筹备开蛋糕店

Okay, everyone, time to divvy up.
各位 分赃的时间又到了
What's in the lost and found box.
看看失物箱里都有些什么
If my dignity's in there, tell it i said, what up?
箱子里要是有我的羞耻心 替我向它打声招呼
This is my favorite day of the month.
这是我每个月最喜欢的一天
Oh, god, i've fallen so far so fast.
天啊 我堕落太快太深了
You haven't fallen that far.
没这么严重啦
First item, a scrunchie.
第一件 头发箍
I need that! Give me!
我要了 快给我
I think i hit my bottom.
我堕落到底了
Okay, next item.
好啦 下一件
A pregnancy test.
测孕棒
That's empty.
那是空的
What? I had two free minutes, and you never know.
干嘛 我刚好没客人啊 验一下以防万一嘛
Can we move this along?
能快点进行吗
I'm an old man, and i need to get to bed.
我一老人家 需要休息了
You are late to meet woman for hot date.
你约会要迟到了
You know it.
还是你聪明
A wallet and...
一个钱包
No money.
里面没钱
What? If i was pregnant, I needed it for the baby.
干嘛 要是我怀孕了就需要那钱呐
And finally for the sixth month in a row...
最后是连续六个月的常客
The wig.
假发
The wig!
假发
Han, it's your turn.Han
这次到你了
We have all put it on except you.
除了你我们都戴过了
If i had to take a picture in it,You have to take a picture in it.
要是我得戴着照相 你也要这么做
Okay, fine.
好吧
Man, I'm a fun boss.
天啊 我这老板太有幽默感了
Oh, sorry, sir. We're closed.
对不起 先生 我们打烊了
I was just checking if i left my toupee here.
我只是来看看我的假发是不掉这儿了
Take the picture quick.
赶紧照相
I got it. Here it is.
我拿到了 在这儿
The new martha stewart living.
新一期的Martha Stewart生活杂志
I ran so fast, the librarian said,
我跑太快了那图书管理员说
Stop running in the library, and i almost said,
不许在图书馆内奔跑 而我差点想说
This is different. I'm stealing.
这不一样 我偷书呢
Why are you still even looking through martha stewart living every month?
为什么你每个月还要看这本杂志啊
Cause we might be mentioned in it.
因为里面可能会提到我们
Martha said she hadn't forgotten about us.Martha
说她并没有忘记我们
That's what my mother said,
我妈有次也是那么说的
But i spent a whole day and night in that school parking lot.
可我在学校停车场呆了一整天她也没来
Silver lining
结果就是
I still know the whole rap part to tlc's waterfalls.
我现在还能背出TLC那首 Waterfalls的口白部分歌词
Well, i'm still holding out hope we're in this,
我对我们还一直抱有希望
Even though i've been hurt two months in a row.
虽然已经两期杂志都落空了
Oh, god, am i in an abusive relationship with a lifestyle guru?
天啊 我这是被一个 生活品味大师给制约了吗
Okay, let's get this over with.
好吧 看了好让你死心
How to make him love your salmon.
如何让他喜欢你做的三文鱼
How to make him love your stretch marks.
如何让他爱上你的妊娠纹
Hey, he just doesn't love you.
瞧 他就是不爱你
Activia ad, activia ad, activia ad.
广告 广告 还是广告
We get it, jamie lee. You poop a lot.
知道了Jamie Lee 你拉了很多屎
注释：Jamie Lee Curtis 代言过的促进消化优格广告 嘲笑知名影星
Get your oven martha Clean, max's something cupcakes
Martha 教你清烤炉 Max什么 什么蛋糕
Scarf, scarf, scarf.
围巾 围巾 围巾
Wait, max's cupcakes?
等会儿Max的蛋糕?
You just said, max's something cupcakes.
你刚刚说Max什么什么蛋糕
I did?
有吗
Wow, my ears are so not used to anything good coming out of my mouth.
从我嘴里说出好话还真不习惯
There. There. Look.
这里 看
max's homemade cupcakes is a williamsburg must Have.Max
自制杯子蛋糕 威廉斯堡必尝之物
What's this? What's my face doing?
