麦克斯见未来公婆

Good morning. Name?
早安 名字
Ha! Not until I see my lawyer.
等我律师到场再说
And by the way, I was with them last night.
对了 我昨晚还跟他们在一起呢
Max, it's just for the spring semester.
麦克斯 这只是春季学期检查而已
Sorry, she watches a lot of Lockup: Raw.
抱歉 她看太多美剧《破茧威龙》了
Uh, actually, I'm here to return checks.
其实我是来还支票的
There is no spring semester.
不会有春季学期了
The pastry school has been closed.
烘焙学校关门了
What?
什么
Feel free to collect any personal items
你们可以进教室
you may have left in the workspace.
把自己的私人物品拿走
You get the weed, I'll get the other weed.
你去拿大♥麻 我去拿另一份大♥麻
This is insane.
这太夸张了吧
How can school be suddenly closed?
学校怎么能好端端的就关门了
Oh, good, John's here. He'll know what happened.
很好 强哥在这 他肯定知道为什么
What makes you think he knows?
你凭什么觉得他会知道
He's a big queen, Max.
麦克斯 他就是个大妈型基佬
He'll know why school's closed,
他绝对知道学校为什么关门
and why Lady Gaga's last album failed.
也会知道为什么女神卡卡上张专辑没火
Where's chef Nicolas?
尼可拉斯大厨呢
France.
法国
With his wife.
跟他老婆回去了
Why is he in France?
他怎么会回法国
Hmm, turns out someone in this room,
貌似在场的某人
maybe someone I'm looking at right over there,
比如我正盯着看的那个人
had an affair with him and his wife found out all about it.
跟大厨有婚外情 被他老婆给发现了
Deke!
迪克
Shocking! I didn't even know chef Nicolas was gay!
不是吧 我都不知道尼可拉斯大厨是基
Oh, please.
别装了
If he was gay, I would've been all over that.
他如果是基 我早扑上去了
Like a gorilla on a breadstick.
像只大猩猩压法国面包棍
Lady, we all know it wasn't Deke.
小姐 我们都知道不是迪克
Okay, yes, yes, fine. It was me.
是是是 就是我
And my parents say I'm loose as a goose.
我爸妈说我骚时 肯定没见过你这狐媚子
But it was not an affair.
但我跟他不是婚外情
We made out once, in six different places,
我们就亲热过一次 在六个不同地点
on eight different occasions,
八个不同的时刻
and then I ended it.
然后我就结束了这一切
You ended that, and you ended this!
你结束了那段奸♥情 也结束了这间学校
All of this! Forget my spatulas!
结束了这一切 再见我的抹刀
Forget my whisk! It's over!
再见我的搅拌器 全结束了
Brigadoon is over!
《南海天堂》[1947年音乐剧]结束了
Thanks, Caroline!
谢谢你全家啊 卡洛琳
You're acting like I'm the only one
你干嘛把我说得像是史上
who ever closed a pastry school down.
第一个害烘焙学校关门的人
Can't you just go to Deke's without me?
你去迪克家干嘛非要拉上我
I'm too down in the dumps.
我的心情像跌入垃圾堆
Then what better place to be than in a dumpster?
这时候去垃圾箱里待着不是很应景吗
And Deke said to make sure to bring you.
迪克也说了 一定得带上你
And relax, it's not a three way situation.
放心 不是让你来搞"三人行"
When we made our three way list,
我们写过三人行对象排行
you were at the bottom with Taylor Swift.
你跟泰勒·斯威夫特一起排在最下面
Well, at least I'm with Taylor.
至少有泰勒跟我作陪
On the three way list, who's above me?
在三人行排行榜上 谁在我之上
Vicki what's her name
那个叫薇琪什么的
from Real Housewives of Orange County.
真人秀《桔子镇贵妇的真实生活》里的那个
Is that the one with all the face work?
整容很夸张的那个吗
You're gonna have to be more specific.
你得描述精确点 她们全是整容货
Welcome, welcome.
欢迎欢迎
Wipe your feet on the way out.
