麦克斯的恋物癖

Oh, I closed out the cupcake register.
我结算了小蛋糕店的收银机
Here's our rent money.
这是挣来的房租钱
Gimme back the envelope though,
钱拿去 信封袋还我
'cause it's also my jewelry box.
那袋子也是我的珠宝首饰盒
I closed out the register.
我也结算了收银机
I have our rent money.
我这也有一份交房租的钱
Max, do you know what this means?
麦克斯 你知道这代表什么吗
Unless I was hit in the head by a piece of farm equipment,
如果我脑子没有被驴踢了
it means we have extra money.
就表示咱们有盈余啦
I wanna do the extra money dance,
我好想来一段盈余庆祝舞
but we don't have one
但我们没有这一套舞
because we've never had extra money!
因为我们的钱从没有过盈余
The only extra money dance I know
我唯一会的挣钱[盈余]舞
involves ping pong balls
需要用到乒乓球
又名"十八招" 常由东南亚女性表演 由下阴"吞入""喷吐"乒乓球的成人表演
and I'm really out of practice.
而我也久没跳 技艺生疏了
Earl, I brought you your favorite.
厄尔 我给你带来了你的最爱
A half black, half Chinese belly dancer?
黑人华人混血肚皮舞♥女吗
A coconut cupcake.
椰子味小蛋糕啦
Look at Caroline over there.
你看卡洛琳
She's flirting harder with him
使出浑身解数跟人调情
than I flirt with heart disease.
比我对抗心脏病还卖力
Stop, stop!
不许 不许说
I'm only on episode two of season one.
人家才看到第一季第二集
I will kill you!
敢说人家打死你
Then... to be continued.
那... 下回分晓吧
Oh! It's gonna be continued.
那就是还有下回咩
Well, then, we will continue this
好呀 那我们下回分晓时
when we continue this.
再来下回分晓吧
If that's your game,
如果你尽全力就这程度
you're gonna be living with me forever, fran.
那估计你这辈子都得跟姐住了 妹子
He's been in my section three nights in a row
他已经连续三晚来我这区
for the turkey club.
点火鸡肉三明治了
I'm calling him "the turkey club cutie".
我叫他"火鸡三明治帅哥"
I'm calling poison control.
听得我想"叫救命"
I think he's getting ready to ask me out.
我看他应该差不多要约我了
He wanted to know if I live around here
他问我是不是住在附近
and what time I get off.
还问我几点下班
If a man's gonna wait for you to get off,
一个愿意等到你下班[高♥潮]的男人
he's a keeper.
绝对要留住啊
So...
那就...
See you next time.
下次见啦
I will see you next time as well.
那我们就下次见啦
Bye.
再见
What's that? I don't know. How would I know?
那是什么 不知道 我哪会知道
Because it came out of your head.
因为是你头上掉下来的啊
I don't have hair extensions, Max.
麦克斯 我才没有去接发
Okay, I'll throw it out.
好吧 那我拿去扔了
No! I'll keep it for this story!
别 下次能当故事说
What story?
什么故事
The story about how we found
某天晚上我们
a blonde hair extension out of nowhere that night.
无缘无故发现一段金色接发的故事
It's hilarious!
超好笑啊
Well, it's already funnier than most of your stories.
是比你大多数故事都好笑了
Oh, look, there's another hilarious story!
你看 又一段"爆笑故事"
Okay, Max, I have a confession to make.
好啦 麦克斯 我得坦白件事
I have hair extensions.
我有做过接发
I also have a confession to make.
我也有件事想坦白
I murdered a man in Rhode island.
我在罗德岛杀过人
I just have a few. It gives me volume.
我就接了几段 让头发有点层次
Too bad it doesn't give you depth.
可惜它不能让你有点深度
Now I have to go and try and reattach these.
我现在得想办法把它们重新接上
These weaves are supposed to last.
这接发不应该这么容易掉啊
This is unbe weave able!
我真不敢"接"信会这样
I found this in the lettuce.
我在生菜里发现了这个
Any sign of a nuva ring in there?
