无情男人，有爱朋友
That was like our tenth gay guy tonight.
咱们今晚都来了有十个基男客人了
Let's hope our gay buzz lasts longer than Adam Lambert's.
希望这基男热潮的比亚当·兰伯特的持久
亚当·兰伯特 《美国偶像》选秀节目上的知名参赛者 是已出柜的男同性恋 曾引起一阵讨论热潮
Oh, it will. I'm all over it.
会的 我现在正在搞呢
And by "it," I mean I'm all over Grindr.
至于方法嘛 就是去"磨磨"上搞
Max, why are you on that app?
麦克斯 你怎么也用这应用
You're not a gay man looking for anonymous sex.
你又不是想约炮的基男
Don't put me in a box!
少自己给姐定位
You told me to find ways to drum up business.
你让我想办法招揽客人
Well, I'm drumming it up by showing off
而我招揽客人的方法就是
This guy's "bid'ness."
用这男人的"巨蟒"揽客
I pretended to be a rough and ready Puerto Rican guy
我假扮成一个波多黎各籍 犀利放浪
who still likes to cuddle.
喜欢抱抱的基男
That there's gay chum, my friend.
一钓一个准啊
Ooh, I hooked a big one. Get the net.
你看 钓上大鱼了 拿好渔网
Hi. Was a muscular Puerto Rican guy just here?
刚才是不是有个威猛的波多黎各哥哥来过
When is there not?
一直都有啊
Would you like to purchase a delicious cupcake while you wait?
你要不要在这等他时 顺便买个小蛋糕呢
Well, maybe, while I wait.
反正要等 何乐而不为呢
My phone says he's right here.
我手机上显示 他人就在这里啊
Here, this is on the house,
给 免♥费请你吃
Because the muscular gay guy, that's him.
因为所谓的"威猛基男" 就是他
It's cool that you're transitioning,
你还在变性过渡期不是问题
but you really should let people know you're not Puerto Rican.
但你能不能别假装是波多黎各人啊
Thank you.
谢谢
He said he was 22 and butch, so I'm mad too.
他说自己22岁而且不娘 我也是受害者啊
Earl, I need my checks for tonight.
厄尔 给我今晚的点菜单[打勾]
Beautiful? Check.
美吗 打勾
Sexy? Check.
性感吗 打勾
Cool? Check.
酷吗 打勾
Sorry I'm late.
抱歉 我迟到了
I was ten minutes early for my shift,
我本来早到了10分钟
so I thought "well, I have 20 minutes to kill,"
我就想"我还得消磨20分钟才开始上班"
and I wandered into this cool surf shop
刚好就逛进了一家冲浪用品店
And saw this guy polishing a surfboard.
然后看到一个男的在给冲浪板抛光
A surfer here?
在这带混的冲浪者
You don't hang ten in Williamsburg,
威廉斯堡不是冲浪的圣地
hang ten
冲浪 直翻则是吊十
You hang yourself.
是上吊的宝地
I'm with Max, the only waves we get in Brooklyn
我同意 布鲁克林这里唯一有的"浪潮"
are heat waves and crime waves.
只有热"浪"跟犯罪"潮"
Earl, you never go out to the beach?
厄尔 你没去过海滩吗
You crazy?
你疯啦
I'm ain't gonna get eaten by some shark.
老子才不要去喂鲨鱼
ain't nobody got time for that.
也没那个闲工夫
The chances of you being bit by a shark are, like, 0.0001%.
人被鲨鱼咬的几率只有大概百万
分之一吧
Not if you're black.
黑人就不是这几率了
Sharks are racist as hell.
鲨鱼超有种族歧视啊
That's why they call them "great whites."
不然人家干嘛叫它们大"白"鲨
Marc, the surfer, and I really hit it off,
冲浪男马克 跟我超投缘啊
And he is so cute, like a young Matthew Mcconaughey,
他很帅 像年轻版的马修·麦康纳
马修·麦康纳 美国男演员 曾有传言做了植发手术
but with real hair.
但他头发是真的
So nothing like Matthew Mcconaughey.
所以基本上是一点也不像
I hope he texts me. I love surfing.
希望他会给我发短信 我超爱冲浪
I never go in the water, 'cause I know if I start drowning,
我从不下水 哪天万一我溺水了
I'm not gonna fight it.
