新蛋糕店的开张
Welcome to the Williamsburg diner.
欢迎来到威廉斯堡餐厅
My name's Max, 'cause the hospital
我叫麦克斯 因为我出生时
wouldn't let my mother name me "Oops."
医院不准我妈给我取名叫"我勒个去"
Uh, I've been out of town all summer.
整个夏天我都在外地
Anything new?
有啥新料
Anything new? Let's see.
新料的吗 我想想
实为2012年5月18日
Well, Facebook went public,
脸书公开上市
and Edward Snowden went private.
爱德华·斯诺登转入地下潜逃
爱德华·斯诺登 揭露了美国政♥府"棱镜计划" 潜逃在外
Kim and Kanye had a baby, so now
卡戴珊与侃耶生了个娃
there's another Kardashian to not "keep up" with.
所以又多了个不需要跟踪的卡戴珊家人
调侃美国真人秀节目《跟踪卡戴珊家族》
Paula Deen is out, gay marriage is in,
宝拉·迪恩下台 同性婚姻被通过
宝拉·迪恩 美国知名美食节目女主持 因种族歧视语言而被电视台不续约处分
And a teacher in California is out
加州一名女老师下台
for letting her students get it in.
因为她跟她学生私通过
Justin Bieber got a hit and run,
贾斯丁·比伯肇事逃逸 已无罪释放
被狗仔控诉撞伤他后逃逸 已无罪释放
Chris Brown got a hit and run,
克里斯·布朗也肇事逃逸
讽刺蕾哈娜常被男友克里斯·布朗打 却还继续跟他在一起的虐恋
Rihanna got hit and still didn't run.
蕾哈娜被男友打[肇事]但还是没逃逸
Oprah gave Lindsay $2 million,
奥普拉给了林赛·罗韩两百万
奥普拉旗下电视台拍摄 林赛·罗韩生活纪录片的酬劳
此美国男影星在受访喉癌病情时 表示是由舔♥阴导致感染HPV病毒
Cunnilingus gave Michael Douglas throat cancer,
迈克尔·道格拉斯舔♥阴得喉癌
and Michael Douglas gave guys everywhere
他给了全天下男性又多一个
another excuse not to do that.
不为女人口♥交的理由
Egypt went crazy, Amanda Bynes went crazier,
埃及疯了 亚曼达·拜恩斯更疯
埃及与2013年八月的抗♥议造成数百人死伤 亚曼达·拜恩斯 女童星起家 近来行为各种失控
美国国家安全局的"棱镜计划" 监听全国国民通讯记录
and the NSA checks our phones like a crazy ex girlfriend.
而国家安全局跟疯子前女友一样狂查我们手机
Oh, and Texas hates women, Florida hates blacks,
德州讨厌女人 佛罗里达讨厌黑人
德州通过了一系列歧视女人的法案 佛罗里达发生协警错杀黑人少年案件 被判无罪
And everybody hates everything with the exception
基本上大众看啥都十分不爽
of Angelina Jolie, who is totally awesome.
只看安吉丽娜·朱莉顺眼 她真的屌♥爆了
I meant on the menu. Anything new on the menu?
我是说菜单 菜单上有啥新料理吗
I have no idea. Let me check.
完全不知道 我问问
Hey, Caroline, anything new I should know about?
卡洛琳 有啥我该知道的新料吗
The royal baby smiled at the queen.
英国王室金孙对女王笑了
I meant at the diner.
我是说餐厅啦
Oh. I think we're maybe washing the forks now?
我们现在好像会洗叉子了
Let me check.
我问问
See, Max, one quick change,
麦克斯 你看 衣服一换
and we went from polyester and pitiful to powerful and proud.
我们就从聚酯衣可怜虫 变成强大自信女
Just like superman.
就跟超人一样
Except that superman changed in a phone booth,
人家超人是在电话亭里换衣变身
Not a stall that says, "For a good time, call Max."
而不是在写着"致电麦克斯 包爽"的厕所隔间
Well, if you have a problem with it, why did you write it?
你要是看那句话不爽 你干嘛还要写
'Cause I didn't have enough eyeliner to write,
是因为我的眼线笔不够我再写上
"For an interesting time, call Caroline.""