出去时记得擦擦鞋
Deke, I'm warning you right now,
迪克 我先警告你
I am not in a partying mood.
我现在没心情派对
Ain't no party like a Caroline party,
所有派对都比不上卡洛琳派对
'cause a Caroline party don't start.
因为卡洛琳派对从不开始
I'm heavy with guilt,
我有沉重的负罪感
and that cheese omelet we just split.
刚分吃的芝士蛋卷也让我胃部沉重
We're not partying, but I did snatch back the weed,
我们没有要派对 但我有搞回一包大♥麻
'cause I's perfect.
因为我是完美男人
Good. I got it from Earl
很好 我也从厄尔那弄了点
and he says it knocks you out so hard,
据说能让你嗨到昏死过去的大♥麻
he once used it and faked death
他有次用来装假死
to cash in a life insurance policy.
好领回他的人寿保险钱
Well, we might need to do that too after what I did.
我♥干了这样的事 我觉得我们也得来这招了
Deke, I am so sorry about all of this.
迪克 我真的深感抱歉
I am filled with regret
我内心充满了悔恨
and those home fries I just ate.
胃里也"充满"了让我悔恨的薯条
We all so sad pastry school got all closed.
烘焙学校关门大吉我们都好难过
We don't know what to do.
都不知道怎么办了
I know what to do.
我知道怎么做
Eat the pound cake in my purse.
吃我包里的奶油蛋糕
Okay, so we all loved the pastry school, right?
我们都很爱烘焙学校 对吧
Eh, it was all right. No big deal.
还行吧 不算啥大事
No big deal? We had sex in like
什么没那么爱 我们在
every classroom and both stairwells.
每间教室里与两个楼梯间都做过爱
And on Caroline's desk, but, eh, no big deal.
还在卡洛琳的桌上做过 不算啥大事
"Eh," kind of a big deal.
算是事好吗
Was it a Tuesday, on top of the New York Times?
是在某个周二 在我的纽♥约♥时♥报上做的吗
And did you eat my cranberry Clif Bar after?
你们做完还吃了我的蔓越莓棒吗
'Cause I made someone cry about that.
我后来可是让某人惨哭了呢
Okay, yes, it was fun.
是啦 学校是蛮有意思
But it's over, and that's life.
但都结束了 这就是人生
Pastry school, no pastry school, eh, no big deal.
烘焙学校 没烘焙学校 都不算啥事
I'm gonna buy it. What?
我要把它买下来 什么
Yes!
太好了
Yes, I love that frickin' place!
太好了 我他妈爱死那地方了
We had sex on your desk while eating your clif bar.
我们一边在你桌上做♥爱 一边吃了你糖果棒
It was awesome there!
那里真是太棒了
Deke, what are you talking about?
迪克 你是什么意思
I'll ask my parents to buy it as an investment.
我叫我爸妈当做投资 把学校买下来
Caroline, you can run the school.
卡洛琳 你可以管理那学校啊
You're already killing it in the office.
你现在在办公室里就做得超棒
And Max and I can be the badass students
麦克斯跟我可以当校园双霸
who won't take guff from no damn teachers.
完全不屌♥学校里的傻♥逼老师
"How 'bout you stuff the cannoli again, bitch?"
贱♥人 你自己去重做奶油煎饼卷
I own the damn place!"
这学校是老子的"
Wait, is this even possible?
等等 这有可能性吗
I mean, it'll cost millions.
这得花几百万吧
Who cares? He's rich!
管它的 他有的是钱
Now I get the whole idea of money.
现在我懂有钱的意义了
It's lovely!
太爽了
It's the greatest idea ever!
这真是史上最棒的主意了
I know!
对啊
And since we're doing it together,
既然我们要一起搞这个计划
you'll both have to come meet my parents.
你们两个都得来见我爸妈
Max, they've been asking to meet my girlfriend anyway.
反正他们也想见我女朋友很久了
麦克斯
Meet your parents?
要见你爸妈吗
Eh, the pastry school wasn't all that.
烘焙学校也就那么回事儿而已啦
The elevator opens right in your apartment?
