真假新娘

Who or what did you do to get this $20 tip?
你是"做"了什么让人家给你20块小费
Because I wheeled a customer home the other night,
我昨晚推一位坐轮椅的顾客回家
and all I got was a 5.
才拿到5块小费
And that was after we made out and I gave him a bath.
而且我跟他亲热完 还帮他洗了个澡
The lady at that table asked me what was special here,
刚才那桌女士问我们这有什么特别的
and I said, "I used to be," and then I burst into tears.
我回答"我曾是特别的姑娘" 然后就喷泪
I pull that out whenever I need a manicure.
我缺钱做指甲时都会用这招
Well, it's that time of year again.
又到了每年的这个时候啦
I'm so jealous.
真是羡慕嫉妒恨
I can't believe you only get your period once a year.
你的大姨妈居然一年只来一次
It's tax season, and my accountant said
是纳税季节啦 而我的会计说
I'm getting a refund.
我有退税款能拿呢
He also complimented these moccasins,
他还赞美了我的莫卡辛[鹿皮鞋]呢
which are also controversial around here.
而在这里只会被你们耻笑
Well, they do have the word "mock..."
因为那鞋子都叫做"莫"
"ass..." " And "Sin." "
傻" "逼"了
This is why I never wear overalls,
这也是为什么我从来不♥穿全身服
'cause you two would be...
因为你们俩会...
Over.. disgusted?
全身... 想吐吗
Precisely.
正是如此
Oh, Earl, that reminds me.
厄尔 看到你我想起来
I forgot. Here you go.
我忘了给你 拿去
I finished your taxes.
我帮你报完税了
And for the future you cannot claim
以后你不可以再把你的
your weed dealer as a dependent.
大♥麻药头列为"抚养亲属"[依赖]了
I don't know why. I'm very dependent on weed.
为什么不行 我很依赖大♥麻啊
Max, since I've been helping everyone with their taxes,
麦克斯 我最近都有在帮忙大家报税
mostly because the only other time I get to use my financial degree
主要是因为除了报税 我的金融学位就只剩
is counting how many q tips we have left,
数家里剩多少棉花棒时能用上
Five
剩5根
Three. I dropped two in the toilet,
是三根 我掉了两根进马桶
and the cockroach is using them as oars for his boat.
蟑螂兄拿去当他小船的船桨了
Ha. That'll be cute.
画面一定很可爱
Look, there are two things I won't talk about
有两件事我是不会跟你谈的
Taxes or your flying dreams.
我的税务和你的飞行梦想
Face it, Caroline. You're not going anywhere.
别傻了 卡洛琳 你哪都去不了
Okay, well, we have to talk about our taxes
那我们也得谈谈我们小店的税务
and what we're gonna claim,
以及我们要索回哪些税款
and, no, you cannot claim I'm ruining your life.
还有 你不能表示[索款]我毁了你人生
Why? I did that last year and got $10 back.
为啥 我去年这么做还拿回了10块钱呢
2:00 A.M., closing time. Let's go.
半夜2点 关门时间到 走吧
It's only 12:30.
才12点半好吗
Nice try, Max. Come on, let's leave early.
麦克斯 想得真美 别这样 早点走嘛
I'm more exhausted than my bra.
我比我的胸罩还累
Whoa, good, you're still open.
太好了 你们还没关门
My fiancee wants a cupcake,
我的未婚妻想吃小蛋糕
and she always gets what she wants.
她心一想 事就得成
Hi.
你们好
I mean, I really want a house in the Hamptons,
我也很想要在度假胜地有小别墅
but I'll take a cupcake.
但是来一个小蛋糕也行啦
I'm nothing like that sounded.
我其实不是我话中的那种人
Don't apologize.
不用道歉
I'm everything like that sounded.
我完全就是你话中的那种人
Oh, I'll be right back, babe.
宝贝 我马上回来
There's a homeless guy building a shopping bag house
有个流浪汉正用购物袋在我的保时
捷上
around the porsche.