致电卡洛琳 包傻"
Look. Look, Earl, we're wearing our
厄尔 你看我们又穿上了
"Max's Homemade Cupcakes" T shirts again.
麦克斯自制小蛋糕的制服了
See the logo?
看到标识了吗
Well, actually, I try never
一直以来 我一直避免
to look you ladies in the "chestal" area.
直面你们两位的胸部区域
It keeps things on the up and up.
这样才能对你们无邪念
Oh, Earl, you are one in a million, literally,
厄尔 你真是百万里挑一的好男人
'cause 999,999 men have only looked me in that area.
因为99万9千9百99个男人都只看我那个区域
Well, I got to go home.
我得回家了
I'm binge watching Dharma and Greg on Hulu.
我疯狂在网上追《老公老婆不登对》
上世纪末的美国知名情景喜剧
Oh, I missed so much growing up in Korea.
我太想念在韩国长大的日子了
What, like puberty?
比如错过[想念]青春发育期吗
Max, in my country, I'm average height.
麦克斯 在我国家 我是中等身高
And in my mind, I'm still rich,
在我脑海里 我也还是富家千金
and my health care plan isn't Flintstones chewables.
我的医疗保健计划也不是幼儿维他命丸
So who wants to go in the back
谁有兴趣跟我们到后边
and see how amazing our brand new cupcake shop is?
看看我们全新的小蛋糕店有多赞
Bring down the enthusiasm, Rachael Ray.
收敛一点你的热情好吗 瑞秋·芮
美国知名女艺人厨师 说话十分激动有活力
Right, we're not supposed to get all excited about this opening tonight.
对 我们不能为新店开张的事兴奋过头
Last time, we made a big deal,
上次就是搞的很隆重
and the shop didn't do so well.
结果店后来也不好
Ha! That's like saying the people
笑死人了 这就跟在核弹爆炸点
near the nuclear explosion didn't do so well.
附近的居民说他们只是不太好一样
Girls, I am so proud of you two,
女孩们 我很替你们高兴
getting back up on that horse.
东山再起 上马再战
After my first jazz record didn't sell,
我当年第一张爵士专辑卖不出去后
I turned to a life of drinks, drugs, and loose women.
我就开始喝酒 吸毒 玩骚货的生活
Funny how sometimes things just work out right.
真是山穷水尽疑无路 柳暗花明又一村啊
But how can you be opening your cupcake window right now?
但你们怎么会是这个时间开张呢
It's 2:00 A.M. Our hours are 2:00 to 4:00.
现在半夜两点呢 我们就开二到四点
We're targeting the "post bars" demographic.
我们主要目标客户是从酒吧玩完的人群
Drunk Williamsburg guys.
威廉斯堡醉酒男性
That's my target when I'm by myself
他们是我独自一人时的目标
And now my target at the new shop.
也是我们新店的目标
Funny how sometimes things just work out right.
真是柳暗花明又一村啊
We have no big expectations about the opening tonight.
我们对今晚的开张完全没有任何期待
It's a soft opening.
今晚算是软开幕[试营业]
What's the difference between a soft one and a hard one?
软的跟硬的区别在哪啊
You want me to show him?
要我展示给他看看吗
Thanks, but we're cool.
谢了 我们不需要
Seriously, it won't take me a minute.
说真的 我只需不到一分钟
It's fine, Oleg.
不用了 奥列格
Just so you know, I'm already there.
告诉你们一声 我已经"硬"了
Get ready, this room's had an amazing transformation.
做好准备 这房间被我们大改造了一番
Rachael Ray? I mean, it's fine, whatever.
瑞秋·芮 还行啦 随便吧
Han, before we go in, close your eyes.
阿憨 进去前先闭上眼睛
I want you to get the full effect.
我想要你有最完整的体验
Yeah, and I want to trip you.
对啊 我也想要绊倒你
She's kidding. No, she's not.
她开玩笑的啦 她才不是开玩笑
Yeah, I'm not.
没错
Han, I promise, I won't let her trip you.
阿憨 我保证我不会让她绊倒你
Now, close your eyes.
快闭上你的眼睛
What? Now, I thought she was going to hit me.
又咋了 我刚才感觉到她要打我
She was not. Yeah, I was.