里面有发现阴♥道避孕环吗
'Cause I can't find mine.
因为我的不见了
Caroline's losing her hair, isn't she?
是卡洛琳在掉头发吧
Is she sick?
她是不是生病了
Does she have cancer, the big "C"?
她是不是得了癌症 得了大"C"[癌]
No, little you.
才不是 小东西
She doesn't have the big "C".
她没有"大C"
She barely has the double "A"s.
她连"AA"罩杯都没有
Han found more of your hair.
阿憨发现了你的头发
He knows about the extensions?
他知道我接发的事了吗
No, he thinks you have cancer.
没 他以为你得了癌症
Oh, good! So no one knows.
那就好 没人知道就好
Hola, ladies! Your night just got sexier.
安安 姑娘们 今夜因我而性感啦
Luis, you punched out hours ago.
路易斯 你早就下班了
What are you doing here so late?
你这么晚还来餐厅干嘛
On your way homo?
回基[家]的路上吗
Good one, hooker!
牙尖嘴利呀 小贱♥人
No, I'm between clubs.
我在夜店跑摊
Circus just became a straight club,
马戏夜店现在是直男吧了
And satellite doesn't become a gay club for a half hour.
卫星夜店还得再等半小时 才会变成基吧
So...I'm here to have a cocktail with my bro Oleg.
所以就来跟我兄弟奥列格喝杯鸡尾酒啦
Luis, we told you. Oleg is straight.
路易斯 跟你说过他是直男了
Oh, please! So am I in Alabama.
拜托 我在阿拉巴马州也是直男
阿拉巴马州反对同性恋 学校老师必须教导学生同性恋是违法的
Well, he left already.
他已经走了
But I told him I was gonna stop by.
我都跟他说我会来坐坐了
Typical man. Fear of intimacy.
男人都这样 惧怕亲密感情
Oh, Carolina, while I'm here...
卡洛琳儿 趁我过来
This is yours. I found it during my shift.
顺便把我上班发现的东西还你
Ooh, tips from my tables?
我没拿走的小费吗
More like hair from your head.
是你没收好的头发
I knew this was all too good to be true.
我就知道你那头秀发不可能是真的
You have extensions.
你做了接发
No, I have cancer.
不是 我是得了癌症
No, you have extensions. Good try.
屁咧 你做了接发 少唬我
Later!
回见
Hey. Notice anything different?
看出我有何改变吗
I took some of the extra money and got new hair extensions.
我用小店盈余去弄了新接发
And I also got you a surprise. I put it in your room.
我还给你准备了份礼物 放你房里了
Go look!
去看看
I'm not interested unless it's a potbelly pig
我感兴趣的只有大肚猪
or a potbelly pig in a pilgrim costume,
打扮成早期移民的大肚猪
or a pilgrim in a potbelly pig costume,
或打扮成大肚猪的早期移民
or just pot.
或大♥麻[肚]
Hint, hint. I put it on your bed.
提示 我放在你床上哦
What do you think? Do you love?
觉得如何 爱不爱啊
Okay... why is all this crap on my bed?
为啥这坨屎会在我床上
And what the hell is it?
这他妈是什么玩意啊
That's a bed skirt.
这是床裙啊
My bed doesn't wear skirts. It's a dude!
我的床才不要穿裙子 它是大老爷们
I know, because it pokes me in the back while I'm asleep.
看它在我睡觉时从背后顶我 就知道是爷们
I got you new bedding,
我帮你买了新寝具
and me some cute new flannel jammies.
帮自己买了套新法兰绒睡衣
They have eiffel towers on them.
上面还有埃菲尔铁塔的图案
They were marked down because everybody hates French people.
大家都讨厌法国人 所以这衣服超便宜的
These don't even have stains!
这上面连"污渍"都没有
How am I gonna know which is the top now?
这样我怎么知道哪边是上面
Max, what's the problem?
麦克斯 这有啥不好
You've had those old sheets forever.
你的旧床单都用多久了
You don't even have a spare set.
你连替换的都没有
A spare set of sheets?
替换的床单
Who am I, the queen of England?
