演员之梦

Get the birthday candle ready, 'cause...
把生日蜡烛准备好 因为...
here comes Chestnut's carrot cake!
栗宝的胡萝卜蛋糕要登场啦
I know we want this to be special,
我知道要给他庆祝这特别的日子
but Chestnut is a horse.
但栗宝是只马
Any day he's not being made into an Ikea meatball
每个他没被做成宜家肉丸的日子
is a birthday.
都是过生日
And remember, even though it's his tenth birthday,
记得 虽然今年是他十岁生日
we have to pretend he's six
但得假装是六岁生日哦
or he'll be in a bad mood all week.
不然他一整周都会很不爽的
Surprise!
惊喜
Happy birthday, Chestnut!
栗宝生日快乐
Max! He was supposed to do that!
麦克斯 蜡烛应该是他来吹
What? I know what he wished for.
有啥关系 我知道他的愿望
That one day, he and I live in a world
有一天 我们能生活在一个
where our love is recognized
我们的爱能获得认同
and we have the same rights as gay couples.
并像其他同性恋夫妻享受同等权利的世界
There you go, baby.
快吃吧 宝贝
Hey, look, his shoe just fell off.
你看 他的鞋掉了
Or maybe he kicked it off
有可能是他踢掉鞋子
cause he's getting ready to partay.
准备好来一场疯狂派对啦'
What are we gonna do?
这可怎么办啊
We don't have any money.
我们没有钱了
I wanted a massage last week,
我上周想要做按♥摩
so I just sat next to someone on the bus
所以我坐公车时 就坐在一个
who looked like he'd touch me.
看起来会乱摸我的人旁边
I may have an idea how we can get 'em.
我可能办法帮他换新鞋
A guy I picked up at Oktoberfest is a blacksmith.
我在慕尼黑啤酒节钓的男人是个铁匠
At least I think he was.
我认为他是啦
I remember a leather apron
我记得有皮围裙
and something being heated in a fire.
然后有个烧红的"铁棒"之类的
Well, I found my blacksmith.
我找到那个铁匠啦
He now shares an artisan barn
他现在跟用蜜蜂做衣服的
with a lady who makes clothing out of bees.
一个女人合开一家工匠铺
I guess that's why our cupcake shop didn't work.
现在我知道为什么我们小蛋糕店倒闭了
We weren't providing a service that everyone needs.
我们没有提供大众"需要"的服务
I looked at our boy,
我看了看栗宝
and not only does Chestnut need four new shoes,
他不只需要新的四只鞋子
He has a hoof fungus.
他还有香港蹄
A hoof fungus? That's so ghetto.
香港蹄 好贫民区风啊
I'm pretty sure he got it from me
我很确定是我害的
because we shower together.
我们一起洗澡时传染的吧
And the cost of new shoes and vet fee? $1,400.
新马蹄加兽医费用总计要一千四
Max, I feel awful.
麦克斯 我好惭愧
I'm a bad mother.
我是个坏母亲
You're not a bad mother.
你才不是呢
I know bad mothers. I came out of one.
我是坏母亲生出来的 所以我特了解
Ladies, what's happening over there?
姑娘们 那边是怎么回事
You know a gathering of more than two white people
我一看到有超过两个白人在一起
makes me nervous.
我就心惊肉跳
Earl, one of them's asian.
厄尔 其中一个是亚洲人啊
Ah, same thing.
都一样啦
Who would I talk to about the diner?
这餐厅谁是管事的
We're interested in renting this location
我们有兴趣想租下这地方
to film a TV show.
来拍电视剧
We think your diner would be a great place to kill someone.
我们觉得这餐厅超适合当杀人现场
I get it.
我懂
Cause every time I come in here, I die a little.
每次走进这餐厅 我内心都死去一部分'
Here's my card.
这是我的名片
tom Woo, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
汤姆·吴 《法律与秩序 特殊受害者》剧组
Shut your face, tom Woo!
我勒个去 汤姆·吴
I love all the Law & Orders, especially SVU.
我爱死这剧了 尤其是《特殊受害者》系列
Their stories are ripped from the headlines,
因为故事都是从新闻头条翻拍的
and I don't read the newspaper,
我这人从不看报纸
so that's where I get all my news.
所以你们就是我的新闻台啊
Cool. Let me go get the director.
很好 我去叫导演
That's him over there.
就是那边那位
Look how cute the director is.
你看那导演多可爱
He's my rugged guy type.
