可爱的猫成员

Max. No,
麦克斯 不
don't come over here with that "I'm the boss,
少来我面前摆出那"我是老板
you are the waitress" look,
你是服务员"的姿态
'cause I could just as easily give you
因为老娘也可以立刻回敬你
the "I'm the murderer, you're the victim" look."
我是杀手 你是待宰羔羊"的姿态
The muscular woman at table two
第2桌的金刚芭比
is sending her bagel back.
退了她的贝果
She said she ordered a plain one.
她说她点了原味儿
I'm sorry, did you say she wanted a multi grain?
抱歉 你说她点的是杂粮口味吗
No, plain.
是原味儿
Whole grain?
全麦口味吗
No, plain.
是原味儿
Garlic? No.
大蒜口味 不是
The plain! The plain!
就原味儿 原味儿啊
It took me two years,
虽然等了两年
but I finally got him to say it.
但终于让他说出口了[捉弄阿憨口音]
Are you telling me you don't hear that cat?
别告诉我你没听到那猫叫声
We have to let it in.
我们得放它进来
It's clearly a stray,
明显是只流浪喵星人
or this marine I met last week at a blood drive.
或是我上周在捐血车附近碰到的海军男
Last week there was a man outside our door screaming,
上周有个男的在门外大喊
"I've been stabbed,""
我被人捅了"
and all you did was yell, "shut up."
而你只是回敬他一句"闭嘴"
Because he said, "I think I've been stabbed""
因为他说他"好像"被人捅了
You're either stabbed, or you're not stabbed, my friend.
要么是被捅 要么是没被捅 朋友
Listen, it sounds like the cat's saying hello.
你听 那个喵星人像是在说"哈喽[你好]"
Hello, hello.
哈喽 哈喽
Listen, it's talking.
你听 它在说话呢
It's saying, "Help. Can I come in"
它在说"帮帮我 让我进来"
Really?
是吗
'cause I think it's saying,
我觉得它是在说
"I'm fine. Go back to sleep.""
我没事 你们回去睡吧"
Come on, it clearly just said,
你听 这句明显是在说
"Let me in. Ignore the blonde."
让我进来 别理金发妞
She's a bitch"
她是个贱♥人"
Look, you can't just let in everything
你不能有人来我们家门口
that shows up at our door and says hello.
说声"哈喽" 就让他进来吧
Yeah, I can. I've done it.
为啥不行 姐就这么干过
Max, we can't.
不行 麦克斯
We can't become cat ladies.
我们不能变成猫痴女
And it always starts out innocently,
这一开始都是发善心
rescuing a stray,
救一只小野猫
but then you have to get another one
但之后就得再弄一只
so that they can entertain each other while you're at work.
去上班时它们才有个伴
And then somewhere along the line, four more sneak in,
接着不知不觉 就多混了四只进来
and you think, "We're good. We're cool.
你会想 "没事啦 没问题的
We're the cute girls with six cats."
我们是有六只猫的姐妹花"
And then, one day, there you are on Animal Cops,
之后某天就是你上了《动物警察》节目
动物星球频道的节目 拯救居住于饲养环境 主人照顾不周环境的宠物
screaming, "Don't take my babies!
哭喊"别带走我的小天使
These 27 angels is all I got!"
这27只小天使是我的一切"
That's how it goes, Max.
事情就会是这样 麦克斯
Once you get one, you get 27.
一旦收留了第1只 最后就会变成27只
Not true. Really?
才不是呢 是吗
How many garden gnomes do you have under your bed?
那你床下收了多少只花园矮人[庭园摆饰]
27.
27只
What?
干嘛
They understand I'm only keeping them there
他们理解这只是暂时的 在等我有院子的那天
until I get a yard.
就把他们放出来了啊
Come on. I want a kitty.
拜托嘛 我想要一只小喵喵
Kitty for Max. Kitty for Max.
麦麦的小喵喵 麦麦的小喵喵
Max, we already have a horse.