你当我谁啊 英国女皇吗
You're so frustrating, I'd pull my hair out...
你真没劲 气得我都想扯头发了
But I'm not sure which of it is mine.
但我怕不小心扯到接发
Look! Look! Are you happy?
你看 这下你高兴了吗
Chestnut's upset. He knows we're fighting.
栗宝都不开心了 他知道我们吵架
Good!
很好
He should know that if he goes out for a bag of chips,
是该让他知道哪天他出门买包薯片
he could come home to find
很可能一回来
you replaced his saddle with a thong.
就发现他的马鞍被换成丁字裤了
I got you a present.
我可是送你礼物呢
Would you be this angry at Santa Claus?
你会气圣诞老人吗
Who's that?
他是谁啊
Max, please.
求你了 麦克斯
Just for a change, try sleeping on something nice.
做点改变 睡在好寝具上面嘛
Fine!
行
But if I wanted to sleep on something nice,
但我要真想睡在好寝具上面
I would have hooked up with that guy
我就跟那个搬回家照顾
who moved home to take care of his sick mother.
生病老母亲的男人走就好了
Watch your back, Chestnut.
小心提防啊 栗宝
Watch your back.
防火防盗防小人
Where are my old sheets, bitch?
你个贱♥人 我的旧寝具呢
Why?
为什么
Why are you calling me a "bitch" at night?
为什么要大半夜骂我贱♥人
I was sleeping in my new jammies.
人家穿着新睡衣睡觉呢
Well, I can't sleep without those sheets.
没我的旧寝具我睡不着
So where are they? I checked all your drawers.
你所有抽屉我都看过了 你藏哪去了
And by the way,
对了
Who hides their vibrator in a Starbucks cup?
谁会把电动棒收星巴克杯子里啊
You already know the answer, so I'm going back to sleep.
明知故问 我继续睡觉了
Why!
为什么呀
Why am I on the floor in my new jammies?
为什么穿着新睡衣的我会在地上
Where are they?
到底放哪去了
I don't have them. I gave them to the poor.
不在我这 我送给穷人了
You took them from the poor!
你从穷人那里偷过去的
And the poor wants them back.
现在穷人想讨回来
Well, it's too late.
已经迟了
I put them in the Salvation Army donation bin.
我放到救世军的慈善捐助箱了
Well, get up. You're going to the army, bitch.
那起来 你得去军中一趟了 贱妇
Whyyyy?
为什么呀
Why are we here in the middle of the night?
为什么我们大半夜得跑来这里
What are we doing?
我们要干嘛
Here it is. Come on, follow me.
就在这了 跟我过来
Max, is this where you kill me?
麦克斯 你要在这杀我吗
'Cause I always knew it was gonna happen,
我一直都知道会有这么一天
I just didn't know when.
但我不知何时会发生
This feels right though.
但这里很有那感觉啊
I should kill you.
我是应该宰了你
Those sheets were really special to me, okay?
那套寝具对我有很特别的意义好吗
Oh, did you lose your virginities on them?
你在上面失去贞操的吗
I don't have sex in beds. That's where I eat.
我不在床上做♥爱 那是我吃饭的地方
Caroline, I have a confession.
卡洛琳 我有件事要坦白
What is it? You have hair extensions.
什么事 你有接发
Okay, I'll tell you, but look away.
好啦 我说 但你不许看我
It's the pillowcase. I've had it since I was a kid.
重点是那个枕套 我小时候就开始用了
It's like soft and nubby
它又软又有触感
and it had this edge that I'd like...rub,
还有边边 我可以摸
and it relaxed me when things were crappy,
在倒霉的日子 也就是每一天
which was all the time.
都能让我放松
I guess I still need that pillowcase to sleep or whatever.
我需要那个枕套才能睡着
Max, that's so sad.
麦克斯 你好可怜哦
Of course it's sad!
当然可怜啊
When has it ever been a happy tale?
我有过欢乐童话故事吗
All right, I need to crawl in here.
好啦 我得爬进去
Max, you're just gonna crawl into that dirty box?
