偷学使用咖啡机

Hi, how can I help you?
有何能为您效劳的
And by that, I mean,
我是指
what's the least I can do to help you?
在最不费力的范围内
I'll have the burger with the fries.
我要来一份汉堡加薯条
She'll have it with the salad.
把她的薯条换沙拉
But I want the fries.
可是我想吃薯条
Well, you want them, but you don't need them.
你想吃是一回事 但你不该吃
Fine, the salad.
好吧 那就换成沙拉
I have to pee.
我要去洗手间
Hi, what's your name? David.
你好 你叫什么名字 大卫
David, you should go.
大卫 你该滚了
I'm sorry?
你什么意思
You want her to have salad, she wants you to have hair.
你想她吃沙拉 她想你有头发
Neither one's gonna happen tonight.
今晚这两件事都不会发生
Yeah, it's not gonna work out between you and french fries.
你跟薯条妹不会有好结果的
Oh, maybe it will for a week or a year.
或许能好个一周或一年
Depends if she was molested as a kid.
如果儿时受虐过 则能忍比较久
But one of these days, she's coming after you.
但只要某天爆发了 她肯定跟你玩命
Probably in the dark, probably with a knife.
月黑风高夜 手里提着刀
And she's gonna cut off one or both of your balls.
手起刀落 砍掉你一两颗蛋蛋
And you won't think a side of fries matters
到时你就不会介意她点薯条了
when you have zero balls.
因为你已是没蛋[胆]人
She'll have the fries.
给她上薯条吧
Yes, she will.
那是必须的
Look at us.
你看咱俩
We saved another woman's dignity
守住了一个女人的尊严
and another man's balls.
以及一个男人的蛋蛋
Yeah, we're like Dr. Phil but more qualified.
我们就像是更合格版的菲尔医生
以心理医生菲尔为卖点的热门访谈节目 后来被人发现 他其实已没有行医执照
Well, here I am, the owner, waiting on tables.
瞧我 做老板的还得去伺候客人
Does Barack Obama unclog the white house toilets?
奥巴马会去通白宫马桶吗
What's wrong with this picture?
你不觉得这有什么不妥吗
Well, off the top of my head,
我首先想到的问题就是
I ordered a coffee ten minutes ago,
我十分钟前就点了杯咖啡
and you still haven't gotten it.
你现在还没给我端来
Hey, man, I'm in the weeds here.
别这样 我都要忙[大♥麻]不过来了
Well, if you got weed, cancel the coffee.
如果你有大♥麻 那咖啡就不要了
Uh, ladies, you're late.
姑娘们 你们迟到啦
《锦绣童年》讲述妈妈没空教育天才儿子 所以把他送入特殊教育学校的电影
And Little Man Tate over there is in a mood.
天才"小"宝贝在不高兴呢
Why, is he teething again?
为啥 他又开始长牙了吗
Uh, hello.
你们可"好"
You were supposed to be here ten minutes ago.
你们十分钟前就应该到了
In Korea, your heads would be on sticks
在韩国 你们的头会被砍下
outside the Samsung factory,
插在三星工厂外的棒子上示众
and you would still have to work.
而且你们还是得继续工作呢
There is no coffee prepped for your shift.
你们上班要的咖啡也没有先备好
英国男艾尔顿·约翰的歌曲
F.Y.I., Tiny Dancer,"
小小"女舞者 我告诉你
Prepping coffee is that lazy ass day waiter's job,
没备好咖啡是上白班懒鬼的错
so don't blame us.
你可别赖我们
It's not our fault you hired an incompetent waitstaff.
你请了不中用的服务员不能怪我们啊
Hurry up. You two need to make coffee.
快点 你们俩得去做咖啡
And you need to hire a new day waiter.
你也得去请新的上白班的员工
And maybe while you're getting new things around here,
说到你要给餐厅弄新的人事物
how about a brand new coffeemaker?
买台新的咖啡机如何
One that isn't from an Edward Hopper Painting.
买台没出现在爱德华·霍普画中的新机
美国绘画大师爱德华·霍普 生于1882年 以描绘寂寥的美国当代生活风景闻名
Am I the only one who's been to a museum?
我是唯一去过美术馆的人吗
Uh, excuse me.
放尊重点好吗
I've been to the art section of Bed Bath & Beyond.
姐也是去过寝洗具大卖场艺术摆设区的人
What if I told you I already got you what you want?
