圣帕克里特节的狂欢

Happy St. Patrick's day.
圣帕特里克节快乐
Guinness and Irish cream cupcakes for everyone!
送大家黑啤与爱尔兰奶油口味小蛋糕
Enjoy your blackout!
祝你们醉得开心
These are the last 12 cupcakes.
这是最后12个小蛋糕了
Actually, two of them are just potatoes from the diner.
其实其中两个是餐厅拿来的土豆
At some point I started
我做累了开始偷懒
putting green icing on anything I could find.
把糖霜加在任何能拿来充数的东西上
Max, we haven't been so busy since someone
麦克斯 打从上次有人
spray painted free sex stuff on the wall outside.
在外墙上喷"免♥费送炮"后 就没这么忙过了
And you said I'm not good at marketing.
瞧你还说我不懂推销
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
圣帕特里克节快乐
Bridget, Patrick, John, Mary,
布里姬特 派崔克 小强 玛丽
And you, the little one, come over here.
还有你 最小的 过来
We're here to pick up our order.
我们来拿订好的小蛋糕
Huh. Should be here to pick up birth control.
应该订避孕药才是吧
Coming right up.
马上来
Max, I know I told you I hated St. Patrick's Day
麦克斯 我说过我很讨厌圣帕特里克节
because the only people who go out are drunk trash
因为会上街庆祝的人都是醉鬼废柴
We prefer to be called "Intoxicated garbage."
请叫我们"喝茫废物"好吗
But that was before I knew that drunk trash carried cash.
但那是因为我不知道醉鬼废柴都会带现金
Nobody gonna pinch me today, 'cause I got all this green.
满手绿油油的钞票 今天我最大
Oh, money's involved,
一捞到钱
and all of a sudden you're Erin go Bragh?
你就立刻喊"爱尔兰万岁"了吗
Or in your case, "Erin go training bra"?
或者你应该是"小咪♥咪万岁"
Who wants cupcakes?
谁想吃小蛋糕啊
It was so worth being open this morning.
今早开店做生意真是太值了
We can use this St. Patrick's Day money
有了这笔圣帕特里克节外快
to spring for some new pillows.
我们的新枕头有着落了
Or even just pillows.
应该说是枕头有着落了
Or just go to a bar and fall asleep on a couple of fat guys.
也可以去酒吧里醉倒在几个肥男身上啊
Okay, how much did we make? Show me the money.
我们今天赚了多少 钱亮给姐看看
$351!
351块
Show me the rest of the money.
把其余的钱也亮给姐看看
Fine, I took $3.
好吧 我私藏了3块
That's it?
就这么多吗
Fine, I took 5.
好啦 我拿了5块
Can't a bitch get a foot long?
屌♥丝吃个赛百味不行啊
But we worked so hard.
我们都这么卖命了
I have so much green under my fingernails
我指甲底下都弄得全绿了
It looks like I had really good sex with Shrek.
看起来像我跟史莱克"爽"过了呢
What other kind could you have with him?
跟他除了爽 还能有别种感觉吗
Green guys make black guys look like white guys.
绿人让黑人"那里"看起来像白人的好吗
I love St. Patrick's Day.
我爱死圣帕特里克节了
Tell me one good thing about it.
跟我说一个这节日的好处
Top o' the mornin'!
早上可好[爱尔兰俚语]
Look, it's a lepre Han.
你看 是小憨精
爱尔兰传说中 小妖精会在彩虹的尽头藏黄金 想抓到小妖精 绿色衣物与三叶草最吸引他
So what do you think?
你们觉得如何
I'm concerned. If you're out here,
我挺担心的 你人在这里
who's guarding your lucky charms?
那你的麦片谁看守啊
美国某牌早餐麦片的图案 正是小妖精守着他的麦片[黄金]
You laugh now, and probably all night long,
你现在取笑我 或取笑我整晚
but with this costume,
但小爷这身服装
my chances of getting laid are higher than ever.
能让我泡妹上床的成功率达到最高点啊
So zero?0%
的几率吗
Nope, 100%.
