甜品酒吧开张风波迭起

Hey, Earl.
厄尔
It's the brand new us in brand new gently used outfits.
全新的我们穿着别人没怎么穿过的二手衣
The pit stains are vintage.
污渍走得可是复古风呢
I dug mine out of a dumpster.
我这身是从垃圾桶翻出来的
It wasn't even touching the diaper.
完全没有接触到任何尿布的呢
I'm not used to seeing you girls in clothes.
我看你们俩穿[自己]衣服好不习♥惯
Things just sound creepier when you're old.
老头子说这话 听起来更变态
As new part owners of the diner,
作为餐厅的新合伙人
we're making improvements.
我们要作出改进
Heh, not in the food or decor
当然不是改进食物或装修
cause LOL.
因为 呵呵你懂的'
But we're just gonna look better.
但改进的是我们 要更美
Oleg, did you hear the news?
奥列格 你听说了吗
We're not wearing uniforms anymore.
我们以后不♥穿制服上班啦
Cool.
好啊
Let's do it.
那就不♥穿了
Just say the word.
只要一句话
The underwear is tearaway too.
内♥裤也是一撕就掉哦
Don't say words.
千万别说话
Oh, God!
天啊
I think I just looked into the eye of the tiger.
我觉得我仿佛已经看到了他的"马眼"了
Oh, it's my roach friend, Pierre.
我的蟑螂朋友皮埃尔来了
Bonjour, Pierre.
你好[法语] 皮埃尔
Au revoir, Pierre.
再见[法语] 皮埃尔
Stop, drop, and roll!
停下 趴下 打滚
You're on fire.
你身上着火了
You're on fire.
你身上着火了
Now scissor a little. It can't hurt.
来 磨两下豆腐 磨磨不碍事儿
女同性♥爱姿势
Okay, now that no one can see Oleg's nipples,
好了 现在奥列格的奶头遮起来了
let's start.
我们开始吧
As you know, Max and I are part owners of the diner.
你们也知道 我和麦克斯是这家餐厅的合伙人
You been telling us every damn day
你每一天都会告诉我们一遍
like a skinny cuckoo clock.
就像瘦版的布谷报时钟
Which reminds me,
这倒提醒我
I timed my medication to it.
根据你报时 我到该吃药的时间了
Pill me, Earl.
我也"药" 厄尔
What was that?
那是什么你就吃
I don't know.
我不知道啊
Like to keep my body guessing.
我喜欢让我的身体玩猜猜看
So what's this meeting for?
开会到底要干嘛
The baby's almost here
宝宝快出生了
and I still have a bunch of new father stuff to do:
我还有很多新手爸爸该干的事没干呢
build a crib;
造一张婴儿床
get rid of yards of buttbeads.
扔掉总长米的各式肛♥门拉珠
You can build a crib?
你还会造婴儿床啊
Anyway, the big change we're talking about
总而言之 我们讨论的"大改变"
is changing right now.
现在正在换衣服呢
Han?
阿憨
I don't want to!
人家不想穿这个啦
Okay, fine.
好吧好吧
Those shorts look like a cheap hotel,
这短裤看着就像廉价酒店
no ballroom.
没有舞厅["蛋"巢]
I already lost my diner.
我已经失去我的餐厅了
Haven't I been shamed enough?
被羞辱得还不够吗
Thanks for reminding me. Caroline?
多谢提醒 卡洛琳
Now you have.
现在够了
And this is what you get for gambling on ladies' tennis
这就是你的下场 谁让你赌女子网球
and owing us $,.
还欠我们万啊
You look like Bob's "little" boy.
你看起来像鲍勃的"小"儿子
Should we order directly into your mouth?
我们该直接往你嘴里点餐吗
Han, since the diner is now owner operated,
阿憨 现在这家餐厅是合伙人经营制
if we have to wait on tables, so do you.
如果我们得干活 那你也一样
You're gonna cover our shifts because our other business,
我们不在你就得顶替我们 因为我们另一家店
the dessert bar, is opening in two days.
