差不多得了（2020）

我们正在直播最后一场比赛
We're live with the final event.
粉碎者坎蒂斯将尝试创造世界纪录
Candice the Crusher is gonna try and set the world record.
开始
And go!
加油 坎蒂斯
Go, Candice!
坎蒂斯
Candice!
你们在干什么 妈呀
What the hell are you guys -- Oh, crap!
怎么回事
What's happening?
把恒温器关了
Turn off the thermostat!
靠 我刚拍的照片
Damn it, I just took a picture!
差不多得了
第一季 第一集
甘菊小学
上一次 我晚餐吃了冰激凌
Last time, I got to eat ice cream for dinner
这样我就不会记得他们迟到了
so I wouldn't remember they were late.
但我还是记得
But I do remember.
我四岁的时候我爸就搬出去了
Yeah, my dad moved out when I was 4.
我也记得
I remember that, too.
我又能吃冰淇淋了吗
Do I get ice cream again?!
什么意思
What do you mean?
好好表现 你就能吃到蛋筒华夫饼
Play this right, and you'll get a waffle cone.
艾米丽 约书亚 我还在想你们怎么还没来
Emily, Joshua, I was so worried when you didn't show up.
没事吧
Is everything okay?
坐下来喝杯果汁吗
You guys want to sit down, have a juice box?
不行 我们得
We can't. We gotta --
伙计们
Guys...
永远不要说"不行" 要说"我尽量"
Never say, "I can't," always say, "I'll try."
坐吧
Let's sit.
我尽量
I'll try.
伙计们 坎蒂斯还没有交
Guys, I'm concerned that Candice hasn't turned in her patch yet
她的家谱缝制♥作♥业
for the family tree quilt project.
空着的地方本来应该放坎蒂斯的作业的
This empty space is where Candice's project would go.
我没听说缝制♥作♥业啊
I never heard about a quilt project.
抱歉 我知道你刚来甘菊
Look, sorry, I know you're new here at Chamomile.
这所学校不好混 不是每个家庭都能胜任
It's a tough school. Not every family is up to the task.
坎蒂斯的作业必须在明天之前完成
Candice's project needs to be done by tomorrow
我们要在明早的活动上展示
so we can present it at the event in the morning.
活动 什么活动
Event? What event?
我把班级快照发给你们了
I sent you guys the class snap.
伙计们 明天是家庭传承活动
Okay, guys, remember the family heritage event is tomorrow,
每个学生都要向同学和家长
and each student will present their patches
展示缝制♥作♥业 别迟到啦
to the class and parents, so don't be late!
但如果坎蒂斯不能参与
But if Candice isn't able to participate,
我只能给她打A了
I'll be forced to give her an "A".
意思是"几乎可以接受 其实并没有"
Which stands for "Almost acceptable but not quite."
我一般不喜欢这么苛刻
And I don't usually like being that harsh.
我们要好好把这个作业完成
You know what? We're gonna do the hell out of that project.
是啊 我们一定会在展示会上大放异彩的
Yeah! We're totally going to kill it at the presentation.
让其他孩子的作业看起来像一坨shi
Make those other kids' patches look like S-H-I-T!
一坨shi
Total S-H-I-T!
你们在说"屎"吗
Are you guys spelling "shit"?
靠 那些老师真厉害
Damn it! Those teachers are good!
还好我们把她送去那所学校了
So glad we can send her to that school.
天啊
O-m-g!
我们要照顾小柺杖糖吗
We get to take care of Candy Cane?!
走之前我想问几个问题
A few quick questions before you go.
绝对不行
This is so not happening.
什么 为什么 我们住在一起
What? Why? We live together.
你们就不能帮我们看一晚孩子吗
Can't you baby sit for one night?
看孩子不符合我今晚放松的计划
Babysitting doesn't exactly gel with my plan to get off tonight.
我 等等 放松什么
And I -- Wait, get off from what?
你连工作都没有
You don't even have a job.
拜托 亚历克斯
Come on, Alex.
高♥潮♥吗
Orgasm?!
你今晚想要高♥潮♥
You're trying to have an orgasm tonight
所以你才没办法
and that's why you can't help
照顾这个美丽的天使般的孩子
look after this beautiful, angelic child?!