如果说 我已经实现了你们的愿望呢
A high end cappuccino machine?
高端卡布奇诺咖啡机吗
Listen, blonde ambition.
听好了 金发野心妹
爱情喜剧电影《美眉的野心》直译就是金发野心
I know you only want me to get one,
我知道你想我买新咖啡机的原因
so you can use it at your cupcake window.
是因为方便你们小蛋糕窗口也能卖咖啡
How dare you?
你怎么能这么说
Unless you're comfortable with that.
但如果你乐意的话那也行啊
No, I meant the new day waiter.
不 我说的是上白班的员工
He's in the kitchen.
他就在厨房里
Go train the new guy.
去训练新人吧
What happened to the guy we told you to fire?
我们叫你炒掉的白班员工去哪了
We loved him.
我们很喜欢他呢
Okay, we'll go train the new guy now.
好 我们现在就去训练新人
But about that coffeemaker,
但新的咖啡机
what if go halfsies with you?
要不我们跟你一人出一半
We can't afford to go halfsies.
我们出不了一半
We can't even go quarter sies
连四分之一都出不起
or eighth sies or whatever's after eighth sies.
八分之一 与八分之一后的也出不起
Sixteenth sies.
十六分之一
Shoot yourselves.
你们都去死吧
Did he say train the new guy or new gay?
他刚说训练新人 还是训练基人
Hi, you must be the new day waiter.
你好 你一定是新的白班服务员
Ah, you must be the late girls
你们一定就是上晚班
who are supposed to train me.
要负责训练我的女孩们
Yes, I'm Luis.
是的 我叫路易斯
Did he say Luis or Louise?
他是说路易斯还是露易丝
I'll be out in a minute.
我马上就好
I have to let this cream dry on my face.
我得等我脸上的面霜[精♥液]干了
Oh, I always wait for the cream to dry.
我向来也都是等它自然干的
It's the polite thing to do.
这样比较礼貌
I'm Max.
我叫麦克斯
Oh, Max is funny.
麦克斯真搞笑
Look at her.
瞧她
Oh, funny to mask the pain.
用搞笑来掩盖悲伤
I see you.
我看穿了你
Oh, and you're both pretty.
你们俩都很漂亮啊
Look at blondie.
看这金发妞
What have you had done?
你整过哪里了
Oh, me?
我吗
Nothing, but thank you.
没整过 谢谢夸奖啊
I'm Caroline.
我叫卡洛琳
Well, nice to meet you, but we won't be friends.
幸会幸会 但我们不会成为朋友
I don't get attached.
我不会人发展情谊
All my life, I've been a waiter, 27 years.
我♥干了一辈子的服务员 大概27年了
I've been a waiter 27 years too,
我也干了27年的服务员
and I'm only 26.
而且我才26岁呢
And I don't get personal,
我不会过问你们的私事
so don't ask me how old I am.
所以也别问我几岁
I am 53.
我53岁了
But my face is 5.
但我的脸蛋看上去只有5岁
You look amazing.
你看起来容光焕发
I've only been waiting tables two years.
我只有两年的服务员经历
My main focus is our cupcake business.
我的主要重心摆在我们的小蛋糕生意
We just opened a walk up window
我们新开了一个外卖窗口...
Honey, honey, I don't need to know your life.
亲 亲 我不用知道你的人生
You don't need to know mine.
你也不用知道我的
Did my father put a gun in his mouth
我爸爸有在我
at my seventh birthday party?
七岁生日派对上饮弹自尽吗
Yes, but I don't bring that to work.
有的 但我也不会上班说
And I'm in love with you.
我已经爱上你了
Don't do that.
别这样
Don't fall in love with me.
别爱上我
You know those gays that don't like women?
你知道那些不爱♥女♥人的基佬吗
I'm one of them.
我就是其中之一
Is that the theme song from Sex and the City?
你的铃♥声是《欲望都市》的主题曲吗
You know it is.
这还用说吗
I'm a Charlotte.
我是夏绿蒂那一型的
So am i!
我也是
There's not a lot of us.
像我们这一型的不多呢
I'm all the dead girls from American Horror Story.
我是《美国恐怖故事》中所有死姑娘那
一型
Well, let's get this train on the tracks.
言归正传 该干正事了
Follow me, Charlotte.
跟我来 夏绿蒂
I'm not giving up on our cappuccino machine.