电梯居然直通你家公寓
Nope, don't belong here. Hold the doors, Bub!
完全与这里格格不入 等等我 鲍伯
We're okay. Thank you, James.
不必了 谢谢你 詹姆士
Max, just do the opposite
麦克斯 你只需要做
of everything you would normally do.
跟你平常相反的事就行了
I already am. I'm here!
已经做了 不然怎么会来
Deke, hello.
迪克 你好吗
Go, be warm.
去吧 温暖的拥抱
Hello, Mrs. Bromberg. I'm Max.
你好 布朗伯格太太 我是麦克斯
I'm the housekeeper.
我是管家
This is Iris. Been with us for years.
她是艾瑞丝 在我们家很多年了
Well, it was a lovely hug.
但你的拥抱很有爱
I'll tell your parents that you've arrived.
我去通知您父母你们到了
So, what, Max?
怎么 麦克斯
You think any black woman you see here
你觉得这里任何一个黑女人
could be my mother?
都可能是我妈吗
Well, any white man I see anywhere could be my father.
任何一个白人男都可能是我爸呢
Let's go. I already screwed up.
咱们走吧 我已经出丑了
No, you heard Iris. It was a lovely hug.
才没有 你也听到她说了 拥抱很有爱
But then again, she is being paid.
不过她也是拿薪水的
Here, better wear my pearls.
给 还是戴上我的项链吧
Yeah, right!
才不要
Me in those pearls is like a monkey in baby clothes
我戴你项链 就像猴子穿婴儿服一样
Just plain wrong.
太不和谐了
Relax, Max.
麦克斯 放轻松嘛
What, are you crazy, touching me?
你疯啦 这时候碰我
Your mother comes in here right now, and she's like,
如果你妈妈现在走进 就会说
"Oh, there she is, the hooker from the projects..."
就是她 贫民窟的婊♥子
getting it on with our son in the
跟我宝贝儿子在...
What, fancy ass book room?"
高档到爆的书房里厮混"
Deke, you have a Warhol soup can?
你还有知名艺术家的金宝汤罐头画啊
该系列画作价值非凡 墙上这幅若为真品可达千万美金
Uh, yeah, it used to be in my bedroom.
是啊 以前挂在我房间里
It got moved out here after I scotch taped
后来我用胶带在它上面贴星战的海报后
a star wars poster over it.
就被移出来了
Okay, okay.
好了 好了
See, now, here is something we have in common.
你们看 现在我们有共同点了
I used to drink that soup.
我以前也喝过这汤
I can talk about that.
我可以聊这个
Perfect, yeah.
太棒了 好啊
Talk about that.
就聊这个吧
Okay, see, when my mother was on a bender,
以前我妈酗酒的时候
I would bust open the can on the kitchen counter
我都靠砸的来把这罐头打开
'cause I could never find the opener
因为我总是找不到开罐器
'cause she'd use the sharp tip of it
因为她都会拿去用尖端
to clean out her hash pipe.
去清她的大♥麻烟管
Give her the damn pearls. Give me the damn pearls.
妈的快给她戴项链 妈的快给她戴项链
It's just a little help
这只是个小帮手
a signal to the rich people
帮助你给有钱人们发送
that says, "I'm one of you.""
我也是你们的一份子"信号
Like seeing another hells angel wearing a vest
就好像重型机车党看到另一个
with a patch that says, "Suck it, pig."
穿着"去死吧 傻♥逼"的背心 会倍感亲切
Well, Deke better give me a signal
迪克最好在他亲妈走进来时
when his actual mom comes in,
给我个信号
because the way I'm going, I'd hug Oprah.
因为照现在这样子 奥普拉我也会去抱
Oprah doesn't like to be hugged.
奥普拉不喜欢被抱
A mistake I made at her legends ball.
我在她的传奇人物舞会上犯过这错
美国知名女星奥普拉曾在2005举办的 为25位有杰出成就的非裔美国女姓 长达3日的庆祝会
One hug and 20 minutes later,
抱了她一下 20分钟后
my place setting was moved next to La Toya Jackson.
