垃圾屋的有钱人
Max, your boyfriend is naked
麦克斯 你的男朋友正裸身
and waving from the dumpster he calls his apartment.
从他称为公寓的垃圾箱家中跟你招手
Make sure it's Deke.
先看清是不是他
Last time you said that, I went over,
上次你也这么说 结果我过去
and it was just a naked meth head in a normal dumpster.
那人只是个在普通垃圾箱里裸体的瘾君子
I mean, we had a blast, but still.
虽然也爽了一晚 但还是要看清楚
Well, at least that meth head bought a bunch of cupcakes.
好歹那瘾君子还买过不少小蛋糕
I mean, he thought they were alive,
虽然他是以为小蛋糕是活物
but he bought them.
但好歹有掏钱买啊
Hey, I'm gonna cut out early.
我要提早闪人了
You're sleeping over again?
你又要去过夜吗
Seriously, Max, sleeping in a dumpster?
不是吧 麦克斯 真又去睡垃圾箱吗
Are you trying to bring SARS back?
你是想让非典卷土重来吗
Well, I did bring it in the first time,
非典也是我第一时间传进美国的
And that is the last time I hook up
那也是我最后一次
with a bat in Thailand.
在泰国跟蝙蝠瞎搞
Hey, Max.
麦克斯
Max is 45 minutes late.
麦克斯迟到45分钟了
And she better not say she have a prostate exam
她最好别再说是去做前列腺检查了
'cause I'm not falling for that again.
这次我不会再上当受骗了[男人才有]
Relax, she's just down the street at Deke's place.
别这样 她就在隔壁迪克家
You know how it is when you first start sleeping with somebody,
你应该懂当你新处一个对象的时候
and you can't keep your hands off each other.
都会爱不释手 整天想腻在一起
Yeah, just take my word for it.
总之你信我说的就行了
I know I couldn't keep my hands off my first love.
我就对我的初恋"爱不释手"
I'm talking, of course, about my penis.
当然 我说的是我的"大雕"
I've had enough!
我受够了
You two girls walk all over me.
有你们俩妞这么踩我的吗
A baby can walk all over you.
连个婴儿都能踩你吧
Hi, everybody.
大家安安
I just heard two hobos getting freaky in the garbage.
我刚听到了俩流浪汉在垃圾箱里瞎搞呢
Sophie, that was Max and Deke.
苏菲 那是麦克斯跟迪克
Oh, I get it.
我懂了
You gotta do crazy things to keep it fresh.
要玩点刺♥激 才能保持新鲜感
You know, I once had sex on a bus,
我曾经试过在巴士上跟人乱搞
and I was driving it.
而且我还是司机哦
Boy, were those kids late to school.
可惜啊 车上的孩子上学还是迟到了
That's it, I am marching over there
够了 我要杀过去那里
and putting my foot down with Max.
跟麦克斯谈判
No one has sex on my clock.
没人能在我的上班钟点乱搞
Well, maybe your clock's not big enough.
可能是因为你的"钟点"不够大
That's it. No more free jell o.
够了 以后你没免♥费果冻吃了
Max!
麦克斯
Max, open up.
麦克斯 开门
I'm very upset.
我现在超火大
More upset than that time
比你上次替我报名
you enrolled me in little league.
参加少年棒球联♥盟还火大
Hey, it was your decision to play the full season.
但是你自己决定要打完整季的啊
Oh, goody, I was hoping for some hecklers at this,
太好了 我最低潮的时候正"想要"有人
my lowest moment.
在旁唧唧歪歪呢
Hey, if the dumpster's rockin',
如果垃圾箱在晃动
don't bother knockin', baby.
敲破门也没人理你
出自歌曲《If the house is rockin'》歌词 "如果屋里正在摇滚[晃动] 就不用费心敲门了"
Hey, man.
你好 小兄弟
Hello, little girl.
你好 女童军
I'll take three boxes of samoas and a thin mints.
我要三盒萨摩亚与一盒薄荷口味饼干
Don't forget my tagalongs.
我也要盒香花巧
They're called peanut butter patties now.
