Han的女朋友
Max, Caroline.
麦克斯 卡洛琳
Look, here comes Han carrying an iPad mini.
是阿憨拿着迷你iPad走过来
Or is it an iPad carrying a mini Han?
还是iPad拿着一只迷你阿憨而来啊
Han has a mini iPad?
阿憨居然有迷你iPad
iPad名字里的pad也有卫生巾的意思
We can't even afford a Maxi pad.
我们连大号卫生巾都买不起
I am so upset. I'm stuck in a lie.
好不爽 我说谎坑[困]死自己了
Well, it's better than the time
那也好过你上次
you got stuck in that backpack.
把自己困在背包里啊
Seriously, you guys. I'm in trouble.
别闹了 我有麻烦了
I just opened this email,
我刚看到邮件
and my mother is coming to visit.
我妈要来看我
You have a mother?
原来你有妈妈啊
I thought you came to life
我还以为你的诞生
after a kid in a toy store made a wish.
是因为玩具店里某个小孩许了个愿
Han, your mother's coming all the way from Korea to see you.
阿憨 你妈妈千里迢迢从韩国来看你
Isn't that great news?
这不是该高兴吗
Is this the face of great news?
我这脸看起来像高兴吗
See, my mother thinks I have a girlfriend.
重点是 我妈以为我有个女朋友
My father still thinks I wasn't in the car
我爸也以为我朋友
when my friend hit that grifter in the Hamptons.
在度假地撞死骗子的时候 我不在场啊
She thinks I have a girlfriend
她以为我有个女朋友
because I might have told her I did.
是因为我貌似有说过这话
Did you or didn't you?
你是说过还是没说过
I I might have.
貌似有
And I might have sent my mother pictures of someone
我貌似也有发了一个女人的照片给我妈
and told her that she was the woman I'm dating.
跟她说那就是我女朋友
Han, you might have catfished your mom?
阿憨 你"鲶鱼"了你妈吗
I might have.
貌似是吧
Catfishing right.
鲶鱼嘛 我懂
That's when you pick up a woman in a bar,
就是指在酒吧钓上了个妞
and when you get her in the light,
等带她到灯光明亮的地方时
you realize she has whiskers.
才发现她有长胡须
P.S. doesn't bother me.
对了 爷照"上"不误
No, catfishing is when you pretend to be someone"
“鲶鱼"是指在网上伪装成别人
you're not on the internet.
隐藏真实的自己
词的来源是一部2010年的纪录片电影"鲶鱼" 讲一段从未见过面的网络情缘到最后见面的故事
You know, like everyone on the internet.
基本网上的人都那样
All my mother wants is for me to be happily married
我妈唯一的心愿就是我有一段
like my father and her.
她跟我爸一样的美满姻缘
All my mother wants is a cure for hep c.
我妈唯一的心愿就是能治愈丙型肝炎
Look, here she is.
我发了她的照片
"Korean beauty June Kim, aka Sapphire"?"
韩国美女金君恩 艺名蓝宝石"
Han, you chose a prostitute?
阿憨 你居然找了个妓♥女
She's not a prostitute. She has a website.
她才不是妓♥女 只是有个人网站而已嘛
Yeah, and I know a guy with business cards
我还认识个男的 名片上写着
whose "job" it is to relax your rectum.
专业"菊花放松师"呢
It says she's an exotic dancer
上面写她在曼哈顿的
at this gentlemen's club in Manhattan.
一家男士夜总会里当脱衣舞♥女
So just go there and hire the hooker
那你就去那请这位妓♥女
to pretend to be your girlfriend.
来当你女朋友就好啦
And there's a sentence I never thought I'd say.
我从没想过我会说出这句话
I tried, but the bouncer told me to wait in the alley
我试过了 但门卫让我去巷子里等妈妈来
for my mother like all the other children.
像其他没大人领着进酒吧小孩一样
So I was hoping you guys could go for me.
所以我想麻烦你们帮我跑一趟
Han, we are not doing that.
阿憨 我们不会帮你的
Strip clubs, lies that's not my scene.
脱衣酒吧 谎言 太掉我的价了
That's not your "scene"?