麦克斯 我们已经有匹马了
We can't afford another animal.
我们养不起新宠物了
We're broke. Come on.
咱们没钱 拜托嘛
Chestnut needs a friend.
栗宝需要一个朋友
He is dying to trash us to someone,
他超想跟别人吐槽我们
and all he's got is that rat
但对象只有那只
who is super self involved.
只管自家事的老鼠
Who the hell is that? It's so late.
是哪个王八蛋啊 都这么晚了
It's probably the cat,
可能是那喵星人
or the guy who's raping girls in Brooklyn.
也可能是布鲁克林连环强♥奸犯
Open the door, and roll the dice.
开门看运气吧
Oh, please.
拜托
Please, somebody tell me
拜托告诉我
they killed that damn cat.
有人已经宰了那只贱猫
And where did it learn how to say hello?
还有 那只猫去哪里学说"哈喽"的啊
Told you.
我就说吧
It's been keeping me up all night.
被它害得我整晚不能睡
This poor cat has been crying at our door
这可怜的喵星人在我们门外
every night trying to get in,
叫了好几晚想进来
trying to get a little warm milk,
想蹭两口温牛奶
maybe a skosh of tuna.
可能再加两口鲔鱼
Max, that's our dinner tomorrow.
麦克斯 那是我们明天的晚餐
Wait. Be careful.
等等 你们要小心
A cat is not always a cat.
猫不见得一定是猫
Oh, please continue.
请继续往下说
In Poland, we believe if you die outside,
在波兰 我们相信如果你横死野外
you're reincarnated as a cat.
你会转生为一只猫
Am I the only one who thinks Poland
我是唯一觉得波兰
sounds like a real freak show?
像出奇人异事秀的地方吗
So never let a cat in,
绝对别让猫进来
because it's just a person that's been reincarnated and will bring in all the bad jews？
因为那只是某个转生的人会带各种"坏犹太"进来
I think you mean juju.
你是想说坏运气吧
Oh, do I?
是吗
Nighty night.
晚安啦
Look, we just have to put up with it,
我们只需要忍它一会
and after a while, it'll go away on its own.
等上一阵 它就会自己走掉了
Go away on its own?
自己走掉
It's a stray cat, not my father.
它是流浪喵星人 不是我老爸
Good night, Max.
晚安 麦克斯
Fine. No kitty for Max.
行 麦麦没小喵喵
No kitty for Max.
麦麦没小喵喵
See, Max, I told you the cat would stop.
麦克斯 你看 我就说它会消停吧
Max?
麦克斯
Max.
麦克斯
Can we keep it, mom? Can we keep it?
妈 我们能养它吗 能养吗
Earl, you don't want a cat, do you?
厄尔 你不会想要一只喵星人吧
A cat? God, no.
喵星人 我死都不要
Cats steal your weed.
喵星人会偷你的大♥麻
See, Caroline?
卡洛琳 你看
Nobody wants the cat.
没人想要喵星人
We're keeping it,
我们来收留它
now
现在 音似meow喵
and I think we should start celebrating right meow.
我觉得现在可以开始办庆喵宴了
Max, you didn't even try to convince him.
麦克斯 你都没试着说服他
Come on, Earl.
拜托 厄尔
Don't you want a cat?
你不想要只猫吗
Kitty for Earl. Kitty for Earl.
厄尔来只小喵喵 厄尔来只小喵喵
I'm too old to have a cat.
我老得不能养猫了
I'm about six months away
我估计再过个半年
from crapping in a box myself.
我就得拉屎在"人"砂盆里了
Oleg, how do you feel about cats?
奥列格 你对猫有何感觉
Loved it. Saw it nine times on Broadway.
爱死了 去百老汇看过九次
《猫》是世界上最成功的音乐剧之一 所有的演员都扮成了猫
Very clever show,
很有才的音乐剧
but a little expensive.
