纸质蛋糕大赛

Max, look at all these customers
麦克斯 瞧瞧这午夜骑行活动
from Brooklyn midnight ride,
给我们带来多少顾客
I smell of diner success!
我闻到了成功的味道
Really? 'Cause I smell baked crotch.
真的吗 我只闻到胯下烤焦的味道呢
Can balls fart?
蛋蛋也能放屁吗
Because I feel like I'm smelling that too.
我感觉好像闻到了蛋屁味
Where is Oleg with my orders?
奥列格怎么还没上我的菜
If my tables don't get food soon, they're gonna
我的客人再没拿到吃的 他们会...
Oh, my God, they're raising their arms.
天啊 他们果然举手示意了
Ugh! Well, we know it wasn't a charity ride
我们也可以确定这次骑行
to raise money for deodorant.
不是为除臭剂募捐善款了
Oleg, where are my burgers?
奥列格 我的汉堡好了吗
I'm a little in the weeds right now.
我现在有点大♥麻
You mean you smoked a little weed right now?
你是说你抽了点大♥麻吧
It's medicinal.
是药用大♥麻
Helps with my chronic erection.
压制我"长勃不倒"的毛病
Can someone who's not in the Grateful DeadGrateful Dead
感恩而有非感恩而死乐队成员
注释：死乐队：美国史上第一支在吸毒后即兴表演的乐队
tell me how we're gonna get food?
能告诉我怎么才能弄到食物吗
Follow me.
跟我来
You do plates, buns, coleslaw.
你搞定盘子 汉堡面包 卷心菜沙拉
I'll do burgers, fries,
我来搞汉堡 薯条
and any guy who has no future.
以及"搞"任何没未来的男人
Can you imagine if we were born inside shells,
你能想象如果我们生在贝壳里
and then even bigger animals cracked us open to eat?
然后有更强大的动物破开壳 吞我们下肚吗
Fries on the plates!
薯条要放上盘子了
Is anybody writing this gold down?
没有人把这句金玉良言记下吗
All right, Oleg. I want in.
好了 奥列格 我要加入
Where's the
你抽的在...
or the
或是...
or the
又或是...
Oh, my God, am I deaf?
天啊 老子成聋子了
Wait, where is it?
慢着 我把它放哪里了
I put it somewhere.
我记得放在某处了
Ooh, a french fry.
哇 有薯条吃[抽完大♥麻容易肚子饿]
I don't know where you guys are in your bike training.
我不知道你们自行车练到什么程度了
Are we doping or desserting?
是要来点兴♥奋♥剂 还是上甜点呢
I can help you either way.
我都能帮你们搞到哦
We're thinking about dessert.
我们想吃甜点
Cool, how about a Max's homemade cupcake?.
很好 那来个麦克斯自制小蛋糕如何
Eh, I don't think so
不要
How's that cherry pie? Nice.
樱桃派怎么样 还不错
The family of mice that lives in it just renewed their lease.
住在派里的那家老鼠 刚续租了
So, a Max's homemade cupcake?
还是来个麦克斯自制小蛋糕吧
You keep saying "Max's homemade cupcakes"
你干嘛一直提"麦克斯自制小蛋糕"
like it's a thing.
好像多出名一样
I've never heard of it.
我从来没听说过这玩意
I haven't either. And we know a lot.
我也是 我们可是很懂行的呢
And yet you put that headband on this morning.
但你出门还是系了这个二逼头巾
So who's Max? Yeah, who's Max?
那个麦克斯是谁啊 对啊 是谁啊
Who's Max?
谁是麦克斯啊
She's Lance Armstrong's left nut.
她是兰斯·阿姆斯特朗的左蛋蛋
注释：兰斯·阿姆斯特朗 美国环法自行车赛冠军 曾因罹患睾丸癌切除右睾丸
What? Nothing.
看你妹啊 不看不看
Caroline,
卡洛琳
You know I'm not one to gossip,
你知道我不喜欢说人八卦
but just about 30 seconds ago,
但就在30秒之前
I saw Max drop some major attitude
我亲眼看见麦克斯耍脾气
and blow a chance with a possible cupcake customer.
葬送了一个争取小蛋糕潜在客户的机会
That's your gossip?
你的八卦就是这个吗
That Max has an attitude?
谁不知道麦克斯脾气大啊
What are you gonna tell me next,
你接下来还要跟我八卦什么
that Elton John is gay?
艾尔顿·约翰是同性恋吗
注释：艾尔顿·约翰 英国著名同性恋歌星
Anyways, I'm just saying about Max,
总而言之 我就说说而已
bitch needs to take it down a notch.
