面点学校的心愿

Stealing Han's dishes
把阿憨的盘子偷回家
so we don't have to clean ours at home is genius.
我们的就不用洗了 这做法太聪明了
And a little sad.
同时也有点小可悲
Are you kidding?
开什么玩笑
This is the greatest thing that's happened to me
这是早上来大姨妈后
Since I got my period this morning.
发生在我身上最棒的事情了
Max, Caroline, you're stealing my dishes?
麦克斯 卡洛琳 你们居然偷我的盘子
Damn it, I didn't think you could see up this high.
靠 我还以为这么高你会看不见呢
And I didn't think you could sink this low.
我也以为这么低贱的事你们干不出来呢
Okay, stop, you're already robbing me blind
住手 我们已经用"我是个服务员"的把戏
with your "I'm a waitress" scam.
骗走我很多钱了
Sorry, but things have gotten kind of messy at home.
抱歉嘛 但最近我们家里有点脏乱
Yesterday, I had to take a shower
昨天我得洗第二次澡
to shower off the shower I took.
才洗干净我第一次洗澡时弄脏的
You two should get a cleaning lady.
你们俩应该请个清洁工
I have a woman I pay to clean my apartment.
我有花钱请个妞来帮我打扫公寓
She is expensive, but she may charge you less
她收费挺高的 但如果不包括上床的话
if you don't also have sex on her.
她可能会少收一点
I'll look into it.
我帮你们问问看吧
My grandmother cleaned the house free of charge.
我奶奶以前打扫房子都不要钱
Of course she didn't have a say in the matter.
当然不是她不要 而是没人给
Let's just ask Sophie. She has a cleaning service.
我们问问苏菲把 她有个清洁公司
We have to do something.
我们必须得采取行动了
Yesterday, I saw a roach walk out of our apartment.
昨天我看见一只蟑螂爬出了我们的公寓
Look.
听着
I'm gonna tell you what I told that guy
对于此事 我的回答就跟有人曾问我
who asked me to use my butt to smuggle opium.
能否用我的屁♥股帮他走私鸦♥片时一样
I'll do it!
当然好啦
Be ready, Max.
快准备好 麦克斯
We have to leave as soon as the cleaning lady gets here.
等清洁工一到 我们就得走啦
It's housekeeper etiquette.
这是屋主不成文的规矩
In my old life, I go to spin class and lunch with friends,
我以前会去健身馆上单车课 然后跟朋友吃午饭
but you and I will just go outside
但现在我们只能去外面
and watch the guy who just got out of jail
看那个刚从监狱放出来的家伙
do pull ups on the light post.
在灯柱上做引体向上
Calvin's out?
卡尔文出狱了吗
I'm not gonna leave.
我才不会走
I want to watch her clean up my mess.
我要看着她收拾我弄的烂摊子
Yeah, baby.
没错 宝贝
I've waited my whole life to have a servant.
我等了一辈子 终于等来个仆人了
I thought you were gonna be it for the first few weeks
开始那几周 我以为你会成为我的仆人
and then I realized you can't do anything.
但后来我发现你什么都不会做
And even though Sophie gave us a discount,
即使苏菲给我们打了个折
the maid still has to call me "Your highness."
那女仆还是得称我为"殿下"[高]
Mostly because I'm pretty "highness" right now.
主要因为我现在抽大♥麻嗨"高"了
Hi, girls.
姑娘们
Here I am.
我来啦
Sophie from Sophie's choice cleaning service."
苏菲的选择清洁公司"的苏菲
Meet your cleaning lady Paulina.
这位是你们的清洁工 宝琳娜
Paulina, meet the girls.
宝琳娜 这两位是屋主
She'd shake hands, but she only has one arm.
她也想握手 但她只有一条胳膊
Sophie, she can hear you.
苏菲 她能听到你说话
So what? I know I'm missing arm.
那又怎么样 我知道我少了条胳膊
It's not news.
这又不是什么新闻
So she lost an arm.
