三个人的旅行

I like the lemon. So good.
爱死这柠檬味了 太美妙
And with the vanilla frosting,
配上香草糖霜
It would make a lovely cupcake wedding cake.
就是人见人爱的婚丧喜庆必备小蛋糕
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
天啊天啊天啊
The chocolate!
这巧克力
You do realize you're not alone, right? I know.
你知道你旁边还有别人吧 我知道啊
I'm gonna get some water,
我去喝两口水
and then I'll be back to taste everything!
然后就回来继续试所有小蛋糕
There's no wedding.
她才没要结婚呢
What? It's a scam.
什么 她是来骗蛋糕吃的
I know her game.
她这套路老娘清楚
There isn't a Denny's on the eastern seaboard
东海岸各地所有丹尼斯连锁餐厅
I haven't hit up and said it's my birthday
姐全都去假装过当天是我生日
for a free sundae.
就为了吃免♥费圣代
Well, what if you're wrong,
那要是你误会人家
and she is the real deal?
她真要结婚呢
A cupcake wedding cake could be a lot of money.
承包一个婚礼的小蛋糕能赚不少钱呢
We have to crack her B.S.
再她又回来白吃蛋糕前
before she eats our cupcakes, and then us.
我们得先戳穿这胡扯新娘才行
Follow my lead.
看姐的
Oh! What are we tasting now?
接下来要试哪一个呢
Coconut.
椰子味的
What's your fiance's name? Doug Franklin.
你未婚夫姓啥名啥 道格·富兰克林
Where'd you meet? He's a fireman.
怎么认识的 他是个消防员
He rescued my cat.
他救过我的猫
No, aw. That's an insurance commmmercia.
少同情了 这是保险广告桥段
So where's the wedding?
婚礼要在哪举行
Barefoot on the beach.
海滩裸足婚礼
That's a tampon commercial.
这是卫生棉条广告桥段
Ooh! Hi, baby!
宝贝 你来啦
Max, you're wrong. They're kissing.
麦克斯 你错了 人家在接吻呢
Nope, he's either an out of work actor she hired,
他要么是她请来的失业男演员
or he has cake in his mouth.
要么就是他嘴里有蛋糕
I have an announcement to make.
我有一件事情要宣布
You found your first "down there" Hair?
你"下面"终于长出第一根毛了吗
No, it's the last chance to put in your business card
不 现在是你们最后放入名片抽奖
to win a luxury weekend vacation.
得到豪华周末游的机会
It's Han's big promo.
是阿憨大抽奖[高调基佬]
Well, he's finally announced it.
他终于正式宣布了
Han's a big promo.
阿憨是个大基佬
Well, he's a little promo.
他只能算个小基基吧
Good luck, you now have a chance
祝好运啦 你们现在
to win a fancy two room suite in the country,
有机会赢到豪华乡间两室一厅套房
and there's a fireplace because daddy don't skimp.
而且内有壁炉哦 因为小爷特大方
Aw, I miss our fireplace in the country.
我好想念我家乡间屋子的壁炉
My father and I would sit together,
我都会跟老爸坐在壁炉前
and I'd roast marshmallows, and then he'd burn
我烤着棉花糖吃 而他会烧...
what I now realize must've been incriminating documents.
我现在才意识到他以前是在烧文件
Hi, everybody! The raffle girl is here.
各位好 抽奖女郎到啦
Oh, I get to pull the winner!
赢家的名片由我翻出呢
She pulled me twice today,
她今天就翻了我两次"牌"呢
and I won both times.
两次我都"大获全胜"
Sophie, the way you look tonight,
苏菲 你今晚的美貌
we are all winners.
让我们都成为赢家
Oh, Earl, that is so sweet.
厄尔 你嘴真甜
I would kiss you if it was legal.
合法的话 我一定亲死你
All right, I'm going to put in one of my cleaning company cards.
我也要放一张我清洁公司的名片进去
All right.
好啦
Who's gonna be the winner?
赢家会是谁呢
Yeah, yeah, shake it like a polaroid picture, baby.
像甩宝丽来照片一样甩动身躯吧 宝贝
Yeah.
好的
Oh, no, that doesn't feel like my card.
惨了 这张感觉不像是我的名片
Sophie, that's cheating.
苏菲 你这是作弊
Hey, keep out of it, Glinda the good bitch.