我就被换去坐在拉托亞·杰克逊旁边了
麦克·杰克逊的二姐 事业并不成功
Thanks, girl.
谢谢了 姐妹
You're Max.
你就是麦克斯
I'm Deke's mother, Genet.
我是迪克的妈妈 吉尼特
Uh, mom, this is our friend, Caroline.
妈 这是我们的朋友 卡洛琳
Thank you for inviting us.
谢谢您邀请我们来
Amazing art collection.
您的艺术收♥藏超棒
Oh, thank you.
谢谢夸奖
I'm afraid my husband and I are pop art junkies.
我跟我丈夫算得上是流行艺术脑残粉
I eat soup.
我喝汤哦
Speaking of my husband...
说到我丈夫
David! "I eat soup"?
大卫 "我喝汤哦"
He was right behind me.
他刚才还在我身后呢
Oh, sometimes I swear,
有时候我真觉得
I should just leave a trail of bread crumbs.
我应该在身后留下面包碎的踪迹
That's funny.
真好笑
Okay, hold on a second there, folks.
你们稍等我一下
I'm just sending some business emails.
我在发一些生意上的电邮
Actually, I'm not.
其实不是啦
I'm looking at celebrities without their makeup,
我在看明星卸妆照
and I gotta say, Hugh Jackman?
不得不说啊 休·杰克曼[澳洲知名男星]
Better without makeup.
卸妆比较好看
I'll take that.
我帮你拿着
All right.
好吧
And what's in your mouth?
你嘴里是什么
Sour ball. Give it to me, please.
酸爽糖 请你给我
Genet, I'm a grown man. I can have a sour ball.
吉尼特 我是大人了 吃个酸爽糖没事吧
You asked me to help you stop eating candy.
你叫我监督你不让你吃糖
It's just one sour ball. Spit it out.
就一颗酸爽糖而已嘛 吐出来
I can't. Why not?
做不到 为什么
It's a mini 3 musketeers.
因为其实是迷你巧克力棒
There he is!
他来啦
There's my son,
我的乖儿子
until we get the results of the paternity test back.
但在我们拿回亲子鉴定表之后就不知道了
I love him!
我爱死他了
Ugh, hey, come on.
别这样
No tongue in front of my girlfriend.
别在我女朋友前伸舌头
Max, come over here.
麦克斯 过来抱一个
Fine, but no tongue till after dessert.
行 但要等吃完甜点后才许伸舌头哦
"No tongue till after dessert""
等吃完甜点后才许伸舌头"
She's pretty and funny.
她人又漂亮又幽默
Who's your bodyguard?
你的保镖是谁呢
This is my friend...
她是我的朋友
Mm, help me out. Totally blanked.
替我接话 我脑海一片空白
Oh, she's a little nervous.
她有点紧张
Hello, Mr. Bromberg. I'm Caroline.
你好 布朗伯格先生 我是卡洛琳
Drink before dinner, yes?
用餐前喝一杯 好吗
Yes, but just one.
但一杯就好
But not because I'm pregnant! What?
绝对不是因为我怀孕了不能喝酒哦
Sit, let's talk.
坐下 聊聊吧
Yes, let's sit down,
是啊 都坐下
Have a nice conversation,
好好聊一聊
get to know each other better.
彼此互相认识一下
So, tell me about pastry school.
所以跟我说说烘焙学校的事吧
Yes, tell us about pastry school.
是啊 跟我们说说烘焙学校
Well, we went to class the other day and it was closed,
我们那天去上学 结果发现学校关门了
And John, this big, gay pastry chef, was freaking out.
强哥 一个人很大只的基佬烘焙师都疯了
Max does a great impression of him.
麦克斯很会模仿他
No. No, I don't.
没有 我才没有呢
Yes, Max, it's really funny and totally charming.
麦克斯 你会的 很有趣又很讨喜
Oh, uh, okay.
那好吧
Uh, he's like 6'5"
他大概有196公分吧
Stand. You gotta stand.
站 你得站起来
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
好吧 我站起来
And he had his arms up in the air like this...