他符合我的粗犷男型呢
Not really rugged at all,
也不是真粗汉子
but buys expensive, ruggedlooking clothing
只是从萨克斯第五大道精品百货里
from Saks 5th Avenue.
买♥粗犷型名贵衣服的男人
Hi. DJ Kingsley.
你好 我是迪杰·金斯利
Nice beard.
胡子挺帅
You grow out that stubble
是自己长的呢
or just set your razor to "Jason Statham."
还是把剃须刀设置到"霸气男星"模式了
Excuse me, sir.
打扰一下 先生
You've got a great face.
你的相貌很出色
Have you ever done any extra work?
您有当临演的经验吗
Well, I was in the 1973 classic
我出演过1973年经♥典电影
Scream, blacula, scream.
《尖叫吧 博古拉》
Pam grier kicked me in the nuts
女主演在电影中踹了我蛋蛋
and called me a "jive turkey."
然后骂我是"装逼男"
If you'd consider it,
希望您愿意考虑一下
I'd love to have your look in the episode.
我很乐意看到这集里有您出现
Hey, what about me?
那我呢
You can shave my head, drag me behind a car,
你可以要我剃光头 拖我到车后
or anything else I've already done for free.
或做任何我让人免♥费做过的事
Sure. And you must be an actress.
没问题 而你想必是个女演员吧
You're way too pretty to just be a waitress.
你太美 不可能只是个服务员
Thank you!
谢谢夸奖
In fact I have done a little acting.
其实我是有过一点表演经验啦
In high school, I portrayed Fantine in Les Miserables.
高中的时候 我扮演过《悲惨世界》里的芳汀
Just hearing you say that makes me "Miserobble."
听你那么念就让我觉得好"悲催"了
Well, how about it?
怎么样呢
You wanna hang with me
想跟我一起玩
and be an extra on Special Victims Unit?
然后在《特殊受害人》里当临演吗
It pays 112 a day
付你112块一天
plus whatever you normally make in tips.
再加上你每天应挣得的小费
Oh, so about 115? I'm in.
那就是112加3块 我愿意
Mama needs a new pair of horseshoes.
老娘要买♥新的"马鞋"啦
So where's the boss?
那你们的话事人呢
I'm the boss, but I'll get the guy who owns the place.
我就是话事人 但我去叫这地方的店主来吧
Oleg!
奥列格
They're shooting a TV show here,
他们要在这里拍电视剧
And the back of my head or the side of my boob
我的后脑勺或者我的侧乳
is gonna be in it!
会入镜呢
Good for you, Max.
恭喜你啊 麦克斯
I was on Ukraine's version of big brother once,
我曾经上过乌克兰版《老大哥》
注释：《老大哥》让数对年轻男女 住进充满摄影机与麦克风的房子里进行社交生存游戏的节目
better known as just living in Ukraine.
其实就是乌克兰的每日生活
Han! Law and order: Special Victims Unit
阿憨 《法律与秩序 特殊受害人》
wants to shoot in the diner, and if you don't say yes,
想来餐厅里拍摄 如果你不同意
you'll be my special victim when I cut your unit off.
我就会剁了你的"特殊受害鸡"
Please say yes, Han.
求你答应了 阿憨
They're gonna pay us to be in the background.
我们当当背景路人甲就有钱拿呢
But do you know how to act?
但你们会演戏吗
Actually we do.
我们还真会呢
My acting's method, whereas hers is more meth head.
我懂"方法演技" 她懂"冰♥毒演技"[音似]
注释：方法演技 令演员完全融入角色中的表演方式
Hey, come in.
进来吧
And remember,
记得
if he says no, he doesn't mean it.
如果他拒绝 完全是口是心非
He just wants you to flirt with him a little bit.
他只是希望你能多挑逗挑逗他
Not so fast, Max.
话别说太早 麦克斯
Hello, I'm Han Lee, the owner and proprietor.
我是李憨 这家点的老板与产权所有人
Oh, "proprietor."
还"产权所有人"呢
That's word's bigger than you are.
这五个字写起来比你身长还长[词深度]
What kinda compensation do you want?
你想要多少补偿费用
Whoa, whoa, my asian brother.
哎哟 我的亚洲兄弟
Slow down! Let's enjoy the dance.
别这么直接 咱们慢慢来嘛
We'd like to shoot here.
我们想在这里拍摄
It's got the right amount of funk and skank.
这里的街头与骚气挺合适的
If we do real good in this and get a spinoff,
如果我们演得够好 出衍生剧
that'll be the name of our show
这就会是我们的剧名了吧
Funk and skank.
