差不多得了（2020）

不 一百万
No. A million dollars.
我们只算小数点左边的数
We only count the numbers on the left side of the decimal.
摇啊摇 摇啊摇
Shaky! Shaky! Shaky!
太好了 终于有白人这么摇了
Yeah! Finally, some white guys are making it!
终于啊
Yeah!
我有钱的家人呢
Where's my rich family?
爸爸
Daddy!
恭喜
恭喜你 亲爱的
Congratulations, honey!
谢谢 我买♥♥了寿司形状的牛排
Thank you. I got sushi shaped like steak.
我买♥♥了牛排形状的寿司
And I got steak shaped like sushi.
把它们都扔了吧 现在就扔
Let's throw them both away. We can do that now!
我还买♥♥了别的东西
I bought some other stuff, too.
-一辆新自行车 -酷
- A new bike! - Cool!
我还给自己买♥♥了点东西
And I got myself something, too.
我们终于可以有自己的房♥子了
I just realized we can finally get our own house
只属于我们自己
all to ourselves.
戴夫和梅尔
有钱人接电♥话♥咯
Rich guy answering the phone!
戴夫 梅尔 怎么了
Dev! Mel! Whaddup?!
坏消息 伙计
Bad news, bud.
-我们不买♥♥你的游戏了 -什么
- We're not gonna be buying your game. - What?!
我要去洗手间接电♥话♥ 不解释
I'm gonna go take this call in the bathroom for no reason.
什么叫你们不能买♥♥
What do you mean you can't buy the game?
我们告诉了老板理查德 他就发飙了
We told our boss, Richard, and he flipped out.
他说我们只是花瓶助理
He told us we're just glorified assistants
什么都不能买♥♥
who can't buy anything.
但你们不是吧 你们可以买♥♥我的游戏 对吧
But you're not? You can buy my game, right?
不 我们是不能买♥♥任何东西的花瓶助理
No, we're just glorified assistants who can't buy anything.
不要嘛
Don't!
变不成有钱人了
So much for rich family.
伙计们
Guys?
没事吧
Everything okay?
有事
No, it's not.
因为
Because...
坎蒂斯没骑我送她的小马
Candice isn't riding on the pony I got her!
我豪房♥屋
钱不是一切
逗你的
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
谢谢 你有钱了真好
Thank you. I'm so glad you can afford this now.
购物 桶装鸡尾酒 还有
Shopping, barrel-aged cocktails, and, oh!
快去卫生间看看
You have to check out the bathroom.
这里可以3D打印马桶
They 3-D print your toilet.
一次性的
Single use.
我要去吐一下
I'm gonna go throw up.
妈妈
Hey, Mom.
我的宝贝都26岁了
I can't believe my baby's 26.
有话快说
Okay. Make it quick,
20分钟后我在水疗中心要做香槟阴♥道♥蒸汽呢
I've got a champagne vaginal steam at the spa in 20.
你的阴♥道♥可能得保持干燥了 因为
Well, your vagina might have to stay dry because...ta-da!
没零花钱了
你没零花钱了
You're cut off!
我没零花钱了
I'm cut off?
我们26岁的时候都没有零花钱了 小布
We were all cut off when we turned 26, Bridge.
这也是促使我们成功的原因
That's what pushed us to do well.
那我怎么买♥♥东西 喝东西 开派对啊
How will I buy stuff and the drink stuff and party...stuff?
你奶奶有句话说得好
Your grandma had a saying.
一旦小鸟准备飞翔
"Once the little bird is ready to fly,
它必须先找份工作
it must get a job!"
总之生日快乐 小甜豆
Anyway, happy birthday, sweet pea!
长话短说 艾米丽觉得我们是百万富翁
So, long story short, Emily thinks we're millionaires,
我需要原来的工作
and I need my job back
能给我排多少班就给我排多少
and as many shifts as you can give me.
我不在乎 好吧
I don't care. Sure. Okay.
我现在还有很多信♥用♥卡♥债务
Also, I've got a lot of credit-card debt now,
所以如果还有装机的活
so if you've got any extra installations I could do --
谢了 以斯拉 我不会让你失望的
Thanks, Ezra. I won't let you down.