这是什么 我的脸怎么了
You're smiling, max. No way!
你在笑啊Max 不可能
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. It's a blurb.
上帝啊 天啊 我们上了杂志
Everyone, we got a blurb in martha stewart living.
各位Martha Stewart生活杂志 介绍我们了
Can i get some more coffee?
我能再要些咖啡吗
Are you insane?
你脑子没病吧
Hey, everyone.
嗨 你们好
What's the excitement?
什么事这么高兴
Is it 'cause i'm here?
是因为我来了吗
Sophie, look, max's homemade cupcakes
Sophie你看Max自制杯子蛋糕
Got a blurb in martha stewart living.
上了Martha Stewart生活杂志
Oh, that's funny,
真凑巧呢
Cause i got a blurb in new york apartment life.
我也上了纽约公寓杂志的版面
Look. Sophie's choice cleaning service
看 苏菲的选择家政服务
They clean like their life depends on it.
清洁的好像自己以此维生一样
Well, that's not exactly the same.
那不完全是一回事
No, 'cause, look, i got three plungers.
当然不 你看 他们给我评了三个马桶吸盘
Yeah, but i didn't want to brag.
我可不想显摆
That must be andy wondering if i'm coming over to have sex tonight.
一定是Andy问我今晚能不能去他那做♥爱
Could my life get any better?
我的人生真是棒极了
Oh, my god. It could get better.
天啊 我的人生变更棒了
There are, like, ten cupcake orders here.
这里有差不多十个订单呢
Birthday, baby shower, bris.
生日 新生儿派对 割礼
Can we do a bris?
我们可以做割礼生意吗
Sure. I'll just make a little rosette foreskin and write around the outside,
当然 我会弄个玫瑰色包皮 然后写上
Congratulations on not terrifying women in 20 years.
祝贺你20♥年后不会吓到女孩
Hey, andy.
嗨Andy
Hi, candy.
嗨 糖果
Did you see it?
你看了吗
Did you see the new martha stewart living?
你看了新一期的Martha Stewart生活杂志吗
Oh, sorry, no.
不好意思 没有
I still have to get through my glamour and modern bride.
我还要先看《魅力》和《新娘》杂志 （皆为美国女性杂志)
And i had sisters, so i'm allowed to know those names.
我有姊妹 所以才会知道那些名字
A williamsburg must Have. Nice.
威廉斯堡必尝之物 不错
You know i feel the same way about you.
我对你也有同样感觉 知道吗
Aw, cute, but it really doesn't mean anything
嘴真甜 不过除非你这句也登上杂志了
Unless it's in a blurb.
不然实在毫无意义
I couldn't wait to show this to you.
我迫不及待想给你看这个
I'm so glad you were here late doing inventory.
真开心你还留在这盘点
Yeah, you know, it's the weirdest thing.
有件事很奇怪
The only thing i can't account for
只有一件我怎么也数不对
Is one missing elvis pez dispenser, max.
少了一个猫王的Pez糖果盒 Max (知名糖果品牌)
Um, i don't know what you're talking about, but...
我不知道你在说什么 不过
Thank you. Thank you very much.
非常感谢你
Can we please get back to the blurb?
能回到刚才的话题吗
Sorry. You're right.
对不起 你说的对
I should have made a bigger deal about it.
我应该多关注你说的事
It's just I've been a little freaked out.
不过我有点惊魂未定
We had some big drama here today.
今天发生了件严重的事
Drama in a candy store?
糖果店发生严重事?
Did the yogurt Covered craisins finally realize
是裹优格的葡萄干总算意识到
How stupid they are and commit mass suicide?
自己有多傻然后跑去自杀了?
No, but seriously they pulled some bodies
说真的 今晚他们从对面那
Out of the closed Down soup kitchen across the way tonight.
施粥处搬离的店面 拖出了几具尸体
So now we're completely off the blurb?
现在是完全不谈这介绍啦?
Some guys broke in. A bunch of people got shot.
有人闯了进来 好些人中枪了
Apparently, it was a drug deal gone wrong.
显然是毒品交易出了差错
Oh, my god. That's horrible.
