美式主妇

American Housewife S05E06

Part 3 March 23, 2021, 10:38 a.m.

Rule nine, psychological torture works.
真的很有效
It just does.
要是你能帮我管管安娜凯特就好了
Now if you could just help me with Anna-Kat.
她怎么了
What's going on with her?
她拒绝帮我录视频博客
She refuses to do my vlog.
你为什么不让格蕾丝录
Why don't you just use Grace?
完美
Perfect!
还能给我一个了解她的机会
And this'll give me a chance to get to know her.
我又不能强行逼迫
I mean, it's not like I can physically force
安娜凯特帮我录视频博客
Anna-Kat to do my vlog.
她已经请律师了
She's already lawyered up.
他只有11岁却能给我紧张感
He's only 11, but he makes me nervous.
菲奥娜你能送我回家吗
Hey, Fiona, can you give me a ride home?
我爸有个教职工会议
My dad has a faculty meeting.
你♥爸♥爸不就在那吗
Isn't that your father right there?
保罗·瑞佛和评分者乐团
[取自保罗·瑞佛和奇袭者乐团]
我的天呐
Oh. My. God.
谢谢
Thank you!
好了下一首歌♥
Alright, this next one goes out
献给所有的内战战士
to all you civil warriors out there.
名字叫...
It's called...
《为葛底斯堡战役做好准备》
"Gettin' Readys-burg for Gettysburg"!
我的天呐
Oh. My. God.
他每个周一的晚上
He plays here every Monday night
都和其他几个历史教授在这表演
with a few other history professors.
你不知道吗
You didn't know?
*1863年的7月*
* July of 1863 *
*某天上午的9点*
* at 9:00 a.M., *
*有场有关早餐的战争*
* there was a battle for breakfast *
*比起水煮蛋和火腿*
* Instead of boiled eggs and ham *
*联邦军更需要高效的领导者*
* The Union's in need of a leader with speed *
*很幸运他们有乔治·戈登·米德将军*
* Luckily, they had General George G. Meade *
*暴♥乱♥让我们的内心干涸我们需要喝上一杯*
* We're parched from rebellions, and a drink's what we need *
*那就给我们倒一杯帅气高大的米德将军吧*
* So pour us that tall glass of General Meade *
*我们为葛底斯堡战役做好了准备*
* We're gettin' readys-burg for Gettysburg *
*葛底斯堡战役让我心潮澎湃*
* Let's go and headys-burg to Gettysburg *
*葛底斯堡战役让我感到火热*
* I'm feeling sweatys-burg from Gettysburg *
*因为历史让我热血沸腾*
* 'Cause history gets me hot *
我的天呐
Oh. My. God.
房♥檐的排水槽已经清理干净了
The gutters are clean.
现在我们要去给卢瑟清理牙龈
Now we're going to brush Luthor's gums.
那就是嘴里的排水槽
They're the gutters of the mouth.
你们先过来一下
Why don't you come over here first?
要问罪了
It's happening now.
她会怎么惩罚我们我受不了了
What's she gonna do to us? I can't take this anymore.
振作一点兄弟
Pull yourself together, dude!
现在换你给我打气
Now do me.
我们来了
Here we are.
你们一定渴了吧
You must be thirsty.
要喝一杯吗
Can I get you a drink?
水就行了
W-Water's fine.
要加冰块吗
Would you like it on the rocks?
你...
I'm...
说什么
sorry?
我不想给你们喝室温的水
Well, I wouldn't want to give it to you room temperature
然后听你们...
and hear you two...
"抱怨"[音同红酒]
"Whine."
其实我已经不渴了
Actually, I'm not thirsty anymore.
我也是
Me neither.
刚才那是怎么回事
What was that about?
就是跟男孩子们开个玩笑
Oh, just messing with the boys' heads.
好吧
Cool.
爸爸
Hi, Dad!
你的课后会议开得怎么样
How was your after-school meeting?
-挺好的 -我有点好奇
