情陷已婚熟男

Good evening, ladies.
晚上好 女士们
No.
别想
Max, what are you doing?
麦克斯 你这是干嘛
I know this neighborhood is a circus,
我知道这一带的奇葩多
but our window's becoming a freak show.
但咱们这窗口要成怪胎秀了
Max, I don't think that bearded lady earlier
麦克斯 之前那个大妈
was doing it on purpose.
不是故意留胡子的吧
It's more of a menopause thing.
那只是更年期导致的
He can't afford a cupcake.
他才没钱买小蛋糕
He can't even afford two wheels.
他连两个轮子的单车都没钱买
Hi. What can I get you?
您好 请问需要什么
I'll take one vanilla.
我要一个香草口味
That'll be $4.
四块钱
Actually, madam,
女士 其实呢
tonight I'll be paying with a poem.
我今晚打算用一首诗付账
We're paying with a poem, madam.
人家要用诗付账呢 女士
I pull. Shadows push.
我拉 影推
I was a child then.
那时我是个孩子
I was a child then.
那时我是个孩子
Spit it out.
给老娘吐出来
Hey, you want a poem?
你想要诗是吧
Roses are red, violets are blue,
玫瑰花是红的 紫罗兰是蓝的
Get a job!
找份工作吧
And another wheel!
以及另一个轮子
That felt good.
感觉真爽
I get why you do that.
我理解你为啥爱这样了
Wait till you get actual fist to face contact.
等你有机会赏人脸上一拳吧
That's a real high.
那才是真的过瘾
Welcome to the Williamsburg diner, Deke.
欢迎光临威廉斯堡餐厅 迪克
Where'd you hear about us? Kitchen Nightmares?
你怎么知道我们餐厅的 《厨房噩梦》吗
美国真人秀节目 知名大厨戈登·拉姆齐 帮助失败餐厅重振业务
Okay, Max, let's get to it.
麦克斯 说正事吧
We have to decide what we're each gonna make
我们得决定学校的烘培作业
for our pastry school homework.
我们分别要做什么
Or true to form, I'll blow it off,
或者按照老规矩 我不做
beat you up, and take yours.
揍你一顿 拿你的去交
Of the top of my giant head, I'm thinking sticky buns.
我的大脑袋里目前想到了焦糖肉桂卷
Deke's dark sticky buns.
迪克的暗黑肉♥棒卷
We're talking about dessert, not what's going on in your pants.
我们是来谈甜点 不是你裤裆里的事
Well, I would've baked brownies
我本来想做布朗尼蛋糕的
until I remembered I smoked all the ingredients.
后来想起来原料被我抽完了[大♥麻]
Oh, my God, guess who texted me again.
天啊 你猜谁又发短信给我了
Dame Judi Dench?
朱迪·丹奇女爵士吗
英国老牌女演员 获奖无数 新007电影中的M夫人
Dame Judes texts me all the time.
她给我发过无数次短信了
She's thirsty.
她超饥渴啊
More like "Damn, Judi Dench."
她是朱迪·丹奇女爵"湿"吧
Oh, hi, Deke. Didn't know you were here.
迪克 我不知道你来了
You're everywhere.
你真是无处不在啊
Pastry school,
烘焙学校里
on the phone with Max talking about pastry school,
之后还要跟麦克斯在电话中聊学校
and now here at the counter talking about elder sex
现在还坐在这里讨论与受人敬爱的
with a beloved star of stage and screen.
老年舞台剧 电影女演员的性♥爱
You're like What?
你简直就像... 啥
Denzel Washington trapped in Channing Tatum's body?
被困在查宁的身材里的丹泽尔吗
查宁·塔图姆 曾任男模特的美国演员 身材很棒 丹泽尔·华盛顿 美国知名黑人演员 十分有才
I get that a lot.
常有人这么说
Anyway, Max,
言归正传 麦克斯
this is the fourth time Chef Nicolas
这是尼可拉斯主厨
has texted me outside of school.
第四次私下发短信给我了
And this time he sent me a video. Look.
这次还发了个视频呢 你看
Then, Caroline, you spoon the fat from the pan...
卡洛琳 然后把油从平底锅里舀...
It's him making breakfast with his shirt open.
是他敞开衣服做饭呢
What do you think it means?
你觉得这是什么意思
That he doesn't have a fear of bacon splatters.
他不怕煎培根时被油溅到
He's totally flirting with me, right?