盖他的窝呢
Too bad. That homeless guy almost had a front porsche.
可惜了 流浪汉差点就有前保时捷阳台了
He hates this neighborhood.
他很讨厌这一带
So you've been held up at gunpoint one or two times?
他也不过就是被人拿枪威胁过一两回嘛
It's like, grow a pair, right?
带种一点 你们说是吧
So what are you eating?
你想要吃什么口味呢
Um, chocolate.
巧克力味吧
But, wait, now I'm thinking red velvet.
等等 我想还是红丝绒吧
Tim put my ring in one when he proposed.
蒂姆求婚的时候把戒指放红丝绒里了
Oh, he proposed with one of our cupcakes?
他用我们的小蛋糕求婚的吗
That's so sweet.
真是太浪漫了
Yeah, it was.
是啊
I mean, it was like a whole thing because I swallowed it,
如果我没把戒指吞下去 一切都很完美
but, once it passed,
但在"屎落戒出"之后
really so pretty.
戒指的确很美
I gave him a 20 to move to that Mini Cooper
我给了20块让他移去迷你库柏边
instead of our car.
别在我们车边筑巢了
Remind me to start calling Han "Mini Cooper."
记得提醒我下次叫阿憨"迷你库柏"
Babe, I've been thinking.
宝贝 我在想...
Uh oh. That's never good.
惨了 这下不妙了
No, it's great, babe. Listen.
宝贝 很妙的 听我说
So, since you proposed to me with one of their cupcakes,
既然你是用她们的小蛋糕跟我求婚的
I was thinking that these girls should do our wedding cake.
我在想 那就让她们包办结婚蛋糕吧
But, babe, we already ordered a wedding cake.
但宝贝 我们已经订了结婚蛋糕了
$1,300. Remember, babe?
一千三呢 还记得吗 宝贝
I know, but, babe.
我知道 可是宝贝
They said babe less in the movie Babe.
电影《小猪宝贝》里都没说这么多次"宝贝"
So do you guys do wedding cakes?
你们这里承办婚礼蛋糕吗
No. Yes.
不做 做
I don't. She does.
我不会做 她会做
She's the baker, and, yes,
她才是烘焙师
we do tons of wedding cakes.
而我们这里也常承办结婚蛋糕
Gay weddings, straight weddings.
同性恋结婚蛋糕 异性恋结婚蛋糕
Bed wettings.
尿床[结婚]
Claire, you do whatever you want,
克雷儿 你怎么高兴怎么来
but I'm gonna wait in the car.
但我要先上车等了
I just can't do the cake stuff again, babe.
我承受不了再搞一次蛋糕的事 宝贝
He doesn't want to do the cake stuff.
他不想搞蛋糕的事
Well, I don't want to do the butt stuff.
我还不想"搞屁♥眼"的事呢
You know what I mean?
你懂我意思吧
No. Yes.
不懂 懂
Why don't you come in and we can talk about it?
要不你进来我们里面慢慢谈吧
Enter through the diner. Okay.
从旁边餐厅进来 好
See you guys in a sec.
等会见
What is wrong with you?
你脑子有病啊
I told you I didn't want any more white girls in the shop.
我不是说过店里不许再有更多白人蠢妞了吗
And since when do we do wedding cakes?
而且我们什么时候开始做结婚蛋糕了
Since that guy said $1,300.
从她男人说一千三的时候
You can do this, Max. You went to pastry school.
麦克斯 你能行 你都上过烘焙学校了
I also went to high school,
我也去上过高中啊
美国男演员 曾在电影中饰演过一名虚拟的总统
but I can't tell you which president Rock Hudson was.
但我也不知道洛克·哈德森演的是哪个总统
I don't do wedding cakes.
我不做结婚蛋糕
Okay, I know this may not be the best time for you
好啦 我知道由于你最近刚分手
to make your first wedding cake because of your recent breakup.
所以让你做第一个结婚蛋糕 有点不合时宜
Oh, it's not about Deke.