那贱♥人不该气焰这么嚣张
Bitch needs to mind his own business.
那你这个贱♥人 应该少管闲事
Max, did you blow a possible cupcake customer tonight?
麦克斯 你今晚是不是吹了一个潜在的客户
You know I don't mix business with pleasure.
我可是公私分明 干活时候从不"吹"
We have to keep pushing our cupcakes.
我们必须不断地推销小蛋糕
Every table, every time,
每个餐桌 每次点餐
Max's homemade cupcakes. I did.
都要强推"麦克斯自制小蛋糕 我有啊
I said my name to that table more times
刚才我说我名字的次数
than my mother said it my entire life.
比我妈这辈子叫我的次数还多
But you can't just say the name.
你不能光说名字
You have to really sell it.
你得用心去推销
You should see me out there.
你真应该向我学着点
hope you saved room for
希望您肚子还有空位"
one of our delicious "Max's homemade cupcakes.
吃我们美味的“麦克斯自制小蛋糕
they're moist, delicious, creamy” Stop.
湿润 味美 带汁液" 别说了
I can't believe I'm saying this,
没想到我会说这个
but I am not a whore.
但老娘又不是妓♥女
Oh, you're a cupcake whore,
你就是个小蛋糕妓♥女
...and right now I'm your pimp, so...
而现在我是你的皮条客 所以
how many did you sell tonight? Two.
你今晚卖了多少 两个
Don't hit me, daddy!
别打我 皮条老爹
Okay, how many did you sell tonight?
好吧 那你今晚又卖了多少
I sold...
我可是卖了
Two.
两个哟
Okay, we're bad whores.
好吧 我们是一代烂妓
No, we are tired whores.
不 我们只是累了的妓
It's not the end of the world.
急什么 又不是世界末日
We're just letting a few El Caminos drive by
我们不过是因为"手腕累了"
because our wrists are sore.
才放过几个开老爷车的过路客
I love you for that.
我就爱你这样
You just put everything into perspective.
你看待事物总是有独到见解
So I says to Caroline, "it's so bad for business."
于是我跟卡洛琳说 这样对生意不好
And right now they're in the kitchen having huge fight.
她们现在正在厨房大吵特吵呢
I really worried that
我真的很担心...
Lady chatterbox says your business is in big trouble.
八卦小天后说你们的生意有"大♥麻烦"
Please, everything seems big to Han.
拜托 对小不点来说什么不"大"呀
Ready to go, Sophie?
可以走了吗 苏菲
And girls, sorry to hear your business broke up
姑娘们 听说你们的生意失败
and you aren't speaking.
还撕破脸了啊
We scared him.
我们吓到他了
Now he's gonna run under the stove.
这小鼠辈要躲回灶台下了
I'm gonna make some calls to help you.
我会打几个电话帮帮你们
Get you some big party jobs.
给你们接几个大派对单子
That's so nice of you, Sophie.
你人真好 苏菲
We really appreciate it.
我们感激不尽
You girls can make some big money.
你们俩姑娘可以挣大钱哦
As you know, Duza day is coming up.
你们也知道 高大节要来了
Um, no, I do not know.
不 我不知道
What the hell is Duza day?
什么是高大节呀
Oh, Duza day is huge holiday in Polish community.
高大节是波兰的重大节日
When a polish girl reaches six feet,
当波兰姑娘长到1米82时
You give her big party.
得给她办个派对
I had mine when I was seven.
我是在七岁的时候办的
Is this private giggling
是"私事"在笑
or can anyone join?
还是我也可以加入啊
What are you watching? My favorite show.
你在看什么啊 我最爱的节目
Abby & Brittany, the show about those
阿比与布莱缇"的节目吗
cute conjoined twins with two heads, one torso?
连体婴姐妹 一个身子两个头
Already watched it.
看过了
They fought about a necklace.
她们为了一条项链吵架了
Now I'm watching Cupcake Wars.
我现在是看决战小蛋糕之巅
If our team wins Cupcake Wars,
如果我们队伍赢了比赛
we're gonna use the $10,000 prize
我们将用这一万元奖金
to finally open up our own storefront.
来开一家属于我们的小店
Wait, $10,000? What kind of show is this?
等等 一万元 这是什么节目
I thought Google eliminated the need
我还以为有了谷歌之后
to ask questions out loud, but fine.
就不会有人随口问蠢问题了
It's a show on Food Network
这是美食频道的节目
where teams make cupcakes and compete for money.
队伍们制作小蛋糕 然后比赛赢取奖金
And why are we not on it?