我肯定不会挣扎
When I used to summer in St. Barths,
我以前夏天会去圣巴斯岛度假
there'd be these sexy Italian surfers,
那边好多性感意大利冲浪男
and they'd invite us to sunbathe on their boards.
会邀请我们躺他们冲浪板上做日光浴
I mean, they robbed us, but it was amazing.
虽然还抢劫了我们 但还是很棒的回忆
Caroline, if you're looking for that kind of guy,
卡洛琳 如果你喜欢那种男人
I have a cousin who loves the water.
我有个亲戚就很喜欢海边
It's the only place he can move his legs.
因为下了水 他的脚才能动
Oh, sweet. No thanks.
挺好啊 但不用了 谢谢
Well, think about it.
你好好考虑吧
You'll be at the front row of every concert,
跟他去任何演唱会都能坐最前排
and he doesn't move around a lot when he sleeps.
而且他睡觉的时候也不太会乱滚
Here, give old ironside my number.
给轮椅哥我的电话吧
What? I love music, and if he bugs me,
我喜欢音乐嘛 而且他要骚扰我
the city has one of those free vans that'll take him home.
我能打电话叫残疾人接送车送他回家
It's the surfer asking me out to dinner!
冲浪男约我去吃饭呢
And he thinks he can get us into the hot, new spot,
而且他说能带我去那间超火的新餐厅
Harlow and daughters.
哈洛与女
Oh, that's that trendy restaurant that replaced
就是取代本来那家美味热狗连锁餐厅的
a perfectly good Hot Dog On a Stick.
新开张潮流餐厅嘛
Good night, broke ass divas.
晚安 一屁♥股债姐妹花
Good night, brokeback waiter.
晚安 断背服务生
I'm gonna go get a massage,
我要去做个按♥摩
And then, who knows? Maybe give one.
之后就不知道了 也帮人"按两下"吧
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm coming back here pregnant.
我糊谁呢 我肯定被人搞大肚子回来
Luis, can you work for me tomorrow?
路易斯 明天可以帮我代班吗
Absolutely not, no.
当然是不行
Oleg's working, and I'll ask him to wear his fishnet tank top.
奥列格明天上班 我会叫他穿渔网背心
Then yes.
那好
Dinner with a cute guy
跟帅哥一起吃晚饭
who has connections to the "A" list place?
而且还在抢手餐厅有人的帅哥
I'm living my old life.
感觉又回到了以前的生活
Hey, everybody.
大家好吗
Did your old life have one of these?
你从前生活也有这玩意吗
Caroline, what is my number one diner rule?
卡洛琳 我餐厅的头号规矩是啥
Don't tell anyone the meat isn't real?
别告诉别人我们用假肉吗
Come on. If you can see it, it's real.
哪有啊 你们眼能见 就是真的啊
Don't tell anyone you buy the shrimp
别告诉别人你是从朋友后车厢
out of your friend's trunk?
买来的虾子吗
He lays down a blanket! No.
他有垫一层布 不是这些啦
No phones.
是不许用手机
Max, he got us the reservation!
麦克斯 他订到位了
I'm going to dinner at the new "it" place.
我要去最新的潮店吃晚餐了
Ooh, the "it" place!
哎哟 潮店呢
"Let's have dinner at the 'it' place.""
咱们去潮店吃晚饭吧"
How come this isn't the "it" place?
为什么我这里就不是"潮店"呢
This isn't an "it" place.
这里何止不是潮店
It's more of an "it" hole.
这里是"潮坑"吧
Okay, so how do we become an "it" place?
好 那我们怎么能变成潮店呢
First, burn the place down, start fresh.
首先烧掉这店 重新盖过
Then you create hype by making it
然后你要弄起一波热潮
impossible to get a reservation.
让这里能火到位子都订不到
You basically refuse to let anyone in.
基本上就是谁都不让进
Can I be the first?
能第一个不让我进吗
Okay, I've put my date purse together.
好的 我整理好我的约会包了
I've got my gum, my gloss, and a $20 bill
放了口香糖 唇蜜 以及一张20块钞票
to make it seem like I have money,
好显得我不是一分钱都没有
which I will return to the register at the diner tomorrow.
当然我明天就会把钱放回餐厅收银机
Well, you're welcome to use my date purse.
也欢迎你用我的约会包啊
It's a ziploc with a cigar and a change of boxers.
