美式主妇

American Housewife S05E04

Part 4 March 23, 2021, 10:37 a.m.

看吧他说得对我太机智了
See? He's right. I am resourceful.
如果这个方法没用
And if this doesn't work,
我打算绑♥架♥我自己
I'm planning on - having myself kidnapped.
这可真是开了眼界了妈妈
This was a real eye-opener, Mom.
沃克出去
Walker, out!
走之前我要先教教这两个傻瓜
Uh, not before I school these two chumps
怎么玩《海豹三角洲部队》
in "Seal Force Delta."
你有镇定剂吗萝贝塔
You got a Xanax, Roberta?
你给我的论文评了"A"
Did you give me an "A" On my paper
是不是因为你觉得我很性感
because you think I'm hot?
不好意思
I'm sorry?
如果这个成绩不是我堂堂正正得来的我要知道
If I didn't earn the grade fair and square, I want to know about it.
泰勒
Uh, Taylor.
我可以向你保证
I-I can promise you that
虽然格式不当错别字也不少
despite the improper formatting and numerous misspellings --
看来电脑的自动更正都被你打败了...
it appears autocorrect was no match for you...
是你对这个作业的独特想法让你得了"A"
...your unique take on the assignment really did earn you an "A."
和我的外表毫无关系吗
And it had nothing to do with my looks?
听着每个人都写甘地或者爱因斯坦
Listen. Everybody writes about Gandhi or Einstein.
非暴♥力♥抵抗善于数学这种我们都知道
Nonviolent resistance. Smart at math. We get it.
但你选择写《朵拉历险记》
Okay, but choosing to write about "Dora the Explorer,"
说明你是个会独♥立♥思考的人
that shows you're an independent thinker.
是啊我一直试着像朵拉那样生活
Yeah, you know, I always try to live my life like Dora.
敢于冒险说一点西语
Be adventurous, speak a little Spanish,
永远不捣蛋[朵拉剧中对捣蛋鬼狐狸说的话]
and never, ever swipe.
总是背着一个...
And always have a...
双肩包双肩包
Backpack, backpack
是啊
Hey!
你和我之前教过的学生都不一样
You're unlike any student I've ever had before.
从来没有人得了"A"还来争论
Um, no one's ever disputed an "A."
如果不是我应得的我就不要
I didn't want it if I didn't earn it.
我不会因为你长得漂亮
Well, I'd never give you an "A"
就给你"A"的
just because I thought you were cute.
我不是说我不觉得你长得漂亮
I mean, it's not that I don't think you're cute.
你非常漂亮...
You are very cute...
这种话作为你的助教是不会说的
is something that I would never say as your T.A.
我只是想举个例子
I just thought I'd give you an example
告诉你什么话是助教不该说的
of something a T.A. Shouldn't say.
那我们回见
I'll see you around.
说不定我会先见你
Not if I see you first.
这句话就是不该说的例子
And that's an example of something no one should ever say.
沃克你的电♥话♥响了
Walker, your phone's ringing.
上面显示"妈咪"
It says "Mommy"?
喂喂喂
Hi, hi, hi!
什么什么现在吗
What? What? Now?!
不能让它等一个小时吗我和朋友在一起
Can't she wait an hour?! I'm with my friends!
你从来都不理解我
You never understand!
好吧
Fine.
我得走了兄弟们
Gotta bail, dudes.
我要接玛莎放学
I got to pick up Marsha from school.
是你的女儿吗
Is that your daughter?
不是玛莎是我爸妈的展示贵宾犬
No, Marsha's my parents' show Poodle.
它在做敏捷训练
She's at agility training
现在有个美甲预约
and has a pedi-pedi appointment right now.
我们至少可以玩完这局吧
Can we at least finish the game first?
对不起兄弟
Sorry, bruh.
我爸妈吩咐我做什么我就得去做
When my parents - say do something, I gotta do it.
他们控制着钱呢你以后就明白了小库
They control the money faucet. You'll see one day, Coops.
