保佑哈特

Bless The Harts S02E04

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2020, 9:42 a.m.

但这些屌♥画确实很不错
but this is some really solid dong work.
谁会这么干的真无礼
Who would do this? So rude.
为什么会有人污损商场的女王
How would anyone deface the queen of the mall?
我不是吹牛我只是说
I mean, I'm not bragging, I'm just saying
对公♥司♥有点尊重
have some respect for the office.
我们今天都体验过了
Well, we've all had an experience here today.
很好玩学到了很多
Great fun, a lot of lessons.
就这么结束吧该走了
Let's call it and head outside
不然会被炸掉或者被假人袭击
before we get blown up or assaulted by a mannequin.
-韦恩我们得找到一张没有屌♥的我的照片 -嗯
- Wayne, we got to find at least one dong-free picture of me. - Yep.
我是来拿我洗劫物品的
And I'm here to get my loot on.
妈你在这里关闭的那周已经洗劫过了
Mother, you already looted this place the week it closed.
是但我还藏了一些我拿不走的东西
Yeah, and I hid some stuff I couldn't carry.
是时候去取回不该属于我的东西了
It's time for me to claim what is wrongfully mine.
维奥莱它在召唤我
Violet, it's calling to me.
有情况
Something's happening.
2000年初期的青少年剧集的角色灵魂
The spirit of early 2000s teen drama characters
影响着我
is washing over me.
《恋爱时代》
Ooh, Dawson's Creek.
《费丽丝蒂》《橘子郡男孩》
Felicity. The O.C.
忧伤抓马
The brooding, the drama,
几乎难以忍♥受的青春期焦虑
the almost unbearable teen angst.
别抗争大卫
Don't fight it, David.
我不是大卫
I'm not David.
我是约书亚·哈奈特·阿奎特
I'm Joshua Hartnett Arquette,
现在是2002年我是Wet Seal[女装品牌]的
and it's 2002, and I'm the assistant manager
副经理我有一个秘密
at Wet Seal... and I have a secret.
我是布兰妮·独树山
And I'm Britney Tree Hill.
我也在Wet Seal工作
I work at Wet Seal, too.
我爸拥有这小镇但他管不了我
My dad owns this town, but he doesn't own me.
天你们是铁了心不想要第三个朋友是吧
Boy, y'all are dead set on not having a third friend, huh?
听着珍妮你的商场朋友一个没来
Listen, Jenny, none of your mall friends showed up for this walk.
可能是因为这是个馊主意
Probably because it's a terrible idea
以及这地方很瘆人
and this place is creepy as hell.
你们也是来参观商场的吗
Are you guys here for the mall walk, too?
是的看韦恩其他人也开始到了
Yes. See, Wayne, other people are starting to come in.
等等这不就是珍妮·哈特
Hold the flip phone. Is that Jenny Hart,
绿点商场的门面吗
the face of the Greenpoint Mall?
-以及她气势逼人的朋友布兰达 -你收回这句话
- And her intimidating friend Brenda? - You take that back.
布兰达放下
Brenda, down!
是的是我
Yes, it is me.
不敢相信你竟然认出了我
I can't believe you recognized me.
虽然到处都是我的脸但还是...
I mean, my face is everywhere, but still...
我当然能认出你
Of course I recognize you.
你认不出我吗
Don't you recognize me?
认得认得
Yeah... yeah...
我记得你你就是
I totally remember you. You're...
-那个女孩 -斯黛西
- ...that girl... - Stacy.
斯黛西说对了
Stacy. Nailed it.
没错我真高兴这里不只有我
That's right. I'm so glad I'm not the only one here.
我爱这家商场
I just love this mall.
我以前在这里工作
You know, I used to work here.
就在那个售货亭里
Right at that kiosk.
我是最后一个关店的人
I was the very last one to close shop.
有段时间这里只有我和斯巴罗餐厅
For a while it was just me and Sbarro,
当他们关门后这里就成了
and when they closed, this place was just
斯黛西商场
Stacy's mall!
你们要想的话我可以给你们的手♥机♥贴亮片
I can bling your phones if you want.
免费贴亮片我怎么会拒绝
Free bling? I'm not saying no to that.
各位我对斯黛西有不好的感觉
Guys, I got a bad feeling about Stacy.
没人觉得这姑娘
No one else is getting a mannequin-come-to-life vibe
像是假人复活吗
from this lady?
韦恩给我详细说说
Okay, Wayne, just walk me through this,
因为我感觉你的理论总是在进化
because I feel your theories are always evolving.