不 是百分之百
What makes you so confident?
你哪里来的自信
'Cause the only answer I can think of right now
我唯一能想到让你自信的理由是
is that you have cocaine in your wee pocket.
你的裤袋里有可卡因能钓毒妹
Hey, I can see it.
我能理解呢
You're out drunk on St. Patrick's Day,
女人在圣帕特里克节喝到酩酊大醉
and it seems like a good idea to bang a leprechaun.
跟小矮妖打一炮感觉也挺不错啊
Like the President's day I hooked up with a guy
就跟总统纪念日的时候 我跟一个
dressed like Uncle Sam at the used car lot.
穿着美国山姆大叔服的男人搞上了
This costume is my ace in the hole.
这套衣服是我的杀手锏
Well, it does make you look like an ace hole.
的确是让你看起来像个傻屁精
Nice outfit, Han.
阿憨 衣服不错啊
You look like a pimp I used to use in Vietnam.
很像我在越南时找的一个皮条客
Come on, let's hit the parade.
走吧 参加节日游♥行去
Look, Oleg, this is America.
奥列格 这里可是美国
You could have an accent or a suspicious package,
你可以有口音 也可以有可疑的包包
but you can't have both.
但两者合一可不行[恐♥怖♥分♥子]
Relax. It's just my inventory.
别紧张 只是我的货而已
I'm gonna sell T shirts.
我要去卖T恤
亲我 我[下面]是爱尔兰人
节日中很常说到的话 有亲爱尔兰人得到好运的习俗
That is revolting.
真让人受不了
Put me down for five.
我要订五件
You might also be interested in my other choice product.
你可能也会对另一个产品有兴趣
其实最早是亲位于爱尔兰的"巧言石" 能得到"口若悬河"般的能力
Pee funnels.
嘘嘘斗
I might also not be interested in that product.
我也可能对这产品没兴趣
It's a disposable funnel for upwardly mobile, elegant,
这个抛弃式的尿斗是给想像个爷们一样
young ladies who want to stand
在街上站着撒尿的
and pee in the street like a man.
上流 优雅 年轻女性使用
I mean, have you seen those parade port a potties?
你们也都见识过游♥行时的移动公厕吧
Seen 'em? I was conceived in one.
何止见识过 我在里面出生的呢
Just slip one of these babies into your pants
把我这产品塞入裤子里
and go pee in the park, no muss, no fuss.
去公园里爱咋尿就咋尿 轻松没负担
Well, a little muss, some fuss.
其实有些小麻烦与小负担
And possibly a very unpleasant paper cut.
并可能有十分恼人的被纸割伤问题
That's revolting.
真让人受不了
Put me down for five.
我要订个五个
Better make it six, 'cause if it's for ladies,
算了 六个吧 如果是女性产品
Han's definitely gonna need one.
阿憨肯定也需要一个
Max, barhopping with a horny leprechaun
我们跟发♥情期的小矮精与嘘嘘斗销售员
and a pee funnel salesman?
去各酒吧喝酒真的好吗
Not exactly my scene.
太掉我的价了
Can't you just go with Deke?
你就不能跟迪克一起出去吗
This is boyfriend stuff, meaning he's gross like you.
这种事就应该跟男友去 因为他跟你
一样无下限
位于美国科罗拉多州的滑雪胜地
I know, but he's snowboarding somewhere called Vail
是啊 可是他在个叫韦尔的地方滑雪
with something called a family.
跟一帮所谓"家人"的人一起滑
Here, we gotta lay down a layer of grease
给 我们得先在肚子里垫油脂
to absorb all the booze we'll be drinking tonight.
帮助我们吸收今晚喝下去的酒精
This'll hold us over till our 3:00 A.M. street meet,
这能帮我们撑到半夜三点大伙碰面的时候
which'll hold us over till our
然后我们就能挨到
noon 30 rooty tooty fresh and fruity breakfast.
中午过后去吃水果松饼培根蛋早饭
Come on, start layering.