好贱♥货格林达 你少管闲事
原为《绿野仙踪》里的好女巫格林达
And the winner is...
赢家就是...
Max's homemade cupcakes?
麦克斯自制小蛋糕
Oh, my God! We won!
我的天啊 我们赢了
Congratulations!
恭喜你们
I've never won anything in my life!
我这辈子从来没赢过任何比赛呢
Except for that time I got stoned
除了有一次我吸毒昏头
and accidentally won that hot dog eating contest.
意外赢了一个热狗大胃王比赛
Wait, how did this even happen?
等等 这怎么可能
Did you put our card in?
你有丢我们的名片进去吗
Actually, I put your card in,
其实是我放入你们名片的
and I took a few out.
而且我还抽了几张起来
I figured you girls could use a vacation.
我觉得你们俩姑娘应该去放个假
You girls been working harder than my liver on payday.
我发薪日大鱼大肉加烟酒 肝都是没你们累
Oh, Earl, you're like Santa
厄尔 你简直就是圣诞老人啊
without the weird fixation on children.
除了你没恋童癖 其他都像
It was so nice of Earl to enter us.
厄尔帮我们参加投票真是太好心了
Oh, stop. He's like my father.
别动歪脑筋 我当他是我爸呢
Wow, this place actually looks nice.
哇 这地方看起来还真不错呢
Ooh, an outhouse!
哇 有茅厕呢
Max, that's a sauna. Oh.
麦克斯 那是桑拿房
Either way, I'm peeing in it.
随便啦 我就要尿在里面
But Max, can we leave the shop?
麦克斯 我们如何丢下小店啊
I mean, even though business has been slow,
虽然生意不是太好
what if Dottie wants to come back
但要是多蒂回来
and order cupcakes for her wedding?
想要下她婚礼的小蛋糕订单怎么办
First off, she ate them all.
首先 早被她吃光了
Second, there is no wedding.
其次 她也没要结婚
She's a B.S. Bride.
她就是个胡扯新娘
I guarantee you, right now,
我跟你保证 她现在
she's crawling through an air conditioning vent
肯定是在爬连锁甜甜圈店的空调管道
at a Krispy Kreme.
想潜进去偷吃呢
Andy in the house!
安迪驾到
Sorry, I was watching a Living Single marathon
抱歉 来之前看了好久的情景喜剧
before I came over.
一时难以自拔
You are not gonna believe this.
说出来你肯定不相信
We won a weekend getaway.
我们赢了周末度假游呢
Isn't that exciting? We really needed this.
超爽的对吧 我们太需要去度假了
That's great!
太好啦
We do need this. Thanks, babe.
我们的确需要这个 谢啦 宝贝
And I was hoping to get a little special
我本来也在计划要跟你共度一个
one on one time with you this weekend.
只属于我们俩人的周末呢
So when do we leave?
我们什么时候出发
Oh, we!
我们
We can leave tomorrow.
我们可以明天出发
We we we all the way there.
我们 我们 我们一起去
Look, Han said it was a two room suite.
阿憨说那是一个两室一厅套房
Andy can come with us.
安迪可以一起来的
It's still our trip.
这旅行还是只属于我们
He doesn't have to know he's the third wheel.
不必让他知道他是电灯泡的事实
Well, you know I'm always a fan of lying,
你知道我最爱骗人了
So I'm in.
当然没问题
It's still our trip.
这旅行还是只属于我们
She doesn't have to know she's the third wheel.
不必让她知道她是电灯泡的事实
Well, you know I'm not a fan of lying,
你知道我最不爱骗人了
But okay, I'm in.
但还是没问题啦
I love a road trip.
我最爱开车旅行了
My mom and I took one in third grade for, like,
我三年级的时候跟我妈开车旅行了一年呢
but we'd just drive around locally and
但我们就只是开车在当地转悠...
Oh, my God, I lived in a car.
靠 那年我们只是住车里
Hey, let's play a card game.
来玩小游戏嘛
I spy something red.
猜猜我看到了什么红色东西
Is it that gas station?
是那个加油站吗
Nope.
不是
Is it that truck? Nope.
是那台卡车吗 不是
Is it boring? Yes! My turn.
是"无聊"吗 是的 换我出题
I spy something annoying.
猜猜我看到了什么烦人东西
Is it me? Yes!