新咖啡机的事我可不会就此放弃
I'm gonna work Han hard until he gives it to me.
我会使劲给阿憨上"活儿"到他[射]给我为止
Yes, I just heard how that sounded.
不用说 我也听到自己语中的歧义了
Okay, Luis, here's how the tables work.
路易斯 桌子是分成这样的
We got the four tops. We got the two tops.
有上限四人桌 也有上限两人桌
Are you a top? Oh, please.
你也在"上"面吗 废话
No one is pushing this $25,000 face into a pillow.
价值两万五的脸蛋 哪能做"受"被压枕头上
I'm ready to order.
我准备好点餐了
Luis, why don't you take that table?
路易斯 你去搞定那桌吧
It's part of your training, and I don't want to.
这是你的训练 而且我也不想去
Earl, that's the new day waiter.
厄尔 他是上白班的新服务员
He's also the new gay waiter.
他也是新的"基"务员
Oh, I love the gays.
我爱死男同们了
They turned an old crack house in my neighborhood
他们把我家那边一间老吸毒房
into a cheese shop.
装修成了奶酪店
I heard that cheese shop has really good crack.
我听说那家奶酪店卖的毒品很不错呢
What's the soup of the day?
今天的例汤是什么
What does it say on the board?
你没看见板子上怎么写的吗
And you're trained.
你已经出师了
Max, Han said no,
麦克斯 阿憨拒绝了
and we need that cappuccino maker for our shop
我们店里需要一台好咖啡机
if we're ever gonna compete with the Starbucks around the corner
不然我们怎么跟街角的星巴克
or the other corner or the other corner.
以及另一个街角 还有另外个街角的店斗呢
Or the one that's currently being built in my ass.
还有正在我屁♥股上大兴土木的那家
What? It's prime real estate.
干嘛 我那也是黄金地段好吗
Everything else in Williamsburg is taken.
威廉斯堡地区已经没有任何空位了
Caroline, you need a cappuccino machine?
卡洛琳 你想要卡布奇诺咖啡机吗
I can get you one cheap. I know a guy.
我能帮你弄到便宜的 我认识个人
And if you need clean urine or a micro pig,
哪天需要干净尿液样本或迷你猪
I also know that guy.
我也有认识的人
Oh, my God. Who was that?
偶的天啊 他是谁
Oh, that's that's Oleg.
刚才是奥列格
He's the cook.
他是厨子
He is gorgeous.
他真是太正点了
I'm so excited.
我好兴奋
Our new machine will be here any minute.
我们的新机器马上就要到了
Our lives are about to get a lot more cappuccino y.
我们的生活要飘出卡布奇诺香啦
Or should I say a latte more cappuccino y?
或者说是卡布奇诺拿铁香
No, you should not say any of that.
不 这些白♥痴话你就不应该说
And as for that "special price" Oleg said he'd give us?
至于奥列格说要给我们的"特别价"
In all my three ways,
先说好 玩3P
I'm up to bat first, and I don't kiss.
我得先上 以及不许亲吻
During the day, it is hot in herrr.
白天这里面儿可真是热
Thanks for the weather report, Ursher.
谢谢你的天气报告 亚瑟儿小子
亚瑟小子 美国知名R&B流行歌手与演员
Here it is.
货到了
Shut the windows and shut up.
关上窗子 然后闭嘴
Well, this is starting exactly like I imagined.
这开场白跟我想的一模一样啊
Shut it!
快关上
Oleg, where did you get this?
奥列格 你去哪弄来的机器
Shut up!
闭嘴
Are those sirens?
外面是警铃吗
Shut up!
闭嘴
Does it come with instructions?
有使用说明书吗
The instructions are to shut up.
使用说明就是"闭上嘴"
We don't want it if it's stolen.
我们不要偷来的赃物
I still feel guilty about shaking down that redbox
我现在还对不花钱把DVD自动租赁机的光盘
for I don't know how she does it.
给弄出来而愧疚 但我本人绝对不知情
I did not steal it.
这不是我偷的
I knowingly bought it from a man who stole it,
我是在知情的情况下 跟偷它的人买了
and I'm selling it at a profit.
然后再转手卖了获利
It's the Armenian way.
这是亚美尼亚人的方式
You're not Armenian.
你又不是亚美尼亚人
I know, I'm just saying, it's the Armenian way.
