开学了

Okay, Max, I figured out our new schedule.
麦克斯 我知道新时间表该怎么排了
And I figured out the cheap toothpaste
我也才知道我们用的便宜牙膏
we've been using is really diaper cream.
其实是放♥尿布疹软膏
On the plus side, that rash cleared up on my gums.
但好歹我牙龈上的尿布疹都消了
We'll do our diner shift from 6:00 till 2:00,
晚上6点到清晨2点在餐厅上班
then sell cupcakes here from 2:00 to 4:00,
清晨2点到清晨4点卖小蛋糕
make the cupcakes in the morning from 7:00 to 11:00,
早上7点到11点做小蛋糕
And then pastry school from 12:00 to 4:00.
然后中午12点到下午4点去学校
Forget anything? Just poopin' and sleepin'.
有忘了什么吗 拉屎跟睡觉时间
Now, I have to go rewrite the schedule.
现在我得去重安排时间表了
Let's go, Max, you have a huge, huge day tomorrow.
来吧 麦克斯 明天是你的超超大日子
First day of pastry school.
第一天上烘焙学校
Stop saying it's huge.
别说"超超大"了
Whenever I think something's gonna be huge,
每次以为要看到"超大东西"时
It just turns out to be all balls.
最后都只看到"大巨蛋"
I splurged and had my blouse cleaned.
我花钱干洗了我的衬衫
Dry cleaning bags remind me of when I had money.
这干洗袋让我想起了当有钱人的时光
Really? They remind me of
那袋子只让我回想起
when my mother tried to suffocate me.
我妈曾想把我闷死
Allegedly. Let's go.
据说而已啦 走吧
Wait, wait. Max, you can't go yet.
等等 麦克斯 你还不能走
I need you to stay and help with something.
我需要你留下来帮忙一件事
Han, I told you it's bend and wipe,
阿憨 我都教过你了
then up come your big boy pants.
弯下身擦屁♥股 裤子拉上穿穿好
Yeah, Han's right. You can't go.
阿憨说得对 你不能走
Stay here a few more minutes.
再待一会吧
Why?
为啥
Are we having an intervention for Max?
我们要开麦克斯的批斗大会吗
Hey, everybody.
大家安安
Oh, I hope I'm not late for Max's
我还没错过"欢庆麦克斯
first day of school surprise party.
首日上学惊喜派对"吧
Sophie, we hadn't surprised her yet.
苏菲 我们都还没给她惊喜呢
Oh, but she's right there.
她站在这都听见啦
You just blew it, Han.
惊喜都被你剧透光了 阿憨
Aw, a surprise party.
有惊喜派对呢
Isn't this sweet, Max? I don't trust it.
是不是很温馨啊 麦克斯 我才不信咧
Last time Oleg yelled "surprise" at me,
上次奥列格给过我"惊喜"
his penis was on a hot dog bun.
他把鸡鸡塞在热狗面包中间了
One meat lover's pizza.
一盒肉香满溢披萨
And one meat lover.
一位肉♥欲满溢爱人
Max, come on. Get it while it's hot.
麦克斯 快来 "趁热享用"哦
You're opening that box.
你去打开那盒子
Hm, who's got a ten
谁有十块钱
to tip the cute pizza delivery guy?
给这个可爱的送披萨男小费啊
Sophie, this is Luis, the day waiter.
苏菲 他是路易斯 白班服务生
Oh, you're Sophie,
你就是苏菲啊
Oleg's ex.
奥列格的前任
Sister, I know all about you.
姐妹 我对你了如指掌
Oh, do you?
真的咩
Do you know all about me?
你真的对我从里到外都了解吗
I'm his good friend.
我是他的好朋友
You know, I'm having trouble hearing your accent.
你的口音有点重 我听不太清楚
Did you say "good friend" or "girlfriend?"
是"好朋友"还是"女"朋友啊
Please, mami. I wish.
拜托 我倒想呢
I like the entertainment.
我喜欢这娱乐节目啊
It's better than the magician at my friend Stephanie's 16th birthday
比我朋友妮妮16岁生日派对上的魔术师好
that made her virginity disappear.
他把我朋友的贞操变没了
Max, we're all so proud of you.
麦克斯 我们都以你为傲
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.
明天是你后半生的第一天
Aw, crap. I gotta do this again?
