塔罗牌的诅咒
Well, here it is. My last tip.
老娘今晚最后一笔小费
Only $2.
只有两块钱
And to think, I held in a fart for those cheap bastards.
亏我之前还为了那些小气鬼憋住一个屁
This night sucks.
今晚烂死了
We don't even have enough to buy supplies for tomorrow.
我们都没赚够明天蛋糕店的材料钱
We'll just have to go to that store where everything's free.
只能去那家所有商品皆免♥费的小店拿了
Oh, good. They're open.
太好了 那店还没关门
And we have to sneak all this stuff out.
我们得偷偷把这些东西弄出去
Han's staying late to do inventory.
阿憨今晚要留下清点库存
Damn it, why does he always have to be so asian?
靠 他有需要这么亚洲人吗
Let's see, what do we need for our cupcake shop?
我们小蛋糕店需要哪些东西来着
Eggs, sugar. A stripper pole?
鸡蛋 糖 脱衣舞钢管一根
Do you want to make money or not?
你到底想不想挣钱啊
How are we gonna hide these eggs?
我们该怎么偷带这些鸡蛋走啊
"You could put some of those "Grade A large"
你可以把这些"A级大鸡蛋
where there's "Grade A itty bitties."
藏进你的"A杯小奶罩"里
Rude, but I don't hate it.
嘴贱 不过主意不错
I can probably fit four to six in each.
我估计一边可以塞四到六颗
So positive!
真积极正面
I love that you're a "cup's half full" kind of person.
我就爱你这样"杯"子半满的积极人士
So come here often?
常来光顾吗
This is my first time.
人家第一次来
Well, you're very pretty. Oh, thank you.
你很漂亮哦 谢谢夸奖
Heads up. Han's coming your way.
小心啦 阿憨要过来了
Should I fake a stroke?
要我假装中风吗
And P.S., if I don't get up in three minutes,
先说好 如果我三分钟后都没起身
It's a real one.
那我就是真中风了
No, I'll deal with him.
不用 我来搞定他
You keep going.
你继续塞
Keep it up, and we'll finally have an answer
别停啊 你继续我们就能知道
to the question "What comes first?
是鸡先来到世上
The chicken or the Oleg?"
还是奥列格[蛋]先"来"啦
Here you go.
给
I just found the greatest thing online.
我刚在网上找到最棒的玩意了
The ultrasound of the Kim and Kanye baby
金与坎耶小孩的超声波照吗
注释：话题名媛金·卡戴珊肚中怀有嘻哈天王坎耶·维斯特的孩子
where someone photoshopped a "666"
就是腹中婴儿小屁♥股被改图加上
on its little baby butt?
恶魔数字"666"的那张吗
Wait, this kid's half Kardashian.
等等 那娃有卡戴珊的基因
注释：卡戴珊身材前♥凸♥后♥翘 有着西方人所喜爱的大屁♥股
Its big baby butt.
是大屁♥股被改图才对
Wow, that baby's already famous for doing nothing...
哇 那孩子毛都不干就已经出名了
Just like its mom.
跟他娘一模一样啊
No, what I found is a site where we can apply
不 我是找到了一个我们可以申请
for a small business grant.
小企业生意拨款的网站
There's a couple of categories: women owned business
里面有几个类别 比如女性专营企业
No thanks. I've been to jail.
不必了 我去过监狱
I was already owned by a woman.
已经"专属"过某个女性了
There's also a minority owned category.
也有一类是少数民族拥有啊
You don't know who your father is,
你也不知道你的生父是谁
and you do have an exotic look.
你又有着异国风的外貌
Any chance he could be native american?
你生父有没有可能是印第安人呢
Yes, in fact, I think his name was
没错 他的名字还叫做
Chief Running Away.
逃跑酋长呢
Wait.
等等
Maybe we don't even need your father.
你老爸这张牌都不见得需要用
We are white,
我们是白人
which according to the last presidential election,
根据上次总统大选时的数据
is the new minority.
白人现在算少数民族呢
注释：其实是美国境内新生儿人种比例 白人首次不过半
So now all we need is a letter of recommendation
我们只需要找到一个同样开店的人
from someone who owns another start up business.