太掉你的"价"
You have a scene?
你还有个价吗
What is your scene, Caroline?
符合你价的情景是怎样啊
I haven't seen your scene.
我好像还没见过啊
In fact, you haven't seen your scene in two years.
你自己都两年没见过你符合你价的场景了
Trust me, this is your scene now.
听姐的 这情景就是你现在的价
Oh, I understand.
行 我明白了
Just one question
我就问一件事
Did I or did I not let you have
我到底有没有
the cupcake window rent free?
免你们小蛋糕窗口的租金呢
Wow, Han. That's a cheap shot.
靠 阿憨 你这招够狠啊
Low, bitchy I respect that.
又损又贱 敬佩敬佩
We'll go to the strip club,
我们帮你去脱衣酒吧
But if it's nude, nude, nude,
但如果里面都是 脱脱脱
I am leaving, leaving, leaving.
我绝对走走走
That's the first time Han's ever been able
这绝对是阿憨生平首次
to hold something over someone's head.
把东西举过别人头上啊
这句话也有靠亏欠感与罪恶感 让别人帮你忙的意思
Sapphire will be right with you, ladies.
姑娘们 蓝宝石马上就来
Thank you, my good man.
谢谢了 老大哥
Give me a 20 from Han.
拿张阿憨给的20块给我
You gotta tip at these places or they'll murder you.
这里绝对得给小费 不然会被人砍死的
Thanks, doll.
谢了 美女
You'se twos can have a seat on that couch.
你们两位可以坐在沙发上稍待片刻
Oh, no. No, Thank you.
不 不用了 谢谢
I'm not catching
我今天...
not catching "Sypha gonna titus" today.
可不想染上"梅 淋 肝"...
Well, if a whore's bath is appropriate anywhere,
全世界最适合洗"妓♥女澡"的地方
妓♥女澡 在客人与客人之间清理腋下与胯下的简单清洁
it's here.
就是这里了吧
Max, please be professional when she comes in.
麦克斯 人家进来后 请以专业眼光看待
No sexual comments.
不许乱开黄腔
Considering she's used to walking in on dudes
凭她每天一进来就得面对
who have their junk in their hand like a sad present,
手上握着鸡鸡 好像那是礼物似的男人
I am sure I can manage to not offend her.
我肯定不会做出让她不爽的事
I'm just saying that despite where we are, let's remember,
我的意思是 要记得无论工作场
地为何
she's a business woman like us.
她与我们一样都是商场英雌
The chairman of the board is here.
董事会主席已经到位
Hi, ladies. You ready for a good time?
女士们 准备好要爽一把了吗
Been waitin' my whole life.
等一辈子了
Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.
你好 很高兴见到你
I'm Caroline Channing,
我是卡洛琳·钱宁
and this is my colleague, Max Black.
她是我的同事 麦克斯·布莱克
Yo, how's this gonna work? I don't do two at a time.
所以今天怎么搞 我不能一次服务两人
So who wants to watch, who wants to ride?
你们俩谁想看 谁想"骑"
Oh, right.
这样吗
Neither of us will be riding, per se.
基本上我们两个都不"骑"
Hold your roll, girl.
妹儿 话先别说太早
We're spending a lot of Han's money here.
咱们砸了阿憨不少钱进来的呢
If I want a ride, I'm getting a ride.
姐姐若是想要骑 就得骑
Um, is it June or Sapphire?
该称呼你君恩还是蓝宝石呢
You can call me Paul if you pay me.
只要你给钱 叫我保罗都行
June, we're not here for a dance
君恩 我们不是来看大腿舞
or any of the other things you do that I don't judge you for
或来享受你其他我完全没意见的服务
because I'm very open minded.
我思想很前卫哦
I've been to Amsterdam.
我去过阿姆斯特丹红灯区
I'm on camera so I gotta dance for someone
这里有监视器在看 我必须得跳舞
or my bosses will fire me.
不然我老板会炒了我
And then it's back to waiting tables.
然后就得回到女服务员生活
told myself I'd never sink that low again.
我答应过自己不会再堕落到那地步
Yeah, we say that every day when we get dressed for work.