是一个装着雪茄与四角裤的密封袋
And my phone is fully charged,
我的手机电也充好了
so I can call an uber car to take me home.
确保到时候有电叫接送公司
An uber car?
豪华接送公司吗
You can't afford a fancy town car.
你哪有钱叫豪华轿车接送啊
Yesterday, you used an english muffin to exfoliate.
昨天你还用英式松饼去角质呢
Yeah, and then I ate it.
是啊 弄完我还吃了它
Plus, it's on our joint credit card,
而且还是用我们联名信用卡付
which means every time you make a dumb purchase,
每次你犯傻乱花钱
you owe me a joint.
你就欠我一根大♥麻[联名]
I don't want to have him take me home
我不想让他送我回家
and give him the wrong idea.
这样他会误会的
Oh, please do give him the wrong idea.
拜托你让他误会吧
Stay out all night with the surfer.
跟人家冲浪男在外鬼混一夜
ride his half pipe.
滑人家的U型池[不让得逞]
That's not surfboard, that's snowboard.
那不是冲浪 那是雪板滑的场地
Perfect, 'cause I'm snow bored with this conversation.
厉害 因为我也开始觉得雪板[无聊]了
What do you think? These things on full display?
你觉得怎么样 这对宝贝看起来够露吗
I hate to be that roommate,
我不想当小气室友
but I didn't say you could borrow my breasts.
但我有准你借我的胸部去用吗
What? It's just a push up bra, chicken cutlets,
就是集中托高胸罩外加隐形胸罩
a little tissue, and some tape.
再塞一点纸巾 以及贴胶带
You know, natural.
你懂的 纯天然嘛
Just go on your date already!
赶紧滚去约会吧
Nancy and I have been really looking forward to you leaving
我跟南希一直在等你走呢
so we can walk around naked and do some lines of cat nip.
我们要在家脱♥光光 顺便吸吸猫毒品
Ooh, that must be him.
肯定是他吧
Don't worry, he's not coming inside.
别担心 他不会进来
He better not, cause we can't afford a baby.
那最好 我们养不起多一个白♥痴婴儿了
Oh, it's just Sophie.
就苏菲啊
"Just Sophie"?"
就苏菲"
That was the name of my talk show in Poland.
我在波兰的脱口秀就叫这名字
Oh, how I wish I could have been a guest on that show.
真希望我能上你节目当来宾
No, there were no guests. It was just Sophie!
没有来宾啊 "就苏菲"而已
Oh, you getting ready for your big date, Caroline?
卡洛琳 准备好要去重要约会了吗
How did you hear about my date?
你怎么知道我有约会
Oh, well, your voice travels.
你的声音响彻云霄
Yeah, I hear everything that does and doesn't happen
我听得到任何你这里 你"那里"
down here and down there, so...
有发生或"没发生"的事情...
So let's just say I'm very glad that you're going on a date.
总而言之我很庆幸你要去约会
Oh, and I got you a little present.
我给你带了小礼物
Cinnamon mints, for your first kiss.
肉桂薄荷糖 为接吻做好准备
Oh, that's so sweet, Sophie.
你人真好 苏菲
Yeah, and I got you a big grab bag of condoms.
还给你带了一大袋避孕套
I got all sizes.
各种尺寸都有
I got magnums, I got super magnums,
这里有巨号 超巨号
I got regular, and...
也有一般大小 还有...
"He's got a great personality.""
他是以性格取胜"的适用套
Here you go.
那去吧
Usually, a "great personality"
通常 碰到"性格取胜"鸟
is the only birth control I need.
我避之唯恐不及 套套完全可以省掉
Thank you, but I am a lady,
谢谢 但我是个淑女
and I won't be needing these until our third date.
我们约会没超过三次 绝对不会上床
Well, you better hurry up and get dressed.
那你赶紧去换衣服吧
Sophie, I'm already dressed.
苏菲 我已经换好了
You are?
换好了咩
And I like what I'm wearing.
我喜欢我这一身衣服
You do?
是咩
Well, just put on a little makeup.
好吧 那就化点妆
I'm fully made up.
我全化好了
You are?
化好了咩
Oh, well, you know, maybe when you do your hair.
那好吧 那就顺便弄弄头发
Okay, I'm a little behind on my hair.
我头发的确是有点没弄完
My boobs were a bigger project than I thought.
