保佑哈特

Bless The Harts S02E13

Part 1 March 16, 2021, 10:44 a.m.

珍妮·哈特
Jenny Hart,
欢迎来到你的约会之夜各种食物应有尽有
welcome to your date night with all the fixin's.
我在冰柜里放了玫瑰葡萄酒
And I put the rosé in the freezer.
韦恩这是完美的饮料
Oh, Wayne! It's a perfect slush.
夫人
Madame.
暂停亲热妈妈回家了
Hit pause on the humpin'. Mama's home.
-什么 -妈你不是在打桥牌吗
- Oh, what? - Mother, I thought you were playing bridge.
我跟诺曼
I had a falling out with Norma
就怎样去默特尔比奇最方便吵了一架
about what's the best way to get to Myrtle Beach,
而其他那些废柴站到了她那边
and the rest of those losers took her side.
恐怕也影响到了我的《圣经》学习小组
And I'm afraid it's spilled over into my Bible study
和绗缝小组
and my quilting group.
还以为我们终于能过一个二人之夜
Thought we finally had a night alone.
天她在经历"大清除"
Oh, my Lord. She's going through The Purge.
-什么 -每隔几年就会来一次
- The what? - It happens every few years.
她会像烧蝗虫一样
She just burns through an entire swath of friends
绝交大批朋友
like a horde of locusts.
那是《托斯卡尼艳阳下》吗
Ooh, is that Under the Tuscan Sun?
我认识她我认识她
Oh, I know her. I know her.
这人觉得她很性感
This one thinks she's hot stuff.
看看那尤物
Would you look at that smokeshow.
我喜欢意大利人
I love me an Italiano.
俗话说浓密的眉毛浓密的...
You know what they say-- bushy eyebrows, bushy...
她嫁给了谁来着
Who was she married to again?
看是《实习医生格蕾》她叫什么
Oh, look. It's Grey's Anatomy. What's her name?
珊卓·吴
Sandra Oh.
珊卓什么
Sandra O'what?
就叫珊卓·吴口天吴
It's Sandra Oh. O-H.
这会是个漫长的约会之夜
Gonna be a long date night.
嘘我听不到珊卓·口天了
Hush. I can't hear Sandra O.H.
她在说托斯卡纳发生了什么
She's talking about what's going on in Tuscan.
保佑哈特
第二季第十三集
我的天她破坏了我们的约会之夜
Oh, my God, she is crapping on our date night.
我们要怎么做才能让她离开一会儿
What do we have to do to get her out and about a little bit?
我知道让她被逮捕关起来
Oh, I know-- let's get her arrested and thrown in jail.
嗯不能被保释的那种比如恐♥怖♥主♥义♥未遂
Yeah. Something with no bail. Like attempted terrorism?
虽然有点难但她在家里对我们实施恐怖统治
It's kind of a stretch, but she is terrorizing us on a household scale.
我们可以试着把她送进精神病院
We can try to get her thrown into the looney bin,
但她只会让他们精疲力尽
but she'd just wear 'em down.
她不能去找个工作吗
Can't she just go get a job?
我妈找工作不是个坏主意
Hmm, Mother getting a job is not a bad idea.
但我们不能告诉她是因为我们需要空间
But we can't tell her it's 'cause we need space,
不然她会觉得被侮辱让我们的生活
or else she'll get insulted and make our lives
更加痛不欲生
even more of a living hell.
你们能帮帮我吗
Hey, can y'all help me?
一个煮熟的鸡蛋
I dropped a hard-boiled egg
掉到了家具下面我找不到了
under the furniture, and I cannot find it.
-我能喝你的欧洽塔吗 -嗯
- Can I have your horchata? - Yeah.
-我能吃你的饼干吗 -嗯
- Can I have your Golden Rounds? - Yeah.
我们每天都这么交换我们要不要让我们家长
We make this trade every day. Should we just tell our parents
给我们不同的零食
to get us different snacks?
-不我喜欢交换的仪式 -我也是
- No, I like the ritual. - Me, too.
叮叮死吧神父
Zing, zing! Die, Father!
-这里是真人继续转 -转转好了
- Oh! Real people here! Uh, keep turning. - Turn, turn. Okay.
-直走注意栏杆 -注意栏杆
- Now go straight. Watch the railing. - Ooh, watch the railing.
学校里有好多愚蠢的派系
There are so many stupid cliques at this school.
网络极客
The cyber geeks.
史莱姆头颅
Slime heads.
网红模仿者
Wannabe influencers.
太可悲了我们学校最酷的团体竟然是我们
It's pathetic that the coolest group in the school-- us--
没有影响力更大的团体了
doesn't have a bigger presence.
我们算是团体吗
Hmm, can you really call us a group?
一个团体至少应该有三个人吧
A group's at least three people, right?
如果我们再去找个朋友呢
Well, what if we got a third friend?
什么不只有我们俩一直以来都只有我们俩
What? No. It's just us two, and it's always been us two.
不我说的不是跟我们平等的人大卫
No, I'm not talking about someone equal to us, David.