- Fine. - I'm curious --
你们都谈些什么
What kind of stuff do you guys talk about?
就一些话题
Talking points.
什么样的话题
What kind of talking points?
历史话题
Historical ones.
好了我要上楼了
Okay. I'm gonna go upstairs now.
要为睡眠战役做好准备了吗
Getting readys-burg for bed, huh?
刚才那是怎么回事
What was that all about?
就是跟爸爸开个玩笑
Just messing with Dad's head.
好吧
Cool.
别用镜头对着我
Don't be pointing that camera at me.
我不找你拍了
You're off the hook.
我找格蕾丝拍视频博客
I got Grace to do my vlog with me.
她很激动
She's actually excited about it.
我不想在她妈妈面前说什么
I didn't want to say anything in front of her mom,
但格蕾丝有点...
but Grace is kind of...
难相处
difficult.
她故意把牛奶撒在沙发上
She spilled her milk on the couch on purpose.
我肯定她不是故意的
I'm sure it was an accident.
不是她当时说"看好了"
No, she said, "Watch this,"
然后就把牛奶撒在沙发上了
and dumped her milk on the sofa.
然后她说"有牛奶吗"[抖音8月流行话题]
And then she said, "Got milk?",
既讨人厌又过时
which is both mean and outdated.
你不想帮我录视频博客
You don't want to do my vlog,
现在你又污蔑那个乖女孩
and now you're making up lies about a sweet little girl
因为你嫉妒她
because you are jealous.
我说的是实话她是个神经病
I'm telling you the truth. She's psycho.
有塔米那种妈妈
There's no way that she's a bad kid
-她不可能是坏孩子 -随便你吧
- with Tami as her mother. - Suit yourself.
没有富兰克林在场我都不该跟你说话的
I shouldn't even be talking to you without Franklin present.
格蕾丝准备好开始了吗
Grace? You ready to start?
准备好了
I guess.
你们好真正的母亲们
Hello, all you real mothers.
今天的嘉宾是我的好朋友兼教我做妈妈的老师
My guest today is the adorable daughter of my good friend
塔米的可爱女儿
and mom sensei, Tami.
跟大家打个招呼吧格蕾丝
Say hello, Grace!
不要
No.
某人面对镜头有些害羞好了
Someone is a little camera-shy. Okay.
今天我们要学习
Today we are going to learn
怎么用快要坏了的食物做午饭
how to make lunch with whatever you have that's about to go bad.
我的材料有开袋的饼干
For me, that is an open sleeve of crackers,
奶油芝士和草莓
cream cheese, and strawberries.
听起来是不是很有趣
Doesn't that sound fun?
我想吃蛋糕
I want cake.
我们都想吃蛋糕格蕾丝
We all want cake, Grace.
但我们有美味的草莓芝士饼干小点心
But we're having cracker cream cheese strawberry yummy bites.
尝一个吧
Have one.
尝尝吧
Come on!
让大家看看这些点心有多好吃
Show everyone how delicious these treats are.
这就对了
There you go.
过来卢瑟
Here, Luthor!
格蕾丝别把这个喂狗
Grace, do not give that to the dog.
格蕾丝
Grace?
一位真正的母亲
我说不要
I said no.
我是认真的格蕾丝
I mean it, Grace.
不要...
Do not...
格蕾丝·不知道你中间名叫啥·格恩斯
Grace whatever your middle name is Gaines!
下次给老娘准备蛋糕
Next time, have cake.
这样不对格蕾丝
Not cool, Grace!
我来了妈妈们
I'm coming, mommies!
这位嘉宾真有意思
What a fun guest!
一位真正的母亲
明天的节目内容是
On tomorrow's show:
如何告诉你心目中
how do you tell the woman that you have held up
全世界最棒的妈妈
as the greatest mother in the world
她养出一个可怕的小孩
that she raised a terrible child?
以及自己动手做闪闪水晶泥