她不就是丢了条胳膊嘛
I lost my gold earring down the garbage disposal
我的金耳环还丢在垃圾处理机了呢
but I was too afraid to reach into it
但我不敢伸手去拿
Because, well, yeah.
因为 你们懂的
Don't worry.
别担心
I have one arm but I clean like I have three.
打扫起来 我一条胳膊顶三条用
I put on more makeup, then I start.
我去补补妆 然后就开始干活
I'm sorry.
不好意思
I didn't realize when I ordered a cleaning lady
我真不知道请清洁工时
I had to specify I wanted one with two arms.
还得特地说明我要两只手都能干活的
You can't afford two arms.
两条胳膊的你请不起
You said you wanted a good price.
你说了要便宜点
Half the arms, half the price.
所以一条胳膊 一半价格
Is that how she lost the arm, Sophie?
所以她那条胳膊才没的吧 苏菲
You cut it off so we could get a discount?
你为了给我们打折 所以打折了她的胳膊
Oh, yeah, sure.
是啊 没错
Yeah, I sawed off her arm so I could save you 10 bucks.
我把她的胳膊锯下来 只为了给你们省10块钱
I start in bedroom.
我先从卧室开始
Wait, before you do, one question.
慢着 在开工前问你个问题
How'd you lose it? James Franco situation?
你的胳膊怎么没的 像詹姆斯·弗兰科那样吗
詹姆斯·弗兰科在电影《127小时》中 被困在峡谷里不得不割断自己胳膊以逃生
You had to cut it off to get loose?
为了逃命必须把胳膊割断吗
You're not saying no.
沉默等于默认
Oh, you know what, let's not go there.
算了吧 还是不要深究了
You know, it happened, it was in the past.
都发生了 就让它过去吧
I was trapped under this big truck.
我被困在一辆大卡车下
We get it.
知道啦
I drove over your arm.
是我从你胳膊上碾了过去
Hey, don't even bother looking for my good jewelry in there
别费力气去卧室翻我的好首饰了
because I'm already wearing all of it.
因为我已经全部戴在身上了
Oh, I'm jealous I don't have arm
真是羡慕死我了 我居然没有胳膊
to wear cheap jewelry.
戴这种廉价的首饰
Max, I feel bad for her.
麦克斯 我觉得她很可怜
See? This is why you leave.
瞧 这就是我们要离开的原因
In case they show up with too much makeup
以防清洁工妆太浓
and not enough arms.
而胳膊太少
Relax, she's tough.
放心 她很坚强
Reminds me of a young me.
让我想起年轻的我
Which means I better go hide my pills from her.
也就是说我要去把药藏起来 以防她找到
Max, don't leave, she scares me.
麦克斯 别走 我怕她
Oh, come on, she's armless.
拜托 她没有手[武器]好吗
Everything okay? You need any help?
一切顺利吗 需要帮忙吗
I didn't get this far in this business by taking help.
我在打扫这行能有今天 可不是靠别人帮忙的
Help me! Can't you see I got one arm?
帮帮我 你没看见我只有一条胳膊
Not gonna be a problem.
没问题
I would occasionally help my maid
我偶尔也会帮我的女仆
You're not interested.
你不想听是吧
Lift!
抬起来
Lift, weak girl. Lift.
使劲 小弱鸡 抬起来
Max, come here. We need help lifting your mattress.
麦克斯 过来 我们要把你的床垫抬起来
Can you give us a hand?
你能帮我们一把吗
No! Leave it alone! Leave it alone!
不 别抬 放下来
Don't lift up the mattress!
不要把床垫抬起来
Ah, porno.
黄书
Your mind is as dirty as your apartment!
你的思想跟你的公寓一样脏
Yes, it's porn. So what? What's the big deal?
是黄书怎么样 有什么大不了的
It's just the body in its natural form,
那不过是人类正常的肉体
spread eagle on a motorcycle.
在摩托车上叉开腿卖骚而已
Why is so much of it from the 80's?
为什么大部分人看着都像80年代的啊
I like mustaches, okay?