天啊 那是什么
Oh, my God! What's that?!
再见
Bye!
小巷
这里有油条
They got churros here?!
乔什 我们大老远过来
Josh, we didn't come all the way down
不是为了在时尚区买♥♥油条的
to the Fashion District to get churros.
我砍价是一把好手 所以我来买♥♥布料
Since I'm an expert haggler, I'll buy the fabric.
你买♥♥线就行了
You just need to buy the thread.
明白 坎蒂斯必胜
Got it! This is for Candice!
坎蒂斯
Candice!
有人知道哪里能找到线吗
Does anybody know where I can find thread?
线
Thread?
线 卖♥♥线
线 有人有线吗
Thread! Does anyone have any thread?
不明白你在说什么
你在卖♥♥任天堂吗
Oh, you're selling Nintendos?
油条
三块七一♥码♥
法拉绒推车的约瑟只卖♥♥三块五
你们知道哪里有线吗
Have you guys seen thread?
这是我见过最酷的东西
That's the coolest thing I've ever seen!
先生 我们这里是"鸟朋友"
Yes, Señor, Pájaro Pals.
我们可以把鸟打扮得和你一样
Where we make birds... look like you!
挺帅的 乔什鸟
Lookin' good, Bird Josh.
傻♥逼♥白人
我也爱你
Love you, too.
我的钱包 小子
My wallet! Hey, kid!
坎蒂斯呢 她不在房♥间
Where's Candice? She isn't in her room.
我也不知道 她说她要去吃晚饭
I don't know. She said she was gonna go grab dinner!
五岁的孩子哪能随便吃晚饭啊
5-year-olds don't just grab dinner.
你得帮他们点外卖♥♥啊
You have to order it on GrubHub for them.
坎蒂斯
Candice!
坎蒂斯
Candice!
坎蒂斯
Candice!
坎蒂斯 坎蒂斯
Candice! Candice!
晚饭 我可以和你们在这里吃吗
Dinner! Is it okay if I hang out over here with you guys?
当然 坎蒂斯 让你的房♥东珀尔帮你弄吧
Sure, Candice. Let your landlord, Pearl, take care of it for you.
兰迪 摆盘
Randy, set a plate!
妈 我在专注做事呢
Ma, I'm trying to focus!
这个周年纪念礼物怎么也变不成随性艺术了
This anniversary gift's never gonna look casually artful!
什么是随性艺术
What's casually artful?
就是看起来不需要花很多功夫
Well, it's like a thing that doesn't seem like it takes a lot of work
但是还挺费功夫的
but it kinda does and --
-一颗心脏 -有了
- Here's a heart. - Eureka.
孩子才是未来
Children are the future.
你肯定不相信发生了什么
You're not gonna believe what happened.
乔什 你去哪里了
Josh? Where have you been?
-我的钱包被偷了 -什么
- My wallet got stolen! - What?
-天啊 你没事吧 -不 我有事
- Oh, my God, are you okay? - No! I'm not okay.
我的快餐卡就在那个钱包里
My freaking Togo's card was in that wallet.
上面都盖了九个了
I had nine punches on it!
线也被偷了吗
They got the thread, too?
我一直没时间去买♥♥线
I never had time to get the thread.
买♥♥BJ的时间比我想象中的长多了
It took me a lot longer than I thought to get that BJ.
什么
What?!
乔什鸟
Bird Josh.
乔什 你只有一个任务
Josh! You had one job!
时尚区即将关闭
The Fashion District is now closing.
康斯薇洛 等等 我需要那块布
Consuelo, wait! I need that fabric!
不
No!
我们来不及缝制了
We're never gonna make this quilt in time!
也许乔什鸟能帮上忙 去找我们的车
Maybe Bird Josh can help. Go on, find our car, boy!
傻♥逼♥白人
我也爱你
Love you, too!
它不会回来了 它不是在说爱你
He's not coming back. That's not what he's saying.
那是什么
What was that?
好像是个人
I don't think we're alone.
就是他偷了我的钱包
Hey, that's the kid who stole my wallet!
快餐店的章费了我好大的劲呢
I worked hard for those Togo's stamps!
你不能拿走不属于你的东西