我知道 我只是说"这是亚美尼亚人"的方式
It retails for $600,
这零售价是六百块
but I'll give it to you for free
但我愿意免♥费给你们
if you do me a favor.
只要你们帮我做件事
Free?免♥费吗
Okay, I guess Max can do you
好吧 那让麦克斯跟你去
in that closet over there.
旁边的更衣间来一炮吧
What?
干嘛
Now that I see it, I have to have it.
我不能让到嘴的鸭子飞走呀
All right, I've been saving this pill for something.
好吧 养药千日 用在一时
Talk to Sophie.
去探探苏菲的口风
See if she wants to get back together.
看她有没有兴趣跟我复合
But don't tell her I'm interested.
但别告诉她我有这想法
Do it discreetly. Deal.
低调行事 行
And, Oleg, I'm touched and a little surprised.
奥列格 我好感动也有点惊讶啊
I didn't know you knew the word "discreetly"
我不知道你还懂"低调行事"这词
Oh, yeah. I have a word a day calendar near my bed,
我床边有个每日一词日历
next to my big pump jar of pineapple lube.
就在我那一大罐的凤梨味润滑剂旁
For when you're horny and hungry.发♥浪肚饿都能挤一发
Max, why'd you take it?
麦克斯 你干嘛还吃
You don't have to have sex with him.
你又不用跟他来一炮
I know, I'm celebrating.
我知道 我这是在庆祝
Hey, I can't find any of the instructions on here
我在网上找不到我们咖啡机的
for our coffeemaker.
使用说明书啊
In fairness, I haven't been looking.
也不怪它 我压根没找
I got sidetracked by this buzzfeed list
我被网上一个"刺青写错字"合集的
of misspelled tattoos.
帖子给吸引住了
This girl got "You go grill" on her neck.
有个女孩刺脖子上次了"妹子烧烤[行啊]"
She must really like to cook outside.
她一定是很喜欢在外面煮东西
Did you put yourself in a time out?
你罚自己罚站面壁思过吗
No, I'm looking for Sophie.
我在蹲点等苏菲
She's not upstairs.
她不在楼上
Look, this is a long way to go
为了拿免♥费东西
to get something for free.
这代价也太大了
I was happy to walk into Sears
我很乐意去百货公司里
and stuff a cappuccino machine down my pants.
把咖啡机藏到我裤子里偷出来呢
I'm not doing it for the free cappuccino machine.
我不是为了免♥费拿咖啡机才这样
I'm doing it for the money we'll make
我是为了免♥费咖啡机能为我们
from the free cappuccino machine
赚到的钱 才这么大费周章
And maybe to help Oleg and Sophie get back together.
顺便帮奥列格与苏菲复合嘛
You know, it's a page out of Shakespeare, and I'm Puck.
就像莎士比亚书中的故事 我就是帕克
帕克 出自莎士比亚的《仲夏夜之梦》 书中的仙王仙后曾让小精灵帕克为有情人牵线
Puck from The Real world?
《真实世界》里的帕克吗
美国真人秀节目 帕克是在1994年的成员
Am I the only one who's read a book?
我是唯一读过书的人吗
Oh, here she is. I'll do the talking.
她来了 我来负责套话吧
It's kind of in my wheelhouse.
这方面算是我的强项
wheelhouse
有强项或驾驶舱的意思 直译也有房子的意思
You have a wheelhouse,
你有个房子
and we're living in this dump?
我们为啥要住在这垃圾堆里
Morning, Sophie.
早安啊 苏菲
You caught me.
被你抓个正着
I'm doing the walk of shame.
我现在是炮后羞愧地走回家
You know what that means, right?
你们懂意思的吧
I was having sex all night with a stranger.
我昨晚跟一个陌生人"大战"了一宿
I had sex with a guy all night once.
我也跟个男的床战一宿过
At least that's what he said. I fell asleep at 10:00.
反正他是这么说的 我十点就睡着了
Sophie, come in.
苏菲 进来吧
We wanted to ask you something kind of important.
我们想问你一件要紧事
Oh, okay.
好
Well, I'll tell you.
好吧 那我就说了
I don't think you're gonna make it in the cupcake business.
我觉得你的小蛋糕生意不会成功
Not what the psychic in the subway told me,
地铁站的灵媒跟你说的相反
But duly noted.
但我会铭记在心的
Actually, it's more of a personal question.