街妹与骚妹
Okay, but I don't wanna be skank.
好吧 但我不想当骚妹
Oh, clearly I'm skank.
绝对是姐当骚妹好吗
And may I say I'm honored
我想说 我很荣幸
I have such a worthy opponent to barter with.
能跟你这与我旗鼓相当的对手切磋生意
大叔 我们一起来跳舞??? ?? ?? ? ? ???
Dude, I'm from Pasadena.
我是加州帕萨迪纳市长大的
I can't believe this!
我真不敢相信
I never thought I'd be in a TV show
我没想过有一天我能上到一个
where no one was yelling,
并没有一堆人喊着
You are not the father!"
你不是她亲爹"的电视节目"
注释：知名电视节目《莫瑞秀》的单元与生父失联的母亲上节目找出孩子亲爹验DNA
Let's go. Bring in the waitress extras.
来吧 叫服务员临演出来
Ooh, I love these uniforms!
我好喜欢这制服啊
I feel like Brenda from 90210
感觉像《飞越比佛利》里的布兰达
when she was dressed as that '50s waitress at the Peach Pit.
在核桃餐厅里打扮成50年代女服务员的样子
Well, when we're the big stars of funk and skank,
等我们成为巨星"街妹与骚妹"的时候
we won't have to wear any uniforms.
我们就不用穿任何制服了
But wait, aren't funk and skank cops?
等等 "街妹与骚妹"不是警察吗
Uh, no, they're hookers.
不是 她们是妓♥女
How about a compromise?
折衷一下吧
Cops by day, prostitutes by night?
白天是警察 晚上是妓♥女如何
You know, copstitutes.
所谓的警妓合一嘛
Either way, we're New York's finest.
反正这俩行当 我们都是纽约最强的
Okay, everybody, ready! Here we go.
好了 大家准备 开始吧
Look at Earl over there.
你看厄尔
Good luck, Earl!
厄尔 祝你好运
Camera on the door. Scene eight, take one.
镜头对准门口 第八幕 第一次拍摄
And action! Shooter comes in.
开拍 杀手走进来
And cut! Good! Reset.
结束 很好 复位
Earl, that was inspiring.
厄尔 太激励人心了
I hope everyone who sees you goes out and ignores a crime.
希望大家看完后 都能对罪案袖手旁观
It was like that scene was about the cash register guy.
刚才那一幕 感觉你这收银员才是主角
You really brought something extra.
你为这幕戏带来更多内涵
I smell an Emmy.
我有闻到艾美奖的味道哦
Oh, that's weed.
纯粹是大♥麻味而已
Hi. Sorry we haven't gotten to you guys yet.
抱歉 让你们等着我们拍摄了
Why don't you hang out in the office?
你们何不去办公室里休息呢
I hear there's good sushi.
听说里面准备了上好寿司呢
You look pretty.
你看起来好漂亮
I think the director kinda likes me.
导演好像对我有意思呢
Well, I don't know about him, but his penis does.
心我不知道 但他的鸡鸡肯定对你有意思
Okay, camera on the door.
好了 镜头对准门口
Scene eight, take two.
第八幕 第二次拍摄
And action! Shooter comes in.
开拍 杀手进门
Bang! Bang!
呯 呯
Cut!
停
Excuse me, how did you get through?
抱歉 你是怎么进来的
Oh, please.
拜托
I once got through the Berlin wall.
柏林墙老娘都翻过来了
You think two kids with walkietalkies can stop me?
两个拿着无线对讲机的娃能挡得住我吗
Damn, this room's got a sweet spread.
哇靠 这里面也太爽了吧
Free sushi? Uh, yes.
免♥费寿司 必须来
Free dessert? Uh duh.
免♥费点心 废话吗
This is great.
这样太棒了
We've gotta figure out a way to get paid
我们得好好想想怎么才能
to sit around, eat free food, and do nothing more often.
多多免♥费蹭吃 坐着休息 还啥都不干
Oh, I think you cracked that code a long time ago.
这方面你早已是多年老手了吧
Would it be tacky
如果我把寿司
if I packed some sushi in my purse for later?
都藏到我包里留着晚点吃 会丢人吗
Already packed mine, already packed yours.
我早把你那份和我那份藏好了
This is the VIP lounge.
这里就是贵宾休息室
See? The shrimp have already been deturded.
你看 虾子的纱线都被处理过了呢
Oh, hi, girls.
你们在啊 姑娘们
You finally got new uniforms. You look stupid.