那为什么我们不参加
Look at that dumb dumb!
看那个傻蛋
She just dropped the pastry bag.
她裱花袋都掉地上了
Hey, they're called hands,
那器官叫"双手"
learn how to use them, dumb dumb!
学学怎么用它们吧 傻蛋
And that is why we're not on it.
这就是为什么我们不去参加
Not everyone's as judgmental as you.
不是每个人都跟你一样爱批判
Oh, everyone's as judgmental as me.
哪个人不跟我一样爱批判啊
And I don't need some snarky bitch
我也不想有无礼的臭三八
pointing at us on her TV going,
指着她的电视说
oh, look at that blonde dumb dumb
快看电视上那金发傻蛋"
and her hot friend trying to do something."
跟她那个性感努力在忙活的朋友"
Max, why don't you ever let yourself dream?
麦克斯 为什么你从不让自己有梦想呢
Because in my dreams,
因为在我梦中
spiders are always eating my eyes.
我眼珠总是被蜘蛛吃了
This might be the big push we need.
这没准是我们需要的大机遇
We can go on Cupcake Wars,
我们可以去决战小蛋糕之巅
or we can keep being cupcake whores.
也可以继续当小蛋糕之妓
Think about it.
你考虑一下吧
We wouldn't have to go car to car anymore,
我们不用路上逢人就求"卖"
we could actually open a brothel.
而是可以开家正经的妓院
Wait, if brothel's on the table,
等等 如果可以选择去妓院
why don't we just forget about this cupcake thing?
那我们还想着这个破蛋糕生意干嘛
cause that's a job I can do without pants.
做那份工 我就可以不♥穿裤子上班了
Seriously. Let's at least go to the Food Network and apply.
说真的 好歹也去美食频道试着报名看看吧
That's not how it works.
不是这样的
You fill out an application online,
你得在网上先填报名表
submit a two minute home video,
并上传一个两分钟的自我介绍短片
and then wait eight to ten days for a response.
然后节目组会在八到十天后通知你
Huh, caught you dreaming.
让我逮到你有过这个梦吧
All right, so maybe I thought about it for, like, a second,
行 我是曾经想过那么一秒钟
when we first became a team.
在我们刚刚组队的那会
But then I remembered the world's a dead end
但我想起人生就是个死胡同
and nothing good happens ever to anyone.
好事永远也不会降临
There's a gun in that drawer.
那抽屉里有把枪
Do you want to just kill ourselves?
不如现在就饮弹自尽吧
Oh, Max.
麦克斯
You finally called us a team.
你终于承认我们是一个团队了
We are so going on that show.
我们绝对要上那节目
Seriously, I don't know how Abby and Brittany do it,
说真的 我真不知道连体婴姐妹忍受的
because I'm uncomfortable with you
光是你跟我坐这么近
even sitting this close to me.
我就浑身不舒服了
Well, if we're making an audition tape to be on a reality show called,
如果我们要给名为"世界最不舒服T恤"的
“The world's most uncomfortable T shirt,"
真人秀拍试镜带"
We have already won.
那我们已经赢了
Yes, I could have gotten us
我是可以买更贵的衣服
a more expensive shirt at American Apparel,
例如去AA美国服饰店买[平价服饰]
but then we would just look like people pretending to be poor.
但那样只会让我们看起来像装穷
And 13, and probably in the sex trade.
估计还像卖淫的13岁屁孩
I cannot believe you used your flat iron
我没想到你居然省到用直发器
to put these letters on.
来把图案给烫上
Well, I can't believe you once used it to make a panini,
我也不敢相信你会用过这来压三明治啊
but that's what happens now.
但你还不是做了
Where's the scissors?
剪刀呢
I gotta give this thing some flave.
我要给这衣服加点风采
Max, what are you doing?
麦克斯 你在干嘛
Crew necks are for squares and Mormons.
圆领衫是给乡巴佬跟摩门教徒穿的
Oh, cute! Should we do mine?
真可爱 我该学你吗
I don't know.
我不知道
If you have no car, why open the garage?
内里无"车" 何须打开"车库"
So, I thought we'd shoot it over here
我觉得我们就站这里拍
in our adorable, scrappy, low income kitchen.
在我们有爱 凄凉 又穷酸的厨房里
Why are you talking like that?
你干嘛这么说话
Because that's our brand.
这就是我们的品牌风格啊
I've watched a ton of Cupcake Wars,
我看了无数集决战小蛋糕之巅
and it's a lot about branding.
打出自我品牌是很重要的一环
And what are we?
