保佑哈特

Bless The Harts S02E17

Part 2 April 13, 2021, 9:43 a.m.

为什么偏偏要在创建日折扣前被禁
why did it have to be right before the Founders Day sale?
我无法能在不被察觉的情况下溜进去
There's just no way to sneak in there undetected.
我也许要在自己家里大闹一场了
Y'all, I might have to make a scene in my own home.
我们只需要给你伪装
All we need to do is disguise you.
不你们藏不住我的锋芒
No. You can't hide this light under a bushel.
我的锋芒很强大
This is a powerful light.
你不用担心外婆
You're in good hands, Gram.
大卫很擅长服装打扮
David has a thing for costumes.
这么说吧我的衣柜让鲁保罗的衣柜
Let's just say my closet makes RuPaul's closet
看着就像蒂姆·艾伦的衣柜
look like Tim Allen's closet.
开始干活吧
Let's get to work.
斗鸡
Chicken fight!
漩涡
Whirlpool!
漩涡
Whirlpool!
我是珍妮·哈特
I am Jenny Hart,
这是热水浴缸滑水橇
and this is hot tub waterski!
我们回来了
We're back, baby.
没错宝贝
Yes, we are, baby!
我们需要从头打造一个新人物
We need to build a new character from the ground up.
她很完美
She's perfect.
暂时还不算完美
Mm, not yet, she's not.
改变不能只改变外在
The transformation can't just be on the outside.
你得变成这个新人物
You need to become this new character.
我们来角色扮演
Ooh, let's role-play.
你在克鲁尔百货
You're in Krull's
销♥售♥员说不好意思女士
and the salesman says, "Excuse me, ma'am.
恐怕你的优♥惠♥券过期了
I'm afraid your coupon is expired."
我会说你的生活即将过期
I'd say, "Your life is about to be expired."
然后在跟我自己击掌后我找一个啤酒瓶
Then, after high-fiving myself, I find a beer bottle,
-在柜台上打碎 -外婆
- break it on the counter... - Uh, Gram?
该死
"Oh, heavens.
我看不清日期
"I couldn't read the date.
我的视力大不如前
My eyes just aren't what they used to be."
然后等我让他卸下防备后
Then, once I got his defenses down,
我就攻击他眼睛喉咙和裆部
I give him the old eyes, throat, crotch.
然后我找一个啤酒瓶
Then I look for a beer bottle,
-在...上面打碎 -外婆
- break it over... - Gram.
所以我就说一些虚伪的好话吗
So I just say a bunch of nice bullcrap, and that's it?
你到底想不想回到克鲁尔百货
Do you want to get back into Krull's or not?
再来一遍
Let's try it again.
你的优♥惠♥券被拒
Your coupon is denied.
没事年轻人
Well, that's quite all right, you sweet young man.
如果这是规矩的话我很乐意付全款
I'm happy to pay full price if those are the rules.
贝蒂·珍妮·哈特
Betty Jean Hart,
太完美了
that was perfect.
贝蒂·哈特那是谁
Betty Hart, who's that?
我的名字
My name...
是朗达·威瑟斯彭
is Rhonda Witherspoon.
她准备好了
She's ready.
不只是准备好了
She's more than ready.
她是朗达
She's Rhonda.
珍妮再次放松是不是感觉很棒
Jenny, doesn't it feel good to let loose again?
我的天是的
Oh, my God, yes.
你说我们
Now, what do you say
回我房♥间继续派对怎么样船长
we take this party back to my room, Captain?
好啊
Oh, yeah.
请求进入性♥爱♥港口
Uh, requesting permission to sexually dock.
批准
Permission granted.
我要送船长回他房♥间
I'm gonna escort the captain back to his quarters and...
看我能不能"升起"他的锚
see if I can raise his anchor.
不等等听上去不太对
Oh, no, wait, that doesn't sound right.
我要把我的手放在那个"大船舵"上
I'm gonna put my hands around that big steering wheel and--
不等等我想擦净你的艉甲板
No, wait. I want to swab your poop deck.
不我不擅长这个
Nope. I am not good at these.
我就想你跟我一起上♥床♥
I just want you to come to bed with me.
我醉了各位
I'm drunk, y'all!
所以那个热水浴缸店的人说
...so the guy at the Hot Tub Supply Store says,
这是你的氯
"Here's your chlorine."
我说你有见过我朋友吗
And I say, "Have you met my friends?
你最好加倍