甜品酒吧 还有两天就开业了
Did you say you own a dessert bar?
你刚是不是提到你有一家甜品酒吧
Huh... pill time.
吃药时间又到了
I don't know why I can't catch a break from you two.
真不知道我上辈子欠了你们多少债
I had to put up with Max's heartbreak
麦克斯和洛城男友兰迪分手
over her LA boyfriend Randy for months.
我默默忍受了她好几个月心碎不想干活
It was more indulgent than Beyonce's "Lemonade."
这比碧昂斯的《柠檬特调》还要宽容啊
How dare you? She's a queen.
好大的胆子 她可是女王大人
The name "Randy" is offlimits in this diner, Han.
兰迪这个名字在餐厅里是禁忌 阿憨
Like ambition or fresh milk.
雄心壮志和新鲜牛奶也是
Girls, while you have us trapped here,
姑娘们 你们逼我们出席的同时
what the hell is a dessert bar?
我想问甜品酒吧到底是什么玩意
Is it cake with alcohol in it?
是蛋糕里面有酒
Or alcohol with cake?
还是酒配蛋糕啊
Cause either way, nobody wants to make love
因为无论哪种 没人会在'
after eating a big hunk of pie.
吃完一大块馅饼后 还想做♥爱
Earl, everybody understands the concept.
厄尔 大家都懂这个概念
I don't get the dessert bar thing either.
我也搞不懂这甜品酒吧
Who wants to hear from a human mustard packet?
谁想听人体黄芥末酱包的意见啊
Randy, Randy, Randy. Zing!
兰迪 兰迪 兰迪 咬我啊
Damn, baby got back.
靠 小矮子有辣臀啊
Thanks for the input, but I think I know what I'm doing.
多谢你们的意见 但我知道我在做什么
I went to Wharton.
我可是沃顿毕业的
Wharton.
提到沃顿了
That's my last pill.
该吃最后一片药了
Hey, everybaby!
各位宝宝安安
Yeah, it's my due date.
没错 预产期到了
This baby is taking longer to come out
等这个宝宝出来的时间比
than a Catholic from Indiana.
印第安纳州的天主教徒出柜的时间还要久
该州教徒较为传统保守 甚至可以以宗教信仰为由 拒绝服务同性恋
Sophie, do you feel anything?
苏菲 你有感觉到什么了吗
I mean, besides the vibrating panties I got you?
除了我送给你的震动内♥裤之外的感觉
Oh, is that what that sound is?
原来怪声音是那个啊
I thought a bee got in here.
我还以为店里飞进一只蜜蜂呢
Well, I'll be in my booth
我去我的专座
waiting for my baby.
等待我宝宝的降临
Welcome to the Williamsburg Diner.
欢迎来到威廉斯堡餐厅
I'll be your waiter, Han.
我是您的服务员 阿憨
Who's the new girl?
这个新妞是谁啊
I don't like her.
我不喜欢她
None of these bartenders have dessert bar experience.
这些酒保全都没有甜品酒吧的工作经验
I guess that's because we made it up.
我猜那是因为这种酒吧是我们瞎编的
That one guy got drunk at the M&M's store.
有个家伙在巧克力豆专卖店喝醉过
That's in the ballpark.
能勉强搭上边吧
You just like him 'cause he gave you candy.
你喜欢他是因为他给你糖果了
It did not hurt.
试试又不会死
Hey. I'm here for the bartender job.
你好 我是来应聘酒保工作的
Well, you're not holding your penis,
你手里没有提着你的"鸟"
so you're doing better than the last guy.
这已说明你比上一个好多了
Full disclosure: that guy's still in the running.
完全公开原则 那家伙还在候选名单
Mine would be here, but he gets nervous at interviews.
我也想露鸟 但我的鸟面试时会紧张
He's funny.
他好有趣
He's an actual bartender.
他的工作就是酒保
He's qualified, and he's still not holding his penis.