你们终于有新制服了 看起来好蠢啊
These are actually from the costume department
我们这身制服可是由人家《法律与秩序》剧组
of a little show called Law & Order: SVU
服装部门所准备的呢
that Max and I are costarring in.
我跟麦克斯在里面客串演出哦
Costars? Honey, please.
还客串呢 宝贝
You two are just extras.
你们俩就临演而已
Um, extra paid and full of purse sushi.
额外酬劳[临演] 外加满包的寿司
They're ready for you two.
准备好等你们上场了
Oh! Be right there.
马上到
Just gonna put my purse in the fridge.
我去把包包放冰箱里就来
Thomas. tom. Tpain. Can we chat?
汤玛斯 汤姆 汤哥 能聊两句吗
What is it, dude?
怎么了 兄弟
Your crew got soy sauce all over my computer.
你们团队的人把酱油撒到我电脑上了
And according to our agreement, you must pay all the damages.
根据我们的协议 你得赔偿所有的损失
How much do you want? $300.
你要多少钱 三百块
It's a piece of crap.
这就一台垃圾电脑
But it was a gift from my father.
这电脑是我爸送我的呢
And you know how important family is in our culture.
我们的文化里 家人的地位你又不是不懂
Again, I don't. I was raised by two white women.
我真不知道 我被一对白人拉拉抚养长大
Yes, uh, who do I talk to about becoming a star?
我想当女主演该跟谁谈呢
This is so exciting!
好兴奋啊
God! That woman keeps pushing my head down.
天啊 那女的一直把我的头往下按
I feel like I'm on a date with her.
就像是我平时的约会对象似的
Okay, so you guys are here behind the counter,
你们俩就待在柜台后
doing your waitress thing.
忙服务员的活儿
Shooter aims for the cook
杀手♥枪口对准厨师
but hits her, our featured waitress.
结果误击到她 也就是女配角
Hey, didn't I already see you on SVU?
我是不是在这个剧里看过你了
Oh, yeah, I remember.
我想起来啦
They found your head in a mini fridge in the Hudson.
他们在哈德逊河里的小冰箱里找到你的头
I knew I recognized you.
我就知道我见过你
Wait, we've already killed you?
等等 你在剧里死过了吗
Sorry, babe, you're out.
抱歉 你不能演了
Well, you gave great head.
你头部的那镜头很不错呢
tom, we gotta bump someone up to the featured waitress.
汤姆 我们得找另一个人来演女配角
Pays 1,000 more bucks.
女配酬劳多一千块呢
Max, that could be the extra money
麦克斯 那多出来的酬劳
we need for Chestnut.
可以给栗宝治病呢
Could one of us do it?
能让我们其中一个当吗
Can either of you act like you've been hit with a bullet?
你们俩有人会演中弹的样子吗
Well, it just so happens
真是无巧不成书
I have been hit by a bullet twice
小女子还真中弹过两次
Once at a 7 eleven and once running away
一次是在一家便利店 而另一次是在
in the parking lot of a 7 eleven.
那家便利店的停车场里中的
So yeah, I think I got this.
所以这肯定是没问题
I'm thinking maybe a blonde would be better.
我觉得金发女孩比较适合这个角色
Caroline?
卡洛琳
Well, I did have a pretty convincing death scene
我以前演到芳汀死亡的时候
as Fantine, and I died like...
还颇为逼真的呢
Well, should I just show you?
要不我演给你看吧
You are such a nerd.
你真是呆爆了
That's great, Caroline.
挺好的 卡洛琳
Special effects,
特效组
put the blood device on Caroline.
帮卡洛琳装上爆血装置
She's our special victim.
她将是我们的"特殊受害者"
Really? I got it?
真的吗 由我演吗
Yes, but a little less "French revolution,"
是的 但记得少一点"法国大革命"元素
and a lot more "face down on the floor."
多一点"乖乖脸朝下当尸体"元素
You can't take a shot. You can't even do a shot.
你哪能演中弹啊 你连灌烈酒都不行[同词]
Don't be mad, Max. I'm doing this for Chestnut.
不要羡慕嫉妒恨好吗 我是为了栗宝
And it's not my fault he liked my death scene.
他喜欢我演死去的方式也不能怪我啊
He liked your death scene with his penis.
他的小弟弟喜欢你的死戏才是真吧
Wow, Max, show business really brings out the worst in you.
麦克斯 演艺事业把你丑恶的一面引出来了
You haven't seen me at a wedding.
你还没看到我参加婚宴时的样子
Hello! You just put your hand
你就这么把手
down a woman's blouse without asking?