我们每天换上制服前也这么对自己说
Okay, sit. Let's do this.
坐下 我们开始吧
It's fine. I think I got all the stains.
没事 我应该都先擦干净了
It's official! We've paid Han back.
我们现在正式还清欠阿憨的人情了
Um, could you turn the other lights on?
能麻烦你换另一种灯光吗
黑光灯能照出各种"体液"痕迹
She's allergic to the truth.
她对事实过敏
So, June, here's the thing. We have this boss.
君恩 是这样的 我们的老板...
Yeah, girl, work that.
小妞 使劲接着跳
I'm being encouraging, businesswoman to businesswoman.
我是在给她鼓励 职场女性互相勉励啊
Anyway, his name is Han Lee, and see,
言归正传 他叫李憨
his mother is coming to visit.
他母亲要来探望他
Oh, nice move there.
这招棒啊
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I wasn't encouraging.
不不不不 我不是激励你过来
Just commenting.
纯评论而已
Oh, peek a boo, there's your head.
哎哟妈呀 你的头出现了
Anyway, he needs a girlfriend,
总之他妈希望他找个女朋友
so he sent his mother pictures of you
所以他就发了你照片给他妈
and said you were his girlfriend.
然后说你是他女朋友
I think it's her turn.
轮到她了吧
Oh, uh the gist is,
今天来目的就是
he's willing to pay you to pretend to be his girlfriend.
他愿意付你钱 请你假扮他女朋友
And I'm willing to pay you to show me
我也愿意付你钱 请你教我
how to do that with my hips.
怎么用我的丰臀使出这招
Ooh, you would make a great stripper.
你绝对能当个好脱衣舞娘啊
I know, I just have a fear of success thing.
我知道 我只是害怕成功
Can we turn the music off?
我们能先关上音乐吗
'Cause I'm getting disoriented
我开始有点晕头转向了
and, in all honesty, a little turned on.
而且老实说 还有点性奋
And I cannot be a latent bisexual
但我现在事情已经够多
with everything else already on my plate.
实在不是个变疑似双性恋的好时机
How much?
你们出多少钱
Whatever your rate is for sex,
我们付你跟人上床的费用
but you won't even have to have sex.
但你都不用出卖身体
At the most, just kissing.
顶多就是亲亲小嘴
Kissing is $500. I love you.
亲嘴要收费五百 我爱你
Okay. I can give him the "girlfriend experience" package.
我可以给他来个女友体验套餐
He has no girlfriend, no experience, and no package,
他没女友 没经验[体验] 更没[大雕套餐]
so that sounds perfect.
这真是太适合了
Here, Earl, when my mother comes in,
拿去 厄尔 等我妈进来
pretend you are reading this.
你就假装在读这个
Ooh, the Bible.
传说中的圣经啊
You know, I remember when this first came out.
我还记得这书刚上市那会呢
Didn't think it would be a hit.
压根没料到会变得这么火
Earl, we're talking about our lord, Jesus Christ!
我的老天 厄尔别拿我们的主开玩笑
So, no sign of mama say mama sah ma mama Han?
还没有"妈妈 妈妈大人 妈妈憨"的影子吗
源自于迈克·杰克逊的歌曲《Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'》 曲中歌词"Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa"音似妈妈
I don't know. I don't know what she looks like.
不知道 我不知道她长什么样
She's here.
她来了
妈妈
Han!
阿憨
I can't tell if she's a smaller him
我不知道憨妈是缩小版阿憨
or if he's a smaller her.
还是阿憨是年轻版憨妈
妈妈 你来了 我好高兴啊
?? ? Williamsburg diner ??
这里是威廉斯堡餐厅
谢谢
这食堂比想象中还大啊
You must be Han's mother.
您一定是阿憨的妈妈
I'm Earl.
我是厄尔
I was just reading the Bible,
我刚刚还在读圣经呢
'cause when am I not?
因为我无时无刻都在读啊
Mother, this is Caroline.
母亲大人 这位是卡洛琳
您好
欢迎来纽约
Hay yo!
嘿哟
Caroline, I didn't know you spoke Korean.
