对你而言我是特别的吗？

And, time.
停止计时
37 minutes,
37分钟
we got from the apartment to the subway,
从家里出发 到坐上地铁
to the pastery school in record time.
最后到达学校 又刷新记录了
I mean, I'm not wearing a bra,
虽然我来不及穿胸罩
and my thong might be on backwards.
而且丁字裤好像也前后穿反了
There is no wrong way to wear a thong,
丁字裤怎么会穿反呢
as long as it's uncomfortable.
只要不舒服就对了
And with you, the bra is just for decoration.
而且你穿胸罩也只是摆设而已
I have to wear one because you get a ticket
而我是必须得穿
for not put the kids in a car seat."
孩子"不放安全座椅上 是要吃罚单的
See you in class guys, I gotta say good bye to my wife.
教室见 我得先跟我老婆道别
You think I was gonna kiss you?
你真以为我要跟你吻别吗
Yes.
对啊
I'm the wife, you are the husband
我是你老婆 你是我那位
who I caught wearing my cloth one day,
某天被我发现你有异装癖
but I don't say anything about it.
但我却没戳穿的老公
Morning, guys.
早安啊 二位
Oh, hi, Bebe.
早安 碧碧
Surprised to see me, right?
见到我很惊讶吧
Everyone always thinks I'm not gonna make it through the night,
大家总以为我会在夜半时分自杀
but here I am, even surprised myself.
但我还活着 连我自己都惊讶
What's it like working in an office
跟一个随时会崩溃的人
with someone who's about to snap like a breadstick?
在同一间办公室工作是什么感觉呢
Not as much fun as you'd think.
绝对没想象中这么有趣
But Bebe's sweet, and working here
但碧碧人很好 而且在这工作
is putting you through pastry school.
主要是为了替你挣学费
Okay, bye. Bye.
好啦 再见 再见
I want a divorce. I already filed.
我要离♥婚 早去申请了
Hey, wife, I need $5
老婆 我要五块钱
to pay for a spatula I broke yesterday.
赔昨天弄坏的工具
I was having a Gordon Ramsay moment.
我昨天突然戈登·拉姆齐上身了
戈登·拉姆齐 英国知名厨师与电视名人 脾气火爆 时常骂人
I'd have sex with him, by the way.
有机会我不介意跟他睡哦
Why? He'd just be yelling at you
为啥 他肯定也是会吼你
and telling you you're doing it wrong.
然后说你"做"错了
Yeah, sex.
做♥爱不都这样吗
Take it. It's in my purse.
拿吧 钱在我包里
Yo, Bebe, you got any extra pills you're not taking?
碧碧 你有偷偷不吃的药吗
No, I'm taking them all.
没有 我全都有吃
Oh, my God, no.
老天爷 别啊
What? I just wanted one. Or two.
干嘛 我也就想要个一颗 两颗
Just to take the edge off.
就想减减压
I have a whipped cream final at 3:00.
三点我有一场生奶油考试
No. In the obituaries.
是报纸里的讣告
I know this person.
我认识这个人
"Antonia Florentino, 80,"
安东尼娅·佛罗伦蒂诺 享年八十
Died peacefully in her sleep."
在睡梦中安详过世"
That's a suicide, right?
明显是自杀嘛 对吧
She was my nanny.
她是我的保姆
You still have a nanny?
你现在还有保姆啊
Lucky.
真幸福
She took care of me most of my childhood.
我小时候大多数时间都是她带大的
I loved her so much.
我好爱她
So sorry.
节哀
That's kind of how I felt
我对我的老邻居卡拉
about my old neighbor, Carla.
也有这种感觉
I mean, she didn't take care of me,
虽然她没有养育我
but when I was a kid, she used to let me
但在我小的时候 她都允许我
drink out of her hose.
喝她家花园水管的水
The last time I saw Antonia, she was driving me
我最后一次见安东尼娅 是她载我
and a sloppy Nelly Furtado to the Teen Choice Awards.
和邋遢鬼妮莉·费塔朵一起去参加青少年选择奖
妮莉·费塔朵加拿大女歌手 曾赢得过青少年选择奖
Oh, are we allowed to cry at work now?