天哪 这太可怕了
I know. Why can't a drug deal ever go right?
是啊 为啥交易毒品不能正经点
Hey, they said it was a real bloodbath.
他们说现场血迹四溅
I want to see it!
我要去看
Oh, okay, so i'm closing the magazine then?
好吧 那我把杂志合上了?
Max, you can't go in there.Max
你不能进去
It's a crime scene. There's police tape.
那是犯罪现场 有警察封条
Is she magic?
她也太奇妙了吧
One of my mom's boyfriends used to rob electronic stores.
我妈的某任男友曾抢过电器商店
He took me once for my birthday.
过生日时他带我去了一次
There should be a light switch around here.
这应该有灯的开关
Oh, my god. Oh, that's really gross.
哦 天 真恶心
That's the greatest thing i've ever seen!
这是我见过最棒的东西
Take a picture of me over here.
帮我在这儿拍张照
I finally have a reason to join instagram.
我终于找到理由晒图片了
People are gonna be like,
人们在看时会这样
food, food, Cat, food, nails, nails, murder?
吃的 吃的 猫儿 吃的 美甲 美甲 谋杀?
Guys, i can't be in here.
两位 我不能待在这里
I get queasy if the meat juice touches my peas.
我连肉汤跟豆子搅在一起都会恶心
Is this your first blood splatter?
这是你第一次见到飞溅的血?
Jeez, someone's a princess.
某人长在温室里啊
Man, they are never gonna be able to rent this place now.
这下没人会租这地方了
I'm gonna go over to my store and put blood on the walls
我也必须回去洒些血在我店里
So max will like it more.
这样Max才会更喜欢
Max, look around.Max
看看周围
Are you thinking what i'm thinking?
你跟我想的一样吗
Yup.
是啊
The shooter stood here,
枪手站在这儿
And, based on the blood splatter,
根据血液飞溅情况看
He was short and walked with a limp.
他个子不高 而且是瘸子
And his name was mad dog.
而且他名叫疯狗
Cause i want that to be his name.
因为我喜欢这名字
No, max, you know how we've always wanted our own shop?
不Max 我们不是一直想开店吗
This is it.
就是这儿了
This is max's homemade cupcakes.
Max自制杯子蛋糕
这儿就是
Oh. Yeah, i see that.
没错 我懂了
And we can put our red velvets over there
我们可以把红丝绒杯子蛋糕放那边
By the random skull fragments.
就摆在头骨碎片旁边
Besides, i thought our shop was gonna be in manhattan.
我还以为我们的店会开在曼哈顿
Manhattan's over.
曼哈顿过时了
Williamsburg is the new hot area,
威廉斯堡是冉冉升起的新星
And besides martha's blurb says we're a williamsburg must Have,
况且Martha在推荐里说到 我们是威廉斯堡必尝之物
So we must have this space.
我们必定要租下这地方
No, we must have the money.
不 我们必定要有钱才能承租
I mean, this place has got to be, like, $4,000 a month.
看看这地方 一个月至少要四千美元
Was. Was $4,000 a month.
曾经 曾经一个月四千
That was the pre Tragedy price.
那是悲剧发生前的租金
When people die, it's a buyer's market.
当出人命时 就是买方市场了
You want to rent a room in that shining hotel now,
记不记得你想住的那家豪华旅店
It's, like, 50 bucks a night.
现在也就50块一晚了
Well, obviously i wanna start a business
我当然想开店
In a place where there was a shooting spree.
还是在枪杀现场
And, if we go with red, it's half painted.
连墙壁也不用全刷 一半都已经是红的了
But where are we gonna get the money?
但我们从哪儿弄到钱?
This blurb is our money in the bank.
这推荐就有如我们的银行账户
Oh, yeah, that's another thing we don't have.
是啊 我们还缺一样东西
A bank.
一间银行
There are places set up by women
其实有些女性机构
Specifically to support other women's small businesses.
专门支持广大女同胞的事业起步
I'm talking girl On Girl financing.
我说的是姐妹互挺贷款
That's hot.
太情♥色了吧
But i don't care how much money they offer us.
