保佑哈特

Bless The Harts S02E05

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 9:42 a.m.

"Bartender, I'll have a glass of boring on the rocks."
而醉酒的人都这么走路
And drunk people are all walking like this.
我家举办余兴小聚会
After-party's at my house.
车钥匙给我我没事
Give me my car keys. I'm fine.
注意了《茧》的原班演员
Attention, original cast of Cocoon,
是时候玩宾果游戏了
it's time for some bingo.
B4[谐音before] 意思就是我希望有人
B4, as in I hope somebody wins
能在这老太婆死前获胜
before this old biddy kicks the bucket.
她刚死了吗
Did she just die?
宾果
Bingo!
我们太棒了[杀了人]
We killed. Literally.
哥们你在这干什么
Hey, man, what are you doing here?
没什么就是在偷♥窥♥服务员
Uh, nothing. I-I'm just spying on a waitress.
-我也是 -滚怪胎
- Me, too. - Get out of here, freak.
我的天她需要我的帮助
Oh, my Lord, that girl needs my help
无论她是否需要
whether she wants it or not.
好指甲男的五角星需要加盐
Okay. Fingernail Guy needs more salt for his pentagram.
穿睡衣的心烦意乱女想要一份
Distraught Woman Wearing Pajamas wants another order
她被绑♥架♥儿子最爱的薄煎饼
of her kidnapped son's favorite pancakes.
蛋黄酱男想要更多的蛋黄酱
Mayo Guy wants more mayo.
典型的蛋黄酱男
Classic Mayo Guy.
兰迪估计马上要尖叫了三二
And Randy is probably due for another scream in three, two...
我在做清醒梦宝贝
I'm lucid dreaming, baby.
本质是春梦
And it's sexual in nature.
你好没看到你进来
Oh, hi, didn't see you come in.
我想要一份鸡肉三明治
Uh, yeah, I'm just looking to get a chicken sandwich.
或者热狗或者椒盐卷饼
Or maybe a hot dog or street pretzel.
这里是鱼肉餐厅你叫什么先生
This is a fish restaurant. And what's your name, sir?
德怀恩我在这走路
Uh, Dwayne... I'm Walking Here.
你叫德怀恩我在这走路
Your name is "Dwayne I'm Walking Here"?
该死韦恩我能应付得来
Damn it, Wayne. I can handle this.
别再逞强了珍妮你显然需要帮助
Stop trying to be right, Jenny. You clearly need help.
你为了打扮成这样去打了耳洞吗
Did you pierce your ear for this disguise?
没有
No.
天好痛
Oh, God, The pain.
我不需要你的帮助
I don't need your help.
请让我赶走那人
Please let me kick out that guy
我很确定那是OJ.辛普森
who I'm pretty sure is O.J. Simpson.
你在说什么那些是我的人
What are you talking about? These are my people.
艾迪·马桶让我骑下那车
Hey, Eddie Toilet, let me get a ride on that thing.
好的或许晚点吧
Okay, maybe later.
失陪了
Now if you'll excuse me,
我要去接待一个很友好的顾客
I have a very friendly-looking customer to attend to.
一位吗
Table for one?
我需要的不是桌子
Oh, I'm not gonna need a table.
我只需要你的钱
I'm just gonna need all your money.
女士这是持枪抢劫
Okay, lady, this is a holdup.
等等你是叫一个拿枪对着你的人闭嘴吗
Wait. You're shushing a person pointing a gun at you?
懂了我会把钱给你
Okay, all right, I'm gonna get you that money,
但让我先给你解释下情况
but let me tell you what's going on here.
那个男的是我男友
That man over there is my boyfriend,
他觉得我来上夜班
and he thought this was gonna be dangerous
会很危险
for me to take this night job.
我说"什么怎么可能"
And I was like, "What?! No, it's not."
所以如果他发现你在打劫我
So if he finds out you're robbing me,
我就糗大了
I'm gonna be on the business end
他会跟我说"我就说吧"
of a major "I told you so" situation.
我懂的我老公说
Oh, I hear that. My old man told me
我绝不可能一个人实施抢劫
I was never gonna be able to do a stick-up on my own,
我这不就来了
and here I am.
他现在在哪呢在烧伤病房♥
And where is he? In the burn unit,
做植皮手术因为我往他头上
getting skin grafts 'cause I poured a pot
倒了一锅热砂砾
of hot grits on his head. Boom.