来吧 开始垫胃吧
I miss my old St. Patrick's Day tradition.
我想念我以前过这节日的传统
Wanna hear it? Hell, no.
想听吗 当然不想
Well, from 16 to 21, my friends and I
在我16岁到21岁的那几年 我跟我朋友
boys were there too,
也有男生哦
even though technically they weren't allowed
虽然按道理是不允许他们来的
By 16, I was thrice divorced
姐16岁时 已离过三次婚
and a member of the electricians' union, but go on.
而且还是电工协会的一员了 你继续说吧
We'd rent a big suite at The Plaza overlooking the parade,
我们在广场酒店订了大房间从上
面看游♥行
and we'd fill balloons with champagne and
然后我们用香槟灌满气球
and throw them down at the parade crowd!
砸楼下的游♥行群众
So fun, right?
超好玩 对吧
Oh, wait, that was you guys?
等等 原来那是你们啊
One year you hit me and my friend Archie.
有一年你们砸到了我跟我朋友 阿齐
He sells car seat covers in Rhode Island now.
他现在在罗得岛卖汽车座套
He's doing pretty well.
过得还挺不错
Max, why are you dragging ass
麦克斯 你为什么要在
on the night I'm supposed to get some?
我能骗到炮的夜晚拖拖拉拉呢
Stop talking about sex wearing that body.
能别用小孩的身躯说性事吗
It's gross.
感觉好恶心
We've been stuck in traffic for, like, an hour.
我们堵在车阵里有一个小时了吧
I could've had 37 Guinnesses by now.
本来这时候我都喝完37瓶吉尼斯黑啤了
And broken the Guinness World Record for most Guinnesses.
并打破吉尼斯世界纪录之喝最多吉尼斯黑啤
Is this cab even moving?
这台出租车有在动吗
Is that a new McDonald's or the same one?
这是另一家麦当劳 还是同一家
It's the same one,
就是同一家
unless that bum's on a masturbation tour of Manhattan.
除非门口那个打飞机的流浪汉在做巡回演出
Come on! Make 'em move! Hit the horn again!
开啊 让他们让路 再按喇叭
If you touch my horn again, I cut your hand off!
再按我的喇叭 我就砍了你的手
Okay, big shot.
行啊 你牛逼
Do it. Do it, if it'll get us there faster.
砍啊 砍吧 能让我们快点到你就砍吧
Look, I know I said I'd spring for a cab, but it's $70!
我知道我说过会出车钱 但这都70块了
And I'm gonna need that for a junior king room
这钱我还得拿去租快捷酒店的
at the Holiday Inn express!
小孩大床房呢
Don't worry, Han, we'll chip in.
阿憨别担心 我们也会出
No, we won't. We need that $356.
我们才不出 那356块花不得
That's all we made today.
我们今天就赚了这些
It has to last till we're 82.
这笔钱得坚持到我们82岁呢
This is our funeral money, Max.
那是我们的棺材本啊 麦克斯
Don't worry, we'll make more money.
不用担心 钱再赚就有嘛
Not much more, but a little bit.
大钱没有 小钱还是有的
Damn it!
我靠
I can hear the bagpipers coming this way.
我能听到风笛手往这方向来了
They're playing Closing Time.
他们在吹打烊曲了
That means the parade's over.
表示游♥行结束了
Now I'm never gonna sell the pee funnels.
这样我永远没机会卖掉嘘嘘斗了
All right, I gotta move some T shirts.
好了 我得赶紧卖掉些T恤
Heads up, peoples!
走过路过不要错过
"Kiss me I'm Irish" crotch tees. $15."
亲我 我是爱尔兰人"胯下T恤 只要15块
Or two for 25! Five for 60!
或两件25 五件60
You nobody!
你个死穷逼
You can't sell those out the window.
你不能挂窗外卖东西
That's illegal. You need a permit!
这是违法的 得有许可证才行
Just drive, grandma.
开你的车就行了 老太婆
I can't believe you call yourself Russian.
俄罗斯人还自称战斗种族
Doesn't seem like you're rushin' anywhere.