资质符合 而且还没有露鸟
You're hired.
你被雇佣了
Welcome aboard, Randall.
欢迎加入 兰德尔
I hate that name. People call me "Randy."
我讨厌这个名字 人们都叫我"兰迪"
And we hate that name. Out you go.
我们讨厌这个名字 你可以走了
No, no, no.
不不不
No, no, that's... come on.
别啊 别这样
He's not gonna bother me.
他不会影响到我
He looks nothing like my Randy.
他跟我的兰迪完全不像
My Randy is a
我的兰迪
mountain of a man.
如山一般高大伟岸
But life got in the way.
但生活成了我们的阻碍
He lives in LA and I was starting this dessert bar.
他住在洛杉矶 而我要打理这家甜品酒吧
Yeah, she's not over it.
唉 她仍余情未了
Yeah, and you really pooped the bed with the name thing.
唉 你的名字让到嘴边的鸭子飞了
He could pick me up with one arm
他可以一手拎着我
and carry Chinese food with the other.
一手拎着中餐
Where'd that guy go?
那家伙去哪儿了
He disappeared faster than Adam Lambert.
他比亚当·兰伯特的名气消失得还快
《美国偶像》第八季亚军
Max, we need to avoid any reminders of Randy.
麦克斯 我们得避开任何会让你想到兰迪的事物
I can't go back to that depression you were in.
我不想再次经历你抑郁的那阶段
It was so hard for me.
我太可怜太难熬了
Don't worry.
别担心
I'll be okay and so will we.
我会没事的 我们也会没事的
This is Williamsburg;
这里可是威廉斯堡
you can't spit without hitting a bartender.
随便吐个口水都能打中一个酒保
Or an artisanal pickle maker.
或腌泡菜的人
Why do we live here?
我们为什么要住这里啊
I'm here for the bartender interview.
我是来面试酒保的
Oh, no, you two.
不是吧 居然是你俩
How do we know him?
我们认识他吗
Wait a minute.
等等
Dad?
爸爸
You're the puppet guy that tried to sue us
你是那个想告我们的木偶男
two years and three businesses ago
就在两年前 我们三个生意之前时
by saying we injured you.
你说我们害你受伤了[第季第集]
She broke my puppet.
她弄坏了我的木偶
Wait, we never had sex.
等等 我们没有上过床啊
Did we?
对吧
Do you wiggle a lot?
你是不是老爱扭啊
I do.
是的
But we didn't.
但我们没上过床
Anyway, uh, since I changed psychopharmacologists,
总而言之 我换了精神药物学家后
the puppets aren't talking to me
木偶们跟我说话的次数
as much.
变少了
Here's my resume.
这是我的简历
Please don't call the references.
千万不要打给上面的介绍人
They're all jealous of me.
他们都嫉妒我会说我坏话
Under special skills, you wrote, "Revenge."
特殊技能这里 你填的是《复仇》
Oh, whoops, that was supposed to be under
哎呀 那应该是填在
Favorite TV Shows."
"喜爱的电视剧"那一栏"
But can't we just let bygones be bygones?
都过去了 我们能既往不咎吗
I mean, really, I've done a lot of work on myself.
说真的 我下了很大功夫改变自己
I have found inner peace,
我找到了内心的平和
and I've completely... completely centered myself
我通过一系列...一系列的治疗
through a series of... of therapy sessions
完全... 完全集中自我后...
that became intensely sexual.
从治疗变成了性关系
Yeah, I know. It's on your resume.
我知道 你简历上有写
Him you can call.
你可以打给他
We don't like to work with
我们不喜欢同事是
nemesises.
臭人[仇人]
Nemesi?
丑人
Let's just go with "Creepy people that we hate."
这么说吧 "我们讨厌的怪人"
Fine.
行
You two, with your porcelain skin
你们俩皮肤白♥嫩
and your businesses.
开个店了不起啊
I'll go back to my crappy daytime job,
我回去继续干我那份破工作
but FYI, Cagney and Lacey,
但提醒你们一句 美国警花
nobody knows what the hell a dessert bar is.
