崩溃人生（2017）

杰茜 我们不能这样不欢而散
Jess, we can't end an argument negatively.
她总是这样吗
What, is she-- is she always like that?
-你想让我说什么 -给我勇气
- What do you want me to say? - Give me the courage.
这就像量子物理学吧 像弦理论
It's like quantum physics, right? Like string theory.
-是吗 -你一旦注意到下一步如何发展
- Yeah? - You ever notice how the further down
你就接触到了更小的次原子级粒子
you get into the sub-sub- subatomic particles
越神秘 我们越无法理解
the more mystery there is, the less we understand?
我基本没听懂 只听懂了皮毛
I don't get it on the most just basic and most surface of levels.
我的意思就是这些事原理是一样的
What I'm saying is that it's all the same thing.
科学或宗教以及所有事物
Science and religion and all of that,
都是一样的 只是我们试图全面地理解
it's all the same. It's just us trying to understand it all.
科学是用来描绘它
Science is trying to photograph it,
人们去教堂是想要感受它
and people go to church to try to feel it.
说实话 我试着假装
Honestly, I'm trying to pretend
我理解你在说什么
that I understand what you're talking about,
但在上高中时
but in high school,
我以为地球仪上的蓝色代表天空
I thought the blue part of the globe was the sky,
所以我没什么文化
so I'm not deep.
我完全不懂你在说什么
I don't understand what the hell you're talking about.
我知道没有信仰是很艰难的
I know that it's hard to not have anything to believe in,
但如果你试着去信仰会容易很多
but it's easier if you try.
或许吧 但我做了很多坏事
I-- I guess, but, look, I've done a lot of bad things.
我做的坏事大概比你糟糕得多
I've probably done a lot worse than you.
少来了 我才不信呢
Oh, come on. Now, you know, I'm calling the bullshit.
你做了什么
What did you do?
这不是一个初次见面会聊的话题吧
That's not a first-time-we-meet conversation.
可以是个第二次见面会聊的话题
Well, maybe it's a second-time-we-meet conversation.
我会尝试一下
Well, you know, I-- I'll try it.
-我会试试的 -好的
- I'll give it a shot. - Okay.
-你相信我 -对 我相信你
- You believe me? - Yeah, I believe you.
这就是姑娘们犯的错
That's where girls go wrong.
-走吧 -好的
- Come on. - Oh. All right.
*我心中的基♥督♥*
*Christ of my own heart*
*无论降临何处*
*whatever befall*
*于我视野*
*Still be my vision*
*统治万物*
*Oh, ruler of all*
多么美妙的歌♥声
Wasn't that lovely?
你们注意到今天没有婴儿洗礼
You'll notice there are no babies being baptized today,
这不仅是考虑到水上安全问题
that's it's not just for water safety.
是因为我们要进行一个信徒的洗礼
It's because we practice a believer's baptism.
我们和天主教不一样
And unlike, say, the Catholics,
不像他们为婴儿全身洒水
who are sprinkling babies all willy-nilly...
我们有一个三周的课程
We have a three-week course.
格伦
So, Glen.
你别去烦杰茜了
You need to leave Jess alone.
不要插手我们的命运 皮特
Do not interfere in our destiny, Peter.
你愿意用生命来服务和爱基♥督♥吗
Do you pledge your life to the service and love of Christ?
愿意
I do.
欢迎回家 兄弟
Welcome home, brother.
太棒了
Oh yeah!
赞美耶稣
Praise Jesus!
我们都需要谅解 我们都需要救赎
We all need forgiveness. We all need redemption.
我们都需要回家 对吗
We all need to come home, right?
这就是洗礼的意义
That's what this is about.
人有时都会误入歧途
All of us stray from the path sometimes.
顺便说下你老婆想要"仙妮亚·唐恩"我
Your wife tried to Shania Twain me, by the way.
那是什么意思
What does that mean?
意思是她想上我
It means she tried to fuck me.
就像在教堂一样 我们代表上帝
Just like the church, we represent God,
欢迎你回家
welcoming you home.
你肯定犯过一些错
Sure, you've made some mistakes,
做了一些自己并不自豪的事
you've done some things you're not proud of,
做了一些让自己后悔的选择
you made some choices that you regret.
教堂就在这里
Church is still here.
上帝会原谅你 你要做的就是请求原谅
God forgives you. All you have to do is ask.
这不是个好消息吗
Isn't that good news?
-艾伦 -来吧
- Ellen. - Let's do this.