但有点贵
The most I've ever paid to see a pussy dance.
这辈子花最多钱看的猫[下阴]跳舞
So far we're keeping the cat.
目前还是我们收留喵星人
Hey, Han, do you want a cat?
阿憨 你想要只猫吗
You could finally have a friend your own size.
你终于能有个跟你一个大小的朋友了
Come on, you could ride it to work.
来嘛 你能骑它来上班呢
No, I can't have a cat.
不 我不能养猫
They're lazy, moody, and judgmental.
它们懒惰 脾气坏 又爱鄙视人
I don't need another you.
简直就是你的翻版
Plus, they don't show affection. Sure they do.
而且它们又不会表达爱意 当然会啊
You just have to know how to get it out of them.
你知道怎么让它们展露就行了
Cats love to be lightly spanked on their bottom.
喵星人喜欢被人轻轻打屁♥股
I don't understand why a cat would like that.
我无法理解猫为什么会喜欢那样
It's so mysterious.
太难懂了
Kitty. Kitty. Kitty kitty kitty.
喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵
Kitty. Kitty. Kitty kitty kitty.
阿喵 阿喵 阿喵阿喵阿喵
Well, I can't have a cat.
我还是不能养猫
I work all the time.
我整天得上班
Why did I like that so much?
我为什么会喜欢刚才那种感觉
I don't know.
不知道
Something with boobs was touching you.
因为被有咪♥咪的人碰了吗
People with boobs touch me.
也有别的有咪♥咪的人碰我啊
She means aside from your mom.
她指除了你妈以外的人
Then, no.
那就没了
Well, we've asked everyone we know,
我们问过所有认识的了
and now I'm depressed, because this
问完我好伤感 因为这些人
is everyone we know.
就是我们所有认识的人
Let's start asking people in the diner.
开始问餐厅里的人吧
We need to find it a place to live.
我们得为它找个家
Why?
为什么
Why can't it live right here in my arm
为什么它不能住在我怀里
in between my hot and naturals?
睡在我天然火♥辣胸器之间
Kitty. Kitty. Kitty kitty kitty.
喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵
I have to admit, that does feel kind of good.
我得承认 感觉是挺爽的
Excuse me.
打扰一下
I overheard you two asking people
我听到了你们在问人
if they want a cat,
有没兴趣收留猫
And I'd really love one.
我真的很想要一只
Really? Well, we have your cat.
真的吗 我们正好有一只
Whoa. Whoa. Not so fast.
等等 等等 别着急
I got a couple of questions first.
我得先问几个问题
Do you smoke?
你抽烟吗
Yes.
抽
Drink?
你喝酒吗
Yes.
喝
Prescription drugs.
处方药呢
Occasionally.
偶尔
Forget the cat.
别管喵星人了
Will you take me home?
带我回家吧
Kitty, you're gonna love this lady.
喵喵 你会喜欢这小姐的
She smokes, drinks, does prescription drugs,
她抽烟 喝酒 又嗑处方药
Which we all know means Oxy.
明显是强效止痛药上瘾
Hi.
你们好啊
Oh, my God. These she is.
天啊 她来了
She's purr fect.
她真是太"它喵"可爱了
Come in. Welcome home, you.
进来吧 欢迎回家
See, Max? It's great.
你看 麦克斯 太好了
What the hell is going on in here?
这里是什么情况啊
Look at all these cats
你看这堆猫
crammed in this little space.
塞在这小房子里
It's so sad.
也太惨了
The only thing missing is Sarah Mclachlan
现在就只差萨拉·麦克拉克伦
加拿大知名女歌手 也是防止虐待动物协会的成员 曾为该组织录制过广告与歌曲
singing in the corner.
在角落唱歌了
What? It's fine.
还好吧
There's not that many.
也没这么多
They're attacking!
喵星人袭击啊
Sorry. He loves blondes.
抱歉 他喜欢金发妞
And apparently pooping on the carpet.