没人知道甜点酒吧到底是什么鬼
What is so hard to understand?
有这么难以理解吗
It's signature cocktails
不就是招牌鸡尾酒
paired with dessert confections.
配上甜品糖果吗
Why do all my enemies have to be geniuses?
为什么我的仇家都是天才
He does seem a lot better.
他的确看起来好多了
Max, we open in two days; we need a bartender.
麦克斯 还有两天就开业了 我们需要一个酒保
Look, I will just take care of the drinks
听着 酒水这块就先交给我
till we find the right person not named "Randy."
我们会找到不叫"兰迪"的合适人选
Max, look around. We did it.
麦克斯 看看这里 我们做到了
And it only cost every cent we got
只不过花光了
from your big movie deal.
你电影合同挣来的每一分钱而已
And the weed money you were hiding
还有你藏在"非大♥麻钱"盒子里的
in that box labeled "Not weed money."
用来买大♥麻的每一分钱
I'm gonna go check out the bathroom again.
我再去检查一下厕所
You know you've made it when you have an industrial flush.
拥有能自动冲水的马桶时 就知道自己成功了
The seat is clean. You don't even have to hover.
马桶圈是干净的 你不用撅着屁♥股
Come on!
这么爽
Delivery for Max and Caroline.
麦克斯和卡洛琳的快递到了
What are you wearing?
你穿的是什么呀
And I don't know how this is possible,
我不知道这怎么有可能
but you have a camel toe.
但你居然有骆驼趾
形容女性穿紧身裤子时 在下♥体处形成的类似骆驼脚趾的形状
It's my flower delivery uniform.
这是我的送花制服
I picked up a shift so I could pay you two shrews faster
我多打份工 就可以快点还你俩悍妇钱
and get my diner back.
早点把餐厅弄回来
Now, could you please sign? I left my bicycle unlocked.
麻烦签收一下 我的自行车没锁呢
It says, "Max and Caroline,
上面写着 "麦克斯和卡洛琳
congratulations on your dessert bar, Randy."
祝你们的甜品酒吧开张大吉 兰迪"
These are from Randy.
这花是兰迪送的
Oh, my God. Get these out of here.
天啊 快拿出去
The Upsy Daisies are our most popular item.
雏菊宝宝是我们最受欢迎的花束
Widows get into fist fights over them.
寡妇们可是为了这花大打出手呢
Yes!
爽
Han, get these out of here.
阿憨 快把这花拿走
I can't have her see these. Go.
我不能让她看见这花 快走
I will make a notation that you did not tip.
我会写个批注 说你没给小费
No digit promo code for you.
你休想拿到位数电子优惠码
The mail wasn't there, but that unexplained puddle
没有信件 但走廊那个不明水坑
in the hallway is thriving.
现在越来越大了
I'm afraid they're gonna call it a pool
我好怕他们会称其为"泳池"
and try to raise our rent.
然后以此来提高租金
Good!
很好啊
I'd love to have friends over to my puddle for a change.
我也想有天能换我邀请朋友到自家水坑玩
Our liquor license was supposed to come today.
我们的酒水供应许可证今天应该寄到了呀
We should have gotten mail by now.
现在早应该收到信件了
We also should have left batteries
我们也早该将电池
in the carbon monoxide detector,
放进一氧化碳检测器
but I got tired of all the beeping.
但我受够了那玩意一直响
Do your eyes feel bloodier than usual?
你的眼睛是不是比平时更红啊
Hey, gals!
姑娘们
Yeah, nope. Still not a mother.
是的 没动静 我还没当妈
Oh, I'm so bored.
我好无聊啊
I've Netflix'd, Hulu'd, Amazoned.
看完三家在♥线视频网站的视频了
I'm about to HBO GO out of my mind.
我准备要换第四家狂看了
Sophie, where did you get those Upsy Daisies?
苏菲 这小雏菊哪儿来的
Oh, Han gave them to me.
