差不多得了（2020）

Please don't murder us!
感觉她整个童年都在这些箱子里
It's like her whole childhood is in these boxes.
万一我还没准备好打包盒子呢
What if I'm not ready to tape up boxes?
万一我还需要盒子装其他孩子的衣服呢
What if I have more boxes to pack with other kids' clothes?
我要去诊所
I gotta get to that clinic!
还要等很久吗
Is this gonna take much longer?
天啊 我醉得厉害
Lord, I'm pretty drunk,
所以我也不知道
so I don't know.
-把门关上 -你们是真人
- Close the door! - You guys are real?
你们居然不是卡♥通♥形象
I can't believe you're not animatronic.
你们的动作太酷炫了
Your movements are just beyond.
谢谢 我们搬到洛杉矶
Thanks. We actually moved to Los Angeles
来追寻机械舞和锁舞的事业
to pursue a career in poppin' and lockin'.
但现在我们跳不了机械舞和锁舞了
But now we can't pop and lock
因为弗格森医生跟我们签了独家合同
because Dr. Ferguson has us on an exclusive contract!
你们父母怎么说
What did your parents say?
我们妈妈觉得这对我们的事业有好处
Our mom thought it would be good for our careers.
我们从没见过我们的爸爸 他只是个捐精者
And we've never met our dad. He was just a sperm donor.
捐精者
Sperm...donor?
可能有些父母不配抚养孩子吧
I guess some parents aren't meant to raise kids.
尤其是因为政♥府♥阴谋
Especially because of the government conspiracy
使地球人口过剩的父母
to overpopulate the planet.
辛格尔顿先生
Mr. Singleton?
胯部麻醉剂准备好了
I've got the crotch Novocain ready.
快躲起来
Quick! Hide!
库房♥
我不知道该怎么办
I don't know what to do, man.
我总觉得结扎不是个好主意
Something's telling me do not get a vasectomy!
我对这一切的感觉也变了
My feelings about all this have changed, too...
我当爸爸了
now that I'm a father!
等等 什么叫你当爸爸了
Wait. What do you mean you're a father?
看看他们
Look at them!
不需要妙女警探也能看得出来吧
It doesn't take Rizzoli and/or Isles to figure this out.
你们没在这里跳机械舞和锁舞吧
You better not be popping and/or locking in there!
没有
Oh, no, uh...
洛杉矶会跳机械舞和锁舞的孩子多了去了
Kids who can pop and lock are a dime a dozen in L.A.
辛格尔顿先生
M-Mr. Singleton!
机器人准备好了
The robots are ready for you!
他总是这样跟你们说话吗
Does he always talk to you like that?
有时候他会给我们看最新的阴毛设计
Well, sometimes he shows us new pubic-hair designs.
真是太难熬了
Those are the tough days.
你们不用再煎熬了 我们要救你出去
No more tough days for you! We're busting you outta here!
我会陪着你们的
And I will be there for you!
从现在开始
From now on!
你们需要什么尽管开口
Whatever you need, just ask me!
他经常这样吗
Is he always like this?
我不知道他现在是怎么了
I'm not sure what's happening with him right now.
我找不到病人了
I can't find the patient.
我 不好
W-- I -- Oh, no.
警报
乔什 不好意思
Josh! Huh? Excuse me?
我想找我丈夫
I'm trying to find my husband.
没听说过这个人
Never heard of the guy.
回车上去
Get back in your car.
过来
Come on.
结扎派对开始咯
Let's get this vasectomy party started.
赶紧离开这里
Come on, let's get out of here!
回来 兄弟
Get back here, bro.
想想你的家人 想想你的未来
Consider your family! Consider your future!
诺玛应该进名人堂的
Consider Nomar for the hall of fame!
消毒洗手液
尝尝这个吧
Consider this!
太棒了
That was awesome!
-乔什 -艾米丽
- Josh? - Emily!
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
我之前在收拾坎蒂斯的旧衣服
I was looking through all of Candice's old clothes.
我还没准备好不要孩子
I'm not ready to commit to no more kids.
我也这么觉得 等等
I feel the same way. But wait...