他双手像这样 高高举起来
Um, I think his arms were down.
我觉得当时他的手是放下来的
No, they were totally over his head.
不 他双手绝对是 高举过头
Yeah, she's right, they were down.
她说得对 他的手是放下来的
Way down, like a crocodile.
放得特别低 像鳄鱼
Or CeeLo.
或像席洛
席洛·格林 美国著名饶舌歌手 身材矮胖 四肢粗短
What are you talking about?
你们胡说什么
They were way up here.
他双手明明举到这里
Way over his head, and
举过头顶
Oh, yea they were down.
对 他双手是放下的
You know what? I think he was sitting
我突然想到他当时是坐着
And was really quiet.
而且相当安静
Excuse me, I have to use the powder room.
不好意思 我想去一下洗手间
Max, would you come with me? Try and stop me.
麦克斯 你要一起吗 求之不得
Max, it's over here.
麦克斯 这边
We're not making a break for it?
我们不是要逃走吗
Trapped. Trapped like rats.
完了 我们是被困住的小白鼠
What is wrong with you?
你到底怎么回事
Why are you sweating so much?
怎么会出这么多汗
I think we'd be better off just wetting the whole dress.
直接把整条裙子都弄湿还比较好呢
I know. It must be the pearls.
我知道 肯定是这串项链害的
My white trash body is working overtime to reject them.
我这穷逼白人的身体奋起排斥 都累得出汗了
Ooh, okay. Raise your arms.
好啦 把手举起来
Why bother? They already hate me.
别费劲了 他们已经讨厌我了
Max, they do not hate you.
麦克斯 他父母才不讨厌你
Well, they will.
他们会的
This is Tommy Dolan all over again.
汤米·多伦事件又要重演了
Who's Tommy Dolan?
谁是汤米·多伦
And FYI, great upper arm workout.
顺便说一句 这锻炼上臂的方式真棒
He's this rich kid I liked in eighth grade.
他是我八年级时喜欢的富家子
And by rich, I mean his family could afford the acne medicine.
我所谓的富 是指他们家能买得起祛痘药
He asked me out, but his parents said no
他约我出去 但他父母不同意
because I was poor.
因为我是穷人
And, to be clear, that was before I shot the ten BB's
事后我怀恨在心 然后用BB枪
into their front picture window.
冲着他家落地窗打了10枪
Max, you're not in eighth grade.
麦克斯 你已经不是八年级的小孩了
This is a grown up relationship.
这是一段成年人的感情
Tonight's not just about a pastry school,
今晚不光是为了烘焙学校
it's about you and Deke, so get it together.
还是为了你和迪克 所以好好表现
You have a lot on the line, and I have a neck cramp.
这事非同小可 而我脖子抽筋了
Ladies, it's Genet.
女士们 我是吉尼特
Trapped. Trapped like more rats.
惨了 要变成人鼠同笼了
Is everything all right in here?
里面一切还好吗
I didn't take anything.
一切都在 我什么都没拿
I
我...
Caroline, do you mind if I speak to Max, alone?
卡洛琳 我能跟麦克斯单独聊聊吗
Our neighbors have just stopped by.
我们的邻居来了
They've opened a bottle of champagne.
他们还开了一瓶香槟
It's French, wonderful. Enjoy.
法国货 超好喝 慢慢享受
Girl, you need to chill.
小妞 冷静点
Um...uh, excuse me?
你说什么
You have got us all wrong.
你完全误解我们了
You walk in here, see this fabulous apartment
你走进我家 看到这么棒的公寓
and all of this "fabulosity," and you think
还有这么棒的女人 然后
You think I'm some rich bitch.
你就觉得我是那种有钱的贱♥人
I am.
我的确是
But I wasn't born that way.
但我不是生来如此
皇后区穷人多环境差
I am from Queens, New York.
我来自纽约的皇后区
Yeah, that's right, I'm just Genet from the block.