现在那口味是叫"香草花生巧克力"
Why must I be that person?
我为啥要这么讨打
What up, fools?
你们好啊 呆瓜们
Hey, girl.
你好啊 小荡♥妇
Max, you're 48 minutes late for work.
麦克斯 你上班迟到48分钟了
Look, little Debbie,
张君雅小妹妹
We're in here preparing for
我们是在这忙着准备
a big pastry school competition tomorrow.
明天烘焙学校的重要比赛
And having sex.
以及做♥爱
And if you ever interrupt me while I am studying...
如果你胆敢怒犯姐威 打扰姐学习
And having sex.
以及做♥爱
Again, I will dropkick your baby powdered ass
姐就要把你那擦了爽身粉的屁屁
back to the shire with the other hobbits.
给踢回去 跟其他哈比人团聚
I told her.
我♥警告她了
Did you?
有咩
All flowers must be set on top of the cakes
蛋糕花得在我们喊"时间到"前
by the time we call "time."
就统统摆上蛋糕
Everyone, final touches.
大伙们 最后装饰[摸]
That's what I used to say
这句话也是我还在
when I finished my shift at Hooters.
猫头鹰餐厅打工时下班前会说的
猫头鹰餐厅专门请巨♥乳辣妹当店员 制服十分曝露
Hot. You still got that uniform?
性感啊 那制服还有留着吗
Oh, not sure it'd fit me anymore.
不知道还合身不
I used to have really big boobs.
我以前可是有对超巨♥乳
Bebe, how much time is there left?
碧碧 还剩多少时间
For all of us?
我们所有人吗
Oh, oh, gosh, I'd say two months, tops.
天啊 我们最多还剩两个月可以活吧
No, no, for the cake competition.
不是 我是说蛋糕比赛
Oh, 60 seconds.
还剩60秒
Only 60 seconds? Come on!
只剩60秒了 不是吧
I'm sorry, I can't handle this pressure.
抱歉 我承受不了这么大压力
It's only a matter of time
再这么紧张下去
before I start eating my eyelashes again.
我很快又要开始吃自己的眼睫毛了
The winning team will earn a free week of class.
赢了的队伍可以免一周的学费
and also how do you say bragging rights.
而且还有 怎么说呢 可以使劲显摆
Hurry!
快点啊
Move faster, Lindsay Slow hands.
动作快点 琳赛·罗韩[手慢]
Forget about it, big Mary.
放弃吧 大玛丽
These competition is ours.
这比赛我们赢定了
Deke and I are broke. We need this more than you.
迪克跟我都是穷逼 我们比你更需要赢
15 seconds!
倒数15秒
Bonjour, Caroline.
你好啊 卡洛琳
This is a real treat.
见到你真是赏心悦目
Don't do that. You're married.
少来这套 你结婚了
I'm only here in an official capacity.
我来这里纯粹是为了公事
Bebe's in an emotional ball in the hall.
碧碧理智线断了 在走廊里发疯呢
Ten seconds!
倒数10秒
Come on, girl.
加油 妹子
Bring it home, bring it home!
把花放上去 快放上去
I am way too excited about this.
我对这事真是亢奋过头了
Okay, everybody.
好了各位
I see a clear favorite here.
最好的蛋糕花很明显了
But, Caroline, in truth,
但卡洛琳 说实话
if I were to pick the prettiest flower in the room,
如果是要我选这里最漂亮的一朵花
I'd pick you.
我会选你
That is...incredibly obvious
那...不是明摆着的吗
and incredibly accurate.
你的选择十分正确
Oh, come on! Get a stairwell!
克制点 好歹去楼梯间再搞吧
Your timer. Merci.
你的计时表 谢谢
Just tell us who won.
快说谁赢了吧
The winners are, I am very happy to say...
我很高兴宣布 赢家是
Max and Deke.
麦克斯与迪克
You were amazing! I love you.
你刚才太牛了 我爱你
I love you too.
我也爱你
Wait, you do?
等等 真的吗
Do you?
那你说真的吗
Yeah...I do.
没错 我是啊
Yeah, well, I do too,
好吧 我也是
So suck on that.