跟迪克无关好吗
If you remember, I'm the one who sent his 'fro out the door.
你忘了扫爆炸头男出门的正是小女子了吗
Weddings are just stupid.
婚礼蠢爆了
This whole idea of celebrating love?
这件庆祝爱情的蠢事
I mean, love works out less than Chris Christie.
拜托 爱情比克里斯·克里斯帝还狗屁不通
他于2009年当选美国新泽西州州长
Right through here.
走过这扇门
There you go, miss.
小姐 就是这里啦
Thanks.
谢谢
Did you want something else?
你还有事吗
I'll take whatever I can get.
能有什么我全要了
Okay, we're done.
好了 没你的事了
You're lucky. This morning, a cannoli shell
你很幸运了 今天早上 中间充满奶油的柱状食物
pressed sexual harassment charges against him.
一个奶油甜馅煎饼卷告他性骚扰呢
Oh, my God, you guys.
天啊 两位
Your shop is so adorbs.
你们的店超口爱啊
I'm Claire, by the way.
对了 我叫克雷儿
I owned a store on Bedford Ave.
我在贝德福德大道有家店
A dress shop called "Get the frock out."
是一家女装店 叫"女装逼就滚"
Oh, I remember that place.
我记得那家店
Wasn't it right next to the hair salon,
是不是就在一家叫
"Unbeweavable""
编发不思议"的美发店旁
Yeah, yeah, between "Unbeweavable"
是啊 就在"编发不思议"
and the kosher smoothie place
跟一家犹太净食的奶昔店中间
called "The wandering juice."
奶昔店是叫"流浪犹太汁"
I love their menorah nge juice.
我很喜欢他们的犹太烛台橙汁
传说中 一名犹太人曾在耶稣上十字架前对耶稣不敬 后被诅咒流浪天涯海角 直到耶稣再临
Yeah, you know, it was always my dream to have a dress shop.
我一直梦想着有天开家女装店
But then after a year hardly anyone was coming in,
但开了一年 生意一直很差
and I was like, maybe I should get the frock out.
然后我就想 也许该"滚"的人是我
So I bailed. I totally get it.
所以我放弃了 我完全懂
Our first shop failed, but we got up,
我们第一间店也倒了 但我们爬起来
dusted ourselves off
拍掉身上的灰
Well, Max went on a four day bender,
麦克斯则是连续四天喝得醉醺醺
but I found her and dusted her off,
但我还是找到了她 替她拍拍灰
Then we started again.
然后我们东山再起
Yeah, good thing you downloaded the "Find your drunk roommate" App.
多亏你去下♥载了"寻找醉酒室友"手机软件
Oh, so you guys kept going, even though you failed?
所以你们虽然失败了 却还是没放弃吗
Why? Don't you have boyfriends?
为啥 你们没有男朋友吗
So when are you two getting married?
所以你们什么哪天结婚
Oh, in three days.
三天后
Three days? You're so calm.
三天后 你好淡定啊
Yeah, well, I was in the plane that crashed in the hudson,
09年 客机迫降哈德逊河 我就在机上
so after that everything's just kind of been "meh."
在那次事情后 我什么都不怕不怕啦
So do you know what kind of cake you want?
所以你知道要哪种蛋糕了吗
Absolutely. Something traditional,
当然 要传统一点
something very old school, you know, very romantic,
比较老派一点 就是比较浪漫
But, wait, now I'm thinking
等等 现在我在想
You guys are so cool,
你们俩都这么酷
what if we did something with a weird hipster Williamsburg vibe?
要不我们做有威廉斯堡嬉皮士风的怪蛋糕
So you want an obnoxious cake on a trust fund
所以你要个坐拥信托基金
wearing an ironic t shirt with HPV?
穿着嘲讽T恤 讨人厌到爆的蛋糕吗
But, wait, now I'm thinking pastels for spring.
等等 我现在又在想柔和的春天风
Oh, but, wait, now I'm thinking,
再等等 我现在又在想
colors. I love clowns.