现在可以在办公室里哭了吗
'cause I only do it in my car.
我一般只在车里哭
Max, you know what I just realized?
麦克斯 你知道我意识到什么吗
This is the first time I've been here since my nanny died.
这是我保姆死后 我第一次走进这家餐厅
You just said that at Chipotle.
这话你已经在墨西哥快餐店说过了
And then you said it again ten minutes later,
然后十分钟后 你又说了一遍
also at chipotle.
也是在那家快餐店
Show some sensitivity.
有点同情心好吗
I was crying because my nanny died.
我当时哭是因为我保姆死了
And also because our grief brunch was at Chipotle.
也因为我们悼念的早午餐是在一家快餐店
Caroline, your nanny passed?
卡洛琳 你的保姆过世啦
My sympathies, sweetheart. That's a shame.
我深表同情 宝贝 太遗憾了
But there is nothing better than a black funeral.
但没有什么比黑人葬礼更棒的了
I'm still hung over from my grandpa's in '84.
我19♥84年时参加了我爷爷的葬礼 至今宿醉未醒
Earl, my nanny was white.
厄尔 我的保姆是白人
Your nanny was white?
你的保姆居然是白人
Child, you were rich.
小姑娘 你的确是富二代啊
Have you seen Han?
你看见阿憨了吗
The funeral's in Philadelphia tomorrow,
葬礼明天在费城举行
and I need the day off.
我得跟他请一天假
Well, I think I saw him earlier.
我之前好像看见他了
But then again, it might have been a cat.
但话说回来 那也有可能是一只猫
Hey, we both need the day off.
我们俩都需要请一天假
I'm going with you for moral support/
我要陪你去 无论是出于精神支持
my first cheesesteak/
还是为了吃第一个费城牛肉三明治
I want to ride the liberty bell like a wrecking ball.
或我想使劲甩独立钟里面的那个大球
I just read the craziest article in this Popular Science
我刚在《科技新时代》看到一篇超级疯狂的文章
about White Dwarfs, black holes, and Uranus.
是关于"白矮"星 黑"洞"和天王星[你屁♥眼]
Oh, no. Let me start over.
不对 让我重新说一遍
Han, we need tomorrow off. My nanny died.
阿憨 我们明天要请假 我保姆过世了
She was like a mother to me.
她就像是我的母亲
But she was not your mother.
但她不是你的母亲
And diner rules clearly state
餐厅有明确的规定
you can only take off for the death of a family member.
必须是自己家人的葬礼才能请假
Well, the rules also say no drinking on the job,
餐厅还规定不许在上班时候喝酒呢
but...
但现在
Okay, yes, you can go.
好吧 你可以去
Because in my culture,
因为在我们国家
it's important to honor the elderly.
对长辈是十分尊敬的
I shared a bunk bed with a
97 year old我跟一位97的老人同睡上下铺
till I was 22.
一直睡到我22岁呢
Were you on the top or bottom?
敢问你是在"上面"还是"下面"
Oh, I was always the bottom.
我向来是在下面啊
Oh, no. Let me start over.
不对 让我重新说一遍
Hey, Caroline.
卡洛琳
I got your nanny death text.
我收到你保姆过世的短信了
So I'm wearing black out of respect.
所以我出于尊重 穿上了一身黑
And also, I got my period.
而且 刚好我的月事也来了
Thanks, Sophie. That's lovely.
谢谢 苏菲 太有爱了
It is? Which part?
是吗 哪部分
You know, back in Poland when my nanny died,
在波兰 我保姆死的时候
I was so heartbroken, I could barely eat her.
我心都碎了 难过得都吃不下她了
You ate your dead nanny?
你居然吃你死掉的保姆
Well, a goat's a goat.
山羊终究是动物
It doesn't matter what you name it.
称呼改变不了本质
It's still good goat meat.
它仍是美味的羊肉
All right, I'll be in my booth.
好了 我去我卡座里坐着了
I'm going to order a tuna melt and three Midol, please.
