美式主妇

American Housewife S05E09

Part 1 March 23, 2021, 10:39 a.m.

美式主妇
第五季第九集
我刚从打印店拿到了我的竞选海报
I got my campaign posters back from the printer.
你觉得怎么样
Tell me what you think.
格雷格·奥图正直
"Greg Otto: Integrity."
宝贝我喜欢这个
Babe, I love it!
孩子们给你看他们的美术作业时
That's the same voice you use
你也是这种语气
when the kids show you their art projects.
好吧我不喜欢这个口号♥
Fine. I don't like the slogan.
正直怎么了
What's wrong with "Integrity"?
对于某些不正直的人来说
As someone without integrity,
这像是人身攻击
it feels like an attack.
再说这很无聊
Plus, it's boring.
口号♥需要夺人眼球
The slogan needs to be catchy,
就像让西港再次格雷格[与伟大谐音]
like "Make Westport Greg Again!"
我怎么能让西港更格雷格
How can I make Westport more Greg?
而且"再次"这个词意味着
And the word "Again" Implies that the town
这城市曾经格雷格但现在不是了
was once Greg and now it's not.
你真的很扫兴
You took the fun out of this real fast.
我还是坚持用正直
I'm sticking with integrity.
正因为我的对手缺乏这个所以这很完美
It's the perfect slogan because my opponents have none.
阿布林校长竞选只是为了权力
Principal Ablin's only in it for power,
而史蒂夫·霍巴特就是个肮脏的政客
and Steve Hobert's a dirty politician
他推行政策只是为了从中获利
who only pushes policies in exchange for favors.
就是这样格雷格
That's the gig, Greg.
如果你想当政客
If you want to be a politician,
你就得弄脏双手
you got to get your hands dirty.
不可能
Not gonna happen.
我绝对不会碰那些事因为我
My hands will stay clean because I have...
格雷格·奥图正直
你是个好人
You're a good person.
我们知道了
We get it.
泰勒提个醒我今天不准备洗衣服
Taylor, heads up -- I'm not doing laundry today.
所以如果你需要内♥裤♥
So, if you need underwear,
把你♥爸♥公共广播电台的帆布袋剪两个洞
cut two holes in one of your dad's NPR totes.
妈你真让我丢人
Mom, you're so embarrassing.
我正在和乔希们视频
I'm on with the Joshes.
-嘿奥图夫人 -嗨奥图夫人
- Hey, Mrs. Otto. - Hi, Mrs. Otto.
凯蒂我的女士
Katie. My lady.
嘿乔希
Hey, Josh.
嗨乔希
Hi, Josh.
你好乔希
Hello. Josh.
你为什么还跟这三个蠢货一起玩
What are you doing still hanging out with these idiots?
妈妈他们能听见
Mom, they can hear you.
宝贝没关系
Sweetie, it's okay.
他们有自知之明
They know they're idiots.
奥图夫人你该跟我们一起来"大发雷霆"
Mrs. Otto, you should come with us to Blow A Gasket.
是个很酷的发泄室
It's this cool rage-room
你能给钱去砸老旧的电器
where you can pay to smash old electronics.
自从见识了你有多易怒之后
And we think it'd be healthy for you,
我们觉得这有助于你的身心健康
seeing how you're so filled with rage.
这不是愤怒是仇恨
It's not rage. It's hate.
愤怒易逝
Rage is fleeting.
但愤仇恨永存
Hate is forever.
-但是凯蒂 -妈妈
- But, Katie... - Mom,
别再恐吓我的朋友了
stop intimidating my friends!
乔希们会带坏你
The Joshes are a bad influence.
你已经在读大学了
You're in college now.
你需要结交一些更高品质的人
You need to find higher-quality people.
你说得对我都大学了
You're right. I am in college,
你不能再命令我该跟哪些人一起玩了
which means you can't tell me who to hang out with anymore.
她竟然就这样走掉了
She just walked away from me.
你敢信吗
Can you believe her?
你真的用我的帆布袋当内♥裤♥了吗
Are you really using my totes for underwear?
等我今晚脱掉衣服后你就知道了
Watch me undress tonight and you'll have your answer.
有个叫杰西卡·范·霍特的人
