差不多得了（2020）

Skate Dad.
你真差劲
You suck.
怎么了
What's going on?
我们在哪
Where are we right now?
爸爸 过来看
Hey, Dad! Check it out!
等等 你教坎蒂斯滑冰了吗
Wait, you taught Candice to skate?
没有
Nooo...
滑板老爹 你的孩子很有天赋
Yo, Skate Dad! Your kid's a natural!
很有天赋
Natural.
-乔什 -干嘛
- Josh! - What?
我知道你很想让坎蒂斯学滑冰
I knew how bad you wanted Candice to learn to skate,
所以我回滑板店
so I went back to the skate shop
给她报了个班
and I signed her up for a lesson.
你太会滑了 糖糖
You shred, Candy!
翱骊肯定手到擒来
We'll have you ollyin' in no time!
谢谢 嗖嗖老爹
Thanks, Papa Goosh!
嗖嗖老爹
Papa Goosh.
漂亮 伙计们
Yeah! great job, guys!
太蠢了
So stupid.
我也可以的
I could do that.
坎蒂斯
Candice!
你没事吧 小柺杖糖
You okay, Candy Cane?
膝盖擦了皮
I scraped my knee!
有我呢
I got it.
现在我才是滑板老爹
Now, I'm Skate Dad.
够了
That's it!
派对用冰
艾米丽
Come on, Emily.
我们走吧
We're leaving.
股沟韦弗爵士 为啥现在就走啊
Whoa, Sir-groiny Weaver, where's this coming from?
我受够了
I've had enough.
这家伙教坎蒂斯滑冰是一回事
It's one thing that this guy is teaching Candice to skate,
但现在他想代替我成为滑冰老爹
but now he's trying to out-Skate-Dad me, too?
别这样嘛
Aw, come on.
我也可以教你啊 免费的
Hey, I can teach you, too. It's a free class.
嗖嗖 别逼逼了
You know what, The Goosh, you're full of it!
别装好人了
Enough with the nice-guy act.
装好人 我就是个好人啊
Act? I'm nice. I'm a nice guy.
我们用老办法解决吧
We're gonna settle this old-school.
炸洛杉矶最恐怖的山
Let's bomb the gnarliest hill in LA --
巴克斯特街
Baxter Street.
巴克斯特街
毫无疑问
No doubt.
毫无疑问 毫无疑问 毫无疑问
No doubt. No doubt, no doubt.
乔什 这太扯了
Josh, this is insane!
不好意思 先生 你有点激动
Excuse me, sir. Obviously, you're a little agitated.
滑板老爹还没有老到不能炸巴克斯特街
Skate Dad is not too old to bomb Baxter Street!
乔什 你怎么回事
Josh! What is wrong with you?
你为什么要这么做
Why are you doing this?
不滑冰便去死
Skate or die!
坎蒂斯
Candice!
我来了 宝贝
I'm coming for you, baby!
等等 我还没教过你炸街呢
Wait! I haven't taught you about street bombing yet!
教她的人应该是我 滑板老爹
If anyone's gonna teach her, it should be me, Skate Dad!
-坚持住 坎蒂斯 -女士
- Hang on, Candice! - Ma'am!
你要顺风倾斜
What you're gonna want to do is lean with the wind.
我好怕 嗖嗖
I'm scared, Goosh!
别跟嗖嗖说啊 跟我说
Don't tell The Goosh you're scared. Tell me.
我是你♥爸♥
I'm your Dad!
你为什么要这样
Why are you doing this?
我为什么要这样
Why am I doing this?
这本该是我和女儿
This was supposed to be my fun thing
一起玩耍的时光
that I get to do with my daughter.
这个嗖嗖混♥蛋♥
And this evil Goosh-bag
想夺走我的一切
is trying to take that away from me!
我不需要你帮忙 因为我知道现在几点了
I don't need your help 'cause I know what time it is.
伙计 听着
Dude, listen.