我喜欢小胡子 可以了吗
And it's multitasking. I'm looking for my father.
而且我还有另一项任务 就是寻找我的生父
Stop looking. Stop looking right now.
别看了 不许看了
Why are you suddenly embarrassed?
你干嘛突然不好意思啊
porn Hub is your homepage.
你的主页就是"色情之家"
世界上最出名的色♥情♥网♥站
Hey, is this a brochure for pastry school?
这是烘焙学校的宣传册吗
Why are you hiding a pastry school brochure?
你为什么要把烘焙学校的宣传册藏起来
Your face is a pastry school brochure!
你妹才藏烘焙学校的宣传册呢
Max, it's great you're interested in pastry school.
麦克斯 你对烘焙学校感兴趣很好啊
I don't know why you're embarrassed.
为什么你要不好意思呢
Your face is embarrassed!
你妹才不好意思呢
Come on, I really think that this is
别这样嘛 我真的觉得
something we should talk about.
我们该好好谈谈这事
Your face is something we should talk about!
你妹才要跟你谈呢
You made the scary one mad.
你把吓人的妞气跑了
That was dumb move.
真是愚蠢之极啊
Your face was a dumb move!
你妹才愚蠢之极呢
Max?
麦克斯
Max, you never came home after you stormed out,
麦克斯 你冲出去就再也没有回来
so I brought you your uniform.
所以我把你的制服带来了
Max?
麦克斯
I live here now.
老娘现在住这里了
My new roommates, the broom and the mop,
我的新室友 扫把和拖把
don't sneak around looking at my stuff.
不会鬼鬼祟祟乱翻我的东西
I got everything I need.
这里什么都有
Whiskey, toothbrush, toothpaste.
威士忌 牙刷 牙膏
Well, maybe your new broommate
或许你的扫把室友
will hold back your hair when you drink too much.
会在你喝醉狂吐时 把你的头发往后拉
Which, from the looks of it, will be in about an hour.
依你现在的状态看 离狂吐还有不到一小时
Max, we really need to talk about this brochure.
麦克斯 我们真的谈谈这本宣传册
Look, just because I have a pastry school brochure
就因为我有一本烘焙学校的宣传册
doesn't mean I'm actually gonna go to pastry school.
并不意味着我真的想去
Just like having those porn magazines
就像我有很多黄书
doesn't mean I'm actually gonna ride around on a tiger
也不意味着我会真的骑着一只老虎
performing unspeakable acts with sailors, probably.
跟水手们做一些很黄很暴力的行为
大概不会吧
Pastry school is the same as porn.
烘焙学校就跟黄书一样
It's just a dumb fantasy.
不过是愚蠢意淫而已
Pastry school is not like porn.
烘焙学校才不像黄书
There is nothing in this brochure about a girl on girl croissant
这本宣传册上完全没有提及女女合欢羊角面包
That's good toothpaste.
这牙膏真不错
Please stop brushing your teeth.
拜托别拿酒刷牙了
We have a shift to do later.
我们晚点还要上班呢
Okay, the Manhattan school of pastry
曼哈顿的烘培学校
Your face is the Manhattan school of pastry.
你妹才是曼哈顿的烘培学校
You know it isn't.
我也希望是
Max, you could go here for real.
麦克斯 你真的可以去上
Tuition is only $3,000 a year. A lot, but doable.
学费一年才三千 虽然很多 但上得起
A lot but doable?
虽然很多 但上得起
Are we talking about pastry school or fat guy at last call?
我们说的是烘焙学校 还是快打烊时使劲点餐的胖子
Here we are, Max. Your dream starts now.
我们到了 麦克斯 你的梦想从现在开始
What, the one where I'm a black mermaid?
我要变成黑色美人鱼了吗
Would you relax?
放松点行吗
We're just gonna look around and get an application.
我们就四处看看 然后拿份申请表
See all that gorgeous equipment you get to use if you went here?
如果你来这学♥习 就能用
所有这些高档的设备
Finally you'd have a mixing bowl
你终于要有一个真正的搅拌碗了
that's not a hollowed out watermelon.