卡洛琳 我都不知道你会说韩语
I took it as an elective after I mastered Japanese.
在我彻底掌握日语后 学了韩语当选修
I had a hunch Asia was gonna take over the world.
当年有个预感 有天亚洲会一统世界
And congratulations, right on track.
恭喜恭喜 我没猜错
Caroline, your Korean is very good.
卡洛琳 你的韩语说得很好
And this is Max.
这位是麦克斯
Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lee.
幸会幸会 李女士
What does that face mean in Korean?
那表情在韩语里代表啥意思
It means zip up your top.
表示你该把上衣拉链拉上
Here, mother, sit. You must be hungry.
来 母亲 请坐 您一定饿了
I'll get you a menu.
我去给你拿菜单
That's weird.
奇了怪了
These usually bring joy to the people.
这对宝贝从来都是给人们带来欢乐啊
Han Lee, where is your girlfriend?
李憨 你的女朋友呢
You'll meet her at dinner tomorrow.
明晚吃饭就能见到了
She wanted to be here,
她也想来
but with church and all her work in brain surgery,
但她要去教会 还要帮人做脑部手术
she's very busy.
她实在抽不开身
And I thought it was unrealistic
在你说你的女友
when you had a girlfriend that didn't need an air pump.
不是"充气的"时我就觉得假 没想到你还...
Han, what are you thinking?
阿憨 你想什么呢
How are you ever going to pull this off?
你要怎么去圆这个谎
With the help of my two best friends?
靠我两位死党的大力帮忙啊
Oh, good. Who are they?
那挺好啊 他们是谁
Please, have June come to your apartment
拜托了 约君恩去你们家
and we can brief her.
我们先跟她对台词[快]
Well, if it's with you, it's gonna be brief.
跟你"一起" 肯定"快"啊
Remember, you owe me. No, Han.
别忘了 你们欠我的 才不是 阿憨
At that club, I saw a pregnant wall.
在酒吧 我看见一面感觉会怀孕的墙
So...
所以...
I think we're even.
人情债已经两清了
If I'm here to meet June, why am I blindfolded?
我是来见君恩的 为什么要蒙我眼睛
So you can never find your way back to our apartment again.
这样你就不会知道我们到底住哪儿
But I have your address on your work forms.
但工作表上有填你们的住址啊
No, you don't.
会填这里才怪
Max, I think he can take it off now.
麦克斯 我觉得可以把眼罩摘下了
It's been an hour,
都蒙了一个小时了
and we spun him around three times.
而且我们还带他绕了三圈
Well, someone's been to a flea market.
看来我是到跳蚤市场了
And it smells like pot in here.
这里闻起来有一股大♥麻味
So I smoked up a little before work. I got to.
人家上班前抽了一点而已啦 没办法
My boss is a real butt munch.
谁让我老板是个烦人精
Okay, our call girl is here.
我们的应♥召女郎到啦
Another sentence I never thought I'd say.
我也从未想过我会说这句话
I look like I've had a call girl before, right?
我看起来像打电话叫过小姐的人 对吧
Han, you don't look like you've called a girl before.
阿憨 你看起来就像从没给女人打电话的人
I need to calm down.
我得平静下来
Do you have any chamomile tea?
你这有甘菊茶吗
No, because I'm not a divorced woman
没有 我又不是那种在秋风中
on a balcony in the fall.
呆坐在阳台的离异妇女
But I do have something that will help you relax.
但我的确有东西能帮你放松
Ooh, you mean
你是说[大♥麻]
Yes, I'm gonna lull you to sleep with a tiny, invisible whistle.
是的 我要用一个看不见的小口哨哄你入睡
So, June, are you working your way through
君恩 你干这行是为了要赚学费
graduate school or something?
还是有难言之隐
No, I like getting paid for sex.
都不是 我喜欢做♥爱有钱赚
I mean, what's a handy every now and then if it pays
你不觉得时不时就有钱交我那套
the mortgage on my Parkview Terrace apartment, right?
全景阳台豪华公寓的按揭 不是很方便吗
Life is so funny sometimes.