色彩缤纷 我喜欢小丑
Wow, she changes her mind more than I change my underwear.
她改变想法的次数比我换
内衣裤还多
So twice?
所以就两次吗
Sophie, on your tax form here,
苏菲 在你的报税单上
you listed your occupation as "Sophie."
你写了你的职业是"苏菲"
Yeah, it's a full time job, baby.
是啊 这可是个全职工作 宝贝
And who claims $5,000 worth of mascara?
还有 谁会要退五千块钱的睫毛膏税金啊
It's a business deduction for my cleaning business.
这是我清洁生意的公司营运费用
I give it out to all the underage girls from Poland as treats.
那是我给我的波兰未成年女工的奖励
Just because you're scrubbing toilets
虽然她们手边刷着马桶
doesn't mean your eyes can't pop.
但不代表她们的眼睛就不能美啊
Do you have any legitimate anything
你有任何正当的东西
that we can use for anything?
是可拿来用在任何事上的吗
Here's a big receipt.
这有张数目大的发票
$2,500 for stolichnaya.
两千五的伏特加
You can't write off liquor.
酒品不能抵税
No, Irina Stolichnaya.
是伊莲娜·芙特佳啦
Yeah, she waxes my eyebrows.
她是帮我修眉毛的
And my downstairs eyebrows.
以及我"下面的眉毛"
Okay, well, there's no line on this form
这表格上没有地方是给
for downstairs eyebrows,"
下面的眉毛"的
so I'm just gonna list it as home office.
所以我就写入家庭办公室吧
Yeah, well, I do work out of it.
我的确是靠"它"办了不少公
Caroline, where's Max?
卡洛琳 麦克斯呢
As much as I enjoy a two hour break
虽然我很享受两个小时
from being called a tiny woman,
不用被叫为"小女人"的时光
She's supposed to be working.
但她不能不干活啊
Max, how's the cake going?
麦克斯 蛋糕如何了
That bride's a mess.
那新娘就是个疯婆子
She changed her mind while she was changing her mind.
她在改变主意的过程中又改变了主意
Not the good stuff on the top shelf!
别用上层柜子的好货啊
Oh, you can't reach it anyway, Mini Cooper.
反正你平常也拿不到 迷你库柏
Joke's on her. I have a collapsible ladder.
她傻♥逼了吧 哥有折叠梯
Oh, hi, Claire. Max is working on it right now.
你好 克雷儿 麦克斯正在做呢
Oh, you've been thinking?
你又有在想吗
Caroline, can I get anything for a panty liner?
卡洛琳 卫生巾钱能抵税吗
I'm on the phone with Claire.
我正在跟克雷儿[清楚]通电话
You mean un Claire?
你是说脑子不清楚那位吗
She wants to make a couple changes.
她想要做几个改变
What should I tell her? Tell her I hate her.
我该怎么回她 告诉她我恨她
No, you know what, I'll tell her.
不用 这样吧 我来告诉她
I love to tell people things. Give me the phone.
我喜欢告诉别人事情 电话给我
Max, I beg you. $1,300.
麦克斯 我求你了 一千三呢
Oh, my God. She is so crazy.
天啊 她太神经病了
I should just make a giant cake
我应该直接做个超大的蛋糕
and have a psychiatrist pop out of it.
让一个精神科医生从里面跳出来
Give me the phone.
电话给我
Hey, Claire, babe. What's happening, babe?
克雷儿宝贝 怎么啦 宝贝
Max, I've been thinking,
麦克斯 我在想
And I know I said I didn't want the fondant frosting,
我知道我说过不要翻糖糖霜
but now I just saw a photo of another wedding cake
但是我刚才看到另一个结婚蛋糕的图
that was so gorge.
翻糖蛋糕美翻了
And I started thinking...
所以我就在想...
Uh huh. Sure. No problem.
行 没问题
So then we can do the fondant?
所以我们可以做翻糖吗
Yes, definitely fondant.
当然 绝对翻糖
Perfect. Bye. Love you.