恭喜你倒大霉啦
Okay, two important things.
好吧 两件重要的事
One, I'm the guy you've been talking to on OkCupid.
一 我就是在百合网上跟你聊的那个人
And two, I need five minutes of girl talk
二 我想跟你有五分钟的姐妹淘聊天时间
and not a minute more
五分钟就好
because I'm worried it'll turn me into a girl.
因为时间多了 我怕我会变成女人
Go. Tell me.
来 说吧
Leave nothing out, leave everything in.
知无不言 言无不尽
I said something today I never thought I'd say.
我今天说了一句我从没想过会说的话
"Thank you"?"
谢谢"吗
I said "I love you" to Deke.
我对迪克说"我爱你"了
He said, "I love you," and I said it back.
是他先说"我爱你" 然后我也说了
Oh, cool. Good for you.
很好 恭喜你
Wait, that's it?
等等 就这样吗
I finally decide to cave and be a girl for you,
我最终决定低下头跟你当闺蜜
and you hang me out to dry?
你就这么把我晾着吗
I've seen movies.
我看过电影好吗
You're supposed to jump around and say,
你应该是要跳起来然后说
"this calls for a Margarita!""
鸡尾酒庆祝时间到啦"
This calls for a Margarita!"
鸡尾酒庆祝时间到啦" too much, too late.
太假也太晚
Your first reaction said everything,
你的第一反应就说明了一切
and your second one was just annoying.
而你的第二反应只是让人恶心
I'm sorry, I just didn't think
对不起嘛 我只是没想到
you were taking him so seriously.
你会对他这么认真
He has no money.
他一毛钱都没有
I mean, the man lives in a dumpster.
这家伙就住在垃圾箱里呢
You are such a snob.
你真势利眼
It doesn't bother you he has to move his house
你不觉得他每到收垃圾的日子
every Tuesday between 10:00 and 2:00?
就得把他的垃圾箱挪走很烦吗
No, I've always wanted to travel.
没 我一生放荡不羁爱旅游
Come on, you can't really be in love with him, right?
你不是吧 你不会真的是爱他吧
I mean, you can't love Deke.
你怎么能爱上迪克
Max, you're in love with that cute mochaccino homeless guy
麦克斯 你爱上那咖啡色皮肤犹太爆炸头
with the jew fro?
无家可归的小伙了吗
He is not homeless.
他才不是无家可归
He lives in a beautifully decorated dumpster.
他住在一个装修精美的垃圾箱里
So homeless?
也就是无家可归
I get it.
我理解你
You know, I used to be engaged
我以前也曾经跟
to a man who lived in the sewers.
一个住在下水道的男人订过婚
Yeah, the heart wants what it wants.
没办法 心之所向 身之所往
Plus he told me he was friends
而且他说他跟
with The Mutant Ninja Turtles,"
忍者龟"们是好友[住下水道]
and they were a huge deal at the time.
当年他们可是风靡全球啊
At the time?
什么当年
If he can introduce me to Donatello, get him back.
如果他能介绍我跟紫乌龟认识 麻烦跟他复合
How did you know you loved this...sewer man?
那你怎么知道你是不是真的爱这个...下水道男
Well, he made me laugh.
他总能让我笑
He was very passionate,
他也热情四射
and I wanted to be with him constantly.
还我无时无刻都想跟他黏在一起
Probably because he got me hooked on heroin.
可能因为他让我染上♥海洛因毒瘾吧
That was a crazy summer.
那一年的夏天真疯狂
See? I feel the same way.
你看 我也有这种感觉
Minus the heroin part, unfortunately.
可惜的是 没有海♥洛♥因这一部分
Can I use your bathroom?
我能用一下你的厕所吗
I have to tinkle, and there's a wasp in mine.
我想嘘嘘 可是我家厕所里有胡蜂
Go ahead, Sophie.
去吧 苏菲
What's that look?
你那是什么眼神
Is the wasp behind me?
胡蜂在我背后吗
I can't believe you.
我真不敢相信
Even after three years of being friends with me,
你都跟我做了3年的朋友了
you still have a thing against poor people.
