保佑哈特

Bless The Harts S02E15

Part 1 April 6, 2021, 11:03 a.m.

这条过道里还有什么需要的吗
Okay, do we need anything else in this aisle?
除非你想买♥♥螺旋笔记本
Not unless you're looking to buy spiral notebooks,
家用录影带或者糖尿病糖果
VHS tapes or diabetes candy.
塔拉·J
Tarla J!
塔拉·J是面霜还是...
Is "Tarla J," like, a facial cream or...?
我在这个架子上没看到
I'm not seeing it on this shelf.
不这是塔拉·J的歌♥ 这都不知道吗
No! This is Tarla J! Hello?
占据我的身体 (进来
"Inhabit My Body," parentheses, "Get Inside," parentheses,
(我的心!))
"My Heart," exclamation point!
这是我的歌♥
This is my jam!
我的天我以前想要成为她
OMG, I used to want to be her!
快维奥莱跟我一起跳
Oh, come on, Violet. Get in on this!
你一下喜欢我在商店里唱歌♥的
You used to love me dancing in stores.
你以前会大笑
You used to laugh your little buns off.
我看到了那边的你
♪ I see you over there ♪
-占据我的身体进来 -女士女士
- ♪ Inhabit my body, get inside ♪ - Ma'am. Ma'am.
-了解我亲爱的 -请别在我身上跳塔拉·J的歌♥
- ♪ Get to know me, honey ♪ - Please stop dancing on me to Tarla J.
像我喜欢你一样喜欢我
♪ Get into me like I'm into you... ♪
妈你好丢人
Mom, you are so embarrassing.
你怎么还没燥起来小维
How are you not lit up right now, Vi?
要说有什么的话这让我的生命力失去了光泽
If anything, it's dimming my life force.
好吧
Okay,
我要去给我的光充电
I'm gonna go recharge my light
然后盯着计划生育过道里紧张的青少年
and go stare at the nervous teens in the family planning aisle.
妈
Mother!
你听到了吗高♥潮♥来了
Did you hear that? Ooh, here comes the hot drop.
保佑哈特
第二季第十五集
小维看看我买♥♥了什么卡克菲蒂
Vi, look what I got. Cakefetti!
记得我们以前经常做卡克菲蒂蛋糕
Remember we used to make Cakefetti cakes
在厨房♥里一边听着摇滚92广播一边跳舞
and dance around in the kitchen to Rock 92?
我们来做卡克菲蒂蛋糕吧
Let's make Cakefetti.
不不了谢谢
No. No, thanks.
好吧你想在Oxygen台上刷《囚徒》
Okay, well, you want to watch a Snapped marathon on Oxygen?
还是给殡仪馆打恶作剧电♥话♥ 说
Or let's prank call funeral homes and say,
放我出去我还活着
"Let me out! I'm still alive,
我被困在了你们的棺材里
and I'm trapped in one of your coffins."
妈
Mother!
看吧
And there you have it.
她宁愿一个人坐在房♥间里
She'd rather sit alone in her room
吃苹果也不愿跟我玩
and eat an apple than hang out with me.
我的天哪我找到了
Oh, my Lord on high! I found it!
一个真正的风雨侵蚀的66号♥公路标牌
A genuine, weather-worn Route 66 highway sign.
我曾让我高中男友帮我偷一个
I made my high school boyfriend try to steal me one of these,
后来他射了好多
and he got creamed by a semi.
老天
Oh, Lord.
在卡罗威的跳蚤山上
It's at the Mountain Flea up in Cullowhee.
但我得找到
But I got to find a way
爬上山去卡罗威的方法
to get up the mountain to Cullowhee.
还得趁早因为这些东西卖♥♥得快
And early, since these things do go fast.
韦恩
Wayne?
我不会带你妈妈去卡罗威没门
I'm not taking your mother to Cullowhee. No way.
我受够了给她做事
I'm sick and tired of doing stuff for her
却从来没有一句道谢
and never, ever getting a thank-you.
好像她觉得我是她的男仆
It's like she thinks I'm her manservant.
我不喜欢被一次又一次视为理所当然
I don't like being taken for granted over and over.
贝蒂我给你拿了你的承认尿布
Okay, Betty. I got your adult diapers
和你的痔疮膏
and your 'roid cream.
还有你下面的刺♥激♥膏
And your down-there irritation balm.
韦恩你忘了我的蜂蜜糖
Wayne, you forgot my Bit-O-Honeys.
有画面了吗
You see anything now?!
没继续倾斜
No. Just keep tilting it.
有了完美别动了
Oh, there we go. Perfect. Don't move it.
但它没法自己保持这个位置
But it won't stay in this position on its own!
珍妮我受不了了
Jenny, I can't do it anymore.
那你想要怎么逃避
So how do you want to get out of this?
你想假装流鼻血吗
You want to fake a nosebleed?
不行已经弄过了
No, we've done that before.
必须是真的受伤