他完全是在跟我调情吧
Totally. Chef Nicolas is hot for ya.
绝对的 尼可拉斯大厨对你有性趣
He has to double up on aprons when you're around,
你在身边时 他就得别两层围裙
Know what I'm sayin'?
你懂我的意思吧
Deke, this is just private best friend stuff between girls.
迪克 这是闺蜜间的私密谈话
You know, that you're not a part of.
跟你完全没有关系
Can I not be a part of it?
也能跟我没关系吗
And since Chef Nicolas is your teacher
尼可拉斯主厨是你们的老师
and I work at the school,
我也是学校的职员
I'd appreciate it if we kept this just between us three.
这件事能保持我们三个知道就好吗
And me. I saw it over your shoulder.
我也知道 我从你后面偷看到了
Doesn't hold a candle
完全比不上我的
to my series of pantless meatloaf videos.
光下身肉卷系列视频啊
Meatloaf. Pick up.
肉卷 上菜
Okay, okay, Max, if you have time to lean,
好了 麦克斯 有时间靠着休息
you have time to clean.
就有时间打扫
And if I have time to give you a punch,
如果我有时间揍你一拳
we have time to have lunch.
我们就有时间吃饭
Max, should we help him find his mom?
麦克斯 我们该帮他找妈妈吗
Oh, no, now there's two of them.
惨了 现在有两只了
Like gremlins.
跟小魔怪一样
电影《小魔怪》中的怪物 有自我复制能力
Now, come on. This is a diner, not study hall.
快干活 这里是餐厅 不是自习♥室
You're working.
你在上班呢
I call it "spiritually dying,"
我称在这里做的事情为
but working's a good word for what we do here too."
灵魂慢慢死去" 但叫"工作"也可以啦
We could figure it out tomorrow night over some drinks.
我们可以明晚边喝点小酒边谈啊
Couple of white wine spritzers. Know what I'm sayin'?
喝几杯白气泡酒 明白我意思吗
That you're a recently widowed woman on a girls' trip in Boca?
你是跟闺蜜在海边度假的寡妇娘们吗
Well, I already ate my water, so I'm good to go.
水喝完了 我可以走了
I am out the door.
爷要闪人啦
Hi, I'm Deke. Bye, Max.
我叫迪克 再见啦 麦克斯
Oh, he's your friend?
他是你的朋友啊
For a minute I thought he was that kid
我本来以为他是我跟
琳达·伊万斯 现年71岁的美国美丽女演员
I had out of wedlock with Linda Evans.
琳达·伊万斯生的私生子呢
Okay, why are you in here not working?
你为什么在里面打混不干活
And why are you doing it without me?
你为啥打混不叫上我
Look, I've been texting with Nicolas.
你看 我跟尼可拉斯在发短信聊
He thirstay.
他很饥渴
He wants me to meet him for a drink after his dinner tomorrow.
他想在他明天晚饭后找我喝一杯
After his dinner. You know what that means.
晚饭后 你懂意思吧
That he thinks he doesn't have to buy you dinner
他觉得他不用请你吃晚饭
before he makes you his slampiece?
就能把你变炮♥友吗
After dinner is a booty call.
晚饭后约就是约炮啦
Or as they say in France, "A call du bootay."
或者是法文里的"打炮之约"
So I need you to hang out with me,
所以你明晚得一起来
because if I don't have anything else to do at that time,
因为到时候如果没借口离开的话
I won't be able to resist him.
我会没理由拒绝他
I don't see it.
我觉得他不会吧
Maybe because he never pulled a knife on me,
可能是因为他从没拿刀逼我做♥爱
but to me he's, like, asexual.
但在我看来 他是无性生物
Yeah, like a sexual object.
是无性不欢的生物吧
Okay, well, I told Deke I'd help him with his homework,
好吧 我答应迪克要帮忙他弄作业了
so you can hang out with us.
你可以跟我们一起
Hang out with Deke?
跟迪克一起吗
I didn't even like The Muppets on TV.
我又不爱看《布偶秀》 干嘛跟他一起
《布偶秀》美国知名布偶电视节目 迪克与其中角色有些形似
But fine, it'll it'll keep me busy,
行吧 我有事做也好
Because Max, when Nicolas looks at me,
因为呢 麦克斯 每当尼可拉斯看着我
it does something to my insides,
我的里面都会有反应
and I want this to be a relationship
而我想要先确定关系
before he does something to my insides.