太好了 再见 爱你哟
Love you too.
我也爱你
Max, I know you worked hard,
麦克斯 我知道你费了很多功夫
and you're probably upset about having to change it.
也知道你心里听到要修改会很不爽
I'm sensing a lot of hostility
我感觉到了浓厚的杀气
that has nothing to do with that couple
而这杀气跟那对新人无关
and may be more about you
反而是跟你与某位
and a certain groom that didn't happen.
有缘无分的新郎比较有关
What, you can't light a couple's head on fire
什么 难道把一对新人的头烧了
without it being about your ex boyfriend?
就一定得是跟前男友有关吗
Max, I know you're sad about it.
麦克斯 我知道你很伤心
I heard you crying last night.
我昨晚都听到你哭了
That was you crying.
哭的人是你
Well, someone was crying.
好吧 反正某人哭了
Oh, my God. Max. It's beautiful.
天啊 麦克斯 太漂亮了
You did an amazing job.
你做得真是太出色了
That's quite a cake cake cake.
这蛋糕真是赞赞赞
Calm down. I made a cake. I didn't fold a fitted sheet.
淡定 我不过是做了个蛋糕 又不是折好床单
Ooh, and I like the new bride and groom.
我喜欢这对新的新郎和新娘
By the way, I fished the other ones out of the garbage
对了 我把垃圾堆那那对拿出来了
in case we ever get a burn victim wedding.
以防下次会接到烧伤患者婚礼的订单
Okay, I got the extra icing. Let's go.
我把备用的糖霜拿上了 走吧
Now grab it with two hands
我们要用双手抓着
and lift with your knees.
然后用膝盖顶起来
Oh, is that how you think it should go?
你觉得应该这么弄过去吗
'cause I was gonna grab it with my head
我本来还打算一头栽进去
and lift it with my face.
用我的脸顶着走呢
Got it. Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定 搞定
Ooh. Oh, wait.
等一下
Got it. Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定 搞定
Got it. Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定 搞定
Grease puddle. Got it.
地上有油 搞定
Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定
Roach. Got it.
蟑螂 搞定
Bedford avenue.
贝德福德大道
Got it. Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定 搞定
Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定
Watch the doors.
注意开关门
Max, this is so heavy. I know.
麦克斯 这太[沉]重了 我知道
We're two grown women who can't afford a taxi.
我们俩成年人 居然打不起车
Oh, there's a seat over there. We can put this down.
那边有个座 我们可以把蛋糕放下了
Got it. Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定 搞定
I blame science.
我怪科学
People shouldn't be living this long.
没事干嘛让人活这么久
Max, I need a break. Me too.
麦克斯 我需要休息 我也是
Maybe just like two weeks apart.
或许休息个两周
Like, no phone calls, nothing.
没电话 没你 与世隔绝
I mean the cake.
我是说抬不动蛋糕啦
And you love me.
而且你是爱我的
Other side. Less crowded.
去那边吧 那边人少
Oh, this guy can't see. Just our luck.
这家伙看不见 真倒霉
To the left, sir.
往左走 先生
Other left!
是你的左边啦
Oh, what, is everybody blind now?
搞毛啊 现在流行瞎子吗
who are you even dancing for?
你们跳舞给谁看啊
Everyone's blind.
整个车厢都是瞎子
Got it. Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定 搞定
Losing it. Losing it.
没力了 没力了
Holding it. Holding it. Losing it.
坚持住 坚持住 没力了
Second wind. Got it. Got it.
恢复元气 搞定 搞定
First Avenue. First Avenue station.
第一大道 第一大道站到了
There, there. Put it down.
那边那边 快放下来
Max, I think we got it.
麦克斯 我们应该是搞定了
Don't got it.
完全没搞定
Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it.
搞定 搞定 搞定 搞定
Got it.
搞定了
This cake looks perfect. You would never know.
这蛋糕看起来完美无缺 谁都看不出来
That's why I'm fond of the fondant. Covers everything.