靠 我又得再活一遍啊
All right, but this time,
行 但是这次
I'm not seeing Trouble With the Curve.
我不要再看励志电影了
You are about to do something very big.
你即将要干一番大事业
Yes, she is. Such a big step.
对啊 向前迈大步
Big step for both of us,
我们一起迈进一大步
'cause I'll be using my business acumen
因为我也得用我的商业头脑
working in the office to help pay the tuition.
在办公室里工作来帮她赚学费
Shh. I'm talking about Max.
别吵 我是在说麦克斯呢
So we all chipped in to get you something
我们大家都凑钱给你买礼物
for your first day of school.
庆祝你首日上学
It's my first day too. Caroline, please,
也是我的第一天 卡洛琳 拜托了
I can't hear Han talking about Max, okay?
你害我听不到阿憨说麦克斯什么了
Here you go, darling,
给 小宝贝
A book bag for school.
上学的书包
So what, then? Is my surprise party after this one?
所以给我的惊喜派对是在这之后吗
What is happening?
这是怎么一回事
People doing nice things for me and smiling?
有人笑容满面地对我好
Am I transferring foster homes again?
是不是又要换寄养家庭了
And there's more stuff inside.
里面还有别的东西哦
That was supposed to be a surprise too.
你又把惊喜先剧透出来了
Oh. Surprise!
惊喜吧
Max, open it. Look inside.
麦克斯 打开 看看里面东西
Yeah, Max, see what's inside for your big day.
对啊 麦克斯 看看里面有啥
Big day for Max. Big day for me as well.
麦克斯的大日子 也是我的大日子哦
A metrocard? No way.
一张交通卡 不是吧
From me. Unlimited rides.
我送的 无限乘坐哦
Oh. Unlimited rides?
无限"骑"[乘坐]吗
Is that what your tramp stamp says?
你屁♥股上的骚货纹身是这个吗
I was gonna get mad, but that was a damn good one.
本来要跟你吵的 但你这吐槽实在是妙
What's this? Han's house?
这又是啥 阿憨的房子吗
A simple "thank you" would suffice.
你简单说句"谢谢"就够了
Thank you for your house, Han.
谢谢你送我你的房子 阿憨
It's a pencil case, and I love it.
铅笔盒 我好喜欢啊
And I was sitting here, thinking how you were
我刚才还干坐在这 想着你们会不会
all ignoring my part of the big day.
忘了明天也是我的大日子呢
And then, you give me this pencil case
然后你们就送了我这个
to use in the office and prove me wrong.
带去上班用的铅笔盒 证明我想错了
That's for Max.
那是送麦克斯的
What the hell is wrong with you people?
你们他妈脑子是哪有问题啊
Max doesn't even need pencils.
麦克斯都不需要用铅笔
She'll be baking.
她会在烘焙东西
Well, she'll be baked.
她是会晕乎乎[烘焙]才对
Take a look.
打开看看
Joints.大♥麻烟
Earl, that's so sweet.
厄尔 你真是太好了
These should last me till recess.
这一盒够我抽到今天休息时间了
Wait, where's the Chef's coat Sophie had monogrammed?
等等 苏菲要送的绣名厨师制
服呢
Han, that was supposed to be a surprise.
阿憨 这是我要送的惊喜呢
Oh, I know. Karma's a bitch.
我故意的 报应来了吧
Oh, well.
好吧
Look.
给
My name's on this.
上面有我名字呢
the only thing my name's ever been on before
唯一上面有过我名字的东西
is a urine sample.
是验毒尿检杯
Thank you, everyone.
谢谢你们大家
So there is nothing in that bag for me?
所以那书包里没一样东西是给我的吗
Nothing?
毛都没有吗
I'd even take Oleg's penis in a hot dog bun right now.
现在如果送我奥列格的鸡鸡热狗 我
都愿意收下
I'll be right back.
马上给你做
Getting on. Please move.
要上车啦 请让让
Getting on. Please move.
上车啦 让让啊
Getting on. Please move.
姐要上车 拜托让让
On! Move!
上啦 让啊
On! On! Move! Move!
上 上 让 让
I love the subway.
我爱死地铁了
It's the perfect place to get out aggression.
发泄怒气的完美地点
I just punched someone in the kidney.
