美式主妇

American Housewife S05E02

Part 1 March 23, 2021, 10:36 a.m.

美式主妇
第五季第二集
我做到了看我逃出迷宫了
I made it. Look. I made it out of the maze.
那是连点游戏特里普
That's a connect the dots, Trip.
你真有趣
You're funny.
泰勒别这么懒散
Taylor, stop slouching.
老妈别管这么宽了
Mom, stop momming.
我现在是大学生了我想懒散就懒散
I'm in college now. I can slouch if I want to.
好多了
Better.
你就是我们学术界所说的"标准的控制狂"
You're what we in academia call a "Textbook control freak."
不敢相信我在和大学女孩约会
I can't believe I'm dating a college girl.
一位年长的女人
An older woman.
特里普我上大学不代表我比你年纪大
Trip, just because I'm in college doesn't make me older than you.
只意味着我上大学了而已
It just makes me in college.
你不仅更年长了你还更智慧了
Not only are you older, you're wiser.
防守安娜凯特
En garde, Anna-Kat!
富兰克林你从不在自己家待着吗
Franklin, are you ever at your own home?
当然但我很早就骑过来
Yeah, but I bike over super early
耳朵贴着污水管
and put my ear to the sewer
听早晨第一次冲厕所的声音
and wait for the morning's first flush.
你蹲得不够低
You're not crouching enough.
你对击剑又有什么了解
What do you know about fencing?
我知道你得蹲下
I know you have to crouch.
我不想再继续了
I don't want to do this anymore.
做梦
Tough.
你得运动你选了这一项
You're doing a sport, and you picked this one,
你不能随便放弃
and you are not stopping just because
就因为这没你想的那么你死我活
there are less fights to the death than you thought.
但面具里太热了
But it's so hot in this mask!
这能让你凉下来
This'll cool you off.
别再欺负我了
Stop bullying me!
做母亲就是要欺负人
Mothering is bullying.
奥图夫人如果我50岁
Mrs. Otto, if I were 50 years older,
我一定追你
I'd take a run at you.
你做你的家务了吗
Did you do your chores?
家务就是为了教你个人责任的家庭杂活
Chores are household tasks designed to teach you personal responsibility.
穷♥人♥那些东西
Poor people stuff.
我加入
I'm in.
很好去铺床
Good. Go make the beds.
好的
Okay.
你把枕头上的薄荷糖放哪儿了
Um, where do you keep your pillow mints?
直接去
Just go.
我会上去确认你做好了没
And I will be up to make sure it's done.
我知道你把千层面的生意卖♥♥了
I know you sold your lasagna business,
但你得找到新生活
but you need to find a new life
让你离我们的生活远一点
so you can stay out of ours.
当千层面生意变得讨厌的时候
When the lasagna business became a pain in the ass,
我把它卖♥♥了
I sold it!
别以为我不会对你做同样的事
Don't think I won't do the same to you!
标准的控制狂
Textbook control freak.
你管东管西喜怒无常
You micromanage, you're moody,
批评别人的行为举止
you judge others' behaviors --
你的头发很顺滑
You have really nice hair.
你的笑让人很舒服
Your laugh is very comforting.
我想着说点好话来缓和刚才的打击
I thought I'd throw in some compliments to soften the blow.
她上了一个半月你那破大学
She has been at that college of yours for a month-and-a-half
就已经开始对她妈居高临下的了
and already talking down to her mother.
我是控制狂吗
Am I a control freak?
我不是霸王龙格雷格
I'm not a T-rex, Greg.
不管你动不动我都能看见你
I see you whether you move or not.
老妈一直对我们管很多
Mom has always been up in our business,
但最近简直更上一层楼
but recently, it's at a whole new level.
她甚至开始在我的衣服里写我的名字了
I mean, she started writing my name in my clothes again.
确实还不错能帮我记住
Like, it's nice. It helps me remember.
但还是啊
But still.
她从有自己的生意到现在无事可做