也不见你杀出一条血路啊
You say that again, and I'll cut your tongue out!
你再敢说一遍 我就把你舌头割了
Oh, now you're gonna cut out my tongue?
现在又要割我舌头了吗
Why do you want to punish all the women in the tri state area?
你为何要让三角洲一带的女性失去"快乐泉源"呢
Look, oh, my God, it's Earl!
你看 天啊 是厄尔
Earl, what're you doing here?
厄尔 你在那里面干嘛
Hey, y'all!
你们好啊
This is my bagpipe group Black Irish.
这是我的风笛团体"黑爱尔兰人"
黑[发]爱尔兰人指的是头发为深色 肤色也较深的爱尔兰人
I'm black, they're Irish.
我个黑人加他们爱尔兰人
Why didn't you tell us you were coming to the parade?
你怎么没跟我们说你会来游♥行
Well, I kinda like to keep my skirt wearing on the D.L.
我穿裙子的事我想"深藏柜中"嘛
When did you learn how to play bagpipes?
你什么时候学会吹风笛的啊
I do not know.
我也不知道
I took too much acid once, and, when the trip ended,
有一次我嗑药嗑多了 等那趟旅行结束后
I could play the bagpipes and drive a stick.
我发现我学会吹风笛跟开手动档的车了
I'll catch up with you at Blarney's.
我们之后在布拉尼[巧言石]酒吧见吧
Han, pay the man.
阿憨 付钱吧
It's ten blocks away. We can walk.
十个街区而已 我们能走过去
In these shoes? In these shoes?
穿这鞋走吗 穿这鞋走吗
Ugh, green beer.
绿啤酒
Is this really how we honor the Irish,
用绿啤酒来向这个拥有过
some of our greatest writers and poets?
许多伟大作家与诗人的国度致敬合适吗
Oh, did they come up with,
是他们想出来的
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle,"
尿尿如果抖了抖
be a sweetie, wipe the seatie"?
乖乖擦擦小便斗"吗
First of all, not a real poem.
首先 这不是真的诗
And as the person who shares your bathroom,
而我作为一个跟你共用厕所的人
maybe take that advice.
建议你身体力行那首诗
Maybe take that frown and get it drunk.
你就甩开烦恼 大口喝酒吧
Okay, sure, we're two young girls on the town
行啊 我们两个年轻貌美的姑娘
on what's probably America's most dangerous holiday.
参与美国最不安全的节日的庆典
Why why have our wits about us?
我们干嘛要"保持警惕"呢
That's the spirit.
就是这精神
And who knows? Maybe you'll meet a cute, Irish guy.
而且说不定你能碰上爱尔兰帅哥呢
Happy St. Paddy's Day!
圣帕特里克节快乐
Blarney Bill.
布拉尼·比尔
Are you the owner of this colorful establishment?
这间色彩缤纷的酒吧是你的吗
I'm not even the owner of these pants.
我身上穿着的裤子都不是我的
Where's me kiss?
我的亲亲在哪里
Blarney Bill is like the mascot of this place.
布拉尼·比尔就像是这店的吉祥物
Every year I kiss him for good luck.
每年我都让他亲求好运
And when does that luck kick in?
那些好运什么时候会到位呢
Where's me kiss?
我的亲亲在哪里
I left it in me other purse?
在我没带来的那个包包里
Wow. That's a wet moustache.
那胡子还真湿啊
Scotch and fish.
威士忌与鱼
What?
什么
That's why it's wet!
所以才湿啊
Man, he's the best.
他最棒了
The best what?
他哪里最棒了
Hey, girls!
姑娘们
Sold my last shirt.
连最后一件T恤都卖掉了
Hey, told you that small would fit.
都说你穿小号就行
Look at Han at that table with all those...
你看阿憨在那桌跟那帮...
I want to say "girls..."
我想说是"妞们"吗
Waiting to take pictures with him.
排队想跟他合照
Mm, Becca!
贝卡
Be Becca!
贝卡
Over here.
这边
Oh, no, you're not Becca.