才能让他对我的"里面"干嘛干嘛
If you keep talking about your insides,
你再继续说你的"里面"
I'm gonna kick you on your outsides.
我就要踹你的"外面"了
Okay, so as far as my dessert homework goes
所以我的甜点作业呢...
He just texted me again.
他又给我发短信了
"Ou es tu?" "Where are you?""
你在何处"就是你在哪
And he used "tu" not "vous."
他用了"你"不是"您"
We've gone there.
感情到那儿了
Then why are you still here?
那你人怎么还在这儿啊
Because I can't go there, Max, I'm not ready.
因为我还不能去那儿啊 我还没准备好
Oh, wax situation?
阴毛没刮吗
Guys don't care about that.
男人才不在乎呢
So as far as my dessert goes, I went all out
我的甜点作业呢 我发愤图强
and actually did some real research.
真的去查了些资料
You googled desserts with dirty names?
你搜了有名字歧义的甜点吗
Correcto.
没错
And it was harder to pick one than I thought.
比我想象中的难下决定啊
I mean, you got your bundt cake, your lady fingers,
比如说有"洞洞"蛋糕啊 "金手指"
Kumquat pie...
金桔派
"Kum" and "quat"
金[精]桔[阴吹]
It was right there the whole time. How could I not see it?
这么明显的同音双关 我怎么一直没发现
So I dug deep, and I have the winner.
在仔细思考后 我有了答案
Croquembouche."
在嘴咬嚼"[焦糖奶油松饼]
I don't know what that is, but she sounds like a whore.
完全不知道那是啥 但一听就是个骚货
It's a traditional French wedding cake
是一种传统的法国结婚蛋糕
with vanilla cream filled profiteroles
用满是香草奶油的泡芙叠塔
dipped in hand made caramel.
再淋上手工制作的教堂
Said the only person here not in pastry school.
由这里唯一不读烘焙学校的人说出
Oh, cool. I didn't know what it was.
不错啊 我本来都不知道是啥
Maybe I can help.
我可以帮忙啊
I happen to know Nicolas loves a pear tarte tatin.
我刚好知道尼可拉斯很爱梨子鞑靼塔
Ta ta tan! No.
哒哒哒 才不要呢
I thought I'd distract myself by going out with you guys,
我还以为跟你们一起出来能分心不紧张
but it feels like the day in high school
但感觉这像是我高中时
I hung out with the smokers for street cred.
为了赚点街头名声 故意跟抽烟屁孩混
And I used to hang out with rich geeks like you
我以前也是为了午餐钱
when I needed lunch money.
故意跟你这样的有钱书呆玩啊
I'm texting Nicolas.
我要发消息找他了
What? You said you didn't want him to think you were
什么 是你自己说不想让他以为能当炮♥友
up for a wham bam, thank you, mademoiselle.
才跟过来的 真谢谢你啊 这位小姐
You're right, Max. I shouldn't text him.
你说得对 麦克斯 我不应该找他
He just texted me again. What's one drink?
他又发短信来了 喝一杯多少钱
$18.
十八块
It is? Yeah, you better text him.
真的吗 那你赶紧找他来吧
We need a grown up to pay for the drinks.
我们需要个大人来付酒钱
I'll just say I'm with friends, and he can join for a drink.
我就说我跟朋友在一起 他可以来喝一杯
Isn't that what people do? I forget.
正常人都是这么做的吧 我忘了
I haven't been a person or done anything in so long.
我好久没做过正常人或做过啥体面事了
Or done a person in so long.
也好久没"做"过正常人了
I won't let it get that far.
我不会让事情发展到那地步
And by that I mean you won't.
应该说是你不能放任他那样
I'll give you a signal and then you'll say we have to go.
我会给你信号 你就说我们还有事得先走
What's the signal? Full penetration?
什么信号 他完全插♥进去吗
No, before that.
是在那之前
So just the tip?"
头"刚进入时吗
I think I'll just wink.
我就眨眨眼吧
So, croquembouche?
所以做"在嘴咬嚼"吗
I can't pretend to talk.
我假装不了在聊天
I hope his tongue is wearing protection.
希望他的舌头有戴避孕措施吧
Are we making you uncomfortable?
我们让你们感到不自在了吗
No, no, it's just that I usually like to fast forward
没有没有 只是我看黄♥片时
through the kissing parts when I watch porn.
通常习♥惯快进跳过接吻的部分
Come on, relax, Max. We're just having some fun.