那我们是什么
The girl who knows how to make cupcakes
会做小蛋糕的女孩加
and the girl who doesn't?
不会做的女孩组合吗
Max, I'm not worried about that.
麦克斯 我才不担心这个
You'll just tell me what to do, like you always do,
你会告诉我怎么做 就跟往常一样
and we'll be the two scrappy girls with so little
然后我们就扮演两个凄凉穷苦的女孩
you can't help but love them.
哪有观众会不心疼我们啊
I hate them already.
我已经开始讨厌这俩妞了
Okay, that's Oleg.
奥列格来了
You did tell him he's filming us for an audition
你有告诉他是来拍试镜带
and not making a porno, right?
而不是来拍黄♥片的吧
Yeah, I made it very clear.
有的 我说得非常清楚
Why are your tops still on?
你们怎么还穿着上衣啊
And why isn't the plastic down?
塑料布怎么还不铺好啊
You're gonna get oil everywhere.
油会溅的到处都是呢
Oleg, Max told you
奥列格 麦克斯说过了
we're not gonna make that kind of movie.
我们不是要拍"那种"电影
I know, but so did every girl that I worked with
但每个跟我合作过"后庭新娘"电影的
on "Backdoor Brides".
女孩也都这么说啊
And then again on "Backdoor Brides II."
然后拍续集时又说了一遍
But five minutes later, it was "here comes the bride."
但开拍五分钟过后 就成了新娘"来"了
Oh, good.
太好了
You still have your tops on.
你们上衣还在
Yeah, they don't have to make Girl on girl porn film for money.
她们不用拍女女黄♥片♥赚♥钱了
I got you big Duza day party.
我帮你们接到了高大节的单
300 cupcakes!
三百个小蛋糕
Oh, my God! That's $1,200.
天啊 能赚一千两百块呢
No, it's for free.
不 不给钱
You do it for connections,
这次是让你们打通关系
and for the hot and cold pierogi buffet.
好让你们在波兰饺子自助上提供甜点
Oh, Sophie, I don't know
苏菲 我不确定
if we should be taking free work right now.
是否该接你这免♥费的活
We're doing this TV thing, and if we get it,
我们想上电视 如果雀屏中选
we don't know what our schedule will be.
我们的时间就不好拿捏
Oh, I didn't know I was talking
不知道你们是警花拍档（上世纪80年代末的美剧姐妹花拍档）
to Cagney and Lacey.
是我有眼不识泰山
Yeah, well, suit yourself.
好吧 随你们
We're sorry, Sophie.
对不起 苏菲
You have every right to be mad.
你完全有权气我们
Would a cupcake help?
吃个小蛋糕心情会好点吗
Always.
当然会
Well, I just texted the third girl not to come,
我发短信叫另一个女孩别来了
So let's get this over with.
咱们速战速决吧
This is so exciting. We're gonna be great.
好兴奋哦 我们可以的
We got this, girl. Okay, stop.
我们一定行 姐妹 停
On every reality show,
我们绝不许说
people say lame things that we can never say.
每个真人秀都会有人说的烂句
No fist bumping. No high fives.
我们不许击拳 击掌
You can't tell me to "bring it," "shut it down,"
不许叫我"使出全力" "发功"
or "put our cupcake business on the map."
或说要将小蛋糕生意名扬天下
"You can't tell me to "go, girl""or "bring my 'A' game,"
也不许说 "加油妹子" "使出十成功力啊
And we don't "got this". Cool?
我们也没有"一定行" 懂吗
Cool.
懂
But we do got this, right? Yeah, we got this.
懂 但我们一定行 对吧 那当然
Okay, here we go, girls.
好的 姑娘们 好戏上场
Arch your backs. Sorry, force of habit.
翘起你的屁屁 抱歉 职业病
Action.
开始
Hey, what's up? I'm Max,
大家好吗 我是麦克斯
And this is my partner, Caroline.
她是我的搭档卡洛琳
And we're Max's homemade cupcakes.
我们是"麦克斯自制小蛋糕"
And by homemade, I mean, "hoe made".
也就是"卖客湿"自制小蛋糕 来"卖"的
You go, girl!
说得好 姑娘们
We are an online bakery... Well, we have a website.
我们目前只是个网店 我们有网站
And we're based right here in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
但大本营就在此 布鲁克林的威廉斯堡
And this is where the magic happens.
小蛋糕的奇迹就是在此地创造的
This is our kitchen/ living room/ my bedroom
这里是厨房兼客厅兼我的卧房
Slash my wrists, 'cause I'm trying to bake all night
还"奸"我的手腕 我总是烘培整晚
while she's sleeping over there.