我刚才锤了一拳别人的肚子
It was me.
正是在下
I know.
我知道
Oh, oh, bad smell,
好臭的屁味
Like someone hooked up with a falafel.
是谁吃了中东蔬菜球啊
It was me. I know.
正是在下 我知道
Max. Sorry.
克制点 抱歉
Subways, planes, and mosh pits, I let it ride.
地铁里 飞机上 舞池中 我任屁自放
I love the smell of this fresh, dry cleaned blouse.
我爱死这件上衣干洗后清新的味道了
I am so excited to be out of that waitress uniform,
我好兴奋我能摆脱那服务生制服
and back in my chic business clothes,
重新穿上我的时尚工装
and, you know, going to my office,
然后走进我的办公室
where I'll probably save the day
在那里运用着我的沃顿才华
using some of my Wharton magic.
拯救办公室於水火之中
You know, I think I like you better without hope.
我更喜欢你内心希望全灭的样子
Max, you know this school is expensive, right?
麦克斯 你知道这学校学费很贵吧
You're going in with a good attitude, right?
你会抱着积极心态去上课吧
No, that's what Earl's pencils are for.
不是啊 不然厄尔的"铅笔盒"是干啥用的
Don't worry, I'll do my best.
别担心啦 我会尽力
I mean, look, I have a book bag.
你看 这次我有个书包呢
The only thing my mother ever sent me to school with
以前我去上学 我妈唯一给我带的东西
was a note that said "Check me for lice."
就是张写了"帮忙检查虱子"的字条
It was so sweet of everyone to give you that,
大家送你书包真是太贴心了
even though I didn't sleep all night about it.
虽然这害我一整晚睡不着
And it looks kind of expensive.
而且看起来不便宜呢
Check for a designer label.
看看是什么牌子的
Why? It's the thought that counts.
何必呢 心意最重要嘛
Since when?
胡说八道
Let me see it.
让我看看
Second avenue station.
第二大道站
This is second avenue.
这里是第二大道站
No, no, no, Max!
惨了 麦克斯
No, he got the book bag. Good, Max, good.
他抢到了书包 很好 麦克斯
Don't let go.
千万别放手
What if the train starts to leave
万一车子发动了
and my arms pop off?
然后我手断了咋办
How will I go to pastry school?
我还怎么去上烘焙学校啊
I'll be one of those people decorating cookies
我就得跟那些残疾用嘴来
with a bag in their mouth.
装饰饼干的人一样了
You are the devil.
你是个魔鬼
The devil.
魔鬼
You have nothing.
你就是个渣渣
Pull, Max, pull! Pull it from the devil!
拉 麦克斯 快拉 从魔鬼手上拉走
Can't. The devil works out.
拉不走啊 这魔鬼有健身
My bag.
我的书包
My blouse.
我的衬衫
My weed.
我的大♥麻
Oh, great, look. Class has started.
这下好了 都开始上课了
My new life already blows.
我的新生活已经搞砸了
Oh, look. There's Chef gorgeous.
帅气大厨在里面呢
I don't want him to see me like this.
我不想让他看到我这么狼狈
I'm gonna go to the restroom and see
我去洗手间看看
if cold water can get out any of the stain.
能不能用冷水把这脏污弄掉
Go, Max. But I don't have my chef coat or book bag.
快进去上课 可是我的厨师服跟
书包没了
I know I only had them for a couple of hours,
我知道它们只在我生命中存在过几小时
but it was the best part of me.
但那是我最美好的时光
You'll do great.
你能行的
First, do me a favor. Check me for lice.
先帮我个忙 检查我有没有虱子
This course is designed to introduce you
这门课是设计来向你们介绍
to the skills and techniques required
一些技术与技巧
in the production of yeast bread,
来制作如发面面包
short pastry doughs, custards, pate a choux,
酥皮面团 奶黄饼 泡芙
and cake batters.
以及蛋糕糊等等
Chef Max, you are late.
麦克斯大厨 你迟到了
Wait, are sure class doesn't start at 10:17?
你确定课不是10点17分开始吗
Sorry, I got robbed on the subway by some jerk.
对不起 我在地铁上被混♥蛋给抢劫了
Hey, hey, hey, I'm right here.
喂喂喂 干嘛指鼻子骂我
I ran out of options, and I didn't wanna
我没钱走投无路
strip my way through pastry school.
