美式主妇

American Housewife S05E05

Part 3 March 23, 2021, 10:37 a.m.

你知道你们俩干了什么好事
You know what you two did.
老天我们要进监狱了
Oh, God, we're going to jail.
会是豪华的监狱也许比这里更豪华
It'll be a nice jail, maybe nicer than here,
但仍然是监狱
but still jail.
不如你告诉我们我们做错了什么
Why don't you tell us what we did?
你们又把湿毛巾
Once again, you left your wet towels
丢在卧室地上等我捡起来
on your bedroom floor for me to pick up.
下次再发生这种事
Next time this happens,
你们俩就得共用卢瑟擦屁屁的毛巾
you both will be sharing Luthor's butt towel.
我们安全了
Okay, we're in the clear.
我说不好
I don't know.
别担心
Don't worry.
她不相信维他命有用
She doesn't believe in vitamins.
所以我会一直把药藏在这里
That's why I'll always hide them in here.
"一直"是什么意思
What do you mean "Always"?
我会找特雷弗要更多
I'll be hitting Trevor up for more
在期末考试学术能力考试和高等院校入学考试
during finals, SATs, and ACTs.
没错
That's right.
我两个都考
Your boy's doing both.
不这可能很危险
No. This could be dangerous.
我不同意
I'm not okay with it.
听着我不是你
Look, I'm not you.
我没法花钱进大学
I can't buy my way into college.
所以我只能用这个方法
So, I'm doing what I have to do.
我能控制好
I have it under control.
大家都这么说
That's what they all say.
我知道上瘾的人会怎么样
I know what addiction can do to a person.
我看到温斯顿叔叔沉迷于俄♥罗♥斯♥彩蛋
I saw my uncle Winston lose himself to Fabergé eggs.
这太完美了
This is perfect.
我想让安妮凯特和富兰克林跳得高高
I want Anna-Kat and Franklin to jump high,
体验危险
flirt with danger.
他们已经十二岁了
They're 12 years old,
却还没有自带酷炫故事的伤疤
and they don't have a scar with a cool story behind it.
你瞧这个
See this?
我是学校里第一个
I was the first girl in our school
尝试着
to attempt the jump
从大橡树上跳到单杠上的
from the big oak tree to the monkey bars.
尝试
Attempt?
摔在了石头上把胳膊肘磕破了
Landed on a rock, split open my elbow,
血流满地
blood everywhere.
操场管♥理♥员♥直接晕过去了
The playground monitor passed out.
还上了校报
Made the school paper.
他们称这个为猩红休庭
They called it The Red Recess.
我也有一道疤
I have one of those, too.
在国际象棋决赛时弄的
Got this at chess champ.
靠棋盘太近打了个喷嚏
Was a little too close to the board, sneezed,
撞到了我的后
and hit my queen.
剩下的比赛我只能全程拿着纸巾按住伤口
I had to hold a tissue to it for the rest of the match.
对我说的就是这种伤疤
Yep. That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about.
我要为辩论临时抱佛脚去了
I'm gonna do some more last-minute cramming for the debate.
我还是觉得没有完美地记住
I still don't have all the comptroller's kids' names
所有审计员孩子的名字
memorized to my satisfaction.
奥图太太我得跟你谈谈
Hey, Mrs. Otto, I need to talk to you about something.
库珀为什么你们这一代人
Cooper, why does your generation
认为所有事都很危险呢
think everything is so dangerous?
如果你知道有人
Well, what if you know someone
要承担不必要的风险呢
who's taking an unnecessary risk?
那你就记下来
Then you take notes,
因为这种讨人厌的担心
because this worry-wart attitude
正把你们所有人
is exactly why you are all
都变成了软蛋棉花屎球
such weak-sauce marshmallow turds.
-但奥图太太 -软蛋
- But Mrs. Otto -- - Weak-sauce...
棉花...屎球
marshmallow...turds!
能帮纳税人节省三个百分点
...save the taxpayer three-point...
三个百分点
three-point...
该死的
Dang it!
3.27个百分点
3.27%.
我就知道
I knew that!
"增加能量提高记忆"
"Helps with energy and improves memory."
还有什么
What else you got?
好了睁开眼睛吧
Alright, guys. Open your eyes!
快上来
Come on up!
天呐你是想吃官司吗女士
Good golly, are you asking for a lawsuit, lady?
我打给你妈妈了她签了同意书
I called your mom, and she signed off on it.
但我妈这人没有安全意识
But my mom doesn't have her eye on the ball.
我爱她但她的判断力实在太差了
I love her, but she'd make a terrible line judge.
赶紧到蹦床上来
Just get on the trampoline.
安全网呢
Where's the safety net?
我们不装安全网
We're not putting a safety net on.
带有"安全"两字的东西都不好玩
Nothing with the word "Safety" in it is fun.
我上次玩时这些东西看上去小多了
These bad boys were a lot smaller the last time I did this.
什么
What?
我说上来
I said come on!
赶紧上来
Get up here!
我们来做专业摔跤手吧
Let's be professional wrestlers!
打桩技
Piledriver!
妈妈
Mom!
我没事
I'm fine.
只需要把这只脱臼的手臂弄回去
Just gotta pop my shoulder back in.
你们准备好去参加辩论了吗
Hey, you guys ready for the debate?
我们马上走了
We're leaving soon.
我们不去了
We're not going.
为什么
Why not?
看着你以好玩之名
Watching you mangle your body
肆意伤害自己的身体我们吓坏了
in the name of "Fun" really freaked us out,
所以我们打算就在家玩"安然无恙"
so we're just gonna stay here and play "Be Safe."
"安然无恙"
"Be Safe"?
这是我们自己造的游戏
It's a game we made up.
规则就是坐在地板上什么也不做
The rules are you sit on the floor and do nothing.
虽然不好玩
It's not very fun,
但就像游戏名那样很安全
but like the name says, it's safe,
而且不像足球女性和男性的薪资相同
and unlike soccer, women get paid the same as men.
行吧
Fine.
知道吗你们赢了
You know what? You win.
其实奥图太太在"安然无恙"游戏里没人会赢
Actually, Mrs. Otto, no one wins in "Be Safe."
这是我最喜欢这游戏的一点
That's one of my favorite things about it.
要是我现在可以因沮丧而把手臂卸下
If I could throw my arms up in frustration right now,
我会的
I would.
库珀你吃了瓶里的脑力增吗
Hey, Cooper, did you take the Boosterin out of the bottle?
没有当然没有
No, of course not.
有人吃了
Somebody did.
爸爸
Dad?
你们好啊
Hey, guys!
上车吧该去参加辩论了
Get in the car. It's time to get to the debate.
要不我还是直接跑去吧
Actually, I'll just run there!
不
No.
外面太潮了
It's super humid.
我们不能让你毁了发型
We can't have your hair Bozo-ing out.
我们开车送你去
We'll drive you there.
说的有理
Good point.
那在走之前我一直做倒立俯卧撑吧
I'll do upside-down push-ups until we leave.
安全起见你应该拨上9和1
To be safe, you should dial 9, 1,
然后大拇指在按键1上待着随时待命
and then have your thumb hovering over the second 1.
西港市政厅
感谢各位前来
Thank you all for coming
参加西港市市议会辩论
to the Westport City Council Debate.
要讨论的事情很多我们开始吧
We have a lot to cover, so let's get started.
奥图先生你的主要主张是拯救那个牧场吗
Mr. Otto, the cornerstone of your platform is to save a field?
不是随便一个牧场
Not just any field.
一个历史牧场
A historic field,
伊斯雷·比塞尔在那喂过他的马