阿憨给我的
Yeah, and he tried to sell me a timeshare in the Poconos.
他还试图卖给我波克诺山的一套分时度假房
Yeah, but I got to say,
可我不得不说
I was a little intrigued.
我有一点点动心了
Sophie, you shouldn't be down here.
苏菲 你不该下来
There's a probable carbon monoxide leak.
我们这里的煤气很可能泄露了
You should go check out our pool.
你去看看我们的泳池吧
Why did Han give you flowers?
为什么阿憨要送你花
Is he trying to hit that?
他想上你吗
Oh, well, he'd have to reach that first.
那他也得先够得着那里才行啊
No, they were for you guys.
没有啦 这花是送给你们的
Yeah, Caroline didn't want them.
卡洛琳不想要
Yeah, but I'm not above garbage flowers.
可我不介意收别人不要的花
These are from Randy for me.
这花是兰迪送给我的
You!
你居然
Max, I didn't want to tell you about the flowers.
麦克斯 我不想告诉你花的事情
I didn't want to upset you.
因为我不希望你不开心
If you don't want to upset me,
如果你不希望我不开心
then why do you chew salad so loudly?
那你嚼沙拉的时候为什么这么大声
Uh, she's got a point there, Caroline.
她说得很对 卡洛琳
I am not mad.
我 不 生气
You're not?
真的吗
No.
真的
It was really nice of Randy to send flowers
兰迪人真好 还特地送花过来
and maybe I should call him.
或许我该打给他
Bad idea to get in touch with Randy.
跟兰迪联♥系可不是个好主意
Very bad idea, like,
这主意糟透了 就像
jumpsuits on short women.
小矮子穿连体裤
What?
什么
He did a nice thing
他发出了善意
and I just want to thank him.
我只想谢谢他
We'll thank him together.
那我们一起谢他
You know what people like to get nowadays?
你知道现在的人喜欢什么吗
A handwritten note. Let me grab my stationery.
手写便条 让我拿我的信纸
It's a Rite Aid receipt so there's plenty of room.
这是一张收据 有大把地方写字
Dear Randy... You know what?
亲爱的兰迪 算了
Just calling Randy is rude.
打给兰迪太失礼了
Since when do you worry about rude?
你什么时候开始担心失礼这件事了
You interrupt almost every... I want to FaceTime him.
你几乎每次都打断... 我直接跟他视频好了
That's much worse, and you just interrupted me Ag...
那样更糟 你刚又打断我说话...
Hi, Randy. Max!
兰迪 麦克斯
It's so great to hear from you.
很高兴你能找我
Is Caroline not there, or is she standing behind you
卡洛琳不在吗 还是她站在你身后
with her arms folded, looking angry?
双臂交叉 一脸不爽
My arms aren't folded, they're on my hips.
我没有交叉双臂 我叉的是腰
And I'm not angry,
而且我没有不爽
but Max called you without my permission.
但麦克斯没有经过我同意就打给你
Hi, Miss Channing.
你好 钱宁姐
Max has to get off the phone.
麦克斯必须挂电话
You're embarrassing me.
你这样我好丢脸啊
Max, it took you three months
麦克斯 你用了整整三个月
and a palette of Cheetos to get over him.
吃了全部口味的薯片才忘了他
You covered the screen, not the speaker.
你盖住的是屏幕 不是麦克风
You shouldn't be talking to him.
你不该跟他说话
You shouldn't be wearing blue eye shadow.
你也不该画蓝色眼影
You told me it looked nice
是你说好看的
and now I've ruined the receipt and I can't take it back.
现在小票毁了 我不能退货了
Guys, I'm getting whiplash.
两位 我脖子要扭伤啦
You know what? Everyone just calm down.
都不要激动好不好
I'm just saying thank you.
我只是想说声谢谢
Goduh!
搞毛啊
Sophie, is it time?
苏菲 到时间了吗
Are you in labor?
你要生了吗
No.
不
I broke my masturbating underwear.