没错 我就是现实版的《吉尼特本色》
《吉尼特本色》是珍妮弗洛佩兹的冠军单♥曲 讲述的是小街区出来的女孩 虽名利双收却不改本色
Wait, then how did you get
那你怎么会有钱到
your own elevator and fish wallpaper?
拥有自己的电梯和鱼图案墙纸
Well, when David met me, I was a dancer.
当大卫遇见我时 我还是个跳舞的
Oh, you mean like on Broadway?
在百老汇里跳吗
Yeah, well, close to Broadway.
在百老汇附近跳
The point is that we fell in love so completely
重点是 我们无法自拔地爱上对方
that I even stopped taking his money after the third visit.
以至于他第三次来光顾时 我都
没收他钱
Tell us, Deke,
告诉我们 迪克
why a pastry school of all things?
为什么偏偏要买一个烘焙学校
Who cares? We're just thrilled
无所谓 他不混马戏团
he's no longer in the circus.
我们就谢天谢地了
Girls
姑娘们
I didn't take anything.
我什么都没拿
Amy and Adam have lived in the building since Deke was little.
迪克还小的时候 艾米和亚当就住在这里了
Mom, don't tell Max I'm little.
妈 别跟麦克斯说我"小"
I've convinced her I've got
我好不容易让她相信
the biggest one she'll ever have.
我是她见过最"大"的
Oh, Deke!
迪克
Naughty, dirty, funny.
又坏又黄又好笑
Andy and I love naughty comedy.
安迪和我喜欢看性喜剧
We watch Bill Maher.
我们常看比尔·马赫[脱口秀]
This pastry school would be
这个烘焙学校
a huge financial commitment, David.
需要投入一大笔钱 大卫
Why don't you just go down to Union Square
你何不直接去联合广场
and light a bag of money on fire?
把一大袋钱烧掉更省事
Mr. Chase, I agree, it's a huge undertaking.
蔡斯先生 我同意这是一个很大的项目
And if you'd like, we can discuss a business plan.
如果你愿意 我们可以讨论一下商业计划
I did graduate top of my class from Wharton.
我是沃顿的优秀毕业生
Wharton. In Philadelphia.
沃顿商学院 位于费城
Philadelphia[费城]在希腊语中的意思是"兄弟之爱"
The city of brotherly love.
兄弟之爱城
And let me tell you, it certainly is.
我告诉你们 那里很多相爱的"兄弟"
Our son, Hunter, went to Wharton.
我们儿子亨特也是沃顿毕业的
He's about your age.
他跟你年纪差不多
I'll text and tell him we've met you.
我要发短信给他 说碰到他的校友了
What is your last name, Caroline?
你贵姓 卡洛琳
Channing.
钱宁
Caroline channing?
卡洛琳·钱宁
Your father isn't Martin Channing,
你父亲不会是马丁·钱宁
the one in prison for the Ponzi scheme?
那个因为庞氏骗局坐牢的骗子吧
Amazing fish! I I love this tilapia.
这鱼真好吃 我爱吃罗非鱼
It's almost a chicken y fish.
这鱼尝起来像鸡肉
Deke, you never told us about this.
迪克 你怎么没告诉我们
What, that the fish was chicken y?
告诉你们什么 这鱼尝起来像鸡肉吗
You know that's why I don't come home anymore.
你们知道这就是我不回家的原因啊
Why would I tell you?
我为什么要告诉你们
She didn't steal the money, he did.
偷你们钱的又不是她 是她爸
Deke does have a point.
迪克说得有道理
It wasn't Caroline, and her father is serving time.
不能怪卡洛琳 而且她父亲也入狱了[上菜]
Ah, speaking of serving, there are like nine forks here.
说到上菜 我面前有九把叉子
Where do I go next?
我应该先用哪一把
It's easy for you to say, Deke. You didn't lose money.
你站着说话不腰疼 迪克 你又没亏钱
Amy and I had to move from the penthouse
我和艾米因为她爸 从顶层公寓
to the fourth floor.
搬到了四层普通公寓
The fourth floor, Deke!
四层啊 迪克
That's three above the doorman.