我爸从没带我滑过冰
My dad never took me skating,
但我不想重蹈我爸的覆辙
and I'm trying to be a different type of dad for Candice.
嗖嗖 谢谢你的帮助 但我必须自己来
Goosh, thanks for your help, but I have to do this myself.
厉害
Whoa, gnarly!
我爸从没带我滑过冰
My old man never took me skating.
我玩滑板就是为了气他
I just took it up to reject him.
-尊重你 哥们 -毫无疑问
- Respect, dude. - No doubt.
毫无疑问 嗖嗖撤了
No doubt. Goosh out!
好吧 我承认那招很酷
Okay, I'll admit that was pretty cool.
爸爸
Daddy!
坎蒂斯 你得站起来
Candice, you have to stand up!
好的
Okay.
我在努力
I'm doing it!
-干得好 坎蒂斯 -干得好 坎蒂斯
- Yeah, way to go, Candice. - Way to go, Candice.
跳回去 我接住你们
Jump back! I got you!
-什么 -来吧
- What?! - Just do it!
宝贝 坚持住
Come on, baby. Hold together.
该死
Oh, shi...
前方道路施工
不是吧
Oh, no.
乔什 小心
Josh, look out!
从下面过
Go under! Go under!
那边
Over there!
太棒了 滑板老爹
Yeah, Skate Dad! Yeah!
那家伙不是滑板老爹
That man's no Skate Dad.
他是滑板父亲
He's a Skate Father.
检测结果都出来了
Well, all the tests came back.
我也不知道该怎么说 但你没有任何问题
And I hate to say it, but there's nothing wrong with you.
那你怎么解释这个
Then how do you explain this?
还有这个
Or this?
我在压力很大的病人身上见过
I have seen this before from patients under a lot of pressure.
-你最近压力大吗 -我吗
- Have you been stressed? - Me?
学生贷款明细
我的天啊
Sweet cashmere Jesus!
你看到我的振动棒了吗
Hey, have you seen my vibrator?
没有
No.
没有 一切正常
Nope. All good in the 'hood.
感谢你们放弃了周六的大好时光
I'd like to thank you guys for givin' up part of your Saturday
来帮我测试我的新游戏
to help me beta test my new game.
欢迎来到《梯子世界》
Welcome to Ladder World!
我们要爬梯子吗
So we just climb the ladders?
是的
Yeah.
成功了 成功了
It's working! It's working!
救命啊
Help!
你为什么要把这个加进游戏 乔什
Why would you put this in the game, Josh?
故障了
Son of a glitch.
不 《水世界》里凯文·科斯特纳的头
Oh, no! Kevin Costner's head from "Waterworld"!
放我出去
Get me out of here!
我喜欢你在《选秀日》的表演
I loved you in "Draft Day"!
有什么意见吗
So, any feedback?
好消息 我没什么问题
Great news. There's nothing wrong with me.
你确定吗 帕奎奥[菲律宾拳王]
You sure about that, Pacquiao?
格兰兹医生说我可能是压力大
Dr. Glandz mentioned some nonsense about stress,
但她不知道我对压力免疫
but little does she know I'm immune to it.
免疫这个词有点过分了吧
Immune feels like too strong of a word.
没事的 我要把我的待办事项
It's fine! I'm just gonna make my to-do list
改为成功清单
a ta-dow done list.
我的清单呢
Where's my list?!
说不定吃点东西能舒服点
Maybe eating something might make you feel better?
太好了 我们连吃的都没有了
Oh, great! We don't even have any food!
没事的
It's okay.
我们还有地震备用火腿啊
We always have the earthquake ham.
有人偷了火腿
Someone stole the friggin' ham!
-没事的 -是吗 乔什
- It's gonna be okay. - Is it, Josh?
如果今天地震了 我们吃什么呢
If an earthquake hits today, guess what we're eating?
-只能吃彼此了 -不一定吧