她才没呢 其实有啦
Okay, no more blind eye bull crap.
够了 别搞这狗屁闭上眼了
Just show me the damn smelly back room.
快他妈的让我看那破房间
Let me turn off the lights for a more dramatic impact.
让我先关上灯 好营造更大的视觉冲击
What? I didn't do anything.
叫屁啊 我又没干嘛
It was me.
是我♥干的
He now knows what hard is.
他现在懂什么是"硬"了
I cannot believe my eyes.
我真不敢相信我的眼睛
I felt the same way when I first saw you.
我第一次见到你时也是同样的感觉
Original tan, original tile, original too.
全部都是原创原装哦
What do you think, Oleg?
奥列格 你觉得如何
Nice.
不错
"Nice"? All you got is "nice""
不错 你就这么一句"不错"吗
This place was like great adventure for rats!
这里本来像是老鼠的主题公园
They were waiting in line to bite us.
它们还排队要进来咬我们呢
Caroline, show them your bite marks.
卡洛琳 给他看看咬痕
I'd rather not. Nice?
我不要 不错
It used to smell like the place poop comes to die.
以前这里闻起来像是屎的坟场
Or death comes to poop.
又或者是死亡来拉屎的地儿
And look what we did! We created the greatest,
但你看这成果 我们亲手打造了这最棒
coolest, chic est cupcake shop, and I love it!
最酷最潮的小蛋糕店 我爱死了
But you know, no enthusiasm. Just a soft opening.
但也没啥激♥情啦 就软开幕罢了
And, Han, this was all possible
阿憨 能有这一切
because you gave us the space rent free.
也是因为你不收我们租金
Rent free? Now, refresh my memory.
什么免租 给我说说
When exactly did I say "rent free?"
我什么时候说过这话
On the 27th, 4:15 P.M., you said,
在27号下午4点15分 你说
"I don't care about that dump, you can have it for free."
那个垃圾堆 你要免♥费拿去
burn it to the ground, for all I care."
还是一把火烧了我都无所谓"
I knew learning English would come back to bite me in the ass.
我就知道学了英语 有一天我会遭报应
Soone's already knocking?
已经有人来敲窗口啦
That's a really great sign, Max.
是很棒的兆头啊 麦克斯
Time to open.
是时候开店了
Look, girls, I'm blowing this party horn for you.
女孩们 我来为你们吹派对喇叭庆祝啦
Thanks, Sophie, but we didn't want to make a big deal,
谢了苏菲 但我们不想搞得太隆重
it's a soft opening.
就是个软开幕而已
Oh, I love a soft opening.
我可喜欢软开幕[温柔前戏]了
Hello, Sophie. Oh, hello, Oleg.
你好啊 苏菲 你好 奥列格
Sorry, Sophie, about this uncomfortable meeting.
抱歉苏菲 害你们尴尬碰面了
If we had known you were going to surprise us,
要是知道你会来给我们庆祝
We wouldn't have invited Oleg.
我们就不会请他来了
Yeah, I was there when you two broke up
你们俩个分手那会我也在
and I'm still suffering from PTSD.
我现在还有PTSD呢
正常为"创伤后精神紧张性精神障碍"
"Post traumatic Sophie drama.""
创伤后苏菲性闹腾大戏障碍"
There's no drama.
才没有什么大戏呢
And the award for the best drama goes to...
最佳大戏的奖项得主是...
not us. Right, Oleg?
绝非我们 对吧 奥列格
Yes, we're friends now.
没错 我们现在是朋友
See, girls, I cheated on her,
女孩们 我出轨了
So she smashed in my car windows.
所以她来砸烂了我的车窗
and my apartment windows.
以及我公寓的窗户
And your stereo and your flat screen.
以及你的音响与平面电视
And my brother's flat screen and his daughter's computer.
以及我兄弟的平面电视与他女儿的电脑
Yeah, she surprised me.
对啊 她吓到我了
She wasn't supposed to be home.
她当时不应该在家的
We got it out of our systems. Good night, friend.
这些都是过眼云烟了 晚安 朋友
Good night, friend.
晚安 朋友
And, Oleg?
对了 奥列格
That is one lucky horn.