是我吗 没错
I knew the joke was on me,
我就知道你是在损我
but I love to win.
但我就是想赢
You are not annoying. You're adorable.
你才不烦人呢 你可爱死了
I spy a big man gina.
猜猜我看见了什么娘炮东西
Is it me? Yes!
是我咩 没错
Like to win too.
我这人也爱赢
Max's homemade cupcakes.
麦克斯自制小蛋糕
Hello?
您好
Bad cell area.
这附近没信号
Max, I think that might've been Dottie, the B.S. Bride.
麦克斯 可能是多蒂打来呢 胡扯新娘
I couldn't hear the words,
我听不见她说什么
but she sounded unnaturally confident.
但语气中有很不然的自信呢
Maybe the B.S. stands for "Big sale."
人家可能不是胡扯 是胡买呢
No more business calls, okay?
别再接公事电话了 好吗
I thought we were getting away for fun.
我们来度假不是为了放松吗
We are, but our business
是啊 但我们的生意
is nowhere near where we need it to be,
离我们预期目标差了十万八千里
and when it comes to ignoring a call,
所以就这么不理一通生意电话
it's kind of hard.
真的有点难呢
Hey, you know what this area of the mountains is known for?
你们知道这一带山区最出名的是什么吗
Wineries and incest?
酒庄与乱♥伦吗
Alien abductions!
是外星人绑架啦
I know all about it.
我超了解这方面呢
People disappear from here all the time.
无数人都在这片山区中人间蒸发
Max, there's no such thing as an extraterrestrial.
麦克斯 "天外来客"只是无稽之谈
Okay, first, that's something an extraterrestrial would say.
真正的"天外来客"就会这么说
I've always wanted to be abducted.
我一直梦想有天被外星人绑架
And my guidance counselor said I had no goals.
我的咨询顾问居然还骂我这人没目标
And here we go.
就是这间啦
Again, I don't believe in names,
哥认为名号只是云烟
but feel free to call me "Roger" if it helps you.
但不叫不行的话 就叫我罗杰吧
Yeah! Get out! Get out!
哇靠 哇靠
The bed floats! This is awesome!
床是悬空的呢 太酷了
Usually, you gotta bring the ropes to the bed.
通常玩捆绑得自己带绳子上床
This way, you get to eliminate a whole step!
它这样 让我们整整省了一大步骤呢
The bed's sculptural beauty
这床的雕工之美
is actually surpassed by the joy of resting in it.
常被休息于其中的舒适所盖过
Some say it's like being rocked to sleep
有人赞 这就像是在神的怀抱之中
in the arms of god.
摇摆入眠
It's a sex bed, Roger.
就是张性♥爱床嘛 罗杰
May I light the fire for you?
能让我替你们升火吗
Oh, no, thanks. I can do it.
不用 多谢 这我能搞定
I was an eagle scout.
我以前是鹰童军[最高级别童军]
Man, there's just not enough occasions
这件牛事实在是没有太多机会
where I can brag about at.
能让我说出来显摆啊
The room is cute, but really tiny.
房间很有爱 就是有点小
We're gonna need a bigger space,
我们需要大一点的空间呢
unless we're hobbits.
毕竟我们不是哈比人
Is this the door to the adjoining room?
这门是通往相邻房的吗
Well, that is an adjoining room,
那的确通往相邻房
but it's not included in your package.
但那房间并不包含在你们的套餐里
Oh, damn it!
我靠
We should've known Han's package
我们早该想到阿憨说的
was gonna be smaller than he said it is.
绝对比实际的来的"小"
I'm sorry. All the other cabins are booked.
很抱歉 其他小屋也都被订了
I'll bring you some bedding for the couch
我去给你们多拿点睡沙发的寝具
at an additional price.
这要额外加钱哦
Ohm shanti.
大家平安[印度祈文]
Well, I guess you guys are the couple,
好吧 你们才是一对
so I'll sleep on the couch.
我去睡沙发吧
I can sleep anywhere.
我睡哪都行的
First two years of my life,
我刚出生那两年
my bed was a pile of unopened mail.
就是睡在一大叠没读过的信上呢
A big, roaring fire
烧得旺盛的炉火
is gonna be so romantic.
肯定会超级浪漫呢
Come over here closer to me,
过来跟我靠近一点嘛
you big eagle scout.