而她只会呼呼大睡
And here is our purple stove.
而这是我们的紫色烤箱
Just because you're poor,
我们虽然人穷
that doesn't mean you can't have style.
但风格品味绝不穷
Or a horse that just came in unannounced.
还有只不请自来的抢镜马
Oh, this is Chestnut.
他是栗宝
He's our test audience.
我们的试吃员
But we don't feed him chocolate.
我们没有喂他巧克力哦
Cause that would kill him.
因为马吃了会死
They have a horse!
她们还有匹马
So pick us because we're hard workers, we love the show,
请您选我们 我们很努力也爱您的节目
and we're females getting their own, on their own.
而且我们是一对自食其力的姐妹花哦
And cut! That was so great.
停 拍得太棒了
Chestnut walking in out of nowhere,
还有栗宝突然就蹦了进来
we could not have planned that.
真是老天的安排啊
Oh, but I did.
不 是我安排的
That's our gimmick. Try to beat that.
这是我们的吸睛绝招 谁能赢啊
Two girls with a horse.
两女一马
And how is this not a porn film?
这怎么就不是黄♥片啊
We knew it, we got it
我们知 我们行
I knew it, I saw it!
我早知 我已见
Is this how you imagined it when you were laughing
你嘲笑上节目的傻蛋们时
at all the dumb dumbs on Cupcake Wars?
有想到过此情此景吗
I cannot believe I am auditioning
我真不敢相信我有来试镜
to be on Cupcake Wars.
这节目的一天
I am on the show I watch!
我上了我爱看的节目
Life is totally awesome.
人生真是太美好了
Good morning. I'm the Cupcake Wars
早安 我是决战小蛋糕之巅的
talent coordinating producer, Janis.
参赛者制作人 洁尼丝
You are awesome. Your show's awesome.
你超牛逼 你的节目超牛逼
Who would I talk to about getting a mug to take home?
我想拿个纪念马克杯的话 该找谁要呢
Not a gift shop.
这里不是礼品店
Janis, hi, I'm Caroline, and this is my partner, Max.
洁尼丝 我是卡洛琳 她是麦克斯
Loved your tape. Great characters.
很喜欢你们的影带 很有个性
We are? We are.
是吗 是的
Look, we're about to start with the team intros.
我们将从队伍自我介绍开始
The other team is up first and then you.
另一队先 然后换你们
And remember to B.Y.O.B.
记得是B.Y.O.B
注释：B.Y.O.B：bring your own bottle,可自带啤酒。
Oh, if I had known I was allowed to bring a bottle in,
早知道允许自己带酒来
I wouldn't have chugged it in the bathroom.
我就不把它们倒掉了
Max, that's not what she meant.
麦克斯 她不是这意思
The Food Network is very PG.
美食频道是很老少皆宜的
Janis, B.Y.O.B.?
洁妮丝 B.Y.O.B是指...
Bring your own brand.
打出自己的品牌特色
Just like you did on your home tape.
就像你们录制的影片一样
You're edgy with big boobs. You're the "try hard."
你是犀利巨♥乳姐 你是装模作样妞
I'm sorry, I'm the what?
抱歉 您说我是...
That's your brand.
那是你们的招牌
The muscle and the hustle.
一个干活 一个废话
The double D's and the ditz.
胸器逼人"与"傻♥逼人"
I went to Wharton. I'm not a ditz.
我上过沃顿商学院 我才不是傻♥逼
Well you ain't the double D's.
你也不是"胸器逼人啊"
Can you believe she openly commented on m'goods?
她居然这么直接地夸赞我的"胸器"
All right, we're ready for team one.
好的 第一组请上场
Step up.
请上前
You have 30 seconds.
你们有三十秒
Okay, cute aprons. But what's their brand?
好的 围裙挺可爱 但品牌特色呢
In five, four, three, two...
倒数5 4 3 2...
Hi, I'm Felicia. And I'm Blanche,
大家好 我是法丽莎 我是布兰琪
and we're representing the crescent city.
我们是来自新月城的代表
We're talking about New Orleans, y'all!
也就是新奥尔良哟 各位
Cute accents, but no one has a scrappier story than us.
口音挺可爱 但没人能比我们凄凉悲惨
Back in 2005, when hurricane Katrina hit...
回想起2005年 卡特里娜飓风来袭
注释：卡特里娜飓风：美国史上最严重的自然灾害之一 新奥尔良是重灾区 将近两千人死亡 损失超过八百亿美元
Say what?