而不是中间挖空的西瓜
Can you help me?
能救救我吗
She's holding me against my will.
我是被她挟持的人质
She's kidding.
她开玩笑呢
If you keep this up, young lady,
小姑娘 如果你一直这样
you are not getting ice cream after.
别想有冰淇淋吃
Fine!
好啦
Come on, here's the office.
过来 办公室在这
Whatever. Are we almost done here?
随便啦 完事了没啊
I got a court date later.
我等下要出庭受审呢
Hi.
你好
Hi.
你好
Hi.
你好
Hi.
你好
I'm not sure we're in the right place.
我不确定我们是否来对地方了
Are any of us really?
我们仨都没来对吗
We'd like an application. Could you help us?
我们想要份申请表 你可以帮个忙吗
Oh, god, I hope so.
天啊 希望可以
I wasn't expecting something this high pressure
我没想到第一天回来 就会碰到
my first day back.
这么高强度的工作
Let's just say I've been under observation at the nuthouse.
我之前在精神病院留院观察了一段时间
Okay, application.
好的 申请表是吧
It's for Max, here.
是麦克斯要的
She was very impressed by your brochure.
你们的宣传册给她留下深刻的印象
Oh, pastry school. Exciting, right?
烘焙学校 令人兴奋 对吧
I was a chef here once. And then I wasn't.
我曾是一位大厨 但后来就不是了
Oh, look. Found the application.
瞧 找到申请表了
Really didn't think I was gonna be able to handle that.
真的没想到我能处理好这件事
Bebe, if you
碧碧 如果你...
Bonjour. Good morning.
早安[法语] 早上好
Chef Nicolas, these girls are here for an application.
尼古拉斯主厨 这两位姑娘是来拿申请表的
Don't worry, I handled it.
别担心 我处理好了
Almost didn't, then I did.
差点失败 但我成功了
Nice work, Bebe.
干得好 碧碧
Oh, do I detect a French accent? Oui?
我好像听出来有法国口音哦 是吗
Oh, my god, I can't watch.
天啊 我看不下眼了
French, indeed. I'm chef Nicolas Saintcroix,
其实我是法国人 我是主厨尼古拉斯·圣克劳
Owner and head chef. Bienvenue.
校长兼厨师长 欢迎你们
Caroline Channing.
我是卡洛琳·钱宁
Is it over yet?
你丢脸丢完了吗
This is Max. The application's for her.
这是麦克斯 是她要申请你们学校
'Sup, Frenchie? You eat snails?
你好 法国佬 你吃蜗牛吗
It looks like bebe forgot the second page.
貌似碧碧忘了给你们第二页了
Oh, boy, forgot the second page. That's not good.
天啊 忘了第二页 这可不好
I thought I handled it. Didn't handle it.
我以为我能处理好 但还是失败了
It's okay, Bebe. Breathe in.
没关系 碧碧 吸气
Breathe out.
呼气
That's good stuff.
的确是好方法
She was quite brilliant.
她曾经非常优秀
Then she wasn't.
但后来就不优秀了
Here. Fill that out.
给 把这表填了
And the next step is the pastry exam.
下一步就是烘焙测试
Applicants will have to make a classic tart,
申请者要做一个经♥典的水果塔
bring them in tomorrow for me to taste,
明天拿给我尝尝
and we will go from there. Sound good?
然后再决定录用与否 可以吗
Whatever. Maybe I'll think about it.
随便啦 或许我会考虑下
Okay, well, maybe you will.
好吧 或许你会
Nice meeting you both.
很高兴见到你们俩
Hope to see you tomorrow, chef.
希望明天能看见你哦 大厨
He called me chef!
他刚叫我大厨
Yay! Let's go get ice cream! No!
太棒了 咱们去买冰淇淋吧 不行
You should get started on that tart.
你应该开始做水果塔
It's due tomorrow.
明天就要交了
I got plenty of time.
我有大把时间呢
Besides, pressure ups my game.