又不想跳脱衣舞赚学费 所以...
That's an option?
可以靠脱衣舞赚学费吗
All right, Chefs. Let's focus.
好了 厨师们 专心点
Did he say he wants to "foke us"?
他刚是说他想"搞我们"[专心]吗 越洗越糟了
Morning, Bebe.
早安啊 碧碧
Hi. Oh, my God. What happened to you?
天啊 你这是怎么了
And I should tell you my doctor says
我先提醒你 我的医生说
I'm not allowed to hear bad news for another month.
我接下来一个月内都不应该听到坏消息
I apologize for my appearance.
抱歉我这么狼狈来上班
We got robbed on the subway,
但我们在地铁上被抢了
and then someone hit me with hot coffee.
然后被拿着热咖啡的人弄了一身
Then, I went to wash cold water on the stain
然后我去用了冷水想洗掉咖啡渍
and somehow wound up entering myself
结果没洗掉 还弄得像要参加
in a wet t shirt contest.
性感"湿身"选美赛了
Um, that's a lot of energy for me,
负面能量太多我扛不住
So I'm just gonna need to sit here
先让我坐在位子上休息
for a second and be quiet.
然后平静一会吧
I know we're being quiet, which I'm all about,
我知道我现在该让你平静 我也支持
but cute dogs.
好可爱的小狗啊
Oh, thanks. They're cocker spaniels.
谢谢 这是可卡犬
I rescue them.
我拯救了他们
You know, people rescue greyhounds and pit bulls,
大家都想着去拯救灰狗 斗牛犬啊
but everyone ignores the cocker spaniel.
但都没人想到可卡也需要拯救
They're like, "Ew, eye goo. Shoot it."
都觉得可卡犬恶心 要宰了他们
I have three cockers.
我养了三只可卡[三根鸡鸡]
Do you have any pets?
你有宠物吗
I have a horse, Chestnut.
有匹马 叫栗宝
He's a thoroughbred.
他是只纯种马
Well, what can I do first?
我该从哪里开始帮忙呢
What's this? Why am I holding a juice menu?
这是什么 为什么给了我果汁菜单
Every day, we get fresh pressed juice
每天我们都为所有学生与员工
for the students and the staff.
买新鲜的鲜榨果汁
What a treat.
太享受了
Fresh juice is such a scam
新鲜果汁是纯骗钱的
unless someone else is payin'.
但是别人请的就不算
I'll take the greens number three.
我要一杯绿色三号
Uh huh, well, put it on the list
好的 写上单子
when you get the other ones.
然后去问别人要喝什么吧
Wait, I'm supposed to get the juice?
等等 所以是我得去买果汁吗
Oh, boy, it's like I'm a bad news machine.
我就是坏消息集中地
Okay.
没关系
Happy to do it. Surprised, but happy.
乐意效劳 没意料到 但很乐意帮忙
Uh, maybe I could change into one of those cute Chef jackets.
那我可以借一套那可爱的厨师服穿穿吗
Oh, Chef Nicholas only permits pastry Chefs to wear these.
尼可拉斯大厨规定了只有烘焙厨师能穿
But I can't meet everyone on my first day looking like this.
但我不能第一天就这么狼狈的出场吧
I mean, it's already bad enough I'm the juice girl.
当买果汁的人已经够惨了吧
I have some workout clothes you can wear.
我有一些健身衣服可以给你穿
Don't worry. I haven't worn them yet.
你放心 我一次都还没穿过
But I will someday.
但总有一天会穿的
Hi. Hi, everyone.
你们好 大家好啊
I'm here to take the fresh juice orders
我是来问你们喝什么鲜果汁
and also to say this is not what I came to work in.
也顺便说一声 我本来上班穿的不是这个
What I came to work in had less eyes.
我穿的衣服可没瞪着大眼的狗头
Caroline, welcome.
卡洛琳 欢迎你
How is it going in the office so far? So great,
在办公室干得怎么样 很好
and so not what I came to work in.
我今天真不是穿这个来上班
I'm usually wearing Chanel, not le chien.
通常我穿的都是香奈儿 而不是犬衣
That's "dog" in French.
那是法语"狗"的意思
Oh, 'cause it's "dork" in English.