You better double it."
韦恩派对还没完吗
Wayne, the party's still going?
昨晚发生了什么
What happened last night?
我昨天委婉说了那么多跟船有关的骚话
I did all those sexy boat euphemisms,
结果你根本没来床上
and then you never came to bed.
我想想
Well, let me think.
我本来戴着船长帽
I had the captain's hat,
然后外婆的脐环丢了
and then Meemaw lost her belly button ring,
我们不得不关掉喷口去找
so we had to turn off the jets to find that.
然后大家跳起了康加舞
And then there was a conga line...
然后我找不到我的船长帽
and then I couldn't find my captain's hat
然后我四处看发现道格戴着我的船长帽
and then I looked over and Doug had on my captain's hat...
韦恩别管船长帽了
Wayne, forget the captain's hat.
我们应付不了热水浴缸
We can't handle a hot tub.
我们可以应付
Oh, we can handle it.
这让我们找回了我们的火花
It's giving us our spark back.
但是周围这么多人
But there's no time for our spark
根本没空搞我们的火花
with all these people around.
这里有好多我根本不认识的人
We got people here I don't even know walking around.
那个女人是谁
Like, who is that lady?
不知道
No idea.
我知道这是我们的周年纪念日
Ugh, I know it's our anniversary
我不敢相信我会这么说但是
and I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
我只想跟你一起吃一顿无聊的晚餐
I just want a boring dinner with you all to myself.
能这样吗就你和我
Can we do that? You and me?
大牛排很多很多的面包
Huge steak, way too much bread.
我甚至可以去订座 7点半怎么样
I'll even make the reservation. How's 7:30?
好的船长
Aye aye, Captain.
好了我得去上班了
Okay, well, I got to go to work.
今天多喝点水好吗
Just try to hydrate today, okay?
等等这些人是谁
Wait, who are all these people?
嗯我在采石场认识他们的
Oh, yeah, I met these guys at the quarry.
船长你有旧的面包袋吗
Hey, Captain, you got any old bread bags laying around?
我们不能把我们的脚踝监视器打湿了
We can't get our ankle monitors wet.
我懂你意思了
Yeah, I see what you mean.
小心了克鲁尔百货
Look out, Krull's.
朗达·威瑟斯彭要来了
Here comes Rhonda Witherspoon.
大卫不要
David, no.
这只小鸟需要自己飞行
This little bird needs to fly on her own.
别想逃避责任朱利安
Don't try to weasel out of this, Julian.
传♥单♥就是合同
A flier is a contract.
女士今天只有儿童衣服半价
Ma'am, only children's clothes are half off today.
我虽然没戴眼镜但就我所知
Now, I don't have my glasses on, but as far as I can tell,
这些显然是成年人
those are clearly full-grown men.
他们是我的孩子
Who are my children.
所以根据定义他们的衣服应该打折
So by definition, their clothes should be on sale!
天啊我们都知道"孩子"
My stars! Now, we all know that "Children"
指的是年龄而不是跟母亲的关系
is referring to an age and not a relationship to the mother.
亲爱的别把你在生活中的痛苦
Honey, do not transfer the pain that is going on in your life
转接给这位天使他显然在尽力了
to this angel of a man, who is clearly doing his best.
你可真是一股新鲜空气呢
Well, aren't you an absolute breath of fresh air?
我是朱利安你看上去很眼熟
I'm Julian. You look very familiar.
我们以前有见过吗
Have we crossed paths before?
怎么可能我叫朗达·威瑟斯彭
Well, I don't see how. The name's Rhonda Witherspoon.
刚从音乐之乡纳什维尔搬过来
Just moved here from Nashville, Music City.
欢迎来到绿点有什么需要帮助的
Well, welcome to Greenpoint. What can I help you with today?
我要参加一个拯救地球募捐活动
I'm attending a Save the Earth fundraiser,
我想要穿
and I was hoping to wear...
玛蒂娜·麦克布莱德波希米亚式套头上衣
The... Martina McBride boho peasant blouse?
-你怎么知道的 -这是我的工作
- How did you know? - It's my job to know.
后面还留了一件跟我来
I have one in the back. Follow me.