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第二次会议是最重要的
The second meeting is the most important one.
快上称吧 来
Now let's hop on that scale. Come on.
莉-安
Hey, Leigh-Ann,
你能给我朋友贝蒂轻轻鼓鼓掌吗
could you just give my friend Betty here a couple of golf claps?
她需要一点鼓励
She just needs a little bit of kudos.
-就一点 -拜托了
- You know, just a kude? - Please?
站到称上面
Well, hop on that scale,
我们来看看数字是否值得鼓励
and let's see if those numbers are kude-worthy.
嗯 看样子长了三磅
Wow, okay. Looks like we're up three pounds,
对于一天来说算是很多了
which is a lot for one day.
莉-安 我昨天在会上一次鼓掌都没得到
Leigh-Ann, I went home last meeting with zero claps,
没有拍我背 也没有一句加油
zero back pats and zero "You go, girls."
你可以说是将我推向了
You basically pushed me right into the comforting arms
一大盘猴子面包
of a kiddie pool-size tray of monkey bread
以及一大桶全脂蛋奶酒
and a rain barrel of full-fat eggnog.
-那不安全 -即使在圣诞夜上也不安全
- That's not safe. - Not even Christmas.
来说好消息
All right, on to better news.
丹妮卡刚减掉了她的第15磅
Danica just lost her 15th pound.
非常棒
Big bravo moment, y'all.
-这有什么 -好逊
- Big whoop. - This blows.
15.3.
我又穿上了生孩子前的卡其裤
And I put my pre-baby khakis back on, y'all.
行了 真是好棒哦
Okay, okay. Bravo, I-I guess.
但我们来谈谈你的裤子
But let's talk about those pants.
那卡其裤太粗
Honey, those khakis are far too thick
根本凸显不出你的阴♥部♥
to get a decent camel toe going.
是啊 丹妮卡 你为什么因为
Yeah, Danica. Why are you so excited
能穿上快递服而激动
about squeezing into a UPS uniform?
男人应该把他们的"东东"呈现给你
Men should be delivering you their package.
你们说得太对了
Y'all are so right.
该我了 该我了[上我]
Oh, do me, do me.
这话在拉里的卧室里可从来听不到 艾利克斯
Things never once heard in Larry's bedroom for 500, Alex.
好了 各位
Okay. O-Okay, everybody.
冷静下 还有谁没称重
Let's calm down. Who hasn't weighed in yet?
称重 我在找出路呢
Weigh in? I'm looking for a way out.
就像拉里的丈夫一样
Just like Larry's husband.
是真的
It's true.
是真的 我们在做婚姻咨♥询♥
It's true. I mean, we're in therapy.
去他妈的减重
Screw dropping pounds.
减肥可没这个爽
Losing weight will never feel as good as this.
韦恩 看看我
Oh, Wayne, look at me.
我是女生 我在晚上经营这家餐厅
I'm a girl, and I'm running this restaurant at night.
我好怕
I'm so scared...
耶稣 你鬼鬼祟祟干什么
Jesus, you snuck up on me.
你脸上敷的是保湿面膜吗
Are you wearing a moisturizing sheet mask?
没有这些要怎么
Well, you don't keep this baby face
保持两千年的娃娃脸
for 2,000 years without a little help.
夜班经理 是吗 你确定你能应付得来
So, night manager, huh? You sure you can handle it?
为什么人人都这么说
Why does everyone keep saying that?
因为夜间出没的人有点可怕
Because night people are a little scary.
记得那首胡迪尼的歌♥吗
Remember that song by Whodini?
奇葩在夜晚出没
♪ The freaks come out at night ♪
奇葩在夜晚出没
♪ The freaks come out at night... ♪
我能应付得了夜间奇葩
I can handle the night freaks.
再说 别忘后台还有本尼
Plus, don't forget Benny's in the back.
本尼 本尼
Benny. Benny.
他在工作
He's working.
好了 夜班现在开始
Okay, well, night hours begin right now.
全天候营业 宝贝
24 hours, my babies.
现在我可以住在这儿了
Now I can basically live here.
不 兰迪 绝对不行 不行
Oh, no, Randy, absolutely not. No, no, no.
你必须是付钱的顾客才行
You got to be a paying customer.
我要一份油炸玉米饼
I'll have one hushpuppy please.
现在我是付了钱的顾客了
And now that I'm a paying customer,
晚安 各位
night, night, everybody.
提醒你们一下 我是睡眠尖叫者
And I should warn you now, I am a sleep screamer.