牛逼鹰童军哥哥
Well, now you sound like my scoutmaster.
你这语气好像我的童军团长
Hey, don't start anything you can't finish in a minute.
不够时间"处理"好 就被乱"开始""啊
Max'll be right out.
麦克斯很快会回来
Something tells me she's not a consistent Hand washer.
不知为何 就感觉她不是好好洗手的那种人
You do your thing.
你忙你的吧
I'm just gonna sit right here,
我就在一边坐好
and watch my man build a fire.
然后看我男人升火
Oh, great, this is cedar!
这是雪松木呢
It's gonna smell so awesome.
烧起来味道很棒
I love falling asleep to the sound of a fire.
我最爱听着柴火燃烧的声音入眠了
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
I know, no business stuff,
我知道不该忙公事
but I just got a text about a big order.
但有人发短信给我要下大单呢
That's fine, just remember this weekend
没事 别忘了这个周末
Oh, I know, me and you.
我知道 我与你
Me and you, me and you
我与你 我与你嘛
Max! Max.
麦克斯 麦克斯
Turns out the B.S. bride isn't B.S.
原来胡扯新娘没胡扯呢
She wants pricing on a wedding cupcake cake,
她来问我们婚礼小蛋糕
and a groom's cupcake cake, for 300 guests.
与新郎的小蛋糕蛋糕了 要供300位宾客呢
Great!
不错
Almost as great as these little fuzzy shoes!
但还比不上这毛绒小鞋鞋呢
They were in a sealed plastic package.
它们被密封在塑料包装里
I'm the first one to ever open them.
而我是第一个拆封的人
They're like condoms for your feet!
简直就像是给脚穿的避孕套呢
New shoes, new shoes
新鞋鞋 新鞋鞋
Where are you going?
你上哪呢
to the sauna.
去桑拿房啊
Hopefully, I'll be abducted on my way,
真希望可以在路上被外星人绑架
but know that even though I'm gone,
我希望你们知道 就算被绑架
I'm happier up there with my alien lover.
我也会跟我的外星爱人过更幸福的日子
True, they don't have lips,
的确 它们没有嘴唇
but they do have crazy long fingers.
但它们有超长的手指可以"服务"我啊
I'll go with you.
我跟你一起去吧
Not to talk about work,
不是去谈公事
but she can't go alone. There might be bears.
但总不能让她自己去 附近可能有熊呢
There were always bears at my chalet in Aspen,
我在瑞士的山中小屋附近就老有熊
in the woods, lying on the floors, everywhere.
在林子里啊 躺地上啊 到处都有熊
You know, until PETA attacked the house.
善待动物组织来过之后 才全没有的
So this is a fancy sauna?
这就是传输中的桑拿房啊
Not impressed.
真不咋地
People pay for the privilege
居然有人愿意花钱
of sitting in decades of ass sweat?
来坐在别人留下的无数屁♥股汗上
How come your towel's staying up
为什么你的毛巾
so much better than mine?
比我的紧那么多
I can think of two reasons.
我能想到"两个"理由
I'm gonna get some water, and then start peeing.
我要去喝点水 好回来开尿了
When you come back, we have to discuss
等你回来 我们还得谈谈
the B.S. Bride's cake.
胡扯新娘小蛋糕一事
We can't screw this up. It's all we have.
这单子不能搞砸啊 就靠这单了
This heat is amazing.
这蒸得太爽了
Mother of God! That's hot.
亲娘地 真烫啊
There are bears out there.
外面有熊呢
They're coming this way. What?
朝这里过来了 什么
Max, get in here! Close the door!
麦克斯 快躲进来 关上门啊
Fine, but they'll just open it and come in.
随便 他们照样会开门进来
Bears can't open doors and walk in.
熊才没办法开门走进来呢
These ones can.
这种熊就可以
Oh, hi. Hey, girls.
好啊 姑娘们好
You mind if we join you?
不介意我们一起蒸吧
You guys are gay bears, right?
你们俩是基熊男 对吧
常指体重较重且大多有茂盛体毛与胡须的同性恋
Max! It's cool.
麦克斯 没事的
My prom date is big in the bear scene now,
我当年舞会的伴现在是熊界一霸呢
but in high school, they just called him a jock
但当年我们高中时 大家都叫他
who cried sometimes.
爱哭的大汉
Yep, we're bears. Big, hairy, not scary.