我胸部的工程比我想象中大 所以...
And I like what I'm wearing, and I don't have time to change
我喜欢我这一身打扮 也没时间换了
'cause he's already 20 minutes late.
因为他已经迟到20分钟了
20 minutes late?
迟到20分钟了啊
That's a no show.
那看来是不来了
You've just got stood up.
你被人放鸽子啦
You got stood up somethin' awful.
被人狠狠地放了鸽子
I did not get stood up. I've never been stood up.
我才不是被放鸽子 我从来没被人放过鸽子
In fact, I wouldn't even know if I was being stood up,
而且 就算被放鸽子了我也不会知道
because that's how little I know about being stood up.
因为我完全不知道什么是被人放鸽子
Am I being stood up?
我被放鸽子了吗
No, you are not. Guys are always late.
没有啦 男人很会迟到
I once waited three days for a guy.
我有一次等了一个男的三天呢
But he showed up with the ransom money,
但他带着收到的赎金来了
and you don't see me living in a fridge anymore.
从此我也摆脱住冰箱的生活
Okay, fine.
好吧 行行行
Nobody got stood up.
某人没被放鸽子
So I'll just sit here and text while we wait...
我就在坐在这发发短信 顺便等...
You know, forever.
你懂吧 一辈子
And then, finally, when it dawns on you,
直到你哪天醒悟了
we can call our friend oleg, and he can go put a hit on him.
我们就打给奥列格 让他去下江湖追杀令
You know what, maybe he thought we were meeting there.
他有可能是以为在餐厅见面
I'm calling the restaurant to see
我打去问问看吧
Yes, hi, has a Marc Faison checked in yet?
你好 请问马克·费森到场入座了吗
He has not.
还没
What about now?
那现在到了吗
It's just that he was supposed
因为他本来...
Well, I'm busy too.
我也忙啊
Don't be so snooty,
干嘛这么拽啊
You used to be a Hot Dog On a Stick.
你们那边以前也就是家热狗店
Just a heads up, if he doesn't show,
先说好 就算他没来
I'm still getting naked.
我也一样会脱♥光
Ooh, there he is!
他的短信
No, it's from Amazon.
不 是亚马逊的通知
Someone's sending me a copy of He's just not that into you.
有人送了我一本《他其实没那么喜欢你》
Yeah, I'm here for you, girl.
是啊 姐在这挺你
Well, I got stood up.
好吧 我被放鸽子了
Remember where you are, Max.
记得你现在所在地点
This was the day Caroline Channing got stood up.
今日是"卡洛琳·钱宁被放鸽子纪念日"
Well, screw him for standing you up.
管他这个放你鸽子的王八蛋
And from now on, never trust a guy
而且从今往后 永远不许再相信
who surfs anything besides porn.
冲[找]任何非黄♥片以外东西的男人
Oh, look, Harlow and Daughters
你看 "哈洛与女"
Has a real old timey, general store kind of vibe.
这店好有旧时杂货店的那种范儿
I guess they take "Throwback Thursday"
看来他们很认真在办这个
really seriously here."
怀旧周四之夜"啊
I mean, it's 1840.
简直就像重返1840年
Yeah, I wanted to take you back to a time
是啊 我想带你穿越回
before you were stood up.
你还没被放过鸽子的时候
Thank you for making me take the reservation, Max.
麦克斯 谢谢你鼓励我来这里
I mean, otherwise, I was just gonna
不然我本来打算
get in bed and be depressed.
趴床上自怨自艾呢
You were in bed and you were depressed.
你刚就是趴在床上自怨自艾啊
Don't rewrite history just 'cause these folks have.
别学这帮人一样 搞重写历史好吗
I mean, we are smack in the belly of Williamsburg ironic chic,
我们正在威廉斯堡讽刺的潮流中心里
and I want to smack it.
我真想拍死他们
Look, they even have a country clothesline
他们还有这乡下风晒衣绳
Hung with baby clothes.
还吊着婴儿衣服
We should get this for Han.
我们应该带这件回去给阿憨穿
I mean, that is the most pretentious thing I've ever seen.
这玩意简直是我看过最"装"的东西了
Hi, welcome to Harlow and Daughters.
欢迎来到哈洛与女餐厅
I'm the host, Brian Brian.
我是招待员 布莱布莱恩
No, that is.