不 你不是贝卡
Hey, though.
不过... 你好吗
Oh, my God, you look so much like my friend Becca.
天啊 你跟我朋友贝卡真是长得好像
Are you guys in line to take pictures with the leprechaun?
你们也是在排队想跟小妖精拍照吗
No. $5.
不是 收费5块
Wait, what?
你说什么
Ah, yes, we are the leprechaun's Mcagent and Mcmanager.
没错 我们是小矮妖的经纪大人与管理大人
It'll be $5 to take a selfie with the leprechaun.
跟小矮妖玩自♥拍收费5块
That is a great deal.
太划算了
Max, I am not doing this. Fine.
麦克斯 我不做这种生意 好啊
Then we'll have to use the cupcake money for our cab home.
那我们唯有拿小蛋糕的钱打
车回家了
Okay, that there is virgin leprechaun.
好吧 那可是只处♥男小矮妖
So it's $10.
所以起步价是10块
10 for a picture, 15 for a kiss, nothing below the waist.
一张照10块 亲一口15块 不许碰腰部以下
That's 'cause there's nothing below the waist.
因为腰部以下也没"东西"了
Will you take a 20?
我只有一张20块
I mean, I guess.
也行啦
Just so you know, if you're an orphan, I'm interested.
如果你是孤儿 我会对你很感性趣哟
Are you over here making money off of me,
我什么时候成了你们的摇钱树
you wolves of Wall Street?
你们两只华尔街之狼
We're just taking advantage of drunk people.
我们只是趁机占占酒鬼的便宜而已
It's a St. Paddy's tradition,
这可是这节日的传统
like corned beef or punching a cop.
就像吃咸牛肉和打警察
Well, then maybe you can get them to take advantage of me.
那你可以让女酒鬼们也占占
我的便宜吗
Get a little handsy on Hansy.
对"小小憨"毛手毛脚
I've got my eye on that buxom paralegal.
我看上了那个丰满的律师助理
The one over there who brought in outside chicken?
那个自带鸡肉来酒吧的女人吗
Hook daddy up!
快帮老子牵线
So I'm going up to the woman
你要我去拜托那个
who brought her own two liter of coke to a bar
自带两升装可乐来酒吧的抠门女
to ask her for money to touch you.
掏钱来对你毛手毛脚吗
That's the gist.
说到点子上了
What's happened to my life? Where am I?
我的生活到底怎么了 我堕落到哪里了
Blarney's!
布拉尼酒吧
Oh, God, it's Blarney Bill.
天啊 布拉尼·比尔又来了
Hey, that's my name!
你在叫我吗
Where's me kiss?
我的亲亲在哪里
Oh, well, I
我...
I have to go to the ladies' room
我要去厕所
and wash whatever is on my mouth and in my mouth
把我嘴上的异味和嘴里的异物
off my mouth and out of my mouth.
通通弄干净
We've been in this line so long, now I actually have to pee.
等厕所等了这么久 害得我都想尿尿了
Max, are you eating chicken?
麦克斯 你是在吃鸡肉吗
She didn't have 10 bucks to tickle Han,
抠门女没钱逗阿憨
so she paid me in purse chicken.
所以她用自带的鸡肉付账
I think I came out ahead.
我觉得我还赚到了呢
Uh, sorry, back of the line. No cuts.
不好意思 去后面排队 不要插队
Please. I'm feeling sick.
拜托 我好难受
Sorry, no cuts, no buts, no coconuts.
不准插队 没有可是 不要废话
Is that one of those famous Irish poems too?
那也是爱尔兰的名诗之一吗
I totally understand. Yeah, I get it.
我完全明白 我知道了
Just let her cut. It's St. Patrick's Day.
你就让她插队嘛 现在可是过节
She's having fun.
不要扫人家的兴
Not to bring up my St. Patrick's Day tradition at The Plaza...
我不是故意要提我在广场酒店
过节的传统
Oh, good.
又来了
But it was so much better than this place.
但那里比这地方好太多太多了
I mean, there were no lines.