所以我才喜欢用翻糖 它能遮盖一切
We'll be long gone by the time they realize
等他们意识到这蛋糕是一半蛋糕
it's half cake half styrofoam from the Radio Shack garbage.
一半无线电器材公司的泡沫塑料时 我们早走了
Hi. I'm the wedding planner/ my own funeral planner
你们好 我是这场婚礼兼自己葬礼的策划人
'cause it ain't going great.
因为我快要被这场婚礼搞死了
You the cake girls?
你们是蛋糕妹吗
You think just 'cause we're two girls
你觉得因为我们俩都是女的
with a giant cake we're the cake girls?
而且还站在一个大蛋糕旁边 就是蛋糕妹了吗
You think 'cause I'm fake smiling
你觉得因为我在假笑
I won't throw you down a flight of stairs?
我就不会把你们踢飞出去了吗
You do that? Do you have a card?
你会这么做吗 麻烦给我你的名片
Sorry. We had a rough morning getting this here.
抱歉 我们早上历尽千辛万苦才把蛋糕弄来这里
You? She changed the menu again.
就你们辛苦吗 她又把菜单改了
I spent the whole morning making 17 turkeys look
我为了那个疯婆子 花了一个早上的时间
like 17 hams for that crazy bitch.
想办法让17只火鸡看起来像17只火腿
Oh, come on, that's a little har
拜托 这么说有点过吧
What? She won't come out of her room?
什么 她不愿意出房门
The bride has cold feet.
新娘临阵退缩了
That crazy bitch.
那个疯婆子
Here's a crazy idea.
我有个疯狂的主意
How about the check for the cake?
不如先把蛋糕钱付了
All right, I'm gonna tell you two what I told
我把之前跟"自己做冰棒"那家伙说的话
the make your own popsicle guy.
再跟你们复述一遍
Nobody gets paid until the bride walks down the aisle.
新娘没走上红毯前 谁也拿不到一分钱
Nobody.
谁都别想
There's gonna be popsicles?
婚礼上会有冰棒吗
She's not that crazy.
看来她没那么疯嘛
So what are we gonna do now?
我们现在该怎么办
Let's go. Max, we can't go.
走吧 麦克斯 我们不能走
We need this money.
我们需要这笔钱
We also need a shower curtain that doesn't give us rashes.
我们还需要一个不会传染皮疹的浴帘
But, wait, we really need this cake money.
等一下 我们真的很需要这笔钱
We also really need a toilet
我们也真的很需要一个
that flushes everything the first time.
冲一次就能冲干净的马桶
While you were doing the cake, I was doing our taxes.
你在做蛋糕的时候 我在算我们的纳税额
And we owe Uncle Sam $1,500.
我们欠山姆大叔[美国政♥府]一千五
Man, why does every Uncle I know try to screw me?
靠 为啥我认识的每个大叔都想"搞"死我
So what are we gonna do?
所以我们该怎么办
You heard that woman
你也听到那女人怎么说了
nobody gets paid until the bride walks down the aisle.
新娘没走上红毯前 谁也拿不到一分钱
Nobody.
包括我们自己
Knock knock. There's the gorgeous bride.
我们进来啦 原来明艳照人的新娘在这里
Your dress is beautiful.
你的婚纱真美
It's a beautiful dress to get married in
穿着这么美的婚纱就应该
right now in the next room.
立刻去隔壁房间结婚
No, I hate it. I'm taking it off.
我不喜欢 我要脱掉
I'm not wearing this dress
我不会穿这套婚纱
or that one or that one.
更不会穿那套 或是那套
Because I'm thinking marriage is stupid.
因为我在想 婚姻是愚蠢的
So stupid. Max .
太愚蠢了 麦克斯
Stupid beautiful, and everyone should do it.
既愚蠢又美丽 人人都应该这样做
Nope. It's not for me.
不 不适合我
林赛·罗韩在现实生活中 曾多次被狗仔队拍到裙下没穿内♥裤
Like underwear.