一份金枪鱼三明治和三颗痛经药 谢谢
Wait, how are we gonna get there?
等等 我们要怎么去费城啊
Oh, Bebe said she had a car, we can just ask her.
碧碧说她有车 我们可以问问她
I don't want to get in a car with her.
我不想跟她坐同一辆车
I don't even want to get in a conversation with her.
我连跟她说话都不想
I can drive you.
我可以载你们去
We just have to stop at my sister's in Bucks County,
但我们得先去我巴克斯县的姐姐家
pick up an unmarked package,
拿一个没有任何标记的包裹
and swing by Connecticut to drop it off.
然后再送到康乃迪克州
Oleg, is there anything illegal about this delivery?
奥列格 这个包裹里有违法的东西吗
No, it's just some shoes...
没有 只是几双鞋
stuffed with cocaine.
里面塞满可卡因而已
Also the shoes are made of hashish.
对了 鞋子是用印度大麻做的哦
I'll call Bebe.
我还是打给碧碧好了
Okay, but I'm sitting in the back
好吧 但我要坐后座
'cause I don't want the crazy to get on me.
因为我不想沾染到她的疯气
Bebe, I can't thank you enough
碧碧 你送我们去葬礼
for driving us to the funeral.
真是太感谢你了
We're only going 20. You can go faster if you want.
现在车速才20迈 其实你可以开快点的
Yeah, we just got passed by a tree.
是啊 刚有一棵树超过了我们
And I'm especially thrilled your nervous cocker spaniel
你那只爱放屁和神经紧张的可卡犬
with gas and hot spots got to join us.
也跟着来 真让我尤为振奋
Okay, now you're going 100.
够了 你现在都开到100迈了
We can go slower if you want.
其实你可以开慢点的
Sorry. Extremes that's my thing.
抱歉 我的专长是做事极端
One time I moved to tokyo for a day.
有一次我搬家到东京住了一天
Max, it just hit me again. I know.
麦克斯 又来了 我知道
It's like she feeds him broccoli.
貌似她给那只狗吃了西兰花
No.
不是啦
That Antonia is really dead.
是我又想到安东尼娅真的去世了
Well, the good news is, according to Yelp,
好消息是 根据点评网
she's dead about two blocks
她葬礼距离最出名的那家
From the famous philly cheesesteak place.
费城牛肉奶酪三明治只有两个街区
Max, show some respect.
麦克斯 放尊重点行吗
Well, I didn't know her.
我又不认识她
In fact, I only know her as the lady who brought me
老实说 我只当她是帮我和牛肉三明治
and cheesesteaks together.
牵红线的媒人
Even though we've never met, it'll mean so much
即使我们从未见过面 但对于安东尼娅
的家人来说 to Antonia's family that I came out of respect.
我的出席对他们来说意义重大
It'll mean so much to my therapist
对我的心理医生来说也意义重大
that I left my safe zone
因为我离开我的安全区
and only brought one of the dogs.
还只带了一条狗
Max, do you think in addition to my eulogy,
麦克斯 你觉得除了我的悼词之外
I should read something from my childhood journal?
我还应该念几段我儿时的日记吗
I don't, but I think you're gonna do it anyway.
不应该 但我觉得你还是会执意念
"Christmas morning, 1
997."1997年 圣诞节早上
Antonia woke me up with a cup of hot cocoa
安东尼娅用一杯热可可和一根我最爱的
and my favorite peppermint stick,
薄荷棒棒糖叫醒我
and then we opened presents."
然后我们开始拆礼物"
Christmas morning, 1
997.1997年 圣诞节早上
I threw cold water on my mother's face.
我冲我妈脸上泼了一杯冰水
New year's day still no movement.
直到元旦那天 她人还是没反应
This is the only picture I still have of us.
这是我手上唯一一张我们的合影
It was our first Halloween together.
那是我们一起过的第一个万圣节
I was four.
我当时四岁
Look at that cute little baby chick costume she made me.
瞧她给我做的那身可爱的小鸡装
束
Peep, peep.
唧唧 唧唧
Aw, so cute.