好吧所以你能理解
Okay, so you... get it.
好我会配合你
All right, I'll play along,
但是你一旦乱来你就会成为蠕虫的食物[尸体]
but one wrong move, and you're worm food.
实际上蠕虫食物就是那个站在米斯塔·末日
Actually, Worm Food is the one standing over there
旁边的人
with Mista Apocalypse.
你好我懂你意思
Hi! But, yeah, uh, point taken.
你们好吗
How y'all doing?
很好你们呢
Good! How y'all doing?
我告诉你亲爱的
Well, I'll tell ya, honey.
我性感可口我可以在30分钟内
I'm hot, delicious, and I can get there
到达那里
in 30 minutes or less.
布兰达披萨我终于完善了我的小吃理论
Brenda Pizza, I finally perfected my theory of snack-a-tivity.
是什么帕斯塔雷利教授
Oh, what's that, Dr. Pastarelli?
E=MC披萨
E equals me see pizza!
下次见
See you next time.
女士们我不想再见到你们
Ladies, I never want to see you again.
我跟绿点市政♥府♥的人谈过了
And I've spoken to the City of Greenpoint,
你们禁止在这栋楼里参加任何会议
and you are banned from every meeting in this building.
-什么 -为什么
- What? - Why?
这些是自助会议不是喜剧俱乐部
These are self-help meetings, not comedy clubs.
坦白说你们的笑话
And frankly, your jokes are better
在即兴表演的时候更好笑
when they were a little more off-the-cuff.
-什么 -你们的表演一团糟
- Excuse me? - Your act is all over the place.
我就直说了你是一块巨大的披萨
Let me get this straight: you're a giant piece of pizza,
而你打扮成爱因斯坦
and you're dressed like Albert Einstein,
但你称自己为帕斯塔雷利教授
but you're calling yourself Dr. Pastarelli?
你们的点子太多了
You-you've got too many ideas going on here.
-我就说吧 -请出去
- I told you! - Just, please, get out.
这是你的炸鱼薯条
Here are your fish and chips
配上羽衣甘蓝
with a side of collard greens.
马桶先生她有枪
Psst! Mr. Toilet, she's got a gun.
-我靠 -你去叫其他人
- Oh, snap. - You gather the others,
我数三声我们去撵走她
and on three, we'll bum-rush her.
交给马桶
Toilet's on it.
一二
One, two...
大家都坐到马桶上来
Everybody on the Toilet!
不
No!
我受够了这游戏了
I'm tired of this game.
这是抢劫
This is a robbery!
我懂不过没什么
Okay, yes, it is, but it's not a big deal
我在应付呢
'cause I am handling it!
不管是什么我需要你钱包里的东西
Whatever it is, I'm gonna need what's in your wallets.
还有那对耳环
And those earrings, too.
你是想掩盖抢劫吗
Were you seriously trying to hide a robbery
就为了避免承认错误
just to avoid being wrong?
我只想保护你的安全
I just wanted to keep you safe!
大男人救星
Oh, big male savior.
他就是那种人跟我前任一样
Ugh. He's one of those types. Just like my ex.
我是认真的贝弗利他根本控制不住
I'm serious, Beverly. He is nonstop.
好可爱
These are so cute.
-你在哪买♥♥的 -猜猜看
- Where'd you get these? - Guess.
别跟她搞好关系她在抢劫你
Don't bond with her! She's robbing you!
我想跟谁搞好关系就跟谁开市客
I'll bond with whoever I want to. Costco.
不是吧他们现在还卖♥♥珠宝
Shut the fudge. They got jewelry now?
我接下来就去抢他们我给你也偷点
I'm gonna have to rob them next. I'll steal something for ya.
贝芙你太好了
Oh, Bev, that is so sweet.
珍妮别跟她闲聊了
Jenny, stop bonding with her.
就是因为这个我们才陷入这麻烦的
It's what got us into this mess.
这麻烦即将变得更棘手
Well, it's about to get a whole lot messier.
把枪捡起来
Grab the gun!
等等兰迪
Hang on, Randy.
我不想被指控为男人救星
I don't want to be accused of "man-saving."
珍妮要不你去捡吧
Jenny, maybe you should pick up the gun.
用我的女生胳膊
With these girl arms?
珍妮你就承认我是对的吧
Jenny, just admit that I was right
这工作很危险
about this job being dangerous.
你先承认你总是对我指指点点
Not until you admit you backseat-drive me all the time.
你为什么这么固执