美式主妇

American Housewife S05E02

Part 2 March 23, 2021, 10:36 a.m.

I wanted to run some new theme song ideas by you
一些新主题曲的想法
for my podcast.
♪与富兰克林一起富兰克♪
♪ Getting Frank with Franklin ♪
或者
Or...
♪与富-富-富-富兰克林一起富兰克♪
♪ Getting Frank with F-F-F-F-Franklin ♪
怎么了
What's wrong?
我棒到让你说不出话了吗
Did I amaze you into silence?
你是我唯一的客人和收听者
You're my only guest and my only listener,
所以反馈对我很重要
so it's important I get some feedback.
当我妈向我脸上喷水时
Look, when my mom sprayed me in the face,
你除了笑什么也没做
all you did was laugh at me.
你是我男朋友
You're my boyfriend,
你本该挺我的但是...
and you're supposed to have my back, but...
现在当我看到那些可爱的小雀斑
now when I look at those gorgeous freckles,
我只有失望
all I see is disappointment.
我不知道啊宝贝我可以改
I didn't know, baby! I can change!
特雷弗
Hey, Trevor.
我觉得礼物这个想法超赞
I think Gyftee's a great idea.
你们喜欢它
The fact that you guys like it
反而让我没那么喜欢了
makes me like it a little bit less,
所以我要离你们这些蠢货远一点
so I'm gonna get away from your stupid faces.
泰勒在上心理课程
Taylor is taking this psych class,
现在她在分♥析♥我
and now she's analyzing me.
她觉得我有控制欲
She thinks I'm controlling
是因为现在我没有自己的生活
because I now have no life of my own.
听起来有道理
That sounds about right.
拜托
Come on!
我知道你在度假
I know you're on vacation with --
天啊他叫什么来着
Oh, God. What's his name, again?
你可以像我一样称呼他
Oh. Well, you can just call him what I call him --
我园丁的儿子
son of my gardener.
你越快帮我解决完我的问题
The sooner you help me with my problem,
你越快能回到他的身边
the sooner you can get back to him.
你为什么不问安吉拉这个问题
Well, why aren't you bothering Angela with this?
她还在出差
She's still on that business trip
并且声称她信♥号♥♥不好
and claims that she has bad reception.
巴尔的摩有多少隧♥道♥啊
How many tunnels are in Baltimore?
好吧
Okay.
安吉拉会说一些这样的废话
Angela would say some crap about,
比如把你的能量释放到一些不是你孩子的人身上
channeling your energy into someone who's not your kid.
当她说这些的时候
And while she was talking,
我会悄悄地大吃特吃她的沙拉
I would then secretly take a bite out of her salad.
把我的能量释放到其他人身上
Channel my energy into someone else?
我可以这么做
I can do that.
你确定带你园丁22岁的儿子去夏威夷
Are you sure taking your gardener's 22-year-old son
对你的感情来说是健康的吗
to Hawaii is emotionally healthy for you?
不不不
Oh, no, no, no!
别把你的能量释放到我身上
Don't channel your energy into me!
感情上不健康是我最健康的特性
Being emotionally unhealthy is my healthiest trait!
没错绝对是这条领带
Yup. This is definitely the power tie.
实际上这是开司米山羊耳朵上的毛做的
It's actually made from the ears of cashmere goats.
马尔代夫没有任何规则
The Maldives have no rules.
我得到这个实习之后
After I get this internship,
哈佛会求着我去上学
Harvard will be begging to take me.
等我毕业之后
And then after I graduate,
我所有的衣服都会是羊耳朵的毛做的
all my clothes will be goat ears.
别担心各位我来收拾
Don't worry, guys. I'll get it.
看啊奥图夫人我在做家务
Look, Mrs. Otto! I'm doing a chore!
不
No!
应该是反过来挂像瀑布一样落下
It should hang over the top and waterfall down.
瀑布往下落
Waterfalls go down.
这孩子那么激动你就是忍♥不住
The kid was so excited. You just couldn't help yourself.
好吧我什么也不说了
Fine! I won't say another word.
我绝对不会告诉特里普
I certainly won't tell Trip
如果他想打开那个罐子
that if he wants to open that jar,
他得往左边拧
he has to turn it to the left.
天啊
Oh, man.
我也想过这个方向
I thought about going that direction, too.
作为高等教育界的一员
My clinical recommendation
我的临床建议是
as a member of the higher-education community
别再烦我们的男朋友了
is to stop bothering our boyfriends --
他不是我男朋友
Not my boyfriend.
把重点放在其他人身上
and focus on anyone else.
老爸
Dad!
去搞他他爱上了一片草地
Go after him. He's in love with a meadow.
并且他完全不知道该怎么办
And he has no idea what to do about it.
什么草地
What meadow?
我恨你们
I hate you guys.
实际上是块有历史意义的牧场
It's actually an historic field,
我要给市政厅写信
and I'm gonna write a letter to the City Council
避免它被商用
to try to save it from becoming a retail space.
你不会写什么蠢信的
You're not writing a dumb letter.
你要直接去市政厅讲话
You are going to address the City Council directly,
我会帮你的
and I'm going to help you.
我应该不需要你的帮助
I'm not sure I need your help.
准备好因为你会得到帮助的
Well, buckle up, 'cause you're getting it.
我要给市政厅打电♥话♥ 让你加入
I'm gonna call the City Council and get you signed up.
同时我们要修理下你的鬓角
And while we're at it, we're gonna trim those sideburns.
也得修理下你的鼻毛
And we're gonna get up in there, as well.
你想对我练习一下你的讲话吗
You want to practice your speech for me?
不了谢谢
No, thanks.
来吧
Come on!
市政厅会议是明天
The City Council meeting is tomorrow.
我是个很好的倾听者
I'm a very good listener.
开始
Begin.
好吧
Okay.
-亲爱的议员 -亲爱的
- Dear councilmem-- - Dear?!
怎么你在给你祖母写夏令营的事吗
What, are you writing your grandma from summer camp?
对这些人你得强硬起来
You got to be stern with these people.
我注意到
It has come to my attention
城市规划委员会已允许...
that the zoning commission has allowed constr--
现在说点脏话
Now drop a really bad F-bomb.
为什么
Why?
脏话会引起他们的注意
Bad language gets their attention.
让他们知道你坚定且自信
It lets them know that you are assertive and confident.
能起码让我说完第一句话吗
Can I at least get through the first sentence?!
你看
See?
现在你引起我的注意了
Now you got my attention!
我还有点欲♥火♥焚身
And I'm a little turned on.
奥利弗·奥图
Oliver Otto!
谢谢您抽出时间来见我
Thanks for making the time to see me.
这是我的简历
Here's my résumé.
整整两页
Wow! Two pages!
没错
I know.
我从哪儿说起呢对吧
When do I start, right?
你不准备看看吗
Aren't you gonna read it?
不需要
Don't need to.
让我猜猜
Let me guess --
你学了非♥典♥型的运动来让你突出
you did a sport that's not typical so you'd stand out?
比如体操或者马球
Like gymnastics or polo?
芭蕾
Ballet.
还做了社会服务
And did community service
让你看起来是个敏感的人
to seem like a sensitive person?
青少年求助热♥线♥
Teen Help Line.
这份实习是为了搞定耶鲁吗
And this internship was supposed to seal the deal for... Yale?
哈佛
Harvard.
十年前你的计划也许还有用
Well, 10 years ago, your plan might have worked.
现在大家都这么做
Now everyone does the same thing.
你这样的比比皆是
You're a dime a dozen.
你身上没有任何特殊的地方
There's nothing exceptional about you.
用这份简历