Somebody named Jessica Van Hought was arrested
因为偷牙刷被捕了
for shoplifting a toothbrush.
多丢人啊
How embarrassing.
公开羞辱
Ooh, public shaming.
我喜欢这个
I love it.
我搬到西港来就是为了这个
This is why I moved to Westport.
顺便也是为了工作
And because of my job.
事实上只是为了工作
Actually, it was really only my job,
但这真有意思
but this is fun.
杰西卡很有钱
Jessica is loaded.
她为什么要从商店顺东西
Why would she shoplift?
为了刺♥激♥
For the thrill.
我也经常从这儿偷走银餐具
And that's why I steal the silverware here
然后回家丢掉
and throw it away when I get home.
好吧我有些真正的大新闻
Well, I have some actual big news.
我快要选出卵子捐献人了
I'm close to picking an egg donor!
只剩下两个候选人
I'm down to two candidates.
真是令人激动
This is so exciting.
这两个捐献人都聪明健康
Both my donors are smart, healthy,
还会弹奏乐器这就成了个平局
and play musical instruments, so it's a tie.
我想要我的孩子在三岁的时候
I want my kid playing Britney Spears' "Toxic"
就能用三角钢琴弹布兰妮·斯皮尔斯的《毒药》
on a baby grand by the time they're three.
据我所知音乐天赋没法由基因决定
Well, in my experience, musical talent is not genetic.
我的孩子就不擅长唱歌♥ 但我明显
I mean, my kids can't sing, but I sure --
♪可以♪
♪ Ca-a-a-a-an ♪
下次给我提个醒
Well, next time, give me a heads up
我要跟你和声
and I'm gonna come in with the harmony.
我要去生育诊所
I'm going to the fertility clinic
看看他们有没有更多的信息
to see if they have any more information,
而且我想要你们一起来帮我做下决定
and I want you guys to come with to help me decide.
我来
I'm in.
我们会帮你挑出一个好看的婴儿来
We got to pick you out a good-looking baby
这样我就不用说一些含糊的赞美了
so that I don't have to give vague compliments
比如这个衣服真好看
like, "Oh, what a darling outfit,"
或者快看看她
or "Wow, just look at her."
我也来
I'm in, too.
如果我能有机会选择格蕾丝的基因
If I could have had control over Grace's genetics,
我会确保过滤掉她
I would make sure she didn't get
把我所有口红放进马桶里的基因
the "Dip all my lipsticks in the toilet" Gene.
我就知道可以指望你们
I knew I could count on you guys.
我们是最棒的小团体
This is the best squad ever.
我希望泰勒也能像我们这样
Aww. I wish Taylor had a group like this.
她所有的朋友都去上大学了
All of her friends went off to college,
现在她只能跟乔希们玩了
and now she is left with The Joshes.
乔希们
Uh, The Joshes? Mm-hmm.
他们棒极了
They're great.
乔希的后院有长曲棍球网
Josh has a lacrosse net in his yard.
他说我随时都能用
He said I can use it at any time.
虽然我还没用过但是
I mean, I haven't yet, but again,
肯定随时都能用
totally can at any time.
我需要把叉子
I need a fork.
所以大家对于风扇的位置满意吗
So, is everyone happy with the fan placement?
我选择用间接风
I went with an indirect wind
而不是把风扇直接对着你们吹
as opposed to the fans on you guys.
这是个理查德·布兰森教我的老把戏
It's an old trick Richard Branson taught me.
你们俩要帮忙吗
Do either of you need any help?
不用了谢谢我已经搞定了这个商业计划
No, thanks. Uh, I've got this business plan under control.
没人能碰我的代码
And nobody touches my code.
好吧
Okay, then.
我能做什么
What can I do?
什么都做不了
Nothing.
因为你很没用
Because you're useless.
捍卫我的荣誉
Defend my honor.
这不是真的
That is not true.
库珀在起步阶段对我们帮助很大
Cooper brings tons of value to our start-up.
比如
Like what?