那也是英语"二"的意思
Well, it is lovely to see both of your faces.
很高兴见到你们俩
Class, we start with the basics.
同学 我们先从基本的开始
No, no, no, you in the back
不 不 后面的同学
Juice, miss? Care for a juice
喝果汁吗 小姐 想从一个
from someone who scored 1560 on her SATs?
高考成绩1560分的人那点果汁吗[旧制满分1600]
You can score more than 500?
你居然考超过500分
Why the hell are you wearing that?
你干嘛要穿这件衣服啊
I didn't think your chest could get any sadder.
这让你的胸部显得更平更悲哀
It's Bebe's.
这是碧碧的衣服
Max, taking juice orders is not what I came here to do.
麦克斯 我来这工作不是帮人点果汁的
I hear you. I'll have the ruby red.
我懂你意思 我点一杯宝石红
I always keep the edge clean,
我总是保持花嘴干净[龟头]
So when I'm squeezing it,
这样当我挤[射]的时候
It's not gonna have cream popping all over the place.
奶油[精♥液]就不会喷得哪儿都是了
Words to live by.
警世良言啊
I have the opposite problem.
可惜我恰恰相反
Yo, my cream's poppin' right now.
瞧 我的"奶油"喷涌而出
What are you doing?
你这是干嘛
You told me you were gonna take school seriously.
你答应过我会认真上课的
It's not me. That guy's a bad influence.
不能怪我 是那家伙带坏我
Look at him.
你看他
He looks like someone who sells drugs on Sesame Street.
他长得就像芝麻街卡通里买毒品的人
You're gonna get in trouble,
你敢玩出火就杀了你
and I am not wearing a cocker spaniel
我牺牲穿可卡犬衣服
so you can get kicked out of class.
可不是为了看你被踢出去
Right. I hear you.
好 我知道了
Now, where's my juice?
话说我的果汁呢
Hey, Chef Max. Check out my technique.
麦克斯大厨 快看我的独家技能
Awesome gross sound bonus.
超棒超恶心的声音
Chef, if you find this so funny,
大厨 你要觉得这样玩很有意思
why don't you take a fiver?
不如你出去跟"五指"姑娘玩吧
Isn't this how your saying goes?
反正你不就爱说这些吗
I don't have a saying,
我没爱说这些
but if I did, it'd be more like
但如果我有 那应该是
"Eatin' ain't cheatin'."
"口♥交不算偷吃"
Anyone else who finds something hilarious
如果有人觉得有东西很好笑
can also go into the hall.
可以跟他一起去走廊
Chef Max? Nope, nothing 'ilarious.
麦克斯大厨 不用了 一点都不好笑
Teach on.
继续上课吧
Enough with the dirty jokes.
不许再开黄腔了
We are all here to become master bakers.
我们来这的目的是成为优秀的面包师[自♥慰师]
Master baking is something I work really hard at it.
我在掌握烘焙[自♥慰]这方面可是下了不少[硬]功夫
To be a master baker I'll be in the hall.
要成为一名优秀的烘焙师 我自己去走廊吧
Hi, I'm Deke. Did you say "Freak?"
我是迪克 你刚是说自己是"怪胎"吗
Deke. Did you say "Geek?"
是迪克 是"怪咖"吗
Deke, as in "Big Deke."
大"鸟"迪克的迪克
Mine's bigger.
我的更大
We should be lab partners.
我们应该成为搭档
Come on. It'll be bitchin'.
来嘛 这组合超棒的
Max and Deke, making cakes.
超大号[麦克斯]大鸟 一起做蛋糕
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
周日 周日 周日
with a special performance by Creed.
主义乐团要为我们带来特别演出
Okay, now stop, stop, stop.
好了 别玩了 别玩了
I am trying to be a good student,
我在努力当个好学生
so you just stay away from me.
所以你离我远点
You are a bad influence.
你会带坏我的
And I know I nailed that speech 'cause kids at school
我这番话肯定超顺 因为小时候
used to say it to me all the time.
同学们总对我说这番话
Time to change your tampon? Yep.
到时间换卫生棉了吗 是的
Day two. Serious flow.
经期第二天 流♥量超大
Killer fanny pack. Where's your tribal poncho?
腰包真可爱 你的最炫民族风披肩在哪里
Ah, keep my needles in this.
