差不多得了（2020）

沙子
Sand.
骨头
Bone.
沙子
Sand.
骨头
Bone.
沙子
Sand.
骨头
Bone.
沙子和骨头
Sand & Bone.
这是你应得的
You deserve it.
我们开车的时候还是别看这个了
We probably shouldn't watch this while driving.
但我太兴奋了
But I'm so excited!
你老板居然愿意让我们
I can't believe your boss is gonna let us stay
去他海滩公♥寓♥住
at his sweet beach condo.
春假
Spring break!
差不多得了
第一季 第五集
甘菊小学
-妈妈 -准备好去海滩玩一周了吗
- Mommy! - You ready to have a week of fun on the beach?
好啦
Yeah!
坎贝尔老师想问你们
Mr. Campbell just wants to ask you something
要不要让我留在学校
about whether you care if I stay at this school or not.
你们介意坎蒂斯留在学校吗
So, do you guys care if Candice stays at the school or not?
-介意 -我就是问问
- Yes! - Oh, okay, just checking.
有些父母就是眼不见心不烦嘛
Some parents are just out of sight, out of mind. You know?
那坎蒂斯得加把劲了
So Candice needs to step it up then.
她最近的所有测试都挂了
She's been failing all her recent tests.
坎蒂斯的测试成绩怎么会这么差
How could Candice test so poorly?
有可能她只是
Well, it's possible she's just...
只是可爱
you know...only cute.
我女儿不可爱
My daughter is not cute.
不只是可爱
I mean not just cute.
我们该怎么办呢
What can we can do to fix this?
你好 我是脑脑 最先进的机器人家教
Hello, I'm Brainio. A state-of-the-art robot tutor.
提高你的考试成绩吧
Let's improve your test scores.
教育世界
没什么大不了的 我们带它一起过春假呗
It's no big deal. We'll just bring him on Spring Break with us.
其实租借公♥司♥要求
Actually, the loan-out company requires
脑脑必须在家里充电
Brainio to stay at your residence for charging.
所以我们哪儿也去不了吗
So we can't go anywhere?
你们可以去任何地方
I mean, you are free to go anywhere.
比如她以前的学校
Like to her old school.
孩子们 拜托 这辆车是我自己掏钱买♥♥的
Children, please! I paid for this bus with my own money!
乔什 我们不能让她回那个学校
Josh, we can't let her go back to that school.
人们把考试分数看得太重了
People make too big a deal about test scores.
坎蒂斯没问题的
Candice is fine.
我写了我的名字
I wrote my name!
那套漂亮的公♥寓♥
I can't believe that sweet condo
整个星期都要空着了
is just gonna sit empty all week...
也不一定哦
I mean, it doesn't have to.
对啊 你和亚历克斯可以代我们去啊
Right. You and Alex should go in our place.
太好了 谢谢 亚历克斯
Yes! Thank you! Alex?
不知道 我对假期的理解
I don't know. My idea of vacation is not lounging
并不是躺在某个过度修剪的海滩上
on some overly-manicured beach.
太可惜了
That's too bad.
我刚才在读一篇关于离婚炮的文章
I was reading this article about divorce sex
离婚炮
一炮解恩仇
我觉得我们可以试试
and thought we could try it.
我去拿泳衣
I'll get my swim suit!
我们本来可以来一个满意的结婚炮的
We were gonna have satisfactory marriage sex,
现在他们要来一个恶心的离婚炮
and they're gonna have gross hot divorce sex.
肯定会很奇怪 很离谱
It's gonna be so weird and confusing.
我们可以在这里干一场奇怪离谱的结婚炮
We can have weird and confusing sex here.
我们就在家过春假吧
I say we do a Spring Break at home.
家庭度假
An at-home-cation.
我太沮丧了 无法享受春假
I'm too bummed to have a spring break.
我们失去了公♥寓♥ 坎蒂斯也不聪明
We lost the condo, and Candice isn't smart.
我要自闭了
I need to grieve.
别这样 伙计
Come on, man.