这才是最装的
Yes, hi, um, Brian Brian.
你好 布莱布莱恩
We have a reservation. Faison, party of two.
我们有订位 费森 两人
Is your whole party here?
你们都到齐了吗
Well, I don't know how whole I could ever hope to be,
我不知道我这这人能有多完整[到齐]
as I'm illegitimate.
因为我是私生的
Yes, we're both here. Thank you.
是我的 我们俩都到齐了 谢谢
So both you and Mr. Faison are here?
所以你与费森先生都到了是吗
Yes, I'm transitioning. Ask around.
我在变性过渡期 你可以去问人
You can have a drink,
你们先去吧台喝点东西吧
and I'll call you when your table is ready.
等有位子了我就叫你们
Thank you, thank you, Brian Brian.
谢谢 谢谢 布莱布莱恩
I'll be right over.
我很快过去
Go use your new boobs to get us a seat at the bar.
用你的新咪♥咪去帮我们搞两个座位
Hi, I know what "wait by the bar" means.
你好 我知道"在吧台等带位"的意思
I've been working in restaurants
姐在餐厅做服务员时
since your clothes were in style.
你这身衣服还没过时呢
It means I'll seat you when your
那句话的意思就是等有位了 我就带...
Brian Brian, Bri Bri, B.B., come on.
布莱布莱恩 布莱布莱 小布布 别假了
You and I both know there's no guy coming.
我和你都知道不会有男人来
My friend got stood up, so please don't make things worse.
我的朋友被人放鸽子了 所以
请不要雪上加霜
Just take out your cool, little hunting knife
快把你酷劲十足的小猎刀拿出来
and cut us some slack.
帮我们一把吧
This is where I'd tip you with cash or offer you sex,
我本想给你点小费 或是肉偿这份人情债
but I'm kinda broke and you're kinda gay,
但我是个穷光蛋 而你是个同性恋
so just be nice.
所以你就当做善事吧
We don't really need to bring my sexuality into it.
其实真的没必要牵扯到我的性取向
I understand, it's hard to be out 100 years ago.
了解 一百年前出柜的确很辛苦
Oh, funny.
有意思
Right this way, Mr. Faison.
这边请 费森先生
Wow, that was quick. They're so nice here.
这么快就有位子啦 他们人真好
Yep, just regular folks,
对啊 都是些普通人
sitting around designer pickle barrels.
坐在设计师设计的咸菜桶上
All right, here's your table. Have a seat. Sure, where?
这是你们的位子 请坐 坐哪里
On these Amish birthing stools we're all calling chairs?
坐在我们称为椅子的阿米什产凳上吗
Stick to the gay jokes.
继续取笑同性恋就够了
Our wifi password is on the ox hide.
我们的无线密码写在牛皮上
Your waitress will be right over.
服务员马上就来
Max, a waitress will be right over,
麦克斯 服务员马上过来服务咱们
and it won't be us.
而不是咱们服务别人
Look, dirty sawdust floors.
瞧 脏兮兮的木屑地板
If we got a bag of wood chips,
如果我们有一麻袋的木屑
our apartment could be the new "it" place.
咱们家也能成为新的潮店
Hello, my name is York.
你们好 我叫约克
Hard to believe, but a man named Brian Brian
真是难以置信 但布莱布莱恩这个名字
has been dethroned.
在"装"这方面完败给她了
York? That's fun.
约克 有趣的名字
"York" as in "New"?
是"纽约克"的"约克"吗
York as in York. Just York.
是"约克[郡]"的"约克" 别想太多
So what's this bit?
那你这身穿着又是怎么回事
Okay. Well, um, York,
好吧 约克
we'd like to start with some drinks.
我们想先点点喝的
Having a girls' night out.
今晚是闺蜜之夜
All the single ladies put ya hands up!
所有单身女性 请把手举起来[碧昂丝歌曲]
Yeah, you can't force it.
好吧 这不能强求
Our special libation this evening
我们今晚的特饮是
is "The small pox.""
小瘟疫[天花]"
It's absinthe, cloves, orange bitters
是将苦艾酒 丁香 桔子苦汁
hand muddled in a mason jar.
放入玻璃罐 用手搅拌
擅长拍摄苦乐参半的悲喜剧形式电影
Was that drink directed by Wes Anderson?