那是用来放针的
You're a drug addict too?
你居然还是个瘾君子
God. You are irresistible.
天啊 想不跟你一起混真难
It's it's insulin. I'm a diabetic.
是用来打胰岛素的 我是个糖尿病患
A diabetic pastry Chef.
一个患有糖尿病的甜点大厨
Wow, you're even more self destructive than me.
你的自毁倾向比我的强多了
So diabetes, how is that?
糖尿病 什么感觉啊
Disappointing. I put in for syphilis.
很没劲 我宁可得梅毒
Stop laughing. I have to carry 27 juices
别笑了 老娘要穿着这衣服
2 blocks wearing this.
去两个街区外扛27杯果汁
Why'd you let the dog lady talk to you like that?
你干嘛让狗头女这样跟你说话啊
She's my friend, even in that shirt.
即使穿着那件傻♥逼衣服 她还是我的朋友
Well, there goes another $12.
又花了我12块钱
I have spent more money dry cleaning this blouse
我♥干洗这件衬衫的钱
than I have on health care.
比我健康保险上花的钱还多
Health care? You mean that box of band aids
健保 你是说我们从9毛9店
We got at the 99 cent store?
买回来的那一盒子止血贴吧
I just have to look good tomorrow.
我明天一定要漂漂亮亮地去上班
Today was mortifying.
今天太丢脸了
They called me "sad dog" at the juice place.
我被果汁店员叫"倒霉狗"
"Sad dog, your juices are ready.""
倒霉狗 你的果汁好了"
Sad dog, pick up.
倒霉狗 上菜了
Can you take these to table ten? I'm backed up on the booths.
你能拿去十号桌吗 我在照
看卡座区
Can you? I'm kind of just sitting here a minute,
你去吧 我要坐在这休息一会
enjoying not being told what to do.
享受不被人使唤的美好时光
I get enough of it at that school.
我在那间学校真是受够了
Look.
听着
If you're gonna do the mother thing, do it right.
如果你要学人老妈使唤小孩 学像点
Stick your hand in boiling oil or even more painful,
把你的手伸进油锅 或更惨一点
binge watch Shahs of Sunset on Bravo.
狂看精彩电视台的《日落沙哈》
讲述加州比佛利山的伊朗裔美国人如何 在种族传统和美国现代文化之间寻找平衡的故事
I need to talk to you in the kitchen now.
现在就进厨房 我有话跟你说
Leave, someone's about to get schooled about school.
出去 有人准备因为培训的事而被训
This looks like it's going to get dirty and ugly.
貌似场面会变得丑陋不堪[淫秽下流]
May I film it?
我可以录下来吗
And if so, may I then sell it on the internet?
如果可以录 我能放到网上卖吗
Look. You can't just do this for me.
听着 你这么做不能只是为了我
You're right. So we're out? No, we're not out,
说得对 那我们退学吗 当然不行
you said you were gonna do this for me.
你说过你会为我这么做的
I know, but you just said
我知道 可你刚不是说
I can't just do it for you,
我不能为了你才这么做吗
And I agree.
我觉得你说得对
I mean, who was I kidding? Me.
我的意思是 我骗谁啊 我啊
You were kidding me.
你骗我
I went in there thinking I was gonna use my business skills,
我去那里上班是想施展我的商
业才能
and whatever hope I had of a flirtation
而我曾经希望跟法国佬
with Frenchie McFrench went out the window
调情卖骚现在也没戏了
when he saw me wearing that T shirt that said,
因为他看见我穿着那件T恤 上面写着
"Don't forget to spay and neuter me.""
记得节育 勿忘阉♥割"
Fine, I can quit. It's fine.
好吧 我退学 没关系
It is? Really? No, it's not fine.
真的吗 假的 当然有关系啦
Who am I kidding? Me. You were kidding me.
我骗谁啊 我啊 你骗我
Well, you've gotta figure out something
你一定要在那里找到
there to keep you interested,
能让你保持兴趣的东西
because you can't go to pastry school just for me,
因为你去烘焙学校不能只是为了我
and I'm not gonna not go to pastry school for you.
而我也不会为了你而退学
Okay. You're right, Max.
好吧 你说得对 麦克斯
Of course I'll do it for you.
我当然会为你这么做
I just had a bad day.