生活有时真的很有意思
Just when you think you're better than someone,
正当你窃喜自己比别人好时
you're not.
却惊觉其实不然
Here we are, all relaxed.
我们好了 整个人都放松了
And that was wild,
刚才真是疯狂
like getting your hamster stoned.
感觉就像小仓鼠抽大♥麻抽嗨了
Okay, June, this has all the details
君恩 这些是阿憨告诉他妈妈
that Han sent his mom about you.
有关你的所有细节
You told your mom I'm a Harvard educated Christian doctor
你告诉你妈我是一个哈佛毕业的基督徒医生
and also a renowned classical pianist?
还是一个有名的古典乐钢琴家
Yes, we met at church and are crazy in love,
对 我们在教堂相遇 然后疯狂爱上对方
but we're waiting till marriage.
但我们都遵守戒律 不结婚不上床
Oh, well, the virgin experience is 1,000.
好吧 处女服务要一千
Will you take 800?
八百行吗
Max! What?
麦克斯 干嘛
I was unconscious when I lost mine.
我失身的时候不省人事
And I want to see what it's like.
我也想见识一下是怎样
Oh, I hope that's pizza.
希望是披萨来了
'cause I could go to third base
因为现在我够胆
on some crazy bread right now.
跟面包团[胸部]来个亲密接触
No! It's Sophie.
不 是苏菲啦
I asked her to bring down some crosses
我让她带几条十字项链给君恩
for June to wear when she meets your mom.
好让她见你妈妈时戴上
What? Sophie knows I hired a prostitute
什么 苏菲也知道我请妓♥女
to be my girlfriend?
来当我的女友吗
No, I didn't tell her anything.
没有啦 我什么都没说
But this will be a good test to see
但这是一个测试的好机会
if you two pass as a couple.
看看别人会不会觉得你们是一对
Hey, what's Han doing with that hooker?
阿憨跟那个妓♥女坐在一起干嘛
Sophie, this is June.
苏菲 这位是君恩
We hired her to pretend to be Han's girlfriend
阿憨的妈妈来了 所以我们请她
while his mom's in town.
来假扮阿憨的女朋友
Oh, wait, so his mom
慢着 所以他妈妈
is supposed to believe that
会真的相信
their parts match up somehow
他们的某部位"合"上了
and that's a fun thing for her?
而且她还感觉很爽吗
Oh. L O L.
笑死姐了
Oh, this is one of those things
这事就属于那种
that you think about later and you laugh.
过了一会想起来 还是会忍俊不禁的类型
Look, look, Caroline, look.
对了 卡洛琳 瞧
I brought you your crosses.
我把十字项链拿来了
Sophie, do you have anything smaller?
苏菲 你就没有小点的吗
It's a date, not an exorcism.
这是约会 不是搞驱魔
Oh, well, you gotta say that.
好吧 谁让你不早点说
All right, I'll be right back.
好吧 我马上回来
You see, I'm thinking about it later and I'm L O L'ing.
瞧 过了一会 我想起来还是笑死姐了
Well, I gotta go. I got this.
我得走了 这事妥了
But that's a lot of material.
但这材料有很多呢
You don't want to stay and cram it?
你不打算留下来 死记硬背一下吗
How much for that?
这又要多少钱
No, it's cool. I can fake it.
不要钱 没关系 我超会装的
You're sure you can fake it?
你确定你可以吗
Can I fake it?
那你们来评评看
Oh, God. Oh, God.
天啊 天啊
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
好爽 好爽 爽死了
She's sure.
装得一脸好高♥潮啊
I wonder why Han and his girlfriend are late?
怎么阿憨跟他女朋友还不来
Maybe something came up
或许临时有事
and she had to take care of it.
他女朋友得处理一下
That's actually probably exactly what happened.
其实 可能 就是这样
I hope my hair looks all right.
希望我的头发看起来还行
I'm wearing it the other way.
因为我今天把假发反过来戴
It looks pretty.
看起来很漂亮
Yes. Very pretty.
是啊 完全看不出来
I am just so excited that my Han
我的小憨憨终于找到了
finally found the perfect girlfriend.