无论她们贷给我们多少钱
I'm not braiding anyone's hair.
我才不给谁编辫子呢
But are we ready?
但我们准备好了吗
Okay, yes.
好 你说的对
This is a big leap of faith,
这进展确实有点快了
but we're getting in lots of orders now thanks to the blurb.
但多亏这宣传我们拿到了很多订单
And what's the worst thing that could happen?
还会发生什么坏事呢?
Um, maybe these could be our brains.
这些有可能是我们的脑袋
No, not gonna happen. We're gonna kill it.
才不会呢 我们会杀爆全场的
No disrespect to any spirits
小女在此无意冒犯
Still trying to find their way into the light.
附近尚在徘徊的鬼魂
I'll figure out a place,
我来找地方
and we'll go first thing in the morning.
明天一早就去
Find something business Y to wear, less cleavage.
记得穿商务正装 别露事业线
Oh, these are all business.
这才是真正的事业所在
Great, i'm gonna go find andy.
我去找Andy了
What is it about real estate that makes you wanna dry hump?
怎么讨论到房地产我就欲♥火焚身了
Max, i'm so excited.Max
我太激动了
We're getting our dream.
我们的梦想要实现了
You look like you want a hug.
看来你想抱一个
I do.
我很想
Good night.
晚安
Max's homemade cupcakes,Max
自制杯子蛋糕
You're up.
到你了
Caroline, why didn't you pick up?Caroline
你怎么不接电话?
They just called us early,
他们提早叫我们了
and i don't know what to write on the paper.
我不知道该在纸上写什么
And i feel like an idiot, my boobs are suffocating,
感觉傻极了 我的胸快憋死了
And the only business thing i could find was han's blazer.
我能找到的唯一正装 就是Han的西装外套
It's itchy, and there's a piece of paper in the pocket with his name on it.
穿着很痒 口袋里还有张写着他名字的纸条
Why would he have that?
那又是啥鬼
Max's homemade cupcakes,Max
自制杯子蛋糕
Time is money.
时间就是金钱
Um, here.
我在这
But our appointment's not for another 20 minutes.
但我们预约时间是20分钟后
Have a seat.
请坐
Cool place.
这地方真强大
Women's small businesses.
女性的事业起步
Sisters doing it for themselves.
姐妹们互帮互助
Well, i'm doing it for the medical benefits.
我来工作只是为了健保而已
Go. Oh, now?
说吧 现在吗?
Before she gets here?
不等她了?
Um, well, i'm not really much of a business person.
我不是标准的商务人士出身
Great way to start a business loan application.
很好的申请贷款的开头
Go!
继续
You have a minute.
你只有一分钟
Okay, well, um...
好吧 额...
how much time do i have now?
我还有多久时间
Slightly less than a minute.
少于一分钟
Okay, uh, my business partner
好 我的商业伙伴应该
could explain this better than me, but i'll try.
可以解释的更好 但我会努力的
We have a cupcake business.
我们有个杯子蛋糕的生意
And we bake cupcakes in my roommate's bedroom.
我目前在我室友的卧室烤蛋糕
I can't hear you.
我听不清
You want to write it down, draw it, shape it in clay?
你想写出来 画出来 还是用黏土捏出来
I would have filled this out more,
我本想把这个填全的
But that chick over there wouldn't let me cheat off her.
但那边那小妞不让我抄
She's not a girl's girl, know what i mean?
她不是那种好说话的 你明白不
Very professional.
非常专业
Under past loan repayment,
先前还款纪录
You put, paid todd back all the beer money i owed.
你写的是 还清欠Todd的所有酒钱
To be fair, he was drunk all the time.
实话实说 他永远都不醒酒啊
I could have just said i did.
我本可以骗他我早还清了
Points for honesty.
这证明了我的诚实
Let's get you a new loan application.
让我给你拿张新申请表
Just got your message. The one time i don't come early.
刚收到你的短信 我就这次没有早到
Speaking of that, i just had the most amazing orgasm.
说到这个 我刚刚到了一个最棒的高潮
I mean, we've been having really great sex,
我是说 我们做♥爱一直很棒
But this morning, i could not get enough of his
但今早 我就是要不够他的...
