崩溃人生（2017）

Crashing S01E02

Part 1 July 15, 2020, 11:20 a.m.

天啊皮特
Oh, my god. Peter.
亲爱的
Sweetest.
-弄得到处都是 -你干嘛
- That was everything. - What are you doing?
搞什么这是谁
What? Who is this?
抱歉我该拿大点的毛巾的
I'm sorry. I should have grabbed a bigger towel.
《浮生若寄》前情提要
这是真实的故事
This is like a raw thing.
我想跟你们说说我老婆
I wanted to talk about my wife
她今天和别人睡了
slept with somebody else today.
去写点段子吧
Go write some jokes.
我看了你的演出
I saw your set.
这能排到我看过的倒数前五了
Like top five worst I've ever seen.
你听见我刚才说的话了吧
You heard what I said, right?
等等那是真事
Wait, that was real?
-我能和你一起住... -那可不行
- Can I stay with you, just for-- - Dude, fuck no.
退后
Back up!
快跑
Run!
-把手♥机♥给我 -那是我的段子笔记本
- Give me your phone. - It's my joke notebook.
你不需要段子但我需要
You don't need my jokes. I need my jokes.
好吧
All right.
只在这睡一个晚上
One night it is, man.
就一个晚上别养成习惯
One night. Don't get used to this.
好吧
Of course.
浮生若寄
第一季第二集
31.25美元
Thirty-one, twenty-five.
天啊
Oh, my God.
这就尴尬了
This is embarrassing.
我刚发现我钱包没了
I-- I just realized I don't have my wallet.
我昨晚被抢劫了
I was mugged last night.
真抱歉这些你都可以免费拿走
Sorry. You may have all of this for free.
你怎么不再顺便拿点薯条和苏打水呢
Why don't you take a chips and a soda while you're at it?
盘子里的这些都是我按自己喜好组合的
I really kind of customized the plate, you know, like
像鸡翅米饭还有...
chicken wing, fill-in rice, and that came with--
都是量身定制的
It's all personalized.
我觉得你们不能
I don't think you can...
再放回去
just put it back. I mean--
不可以的
Yeah, we can.
汤米这有一份要放回去
Hey, Tommy, we have a put-back.
带酱汁的
With sauce.
天啊
Oh, God!
搞什么鬼啊
What the fuck, man?
抱歉
Oh, gee. I'm sorry.
你怎么不按门铃呢
Why don't you buzz?
-这里有门铃吗 -有门铃的
- There's a buzz? - Yeah, there's a buzz.
这是纽约的公♥寓♥楼
This is an apartment building in New York.
不要敲门没人会敲门的
You don't knock. Nobody knocks.
我...
I...
我很抱歉阿迪
I'm sorry, Artie.
这门要两把钥匙才能开
It's a-- it's a two-key system.
我之前不知道
I-- I didn't know.
你早晨起那么早干什么去了
What are you doin' up so early anyway?
什么意思
What do you mean?
都下午了
It's afternoon.
我们都睡过头了
I mean... we slept in.
你在这附近看到香烟了吗
You see cigarettes around here anywhere?
到处都是香烟
There's cigarettes everywhere.
你有什么计划
So, what's your plan?
如果你不介意
Well, if it's okay,
我准备暂睡在沙发上也许...
I was just gonna kind of camp out on the couch, maybe...
-看个悲伤的电影 -我懂
- watch a sad movie. - I understand.
我伤心的时候喜欢看些悲伤的电影
Sometimes when I'm sad, I like to watch sad movies.
看到别人哭
You know, seeing somebody else cry
能帮助我自己哭出来
kind of helps me get a good cry going.
这是个不错的主意非常不错的主意
Well, that's a good idea. That's a great idea.
我觉得你应该就坐在这里
I think you should just sit here.
等会如果需要我帮忙只管来叫我
Let me know if you need help crying later.
我很乐意帮你一把你还是不是个男人
I'll be happy to help you out with that. Are you a man or what?
-爷们一点 -什么
- Be a man. - What?
忘掉这些事吧你老婆抛弃了你
Forget about it. Your wife left you.
有什么大不了的压制住你的情绪