库珀我求你了不要
Cooper, I'm begging you. Don't.
我不想成为我爸妈财产的阶下囚
I don't want to be a prisoner to my parents' money anymore.
别这么做
Don't do this!
所以我正式把我的信♥用♥卡♥交给你
So I'm officially handing over my credit cards to you.
我为你骄傲库珀
Wow! I'm proud of you, Cooper!
他让我伤心欲绝你还赞美他
He rips my heart out, and you praise him?!
我得开始学着怎么照顾自己了
I need to start learning how to take care of myself.
那我的高考辅♥导♥老师怎么办
What about my SAT tutor?
你只能努力学习靠你自己了
You're just gonna have to study hard and do it on your own.
我知道你行的你很聪明
I know you can. You're muy intelligente.
真是疯了
This is madness.
自从你搬到这来
You've gone through a lot of personal growth
你成长了许多这让我恶心
since you've moved in here, and it disgusts me.
我想我更像奥图家的一员了
I guess I'm one step closer to becoming an Otto.
我从来没听过有人用骄傲的语气说那句话
I have never heard that line said proudly before.
是时候删掉乐观妈咪凯蒂的视频博客了
Time to delete Can-Do Katie's mommy vlog.
等等这里有好多评论
Hey, wait. There's a lot of comments on there.
"很好的视频凯蒂
"Great video, Katie.
谢谢你向大家展示一位母亲的真实生活"
Thank you for showing what it's really like to be a mother."
"其他的妈咪视频博客
"All the other mommy vlogs
都会让我觉得挫败"
make me feel bad about myself."
"终于这才是做母亲的真♥相♥
"Finally, the truth about motherhood!
混乱又沮丧"
It's messy and frustrating."
好多评论啊
There's so many of them.
所以还是有人喜欢你做自己的样子的
So, I guess there are people out there who like you for you.
我要保留我的博客了
I guess I'll keep my vlog.
但现在不叫"乐观凯蒂"
But now, instead of "Can-Do Katie,"
要叫...
it'll be called...
我想到了 "一位真正的母亲"
I got it. "A Real Mother."
你知道吗人们说"一位真正的母亲"的时候
You know, when people say "A real mother,"
-会带点讽刺意味 -什么
- it sort of insinuates -- - What?!
没事两种说法都符合你
Nothing. - Works for you either way.
"毛屁♥股♥"
"Harry Azcrac."
我现在懂了
I get it now.
我就知道你会懂的
I knew you would.
我今天找安德烈谈了
So, I talked to Andre today.
他说这个"A"是我应得的
He said I earned my "A" fair and square.
我们知道我们都读了你的论文写得非常好
We know. We both read your paper, and it was really great.
就像爸爸跟我说的
And just like Dad told me,
你忠于自己也因此得到回报
you were true to yourself, and it paid off.
晚安
Good night.
每个人都能很好地做自己除了我
Everyone's doing great being themselves, except me.
我做我自己
I'm being myself,
最多就能得到6个市政厅签名
and I can't even get more than six City Council signatures.
因为这是政♥治♥活动
That's because it's politics,
是唯一一种做自己会吃亏的事情
the one place where being yourself is a negative.
没有人在乎你想保护的那个牧场
No one cares about this field you want to save.
如果你想被选上
If you want to get elected,
你就要像个西港人一样
you have to act like someone in Westport
让人们产生共鸣
that people can relate to.
人们会对什么人产生共鸣
Who's someone they can relate to?
一个彻头彻尾的混♥蛋♥
A complete and total D-bag.
请给市议员竞选者格雷格·奥图投票
Vote Greg Otto for City Council!
我支持什么呢
What do I stand for?
蔬菜汁
Green juice!
拉布拉多
Labradoodles!
给失败的除皱手术退款
Refunds on bad facelifts!