只比看门的高三层
Only five bedrooms, and I can hear the "Whoosh whoosh"
只有五个卧室 我整晚都能听见
of the damn elevator all night long!
那个该死的电梯发出的"嗖嗖"声
Genet, I cannot believe you would invite
吉尼特 真不敢相信你居然会
a Channing into your home.
邀请钱宁家的人来你家做客
Sir, if you say another bad word about her,
先生 如果你再说一句她的坏话
I'm gonna "whoosh whoosh" you off that chair.
我就让你"嗖"的一声从椅子上摔下来
Max, these are our friends.
麦克斯 他们是我们的朋友
Yeah, well she is my friend,
卡洛琳也是我的朋友
and she's had it pretty rough.
她已经过得够苦的了
And I'm not gonna sit here and let them insult her.
我不会干坐在这里让他们羞辱她
Oh, you only have five bedrooms?
你只有五个卧室吗
Well, she sleeps in the wall.
告诉你 她在墙上睡觉
You rich people are all the same.
你们有钱人都一个德性
Max, take it down.
麦克斯 坐下
You're gonna "whoosh" you did later.
你晚点会"嗖嗖"地为现在的行为后悔
No, Deke. I mean, look at this table.
不会 迪克 你看这张桌子
Seven forks and ten knives, for what?
七把叉子十把刀子 有什么用
You know what we have at our apartment?
你知道我们的公寓有多少餐具吗
Five chopsticks and a spork from Kentucky fried chicken,
五双筷子和一个买炸鸡送的叉匙
and we do fine.
我们完全够用
We don't need to sit here and gravel
我们不需要坐在这里 鞠躬尽瘁
Grovel. Whatever...
是卑躬屈膝 随便啦
For your money or their approval.
求你们的投资 或求他们的同意
All I can say is, you rich people are lucky
我只能说 算你们这些有钱人走运
those cops took my BB gun. Let's go, Caroline.
我的BB枪被警察没收了 走吧 卡洛琳
No, this is my fault. I'll go.
不 这是我的错 我走
No, you know what? We'll all go.
不 我们仨都走
Deacon, sit down.
迪肯 坐下
You are not leaving the table with them.
你不许跟她们一起走
I go where she goes.
她去哪儿 我就去哪儿
Except not in the bathroom,
除了上厕所
because we like to leave a little mystery.
因为我们喜欢留点小神秘
I mean, what is the big deal, anyway?
我不理解问题在哪儿
You have a problem with her because of her father,
你们因为她爸而对她有意见
but no problem with his mom being a stripper?
但迪克妈是脱衣舞♥女 你们就没意见吗
What? You were a stripper?
什么 你以前是脱衣舞♥女吗
Mom?
妈
Max!
麦克斯
Oh, is that not common knowledge?
这事不是大家都知道的吗
I feel so bad.
我好内疚啊
Don't. I should have guessed.
不必 我早就该猜到了
My mom's way too limber at tennis.
我妈打网球的时候身体太柔软了
And it totally makes me respect my dad more.
这让我更敬重我爸
A jew marrying a black woman is impressive.
犹太人敢娶黑人已经够了不起了
Marrying a black stripper is awesome.
而他娶的还是黑人脱衣舞♥女 屌♥爆了
No, I feel bad about your parents
不是啦 我是为你父母
cutting you off financially.
切断你的经济来源而内疚
But you're okay with outing my mom?
但你揭我妈老底 不觉得内疚吗
Look, they gave me a choice, my money or you.
他们有让我选 选钱还是你
It only took me two hours to decide, and I picked you.
我只花了两小时就决定了 我要你
I wish it took you two hours.
你要是真考虑了两小时就好了
You didn't even think it over.
你连想都没想
You were out of there immediately.
直接就跟我们走了
Deke, how are you gonna live without money?
迪克 没有钱你怎么过呀
Hey, I already live in a dumpster.
我早就住在垃圾箱里了
I'm used to roughing it.
我习惯过苦日子
Who bought the dumpster?
这垃圾箱谁买的
They did.
我父母
Who bought the solar panels on the roof?