有个蛋蛋漏出来了
One of the boys got out.
它好兴奋 春假
He's excited. Spring Break!
乔什
Josh?
音乐哪来的
Where's that music coming from?
妈咪 我能看懂字母表上的字母
Hi, Mommy! I can read the letters of the alphabet!
太棒了
That's great!
你正好赶上湿T恤比赛了
You're just in time for the wet T-shirt contest.
乔什 真是太棒了
Josh, this is awesome!
好吧 你说得对
Okay, you're right.
只要坎蒂斯玩得开心 好好学习
As long as Candice is happy and doing well,
我们可以给家庭度假一个机会[喝酒]
we'll give this at-home-caytion a shot.
说到喝酒
Speaking of shots!
家庭度假
At-home-caytion!
没事吧 坎蒂斯
Everything okay, Candice?
问题太难了
The questions are too tough.
格雷格和苏西是孩子们 不是孩子门
Greg and Suzie are children, not childs.
因为你答错了
And now because you got an incorrect answer,
赞助商有话要说
a word from our sponsors.
你会因为女儿
Does your head hurt because your daughter
学习不好而头疼吗
is struggling in school?
我是个失败的母亲
I'm a failure as a mother.
试试脚趾镇的脚底按♥摩♥器吧
You deserve a foot massager from Toe Town!
请点击屏幕购买♥♥
Press the screen to buy now.
我们买♥♥不起足部按♥摩♥器啊
We can't afford a foot massager.
我们在度假 挥霍一下也无妨
It's vacation! We can splurge!
购买♥♥
沙子
Sand!
骨头
Bone.
沙子
Sand.
-骨头 -好帅气
- Bone? - Ooh, that is hot.
-是吧 -等等 等等
- Right? - Wait, wait, wait.
再来一次
Do that again.
把手♥机♥放下 来壳里舒服一下吧
Well, why don't you put your phone down and get in the shell?
这里有颗珍珠哦
There's a pearl in here.
我说的是我没割过包皮的阴♥茎♥
I'm talking about my uncircumcised penis.
加长版
It's a director's cut --
没有伤口 而且长的有点过分
no cuts and longer than it needs to be.
别急嘛 我们要在这里住一周呢
Chill! We're gonna be here all week.
我想赶紧发个状态 证明我在度假
I just want to post this real quick so it actually happened.
你非得现在发吗
Do you have to do this right now?
是啊 现在是发状态的黄金时段
Yes! This is prime posting time.
如果我现在发布并标记位置
If I post it now and tag the location,
就有可能出现在"沙子和骨头"的动态里
it has a chance of showing up in the Sand & Bone story,
这样就多了一万多粉丝可以看到
which puts it in front of like 10,000 more followers,
流量也会更多
which means more traffic.
试试新吊床吗
Wanna come try out the new hammock?
闭上眼睛 感觉就像在哥斯达黎加一样
If you close your eyes, it feels like you're in Costa Rica.
-好啊 -不行
- Yes! - No.
她差点就答对了一个
She almost got one right.
这个简单
Here is an easy one.
以下哪句话含有介词短语
Which of the following sentences contains a prepositional phrase?
介词什么
A prepo-what?
错误
不喜欢介词吗
Prepositions got you down?
介词 管它呢
Prepo-who cares?
是时候去哥斯达黎加尝试高空滑索了
Maybe it's time for a prepo-zip-line vacation in Costa Rica!
哥斯达黎加
滑索假日
这些问题有点难啊
These questions are kind of hard.
聪明的孩子也不一定能答对
I mean, even a smart kid couldn't get them.
什么意思
Well, what's that supposed to mean?
没什么意思 我是说
No-nothing. I mean...
这个破机器人毁了我的人生
This stupid robot is ruining my life!
乔什 我不是故意的
Josh, I didn't mean it!
-我说漏嘴了 -我去跟她谈谈
- It just slipped out. - Let me go talk to her.
学校很重要 但你最好能找到
School is important, but it's better to just find
自己喜欢的事情
something you're passionate about.