保佑哈特

Bless The Harts S02E13

Part 2 March 16, 2021, 10:44 a.m.

这是绰号♥
It's a nickname.
因为我喜欢坐在同一个地方
'Cause I tend to just kind of sit in one place.
我自己取的
I gave it to myself.
无糖冰糖
Sugar-free rock candy?
第一个问题你最爱的电影是什么
First question: what's your favorite movie?
我最近看的一部
Um, whatever movie I saw last.
也就是《宝贝老板2》
Which was Boss Baby 2.
好了下个问题你喜欢听什么音乐
All right, next question: what music do you listen to?
我超爱音乐
Oh, yeah, I'm a big music fan.
我爱乐器和声乐表演
I love, um, instruments, and, uh, vocals.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我们得马上赶走他
We got to get this dud out of here.
他就像个有了有自我意识的文件夹
He's like if a manila folder became self-aware.
他就是文件夹
Wait, he is a manila folder.
也就是他能接受我们给他灌输的任何事
Which means he can hold anything we put in him.
他是白板
He's a blank slate.
我说不好
I don't know.
我们真有精力能从头
Do we really have the energy to build a friend
打造一个朋友吗
from the ground up?
我有提到我有车吗
Did I mention I have a car?
好你入选了
Okay, you're in.
某人的探测杖换了新电池啊
Well, somebody got new batteries in her wiggle stick.
什么不我只是心情好
What? No, I'm just in a good mood.
我度过了没有我妈打搅的一个半小时
I've had a whole hour and a half with no Mother.
算是提前瞥见了她死后的生活
Uh, it was a real glimpse into how it's gonna be when she's dead.
我是带着爱意说的
I say that with love.
我希望你们都坐下
I hope y'all are sitting down
因为我有坏消息
'cause I have some bad news.
这是种措辞而已继续干活
That's an expression; keep working.
我们有了一些负面的评价
We got some negative Yelp reviews, y'all.
难怪这里叫最后的晚餐
"No wonder this place is called the Last Supper
因为这里的食物就像是瘟疫一星
because the food here is a biblical plague. One star."
露易丝这就是一个人的意见而已
Louise, it's just one person's opinion.
没什么大不了的
It's not that big a deal.
网络真垃圾只有一个好处
The Internet sucks. It's only good for one thing:
让人们投入长♥期♥感情
getting people to commit to a long-term relationship
而不用见面
without ever meeting you.
无视吧露易丝
Just ignore it, Louise.
长话短说
Long story short,
人们需要更快就坐所以我招了一个女服务员
people need to get seated quicker, so I hired a hostess.
有人在这上班吗
Does anybody even work here?
来自你们新接待员的问候
Greetings from your new greeter, y'all!
老天你招了我妈
Oh, dear God. You hired my mother?
测试一二
Test, testing, one-two.
♪三角洲黎明♪
♪ Delta Dawn... ♪
很好可以
Oh, yeah, this works for me.
妈有人等着招待呢
Mother, there are people waiting to be seated.
那你现在在干什么
Well, what are you doing right now?
我在取悦顾客
I am entertaining customers.
招待客人并不止于
The hospitality doesn't end
客人就坐后珍妮
once their butts are in the booths, Jenny.
别害羞
Now, don't be coy.
我知道你肯定是模特或者演员
I know you must be a model or an actor.
这是什么
Okay, now what's this?
我得尝尝菜单这样当人们问起
I need to try the menu so when people ask,
这个好吃吗这个好吃吗这是什么
"Is this good? Is that good? What's this?"
我知道该怎么回答
I can have an answer.
珍妮我的新朋友们
Jenny! My new friends over here
需要再来点冰茶快点
need some more iced teas. Think fast!
完美
Perfection.
所以我现在更酷了
So I'm cooler now?
毋庸置疑这样你几乎可以算酷了
A thousand percent, which brings you up to almost cool.
接下来做什么
Ooh, what do we do next?
我们要玩飞盘吗
Should we play something cool like Frisbee?
坐我们要看一部关于Styx乐队的纪录片
Sit. We're watching a documentary about the band Styx.
酷人喜欢他们吗
Oh. And cool people like them?
不帕克这不在于喜欢什么
