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Horse gums. And... neck rings.
珠宝的作用有限 我说得对吗 女士们
Statement jewelry can only work so hard. Am I right, ladies?
有什么办法
What can be done?
很遗憾 没有治愈方法
Sadly, there is no cure.
但是可以管理症状
But the symptoms can be managed,
通过整形手术
through cosmetic surgery,
面霜 面膜泥和包皮
creams, slimes and foreskins.
今年 我们一年一度的晚宴
This year, our annual gala
致力于帮助低收入患者
is dedicated to helping low-income sufferers
获得她们急需的手术
get the procedures they so desperately need.
等等 这是帮助穷♥人♥做整形手术
Wait, this is for poor people to get plastic surgery?
各位 我就是这个慈善组织的目标人群
Y'all, I'm exactly who this charity is meant for.
我要扭扭屁♥股♥
I got to shake my buns
去做慈善手术
and get me some of those charity procedures.
玛琼恩
Marjune!
你好 贝蒂
Oh, hello, Betty.
谢谢你们俩过来
Oh, you two, thank you for coming.
有新人加入真是太好了
It is so nice to have some new faces around here.
说到新的面孔
Speaking of new faces,
我要怎么整形
how might I get one?
贝蒂 我觉得你什么都不需要
Oh, Betty, I don't think you need a thing.
玛琼恩 看看我的脸
Marjune, look at my face.
这些是一个本地老太婆的鱼尾纹 拜托了
These are the crow's feet of a local grandma. Please!
这样吧 我的小雪茄
You know what, my little cigarillo?
你现在排在了女性年龄救济名单的榜首
You just shot to the top of the Female Age Relief List.
这才是正确操作方式
And that's how you do that.
这是有钱人的破玩意
This is some ridiculous rich-butt crap.
250刀不值得我出♥卖♥♥♥灵魂
$250 is not worth my soul.
珍妮弗 我差点忘了 这是我欠你的250
Oh, Jennifer, I almost forgot. Here's the 250 I owe you.
玛琼恩 这些全是10元面值的
Marjune, these are all ten-dollar bills.
是的 250张10元
Yes, 250 ten-dollar bills.
就是2500刀
That's $2,500.
不该是1元面值的吗
Shouldn't these be ones?
好多年前就不印1元的了
They stopped making one-dollar bills years ago.
再见 灵魂
Bye-bye, soul.
我们还要去碎浆吃玛格丽特和玉米片吗
So we still on for margs and nachos at Slusheritos?
这就是我活着的目的 跟我的闺蜜布兰达一起买♥♥醉
It's what I live for-- getting slushed with my best Frenda.
什么鬼 珍妮 你是没叫上我去抢银行了吗
What the hell? Jenny, did you rob a bank and not bring me with?
你知道那是我的遗愿之一
You know that's on my bucket list.
不 这是我参加绿点淑女的薪水
No, it's my pay from the Ladies of Greenpoint thing I'm doing.
一群打响指的有钱人
Bunch of rich finger-snappers.
布兰达 你也要去
You know what, Brenda, you're gonna get in on this, too.
-你要来参加晚宴 -算了
- You're coming to the gala! - I don't think so.
到时会有上肋切制台
There's gonna be a prime rib carving station.
橙色热灯 木板
The orange heat lamp, the wood block,
戴着白色高顶帽的魁梧男人
the husky man in the tall white hat
面带微笑 手握大刀
with a big smile and a generous knife.
别想利用我对
Don't try to use my love
新鲜切割的肉的爱来操控我
of freshly carved meat to manipulate me.
抱歉 已经搞定 我把你加进了晚宴名单
Sorry, it's done. I'm putting your name on the list for the gala.
随便了
Whatever, dude.
我不知道为什么布兰达这么生气
I don't know why Brenda's so mad.
拜托 珍妮 好好想想
Come on, Jenny, do the math.
绿点淑女是酷人
The Ladies of Greenpoint are the cool kids.
你和布兰达在初中是闺蜜
You and Brenda were best friends in middle school,
但现在是高中
but now it's high school,
而你被啦啦队选中
and you just got picked for J.V. cheerleading.
耶稣 你最近在刷成长纪事的电影吗
Jesus, have you been binging coming-of-age movies?
布兰达只是不想让这段新的关系
Brenda just doesn't want this new relationship
影响你们的友谊
to affect your friendship.
就像《红粉佳人》里 安迪爱上了
Like in Pretty in Pink when Andie fell in love
那个有钱人 而忽视了达奇
with that rich guy and ignored Duckie?
或者《贱女孩》里凯蒂说她要潜入"女王蜂"
Or in Mean Girls when Cady said she was gonna infiltrate the Queen Bees,
结果却成了她们的一员
but instead became one of them?