我自♥慰♥内♥裤坏了
Ah, but you know how that goes.
但你知道怎么回事吧
I do not
我不知道
and I will not act like I might.
我也不会表现得我可能知道
You know, you're a puzzle
你是一个
that I have no interest in solving.
我完全没兴趣解开的迷
Here's your mail.
你的信来了
The mail.
信
Our liquor license.
我们的酒水供应许可证
Yeah.
是啊
You know what,
对了
I think my masturbating underwear is shortcircuiting,
我觉得我的自♥慰♥内♥裤短路了
but... eeh... oh... but it feels pretty good.
但... 触电感觉可是相当好哟
Is not coming because I made a tiny mistake on the forms?
申请没通过 因为我填表时犯了个小错
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
如果这话能让你好过些
nobody knows what a dessert bar is.
我想说 没人知道甜品酒吧是什么鬼
And frankly,
老实说
it just makes people angry.
这点会让人很不爽
Max, I have bad news.
麦克斯 我有个坏消息
Oh, my God... you're naked!
天啊 你怎么没穿衣服
I'm saying thank you to Randy.
我在感谢兰迪呢
Looks like Randy is thanking himself.
貌似兰迪在"感谢"他自己
Oh, hey, sorry about that.
抱歉
That thank you kind of got away from us.
感谢的过程有点失控了
Max, put your pants on, we're going downtown.
麦克斯 把裤子穿上 我们要去市区
That's funny, Randy just told me
真巧 兰迪刚叫我脱掉裤子
to take them off for the same reason.
因为他也要去"湿区"
Last time I saw a line this long,
我上一次看见这么长的队伍[毒品]
it went up my nose.
统统被我吸进鼻子了
And I almost married Katt Williams.
我还嗨到差点嫁给凯特·威廉姆斯
美国黑人喜剧演员
Excuse me?
请问一下
Is there a different line for people
这里有没有另一排队伍
who just made one tiny mistake and it's not her fault
是专门给表上有小错 但不是填写人的错
cause she was just overwhelmed at the time?
是因为当时太累才填错的人排的'
Max, we're gonna die here.
麦克斯 我们要死在这里了
Ugh, finally.
终于解脱了
I'd give out flyers for the dessert bar, but I just saw
我本想在这里发发甜品酒吧的传单 但我刚看见
someone pull an unwrapped cheese stick out of his pocket.
有人从口袋里掏出一根没包装的芝士条
I can't believe you filled out a form wrong.
真不敢相信你填表也会出错
Start a business much?
还创业呢
Uh, in my defense, this is kind of your fault.
在我看来 这算是你的错
Me? How is it my fault?
我 怎么就成了我的错了
I was in a fort made out of pillows most of July.
我七月大部分时间都在枕头乡里
Or was it August?
还是当时已经八月了
I don't know, you can lose track of time in a fort.
我不知道 你在枕头乡会忘记时间流逝
Exactly.
没错
I had to jackass around this whole city
但我不得不满城跑
to get the dessert bar ready while you were
筹备甜品酒吧 而你却在
rolling in the deep, getting over Randy.
悲伤中翻滚 试图忘掉兰迪
So...
所以
hello from the other side.
来自枕头乡外的问候
与前一句皆来自女歌手阿黛尔的歌词
Girl fight.
妹子撕逼
Worldstar.
开撕啦
And now, after all that,
事到如今 你经历了那么多
I catch you going down on Randy's iPhone.
却被我抓包你和兰迪在视频激♥情
I'm warning you right now,
我现在就警告你
I am not bathing you again.
我不会再帮你洗澡了
Look, there is a mathematical formula
听着 有一道数学公式
involved in breakup sex.
存在于分手炮里
What do you know about math?
你懂个屁数学啊
You always leave out six when you count to ten.
你连数到 都会忘了数
Doesn't mean you're stupid.
那不意味着你蠢
A lot of persons do that.