别这样 麦克斯 我们就开心一下而已嘛
It's just that you're our teacher,
只是你是我们的老师
and your spittle is all over her mouth.
而你的口水都到她嘴里了
We're not in class. Do you see batter or bowls?
我们又不在教室里 这里有面粉糊或碗吗
Well, we're hoping not to see any balls.
我们希望不用见到任何蛋蛋[碗]
I see the outline of one of 'em.
我看见了其中一颗的轮廓
Just don't think of me as a teacher right now.
现在不用把我当成老师
Well, I'm kind of learning a lot.
但我学到了不少呢
You know, for someone who wasn't gonna have sex,
对一个不打算上床的人来说
She's having sex.
她已经在做♥爱了
I'm leaving.
我要走了
I haven't felt this awkward since my mom had sex
自从我妈跟我毕业舞伴在礼车上做♥爱
with my prom date in the limo and made me drive.
还叫我开车后 我就再也没这么尴尬过了
Your mom sounds cool.
感觉你妈是个辣妈啊
Come on, you can't leave. We just got here.
别这样 你不能走 我们才刚到呢
Well, she's about to get there, and I don't wanna see it.
她也快要"到"了 我可不想看
Well, we can make out.
我们也可以亲热啊
You wanna make out? With me?
你想跟我亲热吗
No, a comedy make out.
不是啦 就搞笑亲热
You know, like...
比如这样
Well, you make it look so tempting.
你让我看得好有兴致啊
Come on, it'll be hilarious.
来嘛 会很好玩的
Let my mouth be your tongue's panic room.
让我的嘴成为你舌头的避风港
And Chef Nicolas could use a few pointers.
也可以给尼可拉斯大厨指点一番
Yeah, he's really bad at it.
是啊 人家技术可"差"了
All right, why not?
好吧 有何不可
It might even get their attention.
说不定还能引起他们注意
On the count of three.
数到三开始
One, two...
一 二
Did they look?
他们看了吗
No, he's busy rounding third.
他忙着在她"三"垒打转呢
My turn.
轮到我了
Max, what's happening?
麦克斯 这是怎么了
He's licking your face.
他在舔你的脸
Leave them alone.
不要管他们了
Deke seems to know what he's doing.
迪克感觉也很懂行
Respect.
客气客气
Well, hate to comedy make out and run,
虽然我很不想搞笑亲热完就跑
but, well, I'm already mentally at Yummy Donuts
但我的心已经到了甜甜圈店里
trying to binge eat this image out of my mind.
尝试疯狂吃掉脑海里的这画面
Hold on, Max. The signal.
等等 麦克斯 信号来了
See, this is why I don't do girlfriend.
你看 这就是为啥我不爱当人闺蜜
Come on, we have somewhere to go or be, something like that.
走啦 我们得先走 去办事之类的
We have to go.
我们得走了
See you later.
再见啦
Au revoir.
再会
'sup?
近来如何
Not much.
没啥大事
'sup with you?
那你呢
Sorry, I have to get this. It's my wife.
抱歉 我得接个电话 我老婆打来
Girrrl...
老妹啊
Oh, I totally forgot to tell you.
我完全忘记告诉你了
You're terrible at making out.
你亲热的技术烂爆了
Well, I never had a father to teach me.
我没爸爸 所以没人教我
Hey, big Mary.
胖子姐们
Hallway lunch. Love that for you.
走廊吃午餐 真"羡慕"你们
And you.
还有你
This could've been your walk of shame right now
如果不是我把及时把你拉走
if I hadn't stepped in, winky.
现在你就是做完羞愧地走进来 眨眼妹
Yes, last night got a little out of hand.
是啊 昨晚局面有点失控
Oh, it was pretty much in your hand.
是几乎在你"掌中"吧
No, it was not, Max.
才不是呢 麦克斯
Yes, there might have been a tasteful graze,
没错 可能是鉴赏性地摸了一下
just to figure out how European he was down there.
只是为了估计他下面的尺寸有多欧洲
Good news, it's not wearing a floppy beret.
好消息是 "头顶"不是软趴趴的贝雷帽
So we are right on track for a perfect fairy tale romance.
所以我们会发展成为完美的童话式爱情
Yeah, the princess and the penis.
是啊 美国公主和法国阳♥具
See you at the diner, Max. Au revoir, mes amis.