你心里还是歧视穷人
Max, you love him, I can love him.
麦克斯 你爱他 我也能喜欢他
I just have to get to know him better.
但我需要多了解他一点
Invite me over to the garbage can
邀请我去那垃圾箱里
for a wine and cheese party.
办一个奶酪美酒派对啊
Wait a minute. Wine and cheese party?
等等 奶酪美酒派对吗
Oh, I'm gonna bring my new boy toy.
我要带我的新男宠过去
He's the caesar salad pepperer at the Olive Garden.
他是自助餐店里的凯撒色拉撒胡椒专员
No dates, Sophie.
不能带伴 苏菲
The place is so small,
那里面小到
I once accidentally took it home in my purse.
我有一次不小心就放包里带回家了
This camembert smells like feet,
这卡忙贝尔奶酪一股脚臭味
so you know it's good.
所以肯定是好货
Look at you, Mayor McCheese.
你看你 芝士堡市长
芝士[奶酪]堡市长 麦当劳的故事虚拟人物中一员
So fancy.
真奢华
It's just the usual diner crew, you know.
就是餐厅的熟人而已嘛
We serve imitation imitation crab.
我们餐厅里卖假的假蟹肉呢
Well, I just wanted to class the place up for you.
只是想为你提高一下这里的档次嘛
You know, get some wine, get some cheese, flush.
摆上葡萄酒和奶酪 外加上完厕所冲水
You did not need to do that.
你不用这么大费周章啦
I love that you live here.
我爱你住在这里
And if a dumpster was good enough for me as a baby,
我一生下来就不介意被扔在垃圾箱里
it is still good enough for me as an adult.
所以现在的我也不会介意住这里
Oh, you love that I live here.
你"爱"我住在这里啊
Do you love anything else?
你还有"爱"别的东西吗
Well, I loved the Karate Kid movies
我以前也爱《功夫小子》这部电影啊
《功夫小子》19♥84年经♥典电影 在2010年时翻拍 由威尔·史密斯的儿子与成龙主演
评价一般
until will smith's kid ruined them.
直到后来被威尔史密斯的儿子毁了
Okay, can we please be serious for a minute?
我们能正经说两句吗
Did you just say "I love you" because I said it first?
你说"我也爱你"时 是因为我先说的吗
Look, honestly, yes.
老实说 的确是
But I definitely meant it, I think.
但不只是顺口回答 是真心的吧
Look, I suck at this stuff.
表白我很不在行
This and not laughing when kids fall.
看到小孩跌倒不笑的功力也很差
Just know that if/when I say it again,
但如果有天 或当我再说出口时
I will mean it.
我绝对是真心的
I can totally wait I love you, Max.
我能等 我爱你 麦克斯
Nice try, sneaky.
你这招还真"隐晦"啊
Oh, hi. Come on in.
你来啦 进来吧
And be nice. Remember, you barely have a bed.
别毒舌 你那张床也不是真正的床
Don't worry. I love this area.
别紧张 我好喜欢这一区
I met your neighbor, the mattress.
我见到你邻居了 那张床垫
Oh, that queen?
那"女王"[尺寸]吗
So would you like a cabernet or a shiraz?
要解百纳还是西拉
Shiraz.
稀拉
Oh, that's a real name?
真有葡萄酒叫这个啊
Some interesting pairings here.
这里的搭配挺有意思的
In fact, I'm looking at one as we speak.
其实我眼前这对情侣也是
Please, someone else come right now.
神啊 赶紧让下一位客人来敲门吧
Hi, everyone!
大家好啊
I'm here.
我来啦
Please, someone else come right now.
赶紧让下一位客人来敲门吧
I brought some homemade kimchi bin dae duk.
我带了点自制的泡菜煎饼
Would you like to try it,
你们想试试吗
or should I just throw it right into the garbage?
还是要我直接扔进垃圾箱里
It took me a year to get this kind of smell out of here,
以前这里面也有这臭味 我花了一年才散掉
but thanks, Han.
但还是谢谢了 阿憨
Oh, what a dump.
真像个垃圾堆
I thought of that on the way over.