麦克斯 你要爬进这脏箱子啊
We don't know where that bin's been.
我们都不知道这箱子有多脏
By the way,
对了
"dirty box" was my nickname in continuation school."
脏箱子"[脏货]也是我当年在学校的
绰号
I need help.
帮忙一下
Would you rather I step on your back or your head?
你是要我踩你背上 还是踩你的头
My head? Hardly. Not at these prices.
想都别想 这么贵的头会给你踩吗
Come on, gimme ten fingers.
来吧 十根手指伸出来
I already did.
给过了
Behind your back while we were walking here.
来的路上伸过十次中指
No, like this, so I can step into it.
是让你这样 我就能踩着上去
You know, like a finger basket.
就跟个手指篮子一样
Finger basket?
手指篮[装蛋蛋]
Is that another nickname of yours?
那是你的另一个绰号吗
No, but for one summer, it could've been.
不是 但某年夏天本来可以的
Forget this, just let me pull this stuff over.
那算了 来帮忙搬东西让我踩吧
Max, I feel like we're not even acknowledging
麦克斯 我觉得我们一直在突破下限
our low points anymore.
下限都成路人了
Okay, Max, now be very careful.
麦克斯 千万小心
And on the count of...
等我数到...
Wow! You could've been a great gymnast,
你完全能当体操员啊
if you'd had money, coaches, and a breast reduction.
如果你有钱 有教练 做了缩胸手术的话
Are you okay?
你没事吧
Max?
麦克斯
Gonna need some voice contact.
发点声音出来啊
I'm not in here alone.
吾路不孤
What do you mean you're not alone?
你说吾路不孤是个什么意思
I mean, I'm not in here alone.
意思是 里面不只我一个人
Stay calm! I will get you out of there.
别慌 我马上救你出来
No, I won't.
不 我做不到
I'm looking for a lever on the inside.
我在找打开门的把手
Get outta my house!
滚出我家
I just wanna check and see if you're on my pillowcase.
我只是想看看你是不是压在我的枕套上
Max, no! I need my sweet sheets!
别啊 麦克斯 我要我亲爱的寝具
Let it go.
放弃吧
If your sheets are under there, they're no long sweet.
如果被他压在身下了 那也不亲不
爱了
Get outta my house!
滚出我家
Close the door!
关上门
Okay! Okay!
行行行
God, sheez. You'd think we'd slept together.
真是的 咱俩也算睡过了 真无情
What am I gonna do?
这下我得怎么办
I can't sleep without those sheets.
没那套寝具我就睡不着
I'm so angry at you!
我恨死你了
I'd be even angrier if I hadn't found this great bra.
要不是发现这件好奶罩 我会更气
Why are you going to Sophie's if you're trying to sleep?
你想睡觉为啥还要来苏菲家
She's the loudest person we know.
她是我们认识最大嗓门的人了
Even black people at the movies tell Sophie to be quiet.
电影院里爱喧哗的黑人都嫌她吵
I am going to Sophie's to get a sleeping pill.
我来她家是想要个安眠药
Or as she likes to call them, "night candy".
也就是她口中的"晚安糖"
You don't need a pill.
你不需要吃安眠药
Listen, I have a great sleep technique
我有一招很棒的入眠方法
that my sleep coach taught me.
是我的睡眠教练教我的
I have slept with my fair share of coaches,
我也跟一堆教练"睡"过
and if anything, they kept me awake.
他们的唯一用处就是让我不能睡
Max, it's 3:00 A.M.
麦克斯 凌晨三点
Any normal person is sleeping right now.
正常人应该都睡了
Hi, girls.
姑娘们
Just doing a puzzle and listening to Elvis.
我一边听猫王 一边拼拼图呢
You two want a mai tai before you get too ty ty?
趁你们还没累累 先来杯酒酒吧
No, thanks, but speaking of ty ty,
不用了 但说到累累
I was hoping I could snag one of your sleeping pills.
我想问你要一颗安眠药
Oh, sure, I can hook you up.
没问题 我能给你
I never use them.