什么
And the levee broke
当时堤防溃堤
and flooded our whole neighborhood.
我们那一带全淹没了
Say what?
什么
Our community was devastated, and we thought,
社区陷入愁云惨雾 我们心想
hell yes, Katrina hit us hard.
卡特里娜淹掉了我们的家园
But hell no! We're not giving up.
但它淹不掉我们的魂与希望
We needed to find a way to keep on keepin' on.
我们得想个办法 帮大家坚持下去
Katrina? Their brand is Katrina?
卡特里娜 她们是打飓风牌吗
Even m'goods can't upstage that.
我的"胸器"镇不住这招啊
We want to win Cupcake Wars
我们想赢得这比赛
so we can finally open a storefront
这样我们才能有足够的资金
in our little neighborhood.
在社区开个小店
Make our business official.
让我们的生意正式上轨道
Yeah, and find a way to put money back into our community.
这也是我们想回馈社区办法
That's what we're all about at...
这就是我们的理念
Neighbor cakes!
敦亲睦邻小蛋糕
Boom!
加油
Great, great.
很好 非常好
Max's Homemade Cupcakes, you're up.
麦克斯自制小蛋糕 到你们了
Why did we name the company after me?
我们为啥会用我名字来当店名
Neighbor Cakes" versus
敦亲睦邻小蛋糕"对比"
Max's narcissistic cupcakes"?
麦克斯自恋小蛋糕""
We're fine. Don't freak out.
没事的 理智线别断
Just do our thing, like we did at home.
跟着我们的计划走 照搬家里那套
No need to panic.
不必恐慌
In five, four, three, two...
倒数5 4 3 2...
Yo, what's up?
大家好啊
I'm Max, of Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
我是"麦克斯自制小蛋糕"的麦克斯
They're "Hoe made." Ha! Get it?
是"卖客湿"自制小蛋糕 懂吗
cause she's a hoe!
因为她是来卖的'
She's got the boobs,
她有大"胸器"
And I've got the brains, right, Max?
我有好头脑 对吧 麦克斯
Uh, kind of.
算是吧
We bake at home in our apartment, which is
我们的小蛋糕都是在家里烘焙的 环境...
Is a disaster area. Really, it's a mess.
简直就像飓风扫过 真的很惨哦
And we don't have our rent.
而且我们还付不起房租
The rent is high, not gonna lie.
付不起房租 贵到我想哭
we hung out to dry, neither has a guy
可怜无人助 也无男人顾
Yo, what up, Cupcake Wars? Right, Max?
咋样啊 决战小蛋糕之巅 对吧 麦克斯
I don't even know what's happening.
我不知道现在是怎样
We bake because I lost all my money
我们开始烘焙是因为我家破产
and her mom drinks.
而且她妈是酒鬼
Oh, I'm Caroline... and, cut.
对了 我是卡洛琳 就此结束
Okay. Well, okay.
好吧 行
Did I just freestyle rap?
我刚才即兴唱了段饶舌吗
Yes.
是的
And you also called our apartment a disaster
你还在家园被飓风淹没的女人面前
in front of two ladies whose apartments washed away.
说我们的家像是被飓风扫过一般
Hi. Everything okay over here?
你们俩没事吧
Yep. Ditz and double D's, on track.
傻♥逼人与胸器逼人一切正常
B.Y.O.B. Great.
介绍自己的品牌特色 很好
Can we all gather to reveal the secret ingredients?
都来到台前 我将公布今天的神秘材料
What's it gonna be? It could be anything.
会是什么材料啊 都有可能啊
I once saw a St. Patrick's day theme where a team made
在圣帕特里克节主题集中 有支队伍做了
注释：圣帕特里克节：爱尔兰节日 人们会大肆庆祝 喝绿色啤酒 互赠三叶苜蓿 穿着绿色衣物
a beer and lucky charms cupcake.
啤酒幸运符小蛋糕
That's right up your alley. I hope it's that.
那方面你很专长 希望是那个主题
Today's theme is...
今日的主题是
Soul food.
灵魂食物[黑人食物]
Ooh, we got this, sister!
我们一定行的 姐妹
Sister, this is gotten. Whoo hoo!
胜券在握了 爽哟
Some of the ingredients include
材料包含有
okra, molasses, collard greens, sweet potato,
秋葵 糖蜜 芥蓝 地瓜
buttermilk, chicken, and ham hock.
酪乳 鸡 猪蹄膀
Ham hock?
猪蹄膀
Isn't that a character in The Hobbit?
怎么听起来像魔戒哈比人的名字
In three, two...
倒数3 2
Here we go, girl!