来帮我们写封推荐信就行了
I was thinking of a recommendation
我想找糖果店老板
from Candy Andy's Sweets and Treats.
糖果安迪帮忙写一封呢
I've already written it, so he just has to sign it.
信我写好了 他签个名就行了
Will you ask Andy? I can't, he's my ex.
你能代我问吗 我不行 他是我前任
And I'm saving up my favor
而且我想把请他帮忙的额度
for a booty call on a cold night.
留给寒冷夜晚找他打炮用
I hate asking men for things.
我最讨厌请[问]男人帮忙了
Favors, last names, to stop.
请他们帮忙 问他们姓啥 请他们"停下"
Excuse me, could I get some more sweet'n low?
抱歉 能再给我几包低脂糖吗
Why don't you look in your purse?
你干嘛不从你自己包里拿
It's where I saw you put them.
我看你偷拿了几包放里面
I'm so embarrassed.
真是太不好意思了
Don't be.
不必
I wasn't when I stole them last night.
我昨晚偷它们的时候就没不好意思
What did Andy say?
安迪怎么说
He's gone.
他不见了
For lunch? Forever.
暂离吃饭吗 是永远走人
The man is gone.
他真的走了
His store is empty.
他的店都空了
Oh, my God, this is so sad.
天啊 感觉好伤心哦
I know. There goes the candy.
对啊 糖果飞了
And my booty call.
我的炮♥友也飞了
He didn't even leave a note? Or a Razzle?
连张字条都没留吗 也没留包口香糖吗
Forget the candy.
别想着糖了
Are we not gonna talk about the fact
我们不应该来谈谈
that my ex boyfriend left without so much as a peep?
我的前男友不见最后一面就溜走的事吗
Great. Now I want Peeps.
这下好了 害我想吃棉花糖[看一眼]
Hey, Max.
麦克斯
Is today the day we're gonna get married?
今天有幸跟你结婚吗
Sure, Amir.
当然好啊 阿米尔
Cause my dream in life is to be detained
因为我这辈子的梦想
for four hours on our honeymoon flight.
就是在度蜜月的班机上被扣留四小时
Max, you do know I was born in this country, right?
麦克斯 你知道我是在这国家土生土长的吧
You were born here? How old are you?
你在美国出生的啊 你几岁了
About zero dark thirty?
黑暗零点三十岁吗
注释：黑暗零点三十 其实是军事用语代表户外漆黑时刻 也是电影《猎杀本拉登 》的英语原名
Yeah, you were born in a Walmart, right?
你妈是在沃尔玛生的你 对吧
Where do you think the expression
不然你觉得人们常说的
Clean up on aisle 12" comes from?
打扫一下第12排地板"是怎么来的"
Hey, Caroline,
卡洛琳
you bummed you drove your boyfriend out of town?
你还为你吓跑你男朋友的事情泄气吗
For the record, I did not chase Andy away.
我得声明 我才没把他吓跑路了呢
We ended our relationship well.
我们是和平分手的
Right, that's why I helped him move out
是啊 所以我才要在大半夜
in the middle of the night.
帮忙他搬家
Man, you messed that up.
你把人家玩坏了
So self involved.
你这人太自我了
Coming in a little hot, Amir.
阿米尔 你炮火有点猛烈啊
Yeah, guns ablazin'. If I was allowed to carry them.
中东人不能带武器 不然我嘴炮扫死你
Oh, Amir. You're the bomb.
阿米尔 你太酷了[你是炸♥弹]
Look at us.
你瞧咱们
We're like Homeland, if it was a rom com.
我们就像是浪漫喜剧版的《国土安全》
You don't have to read it, Han.
不用读啦 阿憨
It's just a standard letter of recommendation.
只是一封标准的正常推荐信而已
Don't be a bitch. Just sign it.
少唧唧歪歪 乖乖签字就对了
I'm not comfortable putting my name
没亲自读过的文件
on a document I haven't read.
我没法放心签下名
I understand, but don't be a bitch.
我懂 但你还是少唧唧歪歪
Just sign it.
乖乖签字就是了
Max's homemade cupcakes is
麦克斯自♥制小蛋糕是一个"
an up and coming powerhouse business."