我从来不用
I only need three hours of sleep at night
我晚上都只需要睡三小时
and six during the day. Come on.
白天再睡个六小时 进来吧
Sophie...
苏菲
Notice anything new?
发现哪里是新的吗
Oh! Yeah!
有啊
You planted more hair on your head.
你头上接了更多头发吗
I heard.
我听说了
Max! You told her?
麦克斯 你居然告诉她
No, it was on CNN.
没 这事都上新闻联播了
They led with Syria,
先报导了叙利亚的新闻
and then did a solid five on your hair.
然后连续报道了五分钟你头发的事
Here we go pills and spices!
来啦 药跟香料
You have a spice rack full of pills?
你有满香料架的药吗
You gotta cook me dinner sometime.
改天下厨做顿晚餐请我吃吧
Let's see.
我看看
Fish oil, penicillin, amoxicillin...
鱼油 盘尼西林 阿莫西林
Skittles.
彩虹糖
Oh, and this is my German pill
这是我的德国神药
in case they release the bombs or I'm ever abandoned in space.
哪天核弹大爆发 还是我被放逐外星时吃
Here you go, Max. Nighty night.
给 麦克斯 睡个好觉
Oh, you know what?
这样吧
What the hell! I'm gonna have one too.
管这么多干嘛 老娘也来一粒
It's a slumber party!
这是睡衣派对
Oh, now you got another rack full of pills.
你又有另一架子[胸部]的药了
Oh, you know what?
算了吧
Don't wait for me, Max. This might be a while.
别等我了 麦克斯 估计得找一会
Max, do you really need to take that?
麦克斯 你真的得靠药物吗
People do weird things on sleeping pills.
吃完安眠药 很多人会做怪事
My friend Candice Travelstead
我一个朋友
buttered a wallet and tried to eat it.
梦游用奶油涂满皮夹 还打算吃下去
Don't worry, I don't have a wallet.
别担心 我没皮夹
Wait a minute! Wait a minute.
等等 等等
Is that the sleeping pill,
你那颗是安眠药
or is that my emergency space pill that kills you?
还是我的紧急自杀太空药
Either way, I'll get some shut eye.
两种都能让我闭眼安眠
Max, no!
麦克斯 不许
You are not gonna die and leave me here alone.
不许你抛下我一人在这世界上
I still don't know how to go east on the "L" Train
在没有监护人带领的情况下 我还没搞懂
without a chaperone.
怎么坐L火号车去东边
Max, it's 3:30 A.M.,
麦克斯 现在是凌晨3点30分
and sleep coach Caroline here
睡眠教练卡洛琳
will have you asleep by 3:45 the latest.
最晚能让你在3点45分安然入睡哦
You're supposed to be taking a hot bath.
你不是应该泡个热水澡吗
I was, but when I put the stopper in,
本来是 但当我把塞子塞进去时
something pushed it back out again.
有东西又把它给顶出来了
Where's that pill?
药片在哪里
I've got it on my person,
我藏在身上呢
and if this doesn't work I'll give it to you.
如果这些都不管用 我就把它给你
Oh, I'll go elbow deep for that pill.
为了药片 整只手伸入你洞内找
And don't think I won't.
我都会做哦
Max, meet your new sheets.
麦克斯 这是你的新寝具
New sheets, meet
新寝具 这是...
Don't make me meet the sheets. I'm not a mental patient.
用不着互相介绍 我又不是神
经病人
If I was, I'd be living in a much nicer place.
如果我是 那住的地方会比这好多了
And all my pillowcases would have edges.
而且我所有的枕套都会有花边
Wow, even your pillowcase had an edge.
哇 你的枕套居然有花边啊
What was it like anyway?
你的枕套到底是什么样的
It was kinda like the end of your new PJs,
就像是你新睡衣下面那样
but not the queerest thing I've ever seen.
但你的睡衣是我见过最基的东西
A candle? What are we, witches?
还点蜡烛 你以为我们是女巫吗
Now, imagine yourself in a relaxed, beautiful place.
现在想象自己处在一个轻松美丽的地方
Breathe in and out.
让呼吸自由进出
In and out.