真是根幸运的喇叭呀
Honey, look. Look, some customers.
宝贝 你们看 有客人
Hey, cool guys!
帅哥们
Come over here and eat something from the girls' soft opening!
快过来这两姑娘的"软"开幕里吃点东西
That is so not the way I would've gone,
完全不是我计划中的广告方式
But I'll take it.
但是无所谓了
Hello, hello.
你们好呀
What have we got here?
你们这里有什么呢
Welcome to Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
欢迎来到麦克斯自制小蛋糕
In England we call 'em "fairy cakes."
在英国我们叫它"仙女蛋糕"
Fairy cakes? Damn it.
叫这"仙女蛋糕" 我靠
Why are the hot ones always gay?
为什么帅哥永远是基
Here you go darling, give us the whole lot.
给 宝贝 整盘给我们吧
Oh, my God!
我的天啊
卡中之王 不设透支上限 不接受申请
A black American Express card?
美国运通黑卡
I haven't held a black one in my hands in years.
我手里多久没有握着黑的了啊
I would've guessed you hadn't held a black one ever.
我还以为你从没手握过"黑"[阳♥具]的人呢
Sorry, it's our first night. Cash only.
抱歉 今晚刚开张 只收现金
Oh, wow. He is really out of it.
他感觉都嗑傻了啊
What is he on? Besides me later?
他嗑[上]啥了 等会就是上我啦
Do not know, but am jealous.
不知道 但好嫉妒啊
And now I'm really jealous.
我现在真的超嫉妒他啊
I'm sure he'll be fine.
他没事[人很棒]的
Oh, I'd say he's more than fine.
我觉得他不只是很棒啊
I'd say he's my next boyfriend.
他必须是我下一个男朋友啊
Roland, mate, wake up.
罗兰 兄弟 醒醒啊
He's not breathing.
他停止呼吸了
I can't wake him, call 911!
叫不醒他 快叫救护车
Call 911!
叫救护车啊
Let's all just calm down.
大家冷静一下好吗
I have seen this happen a lot.
这种场面我见多了
One summer I had a part time job
有年暑假我去打工
as a lifeguard at a crack house.
去吸毒所当紧急救护员
He'll come to in a second.
他很快就会醒来了
He's dead.
他死了
Called that wrong.
预言错了
Max, the guy who died in front of our shop last night
麦克斯 昨晚死在我们小店门口的人
was a rock star.
生前是摇滚明星呢
He used to date Kate Moss.
他跟凯特·摩斯约会过呢
英国女超模 情史颇为丰富
No offense, but dating Kate Moss
无意冒犯 但跟凯特·摩斯约会
is like a law in England.
就像是英国法律一样
Everyone has to do it when they turn 21.
每个人满21岁的时候都得上她一次
His name was Roland Gass, and he has two gold records.
他叫罗兰·格拉斯 有两张金唱片
I can't believe I've never heard of him.
真不敢相信我没听说过他
I can.
我能信
Your go to jam is the soundtrack from Newsies.
你没事听的音乐是迪士尼音乐剧
Yesterday a rock star, and today he's gone.
昨天还是摇滚明星 今天就挂了
You never know.
世事难料啊
That's why I ordered us breakfast
所以我跟街角那家
from the fancy breakfast place on the corner.
华丽早餐店订了早餐
You ordered from Magna Cum Latte?
你从荣誉学餐厅订了早餐啊
Every day when I pass by it, I think two things:
每天经过他的店 我都想着两件事
one, I wish I had a gun.
一 我好希望有把枪
And, two, someday I'm gonna order breakfast to be delivered
二 有一天要跟它们订早餐 让它们送
with one of their fancy ass croissants.
那个牛逼哄哄的牛角面包来
Who knows, tonight I could do too much heroin
谁知道我今晚会不会吸食海♥洛♥因过量
and die an unexpected death.
然后莫名其妙死了
But at least then I'd die doing something my mother loved.
但好歹我也死於一件我妈爱做的事之下
You're right, Max. You only live once.
你说得对 麦克斯 人生只有一次
Yolo.
“人一"啊
And you only live till the next time you say "Yolo."
你下次再说"人一"的时候 就是你的死期
Oh, no. More bad news.