其实是想问你个更私人的问题
Oh, okay. Well, I personally
行 我个人认为
don't think you're gonna make it in the cupcake business.
你的小蛋糕生意不会成功
No, the question is about Oleg.
这问题跟奥列格有关
Oh, yeah, he agrees with me.
他也同意我这么说呢
God's sakes, just tell her before she tells us
求你了 就直说吧 免得等会
we're gonna wind up in some disgusting apartment,
她开始描述我们以后会躲在某个烂公寓
hiding from our pimp.
躲我们鸨母的未来
Okay, okay, Sophie.
好啦好啦 苏菲
Do you ever think about getting back together with oleg?
你有想过跟奥列格复合吗
Oh, God, no.
天啊 当然没有
I'd rather accidently have sex again with my cousin.
我宁愿再发生次意外跟亲戚做♥爱的惨事呢
I hate when that happens.
我可讨厌碰到这情况了
Why, did
干嘛问
did he ask about me?
他问我的事了吗
Oh, no, no. I was just wondering.
没有啦 我就自己好奇
He never even mentions you.
他从来没提过你
Oh, good.
那就好
'Cause I moved on, baby.
因为姐已经不再留恋他了 宝贝
Oh, no. No, I
惨了 惨了 我...
I left my Spanx on that Staten Island stoop.
我把我的塑身衣忘在斯塔顿岛了
And they're the good ones, you know,
是好的那套呢 你懂吧
with the pee hole in them.
有尿洞的那种
I gotta go grab 'em.
我得去拿回来
All right. Bye bye.
好了 再见
Okay, good. Now we've got the power on,
好了 我们已经把电源插上了
but how do we steam the milk?
但是要怎么蒸牛奶
Maybe it's on this touchpad thing.
也许是要按这触控板
Holy mother of God!
我去你个亲娘七舅老爷
I just steamed my vagina.
我的"小妹妹"被蒸熟了
Max, Caroline, your shift started three minutes ago.
麦克斯 卡洛琳 你们三分钟前就该上班了
Who cares about sidework?
谁还在乎这份烂兼♥职
I probably can't have children.
我可能这辈子都生不了小孩了
What is wrong with her?
她怎么了
She just had her carpet steam cleaned.
她刚用蒸汽清洗了她的"地毯"
You two still haven't figured out this machine?
你们俩还没搞懂怎么用这台机器吗
Move away. I'm Asian and a man.
走开 我是亚洲男人
I'm good with this kind of stuff.
我对这种东西很在行
Well, Han, actually, it's pretty dangerous.
阿憨 算了吧 这玩意挺危险的
Hey, Han's a man, according to recent lore.
你最近没听说吗 人家阿憨是个"男人"
Let him save the day.
让他来拯救世界吧
Okay, let's see. Here's the steam one.
好吧 我看看 这个按钮是蒸汽
And here's the button for ow!
这个按钮是...
My neck!
我的脖子
It burned my neck!
它烫伤了我的脖子
And that was my best feature.
那可是我最迷人的部位了
Luckily you're not taller.
还好你不够高
You would've burned your vagina.
不然你烫伤的就是阴♥道啦
That cappuccino machine might have just
那台卡布奇诺咖啡机刚可能
given me a grande hysterectomy.
给我做了个"大杯"级子宫切除术
Caroline, I know this might not be a good time.
卡洛琳 我知道现在时机可能不好
I heard about your recent clambake.
我有听说你的鲍鱼被烤了
But what did Sophie say?
但我想知道苏菲怎么说
I'm sorry, Oleg. Sophie's moved on.
抱歉 奥列格 苏菲对你已不再留恋
She's seeing other men.
她现在跟其他男人约会
Yeah, but not in your neighborhood.
对 但不是在你的那一区
She's classy.
她很会"做"
She had the decency to do it on a stoop in Staten Island.
她很尊重地跑到斯塔顿岛的一个7小门廊"做"
She went to the island without me?
她居然没叫上我 自己去那个岛
斯塔顿岛是美国纽约湾对面的岛屿
We were going to travel the world together.
我们说好要一起环游世界的
Oleg
奥列格
Oleg, are you crying?
奥列格 你是在哭吗
No, I have a booger situation.
不 我只是鼻屎太多堵得慌
Says the man who cooks the food.
此话出自我们餐厅大厨之口
Hey, what's this area back there?