吸气 呼气
Look, if there's one thing old finger basket know how to do
听着 手指篮姑娘唯一了解的
事情
it's in and out.
那就是"进跟出"
Gimme the pill.
把药片给我
I'm not finished yet.
我还没说完呢
But just so you know,
但先提醒你
that pill has changed colors three times in the last hour.
那颗药片在一个小时里变色了三次了
So it's either deadly, or an Everlasting Gobstopper.
要么会吃死人 要么就是五彩糖球
I am so mad at you. You took my one thing.
我真是被你气死了 你就拿走我唯一一样
That pillowcase was my one special thing.
我生命中有特别意义的东西
In my whole life of people taking things away from me,
我的人生中 人们从我身边拿走了很多东西
that was the one thing no one took,
唯有那个枕套从来没人会拿
and now I'm never gonna sleep again.
而现在我再也睡不着了
And I love sleeping.
我爱睡觉
Dreaming is the closest thing I have to cable TV.
做梦是我离有线电视最接近的时刻了
Enough, Max!
够了 麦克斯
I've been very patient with this weird attachment you have
在你对"一张床单"[屎]过分依
赖的事情上
to this little piece of sheet.
我已经够耐心了
You're a piece of sheet.
你才是"一坨屎"呢
Listen, if I learned anything when I lost everything,
在我失去一切时 我懂得两个道理
It's that, "A," there's no wiggle room
那就是 第一
when it comes to cottage cheese expiration dates,
白干酪的保质期限说到就到了
And "B," You can't get attached to material things.
第二 你不能过于依赖物质事物
Okay, extensions.
得了吧 接发不算吗
What does that mean?
这话什么意思
It means that your material things
意思就是准确来说
are literally attached to your head.
你依赖的事物粘了你满脑袋
Not the same thing at all.
完全不一样好吗
Your dependency on that pillowcase is all in your head,
你满脑子都是你对那个枕套的依赖
you don't need it.
而你却不需要它
Oh. You don't need this.
那你也不需要这个
You owe me $14.
你欠我14块
Run a tab.
先记账吧
I'm not about to sit here and take this abuse
我才不要坐在这里忍受你的侮辱
because you have an unhealthy attachment to a pillowcase.
就因为你对一个枕套有着病态
的依赖心理
Good night, Malibu Barbie.
晚安 马里布芭比
I hope you're not trying to insult me,
希望你不是想要侮辱我
because she's gorgeous!
因为你这话是在赞美我
And for the record,
对了 郑重声明
I do not have an unhealthy attachment to my hair.
我对我的头发才没有什么病态的依赖心理
Oh, really.
是吗
You're a monster!
你个禽兽
I'm sorry, I can't sleep.
对不起 人家睡不着嘛
I'll be fine. Just give me the pill.
只要你把药片给我 我就没事了
No! It's all in your head!
只是你心理作用
Go to sleep!
快去睡觉
I tied the doorknob to my bed with a rope
我用绳子把门把和我的床绑到一起
and locked all the bedroom windows.
然后把卧室所有的窗户都关上了
Are you trying to hurt me or turn me on?
你是想伤害我 还是想让我欲♥火焚身啊
Brace yourself, Earl.
你要做好心理准备 厄尔
When Max gets here, she will not be in a good mood.
麦克斯今天上班的心情不会太好哦
Caroline, if I wanted to work around people in a good mood,
卡洛琳 如果我想跟一群天天好心情的人共事
I'd go work at Google.
我早去谷歌上班了
She hasn't slept since yesterday
她从昨天开始就睡不着
and is furious because I won't give her a sleeping pill.
因为我不愿意给她安眠药 她现在超级火大
smart move.
明智之举
Sleeping pills mess you up.
安眠药只会把人搞得更糟
I took one once, woke up a day later
我曾经吃过一次 结果在一天后醒来
on the roller coaster ride in Coney Island.
发现自己科尼岛的云霄飞车上
I love roller coasters.
我喜欢云霄飞车
Me too, when I'm in a seat.
但得是坐在座位里我才喜欢啊
Oh, hello!