很多人都会这样
Typically, in a breakup,
通常来说 两人分手后
if you live in the same city,
如果你们住在同一个城市
you go to the guy's house to pick up your stuff,
你去男方家里收拾你的东西
and then you do it.
你们会打一炮
That's one time.
这是第一炮
Then you "forget something" and he brings it to your place
然后你"漏拿了东西" 他送到你家
and then you do it.
你们又会打一炮
That's two.
这是第二炮
Then you run into each other at a bar,
然后你们在酒吧相遇
do it in the bathroom.
在厕所里打炮
Three.
第三炮
Then you fake a pregnancy. That's four.
接着你假装怀孕 第四炮
Then he fakes an STD. That's five.
再接着他假装得性病 第五炮
And then you're broken up.
再然后你们就彻底分手了
There's been no math.
根本没有数学
Five is a number.
五是一个数字
Numbers are math. Read a book.
数字就是数学 看看书吧
Yeah. Read a book.
对啊 要多看书
Name a book.
你说个书名来听听
The phone book.
电话本[书]
This line is for municipal licenses only.
这里只办市政许可证
Not driver's licenses, wedding licenses, or whatnot.
驾照 结婚证或其他的 一律不在这里
Municipal licenses.
只办市政许可证
If you don't know what that is, you're in the wrong line.
如果你不知道是什么 那你就是排错队了
How could you not know what line
怎么会有人不知道
you're supposed to be standing in?
就瞎排队呢
Randy, let me call you back from the bathroom.
兰迪 我等下去厕所打给你
I know where it is. I used to work here.
我知道在哪儿 我以前在这工作过
Max!
麦克斯
Hey, Caroline.
卡洛琳
Oh, Max was just thanking me for the flowers again.
麦克斯又在因为花的事感谢我呢
That's why I'm not wearing a shirt.
所以我没有穿上衣
Or pants.
或裤子
Uh, let me call you back, but keep your pants off.
晚点打给你 裤子先别穿上哦
What? I am not counting that as one.
干嘛 这一次我不会算入五次中
Were you really gonna spank it
你真的打算在
in the middle of the municipal building?
政♥府办公楼打他屁♥股吗
Spank it?
打屁♥股
Don't be crass, Caroline.
别这么低俗好吗 卡洛琳
Yes.
是的
Next!
下一个
Ding ding ding!
来了 来了
It's just some clerical error
应该只是笔误之类的
so we should be able to get our license today.
我们应该今天就可以拿到许可证了
Let me handle this.
让我来处理
You know you have a history of
毕竟你也知道你过去有
getting slappy with bureaucrats.
碰到官老爷就犯二的历史
Hi.
您好
We got this in the mail,
我们收到这封信
and there's been some teensy little mistake...
里面貌似有个小小的错误
Well, well, well!
哎哟哟
Him!
这货
I've got this, Moesha.
莫伊莎 放着我来
Why don't you go clean up your little
你何不去清理一下
Lean Cuisine explosion in the microwave?
微波炉里你弄出来的速冻食品残渣呢
Oh, she's a mess.
她可邋遢了
Now, how can I
我能怎么
not help you two?
给两位帮倒忙呢
This is your deadend job?
这就是你说的没出路工作吗
I pictured you working as a drug mule
我还想象你是去当运毒人
or a seat filler on The View.
或脱口秀节目充场面的观众呢
That's a job?
那也叫工作吗
Dude, I just made a mistake on the application.
兄弟 我就只是申请表上填错了
Can't you just give us a break?
能不能放我们一马
Our dessert bar is supposed to open tomorrow night.
我们的甜品酒吧本来应该明晚开幕
Please?
求你了
I gave up a boyfriend for this business,
我为了这生意放弃了我男朋友
and I'm gonna mess up
如果这事黄了
her pretty face if it doesn't work out.
我一定会把她这张美颜划个稀巴烂
Max, thank you.
麦克斯 谢谢你
I was starting to think you didn't think I was that pretty.
我本来还开始觉得你认为我没那么好看呢
If we don't fix this, we're gonna have to delay our opening.