Projected growth ratio investment analysis.
项目增长率投资分析
Hello, caroline channing. Wharton class of '09.
你好 我是Caroline Channing 沃顿商学院09级
That's our business proposal.
这是我们的项目计划书
And i would be a little embarrassed About what just happened
还好我们都是好姊妹
if i didn't know That we're all just girls here.
不然刚刚那样就难为情了
Can we move this along?
我们能继续了吗
I got a busted toilet and a pregnant dog at home.
我家里厕所堵着 还有个怀了孕的老狗
Why didn't you tell me she was under there?
你为什么不告诉我她在桌子下面?
Oh, sorry, i wasn't expecting a monologue
不好意思哈 我真没预料到你会来段
From confessions of a call girl.
应♥召女郎的日记的独白
I'm afraid we're gonna have to deny the loan.
恐怕我们不能批准贷款了
Why? Because she had a good orgasm?
为什么 就因为她有很棒的高♥潮?
Isn't that what the '70s was about for you gals?
你们年轻时候不也有过吗
You have no business history.
你们没有经营背景
And that's a requirement for us.
这对我们是必须要求
Well, i think we're done here.
好吧 我想我们没戏了
Yeah. I just said that.
是的 我刚就是这么说的
I thought you guys were About supporting small women's business.
我以为你们是支持女性小生意的
And this small woman's bidness needs support
今天她被♥操了这么久之后
After the pounding it took today.
本该用上你们的支持的
Max. Let's go.Max
我们走吧
Okay, there's a bank in new hampshire
好的 新罕布什尔新开了家银行
That doesn't check anything.
那什么都不查
And before someone else grabs our cupcake space,
趁还没人租走我们的那店面
I say we get on a bus and go up there.
咱们得快坐公车去那
They won't give out their exact address,
他们不肯给详细地址
But i know they're in a mini mall with a white castle.
但我知道他们在一个 带白色城堡的小商场里
Better idea.
更好的主意
I went to craigslist,
我查了下Craigslist分类广告网
Clicked on etc and found
点了下其他
All kinds of opportunities to make some cash.
找到了各种赚现金的机会
I'm fighting the instinct to weep, but keep going.
我尽量克制不哭出来 继续吧
At first i thought i might call pit pig.
开始 我想找腋窝猪
He just wants his armpits smelled,
他只是想让人闻他的腋窝
But that's, like, 1,000 sniffs.
不过 貌似要闻1000次
Big commitment.
太沉重了
Or there's the weirdo looking for pretty amputees,
或者 这有个怪咖想找漂亮截肢妹
But that feels like a bigger commitment.
不过 这个貌似更沉重
So, check it.
所以 看这个
Egg donors needed. Ten to twenty grand.
求捐献卵子 一到两万美元
No way, i could never sell my eggs.
不行 我绝不卖我的卵子
I mean, wouldn't you hate to think You had a kid out there and not know it?
你不觉得自己在外头 有个不认识的亲孩子很糟糕吗
I probably do.
我说不定早有了
In 2006, i invented the four loko and robitussin smoothie.
2006年 我发明了Four Loko与诺比舒咳奶昔 (前者为含酒精饮料 后者为咳嗽糖浆)
It's pretty much a blackout year.
我一整年几乎是无意识状态
Seriously, for the right price i'd sell 'em all.
真的 如果价钱合适 我可以全卖掉
Really? I mean, i know you've always been tough.
真的? 我知道你一直很强悍
To hear you tell it, you were part Of an underground baby fight club.
听你说过你曾是个地下婴儿拳击手
But don't you wanna be a mom some day?
但你永远不想当妈吗?
In the history of the world,
在整个人类历史上
Give me one example of a really good mother.
给我举个真正的好妈妈的例子
You're putting me on the spot. All i can think of is hilary duff.
你真是难为我了 我满脑子想的都是Hilary Duff(影歌星)
Look, you're complicating this With these things you call emotions.
听着 你在用所谓的感情复杂化这些事
Like it or not...
不管你喜不喜欢...
I'm an egg farm.