我只是今天过得很糟糕
I mean, we both did.
我们都是
You lost your man's briefcase and your drugs,
你丢了书包和大♥麻
and I lost my dignity and a possible love interest.
而我丢了自尊和可能有的小恋情
Surprise!
惊喜吧
See, that's how it's supposed to go.
瞧 惊喜就应该是这样
We got you a new book bag.
我们给你买了个新书包
Yeah, and a new Chef's jacket.
一套新的大厨制服
And a switchblade.
还有一把弹簧刀
Yeah, 'cause we're not buyin' another Chef's jacket.
对啊 因为我们不想再买第三套大厨服了
Max, you know what this means?
麦克斯 你知道这意味着什么吗
That I got two surprises, and you got nothing?
我得到两次惊喜礼物 而你毛都没有吗
No, that everything's gonna work out at that school.
不 在学校一切都会好的
I mean, in the blink of an eye,
我是说 眨眼之间
just like this, things can change from bad to good.
就像这样 事情可以由坏变好
Well, not totally good.
也不算完全变好
They still haven't gotten me anything.
我依旧毛都没有
Caroline, you didn't not get anything.
卡洛琳 有你的礼物
Here, your very own pencil case.
给 你专属的铅笔盒
But no pencils. My pencil dealer got busted.
但没"铅笔" 我的"铅笔"供货商被抓了
Thank you, guys. I'm touched.
谢谢你们 我感动死了
I was not expecting it.
真是万万没想到啊
Really? 'cause you kinda bullied us all into it.
是吗 你可是拿一哭二闹三上吊来强迫我们
So that's a 780 on verbal,
我的SAT成绩语言成绩是780分
and a 780 on math.
数学成绩也是780分
And with my degree in Finance,
而且我拿的是金融学位
jackass ing around the city getting juice
在市里跑来跑去买果汁这种事
could be seen as a waste of my talents.
完全是在浪费我的天赋啊
And as the valedictorian at my graduation said
我毕业典礼时的优秀学生代表说过
and I'm stealin' from myself here,
也就是我自己说过
"I've seen the future of Finance,"
我看见了金融界的未来
and it's us."
也就是我们"
So you want me to get the juices?
所以你是想让我去买果汁吗
Just for today. Please?
就今天 拜托了
Meringue cookies are a simple way
法式蛋白餅乾是练习
to practice our pastry bag technique.
裱花袋技巧的最简单的方法
Hm, interesting technique you got going there, Chef.
真是个有趣的技巧啊 大厨
Dude, we gotta ditch these deadbeat partners.
伙计 我们得抛弃彼此的无聊搭档
I'm stuck over there with grandma.
我被一位老奶奶拖累
No, I'm staying with the big guy next to me.
不要 我不想换掉我旁边的大胖子
He's not gonna get me in trouble.
他才不会让我惹麻烦
He never talks. Get outta here.
他从不说话 快走开
Go back to your own table, Fat Albert.
回到你的桌子上去 胖子阿伯特
《胖子阿伯特》是美国70年代开始风行的热门卡通剧集 主角是一名黑胖子
Okay.
好吧
I'm going back.
我回去
And the Fat Albert thing was 'cause I'm black,
但你叫我胖子阿伯特 是因为我是黑人
Not fat, right?
不是胖 对不对
'cause I go to the gym two, three times a year.
因为我一年怎么也去两三次健身房吧
I hear talking, but no baking up front.
我听到前面只有说话声 没有干活声
No, no, no, you only hear baking.
不 不 你听到的只有干活声
Just furiously master baking up here.
这里在激烈地"干"呢
The meringue needs to have nice peaks.
蛋白餅乾要有漂亮的尖角
You are looking to make moist, pointy peaks.
你们要做出湿湿的尖尖角[乳♥头]
I like to pinch them.
我最喜欢捏"它们"了
Chef, seriously, man to man,
主厨 咱俩私下说一句
we got a problem.
有个问题
I don't think Max should be stuck with that big guy.
我觉得麦克斯不应该跟那个大胖子在一组
He's not cool.
他太猥琐了
I was just over there,
我刚在那边
and the only pointy peaks he's interested in are hers.
他唯一感兴趣的尖尖角在她身上
Talkin' boobies here, Chef.