真可爱
Car.
看车
I never had a Halloween costume.
我从来没穿过万圣节服装
I used to put my hair in a messy bun
我通常是把头发乱糟糟地扎起来
and stumble from door to door
然后跌跌撞撞地挨家挨户敲门
telling people I was my mother.
告诉大家我就是我妈
This Halloween, I went as my doctor, Michael.
今年万圣节 我打扮成我的医生迈克
And I dressed up my buddy here
我把我的狗狗打扮成
As his lover, Joseph.
他的爱人 约瑟夫
We lost.
我们后来情不自禁
Antonia was always there for me
安东尼娅一直陪在我身边
Halloween, Christmas, Easter every holiday.
万圣节 圣诞节 复活节 每一个节日
Really, every day.
每一天
She was really like a mother to me.
她就像我妈妈一样
Where was your real mother?
那你真正的妈妈呢
Hey, what kind of dog is that?
这只是什么品种的狗啊
I mean, besides "Sad"?
除了"苦瓜脸品种"外
Her mother had an affair, got pushed out.
她妈妈跟人偷情 然后被扫地出门
That's her hot spot, so don't lick it.
那是她的痛处 所以别随便碰
It's okay, Max, I don't need any protection.
没关系 麦克斯 我不需要任何保护
You don't need protection?
你不需要任何保护[措施]
Who are you, every guy I've ever dated?
你是谁 跟我约过会的男人吗
Bebe, yes, my mother was unfaithful to my father,
碧碧 没错 我妈妈是背叛了我爸爸
so she was sent away.
所以她被赶走了
But I had Antonia and she took care of me.
但我有安东尼娅 她照顾我
She was my family.
她就是我的家人
That must have been hard. Everybody needs a mother.
那一定很难熬 人人都需要妈妈
I'd be crazy without my mother.
我没有我妈 一定会疯掉的
She drives me to all my appointments.
我看病都是她载我去的
But you drive.
但你不是会开车吗
Yeah...
是啊
But I'm not supposed to.
但医生不让我开
It's okay I asked Bebe to wait in the car, right?
我让碧碧在车里等着没事吧
I mean, she'll be okay. We cracked a window.
她不会憋死的 有扇车窗留了一条缝
Yeah, and she's got a bowl and a chew toy.
是啊 她有个碗和一个宠物用咀嚼玩具
Come on, let's sign in.
来吧 过来签到
Max, I have to keep it together when I meet the family.
麦克斯 当我见到她家人时 我要振作
I can't be all emotional.
我不能太动情
Look, my hand's shaking. This is terrible.
瞧 我的手在抖 太可怕了
What? It was a terrible signature.
干嘛 刚才的签名丑死了
And there were only five other names on the page.
而且那页也只有五个其他人的名字而已
Get rid of it.
处理掉它
"Get rid of it"?"
“处理掉它"
Who are you, every guy I've ever dated?
你是谁 跟我约过会的男人吗
"Caroline Channing.""
卡洛琳·钱宁"
Here, Max.
给 麦克斯
Oh, look.
瞧
The flowers and everything are so beautiful.
这里的花和一切都好美
There you go.
好了
You signed "Phil E. Cheesesteak"?
你居然签"费成·三明智"
You told me not to mention it anymore,
你告诉我不要再提这件事了
so it's just a reminder.
所以那只是个提醒而已
Okay, Max, there are gonna be a lot of people
麦克斯 到时候一定会有很多人
who will want my attention, so please be patient
想要得到我的关注 所以拜托要耐心
and stand next to me for the occasional supportive lean.
站在我身边 偶尔给我支持的依靠
And if someone starts to get too weepy,
如果有人开始哭得太夸张
push them out of the way
立刻把他们从我身上拉开
because I can't get tears on this dress.
因为这条裙子可不能沾上眼泪
It has to be back to Barneys by 9:00 A.M.
我明天九点前还得退给百货公司
You're here.
你来了
Here we go, Max.
开始了 麦克斯
I was talking to him.
我刚是跟他说话
Of course you were. It's a very sad day for us all.