比赛开始 女孩们
Sister, we are screwed.
姐妹 我们死定了
We can do our sweet potato mash cupcake.
我们可以做我们的地瓜泥小蛋糕
Ooh, with peanut molasses drizzle.
再撒上糖蜜花生碎
Gumbo cupcake! Gumbo cupcake!
秋葵小蛋糕 秋葵小蛋糕
What are we gonna do?
我们该怎么做
I don't know.
不知道
What are you looking at? The camera.
你在看什么 摄影机啊
New Orleans, New Orleans
新奥尔良 新奥尔良
we got this, gumbo cupcakes
我们一定行 秋葵小蛋糕
Good luck, Caroline.
卡洛琳 祝你好运
Stop it, Max. What's wrong with you?
不许走 麦克斯 跑什么跑啊
It's happening. We're the dumb dumbs!
最惨的事发生了 我们是这集里的傻蛋
We are not the dumb dumbs.
我们才不是这集的傻蛋
I went to Wharton.
我是沃顿商学院毕业的
All we have to do is pick three ingredients.
我们就选出三个材料吧
And we're ready to pop them in the oven!
我们准备好要放进烤箱了
How can they already be going in the oven?
她们怎么这么快就能送入烤箱啦
Oh, that gives me an idea! What?
这让我有个主意 什么
Put me in the oven!
把我放进烤箱吧
Okay, okay. We just have to start.
没事的 先开始 边做边想吧
It'll come to us.
灵感会来的
Bring it all.
统统带过去
Just my luck to get soul food
这集主题居然是灵魂食物
when I don't even have a soul.
我这没灵魂的人真是超"幸运"啊
New Orleans, New Orleans
新奥尔良 新奥尔良
we got this, gumbo cupcakes
我们一定行 秋葵小蛋糕
That is not catching on!
这洗不了我的脑的
So, what are you thinking, Max?
你有什么想法呢 麦克斯
New Orleans, New Orleans
新奥尔良 新奥尔良
I was wrong, it is catching on.
我错了 真被洗脑了
Stop thinking that.
别想那个了
Start thinking about the ingredients,
快想要用什么材料
while I do the baking.
我一边先准备烘焙
I've seen you do it a million times.
我看你做过无数次了
We just need milk, right, Max?
用牛奶就行了 对吧
We got this. Gumbo cupcakes
我们一定行 秋葵小蛋糕
Here's the milk.
牛奶先拿来
So, I'll just pour this milk into this mixer.
我要先倒牛奶进搅拌器
It looks like I'm baking, right, Max?
看起来像我在烘焙 对吧 麦克斯
Whoa! Watch what you're doing!
你眼睛看着呀
It's flooding! It's flooding!
淹水啦 发大水啦
Oh, great, you said "flooding."
这就喊淹水呢
What's next, "FEMA?" "Superdome?"
等等喊啥 防灾部跟飓风避难所了吗
This is a disaster.
这真是场灾难
We are the worst team ever.
我们是节目史上最烂的一组了
We are not. What are you doing?
我们才不是呢 你在干嘛
Putting shrimp in my pocket to take home.
偷点虾子带回家啊
We gotta get something out of this.
赢不了也不能空手而回吧
Just start tasting this stuff
赶紧开始试味道
so we can figure out what we're making.
才好决定要做什么小蛋糕啊
That tastes like a foot!
这味道像臭脚似的
And now I'm using some flour.
现在再加点面粉
We use flour when we bake.
我们烘焙时都用面粉
Right, Max?
对吧 麦克斯
Oh, that is hot.
好辣
Ooh, that's too hot.
太辣了
That is hot as the devil's ass!
跟满身火焰的恶魔屁♥股一样烫[辣]
Oh, my mouth is on fire. Where's that foot thing?
我的嘴要烧起来了 那臭脚味的玩意呢
Move over, I'll help you. What is this?
让开 我来帮你 这是什么
It's vanilla.
是香草
It's sweet, Max! It's sweet.
是甜的 麦克斯 是甜的
Now we just have to pick something else.
再选个别的材料就行了
There, ham.
这个吧 火腿
We're making a vanilla ham cupcake.
我们可以做个香草火腿小蛋糕
That's it! Vanilla ham!
就是这个了 香草火腿
You're a vanilla ham!
你就是个香草[白人]猪扒妹
Good, insult me!
很好 继续羞辱我
Yes, you're coming out of it, Max, here we go.
你要恢复正常了 麦克斯 来吧
We're not going anywhere.
我们注定要失败
I'm on my show and I'm losing.