谢谢过问
Thank you for asking.
我的猜想是她是个
My working theory is she's a spirit
在王国之间有着未完成事情的幽灵
with unfinished business caught between realms
霸占了一个假人作为载体
who has commandeered a mannequin as a vessel
把我们引诱过来想要偷走我们的灵魂
for the purpose of luring us here and stealing our souls.
搞定
All done.
这些很时髦
These are off the hizzy.
我喜欢你的低调风格
Oh, I like that you kept it subtle.
看韦恩她人很好
See, Wayne, she's nice.
她是有点古怪
She's a little eccentric, sure,
但她跟我们一样热爱这家商场
but she loves the mall, like us.
看贸鼠[喜欢逛商场的年轻人]
Look. Mall rats.
懂我的梗吗
Get it?
老鼠好恶心
I mean, rats, ew.
我跟它们不是朋友
I'm not friends with them.
走开奈莉和胖乔
Get away, Nelly and Fat Joe.
好吧也许她是有点怪
Okay, maybe she's a little weird,
但是是有趣的那种怪就像比约克一样
but the fun kind of weird, you know, like-like Bjork.
比约克可没有和老鼠称兄道弟
Bjork is not on a first-name basis with rats.
确定吗
Are we sure?
我去车上等
I'll just go wait in the car.
抱歉我男友这么无礼
Sorry for my boyfriend.
有的人不适合逛商场
Some people just aren't cut out for the mall.
是灰尘
Oh, these are dust.
被铁链锁住了有人把我们关在了里面
It's chained shut! Someone locked us in!
我的天
Oh, my God!
假猴子被激活了
The monkey mannequins are activated!
各位我们进来的时候这道门没有锁住
Um, guys, this door was not chained when we walked in.
韦恩也许这是另一道门
Wayne, maybe this is a different door.
不可能这是斯黛西干的
No way. This is Stacy's doing.
如果她有指纹这上面一定会布满
If she had fingerprints, they'd be all over this.
韦恩拜托
Wayne... Come on, man.
-她不是假人 -韦恩
- She's not a mannequin. - Wayne.
-拜托韦恩 -他们不是真的
- Come on. Wayne, come on. - They are not real.
我的天真是抱歉
Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry about that.
戴尔肯定把所有安检门都锁了
Dale must have locked all the security doors
因为他是保安
because he's a security guard.
我打赌这里没有戴尔这个人
I guarantee you there is no Dale.
戴尔好像有些访客被意外锁在了里面
Hey, Dale, I think some visitors accidentally got locked in.
-你能打开北面的门吗 -当然
- Can you open the north doors? - Oh, yeah.
看样子戴尔是真的而且很逗
Hmm, seems like Dale's real. And hilarious.
我地毯戴尔他是不是很有趣
Oh, my God, Dale! Isn't he so funny?
声明下我们在交往
Full disclosure, we are dating.
看吧戴尔要去开门了
There, Dale's on it.
布兰达我们去找一张没有被画上屌♥的我的海报
Brenda, let's go find a non-donged poster of me.
我们能待在一起吗拜托
Uh, y'all, can we stick together, please?
我还没找到我的万圣节服装
Ugh, I still haven't found my Halloween costume.
贝蒂拜托你不能否认那姑娘有点不对劲吧
Betty, come on, you can't deny something's off about that lady.
帮我找到别的出口
Help me find another exit.
行我反正都要走那边
Fine. I'm headed that way anyway.
我得去公用电♥话♥墓地
Got to get over to the payphone graveyard
挖出我藏起来的战利品
to unearth some of my stashed loot.
老天贝蒂你十年前
Good Lord, Betty, what could you have possibly
藏在这里面的什么东西
stored in here ten years ago
在现在能有价值
that would be worth anything now?
我不知道要不你问问
Oh, I don't know, why don't you ask
这个便携式DVD机值多少钱
this portable DVD player how much it's worth.
现在我们只需要找到
Now all we got to do is find where I stashed
我藏起来的点烟器适配器
the cigarette lighter adapter.
这张不错
Oh, here's a good one.
靠近点看你的所有手指头上都有个小惊喜
Look closer. All your fingers got a little surprise on the end.
我去他们是故意的
Oh, come on. They did that on purpose
这样我们不得不靠近去看
so we'd have to get up close.
画屌♥的混♥蛋♥
Penis-drawing butts.
我给你说
I'll tell you one thing.
以前要是有人这样不尊重你休想逃掉
No one would have gotten away with this disrespect back in the day.