再说了 有压力才会有动力
I perform my best when there's a gun to my head.
当有人拿枪指着我的头时 我会做得更好
Ask any of my ex boyfriends.
不信问我以前的男朋友
This is so not how I prepare for tests.
我可不会这么对待我的考试[检查]
I studied three weeks for a pap smear.
就连子宫颈抹片检查 我都得先研究三周
Don't worry, I got this.
别担心 我能行
A tart's just like a cookie with some pudding on it, right?
水果塔就是往饼干上放点布丁 对吧
Max, what is going on in here?
麦克斯 这里是什么情况
Turns out a tart's more than a cookie with some pudding on it!
原来水果塔不止往饼干上放点布丁那么简单
You've been in here six hours. You said you had this.
你都在里面六小时了 你说过你能行的
I thought I had this! Turns out I don't!
我以为我能行 但原来我不行
I haven't even finished a shell.
我甚至连塔皮都没做出来
I didn't know there was a shell. Did you know there was a shell?
我都不知道到底有没有塔皮 你觉得有吗
Everybody knows there's a shell!
水果塔当然有塔皮啦
What the shell is wrong with you?
你的脑子怎么了 也没皮了吗
I'm a tart who can't make a tart!
我是一个不会做水果塔的贱♥人[tart一词多义]
You could've made nine shells by now.
到现在你早应该做出九个塔皮了
I did. They're all in here. Look.
我做了啊 它们都在这呢 看
It's like Shell Mageddon!
这就是"死亡塔皮"
源自一款名为《死亡赛车 Carmageddon》的赛车游戏 玩家可以任意辗压过路行人 游戏画面血腥暴力
Oh, screw it. This one's gonna be there in a minute.
不管了 反正这个等下也要进垃圾桶
Let's just get it over with.
还不如先扔进去呢
No, you can do this. Here. Here.
不 你不能这样做 来
This still looks ready to go.
这个看起来还不错
Look at me. Look at me. I'm a waste of two arms.
看看我 真是白瞎了我有两条胳膊
I can't make a tart!
我连水果塔都做不出来
How's the tart coming?
水果塔做得怎么样了
Han, you're not safe. Leave.
阿憨 这里不安全 快走
You haven't even finished the shell?
你连塔皮还没有做出来
That's the easiest part!
这可是最简单的部分啊
Han, this is your face.
阿憨 这是你的脸
Well, I should get going.
好吧 我还是走吧
I didn't know she could take bitch to the next level.
真不知道她能把坏脾气上升到暴力事件
I am so screwed!
我彻底完了
I finally found a situation my boobs can't get me out of!
终于出现一种情况 不能靠我的
大胸过关了
Hey, Max. Now, I have all the faith in the world in you.
麦克斯 我对你超级有信心
But here's a tart from Stop 'n Shop
但这是我从便利店买来的水果塔
in case you wanted to hand this one in.
以备明天不时之需
No, Earl. Max is not a cheater.
不行 厄尔 麦克斯从不骗人
Since when?
谁说的
She is going to make her own tart.
她要靠自己做出水果塔
You, out.
你 出去
I am never gonna make this shell.
我肯定做不出塔皮
I can't even get it in the pan right.
我连放到盘里都放不对
Max, that looks right.
麦克斯 你放对了
Oh, my god! I got it in the pan right!
天啊 我放对了
I can do this! You did it! I knew it!
我可以做到 你做到了 我就知道
I helped you. We're besties.
我帮了你 我们是好闺蜜
You're not safe. Leave. Okay.
这里不安全 快走 遵命
I'm telling you, Max, I've tasted a lot of tarts,
告诉你 麦克斯 我吃过这么多水果塔[浪女]
and yours is delicious.
你的最好吃
You are not the first man to tell me that.
你不是第一个这么说的人
The first man to tell me that is in jail.
第一个这么说的人 现在在蹲牢子呢
Here he comes.
他来了
Look at him. Here he comes.
快看 他来了
Afternoon, ladies.