还喜欢拉屎在地毯上呢
No, twinkles, no.
不行 闪闪 不可以
Oh, okay, quick introductions.
好吧 我来简单介绍一下
That's Bethany, Radford, Cellars,
这些是 贝贝 福福 窖窖
Franklin, Eleanor,
林林 诺诺
Pudding, Mustachio, Mitzi, Meredith,
丁丁 髭髭 兹兹 梅梅
Baxter, Bernie.
特特 尼尼
She remembers all of their names?
她居然记得他们全部的名字
I don't even remember the name of the guy
我连破我处的男人
I lost my virginity to.
名字都不记得
Best I can do is "coach" something.
我最多就记得是某某教练
Well, Catherine, I think it's lovely
凯瑟琳 我觉得这很有爱
That you have such a big, loving hairy family,
你有个一个庞大又多毛的家庭
kind of like the Kardashians.
跟卡戴珊家族一样
该家族成员众多 体毛浓厚 金·卡戴珊就曾为激光除毛产品代言
There's only 24.
只有24只而已啦
31.
变成31只了
Let's go before one of these rabid cats bites us
在这些狂猫病疯猫咬我们
and we become half human, half cat hybrids
把我们变成流浪街头却从来不冷的
who wander the streets but are never cold.
半人半猫混合体前 开溜吧
We're just gonna go have a little conversation in the hall.
我们得去走廊上讨论一下
And F.Y.I., the mother looks
顺便一说 那只母猫
like she's eating the little one.
好像在吃小猫呢
Just a thought.
我就随便说说
I'm only saying that 'cause it's in her mouth.
但我说的原因是因为那小猫在她嘴里
Mitzi, release!
兹兹 松口
Let's go!
走吧
In less than five minutes,
在刚才的五分钟里
It went from 24 to 31,
就从24只变成了31只
and I saw two cats in the corner
我还看到两只喵星人在角落
doing it doggie style,
用"狗"爬式做♥爱呢
So in two months, we could be looking at 50 cats.
再过两个月 估计就能突破50只喵星人了
Max, you can't get pregnant doggie style.
麦克斯 用狗爬式不会怀孕啦[会的]
Right?
对吧
We can't go back in.
我们不能进去了
There's so much hair in there,
里面毛掉得满坑满谷
I saw a cat using a lint roller.
我看见一只喵星人在用粘毛刷呢
Okay, but if we don't leave her here,
好吧 但如果不把她留在这里
We only have one other option.
我们就只剩一条路了
No, kitty is not going to a shelter.
不行 不许送喵喵去收容所
Why? Lots of cats get adopted
为什么 很多猫都被人收养
and end up in beautiful homes.
然后住进一个漂亮的家
Look, I didn't want to say this,
我不想说出口
but she's not pretty enough.
但她不够漂亮
What are you talking about?
你在说什么呢
She's not pretty enough.
她不够漂亮
Come on, she doesn't have classic good looks,
别这样 虽然她没有经♥典的美猫脸
but she's adorkable.
但也呆萌呆萌的啊
We cannot take her to a shelter.
我们不能送她进动物收容所
She'll die there.
她会死在里面
And, yeah, everyone says they want one with a nice personality,
而且虽然大家都说想要好脾气的
but they really just want a hot, sexy, young kitten
但真正想要的还是性感热辣"小野猫"
who still gets excited about balls in her face.
看到球[蛋蛋]在面前还会很兴奋的那种
Everything okay, ladies?
姑娘们 一切还好吗
No, everything is far from okay.
不 一点都不好
My boots are now UGGs,
我的皮靴变雪地靴了
thanks to all the cat hair in there.
真的谢谢你里面漫天飞舞的猫毛
Ow! Stop it!
不许抓
Sorry, that's Gina.
抱歉 是娜娜
She's bipolar, and she refuses to take her meds.
她有躁郁症 而且还不愿意吃药
Ow! Ow! Stop it, Gina!