-你准备好回家了吗 -等等
- You ready to come home? - Wait!
-等什么 -杰茜 杰茜
- Wait what? - Jess! Jess!
我需要这个
I need this!
不行 我是第二个 我是下一个
No, unacceptable. I'm next. I'm second.
杰西卡 这样不行
Jessica, this is not okay.
我需要这个 牧师
I need this, Pastor.
-杰西卡 拜托 -求你 让我做这个
- Jessica, come on! - Please, please, let me do this.
-杰西卡 你在做什么 -求你让我回家
- Jessica, what are you doing? - Please, let me come home.
-求你了 -这是个仪式
- Please. - This is a ceremony.
这些人参加了三周的课程
These people took a three-week course.
每周一到周四 上午九点到下午四点
Monday and Tuesday, 9:00 to 4:00.
但我了解基本流程 就让我做一次吧
But you know I know all the basics. Just let me do it.
-你已经洗礼过了 -我知道
- You've already been baptized. - I know,
但我迷路得太远 我需要回家
but I've strayed too far. I need to come home.
杰西卡 我个人认为你在这洗礼
Okay, Jessica, I don't think that you are in the right place
是不合适的
for this, personally.
-把她弄出来 -闭嘴 艾伦
- Get her outta there! - Shut up, Ellen!
-你闭嘴 -把我浸下去再抬起来就好
- You shut up! - Just dunk me and let me be risen!
杰西卡 我们这些会众都清楚
Jessica, we are all aware in this congregation
你对皮特不忠
that you've been unfaithful to Pete.
你背着他跟一个艺术老师出轨了
You cheated on him with an art teacher.
-杰茜 宝贝 -别去
- Jess! Sweetheart! - Hey. Don't do it.
别听他胡说
That's bullshit!
宝贝 你不需要上帝 你只需要我
Baby, you don't need God. You just need me.
-先生 -你在做什么
- Sir. - What are you doing?
你这样很不合适 你得立马出水池
This is very inappropriate. You need to get out of the pool.
办不到 甜心 我好爱好爱你
I can't. Sweetheart, I love you so much.
我很抱歉 我很抱歉
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!
不过我懂你们这活动 这仪式很酷
I get this, though. This is a cool ceremony.
恭喜
Congratulations.
杰茜 我爱你
Jess! I love you,
我需要你 我们一起回家吧
I need you, and I want us to just go home.
这正是我想要的 我想回家
That's what I want. I want to go home.
你不需要上帝 你就是上帝 我也是上帝
You don't need God. You're God, and I'm God.
上帝是爱 我们在一起就能创造上帝
God is love, and together, we make God.
我们回家造上帝吧 以上帝的身份
Let's go home and make some God. We can do it as God.
够了 那都不是真理 多半都是胡言乱语
Okay, none of that is true, and most of it didn't make any sense.
你怎么知道 长官
How do you know, Officer?
什么长官 我是牧师
Officer? I'm a pastor.
-我也是 -真的吗 什么牧师
- So am I. - Really? Of what?
人生牧师
Pastor of life.
我很爱你 杰茜
I love you so much, Jess,
我想余生都和你共度
and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
我初见你时就这么想了
I've known that since we met.
我犯了太多错
I've made too many mistakes.
-没关系 -我偏离了人生道路
- That's okay. - I've strayed off my path.
杰茜 不要 杰茜 等等
Jess! No! Wait! Jess, hold on.
我也犯了错
I've made mistakes too.
等等
Hold on.
-先生 能帮我拿着吗 -好
- Sir, would you hold this, please? - Sure.
等等 你不必这么做
Wait. You don't have to do this.
我原谅你 好吧
I forgive you. Okay.
还有楼梯
Okay. Steps.
杰茜 我们都偏离了道路 但我原谅你
Jess, we've both strayed from the path, but I forgive you.
请你原谅我 我们得回家
Please forgive me. We need to go home.
重要的不是你的谅解
It's not about your forgiveness.
这事我得为自己而做
It's something I have to do for myself.
-我想回到你身边 -我不能和你复合
- I want to come back. - I can't go back with you.
现在杰茜和我在一起
Jess and I are together now.
你在说什么呢 帮帮我
What are you talking about, man? Help me!
帮你
Help you?
我才不会帮你和我老婆复合
I'm not gonna help you get back with my wife!
-我们是一家人 -你不是喜剧演员吗
- We're a family. - I thought you were a comedian now.