惨了 更多坏消息
According to my google alert for Max's Homemade Cupcakes
我设置的麦克斯自制小蛋糕店谷歌搜索提示
You have a google alert for our business?
你还设置对我们小店的搜索提示啊
I only have a google alert for "Oprah goes topless."
我只对"奥普拉裸上身"有设提示
I'm not saying it's gonna happen,
我不是说这一定会发生啦
but I'm saying, if it does,
但如果真发生了
I'm gonna be the first one to know.
我会是第一个知道的人
Look, it's online that Roland Glass died in front of our shop.
网上都在传罗兰·格拉斯死在我们店门口
And now my phone just died. It's an epidemic.
现在我手机也死了[没电] 死亡在传染啊
Oleg, what are you still doing with the arrow from our shop?
奥列格 你还拿着我们小店的箭头在干嘛啊
I thought you said that was hung.
你不是说挂好了吗
No, I said I was hung.
我是说我鸟大[挂好了]
And I can't put it up now
而现在也没法去帮你挂了
with that crowd of people in front of your window.
你们窗口外有太多人了
There are people in front of our window?
有人在我们窗口外吗
Dude, is this where my man Roland died?
兄弟 这里就是罗兰死的地方吗
Yeah, right over there.
对啊 就这儿
Then I'm gonna put this here next to paddington bear.
那我要把这个放这 小熊放旁边
I caught this at his last concert.
我在他上次演唱会上接到的
And I also caught this.
然后还被人打[接]到了
So, like, what, dude? He just dropped to the ground?
兄弟 所以他就这么倒下了吗
Actually, he hit right here first, smiled, then fell.
他是先撞到这里 笑了 然后才倒下
He smiled? Dude.
他还笑啦 兄弟
Max, can I see you over here?
麦克斯 能过来说两句吗
Sorry for your loss. And dope hat.
我也感到很遗憾 但帽子很屌♥哦
Thanks. I found it in a dumpster.
谢谢 我在垃圾堆捡到的
Max, what are you doing?
麦克斯 你在干嘛
Don't tell them he hit our counter.
别告诉人家他有撞到柜台啊
We need to distance ourselves from the entire event.
我们得让蛋糕店跟这事情撇清关系
This spells disaster for our new business.
这对我们的新生意犹如灾难
Dude, can I get three dozen cupcakes?
兄弟 能来三打小蛋糕吗
Or it spells success.
也可能是成功
I have beaucoup friends coming here for the midnight vigil.
我有爆多朋友要来参加守夜活动
How much are your cupcakes?
你的小蛋糕卖多少钱啊
$7.
7块钱一个
That's a lot.
好贵啊
Dude. Roland would've wanted it that way.
兄弟 罗兰会希望是这个价的
* Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door **
敲呀敲 敲开天堂之门 *
And he hit right here before he fell.
摔倒之前 他的头撞到了这里
And as he fell, he looked up at me and smiled.
而摔倒时 他抬头看着我微笑
Content. Peaceful.
一脸满足和平静
That'll be $7, cash only.
多谢7块钱 只收现金
Mira, can you break a 50?
给你一张50的 能破开吗
Max!
麦克斯
Yeah, what do you need?
什么事
Change for a 50. Got it.
一张50块 给人找钱 好的
I mean, why, God, why?
我是说 "好"可惜呀
* Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door **
敲呀敲 敲开天堂之门 *
Ten, ten, ten, ten.
给你四张10块
* Heaven's door **
敲开金钱之门 *
Max, we're almost sold out in here.
麦克斯 这里的小蛋糕快卖完了
I need more cupcakes from the kitchen. Got it.
你去厨房多拿点过来 好的
I'll come right in.
我马上回来
Earl?
厄尔
Same split as before. 30 cents on every dollar you sell.
分成跟以前一样啊 我七你三
What a waste.
真是白费劲
You know how much money we could make if we sold pot?
你知道如果我们卖大♥麻能挣多少钱吗
Oh, you want in on that too? Same split.
那个你也想加入呀 分成照旧哦
嬉皮士酷爱广藿香精油 将其看作是和平的象征
Oh, man, that hippie patchouli smell
天啊 嬉皮士的广藿香味
is worse than the poop was.