我说的是她的咪♥咪 主厨
Chef John, Chef Deke here
约翰大厨 迪克大厨
Seems to think you are sexually harassing Max.
似乎觉得你在性骚扰麦克斯
Oh, please.
拜托哟
If I was harassing anyone, it would be you, Chef.
如果人家要性骚扰别人 那人肯定是你
I mean, come on.
你的魅力无法挡嘛
Be right back, big Mary.
马上回来 姐们儿
You know it.
你真懂我
Where's my juice? It's been an hour.
我的果汁呢 都过了一个小时了
The mood swing elf's getting them.
情绪波动的精灵去拿了
Look, I'm coming in there To flirt with Chef Nicholas,
听着 我要进去跟尼古拉斯主厨卖骚
and when I enter, I need you to say,
当我进去的时候 我要你说
"Caroline, you look amazing.""
卡洛琳 你看起来美呆了"
No.
不行
I actually physically can't say that.
我的身体不允许我说出这种话
I would rather walk in there and yell,
我宁愿冲进去大喊
"I have crabs, and three of them just escaped.""
我有阴虱 刚刚有三只逃跑了"
Call 9 1 1. Call 9 1 1.
快叫救护车 快叫救护车
Something's happened to the adorable mixed race one.
那个可爱的混血男出事啦
Deke?
迪克
He's diabetic. He needs insulin.
他有糖尿病 他需要打胰岛素
Has anyone here ever administered a needle?
这里有人会打♥针吗
Uh, administer means the same thing as "shove it in," right?
"打♥针"就跟"把针插♥进♥去"的意思一样 对吧
Good, good, good, Max. Come, come, come.
很好 很好 麦克斯 你过来
Okay, uh, his syringes are in his fanny pack.
好的 他的注射器在腰包
I've actually never done this
老实说 我之前干这种事时
without Iron Maiden playing in the background,
都得听着重金属摇滚乐
But I'll give it a shot.
但我来打打看吧
Just put it anywhere in my hot bod.
在我性感的身躯上随便打一针就行
God help us.
上帝保佑
Oh, I hate needles. I can't look.
我讨厌针 我不敢看了
Get it together, ladies.
女士们 别惊慌失措好吗
This is why I'm not allowed to hold babies.
所以医生不准我抱小孩
Max, I think you and Deke should be lab partners from now on
麦克斯 从现在开始你和迪克一组
in case something like this happens again.
以防今天的事再次发生
Is that okay? I guess if I have to.
没问题吧 我别无选择
Max?
麦克斯 你呢
I guess if I have to.
我也别无选择
What, did you not take your insulin on purpose?
你是故意不按时打胰岛素吗
I really wanted to be your partner.
人家真的很想做你搭档嘛
Bebe, I can't find a Chef jacket anywhere in here.
碧碧 我在这里找不到大厨上衣
And I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to wear one,
很抱歉 我知道我不应该穿那个
but I'm really cold,
但我真的很冷
and I can't walk around like this all day.
我不能一天都穿着这身衣服走来走去
Maybe I can help.
或许我可以帮你
You can't stand there wet and cold.
你不能又湿又冷地站着
Take my jacket. Oh, no, no, no.
穿我的上衣吧 不 不
You don't have oh, that'll work.
不用了 那也行
I'm sorry about the no shirt under,
不好意思我里面没穿衣服
but I just get so hot when I'm teaching.
我上课的时候 总是觉得很热
Yeah, hot. So hot.
是啊 热 太热[性感]了
Oh mon dieu.
我的天啊[法语]
I was just giving it to Caroline.
我正准备[射]给卡洛琳呢
I mean, she needs something to wear,
我是说 她需要换件衣服
and and now, she has it.
我就把我的给她了
Chef, I will see you later.
大厨 晚点见
Caroline.
卡洛琳
Max, I think I found something to keep me interested.
麦克斯 我我找到让我性致昂扬的
东西了
This is weird. So I'm the good student now?
这下奇怪了 现在我成了好学生
And you're the one sleeping with the teacher?
而你却成了跟老师上床的那个
We're not sleeping together.
我们又没上床
Why? Do you think he wants to?
干嘛这么说 你觉得他想要我吗
I don't know, but you better hurry it up
我不知道 但在胖子姐们儿扑过去前
before big Mary gets him.
你最好早点下手