当然当然 今天对我们来说都很伤心
That was rough.
真是太伤了
Max, look.
麦克斯 看
This is Antonia.
这就是安东尼娅
She looks really nice.
她看起来人很好
She was.
的确
I didn't know she was in the military.
原来她还在军队待过
But it does explain those fabulous bed sheet corners.
难怪床单四个边角弄得那么利落
美军规定床单要掖进床垫下 四个角要折成45度
Wait, you didn't know your nanny was a marine?
等等 你居然不知道你的保姆是海军吗
That's too bad, 'cause I'd be all,
真是太糟糕了 如果是我就会炫耀
"Yo, other little rich kid!"
喂 其他有钱的小屁孩
My nanny can snap your neck."
老娘的保姆能轻易折断你们脖子哦"
Oh, look. There are her sisters, Cecelia and Angela,
瞧 那俩是她的姐妹 塞西莉亚和安吉拉
and there are her nieces and nephews.
这几个是她的侄子和侄女
And there is not me anywhere.
这些照片居然没一张有我
You know, my picture must be in the coffin
我的照片肯定跟其他重要人物
With the other V.I.P.S.
一起放在棺材里
If you're a V.I.P., can we get some bottle service?
如果你是个重要人物 能叫人上酒吗
Good afternoon, ladies.
下午好 女士们
I'm Anthony, Antonia's nephew.
我是安东尼 安东尼娅的侄子
It's sad day, huh?
真是令人难过的一天
Yes, it is.
没错
Think I just got a little less sad.
我觉得我现在也没这么难过了
Oh! Anthony!
安东尼
Stop. We're family.
住手 我们可是一家人
I'm Caroline Channing.
我是卡洛琳·钱宁
You're Caroline "Hot," is all I know.
我只知道你是卡洛琳辣妹
You ladies need cash envelopes
你们俩是要用信封装钱
or you guys cool?
还是要不要都行
I always need a cash envelope.
我最缺的就是装钱的信封了
I'm sorry, envelopes for what?
抱歉 信封要拿来装什么啊
Well, at Italian wakes, the mourners give the family
根据意大利葬礼的习♥俗 哀悼者瞻仰死者遗容后
a donation after they view the deceased.
会捐一点钱给死者家属
So it's pay per view?
所以是要"按次收费"瞻仰吗
That was a good one.
这句吐槽太犀利了
Hey, you want to go get a pop later?
晚点要一起喝一杯吗
We're leaving right after, but yes, Anthony.
我们完事就走了 但好吧 安东尼
Thank you. We'll take an envelope.
谢谢 麻烦给我们个信封
The body's right through there.
遗体就在前面
Go right ahead.
一直往前走
Anthony, stop.
安东尼 住手
I'm really nervous.
我真的好紧张啊
I've never seen a dead body before.
我以前从来没见过尸体
I've seen a bunch.
我见多了
A couple of them were my fault.
有几具还是拜我所赐
I don't have any cash.
我没有现金
Do you have any money? Let me check my wallet.
你有带钱吗 我看看我的钱包
This is a real Ziploc, not one of those knock offs.
这是名牌密封塑胶袋 可不是什么山寨货哦
Make sure you seal the envelope,
一定要把信封封好
so people think it's all quarters.
好让别人觉得里面都是25美分的硬币
Max, we're next.
麦克斯 下一个到我们了
I'm afraid. Hold my hand.
我好害怕 牵住我的手
Hold hands? What are we?
牵手 你以为我们是什么
该网站是最大的信仰性在♥线约会网站之一
On a ChristianMingle fifth date?
基督徒约会网站上第五次约会的男女吗
Please, Max. I'm nervous.
拜托了 麦克斯 我好紧张啊
Oh, God. Thank you.
天啊 谢谢
Okay. Now give it back.
好了 松手
What? That was just my longest relationship.
干嘛 这已经是我维持最长的一段感情了
Plus, I need it to put this change in the envelope.
再说了 我得把这些零钱放进信封里
Oh, she looks so peaceful.
她看起来一脸平静
Hi, Antonia. It's me, Caroline.