下午好 女士们
Bien fondue, Eiffel tower.
芝士火锅[法语] 艾菲尔铁塔
Okay.
好的
Thank you for coming. Shall we begin the tasting?
感谢你们的到来 可以开始试吃了吗
This is exciting, huh?
真令人兴奋 对吧
Keep it in your pants.
勒紧你的裤子
And now for the tart.
这是水果塔
It's Max's first ever.
这是麦克斯第一次做
I ate a slice earlier and it was like
我之前吃了一小块
having a little piece of heaven.
尝起来宛若天堂啊
Don't do anything you're doing.
快给我闭嘴
It's flaky, creamy...
塔皮薄 里馅滑
For a first attempt, I am very impressed.
第一次就能做成这样 我很惊讶
Don't be. I made a tart.
别惊讶 我不过做了个水果塔
It's not like I cured herpes
又不是治愈了疱疹
or invented a reverse microwave to instantly chill sodas.
或是发明了能立刻冷冻苏打水的
逆向微波炉
Okay, Max.
好的 麦克斯
I will talk it over with my faculty
我和其他教员商量一下
and we will let you know.
你们回去等通知吧
I'll let you know.
你也等我通知吧
Nailed that.
成功啦
Max!
麦克斯
Stop stealing my things! You got a cleaning lady!
别偷我的东西了 你已经有清洁工了
Relax. I am returning what I took.
放心 我是来还东西的
Here's your plates.
这是你的盘子
Oh, and here's your ATM card. I lifted it from your wallet.
这是你的银行卡 我从你钱包拿
的
Oh, and here's your wallet.
对了 这是你的钱包
There was $40 in here.
里面不是有四十块吗
There sure was.
那是以前的事了
At least give me back my gift card from Sephora.
至少把我丝芙兰的礼品卡还给我吧
Caroline, Han wants his Sephora gift card back.
卡洛琳 阿憨想要回他丝芙兰的礼品卡
Oh, that's not happening. It's already on my face.
要不回来了 全用在我脸上了
Max, look, it's from the pastry school.
麦克斯 烘焙学校寄来的信
My acceptance letter!
我的录取通知书
Lot of people talking about my chili in that bathroom.
厕所里有很多人在讨论我做的辣椒啊
Oleg, come here. Han, Earl, stay.
奥列格过来 阿憨和厄尔待在原地
You guys are about to owe me big.
你们都要感谢我
I am gonna let you witness something extremely rare.
因为我要让你们见证一件极其罕见的事
More rare than a sighting of bigfoot or a UFO or Han's penis.
比看见大脚怪 UFO还有阿憨的小鸡鸡还罕见哦
You held me here so I could hear that?
你不让我走 是为了让我听这句话吗
Behold, the rarest sight of them all.
各位观众 全世界最罕见的事情
You are about to see something good actually happen to me.
你们即将看见有好事要发生在我身上
Listen to this.
注意听啦
"Dear Ms. Black, after careful consideration"
亲爱的布莱克小姐 在对众多申请者
of our large pool of applicants,
进行深思熟虑之后
we regret to inform you..."
我们抱歉地通知你"
Oh, I guess I didn't get in.
我猜我没被录取
Looking back, we probably should have insisted
回头想想 我们当初应该坚持
she read that to herself first.
让她自己看那封信就好
I know why she didn't get in. Her name.
我知道她没被录取是因为她的姓
They saw the word "Black" and stopped reading.
他们一看见"布莱克[黑]"这个词 就把申请表扔一边了
That's why I didn't get into law school.
这就是为什么我没被法学院录取
I also didn't apply.
当然我也懒得申请
This is terrible. I'm gonna go see if she's okay.
这太糟糕了 我去看看她还好吗
Who does that French frog think he is?
那只法国青蛙以为自己是谁啊
He thinks he can have the time of his life tasting my tart
他觉得在品尝完我的水果塔后
and then never see me again?
就可以拍拍屁♥股走人吗
He won't let me into his school?
他的学校不录取我
Well, I won't take no for an answer.