那里面是什么地方
Uh, it's our closet, why?
那是我们的衣橱 怎么了
I should check it out.
我应该进去看看
I'm always looking for places
我一直在找地方
to have sex with women who are not Sophie.
能让我带不是苏菲的女人去做♥爱
Is Oleg in here?
奥列格在这里吗
I thought I smelled him.
我闻到他的体香了
That delicious mix of man and butter.
男人味和奶油混合在一起的香味
Oleg's in the closet.
奥列格在"柜里"呢
Oh, honey, I could've told you that.
亲爱的 你不说我也知道
Really, luis, Oleg is straight.
路易斯 奥列格真的是直男
Wait till you see what happens
等我下菜单的时候
when I place an order for a bone in rib eye.
要一份"硬骨"肋眼牛排 你就知道了
It's true. He shows us his penis every
真的 他几乎每天露鸟都给我们看
Ah ah ah ah, boundaries, girls, boundaries.
底线啊 姑娘们 底线
So is it a nice one?
那他那只是神雕吗
Well, it did open a door for me once.
他的"雕兄"有次还帮我开门了呢
Hey, Luis, maybe you can help us.
路易斯 或许你能帮我们个忙
Since you're a lifer,
你是个生活家
you have to know how to work this thing.
你肯定知道这咖啡机要怎么操作
No, no, no, no, no, no, I work for a diner.
不 不可能 我是为餐厅工作
I don't work for you.
又不是为你俩工作
Don't bring me into your drama.
别把我牵扯进你们的事里
Oh, I have to get this.
我得接下电话
It's my mother. She's on death watch.
是我妈 她在守灵
But we used to have the same machine
但我在星巴克工作时
When I worked at Starbucks.
用的咖啡机跟这台一样
Mami, como esta su lou gehrig's?
妈咪 你还好吗[西语]
No, I am not working at Starbucks.
不 我才不去星巴克打工
That's not what I was gonna say.
我没想要这么说呀
Just for two hours.
只是去打两小时工而已嘛
We can quit after we learn how to work this damn machine.
等我们学会怎么用之后就可以不干了
Hey, I am not a quitter.
老娘从不说不干就不干
I get fired. That's my wheelhouse.
老娘只能是被炒 这是我的强项
I can't believe we got hired so quickly.
真不敢相信这么快工作就到手了
And I can't believe I'm a medium apron.
我也不敢相信我居然得穿中号的围裙
And I can't believe I'm working
我也不敢相信我在
for a corporate coffee place.
一家连锁咖啡店上班
This might be the lowest point of my life,
这或许是我人生的最低点
and my mom once lost me
我妈有次在赌场后面玩垃圾游戏
in a craps game behind a casino.
把我弄丢 我都没这么低落
Hi, we're here to be trained.
你好 我们是来受训的新员工
I know. That's unfortunate.
我知道 真是太不幸了
My name's Devon.
我叫德文
Well, that's unfortunate.
那才叫不幸呢
Let's get this over with.
咱们赶紧开始吧
I have a lot of other places I need to be.
我还有很多地方得去呢
Like your mom's basement?
比如你住的老妈家地下室吗
Hey, you don't have to give me attitude.
你没必要在这给我甩脸色
I don't have to, but it's my pleasure.
我是没必要 但我爽这样做
Sorry, Devon. It's just that it's hard for her,
抱歉 德文 她可能有点难以接受
'cause your name is Devon.
因为你的名字叫德文
So what are you girls? Writers?
你们俩到底是什么 俩作家吗
Folk duo? Just bitches?
民谣二重唱 还是俩贱♥人
Nailed it, loser.
说对了 废柴
Max, pace yourself.
麦克斯 别咄咄逼人了
We need this job for another hour and 50 minutes.
我们只需再忍1个小时50分钟就好
Okay, but for real, how long do you gotta work here
好吧 说正事 我得在这工作多久
before the health insurance kicks in?
才享有医保待遇
And is there dental?
包括牙医吗
'cause I got a dead tooth doing nothing for me.
因为我里面有一颗没用的烂牙
The insurance kicks in after 30 days.
工作30天之后才享有医保
But it's a PPO, not an HMO.
这是工会提供的 不是廉价的那种医保
HOMO
指同性恋
Oh, we just got an HMO at our other job.
我们另一份工作里已经有一位基佬了
He's a Charlotte.