这双关是我在来的路上想的
All right, let's do this.
大伙开始吧
I'm ready to rage all night, baby.
我准备好要彻夜狂欢啦
Oh, hell no.
靠 不是吧
I am too old for this.
这不适合我这把老骨头
Sophie, watch your head.
苏菲 小心头
You might wanna take your heels off.
你可能得脱下你的高跟鞋
Take my heels off?
脱下我的高跟鞋
Communist Russia couldn't get me to take my heels off.
当年苏联入侵都不能要姐脱下高跟鞋
Hey, Earl, you wanna go get drunk somewhere
厄尔 你想去一个我们想"弯腰"才"弯腰"
we don't have to bend over till we want to?
不用听人指挥的地方买醉吗
Indeed, I do.
正有此意
Not to brag, but I'm the only one
我不是要炫耀 但是我是这里面
who can stand up in here.
唯一能把腰板挺直的人
Cool brag, Han.
的确值得炫耀 阿憨
So, Deke, tell me about yourself.
迪克 跟我说说你吧
Hey, stop Guantanamo bay ing him.
不许采用最高监狱的讯问手段 审问他
Well, I go to pastry school,
我在烘焙学校学习
I live in a dumpster,
我住在垃圾箱里
and I was thrown out of One Direction
我因为长得太帅 被英国男子组合
for being too handsome."
一世代"踢出乐队
That's about it.
就这么多
There must be more to you than that.
肯定不止这么多
I mean, I'm surprised to see
因为在一个垃圾箱派对上
a roquefort cheese paired with a 2001 Syrah
居然会出现洛克福奶酪搭配
法国最著名的奶酪之一 对产地要求严格
from the Rhone region of France at a dumpster party.
法国罗纳河谷的2001年的西拉葡萄酒
法国葡萄酒顶级产区罗纳河谷最好的年份之一
Where'd you learn about wine?
你对葡萄酒的了解是在哪里学的
Well, I wanted to impress you,
我想给你留下好印象
and I keep my adult grape juice game on point.
恰好对成年人的葡萄汁有些了解罢了
So where are you from originally?
你到底来自哪里
Did you grow up in a storage facility or
你是在仓库里长大 还是...
Will you stop?
别问了行吗
He looks nervous like the fat guy at a birthday party
他紧张的样子就像生日派对上的胖子
when he finds out there's a pool.
突然发现大家得下小泳池玩
Coming, coming.
来了 来了
Good. We have the right dumpster.
还好 我们找对垃圾箱了
I brought some wine. Bebe brought cheese.
我带了瓶葡萄酒 碧碧带了奶酪
Kind of.
勉强算是奶酪吧
Hey, guys, thanks for inviting me.
各位 非常感谢你们能邀请我
Happy to be included.
很开心加入你们
All right, another babe.
好的 又来一个妞
Throw your keys in the bowl.
把你的钥匙扔进碗里[选玩伴]
Right now, it's just me and Han, and...
现在里面只有我和阿憨的钥匙
that ain't happening.
你别做梦了
What is Nicolas doing here? Hide me.
尼可拉斯来这里干嘛 快把我藏起来
I think you're gonna run into him.
无论怎样 他都会看见你的
Sorry, I thought you were into him.
抱歉 我以为你喜欢他呢
I'm not into him.
我才不喜欢他
Please, Caroline, relax.
拜托 卡洛琳 别紧张
It's just a party. I'm here as a friend.
这只是个派对 我们只是朋友
Then where is your hand?
那你的手放在哪儿呢
On your beautiful bottom.
放在你美丽的翘臀上
Sorry, it's crowded.
抱歉 这太挤了
It was either there or in the sink.
我的手要么放着上面 要么就放水槽里
Please remove it.
请你拿开你的手
I I did.
拿开了啊
That one's mine, baby.
那是我的手 宝贝
Come on, it's 8:45,
拜托 现在都晚上8点45分了
and nobody's got their tops off.
大家居然还衣冠整齐地站在那里
Somebody's gotta do something.
得有人采取点行动才行
Oh, one time I played Seven Minutes in Heaven.