Well, she's gone from being busy with her business to having nothing to do,
所以她把过剩能量用在管你们身上
so she's putting all that excess energy into smothering you guys.
转移
Transference.
你只需要对她多耐心一点
You just need to show her a little extra patience.
没那么难
It's not that hard.
我们这代人没有耐心
My generation has no patience!
你知道那家新开的赛百味吗
You know that new sub shop?
他们花了整整五分钟来做我的三明治
Took them five whole minutes to make my sandwich.
我等到三分钟就喊起来了
I was Yelping by minute three.
我饿死了
I was starving.
这是什么
What is this?
"西港广场的未来之家
"Future home of Westport Plaza.
奢华的购物及用餐体验"
A luxury shopping and dining experience"?
酷
Tight.
不不酷正相反
No, not tight! Loose!
他们不能这样做
They can't do this.
这不是随便一块田地
This isn't just any field!
在1775年4月
In April 1775,
伊斯雷·比塞尔在这里停下喂马
Israel Bissel stopped here to feed his horse!
伊斯雷·比塞尔是谁
Who's Israel Bissel?
是他让殖民者们知道英国人来了
He let the colonists know the British were coming.
我以为是里维尔那个家伙
I thought that was the Revere dude.
保罗·里维尔骑了12英里
Paul Revere rode 12 miles.
伊斯雷·比塞尔可是骑了345英里
Israel Bissel rode 345!
他要不是在这片地里喂了马
Had he not fed his horse in this very field,
可能都骑不到费城
he may not have made it to Philadelphia,
我们很可能就赢不了了
and we may not have won the war!
保罗·里维尔流芳千古的唯一原因
The only reason Paul Revere got credit
是朗费罗的诗句
was that his name rhymes with
"听我的孩子们你们将听到"
"Listen, my children, and you shall hear"
和他的名字押韵
in the poem by Longfellow.
而没有词和"比塞尔"押韵
Nothing rhymes with "Bissel"!
除非是嘻哈歌♥手史诺普·道格
Unless you're Snoop Dogg. Fo shizzle.
西港广场奥图要来了
Well, Westport Plaza, the Otto is coming.
奥图要来了
The Otto is coming.
是什么让好孩子能量饮料比其他的更好呢
And what makes Buenos Niños energy drink better than the rest?
金箔是真的
The gold flakes are real.
24K的美味
It's 24 karats of deliciousness.
而且一罐只要五万块
And all it costs is $50,000 a can.
所以6罐就值一幢房♥子了
So, a six-pack is worth more than a house?
是的但不是什么好房♥子
Yeah, but not, like, a nice house.
我觉得你得不了高分
I don't think you're gonna get a good grade.
下一位特雷弗和他的"礼物"APP的展示
Next up, Trevor, with his idea for an app called "Gyftee."
礼物通过收集大家的全部线上信息
Gyftee helps find the perfect gift to get someone
来帮助选择完美的礼物
by compiling all of their online information.
就像约会软件一样
It's like a dating app,
但不是把你和人配对
but instead of matching you with people,
而是把你和礼物配对
it matches you with presents.
有趣的想法
Interesting idea.
但这是否涉及到了隐私问题
But are there any concerns over privacy?
对我没有
Not for me.
你在隐藏什么卡尔
What are you hiding, Carl?
我只是指出这个事实
I was only pointing out the fact that --
不你不喜欢这个软件
No, the fact that you don't like it
恰好使我意识到了这是个完美的想法
makes me realize that it's the perfect idea.
你们都是蝼蚁罢了
You're all lemmings.
我会找到人投资这个软件
I'm gonna find someone to invest in this app
变得超级富有
and become super rich,
而你们都会吹嘘自己在高中认识我
and you're all gonna brag that you knew me in high school,
都试图在脸书上添加我为好友
and you'll try to friend me on Facebook,
但我会拉黑你们
but I will have you blocked.
你们都会被我拉黑
All of you will be blocked.
卡尔
Carl.
歇着吧
Shut up!
你在这儿
There you are.
我想让你听听我为播客准备的