快停手 娜娜
I'm sorry, Catherine.
凯瑟琳 对不起了
This isn't gonna work out.
这事情看来是不行了
It's nothing personal.
其实不是你不好
It's just that you're crazy.
只是你是个疯子
Truly, I'm heartbroken.
我真的好心碎啊
I already have a name picked out for her.
我都替她取好名字了呢
Veronica two.
薇薇二号
Ow! Stop it!
停下
I got to go!
我得先进去了
Who wants treat?
谁想吃零食
Um, just so we all know,
我就确认一下
Veronica one committed suicide, right?
薇薇一号是自杀的 对吧
Kitty, we're gonna find you a nice home.
喵喵 我们会给你找户好人家
Want a cat?
想养只喵星人吗
Free cat?
要免♥费喵星人吗
Want a cat?
想养只喵星人吗
You are going to love it here.
你一定会爱上这里的
比佛利山庄有"全世界最尊贵住宅区"称号
Park Slope is like the Beverly Hills of Brooklyn.
公园坡区就像是布鲁克林的比佛利山庄
Here comes a good one.
貌似来了个有钱人
Hey. Want a cat.
想养只喵星人吗
Excuse me?
你刚说什么
Cat?
喵星人
Yeah, I'll take some crack.
好 给我来点可卡因
She said "cat."
她说的是"喵星人"
We're looking for a nice home for a cat.
我们在为一只猫找一个完美的家
Oh, so no crack. No.
所以不是可卡因 不是
Well, why would I want a cat?
我♥干嘛要养一只猫
I'm a crackhead.
老子爱的是嗑药好吗
Well, kitty,
小喵喵
as hard as this is,
虽然这个决定很艰难
I think it's time to let you
我觉得是时候让你
back out there into the world.
重回这个世界的怀抱了
At least we leave you in a rich neighborhood;
至少我们把你放在一个有钱人的住宅区
You'll have a better shot at life.
让你新生活的起点更高
Max, you are okay with this?
麦克斯 你真的狠得下心吗
Well, I was more okay
我当初把我亲戚家的熊孩子
when I did this with my cousin's baby.
扔在街上时 比现在还狠得下心
There you go.
你自由了
Oh, yeah. Move him to the next house.
对 把她放到隔壁房子
South facing sun. Pre war building.
朝南向阳 还是战前风格建筑
She'll love it.
她肯定会喜欢的
There you go.
走吧
You live in Park Slope now.
你现在在公园坡区
You can adopt an African baby
这里的人喜欢收养一个非洲宝宝
and wheel it around in a $
900 stroller.然后把它放在价值900块的婴儿车里到处晃悠
Can you believe that was my plan "B"?
你怎么知道这是我的B计划
Run! Run away.
走 快走开
Go.
走吧
Ah, screw it. She lives here now.
算了 她现在就住这里
Look.
瞧
They have a piano.
这家人有台钢琴耶
You can make videos.
你可以录玩钢琴的视频
You'll be a youtube star.
你肯定会成为网上红猫
Bye, kitty.
再见了 小喵喵
Wow, I'm shocked you didn't stop me.
我真惊讶你居然没拦着我
Stop you?
拦着你
If I had known that was option,
如果我早知道可以这样
I would have had you stuff me in there.
我会让你把我扔到那房子里面
I wonder what kitty's doing
我在想小喵喵现在
in her fancy town house right now.
在她的豪华别墅里干嘛
She's probably snuggling with
她可能依偎在一个
an older gay guy who likes to read.
喜欢阅读的老基佬身旁
You know, 'cause gay guys
因为基佬是现在
are the only ones who still read.
世界上唯一还在阅读的族群
They're probably on the couch right now
他们俩可能窝在沙发上
with A Tale of Two Kitties.
一起看《加菲猫2 双猫记》
I'm proud of us.
我真为我们感到骄傲
We selflessly gave that cat a better life
我们无私地给予了那只猫
than we could ever afford for ourselves.
