美式主妇

American Housewife S05E08

Part 3 March 23, 2021, 10:39 a.m.

I mean, you're so curious and outgoing.
-我有吗 -我觉得有
- I am? - I think so.
在我的印象中
I mean, you strike me as someone
你是那种会出去探索世界的人
who's gonna get out there and explore the world.
谁知道呢也许我会的
Who knows? Maybe I will.
我一直想去试试香啡缤咖啡店
I've always wanted to try Coffee Bean.
趁还没被游客毁掉之前赶快去
Well, do it now before it gets ruined by tourists.
浣熊爬到里面
So, the raccoon crawls in there,
然后笼子就会马上关上
and then it snaps shut,
你妈就知道她嫁的是什么样的男人了
and your mom will know what kind of man she married.
谢谢你的抓捕技巧
Thanks for the trapping tips.
这个技巧
This will come in handy
在我想找梅洛红酒配牛排时能用上
when I'm trying to find a Merlot to pair with a steak.
这些父子之间的谈话
It's these father-son chats
让我们的关系更牢固了
that makes our connection so strong.
好消息
Hey, good news.
我的发膜从普罗旺斯运到韦斯特波特了
My pomade made it from Provence to Westport.
唯一的问题是
The only problem is,
他们会送到我的旧地址
they delivered it to my old address,
但我已经没有司机了
but since I don't have my chauffeur anymore
因为我想做个穷♥人♥
on account of me trying to be like peasant folk,
需要你帮我取回来
I need you to go get it for me.
我不是你的仆人
I'm not your servant, dude.
骑我的自行车自己取
Just take my bike and get it yourself.
我不要骑那辆旧自行车
I am not riding that old bike.
听着作为这个家里的一员
Look, part of being in this family
就得骑旧自行车
is having to ride an old bike.
我们家所有的东西都是旧的
Everything we have is old.
我们的衣服
Our clothes,
我们吃过期的药
we take expired medicine,
我爸爸把检查路边的家具称为
and my dad calls inspecting sidewalk furniture
"淘金"
"Panning for gold."
还是算了吧
You know what, uh, forget it.
我再想别的办法
I'll figure something else out.
随便你
Suit yourself.
还有一件事
Oh, here's another one.
我妈会把烤箱回炉过的不新鲜的薯条
My mom puts stale potato chips in the oven
当成是新做的
to freshen them up.
我猜猜
Let me guess --
你扮的是所有你没玩过的运动化成的鬼
you're the ghost of all sports you've never played.
不是我要亲手把阁楼上的浣熊抓到
No, I'm gonna get that raccoon out of the attic myself.
你这是怎么了给动物管理局打电♥话♥就好了
What is with you? Just call animal control.
我不需要给他们打电♥话♥
I don't need to call them.
我能行
I got this.
我是个男人我喝威士忌
I'm a man. I drink whiskey.
你在感冒的时候喝半茶匙
You drink half a teaspoon when you have a cold.
那也算
Still counts!
谢谢你们帮我试吃
Ooh, thanks for helping me sample
酒店新推出的奢华野餐篮
the hotel's new luxury picnic basket.
这些食物我一个也不认识
I don't recognize any of these foods,
所以我知道肯定很不错
so I know it's gonna be good.
这里有什么
What else do we have?
蓝莓夹心巧克力
Oh, chocolate-covered blueberries.
肉酱
Paté.
马苏里拉芝士球
A mozzarella ball?
那款芝士太好吃了
Oh, that cheese is so good,
我要自己留着
I'm gonna save it for myself.
我开玩笑的
I'm kidding,
但我要把它先放在这
but I'll just put it over here.
它要吃我的果酱甜甜圈
He's trying to eat my jelly doughnut!
她是谁啊
Oh, who do we have here?
那是我的女儿格蕾丝
That's my daughter Grace.
你好格蕾丝
Hi, Grace.
真对不起
I'm so sorry.
我找不到人帮我看小孩
I couldn't find a sitter.
但不用担心她会安静♥坐♥在这的