你们好啊
How are you two tonight?
你们俩今晚好吗
Oh, no. She's nice.
天啊 她太友善了
She must've gotten a pill somewhere.
她肯定从哪里搞到安眠药了
No. No pills. Just had some clarity.
不 我没吃药 只是想明白了
Follow me, please. Oh, okay.
请跟我来 好吧
Did you smoke or snort this clarity?
你是"抽"明白了 还是"吸"明白了
Yeah, since you were nice enough to get me new sheets,
既然你这么好 送我新床单
I got you something in return. Here.
我也有东西作为回礼 给
Oh, is this like an apology,
这是表示歉意的同时
thank you kind of thing?
兼表示谢意吗
Now watch.
给我看好了
This is how one graciously accepts a gift.
人接受礼物时就应该这么优雅
What the hell is this?
这是啥玩意啊
A wig?
假发
Either that or you scalped a lesbian from the '80s.
不然就是你剥了80年代拉拉的头皮
Yep, I grabbed her bolo tie
是的 我一把抓住她的波洛领带
and climbed up on her shoulder pads.
然后爬上她的垫肩[当年流行]
You took away my security thing
你夺走让我有安全感的东西
the pillowcase
我的枕套
So now I'm taking away your security thing
所以现在我要夺走让你有安全感的东西
your hair.
你的头发
You can wear that on your head tonight
你今晚可以戴着那玩意
and then tell me again how this is all in my head.
然后告诉我一切都只是心理作用可以克服
Did you have to get the ugliest one they had?
你非得买人家店里最丑的那一顶吗
What do you want for 37 cents?3
毛7的东西 你还想要求什么
Fine! I'll put this roadkill on my head
好吧 我会把这个烂玩意顶头上
Just to prove to you that I am so much more than my hair.
向你证明 我的价值不只是这头秀发
I am my attitude, my spirit, my brain, my bravery.
还有我的态度 心灵 大脑和勇气
Put it on. Max, I'm scared.
戴上它 麦克斯 我好害怕
Go. The bangs go in the back.
快 把刘海拨到后面[从后面搞]
That's my kinda woman.
我就喜欢这种女人
Cobb salad, pick up!
科布沙拉 上菜
Uh...hey, Sophie.
苏菲
Are you here for the mafia widow discount?
你是知道有黑手党寡妇折扣 才穿着这样吗
Earl, I'm incognito.
厄尔 我在保持低调
I'm making a drug drop for Max.
偷偷来给麦克斯送药的
Hey, Max! I got your drugs!
麦克斯 你的药[毒品]来了
Thanks.
谢啦
And I love that you have an outfit
我爱死你永远能找到一套
for everything I ask you to do.
适合我让你干的事的衣服
Where's the blonde narc, Max?
那个金发缉毒特警呢 麦克斯
Oh, my God!
天啊
Did Caroline join a bowling team?
卡洛琳加入保龄球队了吗
Max! No!
麦克斯 不行
Aw, crap!
糟糕
英国老派摇滚歌手 发型类似
Rod Stewart just busted us.
被罗德·斯图尔特逮个正着
Let her have some fun. What's the big deal, square?
让她爽一下吧 有啥大不了的 老古板
The big deal is that Max thinks she needs these pills
因为她觉得自己需要这药的理由
because I threw away her blankie.
是因为我丢了她的小被被
It was a pillowcase, and I need it to sleep.
那是个枕套 有它我才能睡着
She has to rub it.
她得摸着才能睡
In Poland,
在波兰
I had this little thing that I liked to tickle
我也有样小东西
before I went to sleep.
喜欢在睡觉前玩
But my aunt threw it away.
但也被我姨母扔了
What was it?
那是什么
It was my cousin Nora.
我的诺拉表妹
Give me the pills. Nope.
把药给我 不要
And, Max, you were wrong. See?
麦克斯 你是错的 瞧我
I'm not attached to my hair.
我一点都不依赖我的头发
In fact, I am loving my new look.
老实说 我开始爱上我的新发型
Am I a single mom trying to keep it simple?