完美的另一半 我好兴奋
Oh, you know, his June is a brilliant brain surgeon.
他的君恩是一位优秀的脑外科医生
Well, she certainly knows a lot about head.
她的确非常了解各种"头"部
And she also goes to church every Sunday.
她每个周日都会去教堂
Yep, that girl is always on her knees.
是啊 她总是"跪在地上"[口♥交]
And she is a classical pianist.
她还是位古典乐钢琴家[阴♥茎玩家]
She is making this too easy.
她这些话真是槽点满满
Oh, there they are.
他们来了
Han! Han!
阿憨 阿憨
And girlfriend of Han.
还有阿憨的女朋友
Mother, may I present June?
母亲大人 这位是君恩
June, this is my mother, Su min Lee.
君恩 这是我妈 李素敏
Please, call me Su min Lee.
你就叫我李素敏行啦
Which means, so mean to me."
素敏"的谐音就是态度差
It's a pleasure to meet you.
很高兴见到你
I've heard such a great deal about you.
一直以来 久仰大名
Oh, and Han has told me how you two met.
阿憨也跟我说了你们相遇的经过
What a beautiful story.
真是个美丽的故事
Oh, yes.
没错
That was beautiful when we met at...
的确很美 我们是在
Upstairs on the roof
楼上 屋顶
Church! We met in church.
是教堂 我们在教堂相遇的
Upstairs on the roof of church.
教堂楼上的屋顶
We wanted to be closer to God.
我们想离上帝更近一点
We are both so holy!
我们俩都是虔诚的信徒
Is it hot in here? Or is it just the situation?
这里是不是很热啊 还是因为现在这情况
Oh, look, the appetizers Mrs. Lee
瞧 李女士花钱点的
is paying for are here.
开胃菜上桌啦
Before we start on the appetizers,
在我们开始吃开胃菜前
June, please pray.
金恩 要先祷告
I don't know any prayers.
我不懂祷告时要说什么
No, no, I'll do it, mother.
不用 我来吧 母亲大人
But first please, can I get a Moscow mule?
但首先 我能来杯莫斯科骡子鸡尾酒吗
Go, June. Please, pray.
来嘛 金恩 快祷告
Oh, God.
上帝啊[爽啊]
Oh, God. Oh, God.
上帝啊 上帝啊
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
上帝啊 上帝啊 上帝啊
And amen!
阿门
Oh, okay.
好吧
I I don't know that one.
我还不知道有这种呢
Hey. I am starving.
我快饿死了
That's quality.
真是天赋异禀
Such a good appetite. You ate the whole thing.
你胃口真好 一整根直接吞下去了[深喉口交]
Didn't even chew.
都不用牙
June, the piano is free.
君恩 现在没人弹钢琴了
Oh, you must play something for us.
你来为我们弹奏一曲吧
No, she can't play.
不 她不能弹
Yeah, but you told me that she was
但你跟我说她能啊
I mean, now.
我是说现在
I mean, she can't play the piano now.
她总不能现在跑去弹钢琴吧
Look, look, Mrs. Lee.
瞧 李女士
The chrysler building.
快看克莱斯勒大厦
It has the word "Chris" in it.
上面有"克莱斯"[耶稣]几个字呢
Hey, Han, you dropped your knife.
阿憨 你的餐刀掉了
You better calm down. You're gonna blow it.
你最好冷静一点 不然会穿帮的
You can't afford to blow it.
穿帮的[口♥交]代价你可付不起
You can't even afford to kiss it.
你连接吻的钱都付不起
I'm getting tense all over again.
我又开始紧张了
Help a brother out.
快帮兄弟一把
What, you think I just carry that stuff around with me
你觉得我会把那玩意放在我手包里
in my purse in an Altoids container
装在一个外面贴有独角兽贴纸的
with a lisa frank unicorn sticker on it?
薄荷糖盒子里 随身带着吗
Max, what is going to happen?
麦克斯 接下来该怎么办
I've got a more pressing question
我有一个更想知道的问题
How does someone with a mouth so small
一个人的嘴巴这么小
get a joint so wet?