蒸蒸日上 发展强劲的小生意"
I can't sign this.
我不能签这个
This has more lies than my Okcupid profile.
这信比我的约会网站个人资料还鬼扯
Don't be a bitch. Just sign it.
少唧唧歪歪 快乖乖签字
That one's on me, girls.
我也帮你们说一句 姑娘们
If I sign this, it's lying.
我签了字 就是合伙骗人
I could get deported.
我可能会被遣送出境
And I'm one home inspection away from a poodle adoption.
我可是只差一次家访 就能领养贵宾狗了呢
A poodle? That's cool.
贵宾狗啊 挺好的啊
You can share sweaters.
你们衣服能换着穿
Hurry up, bitch.
快点啦 叽歪弟
The deadline to mail that is tonight.
今晚之前得把那信寄出去
Well, if you just wanted to steamroll someone,
如果你们是想逼人签字
why didn't you get your boyfriend, Andy, to sign it?
干嘛不去逼她男朋友安迪签字呢
They split.
他们分手了
He left last night without a peep.
他昨晚最后一面都没见就跑了
Damn it, now I'm thinking about those Peeps again.
靠 我又想起棉花糖[见一面]了
Oh, I was worried you two wouldn't make it.
我早就担心你们俩会感情触礁了
You always have your mind on business,
你满脑子都是想着你的生意
and Andy was such an easy spirit.
而安迪又是个灵魂轻松的人
I think you mean "free spirit."
你是想说灵魂向往自由吧
Easy Spirit is a shoe worn by people
灵魂轻松"是灵魂已死的人
注释：Easy Spirit字面意灵魂轻松 也是美国鞋子品牌 特点是十分舒适 但外观丑陋老土
whose spirits have died.
才会去穿的鞋子品牌
I have two pairs.
我有两双
Okay, fine. Give it back.
行 不签就还给我
I'll find someone else with a business.
我找其他做生意的人吧
What about Sophie? She owns a small business,
请苏菲签如何 她有个小生意啊
and she loves to give,
又乐意为他人奉献
not as much as she loves to receive.
虽然她更爱收下我的"爱"
I'm not so sure Sophie's cleaning business
但我不确定苏菲的家政生意
is totally, well, legal.
是不是百分百合法呢
I mean, when we worked for her,
我们以前给她打过工
on the memo line of our paycheck,
我们薪水支票的备忘栏
she wrote "Colonoscopy."
她写了"结肠镜检查"呢
And for the record, Sophie's cleaning business
我替她声明 她的家政生意
is totally legit.
绝对是合法的
Her organ trading might not be.
器官买♥卖的生意可能就不是了
Forget it, Caroline.
算了 卡洛琳
We might deport you ourselves.
我们亲自把他遣送出境算了
All we need is a Fedex box.
反正用个快递盒就够装了
Um, Caroline. Come over here.
卡洛琳 过来一下
I think I can help you with that.
我应该能够帮你哦
Thanks, Earl, but you don't have a small business.
谢了 厄尔 但是你没有小生意啊
The size of my business has never been in question.
我裤裆里的"生意"从没有人怀疑过它小哦
And I may not have a business,
而我虽然没有什么小生意
But...
但...
Han Lee does.
李阿憨有啊
Max, look. Earl forged Han's signature.
麦克斯 你看 厄尔伪造了阿憨的签名
That's what his signature looks like.
原来他的签名是这样啊
When I forge it, I just draw a picture of Hello Kitty.
我伪造他签名时 都是画个凯蒂猫而已
You want to know your future?
想知道你的未来吗
No, no thanks. You sure?
不必 谢了 你确定吗
I have a message about your love life.
我有个关于你爱情的预言呢
$10.
十块钱
Are you asleep?
你在睡觉吗
Max? Max, I really need to talk.
麦克斯 我有话想跟你谈
Oh, just come in and get it over with.
直接进来发泄不就得了
Everybody else does.
其他人都这样
Max, I'm sorry, but I really need to talk.
抱歉 麦克斯 我真的想跟你谈一下
I went to the fortune teller near the diner,
我去了餐厅附近的算命店
and she told me that I'd never find love in my life.