意思就是我必须尖叫着入睡
Meaning, I have to scream myself to sleep.
先生 这里不能带狗进入
Sir? Uh, we don't allow dogs here.
完美 这是狼
Perfect. This is a wolf.
不好意思 先生
Excuse me, sir?
你不能不♥穿♥衣服就进来
You can't come in here without a shirt.
但能好歹让我把从药店里偷来的药嗑了吗
But can I at least do the drugs I stole from CVS?
不 你必须穿上衣服 不然就得出去
No. You got to put a shirt on, or you are out of here.
给我的T恤打招呼吧
Boom, say hello to my shirt.
先生 你不能在这里骑你的儿童摩托
Sir, sir, you cannot drive your baby motorcycle in here.
这可以上街
It's street legal!
这里不是街道 这是在餐厅内部
This is not a street. This is the inside of a restaurant.
看好了
Watch this.
我的天 我做了什么
Oh, my God, what have I done?
我们在比拼嚎叫 宝贝们
We got us a howl going, babies.
早 给你做了早餐
Morning. Made you some breakfast.
-天 -妈
- Aah! Oh, God! - Mom!
抱歉 韦恩
I'm sorry, Wayne.
抱歉 小维 嗨
Sorry, Vi. Hi.
因为昨晚而烦躁吗
A little on edge from last night?
我 怎么可能
Me? No way.
真固执
So stubborn.
我不固执也不烦躁 我很激动
I'm not stubborn or on edge. I'm amped.
我很激动 我和我新交的酷朋友
Amped up from how much calm fun I had
玩得很开心
with all my new chill friends.
所以昨晚有趣 很酷
So it was fun and chill?
是的 晚上来的顾客
Oh, yeah. Well, the night crowd is actually
非常高雅 酷炫
really sophisticated and cool.
很多读书俱乐部 人们看完艺术电影
Lot of book clubs. People come out of art house movies
进行着哲学的讨论
and having philosophical discussions.
晚上的最后的晚餐
Wow, The Last Supper at night
回到了20年代的巴黎
is like being transported to 1920s Paris.
你胳膊上怎么贴了那么多创口贴
And why do you have a bunch of Band-Aids on your arm?
那个 我就是卷进了
Oh, that? Oh, I just got caught in a little crossfire
两个流氓的争斗
between two rapscallions
一个叫米斯塔·末日一个叫艾迪·马桶
named Mista Apocalypse and Eddie Toilet.
两个夜间常客
Two nighttime regulars,
友好地打斗
just having a friendly little oil fight.
有点像一次高级的决斗 就像《汉密尔顿》
Kind of like a fancy duel. It's like Hamilton, really.
艾迪·马桶的打斗像《汉密尔顿》
Eddie Toilet's oil fight was like Hamilton?
一个随机问题
Totally random question:
你们觉得狼能咬穿这个吗
do you think a wolf could bite through this?
他来了
There he is.
休息得很好 因为我们知道他昨晚没事干
Well rested 'cause we know he wasn't getting busy last night.
真好笑 贝蒂
Good one, Betty.
你的卡其裤呢 妹子
Oh. Where are those khakis, girl?
希望挂在了某个卡车司机的床头柱上
I hope they're hanging on some trucker's bedpost.
你怎么知道的
How'd you know?
我能跟你们俩谈谈吗
Can I have a word with you two?
这个会议无关你们的喜剧
This meeting is not about your comedy,
而是减肥
it's about losing weight.
所以你们能淡定点吗
So could you please just cool it?
-真的很分心 -贝蒂 布兰达
- It's really distracting. - Betty? Brenda?
我们已经把舞台搭好了
We got your stage all set up.
抱歉 莉-安
Well, sorry, Leigh-Ann,
我们得满足人们的愿望
we got to give the people what they want.
我的好姐妹来了 大臀座
There's my girl, Chica Seat.
她为什么叫做大臀座
Why is she called Chica Seat?
因为她当坐下的时候 一边屁♥股♥占一个座位
'Cause when she sits, it's a cheek a seat.
我想我没法等到下次减肥会
I don't think I can wait until the next Pound Pinchers meeting
来获得开怀大笑了
to get another chuckle fix.
一整周 怎么行
A whole week? Uh-uh.
我在那之前就需要好好笑笑
I'm gonna need me some giggles before then.
该把这节目正式做起来了
Time to take this show on the road.
你们有注意到过清醒的人这样走路吗
Y'all ever notice how sober people walk like this?
酒保 我要一杯无聊酒 加冰
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