伸进女人的衣服 还连问都不问吗
Every day.
天天如此
Well, here. Can I help you?
那需要我帮忙吗
No, it's a union thing.
不行 这是公会规定
Aren't you in there a little long?
你的手在里面有点久啊
Yeah. Let me just...
马上 让我...
Caroline, that special effects rig you're wearing
卡洛琳 你身上的特技效果装置
is very sensitive,
非常敏感
So don't let anything near your chest.Except me.
所以别让任何东西靠近你的胸部 除了我
And don't be nervous.
别紧张
The camera's gonna love you. How could it not?
你一定会非常上镜的 闪闪惹人爱
Dj, stop flirting with me.
讨厌 别老跟人家调情啦
I'm gonna die soon and you'll never get over me.
我很快就会死掉 你永远都会忘不掉我的
Promise you'll die soon?
答应我你很快就会死掉
Max, I'm about to be shot,
麦克斯 我等下会被人用枪打死
and I can't die with bad blood between us.
我可不想死之前还跟你闹不合
We're good. You're living my dream, girl.
我们没事啦 你在帮我圆梦 姐妹
Do me proud. I will.
要让我骄傲哦 我会的
No! Don't hug with it!
不 不要拥抱
Caroline, you set the thing off.
卡洛琳 你触发了装置
We weren't rolling. Really?
我们还没开拍呢 不是吧
That's too bad, because that was gold.
那太可惜了 我刚才演得超棒呢
That's a wrap, everybody. We'll pick it up tomorrow.
先停机吧 各位 明天再接着拍
I'm so sorry. It just went off.
真的很抱歉 它自己就爆掉了
Prettiest screwup all day.
美女出差错很正常
After you get cleaned up,
你清理干净后
why don't we have dinner at my hotel?
要不在我的酒店共进晚餐 如何
Dinner? Yeah, I'd like that.
吃饭吗 当然 乐意之至
Let's say 8:00.
那就八点吧
My assistant will give you the address and my room number.
我的助手会告诉你酒店地址和我的房号
You know, this is exactly how you look in all my dreams
你现在跟我在梦里击毙你时
where I shoot you.
看起来一摸一样
The director just invited me to dinner at his hotel,
那导演刚邀请我去他的酒店吃饭
but it's in his room.
但是在他房间里吃
Do you think he... Yes.
你认为他是不是... 是的
Is that why he... Yes.
所以他才... 没错
Will you come with? Yes.
你会跟我一起去吗 会
Maybe you're wrong.
或许你想错了
Maybe he thought my audition was really...
或许他认为我的表演真的很...
No.
不可能
Caroline, next time, maybe a little less.
卡洛琳 或许下一次不要发挥得这么用力
Now, remember.
记住
This director slips you anything that looks like a Sweet Tart,
如果导演在你的食物酒水里加了糖果状物
it's probably that date rape drug that knocks you out
那肯定就是迷♥奸药 会让你晕倒
and distorts your memory.
然后记忆混乱
Or at least that's what it does to the guys I give it to.
至少被我下药的男人都是这样的
It's never gonna get to that.
事情肯定不会发展到那地步
I have my own date rape drug.
我自己也有独家迷♥奸药
I talk about myself incessantly
我会滔滔不绝地谈论自己
till guys get bored and pass out.
直到男人无聊到倒头大睡
So if that doesn't work, what are your limits?
如果这招不管用 那你的底线在哪里
A little over the sweater, under sweater,
是让人隔着毛衣摸 还是伸手进去摸
a little front door, back door,
拜访下你的"前门" 还是走下你的"后门"
a little secret staircase?
还是爬爬你的"楼梯"
I don't know what that is,
我不知道你在说什么
but no one goes up my staircase,
但没人可以爬我的楼梯
not even for Chestnut.
即便是为了栗宝也不行
At the most, I'll do kissing.
我最多就是给他亲两下
You are thinking like an extra.
你思考的方法就像个临演
You need to think like a star
如果你想挣钱给栗宝买♥鞋子
if you're gonna buy Chestnut shoes,
去治疗 甚至是脱离科学神教
then therapy, then a way out of Scientology.
那你就得用主演的思考方式
Oh, hi. You brought company.
你还找人陪你来了
Yes, she's my ride.
是啊 她是我的交通工具
We share a subway card.
我们共用一张地铁卡
Well, she uses the card.
其实是她用地铁卡
I jump the turnstile and she pretends to chase me,
我跳过验票闸门 然后她假装边追我
yelling "don't worry, I'll get her!"