她说我这辈子注定一生无爱
Fortune telling's a scam.
算命都是骗人的把戏
You'll never find a man, your moon's in Uranus,
你的月亮与天王星相位 这辈子都没男人"
no man will ever be in Uranus."
天王星上本来就没男人"
I could've told you that the second day I met you.
我认识你的第二天就能编这些给你听了
Please, Max, just listen for five minutes.
求你了 麦克斯 听我说五分钟就好
Come over here. I'll make you some tea.
过来嘛 我给你泡杯茶
Tea? Who am I, Pippa Middleton?
还喝茶 你当我是凯特王妃她妹啊
Toast me an eggo waffle and maybe I'm listening.
给我烤个松饼吃吃 我就考虑听听
Well, we were saving that waffle
我们本来是要留到
for a special occasion, but okay.
特殊时刻才吃的呢 不过好吧
Chestnut, we're eating your birthday waffle now.
栗宝 我们现在要吃掉你的生日松饼啦
I don't know why I'm pissing him off.
真不知道我♥干嘛还要惹他生气
he's gonna be the only man in my life.
他可能是我这辈子唯一的男人了
I can't believe you blew $10 on a psychic.
我真不敢相信你花十块钱去找神婆
Why didn't you just buy a Skinnygirl margarita
你就不能跟其他寂寞的白妞一样
like all the other lonely white chicks?
买♥瓶玛格丽塔借酒浇愁吗
I spent $50.
我花了50块
I bought a crystal that protects me from bad juju.
我还买♥了一块挡坏运的水晶[音似坏犹太人]
Hey! There's no reason to get anti semitic.
你也不需要因此讨厌犹太人吧
You spent money on crystal you can't snort?
你还花钱买♥不能吸食的水晶[冰♥毒]
What is wrong with you?
你脑子是哪里有病啊
I freaked out. I didn't want it to be true.
我吓到了嘛 不想要一生无爱
Is it true, Max?
会是真的吗 麦克斯
Am I never gonna find love?
我真的会一生无爱吗
Was Andy my one chance?
安迪是我唯一的希望吗
Did I screw it up because I wanted success?
我因为想成功而抛弃了唯一的爱吗
Was everyone right?
大家说的真的对吗
That is a lot of questions for one waffle.
就给一块松饼 也问太多问题了吧
And where is that waffle?
而且那块松饼呢
You're a bad waitress at home too.
你在家也是个烂服务员
Who could that be?
这么晚 会是谁啊
I don't know. Let me consult the spirits.
不知道 让我请示一下四方神灵
Who is it?
是谁啊
It's Sophie.
是苏菲
Yeah, it's me,
没错就是我
The shady lady with the illegal business.
有着非法生意的坏女人
Yeah, and Caroline, you owe me an apology
卡洛琳 你得给我道歉
or I will take out these hoops,
要不然我会摘下这耳环
and we will get into it, girl.
然后跟你大战一番
Yeah, and I warn you,
我警告你哦
I did some extreme fighting in Warsaw.
我在老家时 可是有不少极限战斗的经验
Extreme fighting? That's awesome.
极限战斗 这么酷啊
Yeah, they would throw a big hunk of cheese in a trough
对啊 他们会把一大块起司丢饲料槽里
and let all the village girls just go at it.
村里的姑娘就会抢上去大打出手
Sorry, Sophie.
抱歉 苏菲
It just seemed like a better business decision
只是当时觉得伪造个签名
to go with the forgery.
会对我们生意比较好嘛
What is that?
那是什么
Is that a waffle?
是松饼吗
Okay! You are forgiven.
好吧 原谅你了
Damn it. I didn't even get a bite.
靠 我连一口都没吃到
I'm awake and sober for nothing.
白起床跟忍着不喝酒了
Sophie, do you believe in psychics?
苏菲 你相信灵媒吗
Oh, no. That's all fake.
才不信呢 那是骗人的
You know, I knew a family of gypsy psychics
我以前认识一个吉普赛灵媒家庭
who couldn't even predict
但他们甚至预测不到
that they would all die in a barn fire.