我们永远也无法给予的好生活
Oh, don't try to get in on that.
别想跟着沾光
I did the right thing.
是我♥干了一件好事
You tried to leave her
你差点把她
at that crazy lady's pussy riot.
扔在那个疯女人的疯猫窝里
Hi. Excuse me.
打扰你们了
Would it be okay if I put this flier next to your window?
我能不能把这张传单贴在你们窗户旁
No. Sure.
不行 当然行
We lost our cat, Jinxy, like,
我们的猫金科希丢了
a week ago in this neighborhood.
大约一周前 就在这附近丢的
Have you seen her?
你们有见过她吗
No. No.
没有 当然没有
I haven't seen a cat in a long time.
我很久没见过猫了
I was just saying to her yesterday,
我昨天还跟她念叨
"I haven't seen a cat in a long time.""
我好久没见过猫了"
Um, how come you didn't have a collar on her?
你怎么会不在她脖子上弄个项圈呢
And where's her I.D. Tag?
她连身份标签都没有
Even my mother had an I.D. Tag on me.
就算是我妈 也会给我弄个身份标签
Well, it was a flea collar, but...
虽然是灭蚤颈圈 但总比...
Why did it take you so long to put the signs up?
你为什么过了这么久才来贴传单找猫
Um, what's happening?
你们是怎么了
Um, here's what's happening:
事情是这样的
we are more than happy
我们非常乐意
to put up this flier of your cat,
把这个寻猫启事贴上
which we have never, ever seen.
虽然我们从来没见过这只小猫咪
I mean, seriously, where did all the cats go?
说真的 现在猫都跑到哪里去了
Queens? Staten Island?
跑到皇后区吗 还是斯塔顿岛
'cause they're not in this neighborhood.
反正它们决不可能在这一带
Okay.
好吧
This was weird.
你们俩好奇怪哦
Is there any way this cat isn't kitty?
这只猫是你的那只小喵喵吗
Nope, that's her.
就是她
Same green eyes, same notch in the ear.
一样的绿眼睛 一样的耳朵轮廓
Hello. Hello.
哈喽 哈喽
Oh, God. Oh, God.
天啊 天啊
Hey, girls. What's shaking?
姑娘们 干嘛在垂头丧气
Not me, 'cause I'm all held in.
我就不会 紧身衣把我包得紧实挺拔
Sorry, Sophie, the cupcake window
抱歉 苏菲 小蛋糕窗口
isn't open during the day.
白天不营业
I don't need your life story.
又不是要你说整段人生经历
I just need a damn cupcake.
老娘就买个小蛋糕而已
Sophie, do you remember that cat
苏菲 你还记得那只
that was crying outside our building?
在我们楼外大声哀嚎的喵星人吗
Yeah, you put it down?
记得 你把它灭了吗
We thought it was a stray,
我们以为她是一只流浪猫
so we tried to find a home for it,
所以我们试图找♥人收养她
but couldn't.
但找不到
So you put it down.
所以你把它灭了
No.
没有啦
We left it in a really nice neighborhood.
我们把它扔在一个超级好的住宅区
Oh, so a rich person put it down?
所以找了个有钱人去灭了它吗
It turns out it wasn't a stray at all.
后来我们发现它根本不是流浪猫
We just met its owner.
我们刚见到了它的主人
This is the cat, Sophie.
这就是那只猫 苏菲
Her name's Jinxy.
她叫金科希
Oh, wait a minute.
等一下
Wait a minute.
等一下
You remember how I told you
你们还记得上次我跟你们说
that if you die outside in Poland,
如果你在波兰横死野外
you come back as a cat?
你会转生为猫
Yeah, that's kind of hard to forget.
记得 这种话很难让人忘记
That's not Jinxy. That's my friend Nancy.
那不是金科希 那是我的朋友南希
Look at her.