边大喊"别担心 我会抓住她"
Well, come on in.
进来吧
Stay for a glass of champagne, Max.
喝杯香槟再走 麦克斯
Oh, and don't worry about taking the subway home alone.
别担心要自己一个人坐地铁回家
My driver can take you.
我的司机可以送你回去
Now I'm torn.
我有点进退两难了
Because as much as I don't want you
因为我虽然很不想你被迫
to have sex against your will,
屈服于他的淫♥威之下
I do wanna roll up to the Mcdonald's in a limo.
但我真的很想坐着豪华轿车去买麦当劳
There's no rush.
不着急
Come on, let's sit down and hang out.
过来 我们坐下来聊聊
It was really nice of you to invite me up here
你人真好 邀请我上来
to have a casual, workrelated dinner.
吃一顿普通的工作便饭
Max there, Caroline there,
麦克斯坐这边 卡洛琳坐那边
and me, well, here.
而我则坐中间
Can't turn it off, still directing.
导演总是忍不住发号施令
You know, I love this hotel.
我超爱这个酒店
I came here once to do a photo shoot
我曾经来过一次这里
for a "20 under 20:
为一篇名为"20岁以下的
Teen millionaires to watch" spread,
青少年百万富翁"的专题报道拍照
and I remember I had just gotten my haircut,
我记得当时我刚剪了头发
which was a big decision,
那可是个艰难的决定
cause I was kinda known for my long hair.
因为大家都知道我的招牌长发'
And he wanted to take an inch off,
而拍照那人希望我剪掉一英寸[不满3厘米]
which doesn't sound like a big deal,
虽然听起来没什么大不了的
but when you're known for your long hair...
但当你的长发已经是你的招牌时...
People are expecting to see you with long hair.
人们就会希望看见你时 你的头发是长的
So was that okay?
这样没事吧
Yeah, sure.
当然没事
It it's just Max is here,
只是麦克斯也在
and I don't want her to feel left out.
我不想让她觉得备受冷落
Sorry. Got it.
抱歉 我懂了
That was nice.
真不错
You're a good kisser.
你的接吻技术真不错
Are you eating a cinnamon Altoid?
你在吃肉桂味的薄荷糖吗
I'm eating a cinnamon Altoid.
其实是我在吃
Well, then I just tasted you.
那我间接一吻芳泽啦
Look, DJ, I think you have the wrong idea.
迪杰 我想你可能误会了
Hold that thought.
等我一下
I would never interrupt this for a work call,
如果是工作电♥话 这种时候我绝对不接
but it's my wife and I wanna say "good night" to the kids.
可惜是我老婆打来的 我想跟孩子们说晚安
That guy's a player.
那家伙是个玩咖
I'm not talking my way out of this one.
估计我没办法用说的来解决了
We're screwed. Yeah.
我们完蛋了 是啊
He's got a high tolerance.
他的容忍力真是惊人
Your longhair speech almost roofied me.
你的"长发"大论差点把我弄昏睡了
What do we do, Max? I don't want to offend him.
我们该怎么办 我可不想得罪他
We need that extra money for Chestnut.
我们需要临演的钱给栗宝买♥鞋
This is the oldest tale in the book
这活脱就像书里的老故事
a woman forced to trade her body to get her child shoes.
女人为了给孩子买♥鞋 被迫出卖♥自己的肉体
It's Shakespearian, it's Dickensian,
像莎士比亚和狄更斯的故事那样悲催
It's Kardashian.
像卡戴珊那样卖♥肉
Look at the bright side.
往好的方面想
You already thought he was sexy,
你之前就觉得他很性感
so you were probably gonna sleep with him eventually.
所以你可能最终还是会跟他上床
And now that he's married,
现在知道他是已婚人士
you know he won't cheat on you with somebody else
你就不用担心他会跟其他人偷情
because you're that somebody else.
因为你就是其他人
You a side bitch!
你就是那个小三
No, Max, I can just tell him how I feel.
不行 麦克斯 我可以跟他说实话
Besides, he probably already got it.
再说了 他可能已经理解了
You heard me tell him he read the signs wrong.
你也听到我刚说他误会了
Apparently the sign he read said "Threeway up ahead."
显然他误以为是"3P马上就来"
Pretty good, right?
身材很棒吧
Hit show, wife, kids.
要兼顾热门剧集 老婆 孩子
Still find time to get to the gym.
我居然还有时间去健身
So you guys need to drink a little more before we do this?