我说的是一个比我们地位稍低的人
I'm talking about a third who is on a slightly lower tier.
我喜欢这主意
Okay, now I'm feeling this.
一个算是我们团体但又不完全是的人
Someone who's sort of in but not fully in,
所以我们可以压榨他们绝望的能量
so we can feed off their desperate energy?
这群无名氏中有个人
One of these lucky nobodies is about to be
将会摆脱默默无闻了
plucked from obscurity.
珍妮猜猜快递小哥刚给我送来了什么
Jenny! Guess what the hot-ass UPS guy just brought me?
我的拍榨机
My Slap Chops!
她好像已经三天没有出过门了
Ugh, I don't think she's left this house in three days.
我们得让她出去
Look, we got to get her the hell out of here,
但我们得让她觉得找工作是她的主意
but we got to make her think getting a job was her idea.
我不太擅长玩心理游戏
Uh, I'm not good at playing mind games.
没事的跟着我就是
It'll be fine. Just follow my lead.
你们想试试吗
Y'all want to try?
不不行我没空
No, I can't. Ugh, I don't have time.
要准备去上班了
Just gearing up to go to my job.
出门有个目的太有趣了
It's so fun to get out of the house, have a purpose.
而不是伤心地在家里自怨自艾
Not just moping around here, sad and empty inside.
是的谢天谢地我有工作对吧韦恩
Yep, thank God for my job. Right, Wayne?
没错工作是唯一
Absolutely. Having a job is the only thing
阻止我把枪放在嘴里
that keeps me from putting a gun in my mouth,
扣动扳机爆掉自己头的事
pulling the trigger and blowing my head off.
我就说吧这不是我擅长的事
I told you, this is not my area.
我知道你们在干什么了
Oh, I see what's happening.
你们想对我使用反常[逆反]心理战术
Y'all are trying to do perverse psychology on me right now.
妈我们认为你该找份工作
Mother, we think you should get a job.
这会让你有一个能集中精力的事
It'll give you something to focus on.
赚点零花钱
Earn a little pocket money.
不要我很早前就放弃工作了
Oh, hell no. I gave up working a long time ago.
等等你曾有份工作
Wait, you had a job?
多份工作是复数笨蛋
Jobs. Plural, fool.
我对上班女孩的生活方式并不陌生
I'm no stranger to the working girl lifestyle.
我做过秘书
I worked as a secretary.
你想要我记下备忘录吗斯戴森先生
Do you want me to take a memo, Mr. Stetson?
不但我想要上妈妈
No, but I'd like to take a mammo.
在霍比罗比超♥市♥给副经理做助手
An assistant to the assistant manager at Hobby Lobby.
贝蒂我从没制♥作♥过任何东西
You know, Betty, I-I never crafted jack squat.
我是来见你的
I come here to see you.
以及在米斯特医生工厂里打工
And a line worker at the Dr. Mister factory.
知道吗我喜欢挣饭吃
You know what? I like earning my keep,
我也喜欢到外面的世界闯荡
and I like being out in the world.
各办公室间的闲混最棒了
And you cannot beat the inter-office dalliances.
谢天谢地我昨晚花了很久时间
Thank the Lord I spent the bulk of last evening
修剪了我的下面
Edward Scissorhands-ing my bathing suit area.
我要去金考快印准备我的简历了
Now I'm going out to Kinko's to work on my resume.
你觉得她需要多久发现
How long do you think it'll take her to find out
金考快印已经不复存在了
there's no more Kinko's?
希望她会开车整整两天
I hope she drives around for two solid days.
房♥子属于我们了房♥子属于我们了
We got the house back, we got the house back.
我们的新朋友面试传♥单♥
Our new friend audition flyer
也许是我们有史以来最棒的作品
might be the best thing we've ever done.
毫无疑问我们再来读一遍
A hundred thousand percent. Let's read it one more time.
现在是1975年6月
"It's June 1975.
你站在CBGB酒吧外
"You're standing outside CBGB.
大卫·伯恩走到你面前对你说
"David Byrne comes up to you and says,
我在给传声头像乐队物色第四个成员
"'I'm looking for a fourth Talking Head.'
这次的机遇就相当于那次
"That is the scale of this opportunity.
你准备好加入我们了吗
Are you ready to be one of us?"
城里最高级的俱乐部招人
An opening in the most exclusive club in town?
当大伙知道后他们一定会蜂拥而至的
When the masses find out, it's gonna be a human stampede.
也许我们应该再等等
Maybe we need to give it a little more time.
嘿我是帕克[占坑者]
Um, hey, I'm Parker.
面试是不是已经完了
Am I too late for the audition?
你叫帕克
Okay, so your name is Parker.