我曾玩过"天堂7分钟"这个游戏
“天堂7分钟"通常是青少年在派对上玩的游戏 规则是把一男一女关进衣柜 7分钟内做什么事都可以
Well, I got hit by a bus,
就是我被一辆巴士撞了
and I was dead for seven minutes.
然后昏死过去7分钟
Bebe, do you want some wine?
碧碧 你想来点葡萄酒吗
Sure, why not?
好啊
I don't have anything to do tomorrow
反正我明天也没事做
except move to Canada.
除了要搬去加拿大
What?
什么
Yeah, no biggie.
不是什么大事啦
Long story short,
长话短说
They found me.
他们发现了我
Caroline, looks like it's gonna be just
卡洛琳 看来以后办公室
you and me in the office.
就剩咱们俩了
Nicolas, please.
尼可拉斯 别这样
What did I tell you about your hand?
我刚都说手不要乱放
That's me!
那是我的手
I was trying to push my way to the cheese.
我只是想挤过那边去吃奶酪而已
Hey, Bebe gun, if you're ever in Alberta,
碧碧 如果你去了亚伯达省[加拿大]
hit the Fairmont at Banff super fun.
记得去班夫的费尔蒙酒店 超级好玩
I got wasted and cannonballed into the lake there once.
我曾喝醉了 然后冲进那边的湖里
It was frozen. Shattered my pelvis.
当时湖面结冰了 我盆骨都碎了
Good times.
美好的时光啊
Hey, I know that place.
我知道那地方
Fairmont Chateau on Lake Louise?
路易斯湖城堡酒店吧
曾被《福布斯》评为全球景色最美的十大酒店之一
We used to winter there.
我们以前冬天常去那边玩
That's a really exclusive resort.
那可是一个非常豪华的度假酒店
I once saw them tell Barbra Streisand
我有一次看见他们让芭芭拉·史翠珊[著名女星]
to take it to the Holiday Inn.
去住普通的假日酒店
Caroline, you want some of my triple creme?
卡洛琳 你想尝尝我的三重奶酪[精♥液]吗
I don't want any of your creme.
我不想尝你的任何"东西"
You know what, it's getting a little crowded in here.
这里开始越来越挤了
I'm just gonna slip out without anyone noticing.
我要趁人不注意时 偷偷溜走
Oh, excuse me.
让一下
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
借过 借过 借过
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
等下 等下 先别走
So...
那你觉得
Deke what do you think? Do you like him now?
迪克怎么样 你现在喜欢他了吗
Well, before tonight,
在今晚之前
I thought he was the guy who walks around
我以为他是一个在大街上闲晃
singing "When you're sliding into home
还一边高歌"当你回到家
and your shorts are full of foam, diarrhea."
屎全拉裤子里"的腹泻之歌的小屁孩
Now I find out he knows all about cheese
现在我发现他很了解奶酪
and has been to this massively expensive resort,
而且他还去过要价不菲的度假酒店
so I'm even more confused.
这让我更加困惑了
What's confusing?
有什么好困惑的
The foam is diarrhea.
因为腹泻 屎才会拉裤子里啊
Caroline, wait.
卡洛琳 等等
Let me walk with you. No, no, no. I'm good.
我送你回去吧 不必 我自己可以回去
Please, at least take my scarf. It's cold.
那至少戴上我的围巾 现在很冷
No, I'm fine
不用了 我不冷
Are you okay? Here, let me help. No, Nicolas.
你没事吧 我来扶你 不用了 尼可拉斯
I am not going to be the other woman.
我不会当小三的
Despite the fact that I am literally lying in trash,
虽然我现在正躺在垃圾堆里
I am not trashy.
但我不是那种垃圾女人
Caroline, listen.
卡洛琳 听着
Things aren't always what they seem.
事情并不总是像表面看起来那样
Just because that is garbage on the outside
因为它从表面看是个垃圾箱
doesn't mean that it cannot be
并不意味着它里面
a nice apartment on the inside.
不能是一间装修精美的公寓
Just because I'm married on the outside
因为我从表面上看似已婚
doesn't mean I'm married on the inside.