比这里本来的屎味还难闻
Han, shh. These people are in mourning.
阿憨 小声点 人们在哀悼呢
Show some respect.
放尊重点
Me? Me show some respect?
我吗 居然让我放尊重点
What will you two do next,
你们俩接下来要干嘛
sell cupcakes at the diabetes wing at the children's hospital?
在儿童医院的糖尿病科卖小蛋糕吗
How dare you doubt my sincerity?
你胆敢质疑我的真心
I personally have shooed a homeless man
我曾两次亲自赶走
away from peeing on that shrine twice.
一个要在悼念圣坛上撒尿的流浪汉
I don't care what I may or may not have said
我不管27号下午的4点15分
on the 27th at 4:15 P.M.
有没有说过什么话
Your business is booming, and now I want rent.
你们的生意现在这么红火 我要收租金
No way, Han. That man could've overdosed anywhere.
没门 那家伙本可以死在任何一个地方
But God made him overdose in front of our window as a gift.
但上帝把他送到我们窗前死
这是神赐之礼
And, yes, we are accepting that gift because you only live once.
没错 因为人生只有一次 所以我们接受这份礼物
Yolo.
人一
This isn't "yolo", It's "hodo""
才不是 应该是"死一"
He only died once.
人只能死一次
I'm surprised you aren't selling "hodo" T shirts.
我真惊讶你们居然没把这句话印成T恤来卖
How dare you again?
你怎么能这样说呢
We are simply providing some comfort food
我们只是给需要安慰的人
to people who need comfort.
提供一些安慰食物
And, I might add, we are doing it with the utmost respect.
而且我要说 我们心怀着最崇高的敬意
* Knock, knock, knocking on the Apple store's door **
敲呀敲 敲开苹果专卖店的大门 *
That's it, your business is booming,
够了 你们现在生意好得不得了
I want rent. 200.
我要收租金 200块
A year?
一年吗
A month, and it's a bargain for my beautiful space.
是一个月 对于这么漂亮的地方算是很低啦
This space is only beautiful because we made it beautiful.
这地方漂亮是因为我们把它变漂亮的
Yeah, show 'em your bite marks!
对啊 给他看你的咬痕
Max, I'd rather not.
麦克斯 我不要
You will pay me $200 a month,
你们一个月要交租金200块
and there is nothing you can do to change my mind!
我意已决 你们做什么都没有用
Show him your bite marks! Fine!
给他看你的咬痕 好吧
A rat bit her ass?
她的屁♥股被老鼠咬了
Okay, 195.
好吧 那就收你们195块
No rent, Han. That wasn't the deal you made us.
不许收租 阿憨 当初我们可不是这么说的
This is not personal, it's business.
这无关私人情谊 这是公事公办
I want a slice of grief pie!
人家也想分一杯羹嘛
Show him your front bites!
给他看你前面的咬痕
No! That's too personal.
不要 这太私密了
Sorry you had to do that. So am I.
抱歉你不得不这么做 我也很后悔
It's healing nicely. Don't lie to me.
伤口愈合得不错嘛 别骗我了
I think it's nice of us to add our flowers to the others.
我觉得把我们的花跟其他人的放在一起很不错
Shows respect.
以示尊敬
You're acting like you didn't steal them.
说得好像这花不是你偷来的一样
Max, it's the thought that counts.
麦克斯 有这份心就行了嘛
And I thought it'd be cheaper to pull them out of someone's garden.
而且我觉得从别人花园摘更便宜啊
Wait, where's the shrine?
等等 悼念圣坛去哪儿了
Look, Han moved it over to the diner door.
瞧 阿憨把它挪到餐厅门口了
That insolent charlatan!
那个厚颜无♥耻的伪君子
Whatever that means.
不懂 但我支持你
* Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door **
敲呀敲 敲开天堂之门*
Can you believe this, girls?
姑娘们 你们能相信吗
He's cashing in on a man's death.
他居然赚死人的钱
Without us.
不带上咱们
And in his honor, tonight we are serving
为了纪念他 今晚本餐厅供应
Chicken a la Roland!
罗兰风味鸡排
At a mourner's discount of just $8.
95.特别给大家打一个哀悼折扣 只需8块9毛5哦
Looks like Jiminy Cricket turned to the dark side.