顶上的太阳能板谁买的
They did.
我父母
But I bought that cool skateboard poster.
但那个很酷的滑板海报是我买的
Deke
迪克
Okay, it was in a box of honeycomb.
好吧 是蜂窝早餐麦片里送的
And who bought the honeycomb? They did.
那个早餐麦片是谁买的 我父母
Max, it'll be fun.
麦克斯 未来会很好玩
Oh, come on. How hard could it be?
拜托 没钱能有多难
Look, I get up tomorrow, I get a job here,
我明天起来 就去找份工作
zippity boo, get another job there.
然后再找一份工作
Now I got 20,000, then zippity pow,
很快我就会挣到两万块
make another 20,000, zippity zang.
然后接着再挣两万块
Then I'm lousy with honeycomb.
最后我钱会多得要死好吗
Now, cheechity chong, where did I put Earl's weed?
话说我把厄尔的大♥麻放哪里了
What's the emergency? Are you all right?
有什么紧急情况 你没事吧
I'm fine, but Deke's insane!
我没事 但迪克疯了
He thinks he can make it as a poor person.
他认为他没钱也能过得很好
You never know, I did.
不要把人看扁 我就做到了
Sure, the first what's today, Monday?
当然一开始的...今天是周一吗
Sure, the first thousand days were hard, but
当然 一开始的一千天很难熬 但
Deke is nothing like you!
迪克根本不像你
You are resilient and smart and creative and driven.
你适应力强 聪明有创意 会发愤图强
No one could do what you did. You're amazing.
没人能像你这样 你超级厉害
Max, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
麦克斯 这是你对我最大的赞赏
Oh, don't get all wet.
别这么快就"湿"了
You're still at the bottom of the three way list.
在三人行候选名单里 你还是垫底
My point is, I can't let Deke give up his money.
重点是 我不能让迪克放弃他的钱
It's his decision.
这是他的决定
And it's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
而且这是我听过最浪漫的事
It's crap!
是最烂的事吧
I care about Deke more than I have ever cared about anyone,
我从来没有像现在一样在乎过一个人
so I have to give him back.
所以我得把他送回去
I just called his mother.
我刚打给他妈了
At 2:00 a.M., and she picked up the phone?
凌晨两点 她居然还接你电话
Oh, right, I forgot. She was a stripper.
对哦 我忘了她以前是脱衣舞♥女
She's used to picking things up at night.
很习惯在晚上"接东西"
And she said they'd take Deke back,
她说他们同意迪克回家
but he has to come to them.
但前提是他自己回去
That's great.
那很好啊
So, come on.
所以快点
You and I are pushing him home...
我们要把他推回家
in the dumpster.
连人带垃圾箱一起送回去
Pushing it to the upper east side?
把这玩意一路推到上东区
Yes!
是的
He's totally knocked out on Earl's weed.
厄尔的大♥麻让他昏睡过去了
He will not feel a thing.
他不会有感觉的
Come on, help me push right now
快点过来帮我推
before I realize what I'm losing
不然我怕我晚点回后悔
and change my mind. Go!
然后会改变主意 快
You take that side, I'll take this,
你推那边 我推这边
And we won't stop till we're there
不到目的地 决不停下来
or one of us falls off the Brooklyn bridge.
或推到我们其中一人摔下布鲁克林桥为止
We can never get it there, Max.
我们推不了这么远 麦克斯
Then we'll get it as far as we can,
那我们就有多远推多远
and then at least when Deke wakes up
至少等早上迪克醒来的时候
he won't be stuck here with me in the morning,
他不是在我身边 跟我一起过穷日子
and he can have a life.
他可以过回以前的生活
I was wrong earlier.
我之前说错了
This is the most romantic thing I've ever seen.
这才是我见过最浪漫的事情
Yeah, don't cut yourself on the dumpster
推的时候小心点 不要被划伤
or you'll get lockjaw. Push.
否则你会得破伤风的 快推
Oh, Max.
麦克斯
Even better upper arm workout!
这个锻炼上臂的方式更棒
Only you would say that!
只有你才会这么说