比如那里上厕所不用排队
We'd sit like non animals in the Palm Court and sip bellinis.
我们优雅地坐在棕榈阁餐厅 浅酌鸡尾酒
I'm taking you to palm court
如果你再提那个故事
if you tell that story one more time.
我就要带你去棕榈法院[阁]了
Guys.
两位
I just threw up.
我刚吐了
And you're carrying it around like a baby chick?
你还小心翼翼像捧小鸡一样端过来吗
I I think I'm gonna need some water.
我需要漱漱口 洗把脸
I have to drive a school bus in four hours.
因为四小时后我得开校车去接小孩
You're a great American.
你真是个伟大的美国人
I know what I am.
我知道我是
Where's me kiss?
我的亲亲在哪里
Uh, she has it.
在她那里
Dodged a bullet.
躲过一劫
Bullet found ya.
在劫难逃
Come on. I have to find another bathroom.
快点 我得找别的厕所
I'm not peeing anywhere near Blarney Bill.
我要去一个没有布拉尼·比尔的地方尿尿
I don't want him to find "me kiss"
我不想在我脱下裤子时
when I have me pants down.
问我他的亲亲在哪里
I gave him your number. Is that cool?
我把你的电话告诉他了 没关系吧
Oh, no. I don't think I'm gonna make it.
天啊 我觉得我撑不过去[厕所]了
You mean in life? Yeah, me neither.
你说生命吗 我也撑不下了
No, it's all that green beer.
都怪那个绿色的啤酒
And if I wet myself here on 53rd Street,,
如果我在53街尿裤子
I'll be forced to abandon you, move to the Midwest,
那我就一定得丢下你 搬去中西部
and start a new life.
重新开始我的人生了
I have a bathroom you can use.
我有个厕所你可以用
I'm sorry, there's some chicken in it.
抱歉 里面还有一点鸡肉
I've hit some very low points today,
我今天已经掉到人生很低谷了
but I'm not about to pee through a paper penis in public.
但我绝不要在公众场所用纸鸡鸡尿尿
Here, quick, just pop a squat over here behind the float,
给 麻利点 去彩车后面撒这个里面
I'll block you so no one'll see,
我帮你挡着 保证没人看见
and the 15 high school marching bands'll15
支高中游♥行乐队也会帮忙
mask the sound of you hitting rock bottom.
掩盖掉你人生中最没下限的声音
Gimme that thing.
把那玩意给我
Damn it, Max. Damn it!
我恨死你了 麦克斯
How do I do this?
我该怎么做
Well, I do have my master's in public urination from Devry.
姐可是拥有公共场所随地小便的硕士学位
Just unzip, put it in your pants,
拉开拉链 放进裤裆
and let a river run through it.
让那一江尿水向下流吧
No one's looking, right?
没人在看我 对吧
Nope.
没人看啦
Hi, Caroline.
你好啊 卡洛琳
Sophie, you were in the parade?
苏菲 你也参加游♥行啦
Of course I was.
当然啦
You can't be a volunteer firefighter
不去参加游♥行
without being in the parade.
怎么能带志愿消防员呢
You're a volunteer firefighter?
你是一名志愿消防员吗
Well, I do go down to the station voluntarily.
我的确是自愿去的消防站
Besides, every fire station needs a Pole,
再说了 每个消防站都需要一个波兰人[滑杆]
and I'm it, baby.
不就是我嘛 宝贝
Anyway, we're all going to Blarney's.
我们都要去布拉尼酒吧
Shots on me.
烈酒我请客
And by that I mean shots on me.
我的是指"请射我身上"[请烈酒]
Come on.
走吧
When the firemen's Pole offers you drinks, you say yes.
消防员的波兰杆说请你喝酒 你一
定要去
Max, I am not going back in there.
麦克斯 打死我也不进去了
drink at The Plaza.
其实呢 我要请你去广场酒店喝酒
You know that money we were saving for our funeral?
我之前说我们留着办葬礼的棺材本
That's no longer an issue because I just died right then.