我就是个产卵农场
Because we don't know one single person outside of new hampshire
因为我们在新罕布什尔之外
Who can lend us that kind of money.
根本不认识能借我们钱的人
Yoo Hoo, girls, look out the window.
呦呼 女孩们 看外面
Up here! It's me!
上面呢 是我
Oleg and i would like two cupcakes please.Oleg
和我需要两个杯子蛋糕 谢谢
I feel weird asking sophie for money.
找Sophie要钱 我仍觉得很怪
And how do we even know she has any?
而且 我们怎么知道她到底有没有钱
Well, she's building her dream house in poland
她在波兰时在前集中营和新墙之间
Between a former death camp and a new w.
建了她的梦想屋啊
She's gotta be loaded.
她肯定很有钱
And sophie's the kind of woman who understands our dreams.
而且Sophie属于能理解我们梦想的人
Come in.
请进
That's exactly what i thought would be On the other side of that door.
站在门外时 我就知道会看见这景象
Oleg, sweetie, we have company.Oleg
亲爱的 有客人呀
I brought you an ass pillow.
我给你带了个屁♥股枕
Nice to see you like this outside of work, girls, no?
很高兴在下班时间见到你们 女士们 对吧?
No.
不对
Girls, did you see my big hanging thing?
女士们 看见我的大型挂饰了吗
Yeah, we kinda just saw it.
呃 我们貌似刚看见
No, i'm talking about my new ch Andelier for my lake house.
不 我说的是我湖景房的新吊吊灯
Yeah, i can totally see you drinking ch Ardonnay under it.
对 我完全可以想像 你站在下面
注释：喝夏 夏敦埃酒(起音类似)
max, you are so funny.Max
你真是太逗了
She's a real ch Aracter.
她就是有性 性格(起音类似)
Yeah, that's not a word.
拜托 那就不是个单词
Okay, well, we just wanted to bring you
好吧 我们就是照常
Some more cupcakes for free, per usual,
给你再拿些免♥费纸托蛋糕来
And perhaps talk about a possible business venture.
然后也许讨论下可能的商业投资
sorry, girls. I have two rules in life:
不好意思 姐妹们 我人生有两大原则:
Never drink from the same well as a gypsy
绝不像吉普赛人那样在同一口井中喝水
And never lend money to friends.
和绝不借钱给朋友
And, max, you are my friend.
Max 你是我的朋友
Okay, well, we were just checking, but thanks anyway.
好的 而我们就是问问 还是谢了
But, sophie, just hear us out. It's a wonderful opportunity,
但Sophie 你先听一下 这是个绝好的机会
And we'll of course pay you back with interest.
我们绝对会连本带利的还给你的
Okay, buh Bye.
好的 回见了
Let's go. We tried it. Now it's Time.
我们走吧 我们试过了 是时候...
You are not harvesting your body for money.
你不能出卖身体赚♥钱
What's the big deal?
有什么大不了的
I sold two kidneys for a down payment on my house.
我卖了两个肾才交出房子的首付
Not true. You need at least one to live.
不可能 你需要一个肾才能存活
Oh, well, they weren't mine.
哦 我卖的两颗都不是我的
Well, you know what we have to do.
你知道我们该干嘛吗
Let's get the bawk out of here.
我们该离开这
And you're sure you're okay With selling your eggs, right?
你卖卵子没问题吧
Totally. What do i care? I've got a million of 'em.
没问题 我还在乎什么 我有上万个呢
I'm happy to lose a few. More room for beer.
少掉几个也好 空位子出来喝酒用
Lose some eggs, more room for beer.
捐些卵子 空位子出来喝酒
It's crazy that's not their slogan.
真该拿来作为宣传语
So what'd they ask you on the application?
他们调查表上都问什么了
You know, income, hobbies,
你知道的 收入 爱好
Did you ever have sex in africa?
有没有在非洲进行过性行为
I wish.
我倒想呢
The closest i ever got was a dude once
最接近的一次就是有个男的
Put his hand up my skirt in an ethiopian restaurant.