为一群有钱女人工作不会改变我的为人
Working for a bunch of rich ladies isn't gonna change who I am.
我仍然是这个街区的珍妮
♪ I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block. ♪
我给了詹妮弗·洛佩兹这首歌♥的灵感
Hey, you know, I gave J.Lo the idea for that song.
-是吗 -所有人的歌♥的灵感都是我给的
- You did? - Yeah, I give everyone their ideas for their songs.
我和可♥卡♥因♥ 但主要是我
Well, me and cocaine, but it's mostly me.
一则趣事 埃里克·克莱普顿的《可♥卡♥因♥》 我启发的
Oh, funny story, Eric Clapton's "Cocaine"-- that was me.
但是《耶稣对我很好》
But "Jesus Is Just Alright with Me"?
-那是可♥卡♥因♥ -没错 嗑了很多可♥卡♥因♥
- Cocaine? - Yep, so much cocaine.
珍妮弗
Jennifer!
你确定你朋友要来吗
Sure your friend is still coming?
她的果汁开始分离了
Her Slusherito is separating.
倒回去重做 她会来的
Dump it back in for another spin. She'll be here.
这是什么
Ah, what have we here?
什么 那就是个善良的老女人
What? That's just a nice old lady.
那是她想让你这么觉得
That's what she wants you to think.
看看她的弓形腿
Look how bowlegged she is.
她以前显然是骑马的
She obviously used to ride horses.
或者不是 等等
Or no, wait.
摩托车
Motorcycles.
那个女人
That lady?
不可能
No way.
大声油管挽救生命[摩托车]
我去 不可思议
Dang! That is incredible.
-你说得好准 -我们再试一个
- You were dead-on, Violet. - Let's do another one.
我来猜
Oh, oh, oh, let me do this one!
这人显然被判了死刑
Okay, this guy is clearly on death row,
现在在吃他最后一顿饭
and-and-and he's having his last meal.
他判了死刑怎么会住在公♥寓♥里
How is he on death row in a condo?
也许是软禁死刑
Maybe it's house arrest death row?
到执行死刑的时候他们就会来接他
Like they'll come to get him when it's time to kill him?
我没你这么擅长这个
I'm not as good at this as you are.
韦恩 看看他的腹带
Wayne, look at his mawashi.
他显然是在训练成为相扑手
He is clearly training to be a sumo wrestler.
维奥莱 你太强了
Violet, you are a genius at this.
韦恩 停下
Wayne, stop!
假发 这人显然是伪装大♥师♥
Wigs-- clearly this one is a master of disguise.
亦或者只是一个喜欢玩乐的女人
Or maybe it's just a lady who likes to have fun,
但是不想花太多时间化妆
but doesn't want to spend too much time getting ready.
有意思了
Whoa! Now this is interesting.
是吧 一个居家的珠宝商
Right? A stay-at-home jeweler.
不 他是邦德级别的国际珠宝大盗
No! He's a James Bond-level international jewel thief,
可以悄无声息的进出房♥间
who can slip in and out of a room unnoticed.
不知道他为什么到绿点来了
Don't know why he's slumming it here in Greenpoint.
他一般都在摩纳哥或者圣巴特岛干活
He usually works out of Monaco or St. Barths.
还有 他对贝壳类动物过敏
Also, he's allergic to shellfish.
快走
Go, go, go!
布兰达 你在这做什么
Brenda, what are you doing in here?
没理由出去
There's no reason to come out.
我讨厌去服务
I hate waiting tables.
我来这里的唯一原因就是想和我朋友在一起
The only reason I even come here is to be with my friend,
但她已经不在这工作了
but she doesn't work here anymore.
她被一个冷血心肠
She's been replaced by a straight-haired,
傲慢的直发妓♥女♥
hoity-toity hooker
替代了
with a cold, dead heart.
布兰达 这不公平
Brenda, that's not fair.
我很抱歉放了你鸽子 但我不是妓♥女♥
I'm sorry I had to bail on Slusheritos, but I'm not a hooker.
你为了钱在做你不想做的事
You are doing things you don't want to do for money.
可那是很多钱
But it's a lot of money.
还有 能和
And also, it just feels so good
绿点最优秀的女性在一起感觉很棒
to be in with the crème de la crème of Greenpoint.
就像《辣身舞》里
You know, just like Dirty Dancing
贝比终于被约翰尼·卡索和他的朋友接受
when Baby is finally accepted by Johnny Castle and his friends.
但她们是那个情况里的坏人
But they were the scuzzbags in that situation.
你的类比不恰当
Your analogy doesn't work.
她们中有些人是好人
Some of them are actually kind of nice.
有个女生你肯定会喜欢 她叫克奇
Oh, there's this one girl you would love, her name's Kirkie...
什么 我可不能
What?! I cannot be friends
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