差不多得了（2020）

我是说 地址
I mean, an address?
洛杉矶国家公园
西蒙和加丰克尔精选辑
弄到性♥爱♥和毒品了
We've got the sex. We've got the drugs.
我们来搞笑摇滚吧
Let's comedy rock 'n' roll!
嗯 滚吧
Yeah, yeah, roll.
你干嘛
What are you doing?
什么 你在看手♥机♥吗
What? Are you checking your phone?
什么 哪有
What?! No!
好吧 我在看 你看看坎蒂斯多可爱啊
Okay. I was, but look how cute Candice is being!
你觉得怪人艾尔会在写歌♥的时候
You think Weird Al checks his phone
看他的手♥机♥吗
during songwriting sessions?
不 他可能会拿个东西假装手♥机♥
No, he probably has a parody phone
香蕉之类的 但是无所谓啦
like a banana or something, but who cares?
你在婚礼上也看过手♥机♥啊
You checked your phone during your wedding.
所以我离婚啦
And I'm not married anymore!
拜托 专注点
Come on! Let's focus!
好吧
Fine.
我先发个朋友圈
I just want to post that.
那我让你见识一下[后面都有Post这个词]
Here, I'll show you a post!
标杆麦片
《华♥盛♥顿♥邮♥报♥》
做♥爱♥后
华♥盛♥顿♥邮♥报♥电影
波兹·马龙
策应
Post up!
我靠
Mother --
看看那辆货车是谁的
Time to see who owns that damn van.
找到了 梅雷迪斯·布里德莫尔
I got you now, Meredith Breedmore!
为了保护羊 就必须抓住狼
To protect the sheep, you got to catch the wolf,
想要抓住狼 我们必须也有一只狼
and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.
这是伊桑·霍克的台词
Now you say one of Ethan Hawke's lines.
根本没有人知道他的角色
No one knows his part!
你破坏一段友谊还不够
So it wasn't enough for you to ruin one friendship.
偏偏还要继续作妖
You had to super-size it and make it a combo!
你引用过1998年后的台词吗
Do you make any references past 1998?
你就像我衣柜里的一件旧毛衣
You're like an old sweater that I've had in my closet forever,
我只是不忍♥心扔掉罢了
and I can't throw it away because I feel bad for it.
你就像一件大胡子毛衣
Well, you're just like a fat bearded sweater
以前比较瘦 而且没有胡子
that used to be skinnier and without a beard.
你的比喻真是太可怕了
Your metaphors are really terrible!
很好 因为我讨厌比喻
Good, because I hate metaphors,
而且我知道什么叫比喻
and I definitely know what those are.
你怎么这样
I cannot believe you did that.
自从你生了"洋子宝宝"
I can't believe you haven't focused on this band
居然就对乐队不上心了
since baby Yoko came along.
好吧 那我还是退出乐队吧
Well, then maybe I'm quitting the band!
你很久以前就退出乐队了
Well, you quit the band a long time ago!
不好意思 这是你的手♥机♥吗
E -- excuse me. Uh, is this your phone?
我在网上发新歌♥时 被它砸到了
It hit me while I was posting a new song online.
美国唯一受人尊敬的喜剧作曲家
America's only respected comedy songwriter...
怪人艾尔·扬科维奇
Weird Al Yankovic!
和家人在一起的时候 我只是爸爸艾尔·扬科维奇
Hey, when I'm with my family, it's just Dad Al Yankovic.
太扯了
This is insane!
我们来树林里就是想写一首新的喜剧歌♥曲
We came to the woods to write a new comedy song.
是的 我们本来是这么打算的
Yeah, w -- w -- w -- well, we were supposed to.
我很专注 但艾米丽不是很专心
I'm focused on it, but Emily doesn't seem to care.
我很专心
I do care.
我觉得可以一边写歌♥ 一边照顾家人
I think you can write songs and focus on your family.
我觉得家人只会拖后腿
And I think family gets in the way!
你说呢 怪人艾尔
Who's right, Weird Al?
好吧 首先这件事没有对错
Oh, oh, okay. First of all, there are no sides.
创造一件伟大的艺术品有很多种方法
There are so many ways to create a great piece of art.
不管我在写什么 不管是《吃吧》
No matter what I'm writing, whether it's "Eat It"
或者《阿米什人天堂》
or "Amish Paradise,"
我总是会真实地面对自己
I always just try to be true to myself.