你们看
Same green eyes,
一样的绿眼睛
same notch in the ear.
一样的耳朵轮廓
same whiskers.
还有一样的胡须
I don't think that this is Nancy.
我觉得它不是南希
Oh, yes.
就是她
She and I got in a big fight
我跟她大吵了一架
and how she's come back to haunt me.
现在她阴魂不散 回来缠着我了
She died waiting for an apology from me,
她到死都在等我跟她道歉
and now she's back.
而现在她转生回来了
Guess what.
不过
She's not gonna get it.
我死也不会跟她道歉的
Jinxy! Jinxy!
金科希 金科希
Jinxy, come on, girl.
金科希 快出来 小可爱
Look, I said on the phone,
我在电话中有说过
this area is where we randomly spotted her.
我们曾意外在这一带看到过她
I wonder how Jinxy got all the way to Park Slope.
奇怪 金科希怎么会大老远来到公园坡区
Just wait. She's here, I promise.
等着 我保证她就在这
Jinxy!
金科希
Jinxy!
金科希
Nancy.
南希
Nancy! Nancy!
南希 南希
Nancy! Nancy!
南希 南希
Come on, Nancy!
快出来 南希
Nancy, it's Sophie!
南希 我是苏菲
I'm here to apologize!
我来跟你道歉了
Um, what's happening?
这又是玩的哪一出
Oh, my God. It's Nancy.
天啊 南希真出来了
I mean, Jinxy.
我是说金科希
I mean, kitty.
就是小喵喵啦
Hello. Hello.
哈喽 哈喽
Hi, baby.
小宝贝
Kitty, kitty. Kitty kitty kitty.
喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵
What she's doing, they like it.
猫咪都喜欢被这么拍
I know, because I liked it.
我懂 因为我也很喜欢
Anyway, we found your cat.
总之 我们找到了你的猫
Isn't that great?
皆大欢喜了吧
Actually, she's my boyfriend's cat.
其实她是我男朋友的猫
I'm keeping her.
我要留下她
Max, just close your eyes and look away,
麦克斯 把眼睛闭上转过头去
like you do whenever those people ask you
就像每次有人问你
if you have a minute to save the earth.
有没有时间听他们拯救地球的大道理一样
Just stick it in here.
把它扔里面就行
"Just stick it in here"?"
把它扔[插]里面就行"
That's what I say when my hand gets tired.
每次我手累了时 我都这么说
Maxy. Maxy.
麦麦 麦麦
Maxy, Maxy, Maxy.
麦麦 麦麦 小麦麦
Now do me.
现在换你拍我
First of all,
首先
I own the diner now.
现在餐厅归我
Secondly, don't ever do that again.
其次 再也别做这事
I guess I'll just have to spank myself.
看来我只能孤屁自打了
No surprise there.
正常
I hope you're happy.
现在你开心啦
I found Jinxy's owners on Facebook.
我在脸书上找到了金科希的主人
Not one pic of kitty,
里面连一张小喵喵的照片都没有
not even a status update
甚至找到猫了也不更新状态
saying, "We found our cat."
说"我们找到我们的猫了"
But she is more than willing
相比之下
to talk about her Reverse French Manicure
她更喜欢在上面谈论她的法式美甲
and posts pictures of a meal
而且还上传食物的照片
I know she's gonna make herself throw up later.
不过她等下肯定会抠喉咙吐出来的
Come on, Max.
别这样嘛 麦克斯
There's got to be one photo of kitty.
肯定会有小猫咪的照片
You found one?
你找到了吗
No, that manicure is heaven.
没有 但那美甲真漂亮
Max, photos or not,
麦克斯 不管有没有照片
we need to focus on the fact
我们都得面对事实
that the cat is back with the guy who loves her.
那只猫已经回到了爱她的人身边
The guy who loves her?
爱她的人
He doesn't love kitty.
他才不爱小喵喵呢
If he did, why aren't there any pictures of her
如果他爱她的话 为什么他第一次结婚
at his first wedding?