就像内♥裤
Oh, you'll feel fine
你会没事的
as soon as you get back in this dress.
只要你穿回这套婚纱
Or that dress or that dress.
或是穿上那套 或那套
Okay, I feel like you guys are forcing me into this dress.
我感觉你们在逼我穿上婚纱
That's ridiculous.
才没有
Forcing you into a dress for money?
我们怎么可能为了钱逼你穿婚纱
Now where's that freaking veil?
那该死的头纱呢
Nope, not that one.
不是这个
This was just a backup veil.
这是备用头纱
You can't even see my face.
会完全挡住我的脸
It was in case I got herpes.
是以防我长疱疹准备的
You know how it is.
你们也知道长疱疹有多可怕
Yeah. No.
我知道 不知道
Anyways, I'm thinking... What,
总而言之 我在想... 想什么
like seven different things all resulting in us not getting paid?
七件能导致我们一分钱都拿不到的事情吗
Listen, I'm thinking
听着 我在想
that maybe I bailed out of my shop too soon.
或许我太早放弃了我的服装店
I mean, I left after only a year.
我才开了一年就不干了
Why? 'cause I was just scared?
难道就因为害怕吗
Well, everybody's afraid of failure.
人人都会害怕失败
No, not failure.
不 不是失败
There was a gang shooting in front of my dress shop.
有一群黑帮在我服装店门口枪战
I had to bury two mannequins.
害我不得不埋了两个家人模特
For future reference, just draw a teardrop on your face,
给你个建议供以后参考 在脸上画颗泪珠
脸上画/纹泪珠常见于杀过人 或失去过好兄弟的罪犯 几颗泪珠代表失去/杀过的人数
and they'll move it to Banana Republic.
他们就会把战场挪到香蕉共和国
Well, I mean, it wasn't easy for you guys, right?
我是说 对你们来说开店也不容易
But you hung in there,
但你们没有放弃
and now you have this big, successful cake business.
所以现在才拥有一个成功的大蛋糕店
We lied. It's terrible.
我们撒谎了 生意很糟糕
We're losers. Get married.
我们是废柴 快去结婚吧
Claire, the only thing harder than building a business
克雷儿 唯一比开店还难的就是
is finding love.
寻找真爱
Look at her. She just lost someone she loves,
你看她 刚刚跟心爱的人分手
and quite frankly she doesn't think
老实说连她自己都觉得
it's ever gonna happen for her again.
这辈子不会再遇见这么合适的人了
I mean, none of us do.
其实我们大伙都这么想
Not even Han?
连阿憨也是吗
No, he's the one who brought it up.
是啊 就是他开始提起这事的
Claire, who knows you better than us?
克雷儿 有谁比我们更了解你呢
You're getting married.
你得结婚
You're right. I should get married.
你说得对 我是该结婚
But not to Tim. What?
但不是嫁给蒂姆 什么
You guys will tell him for me, right?
你们会帮我转告他的 对吗
Tell him I'm no good. Tell him I'm sorry.
告诉他我配不上他 是我对不起他
You know what, tell him whatever you want.
算了 你们想怎么说就怎么说
You guys decide. I'm easy.
你们决定好了 我很随和的
You know what she's not? Easy.
她随和个屁 最难搞就是她
You heard that woman
你也听到那女人怎么说了
nobody gets paid until the bride walks down the aisle.
新娘没走上红毯前 谁也拿不到一分钱
Now, remember, don't lift this veil
在策划人把支票给我前
until the party planner hands me that check.
记得千万不要把头纱撩起来
Why don't you have to wear the dress?
为什么不是你穿婚纱
You're practically a virgin.
你基本上就是个适合嫁人的纯洁处女
Max, somebody has to walk down the aisle, and I can't do it.
麦克斯 必须有人穿婚纱走
红毯 而我不行
Marriage means something to me,
婚姻对我是有意义的
and I only plan to walk down that aisle once.