No. Parker, this isn't about liking something.
而是在于享受你有多不喜欢某样东西
It's about enjoying how much you don't like something.
我们讽刺地喜欢着Styx
We like Styx ironically.
我懂
Oh, I get it.
你们不喜欢他们所以你们喜欢
You don't like it, so you do like it.
让我试试
Okay, let me try:
我喜欢我的甘甘住院了
I like that my gamgam's in the hospital.
天我们有好多工作要做
Oh, my God. We got so much work to do.
我跟她说我不会分她我一半的小费后
And when I told her I wouldn't give her half my tips,
她就把我的手♥机♥号♥写在了
she wrote my cell phone number on the wall
男厕所里的墙上
in the men's bathroom.
看看我手♥机♥ 如果你想知道
So check my phone if you want to know
每种鸡鸡长什么样子
what every kind of penis looks like.
珍妮一条大众点评毁了我们的美好计划
Jenny, a Yelp review ruined our beautiful plan
一条大众点评也能力挽狂澜
and a Yelp review can fix it.
珍妮有件事
Jenny, there's something I've been meaning
-我想告诉你很久了 -韦恩
- to tell you for a long... - Wayne,
你是秘密网络义警吗
are you a secret online vigilante?
搞错没有
Oh, come on!
你怎么能猜到的
How could you have figured that out?
我没给你任何线索
I gave you zero clues.
总之让我给你介绍
Anyways, allow me to introduce to you
我的网络形象
my online personage,
罗尼·蒂姆·谭纳
Ronnie Tim Tanner.
前陆军特种部队成员同时也
Ex-Green Beret who's also a three-time
参加过三次奥♥运♥会铅球比赛
Olympic medalist in the shot put.
真棒韦恩因为露易丝一定会听
That's great, Wayne, 'cause Louise really listens
网上的男士权威人物
to male authority figures online.
人人都会听不仅如此
Uh, everyone does. And not only that.
他把他最后一块金牌
He dedicated his last gold medal
送给了一个战胜癌症的贫民小孩
to an inner-city kid who had beaten cancer.
当一个善良的前军人兼奥♥运♥会奖牌获得者
When an ex-military Olympic medalist with a heart of gold
跟你说你的小生意日渐马虎
tells you your small business is getting sloppy,
你就得听进去
you listen.
罗尼·蒂姆和我一手包办改变了
Ronnie Tim and I single-handedly turned around
一家使用加工奶酪的墨西哥餐厅
a Mexican restaurant that had switched to processed cheese,
一家用填充花代替真花的
a mom-and-pop florist that was churning out bouquets
夫妻花店我们还让大家
of filler flowers, and we also got people
给了一家图书馆第二次机会
to give a second chance to a library
图书馆停车场里发生了一起凶案
where there was a murder in the parking lot.
然后罗尼·蒂姆变成了一个酒鬼
Then Ronnie Tim became a raging alcoholic.
不
Oh, no.
为什么
Why?
目前罗尼·蒂姆只能住得起船屋
Currently, Ronnie Tim can only afford to live on a houseboat,
把钱都花在了酒和招♥妓♥上
blowing his money on booze and hookers.
任何时候你都能看到他踉踉跄跄
Any given day, you can see him stumbling around,
尽量不从家里掉下去
trying not to fall off his house.
可怜的家伙
Poor guy.
他还能忍♥多久
How much more can he take?
由于长♥期♥滥用类固醇
And thanks to long-term steroid abuse,
他还患上了阳痿
he's also got jelly dong.
不
Oh, no.
这人的声音有资格被听到
This man has earned the right to be heard.
我想是时候让罗尼·蒂姆
I think it's time Ronnie Tim
发表他对最后的晚餐的新服务员的看法了
chimed in about the new hostess at the Last Supper.
这就去
On it.
帕克你之前是对的
Okay, Parker, you were right.
那个眼罩影响了你开车
That eyepatch did affect your driving,
-你可以摘下来了 -帕克
- so you can take it off. - Now this, Parker,
这是我们最爱的游戏每家玛超♥市♥宾果
is our favorite game: Mega Lo Mart Bingo.
我们随机指人然后根据
We point out people and award each other points
他们有多糟糕互相打分
based on how much of a hot mess they are.
我给你示范下一个男人坐在电动车上
Here, I'll show you. A guy on a Rascal,
两面美国国旗氧气瓶买♥♥烟
two American flags, oxygen tank, buying cigarettes?