然后我磨了一根独角鲸的獠牙
And after that, I sharpen a narwhal tusk,
刺穿我左脚的脚后跟
puncture the heel of my left foot
用鲜血召唤魔歌♥之神
and use the blood to summon the demon song god
西泉塔泽
Nishquantasi.
魔歌♥之神
The demon song god?
是啊
Yeah!
这也是过程的一部分吗
Is that part of the process?
不 那是只熊
No, that's a bear.
我只是想要一个戈季耶模仿
I just wanted a Gotye parody!
天哪 那只熊在捶怪人艾尔
Oh, my God! That bear is mauling Weird Al!
快跑
Run!
站住
Forsooth, halt!
他好像在说英语
I think that was English!
我靠
What the hell?
那只负鼠戴的是墨镜吗
Is that possum wearing sunglasses?
这下好了 她把狗男带进坚不可摧的堡垒了
Great! Of course she took Dog Boy to an impenetrable fortress!
游戏结束了 伙计
Game over, man, game over!
我来救你了 狗男
I'm coming for you, Dog Boy!
你干嘛
What are you doing?
狗男
Dog Boy?
狗男
Dog Boy?
靠 那扇门很贵的
Damn it! That was a very expensive door!
你要对我的朋友做什么
What are you doing to my friend?
你是说我的朋友吧 和他其实不熟
You mean my friend, probably more mine than his.
我想你们了
Me miss you guys!
但你应该更想念其中一个吧
But you probably miss one more than the other.
对吗 伙计
Am I right, buddy?
安静
Silence!
狗男是我的资产
Dog Boy is my property.
你们在打扰我的工作
You're interrupting my life's work.
你到底想干嘛 梅雷迪斯
Okay. What's your game, Meredith?
你想让皮草变得更性感吗
Are you trying to make furries even sexier?
给你个建议 加点乳♥头♥吧
My note -- Add more nips.
什么 才不是呢 我在制♥作♥这个
What? No! I'm trying to make this!
《灌篮狗》
梅雷迪斯·布里德莫尔著
什么
What?
灌篮狗
制♥作♥中
你在拍动物电影吗
You're making animal movies?
观众不喜欢动物说话的特效
Audiences are sick of CG talking animals.
他们想要真实的感觉
Practical effects are back in demand,
我要靠这些杂交动物发大财
and I'm going to make a fortune off the backs of these hybrids.
她强迫我演电影
She force me to act in these movies.
所以我才想逃跑的
That's why I try to escape.
等等 你不是说你想要自♥由♥
But wait. What about you saying you wanted to be free
做出自己的选择吗
to make your own choices?
是的 演戏的选择啊
Yeah, acting choices.
那她对你的表现测试呢
What about her testing your performance?
是的 18到34岁的人不怎么喜欢我
Oh, yeah, me not testing well among 18-to-34-year-olds.
所以你没有受到折磨吗
So you weren't being tortured?
如果你来演她的烂剧本
If you had to make sense of her terrible plots,
-你也会觉得折磨 -坏狗狗
- you'd feel tortured, too! - Bad dog!
我知道怎么能让你更听话
I know how to make you more obedient!
是时候制♥作♥一个"导演剪辑版"了
It's time for a special director's cut.
你要拿走他的
You're going to take his --
是的 为了生产更多的狗男
Yep, in order to make more dog boys,
我需要他豆袋里的东西
I just need what's in his bean bags,
他的吊坠 他的冰棒
his danglies, his bing-bongs.
天啊 女士 直接说蛋蛋就行了
Oh, my God, lady, just say balls!
不许再往前走一步了 先生们
Not one step closer, gentleman!
那个松鼠长得好像坎蒂斯
That squirrel kind of looks like Candice.
我不是故意拿坎蒂斯和洋子作比较的
I really wasn't trying to compare Candice to Yoko.
她是个好孩子
She's a great kid.
很抱歉我没有专心写歌♥ 小布
I'm sorry I wasn't focused on our music, Bridge.
其实我很喜欢玩乐队 但是
The truth is, I love the band, but
我没办法像你一样专注
I couldn't give it everything you could.
你就像我的亲姐妹一样
I love you like a sister!
你像我同父异母的姐妹一样
And I love you like a half-sister!
因为我已经有个姐妹了