餐厅见 麦克斯 再见 朋友们
I have to kinda tell you something
我有件事要告诉你
that you have to promise you kind of
你要答应我
definitely won't tell Caroline.
绝对不会告诉卡洛琳
Are you about to tell me that when she speaks French
你是想告诉我 她说法语时
it makes you want to slam your head
你也会有想把头用力
through that plate glass window too?
撞向玻璃窗的冲动吗
Heh. Well, the thing is he's married.
我想说的是 他结婚了
He's married? How do you know?
他结婚了 你怎么知道的
He's not wearing a ring, and he doesn't seem dead inside.
他又没戴戒指 而且他不像是已婚麻木男啊
His wife called him after you guys left.
昨晚你们走后 他老婆打来电话
How could he do that?
他怎么能这样呢
He's French?
他是法国人嘛
And not tell Caroline.
而且还不告诉卡洛琳
He's French?
他是法国人嘛
What a jerk.
真是个混♥蛋
Fronch?
法国人嘛
I'm telling her right now.
我现在就要去告诉她
Wait, wait, wait, Max, do me a favor.
等等 等等 麦克斯 帮我个忙
Can you just wait until after I turn in my croquembouche?
能不能等我交了我的作业再说
I'm already on thin ice with "au bon pain in my ass."
我跟"让我很烦咖啡厅"老师关系很不好
au bon pain是一家美国连锁咖啡厅 pain in my ass 则是有"让我很烦"的意思
This sucks.
太过分了
He's married, and Caroline has this weird thing in her head
他都结婚了 而卡洛琳的思维又很奇怪
that she has to marry someone who isn't married.
她非得跟没老婆的人结婚
Bonjour, Bebe. Ca va?
早安 碧碧 你好吗
Oh, boy.
天啊
I'm not really good with any languages.
我不是很擅长外语
They think it's because I got hit by three cars.
医生说是因为我被三辆车撞过
FYI, if you ever get hit, just stay down.
提个醒 如果你被车撞 别立刻起身
Well, guess what.
对了
I got you and me salads. Girls' lunch.
我给咱俩准备了沙拉 闺蜜午餐
Well, I usually just have Peanut butter
我通常都是在阴暗处偷吃
and crackers in the dark.
花生酱和饼干
I hear so much about salad I've always wanted to try it.
我慕名沙拉已久 一直很想试试
Sure. Sit. Have some salad.
坐下吧 一起吃沙拉
You and me, me and you.
你和我 就咱俩
Getting to know more about each other.
增进对彼此的了解
So Bebe, tell me everything about Nicolas.
碧碧 我想知道尼古拉斯的一切
He's the best.
他人超棒
He has the heart and eyes of a dog.
他拥有狗狗的心灵和眼睛
So Nicolas, where do you think he is?
尼古拉斯 你觉得他现在在哪
He just said he had a lunch date.
他刚说有个午餐约会
Date?
约会
Did he use the word "date,""
约会"这个词
or are you just using the word "Date"?
是他说的 还是你说的
I mean, it's not like he's dating anyone.
我意思是 他不像是有约会对象啊
Is he?
有吗
No, why would he be dating anyone?
没有 他怎么会在跟人约会
Exactly, why would he be dating anyone?
就是 他怎么会在跟人约会
Yeah, I mean, he's married.
对啊 他都结婚了
Married?
结婚了
You know, salad tastes just like lettuce.
沙拉尝起来就像生菜啊
You are not going to believe this.
这件事说出来你都不会信
Kendall Jenner is applying to colleges?
肯达尔·詹娜要申请大学吗
肯达尔·詹娜是美国名媛金·卡戴珊的妹妹 16岁后就开始涉足时尚圈和真人秀
Come on, Max, no.
拜托 麦克斯 有可能吗
Nicolas is and get ready married.
尼古拉斯 听好了 已经结婚了
I kissed a married man. I'm so mortified.
我居然跟一位已婚男人接吻 太有失身份了
Please don't ever tell anyone I kissed a married man.
千万不要告诉别人我跟一个已婚男人接吻
Okay, I won't tell anyone.
好的 我不会告诉任何人
Tell anyone what?
告诉任何人啥
Caroline kissed a married man.
卡洛琳跟一个已婚男人接吻
But don't tell anyone.
千万不要告诉别人哦
All right, I want to go on the record
好吧 我要公开说明下
that I didn't know.
我事先并不知道
Kissing a married man has never been in my life plan.
我的人生规划中并不包括跟已婚男人接吻
It's not on my vision board or in my dreamscape.
