美式主妇

American Housewife S05E03

Part 3 March 23, 2021, 10:37 a.m.

不然就会和她疏远
or we're gonna push her away.
所以我们允许他们在家里搞乱七八糟的
So, we're okay with them getting freaky in the house?
不我当然不允许
No, I'm not okay with it!
我的本能是收集齐六块无限宝石
My instinct is to collect all six Infinity Stones
打个响指让特里普消失
and Thanos-snap Trip out of existence.
这是你的计划
That's your plan?
这是有史以来最卖♥♥座的电影格雷格
It's the highest-grossing film of all time, Greg!
不幸的是如果我们不支持她
But unfortunately, if we don't get onboard,
我们就见不到孙子孙女了
we're not gonna see our grandchildren.
那我们也不管安娜凯特和富兰克林亲亲了吗
And we're good with Anna-Kat and Franklin kissing?
你疯了吗当然不行
Are you crazy? Of course not!
我跟不上了
I can't keep track!
谁能呢
Who can?!
一旦你了解了你的孩子
As soon as you get the hang of your kids
搞清楚他们怎么回事
and figure out how they work,
他们就会变
they change on you
就像毛毛虫变成该死的蝴蝶
like a caterpillar turning into a damn butterfly.
-你讨厌蝴蝶 -我讨厌所有会变的东西格雷格
- You hate butterflies? - I hate anything that changes, Greg.
你们好
Hi, guys.
能把门还给我吗
Can I have my door back?
当然
Of course.
我们意识到你们成年了
We realized that you are adults,
而如果你们想做...
and if you're going to do...
成年活动
Adult activities.
比如税金吗
Like taxes?
他指的不是那个
That's not what he means.
我们对此无所谓
We're okay with it.
在我们的屋檐下
Under our roof.
你听到我刚说了什么吗
Did you hear what I just said?
听到了我只是在等
Yeah, yeah, I'm just waiting for the part
你变身大吼"疯子"
where you turn it, yell, "Psych!"
然后没收我的手♥机♥
and then take away my phone.
有什么目的
What's the catch?
没什么
No catch.
你说得对
You were right.
你现在上大学了
You're in college now.
而在大学人们会让她们的男朋友留宿
And in college, people do have their boyfriends sleep over.
我是认真的
I'm serious.
所以咱们之间没问题了吗 A先生
So, you and me are okay again, Mr. A?
当然
Yes.
如果有人要和我女儿做快乐的事
If someone is gonna pleasure with my daughter,
我宁愿是你
it would be my pleasure if it was you.
拿下她兄弟
Go get her, pal.
开始吧
Have at it.
如果你想离开并且再也不回来我理解
If you would like to leave and never come back, I understand.
该我了
My turn.
能把门还给我吗
Can I have my door back?
你该庆幸我还留着墙没拆
You are lucky that we're leaving the walls!
我不明白
I don't understand.
我们为什么不能在一起
Why can't we be together?
是因为我睡觉乱踢腿吗
Is it because of my sleep kicking?
我已经不那样了
I don't do that anymore.
我让安娜凯特用弹力绳绑住我的腿了
I have Anna-Kat tie my legs down with bungee cords.
当然有火灾隐患
Sure, it's a fire hazard,
但真正的危险是睡不够八小时
but the real danger is not getting your eight hours.
不
No.
是因为亲吻
It's because of the kissing.
什么亲吻
What kissing?
别装了
Come on, guys.
单核细胞增多症是由亲吻传播的疾病
Mono is a disease that's passed along by kissing.
你们开始成熟
You are starting to mature.
而且...
And...
格雷格
Greg?
你的身体有了变化而且...
Your body's changing, and, uh...
凯蒂
Katie?
而且你开始成长
And you start to grow...
停
Stop!
赶快停下
Stop this right now!
我们没有亲过
We haven't been kissing.
你们俩有什么问题
What is wrong with you two?
我们还是孩子
We are children.
如果非要说也许是因为
If anything, we passed it by sharing
我们共用了老爸逼我们用的金属吸管
that metal straw that Dad made us use.
现在如果你们俩让我们也让你们俩
Now, if you two are done embarrassing us,
尴尬完了
and yourselves,
我们要回我的房♥间
we are going back up to my room
思考你们试图从我们身上偷走的童真
to contemplate the youth that you tried to steal from us.
这种事她做也就算了连你也这样
I expected this sort of thing from her, but you?
天啊男人
Good God, man!
好了
Alright.
开始吧
Here we go.
《甲板之下》
"Below Deck."
《甲板之下》
第八季第二集
重新观看
为什么说"重新观看"
Why does it say "Watch again"?
你没带我自己看了吗
Did you watch this without me?
是的我看了
Yes. I did.
我不能因为你而暂停我的人生
I can't put my life on pause because of you.
这是部剧
It's a show.
你完全可以暂停它有个专门的按键
You can literally pause it. There's a button.
你这周几乎每晚都和特雷弗出去
You've been out with Trevor almost every night this week.
我和特雷弗一起是为了工作
The time I'm spending with Trevor is work
好让我被哈佛录取
so I can get accepted to Harvard
而你可以靠捐栋楼换哈佛的入场券
and you can donate a building and buy your way in.
我这么做是为了我们俩
I'm doing this for us!
是吗可感觉不像
Yeah, well, it doesn't feel like it!
你简直疯了
You're acting crazy.
你知道这是我最讨厌的词
You know that's my trigger word.
这俩怎么了
What's with those two?
奥利弗最好别搞黄了
Oliver better not blow it.
娶点钱对这个孩子有好处
It'd be good for that kid to marry some money.
这是什么
What's this?
向你证明我们没什么目的
To prove to you that there's no catch
以及我们支持你们的成人决定
and that we are supportive of your adult decisions,
这里有你们需要的所有东西
here's everything that the two of you need
能让你们俩在自己的房♥间度过一个浪漫的夜晚
for a romantic night in your own room.
邦乔维乐队
Bon Jovi.
我没有能播放这个的
I don't have anything to play this on.
里边没有盘
Oh, there's no CD.
你们看看封面
Just take a look at the cover for a while,
就没问题了
and you're good to go.
这盘《三个奶爸一个娃》的录影带同理
The same with this VHS of "Three Men and a Baby."
连古登伯格都正中红心了
Even Guttenberg was bringing the heat.
还有一个茉莉香薰蜡烛
And a jasmine-scented candle
因为我们知道特里普有多喜欢《阿♥拉♥丁》
because we know how much Trip likes "Aladdin."
我确实很喜欢
I really do.
好了我们明白了多谢
Okay, we get it. Thanks.
这是做什么的
What does this do?
这是北大西洋的露脊鲸它们永不停歇
Those are North Atlantic right whales. They'll go forever.
别有压力兄弟
No pressure, bud.
我还是更喜欢
I think I liked it better
你拿枪指着我的时候
when you were pointing your gun at me.
怎么回事
What's happening?
我们在想那事吗
Are we even thinking about this?
不我们当然没想
No, we're not thinking.
我们慌了
We're panicking.
老天啊我们给他们做了一个性♥爱♥篮子
For God's sakes, we made them a sex basket.
我们做得对吗
Are we doing the right thing?
我不知道
I have no idea.
我都不认识自己了
I don't even recognize myself.
我这么表示支持太不正常了