在一埃塞俄比亚餐厅里用手摸我下面
You know, now that we're here,
知道吗 我们到了这之后
I think it's kind of wonderful that places like this exist
我觉得能有这么一个地方 让没法生孩子的人
To help women who can't have babies have babies.
有孩子是个很不错的事情
Hey, you think they take points off for syphilis?
嘿 你们觉得有梅毒会不会减分
Max, i think it's really nobleMax
我觉得你为了我们的梦想
What you're doing to get our dream.
这么做真的很高尚
This is a very special day.
这真的是很特别的一天
How do you spell chlamydia?
衣原体怎么写
Well, no ks,
恩 不是圆圈的圆哦
And i personally wouldn't heart the i.
而且我也不会把原写的那么圆
Oh, thanks. And do i gotta put here if my brother touched a kid?
哦 谢谢 我需要把我哥曾猥亵过小孩子写上吗
Max black.
Max Black
Thank you for your interest, But i'm afraid we're gonna have to pass.
谢谢你能来 但是我们可能不能收你
Why? I didn't have sex in africa.
为什么 我又没在非洲做过爱
Yes, i know, that was your one plus,
是的 我知道 那是你的加分项
But under family history,
但是在填家庭史的时候
You put drinking and secrets.
你写的是酗酒和秘密
I was being honest.
我很诚实啊
Yeah, maybe too honest, because under education
恩 也许太诚实了 因为教育程度那一栏
You wrote, jeopardy reruns,
你写的是Jeopardy!重播 (美国经♥典益智问答节目) (Jeopardy!节目主持人)
And we're really looking for college graduates.
而我们找的是大专毕业生
Jeez, i'll take elitist for 500, alex.
老天Alex 我要值500元的精英题
Sorry, we're looking for girls That come from ivy league schools
对不起 我们要找的是从常春藤毕业的女生
And have impressive family backgrounds.
并且还有显耀的家庭背景
Maybe her eggs didn't go to wharton
也许她的卵子没有上沃顿商学院
And graduate at the top of their class like i did,
像我一样以前几名的成绩毕业
But just look at her.
但是看看她
Who wouldn't want a baby with such strength, beauty,
谁不想要一个这么强大 美丽
And a rack so great it could breast Feed itself?
胸大到都能自己喂饱自己的孩子呢
You went to wharton?
你上的是沃顿?
We pay $20,000 for ivy league eggs.
我们给常春藤毕业生的卵子付两万美元
Wow, we're taking blood already?
哇 我们这就要抽血啦
I guess going to wharton does put you on the fast track.
看起来上沃顿的确有很多好处
Just part of the process to become a donor.
只是成为捐献者的一部分而已
I'm gonna go get some vials, and i'll be right back.
我去拿些管子 很快回来
It's so cool of you to do this.
你能这么做真是太酷了
It says a lot about you.
这表示你是个不自私的人
You know what says a lot about me?
你知道这表示我是什么样的人吗
The fact that i know she tied you off wrong.
我是个经验丰富知道她绑歪了的人
I'm happy to do it. It's a small price to pay to make our dream come true.
我很高兴这么做 为了我们的梦想 这不算什么
I'm doin' this to pay down some debt.
我这么是为了还债
I'm real deep 'cause of powerball.
我对彩票太入迷了
Whoa, dude, how did you get through?
哇 伙计 怎么落到这地步
I went to harvard. I'm like crazy Good at math.
我上的是哈佛 数学学的那叫一个好
Max, she's making me nervous. Close the curtain.Max
她让我很紧张 把帘子拉上
And frankly, i'm a little resentful. I didn't get into harvard.
坦白的说 我有点眼红 我没考上哈佛
Are you sure you're okay with this? 'Cause you seem a little jumpy.
你确定你这么做没事? 你看起来有点害怕
No, i'm fine. They're just taking a little blood.
没事 我很好 他们就是抽点血而已
Or from the looks of it, They're taking all of it.
可是看来他们是要抽光我所有的血
There better be a nice juice and a cookie after this.
在这之后最好有很好吃的饼干和果汁
Please relax. It's only eight vials.
请放松 只有8管而已
They gotta take a lot to make sure they don't get a kid
他们会取很多血 确保不会产个
With, like, another kid growing out of it.