安东尼娅 我是卡洛琳
Should I kiss her? The family is right there watching.
我应该亲她吗 她家人在旁边看着呢
The lady before us kissed her.
前面那个女士就亲了
Go for it. Doesn't look like she'd fight you.
亲吧 反正看样子她也不会推开你
Okay, on the count of three.
好的 数到三
One, two
一 二
No! Max, hold my hand again while I
不行 麦克斯 牵着我的手
What do we do?
我们该怎么办
Wait, leave it! We were giving it to them anyway.
住手 别捡了 反正我们也要给她家人的
Not all of it. That's our cheesesteak money.
不是全部都给啊 那可是我们买三明治的钱
Leave it. Come on.
别捡了 快过来
I am so, so sorry about that.
刚才的事真是非常抱歉
My nerves got the best of me. You understand.
我实在是太紧张了 你懂的
I'm Cecelia, Antonia's
我是塞西莉亚 安东尼娅的
Sister. I know.
妹妹 我知道
I see the resemblance.
你们俩长得很像
I'm Caroline.
我是卡洛琳
Caroline who?
谁啊 卡洛琳
Oh. Caroline Channing.
卡洛琳·钱宁啊
Caroline Channing who?
谁是卡洛琳·钱宁
You're having a hard time processing. Understandable.
你现在心情不好想不起 可以理解
It's been a very emotional day for us all.
今天对我们所有人来说都非常难过
Who is this girl?
这个女孩是谁
You, I feel like I've seen somewhere.
你 我倒觉得我在哪里见过你
Are you Ricky's girl From Rochester?
你是里基在罗彻斯特的女友吗
I could be. What's in it for me?
有可能 是的话对我有什么好处
Antonia used to take care of me when I was little.
安东尼娅在我小时候照顾过我
Oh, Antonia was your baby sitter.
安东尼娅是你的临时保姆啊
Very nice of you to come.
你能来真好
Well, she was hardly my "baby sitter."
她不是我的"临时保姆"
She took care of me every day for ten years.
她十年来的每一天都在照顾我
Caroline. Caroline Channing.
我是卡洛琳 卡洛琳·钱宁啊
I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are, sweetheart,
很抱歉 但我真不认识你 亲爱的
Though it seems to be what you're hammering me about.
虽然你一直在向我施压 逼我假
装认识你
If you'll excuse me,
容我失陪一下
I need a cigarette.
我要去抽根烟
And then I got to remove
抽完了我还得去捡
some of those pennies off of my sister.
掉在我姐姐身上的钢镚
It's a coffin, not a wishing well.
那是口棺材 不是什么许愿井
This funeral turned out to be very depressing.
这个葬礼变得好令人感到沉重[沮丧]
Well, yeah.
没错
Dead body in the room, generally a buzz kill.
有个死人躺在这里 不死气沉沉都难
Unless it's an Irish wake
除非这是爱尔兰式守灵
爱尔兰人爱喝酒 啤酒乒乓是一种喝酒游戏
then you're playing beer pong off the coffin.
这样你就可以隔着棺材玩啤酒乒乓啦
No, I mean, how is it possible
我的意思是 这家人
that the family doesn't even know me?
怎么可能没一个人认识我呢
Did Antonia never even mention me?
难道安东尼娅从来没提起过我吗
Let's focus on the positive.
你应该往好的方面想
Anthony really liked your ass.
安东尼真的很喜欢你的小屁屁
I know what Antonia and I had.
我知道我和安东尼娅拥有过什么
This is what we had.
这就是我们拥有的回忆
Peep, peep.
唧唧 唧唧
That's what we had.
那是我们的美好回忆
Well, that's a lot.
那已经很多啦
But I guess no one in this family wants to admit that,
但我猜这家人不会承认我们的回忆
and it's a shame too,
这真是太遗憾了
because I had a great eulogy.
因为我准备了很棒的悼词
You do?
是吗
Yes. I do.
是的 没错
Would you like me to share it with you?
你想让我跟你分享吗
I most certainly would.