我以为你喜欢我负责呢
I thought you were really into me being responsible?
这样的交流就是在负责
Us communicating like this is responsible.
回头再说
We'll talk more about this later!
天啊 机器人也奴役了你吗
Oh, my gosh. So, the robots enslaved you, too?
是的 但我每晚可以回家
Yes! Well, I mean, I get to go home every night.
你好歹报个警吧
Were you at least gonna call the cops?
我本来是要报的 好吗
Hey, I was going to, all right?
如果同谋也是犯罪
Well, if being complicit is wrong,
那现在就把我击倒吧
then strike me down right now!
别担心 孩子们 爸爸会保护你们的
Don't worry, kids. Dad's gonna protect you.
等等 你说什么 你不是我们爸爸啊
Wait, what? You're not our dad.
我们的爸爸是佛罗里达州的共和党参议员
Our dad's a Republican senator from Florida.
太尴尬了
So embarrassing.
如果你不相信 可以去查数据库
I mean, if you don't believe us, check the database.
父亲库
姓名
亚历克斯·多潘伯格
精♥子♥未使用
最后已知地点
垃圾填埋场
不
Noooooooo!
别闹了 是时候做个了结了
Enough pissing around. Time to make it final.
没有逆转 没有招回
No reversies. No call-backs.
等等 这里
Wait! Over here!
没人能伤害我一度以为是我亲生的孩子
No one hurts the children I briefly thought were my own!
安静 你必须接受这个手术 兄弟
Silence! You're getting this procedure, bro!
抱歉 机器人
Sorry, robots.
家庭决定要全家一起下
We make our family decisions as a family!
你比基特[美国棒球运动员]还要差劲
You are worse than Jeter.
红袜队加油
Go, Sox!
能量等级
死亡的声音
Dying sounds.
你们俩想在哪跳机械舞和锁舞都可以了
You two are free to pop and lock wherever you wish!
合同
卡梅隆和斯凯
我知道我不是你们的爸爸
I-I know I'm not your dad.
但你们俩前程似锦
But you two have a bright future ahead of you.
如果你们有什么需要
If you ever need anything,
我住在洛菲利兹的一个衣橱里
I live in a closet in Los Feliz.
我们晚点再报税庆祝一下吧
Hey, what do you say we celebrate by doing our taxes later?
我有一些很重要的免税额 希望你可以接受
I've got some serious exemptions I'd like you to take.
虽然我没听懂 但我愿意接受
I don't know what that means, but I'm in!
很遗憾你的精♥子♥
I'm sorry that you don't have any Dorpenbabies
没有生出来多潘宝宝
running around out there.
没关系
I'm not worried about it.
我决定取消结扎了
I decided to reverse my vasectomy,
而且我在蛋国银行还存了点货
and I made a little deposit at Balls Fargo.
我得再喝一杯
And I need another drink.
未来会有多潘宝宝的
There will be Dorpenbabies in the future...
他们肯定超级棒
and they will be glorious.
两千年后
人们喜欢用手做什么
Okay. What do all people love to do with their hands?
-手♥淫♥ -靠 我想的也是这个
- Masturbate! - Damn, you took my answer.
我本来是想说鼓掌
I-I was gonna say clap.
这个游戏叫《像这样鼓掌》
This... is "Clap Like This."
太上瘾了 根本停不下来
It's so addictive! I can't not clap!
这里什么都有
It's got everything --
定位系统 远程屏幕共享
GPS, remote screen sharing,
鼓掌
clapping.
我肯定赢 等死吧
Ooh, yeah. I'm gonna getcha. I'm gonna getcha!
德温 梅尔索
梅尔索安息吧
太棒了
Yes!
-垃圾 -也许吧
- You suck! - Yeah, maybe.
但你知道什么不垃圾吗
But you know what doesn't suck?
-这个游戏 -这个游戏
- This game! - This game!
所以你们要买♥♥我的游戏吗
So, this means you're buying my game?
是的 我们想买♥♥你的游戏
Yes, we're buying your game.
我出六位数
Six figures! Buying it!
-七位数 -一千吗
- Seven. - A thousand dollars?!