他们会全家葬身火海
Hey, girls. Sorry to interrupt,
姑娘们 抱歉打扰
but Sophie promised to rub antifungal cream
苏菲之前答应我要帮我又黄又厚的脚趾甲
on my thick, yellow toenails.
擦灰指甲药膏呢
Oleg, come over here.
奥列格过来吧
I'll do it in between bites.
我边吃边帮你擦
This is what you're afraid you're missing?
你害怕得不到的就是这个吗
Because this is a relationship.
这就是爱情啊
Seriously, Max.
麦克斯 我是认真的
That's something I really want.
我真的想要有个爱人
And now I'm never gonna have it.
但看来我这辈子是无缘了
Get in there, baby. I have two feet.
你也来吧 宝贝 我有两只脚呢
Interesting.
有意思
She's a psychic, but she needs a bell
神婆居然需要在门上挂个铃铛
to tell her someone's here.
才能知道有人来了
Max, please don't make me do this.
麦克斯 不要逼我来嘛
I don't want to hear any more bad things.
我不想再听到任何坏事了
Nothing bad's gonna happen.
不会发生什么坏事啦
She's gonna tell you
她会告诉你
you have a bright, love filled future
你有一个充满爱的光明未来
Or I'm gonna kick her in the crystal balls.
不然我会狠狠踹她的水晶"球"
Hello, girls.
你们好 姑娘们
I'll tell you your future as soon as I finish eating.
我一吃完饭就给你们预测未来
It'll only take a minute.
几分钟就好
Since I quit smoking, I eat like a prisoner.
戒烟之后 我就像饿死鬼投胎一样
Come, sit, ruminate on your wishes and dreams.
过来坐下 冥思下自己的愿望和梦想
Well, my wish is that you give my friend her money back,
我的愿望是 你能把钱还给我的朋友
and my dream is that
我的梦想是
梅西·埃丽奥特 美国著名嘻哈饶舌女歌手
I'm a backup dancer for Missy Elliott.
成为梅西·埃丽奥特的伴舞员
Great. A wise ass.
很好 自作聪明的人
Do you want to know your future or not?
你们到底想不想知道自己的未来
Um, you already told me my future.
你已经告诉过我了
That's why we're here.
所以我们才来这里
You said I'd never find love.
你说我会一生无爱了
When did I say that?
我什么时候说的
And you, tough guy, don't say,
还有你 小悍妞 千万不要说
Well, you're the psychic."
你是神婆你会不知道吗""
Maybe she is a psychic, because I am a tough guy
或许她真的是神婆 因为我的确是个悍妞
and I was gonna say that.
而且我也打算这么说
You know, it's hard to remember.
我很难记住每个人
I see a lot of sad, single girls.
我一天见那么多可怜的单身妹
But looking at you right now,
但现在仔细看看你
it makes sense.
我的话也不无道理
And here.
给
Take your phony crystal back.
把你骗人的水晶拿回去
And I'm not so sure this is a real crystal.
我连这是不是真水晶都说不准
It looks like one of those vegan deodorant things.
这看起来像腋下除臭剂之类的
And we want our money.
把我们的钱还来
Oh, okay. What just happened?
好吧 你刚干嘛了
I put a curse on you.
我对你下诅咒了
Max, you said nothing bad was gonna happen!
麦克斯 你说过不会有坏事发生的
Well, I'm not a psychic, and neither is she.
我又不是神婆 不过她也不是
Laugh, buster.
尽管笑吧 小鬼
Nothing in life will go your way,
你人生的一切都会变得不如意
and you will live under a dark cloud.
你会永远被不祥的乌云笼罩着
Will this dark cloud merge
请问那朵乌云会跟
with the current dark cloud above me
现在笼罩在我上方的乌云合体吗
or fly alongside of it?
还是默默地飘在旁边
Look, we don't want to trouble you,
我们也不想麻烦你
but if you could remove the curse
但如果你能高抬贵手解除诅咒
and possibly that noodle on your blouse...
再顺手把你衣服上的面也弄掉...
Oh, no. Did you just
不是吧 你刚是不是...
Cursed you too.
顺便诅咒了你
Tell you what.