并不意味着我心里面真的有我老婆
Life is complex.
人生很复杂
Your whole thesis is hinged on the fact
你的整个理论都是基于我会认为
that I think that dumpster is nice on the inside,
那个垃圾箱里面装修得还不错
which I don't. Good night.
但我我一点也不这么认为 晚安
Oh, Caroline Nicolas, please don't beg.
卡洛琳 尼可拉斯 别求了
I just Maybe another world, another life.
我是想说 或许下辈子吧
I want You can't leave your wife for me.
我想 你不能为了我而抛弃你的老婆
No, it's just Seriously! You don't have to say it.
不是的 说真的 你什么都不必说了
No, I do.
不 我一定要说
You have a diaper on your back.
你衣服后面粘上纸尿布了
I am aware.
我知道
What are you working on there?
你在那弄什么呢
Is that a family having a picnic at a park?
是一家人在公园里野餐吗
No, it's the letter "G"!
不 这是字母"G"
I haven't written anything by hand since 1996.
从1996年开始 我就没怎么用手写过字
Well, my writing's really good.
我的字可是很牛哦
I forge a lot of checks and prescriptions.
我伪造过很多支票和医药处方
I'm kind of a famous doctor.
我也算是个著名"医生"
You're really saying it.
你真的说出来了
That says, "I love you."
你写的是 "我爱你"
No, it's Khloe Kardashian windsurfing.
不 这是卡戴珊她妹在玩风帆
Yes, Deke, I love you.
没错 迪克 我爱你
Oh, Bebe.
碧碧
I wasn't expecting you today. I thought you moved.
我还以为你今天要走 不会来办公室了
I'm on my way. My car's outside,
我是要走啊 我的车就在外面
but I remembered I left my medication here.
但我想起来我把药落在这里了
Okay, now where's the big one?
好了 大袋的在哪里呢
Well, as long as you're here,
既然你在这
could you show me where the student financial files are?
你能告诉我学生的财务档案放在哪里吗
Sure, they're here in this folder
当然 它们被放在一个
I've labeled "depressing."
名为"压抑"的文件夹
I wanna check Deke's file and see if he's on scholarship.
我想看看迪克是不是靠奖学金念书
He's definitely not on scholarship.
他怎么可能靠奖学金念书
His family's super rich. He's a Bromberg.
他家超级有钱 他是布朗伯格家族的
Wait, Bebe. Bromberg?
等等 碧碧 你是说布朗伯格吗
I thought Deke's last name was just "Berg."
迪克的姓不是"伯格"吗
As in "Ice" Or "Pitts."
像是"冰山"或"皮茨" 就两个字
No, he just goes by Berg for short.
不是 他用"伯格"是为了省事
You know, like me, my full name is Bebebebe.
像我 我的全名是碧碧碧碧
So you're telling me Deke is from the Bromberg family,
所以你是说迪克是布朗伯格家族的
As in the Bromberg elevators
就是那个著名的布朗伯格电梯
the ones that are in every building in the city?
全市每一栋大楼用的电梯都是他们生产的
As in the Bromberg colo rectal center
就是那个在纽约医院有以布朗伯格
at the New York hospital?
命名的肛肠检查中心吗
Yeah.
没错
You know, I once left a purse
我曾在那丢过一个钱包
and 2 feet of my large intestine there.
还切掉过我两英尺的大肠
Nice knowing you. Bye.
很高兴认识你 再见
Ooh, I'll be right back.
我马上回来
If you mess up our batter,
如果你把我们的奶油搞砸
I'll cut your thing off.
我会把你那玩意切下来
Sweet, I could stand to lose 5 pounds.
好啊 少个5磅对我来说没什么关系
I have some exciting news to share.
我有个好消息要跟你分享
Unless it's about an off season shamrock shake,
除非是关于淡季的三叶草奶昔
I don't care.
否则我不感兴趣
Your Deke dumpster Deke
你的迪克 垃圾箱迪克
is actually Deacon Bromberg.
真名叫迪肯·布朗伯格
of the Manhattan Brombergs! He's rich!
是曼哈顿布朗伯格家族的 他是有钱人
What are you talking about? That is crazy.