我是个懒得打扮的单亲母亲
Am I an assistant D.A. in over my head?
或是助理地方检察官呢
Or am I Charlize Theron in the Jon Bon Jovi story?
又或是邦·乔飞故事里的查理兹·塞隆
Maybe, and I'm fine with it.
或许吧 我完全不介意
'cause I am not my hair.
因为我一点也不看重我的头发
Oh, my god, turkey club cutie! Hide me!
天啊 火鸡三明治帅哥 掩护我
On your knees in a bad wig.
戴着难看的假发 双膝跪地
Listen, girl, I've been there.
姑娘 我也有过这样的经历
No, I just don't wanna be seen.
不 我只是不想被人看见
Caroline, Caroline, I love you,
卡洛琳 卡洛琳 我爱你
But I can't hear anymore.
但我听不下去了
That hair was hard enough to look at in the '70s.
这顶假发即使在70年代 也让人不忍直视
Fine! You were right, I was wrong.
好吧 你是对的 我是错的
Now help me get this off. He can't see me like this.
帮我把假发脱下来 我不能让他见我这样
That's right, gimme the pills.
没错 把药给我
Max, no. You don't need them.
麦克斯 不 你不需要
We don't know where they've been.
我们都不知道这药哪来的
Fine!
好吧
I'm going home to try to sleep.
那我回家睡觉
Since this is all your fault, you can finish my shift.
既然这都是你的错 那你来替我上班吧
You're on your own,
你自己上班吧
lady who lived across the street from Al Bundy80
年代肥皂剧那个住在对面街的女人
I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed I can do this.
不得不说 我真佩服我自己也能接发
It's not so hard.
其实没那么难嘛
I don't know what Chanice is always bitching about.
我不懂钱妮丝干嘛老抱怨
I guess that's who she is.
或许她就是个爱抱怨的贱♥人吧
I can't believe I still haven't slept.
真不敢相信我到现在还没睡着
I'm gonna be awake forever.
我这辈子都别想睡觉了
It's gonna be like that movie Awakenings, but not at all.
最后会像那部电影《唤醒》 但我是想睡死过去
电影讲述的是一名医生在偶然的机会通过一种尚未通过临床研究的药物 使得病人走出了几十年的梦境
Max, you can rub me.
麦克斯 你可以摸我
Wow, that wig changed you.
哇 那顶拉拉假发把你掰弯啦
No, here.
不 是这里
Rub the edge on the bottom of my jammie top
摸我睡衣下面的花边
like it's your pillowcase. No.
把它当成是你的枕套 不要
If I rub the bottom of your jammies,
如果我摸你睡衣的下面
that would be my bottom.
那我就会变成无下限
Turkey club cutie didn't ask me out,
火鸡三明治帅哥没有约我出去
probably because my hair was so messed up from the wig.
可能是因为我的头发被假发弄得太乱了
Don't be so hard on yourself.
别对自己那么苛刻
it could've been your personality too.
也有可能是讨厌你性格啊
You really think he only liked you for your hair?
你真的觉得他是因为头发才喜欢你吗
I only like me for my hair.
反正我是
Told you. You're attached to it.
早说了吧 你就是爱它
So attached to it!
我超级爱我的头发
Twirling it, tossing it, flipping it.
用手转着玩 甩着玩 翻着玩
Feeling it on my neck, on my shoulders, on my back.
在我的脖子 肩膀还有后背感觉它
Caroline Channing without the option
没有光滑发髻的卡洛琳·钱宁
of a sleek updo is not Caroline Channing.
就不是卡洛琳·钱宁了
And I'm sorry.
对不起啦
I'm sorry I judged you
很抱歉我因为
for having an attachment to something
你对某物过于依赖而批评你
when I'm no better.
而我也没好到哪去
And I'm sorry I got rid of your sweet sheets.
抱歉我把你亲爱的寝具扔了
Max.
麦克斯
Max?
麦克斯
Night, Max.
晚安 麦克斯
Whyyyy?
为什么啊
Why can't I ever have anything nice?
为什么我就不能拥有点好东西呢