虽然上了我爱的节目 但我要输了
Forget we're on the show.
别想着我们在上节目
Pretend we're in the diner, and Oleg is stoned,
想象我们在餐厅里 奥列格大♥麻抽傻了
and we have all these ingredients
而我们手边有这些材料
and we just got slammed with people who all want cupcakes.
厨房外是一群吵着要小蛋糕的顾客
What do you tell me to do?
你当时怎么教我的
Well, first, I tell you to leave
首先 我会叫你滚蛋
So I can get stoned with Oleg.
我才好跟奥列格一起抽大♥麻
Okay, if I was stoned,
如果我抽傻了
what would I know about soul food?
我会怎么想灵魂食物
Ludacris!
卢达克里斯[黑人说唱歌手]
Is always talking about
他总是在说
how much he loves waffles with chicken.
他有多喜欢松饼加炸鸡早餐
Chicken and waffle cupcake!
炸鸡松饼小蛋糕
Yes! Chicken and waffles!
没错 炸鸡松饼小蛋糕
You better watch it, girls.
你们注意点了 女士们
Here comes chicken and waffles
巨♥乳姐跟装模作样妞联手做的
from big boobs and try hard.
炸鸡松饼小蛋糕要上场了
As Ludacris would say,
卢达克里斯如果在这
move, bitch, get out the way.
他会说 小妞让开 别挡爷的路[歌词]
Let's go, girl. We gotta bring it.
上啊 我们要使出全力
We gotta shut this down. We are bringing our "A" game.
我们要发功 使出十成功力
It's time to put our cupcake business on the map.
是时候将小蛋糕生意名扬天下了
We got this. Oh, my God.
我们一定行 天啊
I said them all.
我把烂句全了说一遍
Empty the mixer. We still have time.
清空搅拌器 我们还有时间
Look at the blonde dumb dumb.
瞧这金发傻蛋
Congratulations, Max!
恭喜你啊 麦克斯
Sophie, we didn't get it.
苏菲 我们没赢
Oh, congratulations, Caroline!
恭喜你啊 卡洛琳
Sophie, I told you, we didn't get picked.
苏菲 我说了 我们没被选上
What am I supposed to do,
那你要我怎么办
walk around with a purse full of confetti?
揣着整包的碎纸花 啥事不干吗
I'm so sorry, ladies.
我很遗憾 姑娘们
But you know what they say,
但常言道
when God closes a door, you work here.
当上帝关上了门 你就来这工作"
It just wasn't our day.
就只是出师不利嘛
We got flustered at first,
刚开始我们惊慌失措
but we did end up making a great cupcake.
但我们最后还是做出了好蛋糕啊
Oh, say it.
就承认吧
We got hit by hurricane Katrina.
我们被卡特里娜飓风袭击了
True. Hard to believe,
的确 虽然不想相信
but the other team had a better brand.
但另一对的品牌特色更加出色
Oh, please.
拜托哦
Blaming it on a disaster from years ago.
把失败怪罪于多年之前的天灾
Well, Sophie, you weren't there, so I don't think you
苏菲 当时你又不在 你哪能...
Oh, I don't want to hear it!
我不想听
I mean, you had huge opportunity with duza day.
本来你们有大好的接活机会
But you passed on the real job
但你们不干这正经活
waiting for your big break on the TV show,
选择不切实际的上电视找突破
Just like everyone else in America.
你们美国人都这样
So you tried to take a shortcut to success
想靠旁门左道 走捷径取得成功
and you end up with a mouth full of confetti.
下场就是满嘴的碎纸花
Sophie's right.
苏菲说得对
We went on television with the ridiculous expectation
我们上电视就只是心里想着能
that we'd make it overnight.
不努力就轻松成功
But that's not who we are.
但这条路不适合我们
We're gonna have to do it the hard way.
我们只能靠苦干实干
Slow and steady.
稳扎稳打
The tortoise and the whore.
走慢乌龟与骚鸡鸡路线
Well, what can I say, "Caramel?"
我能说啥呢 "糖裸淋"
By the way, that's your whore name.
对了 这是你的"艺名"
Looks like it's back to selling cakes
看来我们还是得用老方法
one car at a time.
慢慢"叫卖"小蛋糕了
I'll just put these "Ludacris specials" in the display case.
我把"卢达克里斯小蛋糕"放展示盒里吧
You do that, "Cinnamon."
行啊 "肉贵姐"
Oh, no, I actually have a whore name,
别乱取 我已经有"艺名"了
And that's not it.
不是你取的那个
What is it?
那是啥
Max. Duh.
卖客湿啊 废话