你在瞎说什么 这太扯了吧
I would know if he were rich.
如果他是有钱人 我会知道
I wouldn't have just told a rich guy I love him.
我绝不会对一个有钱人说我爱他
It's all right here. Isn't this amazing?
资料都在这里 是不是很棒
This is like buying a dress you love
感觉就像你买了一条喜欢的裙子
and finding out it's rich.
结果发现这裙子很有钱
Whoa, why'd you do that?
你干嘛这样做
You're rich. Max, wait.
谁让你是有钱人 麦克斯 别走
You pretended to be poor. Liar.
你还在那装穷 骗子
Ooh, lordy be.
我的老天
This kind of drama's the reason
我就是爱看这样的戏码
why I quit the Ohio state football team.
所以我才退出俄亥俄州立大学足球队
Why are you so upset?
你为什么这么郁闷
Lying about being rich is at most a little white lie.
隐瞒自己是个有钱人是最善意的谎言了
It is literally the whitest lie I have ever heard,
这是我听过最白♥痴的谎言
and it's a huge deal.
这事很严重
I never would have fallen in love with someone who has money.
我从来不会爱上一个有钱人
We are drastically, massively,
我们真是超级非常
monumentally different people.
十分不同的人
Hey, Max, can we talk? Oh, I don't know.
麦克斯 能说句话吗 我不知道
Depends on who I'm talking to.
那要看跟谁说话了
Am I talking to Deke or Deacon Bromberg,
我是跟迪克 还是迪肯·布朗伯格
the elevator king?
电梯大王讲话
Man, if you're this upset about the money,
天啊 如果你因为钱反应就这样
how are you gonna react when you find out
如果你发现我其实是女人的话
I'm really a woman?
那反应会是怎么样
We wouldn't care.
我们不介意的
I never tell anybody I'm rich
在我们互诉爱意之前
until after we say I love you
我从未告诉别人我的家世
because I don't want money to change anything.
因为我不想让钱改变任何东西
Money changes everything!
钱能改变一切
Now excuse me.
恕我失陪
I gotta do my second job,
我要忙我第二份工作的事了
which you wouldn't know anything about.
想必你对这方面完全没有过体验吧
Don't you have an ascot convention to get to?
你不是得去个啥领巾大会之类的吗
Still here.
我还在
Also, two customers just showed up.
你们来了两个客人呢
We don't need their money!
我们才不需要他们的钱
We're big, fat liars pretending to be poor too.
我们也是假装穷人的大骗子
Mm, yeah, my mom invented dogs.
没错 我妈发明了狗
Any time someone buys a dog, we get 10%!
只要有人买狗 就会有一成卖价进我们的口袋
Now I can't believe it.
现在换我不敢相信了
Even after three years with me as a friend,
你都跟我做了3年的朋友了
you still have a thing against rich people.
你心里还是仇视有钱人
I do, because rich people suck.
没错 因为有钱人都是混♥蛋
They think they're better than everyone
他们觉得自己强过所有人
and are generally sucky.
而且通常都是烂人
So he has money, I don't want it.
所以他有钱 姐不想要
Again, just wildly different people.
又一次证明你我完全是两类人
And, Max, just because he's rich on the outside
麦克斯 因为他表面看起来是有钱人
doesn't mean he's not like you on the inside.
不代表他内心里面跟你就不一样啊
Life is complex.
人生很复杂
I don't wanna see you right now!
我现在不想看到你
Hey! I don't wanna see you either.
我也不想看到你
Just toss me something chocolate
给我丢些里面有奶油的
with some cream in the middle.
巧克力口味小蛋糕就行
And speaking of cream in the middle,
说到里面有奶油[精♥液]
your little homeless boyfriend is trying to get your attention.
你的无家可归小男友想吸引你注意呢 我真的真的很爱你
He's not homeless. He's not my boyfriend.
他不是无家可归 他也不是我男朋友
He's rich.
他是有钱人
Rich? And he's single?
有钱人 而且还单身吗
Oh, maybe I will take off my heels.
看来姐还是去"脱下高跟鞋"吧