这既不我的愿景板上 也不在我的梦景里
I am not that kind of person.
我不是那种人
But she is the kind of person who has a vision board
但她是那种既拥有愿景板
and says "dreamscape," So let's judge her on that.
又说出"梦景"这个词的人 大家快来鄙视她
I won't judge you, Caroline.
我不会鄙视你的 卡洛琳
I once went out with a married woman.
我曾跟一位已婚女子约会
I didn't know she was married
直到她的配偶打了我一顿
until her spouse came and beat me up.
我才知道她已经结婚了
Lesbians are strong.
拉拉们可猛了
Listen, married, not married, don't be so American.
看待已婚和未婚 不要这么美国化
You know, in Poland, the wedding vows say,
在波兰 我们的结婚誓词是
"Do you take this woman..."
你愿意娶这个女人
and maybe some others?"
和其他几个吗"
Well, not Polish, and not a lesbian yet.
我不是波兰人 也还没变拉拉
So I'm very upset.
所以我非常郁闷
And, Max, why are you just standing there?
麦克斯 你为什么光站在这儿
Why haven't you said anything?
你不发表发表意见吗
I kind of knew.
我早知道了
Wait. You kind of knew he was married?
站住 你早就知道他结婚了吗
You kind of knew and didn't kind of tell me?
你早就知道 却没有早告诉我
What kind of friend are you?
你算哪门子朋友啊
I just found out myself.
我也是刚知道
Well, then why didn't you tell me?
那你为什么不告诉我
I was going to, but then Deke asked me not to
我是想告诉你 但迪克让我
until he handed in his homework.
等他交了作业再说
And also I thought you might cry.
而且我怕你会哭
Oh, and you didn't want to upset me?
你是不想让我难过吗
Nah, I didn't want to deal with it.
不 我只是不想遭殃
'cause when you cry, you don't just cry once.
因为每次你哭 你不是只哭一段
It's like a six cry thing.
每次都哭够六个阶段
You've got the first shock cry, the silent cry,
一开始是号啕大哭 接着是呜咽不语
the ugly cry, the cry because you're crying,
再接着痛哭流涕 然后是因为哭而哭
the cry after you say you're not gonna cry anymore,
再然后是你刚说完不哭 又开始哭
and then the final cry, which is probably my fault.
至于最后那阶段 估计都是被我弄哭的
Well, you're wrong, Max, I'm not gonna cry over this,
你错了 麦克斯 我这次不会哭
because I haven't gone far enough down the road.
因为我对他的感情还没有这么深
Yes, I was just beginning to think about our future,
没错 虽然我是开始幻想我们的未来了
but I'm not that invested.
但我还没那么全心投入
Then what's this?
那这是什么
My dupe pad. That's right.
我的小本子 没错
And look what I found written on the back.
瞧瞧我在后面发现了什么
"Caroline and Nicolas Saintcroix.""
卡洛琳和尼古拉斯·圣克劳"
"Mr. And Mrs. Saintcroix.""
圣克劳夫妇"
"Caroline Saintcroix.""
卡洛琳·圣克劳"
That's just being silly. Every girl does that.
那只是犯傻而已 每个怀春少女都会这样
You're 40.
大姐 你都40岁了
Oh, man, this is heavy.
天啊 又沉又重
I know, very heavy.
我知道 非常沉重
We're back here, and I have to deal with the fact
回到学校 我必须面对
that I was dry humped by a married man.
我被一个已婚男人隔衣干搞的事实
No, I think he meant his dessert is heavy.
不是 他是说他的甜点很重
But yeah, you got a lot going on.
但没错 你的心情很复杂
So what do you want us to do?
你想让我们帮你做什么
Should we throw down? Mess his ass up?
打他一顿吗 还是玩爆他的菊花
Kick him in the face?
踢他的脸一脚
Or just ignore it so I don't get kicked out of school?
还是什么都不做 免得被踢出学校
No, I'll deal with Nicolas later.
不用了 晚点我自己找尼古拉斯
You sure?
你确定吗
'cause I've always wanted to kill a French person.
我可是一直都想杀一个法国佬
Again.
再杀一次
Thanks, but stay out of it. I've got this.
谢啦 但你别管了 我能处理
I'm gonna rip him a new one.
我要把他碎尸万段
Bonjour, Caroline. Bonjour, Nicolas.