已经成为过去 因为我刚才丢脸"死"了
Rest in pee, Caroline.
尿息吧 卡洛琳
Look, Max, our bellinis.
麦克斯 我们的鸡尾酒来了
Thank you, Claude.
谢谢 克劳德
He's a Plaza institution.
他是这酒店的名人
And I just remembered his name is Rolph.
我刚想起来他的名字是欧图
You forgot the name Rolph
你居然忘记欧图这名字
after we just saw a girl do that in her Hands?
我们不是才看见一个妞手里捧着"呕吐"物吗
Isn't it lovely here?
这里很好吧
Less Blarney's, more Barney's.
少一分嘈杂 多一分高贵
And trust me, these bellinis are famous.
相信我 这里的鸡尾酒很出名
Why? Did they make a sex tape?
为什么 它们有拍性♥爱影片吗
Ooh, kind of tastes like the time
味道有点像那次我把
I put canned peaches in my boxed wine.
罐头黄桃放进我的盒装葡萄酒
Max, a Plaza bellini is a far cry from boxed wine.
麦克斯 这两者有云泥之别好吗
Well, my rule is, if I have to refrigerate it, it's fancy.
我的原则是一旦冷藏过 就是高档货
据说将没电的电池拿去冷藏 可以重新恢复使用一阵 或者可以让电池较为耐久
I'm talkin' to you, batteries.
说你呢 电池
You know, tonight is really bringing up
今晚真是让我
how much I miss the old me.
无比怀念过去的我
Yeah, tonight is really bringing up
是啊 今晚真是让我
How much I miss my friend Archie.
无比怀念我的朋友阿齐
Who?
谁
The guy you hit with the champagne balloons.
被你用香槟气球砸过的那个人
Sells car seat covers in Rhode Island.
在罗得岛卖汽车座套
You know how I said he was doing really well?
你还记得我说他过得很好吗
Truth is I haven't talked to him in a year.
其实我有一年没跟他说话了
Really dropped the ball.
我真是犯了个大错
And the most exciting thing about this place
这地方最让人兴奋的一点是
those elevator doors can open,
那些电梯门随时会打开
and you never know who's gonna step off.
你永远也不知道会是谁走出来
Max, this is nice.
麦克斯 感觉真好
Max, this is boring. What happened?
麦克斯 好无聊啊 怎么搞的
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
没得搞 啥搞头都没有
Now I'm thinking maybe this wasn't
现在我开始怀疑或许
as much fun as I thought it was.
这里没我想得那么好玩
Now I'm thinking Archie's dead.
现在我开始怀疑阿齐死了
'cause I feel like I got a text about it and ignored it.
因为我好像收到过通知短信 但被我无视了
Even this bellini doesn't taste as good.
就连这鸡尾酒都没以前好喝了
I knew it, my taste buds must have committed suicide
我就知道 我的味蕾早在我吃了第一块
after my first 7 11 sushi.
廉价寿司后就自杀了
I mean, nothing is the same.
一切都不一样了
Why did I think this was fun?
我以前怎么会觉得这里好玩呢
Because before you met me, you didn't know what fun was.
因为在你遇见我之前 你根本
不知道什么叫好玩
I get your point, Max,
我懂你的意思 麦克斯
But I did own a Caribbean Island with six jet skis.
但我以前拥有一座加勒比海小岛 和六
辆水上摩托车
Oh, come on, get over it.
拜托 忘掉过去吧
Drink up. It's not that bad.
干杯 现在也没那么惨
Can you just let me feel sad?
你就不能让我自怨自艾一下吗
No!
不行
Not on St. Patrick's Day.
至少在圣帕特里克节不行
You have a good time,
你要好好享乐
and you don't think about your problems.
不要再想不开心的事情
That girl who threw up in her hands,
那个吐在手里的女孩
she didn't sit around saying, "eh, meh, my life sucks."
她也没有坐在那里抱怨 "我的人生糟透了"
No, she threw her hands in the air,
她举起双手 用力一甩
hit a lot of people with the vomit,
把呕吐物砸向大家
and kept the party going.