在开始之前 你们俩需要多喝点酒吗
cause I don't.
我可是不用哦'
All right, I'm just gonna say this
好吧 在毛巾扯下来之前
before that towel comes off.
我有话要说
I think you've misread the signals here.
我觉得你可能误会了我的意思
Really! That sucks.
是吗 那真扫兴
I'm sorry. These things happen.
抱歉 这种事经常发生
It reminds me of that time I had tea
我想起来有一次我跟
with that prince in Dubai and he thought he bought me.
迪拜的王子喝茶 他就以为他买♥了我了
Turns out he bought a different blonde.
结果他买♥的是另外一位金发妞
Oh, men!
男人呀
Good morning, DJ. Morning!
早上好 迪杰 早上好
See, Max? No hard feelings.
瞧 麦克斯 没有芥蒂
I told you it was gonna work out.
我说过不会有事的
Hi! I'm ready for my fake blood pouch.
我已经准备好安装我的爆血袋了
Um, I think you got the wrong breasts.
我觉得你可能塞错胸部了
But for a rough guy, you got a soft touch.
虽然你人是个大老粗 但动作却很温柔嘛
There's been a change.
人员安排有改动
Uh, Max is now getting featured, and you're in the B.G.
现在麦克斯是女配角 而你是背演
Background.
背景演员
These are real? Yep.
这是真材实料吗 是的
Nice job.
不错嘛
You hear that, Max? Now I'm in the B.G.
你听到了吗 麦克斯 现在我是背景演员
I didn't do DJ, so I'm in the B.G.
我没有上迪杰 所以就滚去背景
Max!
麦克斯
We have time for one full take before lunch,
在午餐前 我们有时间实拍一次
then we'll come back and do the rest of your coverage after.
午餐后我们会回来 继续拍你那部分
Hey, maybe you and I could have a little lunch together
或许我们可以在我的休息拖车里
in my trailer.
共进午餐
Well, I do love a trailer.
我确实很爱拖车
Okay, let's stay on schedule, people.
好的 各位 按计划执行
My kid's reading a poem at school.
我的孩子在学校读诗歌呢
By the way, your rack looks fantastic.
对了 你的奶♥子看起来真棒
You seem like a great dad.
你看起来真是个好爸爸
DJ, is this about last night,
迪杰 是因为昨晚
cause I wouldn't wear a towel?
我不愿意只裹一条浴巾的关系吗'
No. No, we're good.
当然不是 我们没事
I don't wanna see that. Bury her deep.
我不想看到她 把她丢去最角落
Bury her deep"?
把她丢去最角落""
Did he just say, "bury her deep"?
他刚才是说"把她丢去最角落"吗
Caroline, you need to work back there.
卡洛琳 你得去那边工作
Is this how Hollywood treats women?
好莱坞就这么对待女人的吗
This is how Hollywood treats everyone.
好莱坞对每个人都这样
Everybody ready.
各就各位
Max, if you do this, you'll be getting paid for sex.
麦克斯 如果你这么做 你就等于在卖♥肉
Well, it's about time.
也是时候了
Places, everyone.
各就各位
You don't have to do this. Chestnut is my horse.
你不必这样做 栗宝是我的马
And action! Max, you're wiping the counter.
开拍 麦克斯 你在擦桌子
The killer comes in. You look up.
杀手走了进来 你抬头看
Don't do it.
别这样
We can find money somewhere else.
我们可以想别的法子挣钱
Cut! tom, I don't wanna see her.
停 汤姆 我不想看见她
Caroline. Here they come.
卡洛琳 他们来了
Come on, everybody. Back to one.
好了 各位 重新开始
And action! Max, you're wiping the counter.
开拍 麦克斯 你在擦桌子
The killer comes in. You look up.
杀手走了进来 你抬头看
Pick up!
上菜
Max, seriously, it's not worth it.
麦克斯 真的 这不值得
Cut! Get her out of there.
停 把她弄出去
Reset, reset.
重新调整下
Sorry about all that, people.
各位 真是不好意思
Now, let's give me the bullet
现在请赐给我那颗
I've been waiting for my whole life.
我等了一生的子弹吧
I haven't felt this unwanted since I tried to
我很久没觉得自己这么不受人待见了
teach those innercity school kids how to knit.
上一次还是在我教贫民窟小孩织毛衣的时候
Seriously, Caroline, you have to stay here,
卡洛琳 你得待在这里
away from the shot,
远离镜头
or neither of you is gonna be paid.
不然到最后你们谁都挣不着钱
Hey, tom, you know what this scene needs?