这酒是韦斯·安德森导演的作品吗
Can we just get two of your "Ye olde" cheapest beers
能尽快给我们上两杯你们最便宜的
as soon as possible?
"古老"啤酒吗
Because Dr. Quinn, I need some medicine, woman.
因为女医生 我到时间吃药啦
源自电视剧《Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman》 讲述的是1867年一位女医生的故事 跟服务员的造型是同一年代
York, does the special soup have any garlic?
约克 特制浓汤里面有蒜吗
Oh, my God, no way!
天啊 不是吧
What? Is someone making soap?
怎么了 有人在做肥皂吗
No. No garlic?
不是 不吃蒜
You still think the surfer's coming.
你还在幻想那个冲浪男会出现
Well, he might.
他可能会来啊
See, I was supposed to have a date with this guy
我今晚本来是要跟这个男的约会
You don't care. So, the soup?
说了你也不在乎 那说回汤吧
Actually, I'm just taking drink orders right now.
老实说 现在只能点饮品的
Wow, who loved you?
真是爱死你了
Eh, I'm guessing she never went to a father/daughter dance
我猜她从未跟贩毒给她妈的毒贩子
with her mom's weed dealer.
一起参加过父女交谊舞会
You don't know, Max. Maybe he lost his phone
你又不知道 麦克斯 或许他手机丢了呢
and he didn't have my number, so he's on his way running here.
他联♥系不上我 所以他正跑着赶过来
You think he's just gonna rush in soaking wet
你觉得他会浑身湿哒哒地冲进来
and be like, "Oh, I'm so sorry. The traffic was terrible.
然后跟你说 "抱歉 堵车了
The waves were bumper to bumper."
车浪也一波接一波地迎来"
This is not a Katherine Heigl movie.
这可不是什么烂俗爱情片
Sorry, "movie."
抱歉 是"电影"
Fine, he's not coming.
好吧 他不会来了
And I'm not getting into the Katie Heigl thing.
我也不会陷入那种烂俗情节幻想中
Not here, not now. Let's just enjoy our acorns.
反正此时此刻不会 我们吃橡子吧
Ooh, "Blocked number."
哎哟 "未显示号码"
Maybe it's him. Hello?
也许是他哦 你好
Hang up. He's not coming.
挂掉 他稳逼不会来了
Our drinks are right there.
我们的酒都好了
I can see them over yonder, on ye olde bar.
就在那 在古老的吧台上
It's been an hour, where is our waitress, Lizzie Borden?
都过了一个小时了 我们的服务员丽奇·伯顿呢
美国加州1892年一起命案的嫌疑犯
Probably in the back deciding
可能在后面算计着
which words to pronounce weirdly.
要把哪个字读得很怪异吧
I'm starving. Bust out those chicken cutlets.
我要饿死了 把你的鸡排[隐形胸罩]拿出来吃
No wonder they don't have any bad Yelp reviews.
怪不得点评网站上没有这家店的差评
No one's ever tasted their food.
没人能吃着他们的食物
Hi. Um, our drinks?
你好 我们的酒呢
And did you ask the chef about the soup?
你有问厨师汤的事吗
You know, I haven't had a minute.
我很忙的
She hasn't had a minute?
她居然说自己很忙
What's she been doing, dancing with wolves?
她在忙什么 与狼共舞吗
电影《与狼共舞》描述着1860年代的故事
I mean, have you ever?
请问 你们有没有
I know, can you even?
就是 你们能不能
Byron and I have been here forever,
我和拜伦坐在这里好久了
and have yet to see our dandelion chickpea foie gras.
还没有等到我们的蒲公英鹰嘴豆鹅肝
He's hypoglycemic and I'm Lila.
他是血糖过低 我是莱拉
And I'm pissed. I'm getting our drinks.
而我是气坏了 我要去拿我们的酒
Would you get us some wine? Oh, sure, what kind?
能给我们拿点白葡萄酒吗 当然 要什么
A chardonnay for me,
我要夏敦埃
and Byron will have a sauvignon blanc. Max, no,
拜伦要白苏维浓 麦克斯 别去
they'll kick us out and
他们会把我们赶出去的 这样的话
And what? What, Caroline?
这样的话是怎么样 卡洛琳
You won't be here when he arrives?
等冲浪男来的时候 你会不在吗
Dear lord, the man is not coming!
上帝啊 那个贱男不会来了
I know that, Max, and he's not coming because he died.