这样吧
I'll lift both curses for 50,
50块就替你们解咒
or else your whole life
不然 妹子你不给钱
will come crashing down all around you.
人事物都掉下来
The only way I'm giving a strange woman 50 bucks
除非我在你店里给性器官穿了环
is if I'm walking out of here with a genital piercing.
否则我不会随便给陌生女人50块钱
I do that as well.
这个我也能做哦
Don't believe in curses, never have.
不要相信什么诅咒 没有的事
Not since Jennifer Martin told me
当初詹妮弗·马丁还不是
I was going to hell for sleeping with her boyfriend.
因为我睡了她男人 而诅咒我下地狱
But I didn't.
也没事啊
I just ended up going to homecoming with him.
最后还跟他一起出席了返校派对呢
Max, we have to go back and pay her.
麦克斯 我们必须回去付钱给她
Our lives are hard enough.
我们的人生已经够苦的了
We don't need things to come crashing down around us.
身边不需要有人事物掉下来
Relax. Nothing's coming crashing down around us.
放轻松 不会有任何东西掉下来的
Don't jump, Paul!
别跳 保罗
Paul, don't jump!
保罗 别跳
Paul? Who's paul?
保罗 谁是保罗
And what is he doing on the roof?
他在楼顶干嘛啊
Okay.
好吧
That was paul's life that came crashing down,
是保罗这个人掉下来
not ours.
不是我们
Max, I think we all know that
麦克斯 我们都知道
I'm a highly educated woman
我是一名高学历女性
who doesn't really believe in curses,
不相信诅咒这种事
but I am putting every penny we make tonight
但今晚我要把我们挣的每一分钱
in the "lift the curse" Fund.
都放进"解除诅咒"基金里
And I'm gonna tell you one more time,
我再跟你说最后一遍
we're not spending another 50 bucks
我们不会为了某个愚蠢的诅咒
on some stupid curse.
再多花50块钱
A body fell from the sky!
一个人从天上掉下来啊
Paul got a bad batch of shrooms.
保罗倒霉吃到烂迷幻蘑菇
It had nothing to do with the curse.
跟诅咒一点关系都没有
Everyone knows you don't take psychedelics 348 吃迷幻药above the second floor.
人人都知道不应该在二楼以上
Poor amateur bastard.
业余的倒霉蛋
And we need our money for essentials, like food
我们需要钱来买♥必需品 比如食物
and the penguin statue I saw at the dollar store.
和我在一元店看见的那企鹅像
The one that says "Chill out."
上面写着"冷爆了"[冷静]
So chill out.
所以 冷静
Caroline, I feel bad about
卡洛琳 我觉得很内疚
not signing your letter of recommendation.
没帮在你的推荐信上签名
So I wrote one myself and signed it.
所以我自己写了一封 名字也签好了
Here.
给
That's so nice of you.
你真好
The extremely hardworking Caroline Channing,
工作超级努力的卡洛琳·钱宁"
who has devoted her life to business
把人生全部奉献给事业
and nothing and no one else."
心无旁骛 身无旁人"
Han, this is supposed to be about getting a loan,
阿憨 这封信是要写苦苦求财
not being alone.
而不是写哭哭求爱
I totally get it, girl.
我完全明白 妹子
I'm alone as well.
我也形影自守
We have our eyes on the prize,
为求商场得意 努力不懈
so our beds are empty.
因此情场失意 床上空虚
But occasionally, I pay for it.
但我偶尔也会花钱找人陪睡哦
Did Han just intimate
刚才阿憨暗示了
that he occasionally gets a hooker?
他偶尔会花钱叫鸡吗
Lucky bastard.
这幸运的小淫棍
He probably gets a child's discount.
估计他叫鸡还有儿童折扣呢
Max, look. The future's already happening.
麦克斯 看 不幸的未来已经开始了
Even in Han's letter, I'm alone.
连在阿憨的信里 我都是孤身一人
The only chance for a love life I have now
我现在最能接近爱情的方法
is going halfsies on a hooker with Han.
就是跟阿憨分摊招♥妓费用
We have to reverse the curse now.
我们必须得解除诅咒
News flash: everybody is cursed.
