差不多得了（2020）

I mean fun.
听起来不错啊 谢谢 妮基
That sounds great. Thanks, Nikki.
我们明天一起喝杯咖啡吧
Let's do coffee tomorrow.
谈谈募捐活动
Talk about the fundraiser,
探索我们的感受
explore our feelings.
你健身吗
Do you work out?
不用回答我
Actually, don't answer.
我想顺其自然地查清楚
I want to find out organically.
那是谁
Who was that?
她想和我一起当班级家长
She just offered to be my co-room parent.
是吗 为什么
Really? Why?
也许她只是喜欢筹款
Maybe she just likes fundraising.
没有人喜欢筹款 乔什
Nobody likes fundraising, Josh.
是啊 葡萄干[谐音]有什么好玩的 乔什
Yeah! What's fun about raisins, Josh?
有什么好笑的
What's so funny?
班级家长的事
Ah, room parent stuff.
你不会明白的
You wouldn't understand.
是她
This is her now!
我得接一下
I'd better take it.
妮基
Nikki, hey!
我穿的是什么
What am I wearing?
她好饥渴
She's got it bad.
她渴望他的大弟
She's just aching for that J-dog D.
你们说什么呢
What are you talking about?
乔什算是一种男人的类型
Josh is a type.
蜂鸟般的鼻子
That hummingbird nose...
脆弱的臀部
His fragile hips.
他吃芥末的时候眼睛会流泪
The way his eyes tear up when he tastes mustard.
他的身材就像梅花J
Dude's got a body like the jack of clubs --
比梅花10[财富牌]要强 而且超单薄
better than a 10 and paper thin.
不 他们只是在开玩笑
No, they're just joking around.
我去见妮基了
Going out to meet Nikki!
她让我洗球球[蛋蛋]
She told me to wash my balls.
太会扯了
So random.
我见过这种表情 让我猜猜
I've seen that look before. Let me guess --
向杀死你搭档的贩毒集团复仇吗
taking revenge on the cartel that killed your partner?
我觉得乔什被勾引了
I think Josh is being seduced.
他还没发现 但我怕他发现的时候
He doesn't realize it yet, but once he does,
已经为时已晚
I'm worried it'll be too late.
开我的间谍车
We'll take my spy van.
威伦司爵士[监视]
地毯清理
旅行小镇火车博物馆
干炮T恤
看看你们干炮的样子
情趣酒店
萨塞克斯酒店
萨塞克斯偷♥情♥酒店
我今天跟踪了你
I followed you today.
我看到你和女朋友在城里闲逛
I saw you gallivanting around town with your girlfriend!
妮基吗 我们只是兄弟 我们喜欢瞎闹
Nikki? We're just buds! We like to horse around
给对方起外号♥ 比如妮克·纳克
and give each other nicknames, like Nik-Nak
和美味的性感小男孩
and Delicious Little Sex Boy.
我看到你们到处调情
I saw you being romantic all over town.
我们只是想找个地方举办募捐活动
We were just exploring potential places to hold the fundraiser.
所以你没有背叛我吗
So you aren't cheating on me?
当然没有
Of course not!
我爱你 别担心
I love you! And don't worry --
如果有人勾引我
If someone were coming on to me,
我肯定能发现
I would definitely know.
以防万一 你可以
Just in case, would you mind
不和妮基一起当班级家长吗
not co-room-parenting with Nikki anymore?
当然
Totally.
谢谢
Thank you.
我们可以在明天举办募捐活动前
Maybe we can stop by her place
去她家和她说一下
before the fundraiser tomorrow and break the news.
好啊 她正好邀请我去参观她的浴缸呢
Sure! She invited me over for a tour of her bathtub anyway, so --
我现在发现了
I see it now.
上帝保佑
乔什 乔什的妻子
Josh! Josh's wife!
太惊喜了 进来吧
What a pleasant surprise. Come on in.
很抱歉突然造访
Uh, sorry to drop in on you like this.
我想和你说一声
I just needed to let you know,
咱来还是不要一起当班级家长了
I don't think we should be co-room parents anymore.
你太逗了
You're so funny!
我知道我平时很逗
I know I'm usually so funny,
但我这次是认真的
but this time, I'm actually serious.
那筹款活动怎么办
But what about the fundraiser?
乔什可以搞定
Josh can take care of it.
他真的很感谢你的帮助
He really appreciates all your help.
谢谢 乔什
Thank you, Josh!
我在做超好吃的苹果馅饼
I've been making a killer apple tart.
来一块吧 证明我们之间没什么不愉快
How about a slice to show there's no hard feelings?
那真是
That would be --
太好了
...lovely.
进行得很顺利啊
That worked out great!
谢谢你来和她说
Thanks for doing this.
没事
No problem.
比利 你好啊
Billy, my man, what's up?
乔什
Josh...
你不喜欢看电视时回答问题吗
Don't like responding to questions when you watch TV?
我女儿也是 等一下
My daughter's the same -- waaait a minute,
为什么你的胳膊像是装满了稻草
why does your arm feel like it's filled with straw?
天啊 比利死了
Oh, my God! Billy's dead!
不 比利并不存在
No! Billy's not real!
我们得离开这里
We have to get out of here!
恐怕你们不能走
I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
无意冒犯 但是
Not to be rude, but...
我们不想吃馅饼了
...I don't think we want that tart anymore.
别担心
Don't worry.
这里只有
The only thing on the menu...
枪
...is gun.
等等 你为什么要把枪放进馅饼
Wait, why did you bake it into the tart?
所以你根本不是学生家长
So you're not even a parent at the school?
当然不是
God no.
孩子太恶心了
Kids are like, echhh!
黏糊糊的小东西 还是算了
With their sticky little blechhhh. Yeah, no.
每个镇上我都干过这种勾当
I've pulled this grift in every town
从圣玛丽亚到圣克拉里塔
from Santa Maria to Santa Clarita.
每个学校都至少有一个爸爸
Every school has at least one dad up to his neck
诈骗回忆
被班级家长整疯 急需帮助
in room parent duties, desperate for help.
干我们这行的都管他们叫"乔什"
In my line of work we call them a "Josh."
但是为什么呢
But why?
你最多只能赚250块
You can't be making more than like 250 bucks.
这是走量的买♥♥卖♥♥
It's a volume business.
我也在凡奈斯还吊着一个乔什呢
I'm running a Josh in Van Nuys, too.
这次的经历很有趣 但我还有孩子要抢呢
Well, this has been fun, but I have children to rob.
如果她拿了钱
If she takes that money,
我们就修不起新游乐场了
we won't be able to afford a new playground!
所有人都会觉得我很愚蠢
And everyone'll think I'm just some dumb Josh!
旅行小镇火车博物馆
募捐活动
-你在干嘛 -我要带我们离开这里
- What are you doing? - I'm getting us out of here.
正在派送
是的 我儿子在这里
Why, yes, my son is here.
他就是人类
And he's totally a human boy.
那两个人呢
Where the hell are those two?
快递
Postpal.
他们没有刀了
They were all out of knife.
你们太差劲了
You guys are the worst.
妮基 站住
Nikki! Stop!
另一边见 废物们
See you on the other side, losers!
靠
Shit.
你不能上来
You can't be up here!
天啊 你真逗
Oh, my God! You're so funny.
妈妈
Mom!