汤姆 你知道戏里还缺点什么吗
A little more cashier.
收银员
Oy, that crew is doing a lot of damage to this diner.
那群剧组人员把餐厅糟蹋得乱七八糟
Well, I'm doing some damage to this fancy french water.
我现在在糟蹋这瓶高级纯净水
for the floor, 20 for the napkins they used,
地板要赔150块 用掉的餐巾要付20块150
And...
还有...
And 55 bucks for that gorgeous picture of the city.
那幅美丽的"城市掠影"要赔55块
This is ridiculous.
这真是太荒谬了
How much longer do I have to wait to be discovered?
我还要等多久才能被发掘
Do what every other American would do
像其他美国人那样
skip the hard work and put out a sex tape.
无需苦干 只需把自己的性♥爱录像放上网就行
No, I'm gonna go out there. Where's my lipstick?
我要出去了 我的唇膏呢
Here, hold my shake weight.
来 帮拿下我的瘦身哑铃
And my Fresca.
还有我的饮料
Oh, hi.
你好
Who do I talk to about getting a part in this thing?
我要找谁才能参演这部戏
I mean, I already let the guy
我已经让发饼干的人
who puts out the cookies touch my boobs.
摸过我的胸部了
We don't have a guy who puts out cookies.
我们没有人负责发饼干
Yo.
在这呢
Okay, everybody ready! Camera up!
好了 各就各位 摄像机准备
Oh, he looks important. Oh, no, no!
他看起来是号人物 别过去
Stop, stop! No! Let go!
站住 不 放手
Not the blood switch! 498 麦克斯中枪了Someone shot Max!
别按到血液袋爆破开关
Cut! tom, get rid of Max too.
停 汤姆 把麦克斯换掉
Get me another girl.
再给我找个女演员
Typical!
典型的臭男人
Shoot on my chest and you're done with me.
往我胸部"射"完一发后 就立刻把我甩掉
Hi, you looking for a new girl?
你好 你是要找新的女演员吗
Last time I looked like this,
我上一次被搞成这样的时候
I was coming out of an acid trip
还是我从吸毒迷幻派对中醒来
and my friend Daniel was missing.
我的朋友丹尼尔却不见了
I gotta admit,
不得不承认
getting shot felt kinda gangsta waitress.
中枪会让人觉得自己是黑帮服务员
I'm like notorious BLT.
我就像个餐馆大姐头
So here's the deal.
事情是这样的
We'll pay you for the day yesterday,
我们会付给你昨天的费用
but not for today or for the featured extra.
但不会付今天和女配角的费用
Say what? Not so fast, my brother.
你说什么 话别说太早 兄弟
Here is the latest tally for my diner damage.
这是我餐厅损失的最新账单
What's this last $1,000 charge?
最后那一千块钱是怎么回事
That is for the damage done to Max and Caroline.
那是给麦克斯和卡洛琳的精神损失费
According to crew scuttlebutt,
根据剧组传闻说
the director tried some funny business last night.
导演昨晚试图搞一些不道德的潜规则
This is not cool, dude.
这样有点过分了吧 伙计
It is most decidedly not cool, pal.
这当然很过分啦 朋友
So maybe there is someone in a union I can talk to
或许我可以跟工会的人
about this particular damage.
说说这笔精神损失费
Not to mention the child labor laws you violated
更不用说你跟阿憨共事
by working with Han.
违反了童工保护法
Don't talk to anyone. I'll get 'em paid.
别跟任何人说 我会叫他付钱的
This sucks.
真气人
I knew we should've shot at a Denny's.
我就知道该去丹尼斯连锁西餐厅拍摄
注释：洛杉矶的丹尼斯餐厅曾连续发生三宗死亡枪击案
Han, that is the sweetest, coolest thing
阿憨 你刚为我们俩做的事
You just did for us. It is,
真是既贴心又帅气 的确
and Caroline is totally gonna put out for you tonight.
今晚卡洛琳绝对会愿意跟你上床
That's kind of her thing now.
反正现在卖♥肉是她的专长
Well, I don't want anyone to take advantage of you two.
我不想任何人占你们俩的便宜
You're my girls.
你们是我的姑娘
And tonight, on a very special episode of funk and skank,
在今晚《街妹与骚妹》的特别节目中
the cute, tiny Asian guy turns out to be the girls' pimp,
那个可爱的亚洲小男人原来是这俩姑娘的皮条客
and the copstitutes are able to buy new horseshoes.
而警妓终于买♥得起马蹄铁啦