他是夏绿蒂那型的
Okay, here we go.
好吧 开始了
Look, this is the machine we use for everything.
我们做什么咖啡都要用到这台机子
It's incredibly easy to work
操作非常容易
unless you're stupid,
除非你是笨蛋
In which case, tell me now.
如果是的话 请趁早告诉我
Devon, we're not your mean stepdad.
德文 我们不是你恶毒的继父
Just show us how to use the machine.
快教我们如何操作这台机子吧
Listen up.
听好了
Unlatch the portafilter from the group head.
先从热水流出来的口把过滤斗拿出来
Press here for an ounce of grounds.
按这里弄出一盎司的咖啡粉
Tamp it in, pack it down, turn it on.
再塞进去 压实 打开按钮
I didn't get that, did you?
我没听明白 你呢
Honestly, all I heard was group head.
老实说 我只听见流水的头
So you tamp, pack, turn the knob,
反正就是塞进去 压实 扭把手
Wait 3, blast for 30, then you pour the shot.
等3秒 水烧开需30秒 然后把咖啡倒出来
Place the steam wand halfway in the pitcher
等牛奶热到103度后 把蒸汽棒倾斜45度角
at a 45 degree angle until the milk is 103 degrees.
放进奶缸的一半左右 制作奶泡
So what you're saying is it's easier to make meth?
你是想说做制作冰♥毒比制作咖啡简单多了吗
Syrups, powders, whipped cream is right here.
糖浆 咖啡粉 生奶油都在这里
You ever work with one of these?
你们俩有用过这玩意吗
I think I can handle it. I went to Wharton.
我觉得应该不难 我是华顿商学院毕业的
Well, I went to Harvard. And I went to juvie.
我还是哈佛毕业的呢 我是少教所毕业的
And we're all here wearing an apron.
而结果我们仨都穿着围裙在这里打工
A grande double cap, non fat.
大杯双份无脂卡布奇诺
Grande double cap, non fat.
大杯双份 无脂卡布奇诺
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
喵喵 喵喵喵
A venti triple cap, no whip.
超大杯三份卡布奇诺 不加鲜奶油
Venti triple cap, no whip.
超大杯三份卡布奇诺 不加鲜奶油
Meow, meow, shmeow, meow.
喵喵 喵喵喵
Grande double soy latte.
大杯双份豆奶拿铁
Grande double soy latte.
大杯双份豆奶拿铁
Got it, Max? Nope.
收到了吗 麦克斯 没有
Where's those drinks, Max?
咖啡好了吗 麦克斯
Working on it, getting close.
正在做 快好了
And I finished all over myself.
结果全"喷"到自己身上了
That's so me.
果然是我的风格
Come on, Max, it can't be that hard.
拜托 麦克斯 没这么难吧
You two, switch.
你们俩 换一换
I gotta put out more napkins.
我得多拿点纸巾出去
That Women's Breakup Support Group is here,
那个女人分手互助协会来了
And they tap us out.
她们会用光咱们的纸巾
Think they're crying now?
你以为她们现在就在哭吗
Just wait till we run out of cake pops.
等没了蛋糕棒棒糖 你再听听
I'll have a tall cap, triple shot half caf.
我要中杯卡布奇诺 三份浓缩 半低咖♥啡♥因
small scrap, nipple slap, half half.
小渣渣 打奶头 半半
That's not what I said.
这不是我的原话
Tall cap triple shot half caf?
中杯卡布奇诺 三份浓缩 半低咖♥啡♥因吗
Girl, you're good at this.
姑娘 你还真行
You should work at Starbucks.
你真适合在星巴克工作
I am good. I think I'm getting the hang of this.
我是很厉害 我觉得我会操作这台机子了
Now I just have to
现在我得先
Holy mother of ouch!
我擦咧 疼死老娘了
This thing hates women so much,
这台咖啡机一定是仇视女性
因为德州通过了一系列歧视女人的法案
We should call it Texas.
我们应该管它叫"德州"
Or Ohio.
或是俄亥俄州
俄亥俄州有不允许怀孕20周以上妇女堕胎的法令
Or, to be honest, most of America.
或者老实说 美国大部分地区都这样
I'll have a tall drip, extra hot.
我要一杯热腾腾的中杯滴滤咖啡
Uh, what's your name?
请问你您贵姓
Gregg, with thres "G"s.