新闻快讯 人人都是被诅咒的倒霉蛋
You lost your money last year.
去年你万贯家财没了
Literally nothing good has ever happened to me.
严格说来 我身上从来没发生过好事
Han hasn't grown since the fourth grade.
阿憨从四年级就没长过个子
Oleg's toenails look like Fritos.
奥列格的脚趾甲看起来像薯片
And Earl was born black
厄尔生在美国史上
at the eighth or ninth worst time
黑人最惨时代中
to be a black man in America.
排行第八或第九的年代
Look around, it's the valley of the damned.
你看清楚吧 这里就是诅咒之谷
Name one person who isn't cursed.
你举出一个没被诅咒的人啊
Hey, guys!
伙计们
I just found a $100 bill on the sidewalk!
我刚在人行道上捡到100块
Drinks for everyone!
我请所有人喝酒
Max, pop open the fancy brandy.
麦克斯 把那瓶高级白兰地打开
"Fancy brandy" is gonna be my stripper name
你要是同意让我在店里装根钢管
if you ever let me put in that pole.
高级白兰地"就会是我的艺名哦
Sophie, guess what?
苏菲 跟你说哦
We went back to that psychic to complain,
我们回灵媒那控诉她
and she put a curse on us.
结果她对我们俩下诅咒了
Oh. You're cursed?
你们俩被诅咒啦
But it's stupid, like you said, right?
但就像你说的 白♥痴才信 对吧
Yeah, yeah. That's stupid.
对对 白♥痴才信
Yeah.
没错
Did she mention me?
她有提到我的名字吗
No.
没啦
She just cursed us and said
她只是对我们下咒 然后说
our whole lives would come crashing down around us.
不给钱 我们周围的人事物都会掉下来
and 30, 40, 50.
30 40 50块
The curse is lifted.
诅咒解除了
Oh, I don't think you got me. What about my curse?
你好像没弄到我 那我的诅咒呢
Talk about phoning it in.
做戏做全套
Couldn't you wave a feather or spin your head
你不能挥舞个羽毛还是转转头
or throw up or something?
甚至是呕吐一下之类吗
That's extra.
那要额外收费
You know what? I'm in a good mood tonight.
其实呢 我今晚心情很不错
I got through the whole day on 15 cigarettes
我今天只抽了15根烟
and one sheet cake.
吃了一整个大蛋糕就满足了
I'm gonna give tough guy a free reading here.
我送一次免♥费塔罗算命给悍妞吧
Oh, free, as in the $50 you just shook us down for?
免♥费是指付50块后免花费吗
Should never have quit. Okay.
一开始就不应该试着戒烟
Future coming right at you.
你的未来马上就能算出
I see that you will have a happy life.
我看到了你会有个快乐人生
Me, happy?
我 快乐吗
All right, get your hat, mother. We're leaving.
母亲 戴上帽子 我们可以走人了
And I see a large sum of money coming your way.
还有很大一笔钱将要入你手
Over $10,000.
一万元以上哦
Max, it's the grant.
麦克斯 是那个拨款
We applied for $12,000. Is that it?
我们申请了一万二 是这个吗
Sure.
当然
And in spite of your bad childhood...
尽管你有个悲惨的童年
She knew you had a bad childhood.
她知道你有悲惨的童年耶
Come on, every childhood is bad.
拜托 谁的童年不悲惨
You're stupid. You can't reach stuff.
又小又笨 总够不着东西
It's rough.
超悲催啊
In spite of it,
尽管如此
I see great love and children in your future.
我看到你的未来有爱人与儿女相伴
Max.
麦克斯
Me? No, wait.
我吗 等等
You must be picking up on her vibes.
你是不是接收到她的未来啦
Check again.
再检查一下
No, great love and children
没 就是你有爱人与儿女
will be part of your future.
在未来伴你左右
She will die alone.
她会孤独终老
Okay, well, that's all I can take.
够了 我受不了了
I'm not gonna sit here and wait for the other Paul to fall.
我不要在这坐等下一个保罗掉下来
Let's go, Max. No, no, no, no.
走吧 麦克斯 别别别
No, no. Wait.