It's got to be a real injury.
你想哪里受伤脚趾阴囊
Where do you want it? Toe? Nutsack?
算了我送她去
Okay, you know what? I'll take her.
因为在上山的路上
Because on the way up that mountain,
我会要求她说声谢谢
I'm gonna demand a thank-you.
你要让贝蒂·哈特给你说谢谢
You're gonna demand a thank-you from Betty Hart?
韦恩我给你的选择容易多了
Wayne, I'm offering you a much easier option
用松肉器敲你蛋蛋
with this meat tenderizer to the crotch.
我要要求道谢
I'm gonna demand a thank-you,
我打赌我的直白终于会赢得她的尊重
and I bet my straightforwardness will finally earn her respect.
贝蒂我能
Hey, Betty, I can...
我可以在我凡人和非凡人的余生里
I could watch hamsters eating tiny meals
每天看仓鼠吃小餐
24 hours a day for the rest of my mortal and immortal life.
你觉得仓鼠看我们吃东西的时候
Do you think when hamsters watch us eat,
它们会觉得我们可爱吗
they think we're cute?
怎么会不觉得呢
How could they not?
我试图给我妈给这个超赞的视频
I tried to show this amazing vid to my mom.
她把我当疯子盯着
She just stared at me like I was cray.
我妈和我已经没有什么共同爱好了
My mom and I don't have much in common anymore.
很可惜
It's, like, a bummer.
等等这个漂亮的奇葩是谁塔拉·J
Wait. Who is this gorgeous weirdo? Tarla J?
这就是那首
That's that crappy song
我妈在商店里跟着跳的破歌♥
my mom was dancing to in the grocery store.
等等我们得更深入挖掘下
Hang on. I think we need to do a deeper dive.
我在《名人牢房♥》上见过她
I've seen her on Celebrity Prison-House.
我感觉会有车祸点击这个
I am sensing a train wreck here. Click on this one.
塔露拉·洁德·布洛克出生在佛罗里达州彭萨科拉
Tarlulah Jade Bullock was born in Pensacola, Florida,
被制片人和造星者莫蒂·格罗夫
and was reborn "Tarla J" when discovered
在狂潮水上乐园发现后以"塔拉·J"的身份重生
by producer and star-maker Morty Grove at a Raging Waters.
他喜欢在水上公园物色
He liked to scout at water parks to get,
潜在年轻明星因为他们"接地气"
"the lay of the land" on potential young stars.
变♥态♥的斯文加利风经纪人棒
Creepy Svengali manager. Yes!
对塔拉来说成功很顺利
Success came swiftly for Tarla.
也许太快了
Perhaps too quickly.
小维这太妙了
Vi, this is actually great.
她和她妈妈
Her and her mom partying together
穿着匹配的运动服一起派对有
in matching Juicy tracksuits? Check.
疏离的住在拖车公园的父亲用塔拉的钱
Estranged trailer-park father uses Tarla's money
开了一家巴西莓口味的伏特加公♥司♥ 有
to start an acai-flavored vodka company? Check.
拜托还要有同保镖或者
Please let there be a quickie marriage to a bodyguard
希腊航运大亨的娘炮孙子结婚
or a femmy grandson of a Greek shipping tycoon?
两个都有
Check and... check.
卡罗威
你知道这次行程让我想到了什么吗
You know what this trip reminds me of?
我妈开车载我一路到佛罗里达州
The time my meemaw drove me all the way down
看摔角比赛我特别感谢她
to Florida for Wrestle-Con, and I just thanked her so much.
我从未停止过感谢她
I never stopped thanking her.
务必要大声说出谢谢
It's so important to say "thank you" out loud
这样人们才知道你有多感激
so people know how grateful you are.
韦恩你有开到最高限速吗
Wayne, are you doing the speed limit?
当然不用担心
Of course. Don't you worry about that.
你晚点会谢我的
You'll thank me later.
蠢货
Oh, you idiot.
人人都知道真正的最高限速是往上加10英里
Everybody knows the real speed limit is ten above.
等我们到了跳蚤山后
By the time we get to the Mountain Flea,
我的标牌早没了
my sign will be gone-zo.
行吧这是你想要的吗
Fine. Is this what you want?
为什么我女儿不能嫁给一个有真车的男人吉恩
Why couldn't my daughter marry a man with a real car, Gene?
莉迪亚这就是真车
Lydia, this is a real car.
注意了小车
Attention tiny car!
我们有一个跳蚤市场紧急情况快让开
We have a flea market emergency. Move your ass!
贝蒂打住小车我们跟你们没有不和
Betty, stop. Tiny car, we have no quarrel with you.
请让开一下谢谢
Could you please move over? Thank you!
好极了