当然想啊
You are not seriously eulogy bombing
你不是真的要拿你的烂悼词
that old lady, are you?
去精神轰炸那位老太太吧
She asked me about my great eulogy.
是她先问起我的悼词的
She's a hundred.
她都一百岁了
She probably thought you said you had a great urologist.
很可能听成你说你有一位很棒的
泌尿科医生
Do you have a pen?
你有笔吗
I'm getting the name of her doctor.
我要记下她医生的名字
No, ma'am, I didn't say, "urologist."
不 夫人 我说的不是"泌尿科医生"
I said, "eulogy." A great eulogy.
我说的是"悼词" 很棒的悼词[音似]
Why would you give the eulogy?
你凭啥上去念悼词啊
Because I'm Caroline Channing.
因为我是卡洛琳·钱宁
Who?
谁呀
Caroline Channing.
卡洛琳·钱宁
Caroline Channing.
卡洛琳·钱宁
Antonia was my nanny.
安东尼娅是我的保姆
My family was rich,
我家过去超级有钱
but then my father robbed everyone,
但后来我父亲骗走了全世界的钱
and we became the scourge of society,
于是我们沦为害群之马
overshadowed a little bit by Mel Gibson
同一周 梅尔·吉布森仇视犹太人的言论
hating the Jews that same week.
盖过了我家丑闻风头一点点
Surely, you remember?
你们绝对应该记得
Honey, I don't even remember how I got here.
小宝贝 我连怎么来这里的都不记得了
I can't believe this.
真是难以置信
I constructed my entire "Happy" Childhood
我整个童年之所以"快乐"都是因为
On the fact that even though my mom left
我坚信 就算我妈离开了我
and apparently didn't love me,
就算她不爱我
Antonia did.
但还有安东尼娅爱我
And now I get here and I realize
而我来了这里 我意识到
no one loved me, I was just a paycheck.
没人爱过我 她只是为了挣钱
One of the many kids she baby sat.
我只是她照顾的众多小孩中的一个
I don't even know why I bothered to come.
我甚至不知道我来这里的意义是什么
I'm going to the restroom and then we can just leave.
我去一趟洗手间 然后我们就走
Excuse me. Hi.
打扰一下 你好
Max, Ricky's girl.
我是麦克斯 里基的女友
I know this is a hard time for you,
我知道现在你很难过
but it's a hard time for my friend as well.
但对我朋友来说 她也很难过
And even though you never heard of her,
即使你从来没有听说过她
I was wondering if you could just go over there,
但我恳请你能否过去
and say you just remembered her,
对她说你想起来了
and that Antonia talked about her all the time?
安东尼娅经常在你们面前提起她
I know it's a 180 on your original story and a lie,
我明白这是要你说谎推翻你之前的话
and I'd offer to pay you for your trouble,
我也乐意给你辛苦费
but my 401k is laying in that box on top of your sister.
但我的养老金全在装着你姐姐的盒子里了
Look, I only permitted you two to stay
我是看在你男人里基的面子 才没赶你俩走
'cause your Ricky was so nice to uncle Joe
要不是去年乔舅舅从楼顶摔下来时
when he fell off the roof last year.
全靠他出手相救
But now, you gotta go.
但现在 你们还是离开这吧
Okay. Be that way.
好吧 随便你好了
But don't expect Ricky to pick up Uncle Joe for dialysis.
但下次乔舅舅要去做透析时 里奇不会去接他的
Max, what are you doing?
麦克斯 你这是干什么
The family asked me to put it up.
是那家人让我贴上去的
They just remembered you.
他们想起你来了
Oh, my God.
天啊
I'm so pathetic, you have to put up my picture
我有这么可悲吗 需要你粘照片
to make me feel better?
来哄我吗
In a way, yes.
在某种程度上 是的
It belongs up there.
这照片本来就应该贴在这里
Who wouldn't want to know that kid?
谁不想会认识这个孩子啊
Nice to meet you, Antonia.
很高兴见到你 安东尼娅
Please don't haunt us.
千万不要做鬼来找我们
Now, let's hit the road and get some freaking cheesesteaks!