我不允许别人拒绝我
I am going down there right now
我现在就杀过去
and giving him a piece of my mind.
告诉他我的真实想法
I am storming out.
气死我了
And I am storming back in.
我又死回来了
It is dark outside. That school's not open.
天黑了 学校不开门
Hey, you.
喂 就是你
Tart tease, we need a word.
水果塔混球 我有话跟你说
Oh, boy. What?
天啊 怎么了
You love my pastries and then regret to inform me
你说你喜欢我的水果塔 然后抱歉地
通知我
I'm not good enough for your school?
我不够格念你的学校
Well, I regret to inform you that I am good enough
我抱歉地通知你 我绝对够格
and I want to know why you won't let me in here.
我想知道你不录取我的原因
Okay, uh, your voice is an anxiety trigger for me.
你的声音会触发我的焦虑症
I'm going to have to remove myself from the situation
现在这状况不适合我 我要离开这里
and go sit in the hallway.
去走廊坐着
Can you come with me? You have a very calming presence.
你能陪我去吗 你的存在能安
抚人心
Thank you. So few people think that about me.
谢谢 很少有人会这么觉得
But I should stay with Max.
但我应该陪着麦克斯
No, I got this handled. You can have her.
去吧 我能处理好 你可以带她走
This is the last time you give me to someone.
这是你最后一次把我扔给别人
Max, your tart was excellent.
麦克斯 你的水果塔做得很棒
The problem was your attitude.
但问题在于你的态度
You showed no passion of wanting to be in this school.
你对这个学校没表现出半点热忱
And that is why you didn't get in.
这就是你没被录取的原因
It seemed like you didn't want it.
因为你看上去并不想来这
No, no, no, that's just my attitude.
不 我对什么事都是这态度
I act like I don't want anything
我表现得我不喜欢任何事物
because I never got anything I wanted.
是因为我从来没得到过我想要的
But I do want to go to this school
但我的确很想来这个学校
more than I've ever wanted anything.
超越我以前所有热忱
It's my fantasy and my dream,
这是我的幻想 也是我的梦想
and please stop making me use these horrible, horrible words!
拜托不要再让我继续说这些恶心的词了
Just let me in, okay?
求求你 录取我吧
Okay.
好吧
Wait, for real? Yes.
等等 真的吗 真的
I needed to see if your passion was as good as your pastry
我只想看看你的热忱是不是跟你的水果塔一样棒
and you just showed me it was.
而你已经表现给我看了
I'm thrilled to have you on board, chef.
非常高兴你加入我们 大厨
Thanks, chef.
谢谢 主厨
Bebe is having a panic attack and needs to hold her lemon.
碧碧恐慌症发作 她说要抱她
的柠檬
lemon
在同人小说中 指明显的性描写
Has anyone seen her lemon?
有人见过她的柠檬吗
Caroline, he let me in. I'm going to pastry school.
卡洛琳 他录取我了 我要上烘焙学校啦
Everybody has to call me "Chef" now!
从现在开始 人人都得叫我"大厨"
You did it, chef!
你成功了 大厨
You're going to the pastry school from the brochure!
你被宣传册上的烘焙学校录取了
Aren't you glad I looked at your porn?
你是不是该高兴我看了你的黄书啊
We're roommates. Both single. Quelle surprise.
我们是室友 都是单身 很惊喜吧
So Max, once you fill out these,
麦克斯 只要把表填了
you will be officially enrolled.
你就算正式人学了
And of course we will need your tuition check.
当然你还得先交学费
Yup. $3,000. It's a lot for us.
三千块嘛 这对我们来说是一大笔钱
But if we make some cutbacks, 1/2 ply toilet paper.
但我们可以削减开支 厕纸省着用好了
Who am I kidding? No toilet paper, diner napkins.
开什么玩笑 厕纸和餐巾纸都不要了
No, tuition is 24,000.
不 学费是两万四
But the brochure said $3,000 a year.
但宣传册上是写一年三千啊
You misread it. It's $3,000 a unit.