怎么会把烟卷弄这么湿呢
When June cannot play the piano,
一旦知道君恩不会弹钢琴
mother will discover my lie.
我妈就会发现我在撒谎
It will be a big, big disappointment.
她肯定会非常非常失望
I am the star of my family.
我可是我们家的荣耀啊
So, if your family were the Jacksons,
也就是说如果你们家是杰克逊家族的话
You'd be Michael?
那你就是迈克·杰克逊吗
'cause I see you more as a Tito.
我觉得你的身形更像提托
迈克·杰克逊的二哥
Actually, petite o.
老实说 应该是娇小版的
Han's mom is right behind me.
阿憨的妈妈就跟在我后面
She saw you two come in here.
她看见你们俩进来了
I tried to stop her,
我试图阻止过她
but she has strength, and it is all core.
但她力气好大 动力十足啊
Han, hide.
阿憨 快躲起来
I'm sweating through the price tag.
我直冒冷汗 都把标价签给弄湿了
And I have to return this.
这身衣服我还得还回去呢
If I'm going down,
如果这次失败了
I'm going down high.
我也要爽着失败
It's 500 for kissing.
光是接吻的价格是五百块
You can't afford to go down.
你可付不起往"下"这份钱
What is going on between you and my Han?
你跟我的小憨憨是怎么回事
You two have been whispering all night.
你们俩整晚都在说悄悄话
Poor June.
可怜的君恩啊
Poor June?
可怜[穷]的君恩
Poor June lives in a doorman building.
可怜的君恩住的可是有保安的豪华公寓
Mrs. Lee, I think you might have gotten
李女士 我觉得你对麦克斯的印象
the wrong impression of Max.
可能有点偏差
No, she is after my son
不 她追我儿子
for his big successful diner.
就是想得到他那家成功的餐馆
Oh, you have another son?
你还有另一个儿子吗
I am on to you.
我看穿你了
You are just a money grubbing,
你就是一个拜金爱钱
Big booby, dirty nasty girl.
胸大淫♥荡的下流女
Well, I wish I could say you were wrong.
我也想说你说错了 但的确是啊
Mother, stop!
母亲大人 别说了
You cannot talk to Max like that.
你不能这么跟麦克斯说话
She is a good girl, and a friend, and
她是个好女孩 好朋友
Wha?
什么
Okay, yes, you caught me.
好吧 被你逮个正着
I smoke weed.
我抽大♥麻
Yes, I'm living the fast life
没错 跟你担心的一样
in New York city just as you feared.
我在纽约过着快节奏的生活
Wha?
什么
But I only toke up
但我只有在
when I am under a lot of pressure.
压力很大的情况下才抽一口
See, mother,
母亲大人
I don't have a girlfriend.
其实我没有女朋友
June is a prostitute I paid to pretend,
君恩是我花钱请来的妓♥女
so you would think we were happy as you and father.
好让你觉得我们跟你和爸爸一样幸福
Give me that.
把那玩意给我
Wha?
什么
I too am under a lot of pressure, son.
我的压力也很大 儿子
The truth is your father and I are no longer together.
其实我和你父亲已经分开了
He had an affair with another woman
他跟别的女人偷情
who has big fake ones like her.
那女的咪♥咪就跟她的一样假
Max's breasts are real, Mrs. Lee.
麦克斯的咪♥咪是纯天然的哦 李女士
God bless.
上帝厚爱你啊
Mine are too, in case you were wondering.
如果你想知道的话 我的也是哦
I wasn't.
我不想知道
Son, are you disappointed in me?
儿子 你对我失望吗
Mother, are you disappointed in me?
母亲大人 你对我失望吗
No, Han.
不 阿憨
You are the star of our family and my heart.
你是我们家族和我心里的荣耀
I love you.
我爱你
Aw, me too.
我也是
Okay, that's enough.
好了 够了
And another problem solved by weed.
又一个用大♥麻解决的问题
Hey, Han's mom. It's puff puff pass.
阿憨的妈妈 是时候该换人了
Am I super high
是我嗨昏头了
or is that whore playing the piano?
还是那个妓♥女真的在弹钢琴啊