But don't worry, she'll just sit here quietly.
好的
Cool.
或者像现在这样喊
Or she'll just do that.
不我认为这样很好
Oh, no, I think that's great.
这就是我的未来
This is my future,
所以我最好先习惯一下
so I'd better get used to it.
你好
Hey.
小可爱
Hi, cutie.
看起来你需要一张纸巾
You look like you could use a napkin.
这样也行
Guess that works, too.
格蕾丝
Grace!
熊孩子啊
Ugh, kids.
真对不起
I'm so sorry.
他们会毁掉你所有的衣服
They ruin all your clothes.
我上个月去参加婚礼只能穿运动裤
I had to wear sweatpants to a wedding last month.
卢瑟接住
Luthor, fetch!
看看你可爱的女儿
Ah, look at your adorable daughter
给狗喂了一个超级超级贵的零食
giving the dog a super, super expensive snack.
养孩子就是会有这种问题
Ugh, that is the problem with kids.
你根本不能有好东西
You can't have nice things.
我家里的芝士
The only cheese that I have
不是芝士酱就是芝士饼干
has "Whiz" Or "Its" At the end.
或许我们应该另找个时间在我家试吃
Maybe we should do this another time at my place.
我们可以坐在后院的锦鲤池旁
We could sit in the backyard by the koi pond.
你得把池子里的水抽干
Oh, you're gonna have to drain that.
什么为什么
What, why?
儿童安全措施
Childproofing.
你还要给泳池装围栏
Same reason why you fence your pool,
盖上火炉给楼梯装安全门栏
cover your fire pit, gate your stairs,
在浴缸里小便
and pee in the bathtub
因为你不知道怎么给马桶盖解锁
because you can't figure out how to unlock the toilet seat.
但小孩很棒
But kids are great.
除了不得不改变你的整个后院
I mean, besides having to change your entire backyard
和全部生活...
and also your whole life...
他们完全值得你这么做
they're totally worth it.
好了女士们
Okay, ladies, I --
我好像明白了
I think I'm realizing something.
你们两个教格蕾丝吓我
You two are trying to scare me out of having kids
这样我就不敢要小孩了
by coaching Grace to terrorize me.
我可没教她
Oh, I didn't coach her.
她是个调皮捣蛋的天才
She's a misbehaving prodigy,
在让我血压升高方面她是莫扎特级别的
like the Mozart of raising my blood pressure.
我们觉得如果不让你看看
We felt like we wouldn't be good friends to you
要孩子会给你的人生带来多大的转变
if we didn't show you what a life-changing decision it is
我们就不算是你的好朋友
to have a child.
我知道会有改变但是我能接受
Well, I know it's gonna change, and I'm fine with that.
我对你们敞开心扉希望得到你们的支持
I-I opened up to you, hoping you'd be supportive,
但我错了
but I was wrong.
你们还不如多琳达
You guys are worse than Dorinda.
你收回这句话
You take that back.
我要去门口等优步司机
I'm gonna go wait out front for my Uber.
再见
See ya around.
我感觉很糟糕
I feel horrible.
我也是
Me too.
-我们没资格拥有这些蓝莓夹心巧克力 -是的
- We don't deserve these chocolate covered blueberries. - No.
但我们应该悲痛地吃掉它们
But we should eat them sadly
这样才能让我们感到羞愧
to remind us of our shame.
也许再吃点羞愧肉酱
And maybe a little bit of that shame paté.
我们很高兴你还在这
We're glad you're still here.
我们给你带了剩下的马苏里拉芝士球
We brought you what's left of the mozzarella ball.
我们用水管清洗干净了
We rinsed it off with a hose.
应该还能值85块
It still has to be worth like $85.
对不起我们没支持你
We're sorry that we weren't being supportive.
但说实话我们还是担心
But honestly, we're still worried
你不知道你接下来要面对的是什么
that you don't know what you're getting into.
我们只是想确定你考虑好了