你看错了 是一课时三千
There is eight units per year. 24,000.
一年有八个课时呢 一共是两万四
It costs $24,000?
学费要两万四
We can't pay that.
这我们可付不起
Oh, my god, now I'm never gonna be able to come here
天啊 我再也不能来这里了
and I just admitted I wanted to!
而我刚才却承认了我很想来
I take back everything I ever said about wanting anything.
我收回我刚说的话 我什么也不想要
Max, you can't just storm out.
麦克斯 你不能就这么一走了之
Your face can't just storm out!
你妹才一走了之
Look, I will do anything for that girl to go to this school.
为了让她上学 我愿意做一切事情
In exchange for tuition, I could work in the office.
我可以在办公室帮忙 以换取学费
Bebe clearly needs someone to help take the pressure off
碧碧显然需要人来帮她解除压力
And who better than a mentally stable
我是沃顿毕业 而且精神稳定
Wharton graduate like myself?
没有比我更合适的人选了
But I'll do anything.
但我什么都愿意干
I'll even wash your floors, okay?
甚至连洗地板都行
Although I'm sure there's something better than that.
虽然我觉得肯定有比这更好的活
But if you need me to wash the floors,
但如果你需要我洗地板
I will wash the floors.
我就洗地板
Really would prefer to do anything else,
虽然我更想做其他工作
but I'll do it, 'cause I'll do anything
但我还是会做 因为为了她 to get her into this school.
我什么都愿意做
Please no floors.
拜托不要让我洗地板
Okay, I will talk it over with my staff
好吧 我和其他员工商量一下
and I will let you know.
你回去等通知吧
Oh, no, no.
不 不行
I've seen what happens
我知道你那句
when you give people the "I'll let you know.""
回去等通知"的后果
I'm not going anywhere until you let me know to my face.
我哪儿不去 直到你当面告诉我
With your face. Your beautiful, beautiful face.
用你那张帅气迷人的脸蛋告诉我
Max, we're not poor enough?
麦克斯 我们还不穷吗
You're starting a hobo trash fire in our apartment?
你居然在公寓里像流浪汉一样烧垃圾生火
Yup. I'm burning my porn and pastry school brochure.
是啊 我把黄书和烘焙学校的宣传册都烧掉
You know, all my fantasies.
也就是我全部的幻想
If I learned anything in life
我这一生中学到一件事
it's that nothing's more flammable than my dreams.
就是没有什么比我的梦想更易燃
Are those my slipper socks in there?
那是我的鞋袜吗
Yeah, those needed to die too.
是的 它们也该死
Well, while you were in our living room
当你在我们的客厅
hosting a Burning Man Festival,
举行"火人节"时
I was at the pastry school getting us
我在烘焙学校努力说服他们
a work study arrangement.
让我们半工半学
And...
然后
You're going to pastry school. No way!
你要去烘培学校啦 不是吧
Here you go. Your school uniform.
给 你的校服
This is where my name's gonna go!
我的名字要绣在这上面
My chef name, Conchita Bonfire.
我的主厨名 肯小鲍·篝火
Thank you for this.
谢谢你
And for everything.
为我做的一切
You don't have to thank me.
你不用谢我
'cause with your new skills I'm gonna use you
因为我以后要利用你的新技能
like Kim uses kanye.
就像金·卡戴珊利用坎耶那样
金·卡戴珊是有名的话题女王 经常会登上大小媒体的头条 其男友是美国著名饶舌歌手坎耶·韦斯特
Or Kanye uses Kim. I'm not sure which of them is winning.
或像坎耶利用金·卡戴珊那样 我不确定谁搏的版面比较多
What kind of work study arrangement did you make for me?
我到底要怎么半工半学法
It's more of a work study arrangement for us.
其实是我们一起半工半学
I'll be working in the office helping out bebe,
我会在办公室工作 帮忙碧碧
so I'm working, you're studying.
也就是我工作 你学♥习
You're working at my school?
你居然要去人家学校工作
Mom!
不是吧 老妈