快上路吧 我们还要买牛肉三明治呢
Max, please take that down.
麦克斯 快把照片弄下来
It's so embarrassing.
太丢脸了
Nobody here knows anything about me.
这里没人认识我
They didn't know me either, chicken.
他们也不认识我啊 小鸡仔
Hey, who you callin' chicken?
你叫谁小鸡仔呢
Me. That was Antonia's nickname for me.
我 那是安东尼娅给我起的昵称
You know who I am?
你知道我是谁吗
Of course I do.
我当然知道
Antonia's little chick, her peep.
安东尼娅的小鸡仔 她的小唧唧
She loved you.
她很爱你
And she loved making you that costume.
她也喜欢给你做那套装束
took the whole kitchen table up with all those sequins,
整个厨房餐桌上全铺满了亮片
But she knew you deserved to sparkle.
她知道你就该是最耀眼的那一个
She loved you so much, I couldn't begin to complain.
她非常爱你 我根本没办法抱怨
I'm so sorry. What was your name?
不好意思 请问您是哪位
I'm Meg O'Hara. I was her roommate.
我是梅格·欧哈拉 我是她的室友
And lover.
兼爱人
We were together 30 years.
我们在一起30年了
The military!
军队拉拉情
I know, right? I mean, come on.
没错 明眼人一看就知道了
That's me with my arm around her on that tank.
当时在坦克那 我的手可是搂着她啊
And the family still had no clue.
而那一家子蠢蛋却还是看不出来
Vintage lez very cool.
老一代蕾丝边 超级酷啊
I know toni would have wanted you to have these.
安东尼娅会希望你收下这些照片
Oh, thanks for coming, chicken.
感谢你的到来 小鸡仔
You're probably the only person in the world
你大概是这世界上唯一一个
who loved her as purely as I did.
对她的爱像我一样纯粹的人了
Max, look.
麦克斯 看
Christmas.
圣诞节的照片
And my birthday.
我生日时的照片
And the Teen Choice Awards.
还有参加青少年选择奖时的照片
I'm sorry for your loss.
节哀顺变
Thank you.
感激不尽
Philly cheesesteaks for everybody!
费城牛肉奶酪三明治 人人有份啦
And you really haven't lived
我终于活过来了
until you've driven two hours in a Chevy
之前在雪弗兰里跟九个牛肉三明治
with nine cheesesteaks and a gassy animal.
和一只爱放屁的动物待了两个小时 都要死了
What? I ate mine in the car.
这有啥 我不就在车上吃完了
Hey, Earl, you missed one hell of a funeral.
厄尔 你错过了一场精彩的葬礼
You should have come.
你真应该去的
There were some hot octogenarians,
那有不少八九十岁的老辣奶
and I got a definite "jungle fever" vibe from one of them.
而且我接收到其中一位超强的"求欢"信号
Girl, at my age, you don't go anywhere near funerals.
像我这种年纪的人 可不想在葬礼上出现
You accidentally doze off, you spend six hours
只要你一不小心打个瞌睡 就得花上六小时
digging yourself out of the ground.
把你自己从地里挖出来
Hey, how you holding up, chicken?
你还好吧 小鸡仔
I'm okay. Thanks.
我没事 多谢关心
And Max, when I die,
麦克斯 我死的时候
I don't care who else is at my funeral,
我不在乎我的葬礼都有谁出席
as long as you're there.
只要你来了就行
Of course I'll be there.
我当然会去
The murderer always shows up to throw off the cops.
凶手向来为了甩掉警察而出席葬礼
Also, save the money on a casket
对了 棺材别花太多钱
and just toss me in a hole wearing Dior and a smoky eye.
给我一套迪奥寿服 化烟熏妆 扔洞里就行了
Unless I'm fat then burn me.
如果到时我很胖 那就火葬了吧
Well, I don't want a funeral.
我不想要葬礼
When I die, just shove my corpse into a cannon
等我死的时候 把我尸体塞进大炮里
and blow me directly into the Trump casino.
直接冲着大西洋城特朗普赌场来一发 送我过去