我无所谓啊
It doesn't matter to me.
永远23岁
我们只对23岁的生活感兴趣
And we're only interested in that 23 life.
我们喜欢说"如果你23岁 那我没问题"
We like to say, "If you're 23, you're fine with me.
如果你24岁了 就自杀吧
If you're 24, just kill yourself."
我妥妥23岁啊
I am so 23.
我能感觉到
I can feel that.
所以我想让你当"永远23岁"的脸面
And that's why I want you to be the face of Forever 23.
等等 我只是叠衣服吗
Wait, I'm just folding shirts?
你不是说要让我当"永远23岁"的代言人吗
What happened to being the "Face of 23"?
你就是脸面啊
You are the face.
你只是在后面
You're just the face in the back...
百叶窗关上 黑暗中的那张脸
with the blinds closed... in darkness.
把那堆不规则的衣服扒开叠好
Just peel and fold the blouses off that wad of irregulars.
你可以半夜打卡下班 再见
You can clock out at midnight. Bye!
把电视弄成曲面的 我想要巨幕电影的感觉
Curve the TV! I want it to look like IMAX.
但你订的是平板电视
But you ordered a flat screen.
爸爸
Dad!
装机的 照我孩子说的做
Plugboy! Do what my kid wants.
好的 哈塞尔霍夫先生
Yes, Mr. Hasselhoff.
这是《海滩游侠》赚的钱
That's "Bay Watch" money.
好的
Cool.
拉米雷斯
Ramirez!
乔什 我们刚买♥♥了水族馆的贵宾票
Josh, we just bought a V.I.P. Pass to the aquarium,
真是太棒了
and it's amazing!
坎蒂斯
Hi, Candice!
我觉得我们应该庆祝一下
Oh, I thought we should celebrate,
我在餐巾酒店订了明天的位子
so I got us reservations tomorrow at Napquinne.
那不是刚刚成为洛杉矶最贵的餐厅吗
Wasn't that just named the most expensive restaurant in L.A.?
是啊 他们可以直接把食物放进你的嘴里 再见
Yeah! They make the meal right in your mouth. Bye!
第一天上班感觉如何 小阳光
How was your first day at work, sunshine?
太难受了
Terrible!
我叠了八个小时的衣服
It was eight hours of folding!
谁会工作八个小时啊
Who works for eight hours?
所有人啊
Only everyone.
但是现在你可以了解预算有限的美妙之处了
But, hey, now you can see how awesome it is to be on a budget.
鹰嘴豆沙
超值装
随便吧 哥们
Whatever, dude.
艾米丽和乔什要买♥♥城♥堡♥搬出去了
Emily and Josh are gonna go buy a castle and move out
而我们却被困在这里 干着脏活累活
and we're gonna be stuck here with shitty jobs
吃桶装鹰嘴豆泥
and a bucket of hummus.
以斯拉 再给我排点班吧
Ezra, I need more shifts.
乔什 你干活太快了吧
Josh, you finish all jobs so fast.
你创下了装机员记录
You set Plugger-Inner record.
你做得很好 为了表扬你
You do such a good job, I do you favor.
你休息几天吧 不用干活了
You take few days off. No work for you.
带薪假期吧
Paid, right?
你是脱口秀演员吗 还挺逗
I did not know you were stand-up comedian, too.
希望你能赶上网飞特♥价♥
Good luck with Netflix special, huh?
但丁 你干嘛
Dante? What're you --
如果你想赚外快
If you want to make some extra cash,
我有装机私活啊
I've got some off-the-books installations,
你懂我的意思吧
if you know what I mean.
-报酬呢 -五十以内
- What's the pay? - Mid-to-low two figures.
我来
I'll do it.
酷
Ah, cool.
可能有人在抢劫吧
Maybe someone's robbing the store,
直接杀了我吧
and they can just murder me.
我靠
What the hell?
这是地下零售狂欢吗
Is this an underground retail rave?
怎么
What's going --
你来了
Oh, You made it!
我是奎恩 这是我的小队
I'm Quinn, and this is my squad.
你还活着
You're alive?
何止啊 我们永远都是23岁
Better. We're forever 23.
每天晚上我们都来参加派对