如果我们不搞定这事 我们开幕就得延后了
So please?
求求你了
You know what?
这样吧
Let me talk to my supervisor.
我跟我上司谈谈
His neck's a little rusty,
他的脖子有些僵硬了
but that's a no.
但他摇头了
I would make us a drink but without a liquor license,
我想给咱俩调杯酒 但没有许可证
all I can make is meth.
我唯一能做的只有冰♥毒
This is all my fault.
这全是我的错
No, I was in a funk about Randy
不是 是我因为兰迪变成废人
and you had to do all this stuff on your own.
所以你得自己张罗各种大小事
It's my fault. Okay, good.
是我的错 好吧 太好了
That's what I really thought,
这才是我真实想法
but I just wanted to make sure it was out there.
但我想先确定咱俩都这么想
We have zero luck, Max, zero.
麦克斯 我们毫无运气 屁点没有
I just stopped by to say
我就顺便过来说一句
I'm sorry about your dessert bar.
甜品酒吧的事我也很遗憾
You two are unlucky A, F.
你俩倒霉到"像屎"啊
That's "As Freddie."
是"像屎迪哥"
He's a friend of mine.
他是我的朋友
He's very unlucky.
他就倒霉到不行
Earl,
厄尔
there's no outside liquor.
不能从外面带酒
Cause it just makes us feel worse.
因为这会让我们感觉更糟糕'
This ain't outside liquor. It's from the diner.
这不是外面带的酒 这是餐厅的
Can't you tell by the beef floating in it?
从酒上飘的牛肉碎 你看不出吗
Oh, my God. It's not from outside.
天啊 这不是外面带的酒
It's from the diner.
是从餐厅内部
Max, who owns the diner?
麦克斯 餐厅老板是谁
Me, you, and an Asian squirrel.
我 你 还有一只亚洲松鼠
Max, we don't need a liquor license because...
麦克斯 我们不需要再申请许可证因为...
We already have one.
我们已经有一个了
Oh! I just did more math.
我又做了一道数学题
Still not math!
这也不算数学
I haven't seen women move that fast
我上一次看女人跑这么快
since the Activia recall.
是酸奶出现细菌污染被召回那次
Here it is!
找到了
Oh, my God, Han's middle name is Margaret.
天啊 阿憨的中间名是玛格丽特
Sometimes the universe just gives you a gift.
想不到天上真的会掉馅饼啊
This entitles the owner, operator, operators...
凡持有该证的老板 经营者 经营者们...
That's us!
就是我们
of the Williamsburg Diner
威廉斯堡餐厅的经营者...
to serve alcohol to those persons and over,
有权贩卖酒类给岁以上顾客
reserving the right to not serve those persons
以及不卖酒类商品给
who do not supply valid ID!
不能出示有效证件客人
Max, do you know what this means?
麦克斯 你知道这代表什么意思吗
I am totally carding Han Margaret
我绝对要在憨·玛格丽特
when he comes in our dessert bar,
来甜品酒吧时 检查他证件
which is so opening tomorrow night.
我们酒吧明晚绝对能开幕
Hey, everybaby.
各位宝宝安安
Still preg... achoo!
还怀着...
Are you guys seeing this too?
你们也看到这个了吗
I'm never gonna forget it.
我这辈子都忘不掉了
I think my water broke.
我的羊水好像破了
Oleg!
奥列格
Get out here and bring the mop bucket.
快拿水桶拖把出来
Sophie's in labor.
苏菲要生了
Oh. I'm calling the car right now.
我现在就打电话叫车
It says "Your Lyft driver is already here."
上面写着"你的司机已到"
Did somebody order a car?
有人叫车吗
Look, it's Minnie Driver.
是女演员明妮·德里弗[迷你司机]
Sophie, we're having a baby.
苏菲 我们的孩子要出世啦
I'm scared.
我好怕
She should be scared,
她的确该怕
she's wearing electric underwear.
她穿着通电内♥裤呢