格雷格 木字旁的格
Yeah, you're gonna be this picture of a penis.
好的 我就画一个鸡鸡的图案好了
That's rude.
你也太没礼貌了
Now it has a hat on it.
现在我再送它顶帽子
It's saying, "Good day."
它在跟你说"你好"
Do you want me to talk to your manager?
你想让我去找你们的经理谈谈吗
Yeah, in about 20 minutes,
没错 再等20分钟
after she learns this machine.
等她学会怎么用这台咖啡机再去
Hi.
你好
I'll take a non fat venti drip for Vera
维拉要一杯超大杯无脂的滴滤咖啡
And a tall latte for Fran
弗兰要一杯中杯的拿铁
And a gingerbread latte with 11 splendas.
再来一杯加11包代糖的姜汁鲜奶拿铁
Can you two explain what this is?
你们俩能给我解释一下这个吗
I'd say it's pretty obvious.
这不是显而易见的吗
That's a penis wearing a hat.
那是一个带着帽子的鸡鸡
Why?
为什么
Because it's bald and a little insecure.
因为它秃头没安全感啊
Dudes, you're, like, fired.
好吧 你们俩被解雇了
Come on, Devon.
拜托 德文
We just need 20 more minutes to learn that machine.
再给我20分钟学习怎么用这台机子
Please? No.
拜托了 不行
Return your aprons and caps.
把你们的围裙和帽子摘下
And do not even think
还有不要想着
about putting sandwiches in your pockets.
把三明治装到口袋里带走
What?
太没天理了
A girl can't get a morning bun?
辛苦"做"了那么久 连个面包都不给拿吗
No and no.
不行 绝对不行
And take this "crappuccino" you made with you.
还有把你们做的这杯"屎不奇诺"带走
Oh, yeah, that is not quite right.
的确 味道不太对
And it hit my dead tooth.
我的烂牙开始疼了
How you doing with that milk?
你牛奶弄得怎么样
Great.
很好
著名的饶舌歌手
Mine's more whipped than Nick Cannon.
我打出来的奶泡比用尼克·卡农的舌头还厉害
Hola, chicas.
你们好呀 姑娘们
How's it going with your new machine?
你们的新咖啡机用得怎么样了
Not that I care or am invested at all.
就问问 完全没有关心成分
Oh, I think mine's coming.
我觉得我的要做好了
I think mine's coming.
要来了
You don't even know if you're coming or not?
自己来不来[高♥潮] 你都不知道啊
That's so you.
果然是你的风格
Have you seen Oleg?
你们有见到奥列格吗
No, not since he came out of the closet.
从他出[了衣]柜之后 就再也没见过他了
Why are you looking for him?
你找他干嘛
How is this your business?
关你什么事
Because you said, "Have you seen Oleg?"
因为你问我 "有没有见过奥列格"
You got me.
对哦
Look at you.
瞧瞧你
So much spice, so much pain.
嘴巴那么毒 内心一定有很多苦吧
You got me.
被你发现了
Hey, everybody.
各位好呀
Hola, Oleg, and Oleg's sister?
你好呀 奥列格 这位是你妹吗
This is Sasha.
她是萨莎
We met last night
我们昨晚认识的
and a few times this morning.
早上又重新"认识"了几次
But do me a favor.
帮我个忙
Don't tell Sophie about this?
不要告诉苏菲吗
No, do tell her.
不 尽管告诉她
I've moved on.
老子也看开了
I filled that hole she left.
她留下的那个"洞" 我已经填满了
Come on,
走吧
let's get you back to your uncle's house
在你叔叔没醒之前
before he wakes up.
赶紧送你回去
Oh, it happens to a lot of gays.
很多基佬都会这样
They come out, they freak out,
一旦出柜 他们就会恐慌
they go back in.
然后又躲进去
But I see him.
但我看到了他的心
And I'll be here until he sees me.
我会一直在这里等着 等到他看见我的心
Hola, mami.
你好呀 妈咪
Charlotte's headed for a fall.
夏绿蒂注定是飞蛾扑火啊
I did it. I made a perfect cappuccino.
我成功了 我做了一杯完美的卡布奇诺
75% of my body is burned, but I did it.
虽然我全身有75%被烫伤 但我成功了
So how is it?
味道如何
We are so putting the small scrap,
我们一定要把这小渣渣
nipple slap, half half on the menu.
打奶头 半半咖啡加入餐单