早安 卡洛琳 早啊 尼古拉斯
That wasn't a rip. Wasn't even a tear.
那不算碎尸 碎花都算不上
Go, go, you two.
你们俩 快进去
Got a big, hot bundt here.
给新鲜出炉的大洞洞蛋糕让路
Go, go, don't be late.
去吧 别迟到了
You sure that's a croquembouche?
你确定这是"在嘴咬嚼"吗
'cause it looks like a coyote poop tree.
看起来就像是土狼的粪堆
Caroline, can you watch the phones for me
卡洛琳 你能进去帮我看着电话吗
while I give Chef Nicolas this note from his wife?
我要传尼古拉斯老婆的留言给他
You know what? I'll give it to him.
要不这样 我给他好了
I have something I have to say to him anyway.
反正我也有事要找他
Oh, for next girls' lunch, have you ever had sandwiches?
下次闺蜜午餐 你吃过三明治吗
'cause I'm thinking of trying one.
因为我在考虑要不要尝尝
Not you.
不是你
You have got this. You have got this.
你做得到 你做得到
You broke up with a Kennedy cousin.
你都甩过肯尼迪家的高富帅了
You can do this.
你能做到
Caroline, do you need something?
卡洛琳 找我有事吗
I just wanted to give you this phone message you just got.
我只是来送电话留言给你
From your wife.
是你老婆留的
From your wife. Juliette.
你妻子 朱丽叶
I know her name. You're married.
我知道她的名字 你都结婚了
Yes, you just got a message from my wife.
是啊 刚才留言的就是我老婆啊
I feel like something's getting lost in the translation here,
我觉得是不是咱俩语言不通有歧义
So let me be clear. It's over between us.
那恕我直言 我们之间完了
Why?
为什么
Why? Because you're married.
为什么 因为你有老婆了
Again, I know that. But why?
我知道我有老婆啊 但是为什么
What what do you mean "why"?
你老问"为什么"干嘛
Why? Because you are married. Vous est marie!
原因就是你已经结婚了 您结婚了
And note, I did not use "tu"
注意 我刚没用"你"
because we are back on the more formal "vous" terms.
因为我们回到要用"您"这样正式的
关系
Look, Caroline, my wife is in France,
卡洛琳 我的老婆在法国
and we have an understanding.
而且我们达成了共识
Well, I'm having a hard time understanding any of this.
我对你们的共识表示完全不能理解
And whatever arrangement you and Juliette have,
不管你和朱丽叶的协议是什么
it's over between you and me.
反正我们玩完了
Here.
给
You are very cute when you're angry.
你生气的时候好可爱
I am?
是吗
Actually, you are very cute all the time.
老实说 你一直很可爱
Cute and sexy.
可爱又性感
From the moment I saw you, I wanted to...
从见到你那一刻 我就想...
put my lips onto yours.
吻上你的唇
You did?
是吗
Yes.
是的
Caroline, you are a smart, sexy, delicious woman.
卡洛琳 你是一个聪明性感又可口的女人
And now that I've kissed
现在我已经吻过...
Do you have something in your eye?
你眼睛里有东西吗
No, no, no, no, no.
没有 没有
It's never you!
从来不是你
I'm sorry, what is happening?
不好意思 到底什么了
Chef Nicolas, uh, you need to get back in there
尼古拉斯主厨 你得赶紧进去
Because the Chef with the neck tattoo
因为脖子有纹身的大厨
is trying to pass off a store bought tiramisu.
想拿从店里买来的提拉米苏充数
There is one every year.
每年都有一个
Caroline.
卡洛琳
Are you okay? What did he say?
你没事吧 他说什么了
He said he's married, and it's confusing,
他说他结婚了 反正一片混乱
and I'm delicious.
而我很可口
Okay, well, he's married, it's confusing, and you're delicious.
好吧 他已婚 事混乱 你可口
So you're Mrs. Delicious Saintcroix.
所以你是可口·圣克劳太太
So it's over, right?
你们结束了 对吗
Yeah, of course it's over. No drama, no more crying.
当然结束了 没有大吵大闹 没有哭哭啼啼
I would never be with a married man.
我绝不会跟已婚男人在一起
Yeah, that's more my thing.
是啊 那更像是我会做的事
Oh, my God, Max,
天啊 麦克斯
you know what I just realized?
你知道我刚意识到什么吗
I once said I would never be a waitress.
我也曾说过 我绝不会当服务员
Girrrl...
老妹啊