看起来纯真的小蟋蟀转投黑暗面了
I also have rock star pudding.
还有摇滚明星布丁哦
Nope. No way, Max. This is our shrine.
这样不行 麦克斯 这是我们的悼念圣坛
Grab a handful of bears.
把公仔熊拿过去
We're moving the dead guy shrine back?
我们要把死人的悼念圣坛挪回去吗
Wait, let me just light a candle for my dignity.
等等 让我先为我的自尊烧根蜡烛
It died here too.
它在这里死掉了
Max, do you want to be successful or not?
麦克斯 你到底想不想成功
Because if you do, grab one of these poems
因为如果你想 把这些
that doesn't follow any of the rules of poetry,
一点也不遵守诗词格律的烂诗撕下来
and move it back to the cupcake window.
粘回我们蛋糕店的窗口
Because this is our death.
因为这笔死人财是属于我们的
I think maybe you're being a little harsh.
我觉得你可能有点过于严苛了
"Rock out in heaven. Love, Kevin.""
在天堂摇滚 爱你的凯文"
That's gold.
金句呀
Oops, knocked over a candle.
哎呀 把蜡烛弄倒了
Ooh, small fire, small fire.
没事 小火小火
Fire on my shoe.
烧到我的鞋了
If I don't get this out, it's gonna be my memorial service.
如果我不把火弄灭 这就成了我的追悼会了
Look, look.
大家快看
Those girls are disrupting the shrine of a dead man!
这两个女人在破坏逝者的悼念圣坛
Look, look, a roach got out of the diner!
大家快看 有蟑螂从餐厅里跑出来了
Quick, step on it!
快踩死他
Look, hippies, look! Put down those bongs and look.
嬉皮士们 快看 把大♥麻烟枪放下看一眼
They're moving the place where a man died
她们为了自己的利益
for their own financial gain!
居然转移逝者死亡的地方
Hey, that's so not cool, man.
这样做可不酷哦 伙计
Yeah, come on. Yeah, boo!
对啊 快回来 呸呸呸
He's the not cool one. Yeah, look at him!
他才是那个不酷的人 对啊 看他
Roland Glass died a horrible death
罗兰·格拉斯是在我们可爱的
in front of our adorable cupcake window.
小蛋糕店窗前可怕地死去
See? "Horrible, adorable"?
听见没 "可怕地 可爱地"
That rhyme just came right off the top of my head.
我脑子随便一转 想出来的词多押韵啊
Hey! Hi. Hi.
你好你好
He knows!
他知道
I told him to stop peeing on the shrine
我曾告诉他不要在悼念圣坛上撒尿
when it was still over there!
当时圣坛就是在这边
Isn't that right?
对不对
Yep. That's the bitch.
对 就是这个贱♥人
Yes! Yes! I'm the bitch!
没错 我就是那个贱♥人
So not cool, dude. Let's get him out of here.
这样可不酷 兄弟 把他扔出去
No! Stop!
不要啊 住手
That's my wallet!
那是我的钱包
Ooh, stop! That's not my wallet.
住手 那不是我的钱包
Stop!
住手
Stop!
住手
百老汇最受欢迎的音乐剧
Cast of Rock of Ages, stop!
《摇滚年代》的演员们 住手
Put him down. He's cool.
把他放下来 他很酷[自己人]
Even with those clothes and that head.
即使衣着老土样子老气
I mean, really.
我问你一句
Are we that desperate for success?
我们有这么渴望成功吗
We'd let Han be torn apart?
宁愿阿憨被人五马分尸也在所不惜
I'm thinking.
我在想
Caroline Max, I'm thinking.
卡洛琳 麦克斯 我说了我在想
Well, no one's knock, knock,
现在没人来敲呀敲
knocking on our door now.
敲开我们的大门了
It's more dead out there
现在外面安静得
than when there was a dead guy out there.
比有人死在外面还要死寂一片
I'm having second thoughts about how we behaved today.
我重新考量了我们今天的行为
I mean, how could we have let Han live?
我是说 我们怎么可以保住阿憨的小命呢
Hello.
你们好呀
I brought you some rock star pudding to say thank you.