小喵喵都合照到
What, he couldn't spring for a cat tuxedo?
干嘛 难道他买不起猫咪穿的西服吗
They're, like, 20 bucks.
也就20块钱而已
I know because I have one on my garden gnome.
我知道价格 是因为我给我的花园矮人买过
This is not a loving home.
这不是一个有爱的家
Pics, or it didn't happen.
无图无真相
Okay, Max. Okay, just say it.
好吧 麦克斯 你何不直接说
I put the cat in an abusive home.
我把猫扔去了一个虐待家庭
You put the cat in an abusive home.
你把猫扔去了一个虐待家庭
I have a gift for you.
我有份礼物要送你
No way! No way!
不可能 不可能
Oh, yeah, it's Jinxy.
对 就是金科希
It's Nancy. Jinxy was her slave name.
是南希 金科希是她的奴隶名
Oh, Nancy, I missed you.
南希 我想死你了
I missed you so much.
我超级超级想你
What did you do? How did you get her?
你做了什么 你是怎么拿到她的
Well, it was really complicated.
情况有点复杂
I went to their apartment, and I said,
我去他们家 跟他们说
"You don't love that cat,""
你们根本不爱那只猫"
and they said, "You're right. Take it."
于是他们说 "你说得对 送你吧"
Oh, my God!
天啊
Is this what happiness feels like?
这就是幸福的感觉吗
So what made you change your mind?
是什么让你改变了主意
Because two years ago I was outside your door,
因为两年前 我也是在你家门外
saying, "Hello. Hello."
说着"哈喽 哈喽"
And you let me in, and it changed my life.
你让我进门 改变了我的生活
That's kind of different, though,
不过有点不一样啦
because I didn't want to let you in,
因为当时我并不想让你进来
and I did want to let the cat in.
而我是真心想让喵星人进来
But you did let me in.
但你还是让我进来了呀
You let me in, and you gave me food
你放我进来 给我食物
and shelter and love.
给我住处和爱
Not the way I wanted to give to the cat.
我想给小喵喵的远不止这样
Max, are you trying to equate a person's love
麦克斯 你想把人的爱与对猫的爱
with a cat's love?
划上等号吗
Not really.
其实不一样
A cat's love is eternal.
对猫的爱是永恒的
Hey, girls.
姑娘们
I'm heading over to the bodega salad bar.
我要去杂货店沙拉吧
They just added hot ribs and a sneeze guard.
他们上新菜单了 有麻辣排骨和防鼻息食品罩
You need anything?
你们俩需要点什么吗
Sophie, we got the cat back.
苏菲 我们把喵星人带回来了
She was in a house where she wasn't wanted.
她的主人根本不想养她
Oh, yeah.
是吗
That is so Nancy.
跟南希的遭遇一样啊
Sophie, do you want to see the cat?
苏菲 你想见那只猫吗
She's in the apartment?
她现在在你们家里呢
No, no, no.
不 不 不
No, no.
不要
I can't see her right now!
我现在不能见她
It's too much!
超出我的承受范围了
I'm happy for you, Nancy!
南希 我为你感到高兴
But I can't do this right now!
但我死也不会跟你道歉的
Wait, where did the cat go?
等下 猫咪去哪里了
Oh, no, Chestnut.
天啊 栗宝
I left the back door open.
我没关后门
Oh, my God. Look.
天啊 快看
She's on top of Chestnut.
她躺在栗宝的背上
They like each other.
他们喜欢彼此
Why wouldn't they?
肯定会喜欢啊
She's a foxy redhead,
她是性感的红法妞
and he's a stud.
而他是一头种马
You did the right thing.
你做了件好事
Kitty, kitty. Kitty kitty kitty.
喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵
Why do I like that so much?
我为什么这么喜欢这种感觉呀
'cause something with boobs is touching you?
因为被有咪♥咪的人碰了吗