而且我这辈子只打算走一次红毯[过道]
You also said that about the yeast infection aisle at CVS,
你在药店卖宫颈感染药的过道也这么说过
but there you were last Saturday
但上周六你又去了
pretending to buy children's cough syrup.
还假装是买儿童止咳糖浆
Let's go.
走吧
Wait, Max.
等等我 麦克斯
Max, wait, wait!
麦克斯 等等
Wait, Max!!
等等我 麦克斯
Now just walk down the aisle like it's your special day.
走红毯时要像今天就是你的大日子一样
Go. The bride never talks to the cake lady.
退下 新娘才不会跟蛋糕妹说话
People are like, "Who's that?"
人们会问"那是谁呀"
If you think they're like, "who's that?" now,
如果你觉得他们现在在想"那是谁"
wait a few minutes till that veil gets lifted.
等会你头纱掀起时 他们会更有那感觉的
Can't believe it. She's actually walking down that aisle.
难以置信 她居然真的走上红毯了
Yup, that's totally her walking down the aisle.
是呀 走红毯那个绝对是她
So the check, you can hand it to me now.
所以你现在可以把支票给我了
You look stunning, babe.
你真美 宝贝
Come on, come on, come on.
快点 快点
I'll just take whatever check's on top.
直接给我最上面那张就行了
Babe, babe, wait.
宝贝 宝贝 慢着
Now I'm thinking I do want to get married.
现在我想结婚了
Babe, if you're there, who is...
宝贝 如果你在那 那这是谁
'Sup?
你好呀
Babe, I know I said I didn't want any kids,
宝贝 之前我说不想要小孩
but now I'm thinking four.
但现在我想要四个
Babe, you should have said that before the vasectomy.
宝贝 这话你应该在我结扎之前说的
You can always reverse it.
你可以解除的嘛
Again.
你不早说
So you're the father, huh?
你是新人的父亲吗
And you stuck around.
而你居然没抛妻弃子
That's an interesting way to play it.
你这么做也挺有意思的
Okay, I got the check. We can leave.
我拿到支票了 我们可以走了
Not now. I'm doing the father daughter dance.
现在不行 我们在跳父女舞呢
May I cut in?
介意换人吗
Oh, no, with her.
我是要跟她跳
If you're trying to hook up with me,
如果你想泡我
you're a little late.
那抱歉你来晚了
That dad just slipped me his room key.
那位爸爸刚把房间钥匙偷塞给我了
You really do make a lovely bride.
你当新娘的样子真可爱
Oh, thanks. You know I have one
多谢 你知道我把
Of those ham turkeys in my underwear, right?
一只火腿火鸡塞到我内♥裤里了 对吧
Oh, I thought you were just happy to see me.
我还以为你的爽样是因为看到我呢
This is nice.
这感觉真好
And that cake really is beautiful.
那个蛋糕真的很漂亮
Thanks.
谢谢
Wish I could have showed it to...
真希望可以给...
Deke.
迪克看
Yeah.
是啊
So are you really okay?
你真的没事吗
I know you loved him.
我知道你很爱他
I did, which is the worst
我是爱他 这样才惨
because it made me feel almost like a person.
因为会让我感觉更像个有血有肉的人
Max, Caroline, hi.
麦克斯 卡洛琳 你们好
I just wanted to say thank you for everything.
我想感谢你们为我做的一切
And I was watching you guys dance together,
我刚看见你们俩一起跳舞
and now I'm thinking I might be into girls.
现在我在想 或许我开始喜欢女人了
Can I call you?
我可以打给你吗
Yes. No.
可以 不行
Great.
太好了
What do you mean the bottom of the cake says Radio Shack?
你说什么 蛋糕下面写着无
线电器材公司
That's our cue.
我们该走了
Wait, wait, I haven't thrown the bouquet yet.
等等 我还没抛手捧花呢
Hey, single ladies.
各位单身妹子
Here we go.
准备好了
One, two,
一 二
Three.
三
Hey, cake girls.
蛋糕妹
Styrofoam?
泡沫塑料
It's gluten free.
那个不含麸质哦