Oh, big deal. Suppress those feelings.
这才是爷们的做法
That's what a man does.
把情绪埋在心里
Keep 'em down. Keep 'em deep down.
转移注意力这才是爷们的做法
Distract yourself. That's what men do.
你得赚钱
You gotta make money.
你不可能带着情绪赚钱
You can't have emotions and make money.
你只用保持面无表情照着别人说的做
Just keep a blank stare on your face, do as you're told,
直到有一天
then one day,
你心脏病发作幸运的话你就一了百了了
you have a heart attack. If you're lucky, you go clean.
"一了百了"
"Go clean"?
我准备这么办
Here's what I gotta do.
我要去奥尔巴尼我有个演出
I'm going to Albany. I got a gig.
是义演但我有钱拿
It's a benefit, but I get paid.
你是赶我走吗
You saying you want me to leave?
不我是说我需要找人开车送我
No, what I'm saying is I need a ride.
要么我去找别人
I could either pay somebody,
要么你免费开车送我去奥尔巴尼
or you could drive me to Albany for free,
等我们到了那里
and when we get up there,
你就可以在台上表演几分钟
you do a few minutes up front, on stage.
你想让我帮你暖场
You want me to open for you?
不我是想坐你的车
No, I want your car to open for me.
我需要一个人开车送我去奥尔巴尼
I need a ride to Albany is what I'm tellin' you.
我能表演多长时间
How much time do you want me to do?
说一句"有请阿迪"需要多久
How long does it take to say, "Here's Artie"?
你这破玩意里有什么CD吗
You got any CDs in this piece of shit?
有啊随便你选我们有...
Yeah. Whatever you want. We got-- we got--
找到了你的小CD集
Oh, here we go. You got your little CD book.
都是不错的收藏
Yeah, nice little sélection.
宝拉·庞德斯通
Huh. Paula Poundstone.
美国喜剧演员
-她挺逗的 -"陶壶子"是什么
- She's funny. - What's "Jars of Clay"?
那是那是音乐
That's, uh, that's-- that's music.
陶壶子合唱团
美国基♥督♥教摇滚乐队
-是一支摇滚乐队 -是吗
- It's a rock band. - Oh, yeah?
-他们唱什么的 -基♥督♥教摇滚乐
- What do they sing? - It's Christian rock.
所以你才没...
It's probably why you haven't--
-来吧 -我都等不及了
- Come on. - I can't wait.
阿迪陶壶子乐队虽然有人嘲笑
Artie, Jars of Clay, people make fun,
但是他们摇滚啊哥们他们棒极了
but they rock, man. They rock.
那是传递信息的音乐
It's music with a message.
什么信息 "自杀"吗
What's the message, "Kill yourself"?
听听就知道了
Check it out.
*如果我四十天后不能游泳*
*But if I can't swim after 40 days*
*而我的思绪支离破碎*
*And my mind gets crushed...*
好了打住赶紧的
All right, let's stop. Come on, man.
你要是一直放那歌♥ 我就从车上
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna tuck and roll out of the car
-轱辘下去 -换这个
- if you keep that on. - Here.
我可不会为了地震
I'm not keepin' canned goods
就在家里囤罐头食品
in my apartment for an earthquake.
我要是被房♥梁压住三天的话
If I get trapped beneath a beam for three days,
我至少还能减点肥
I'm gonna at least lose weight.
西门旅馆
西门餐厅&酒吧
招聘
这地方多压抑哥们
How depressing is this place, man?
-你说什么呢 -我说什么呢
- What are you talking about? - What am I talking about?
你四下看看
Look around you.
"招聘"
"Help wanted."
这个告示看着就压抑
The sign looks depressed.
是吗阿迪挺好的还行
I don't know, Artie. It's nice. It's fine.
我们在路上我吃着薯条
We're on the road. I'm eating french fries.
我早起的话就会抑郁
I get depressed gettin' up in the morning
我好歹是个成功的喜剧演员呢
and I'm a successful comedian.
想象一下起床然后到这上班