别走 等等
She obviously got it wrong. Didn't you?
她绝对是算错了 对吧
Nope. Still dying alone...
没 她就是会孤独终老
with nothing but her great success.
但是会在事业上取得大成功
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What?
抱歉 没听清 你再说一遍
I see great success in your future.
我看到了你的未来会有大成功
You do? Oh, thank God.
真的吗 谢天谢地
I'm gonna have success? How big a success?
我会功成名就吗 多成功啊
Oh, honey, it's so big,
亲爱的 超级成功
you won't even know you're alone.
成功到你都意识不到自己有多孤独
All right, go.
好啦 你们走吧
May you live a long and healthy life.
祝你们长命百岁 一生健康
And put on your hat and gloves.
记得带上帽子手套
I'm predicting snow.
我预测要下雪了
It's not going to snow.
才不会下雪呢
At most, it's gonna rain 30 year old dudes.
顶多也就是30岁男人们如雨坠落
Maybe she isn't so psychic.
她也不是多灵嘛
Stop fighting it, Max.
不要不信邪了 麦克斯
You're gonna find love and be happy,
你会找到爱人然后过得开心
and I'm gonna be successful.
而我会超级成功
You hear that, New York?
你听到了吗 纽约
I'm gonna be successful and alone!
我将要功成名就 然后孤独终老
And robbed and raped if you keep calling that out.
你再喊 就要被人先抢后奸了
And it all started when I dropped
而成功的就是从我把
that grant application into that mailbox
拨款申请表投入
that those guys are unbolting and taking away.
那正被拆除带走的邮筒开始的
What's going on?
怎么回事
It's called emails.
听过电邮吗
We're getting rid of this. No one mails anything anymore.
我们要把邮筒拆了 现在都没人寄信了
Yes, they do. I did yesterday.
有啊 我昨天才投进去呢
And our $12,000 depends on it.
我们的一万二就靠那封信了
Sorry, doll.
抱歉啦 美女
This box has been out of commission for a week.
这邮筒已经除役一周了呢
According to a psychic, her box is gonna be
而根据神婆说的 她下面的"邮筒"
out of commission forever.
将"除役"一辈子呢
We had to tell him.
这必须得跟他们说啊
You expect me to lie to a city employee?
你想我骗政♥府公仆吗
So I guess we're not getting that grant.
看来我们是得不到那笔拨款了
The psychic was wrong.
那灵媒说错了
Maybe nothing she said is gonna come true.
她说的估计没一样会实现
I told you, it's a scam.
我都说了 那是骗人的
Max, look.
麦克斯 你瞧
It's snowing.
下雪了
And she predicted snow.
她预测会下雪呢
Oh, crap! Am I gonna have kids?
妈的 我会有小孩啊
So she was right on snow, but not on the money.
她雪预测对了 但钱却没有
So what is it?
这样怎么算啊
Am I or am I not gonna die old and alone?
我到底会还是不会孤独终老啊
Why are we even talking about this?
我们谈这个干嘛啊
We're probably not gonna make it through the winter.
我们都不知道活不活得过这冬天
if you die first,
对了 如果你先死了
I am totally eating you.
我绝对会吃你哦
Oh. I know.
我知道你会的
And besides,
而且
no one person can get it all.
没人能鱼与熊掌兼得啦
You're right.
你说得对
No one person can, but what about two?
一个人不行 那两个人呢
You'll have the love and the kids
你有爱人与孩子
and I'll have success.
而我有成功
Maybe we can share, like we share our tips
我们可以分享啊 就像我们现在分小费
or that wheat thin we found in your pillowcase.
或像我们分享你枕套里发现的饼干一样
Are you asking to bang my great love?
你是想跟我以后的爱人上床吗
Which is fine with me, becaue I'm already bored
我是无所谓啦 我到时肯定也是腻了他
and sleeping with his poker buddy.
然后开始睡他的牌友
In fact, let's switch.
这样吧 我们交换
You can have my great love, and I'll die alone.
你可以拿走我的爱人 让我来孤独终老
Max, you don't want to die alone.
麦克斯 你不会想孤独终老的
I am dying to die alone.
我但求孤独一死啊