我知道 麦克斯 他不会来是因为他死了
He died, that's the only reason I can accept.
他死了 这是我唯一能接受的理由
What's up? How we all doin' tonight?
你好啊 今晚过得如何
Not so good.
不是很好
My girlfriend just broke up with me.
我的女朋友刚跟我分手
Oh, yeah? You like blondes?
是吗 你喜欢金发妞吗
'cause I got one who's ready to pop.
我正好认识一个好勾搭的妞
No, man, I'm into Asian chicks.
不必了 我喜欢亚洲妞
Yeah, who isn't?
谁不喜欢
Except for Asian guys.
除了亚洲男人吧
Hey, do me a favor, just wait a minute,
帮我个忙 几分钟后
and then come over to my table and flirt with my friend.
去我那桌 跟我的朋友调情
Why would I do that?
我为啥要这么做
On the house.
请你喝
Is that the "Dandelion chickpea and other things
这是那道叫"蒲公英鹰嘴豆和其他
that don't belong in a dish together" thing?
不应该放在一起煮"的菜吗
All right, your dandelion chickpea,
你们的蒲公英鹰嘴豆
a chardonnay, and a sauvignon blanc. Enjoy.
一杯夏敦埃 一杯白苏维浓 请享用
What do you think you're doing?
你这是在干嘛
Waiting on tables. Look into it.
服务顾客 好好学学
York, York, don't be mad.
约克 约克 别生气
Byron was starving and we're thirsty.
拜伦饿坏了 我们也渴坏了
Don't kick us out, we're too weak to go anywhere else.
别赶我们出去 我们没力气走出这个门
The soup has garlic.
汤里面有蒜
Oh, then no. The salmon, please.
那就不要了 麻烦来份三文鱼
Bring her the damn soup, she ain't kissing nobody tonight.
把汤端上来 她今晚不用跟任
何人接吻
And I'll have the free range chicken
我要一份以为自己能逃出生天的
that thought it had a chance.
自由散养土鸡肉
For your help. Byron wants you to have it.
谢谢你帮忙 拜伦给你的
Well, Byron is the only real old fashioned thing in here.
拜伦是这里唯一真正的守旧派
I hope you both survive the winter.
希望你们俩能活过这个冬天
Hey, can I join you?
我能加入吗
Ooh, I think that "Can I join you?" was to you.
我觉得他那句话是对你说的
Oh, sure, have a seat.
当然可以 请坐
You're pretty. You have a good body.
你真漂亮 你身材真好
Wow, thank you.
谢谢你
That's actually kind of nice to hear,
老实说这话听得很舒服
because this is hard to believe,
因为虽然这难以让人置信
but I got stood up tonight,
但我今晚被人放鸽子了
and it kind of makes me feel good
而你夸我漂亮和身材好
when you say I'm pretty and I have a good body.
让我心里感觉好多了
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
Oh, I'm on Tinder. It's the straight Grindr.
我在玩"陌陌" 是异性♥交友版的"磨磨"
I just got a hit. Well, I'm out.
有人对我有兴趣 我要走了
Thanks for the drink.
多谢你的酒
You paid a guy to say I'm pretty?
你居然花钱请人来夸我漂亮
And then he blew me off?
而那个人又丢下我跑掉
Oh, my god. I just realized something upsetting.
天啊 我刚意识到一件令人沮丧的事
What, that we could be enjoying
什么 我们本可以吃
delicious hot dogs on sticks right now?
美味的热狗棒吗
No, I'm a "B."
不 我是个"B"
No, you're an "A."
才怪 你是A[罩杯]
That bra just makes you look like a "B."
只不过这个胸罩让你看起来像是B罩杯
No, I mean me, as a woman.
不 我是说作为女人
I'm a "B."
我拿到的分数是"B"
You know, all this time, I kinda thought I was an "A,"
一直以来 我都觉得自己是"A"
but maybe I'm just a "B."
但或许我只是个"B"
That's why he walked away and why the surfer stood me up.
所以他走掉 所以冲浪男放我鸽子
Caroline, I really want to be here for you right now,
卡洛琳 虽然我现在真的很想陪着你
but I gotta get a gin fizz to the prospector in the corner.
但我得给角落的矿工拿一杯杜松子汽水酒
Max, am I a "B"? Why didn't he come?