那种连体的畸形胎
Max, this all just got very real. Hold my hand.Max
这下子变得好真实 握住我的手
You know i don't hold hands.
你知道我不握手的
Oh, you lesbians are so high maintenance.
喔 你们这些女同真是难伺候
Please?
求你了
You don't think i'm gonna give away My best egg, right?
你觉得我会不会 把我最好的卵子捐出去了
I'm not gonna give away the concert pianist
我不会把钢琴演奏家的孩子给出去
And get stuck with the guy who breaks into homes
结果得到一个爱闯入民宅
And smells women's underwear?
又爱闻女生内♥裤的吧?
Well, either way, you got a kid with a passion.
无论如何 你的孩子都找到了自己的热情所在呢
But you don't have to do this.
但你不需要这么做
No, i can do this. It's for our dream.
不 我能做到 为了我们的梦想
But you don't have to do this.
但你不需要这么做
I can do this. Put it in.
我能做到 扎进来吧
It's already in. I can't do this.
已经扎进去了 我做不到
I'm not trashy, i'm not some farm animal.
我又不廉价 又不是什么农场的牲口
Oh! Oh, my god!
哦 哦 我的天啊
Oh, my god. I am so, so sorry!
哦 天啊 太对不起了
You know what would be cute here? A cupcake store.
你知道在这弄个什么会很好么? 杯子蛋糕店
Hi, max. Oh, it's chilly outside.
嘿Max 外面真冷
Nipples everywhere.
到处都是激凸
Have a seat. I'll be right over.
坐吧 我马上就去
Oh, that's okay. I texted my order in on the way.
哦 没事 路上的时候我把菜单发来了
okey, baby, I got your text.
好的 宝贝 收到你的短信了
Did you get my erotic haiku?
收到我的色情俳句了么
I did.
收到了
Did you get the picture i sent of me and the dustbuster?
你收到我和吸尘器的照片了么
No, i didn't.
不 没有啊
Oh, no, grandpa yorgish!
Yorgish爷爷
哦 不
Look. Earl framed our blurb.
看 Earl把咱们的介绍裱起来了
He did? That is so sweet.
真的吗 他太好了
What?
怎么了?
I always saw it as bigger on the wall in our shop.
我本来想放大挂在我们店里的
Look, the shop is an amazing idea,
听着 开店是个很棒的主意
And, if it's not that space right now, It'll be another.
如果现在那店面不适合 还会有其他店面的
I mean, there have to be mass murders All over brooklyn, right?
我是说 布鲁克林时常有大规模谋杀案的 对吧
If we're lucky.
如果我们走运的话
And, even if it didn't work out,
而且 就算这事最后没成
It's still the closest i've ever come To something great, and that's cool.
这也是我离这么棒的
事情 最近的一次了 已经很酷了
And someday we'll find someone crazy enough to lend us money.
而且 会有一天有个疯子
I say that because, if you can convince me to believe a dream,
我说这话是因为 如果你能让
我相信这个梦想
You can get anyone.
你就能说服任何人
Pickup.
上菜了
Here you go, sophie. That's $11.25.
给你 Sophie 一共11.25美元
Oh, you take a check, right?
哦 你们收支票吧?
This is for $20,000.
这是两万美元
Oh, is it? I thought it was for $20.
哦 真的吗 我以为是二十美元呢
Oh, well. Keep it.
哦 恩 收着吧
Maybe you could use it for your dream, Or
也许你们可以用来实现梦想 或是
to get your legs waxed, or something.
给大腿除毛什么的
Sophie, are you serious? Yes. Sophie
你是认真的么? 是的
Sophie, this is really, really amazing.
Sophie 这真的太棒了 真的太棒了
Oh, come on. I don't need a parade.
哦 别了 不用这么大的阵仗
Just keep the cupcakes coming.
记得常送蛋糕来就好了
Max, do you know what this means?Max
你知道这是什么意思么?
We are going to be a williamsburg must Have.
我们真要成了威廉斯堡必尝之物
We're getting our dream.
我们要梦想成真了
I feel like you want a hug.
看来你想抱一个
I do.
确实是