为了表示感谢 我给你们带来了摇
滚明星布丁
Oh, rock star pudding. What's in it, pills?
摇滚明星布丁 里面都有啥 药
Broken dreams? Tear stained panties?
破碎的梦想 还是带着泪痕的女生内♥裤
Caroline?
卡洛琳
I'm not as easy as Max.
我可不像麦克斯那么好哄[上]
Said every girl in my seventh grade class.
我七年级的时候 班里每个女孩都这么说
Look, I was wrong.
我错了
No, Han, I was.
不 阿憨 是我错了
We should pay rent.
我们应该给你租金的
I wasn't talking about the rent.
我不是在说租金
Rent? Who said anything about rent?
租金 谁刚说租金了
I was wrong when I said
我错了是因为当我说
it wasn't personal, it was business.
这无关私人情谊 这是公事公办
After Max stopped me from being torn
在麦克斯阻止那群臭哄哄的嬉皮士
limb from limb by the smelly hippies,
把我碎尸万段后
I realized, with us, it is mostly personal.
我意识到 我们之间大部分是私人情谊
And a little business.
只有小部分要公事公办
A little business?
小部分公事公办
What other kind could you have?
你的"事"能有多"大"啊
Max, let's not be hard on Han.
麦克斯 不要嘲讽阿憨嘛
He's giving us this space rent free.
他不要我们的租金
No one said "rent free."
谁说不要租金了
I came up with a number I think is fair.
我想到了一个公平的数字
$250,000. Yeah, sounds fair.
25万 是呀 真公平
I remembered that was your original cupcake shop goal.
我记得这是你们俩第一家蛋糕店的目标
So when you hit that amount, we can talk rent.
所以等你们达成那个目标 我们再说租金的事
Han, that is so sweet.
小憨憨 你真是太好了
And I'm not gonna ruin it by bringing up the fact
我不会把刚才她说的那句"硬憨"
that she just said "hard on Han."
说出来破坏气氛呢
Really, Han, it's so, so generous.
真的 阿憨 你真是太好了
But I don't know if we're comfortable with it.
但我不知道我们承不承担的起
What if we offered you a small piece of the business?
要不我们分你点股份吧
I'll wait for the rent. You two are good friends.
我还是等租金吧 你们两个才是好姐妹好搭档
A woman finally offers Han a piece,
终于有女人愿意让阿憨"分一杯羹"
and he turns it down.
他却拒绝了
Max. Google alert.
麦克斯 谷歌快讯
Oprah's topless?
奥普拉裸上身吗
Max, let that go. That's never gonna happen.
麦克斯 别想了 那是不可能的
Not with that attitude.
你这态度就肯定不可能了
No, the autopsy says Roland Glass
验尸报告表示 罗兰·格拉斯
choked on a Max's Homemade Cupcake.
是被麦克斯自制小蛋糕噎死的
This is a disaster.
这下真的是灾难了
Hey, where's your enthusiasm now, Miss Rachael Ray?
你的热情上哪去了 瑞秋·芮小姐
This place is the balls!
这小店最牛逼了
And it's just a matter of time
要不了多久
till those sicko hipsters are lining up
那些心理变态的嬉皮士就会来
for "one of those cupcakes that killed that dude""
排队要买"噎死罗兰"的小蛋糕了
Open the window! We're back, baby!
打开窗户 我们继续营业
But we can't count on a guy dying every week.
但我们也不能指望每周都有人死啊
I mean, I have a positive attitude,
没错 我是有乐观积极的态度
but that's too pollyanna.
但这也太过分乐观了吧
We don't have to.
不需要啊
That's what's so great about this window.
这才是这扇窗最棒的地方
Who knows what'll happen?
谁都不知道下一秒会发生什么事
Right, and we won't have to chase business down
也是 我们也不必努力找生意
because we'll be right here on the street
因为我们就在这条街上
waiting for it to come to us.
守株待兔
Max, I feel so good about the possibilities.
麦克斯 我对未来的各种可能感觉好极了
One night it could be a black American express card,
昨晚是一张美国运通黑卡
And the
而另一晚
Max, is it...
麦克斯 是不是那个
Other nights, it's a friendly little visit
另一晚 是流浪汉
from our homeless guy.
友好地来拜访我们