然后继续派对
Yeah, the party was all over everybody's shoes.
是啊 她的"派对"都沾在大家的鞋上了
Look, it doesn't matter that this is literally
听着 虽然这地方是我这辈子
the stupidest place I've ever been in my whole frickin' life.
去过最傻♥逼最做作的地方
Let's get another $40 Roberto Benigni
但我们再点一杯40块的名导鸡尾酒
bellinis是贝里尼鸡尾酒 而Roberto Benigni罗伯托·贝尼尼是名导演
and keep our party going.
继续我们的派对吧
Come on, let's go. There's no party here.
算了 走吧 这里没有派对
There may be a $3 million bat mitzvah happening upstairs,
或许楼上花费三百万的犹太成
人礼有派对
but there's no party here.
但咱们这里绝对没有
But I do know where there is one.
但我知道哪里会有
We'll just take the check, Rolph.
麻烦结账 欧图
And I just remembered his name is Dennis.
我突然又想起来他应该叫丹尼斯
Max, I'm sorry if I rained on your parade today.
麦克斯 抱歉在你过节的时候倒苦水
Well, peed on it.
好吧 是尿
Don't worry about it.
别担心
Everything that means something to me gets peed on.
一切对我来说有意义的东西 都会
被尿
Hey, girls! I heard you left!
姑娘们 听说你们走了
You missed me winning the hula hooping contest.
你们错过我赢得呼啦圈大赛那一刻
When did you learn how to hula hoop?
你什么时候学会扭呼啦圈了
Once again, I do not know.
再说一遍 我不知道
You're still rocking the bagpipe ensemble.
你这身风笛手服还是很好看啊
I thought you wanted to keep
你不是说你穿裙子的事
your skirt wearing on the low low.
想要保持低调 "深锁柜中"吗
That was before I discovered the sensation
在我感受到我裙底的风"笛"与风"囊"
of a cool breeze circling my bag and my pipe.
被凉风吹过的爽快♥感后 我就无所谓了
Hey! Max, Caroline!
麦克斯 卡洛琳
Excuse me, move it. Move it. Move it.
不好意思 借过 借过
Hey, move it. Wanna break my big ass clover?
让开 想弄坏老娘超大的三叶草吗
Girls, where did you go?
姑娘们 你们去哪里了
We went to The Plaza, and I realized my life
我们去了广场酒店 然后我发现
may actually be richer now than when I was rich.
心灵的富有比金钱更让我感到富有
Oh, no. Is it too late to walk away?
不是吧 已经来不及抽身了吗
Can you girls loan me some cash?
你们俩能借我点现金吗
I met a girl, and I need money for the bus
我泡到了一个女孩 我从她姐姐在
back from her sister's condo in Jersey city.
新泽西的公寓回来时 需要一点公车费
She said we've got to be quiet, but I make no promises.
她说不能太大声 我说这我可不能保证
Sure. I gotcha, Han. What do you need, a 20?
我支持你 阿憨 你需要多少 20块吗
Oh, what the hell? Take 50. We can always make more.
管它的 拿50块去吧 钱还可以再赚
Or not.
或赚不到了
Look at you throwing the cash around.
瞧你撒钱的样子
You know, girl, there might be hope for you yet.
美女 人生路上说不定还有希望呢
Jeanine, I'm good to go.
珍宁 我准备好啦
Told you, girls. 100%.
我就跟你们说了 百分之百
Looks like they're both gonna get unlucky tonight.
看来今晚他们俩都要"不爽"一发了
Hey, Max, Caroline, over here!
麦克斯 卡洛琳 这边
I save ya a couple of seats.
我帮你们留了位置
And a couple of firemen.
还留了几个消防员
Uh, there's no place to sit.
没有位置坐啊
Oh, you are so green.
你真是太嫩了
'Sup?
你好
Happy st. Paddy's day! Where's me kiss?
圣帕特里克节快乐 我的亲亲在哪里
Scotch and fish!
威士忌与鱼啊