麦克斯 我真的是个"B"吗 为什么他不来
All I know about that surfer is that he is a "D"
我只知道那个冲浪男是个
followed by three other letters.
后面还有三个字母的"D"
I'd spell it out for you,
我本想把这个词说出来的
but I'm literally afraid I'd get it wrong.
但我真担心我会拼错[dick贱♥人]
Interesting that you didn't say I wasn't a "B."
奇妙的是你居然不直接说我不是"B"
Look, I don't give myself letters in life.
听着 我这辈子从来不给自己评分
To me, it is clearly a pass/fail situation.
对我而言 只有过关和失败两种情况
And you're sitting up,
而你还能直起身坐着
not drooling on yourself, so pass.
没有流口水到自己身上 这就是过关
Well, well, well,
哎哟 稀客啊
where have you ladies been all night?
你们俩姑娘整晚去哪儿了
I don't know, I'd say somewhere between 1846 and 1860.
我不知道 大概是1846年到1860年之间吧
And it is so great to be back in 1
974.真高兴回到1974年
Well, Han, you did a good job of making this place exclusive.
阿憨 厉害啊 把这地方弄得像是人少的潮店
There is literally nobody here.
严格说来 就是空无一人
It wasn't my doing, there was a possum in the men's room.
不是我♥干的 刚男厕有只负鼠
Correction, there is a possum in the men's room.
纠正一下 那只负鼠现在还在男厕呢
Oh, the ingredients are escaping the kitchen again?
食材又跑出厨房啦
Well, I gotta go to the men's room
我得去男厕
and pull out the possum.
把[裤中]那只"负鼠"抓出来
Oh, is that what you do when we're not here?
我们不在的时候 你是不是也都这么干
Okay, let's sit down in that authentically
好吧 我们去真正上了年头的
run down old booth and eat something.
破旧卡座里坐着 吃点东西吧
Yeah, see, those stains aren't fake, that's real blood.
瞧 这些污渍不是假的 那可是真血
I was right here when that guy got stabbed.
那个男的被捅的时候 我就在这
Like I said at the time, "Call me 'honey' one more time,
记得当时我说 "再叫老娘宝贝
and I will stab you."
我就捅死你"
You know what I just realized?
你知道我刚意识到什么吗
Even if I am a "B," at least I'm an authentic "B."
即使我是个"B" 至少我也是个真正的"B"
I don't pretend to be something I'm not.
我不会去伪装自己
You do kind of pretend to be something you're not.
你的确是在伪装自己
A "B."
你不是"B"[罩杯]
Finally, I have some customers.
终于有顾客上♥门了
You know, I've been sitting in the back
我一直在后厨坐着
watching Oleg shuck his corn all night?
看着奥列格在拨玉米皮[打飞机]
Thank you.
谢谢啦
Now, Luis knows how to give service.
路易斯就知道该怎么"服务"他人
Come on, chica, don't set me up like that, it's too easy.
拜托 小妞 不用这样 太没挑战性了
Max, I think I'm gonna let go of letter grading myself
麦克斯 我打算不再用字母给自己评分
and adopt your pass/fail system.
我要采用你的过关和失败系统
And sitting with you right here is so not a fail.
跟你一起坐在这里 绝对不是失败
Oh, it's just Oleg and Sophie.
是奥列格和苏菲
Oh, my god! You looked 'cause you thought
天啊 你刚才的样子就像
it was gonna be the surfer! Epic fail!
你以为是冲浪男来了 超级大失败
Hey, what are you two doing together?
你们俩在一起干嘛
Oh, Sophie and I had some business to take care of.
我和苏菲有点事情要处理
Right, Sophie?
对吧 苏菲
Oh, yeah. Caroline, we got your back.
没错 卡洛琳 我们支持你
That Mike won't be out there surfing again for quite a while.
那个麦克很长一段时间都不能去冲浪了
The surfer's name isn't Mike. It's Marc.
冲浪男叫马克 不是麦克
No wonder he kept screaming, "My name is not Marc!"
怪不得他一直在大喊 "我不是马克"
Well, I'll tell you one thing,
告诉你一件事
we may have seen a lot of fake things tonight,
今晚我们可能看见了很多假东西
but that's a for real possum.
但那绝对是一只真负鼠
Wow, Han's possum is bigger than I thought it would be.
阿憨那只"负鼠"比我想象中大多了