我们就是熊男 魁梧 毛多 但温顺哦
I'm Deke. This is Dirk.
我是迪克[音似阴♥茎] 我是德克[短剑]
Yup, we're Deke and Dirk.
我们就是"阴剑"双侠
Pause for reaction.
暂停等你们作反应
I'm Caroline, and this is Max.
我是卡洛琳 她是麦克斯
Are you girls lipstick lesbians?
你们是唇膏女同吗[十分女性化的女同]
No, we're just friends,
不是 单纯朋友而已
And we can't afford lipstick.
而且我们也买不起唇膏
Especially at this gift shop.
在他这礼品店就更买不起了
Have you seen the prices?
你们看到东西标价了吗
$25 for chap stick?
25块钱买管护唇膏
Please. No one's lips are that chapped.
谁嘴唇烂到要这么贵的东西护啊
And he would know.
他很懂这方面
This one's the king of face creaming.
他可是面霜[颜♥射]之王呢
A little bit dirtier than what it is.
比那个还肮脏一点哦
I'm actually a dermatologist.
其实我是皮肤科医生啦
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
Do not tell me I'm lucky enough
我不会是有这种天大荣幸
to be in a sauna with two dermatologists.
可以跟两位皮肤科医生共蒸桑拿吧
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
不不不不不
I'm an astrophysicist.
我是个天体物理学家
Oh, smarter than the average bear.
哇 比普通熊男更才高八斗呢
Loving her.
爱死她了
So you know about space stuff, smarty bear.
那想必你很懂太空事物啦 聪明熊
Do you believe in aliens?
你相信外星人的存在吗
Oh, I do, and I believe they're living among us.
当然 而且我相信它们就活在我们之中
I'm looking at you, Christina Ricci!
就是说你呢 克里斯蒂娜·里奇
注释：克里斯蒂娜·里奇 知名女演员 常有人觉得她长得像外星人
So talk to me, Deke. What can you give me?
迪克 你说吧 你哪有什么货能给我啊
He has plenty of free cream samples
他有带一堆面霜试用品来呢
back in our room.
就在我们房里呢
And it's the good stuff. You should come by!
而且都是好货哦 记得来拿
We're in cabin four.
我们就住四号小屋
No way! We're in cabin three.
不是吧 我们住三号小屋呢
How about those rope beds?
那个绳索吊床如何啊
You know it's kinky when the bed is already tied up.
一看床被"捆绑"好 就知道要"色♥色"的了
First, we were all "um, we're gonna fall,"
一开始 我们俩说 "会摔吧"
but then we thought, "what the hell?
但转念一想 "摔就摔吧"
It's our man iversary."
这是我们的基婚纪念日
Aw, you're married?
你们结婚啦
Happy anniversary.
纪念日快乐
Now, let's get back to those free creams.
再来谈谈那免♥费面霜吧
Oh, and here's our card
对了 这是我们名片
if you're ever in the neighborhood
哪天你们刚好来到附近
or need a big order.
或有大单子就来吧
You brought a business card to a sauna?
你蒸个桑拿都带名片来啊
I don't wanna know where you kept that.
我不想知道你怎么"夹"带进来的
Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
麦克斯自制小蛋糕
Or in your case, cub cakes.
或者说是 小熊蛋糕
Loving her. Living for her.
爱死她 爆喜欢她
Wanna come back as her.
都想下辈子投胎变成她了
There you go, your dinner for two.
这是你们的"二人"晚餐
Two soups, two salads, two entrees, two desserts.
两份汤 两份沙拉 两份主菜 两份甜点
I hope you three enjoy.
希望你们"三个"能吃得愉快
Maybe could we order another meal?
我们能不能再点一份呢
No problem, just call.
没问题 打服务电话就行
Extra charge, of course.
当然 要额外收费哦
Ohm Shanti.
大家平安
Ohm Shanti means "screw you" in yoga, right?
其实是瑜伽里"坑爹"的意思 对吧
I am so starving.
我要饿死了
Oh, my God, this looks amazing!
天啊 看起来真好吃
Oh, and the bread is still warm!
面包还是温的呢
And there's one of those crazy ass pretzel rolls.
还有一个超怪异的椒盐脆饼卷
Is it a pretzel? Is it a roll?
到底是脆饼 还是面包卷
No idea, it's crazy.
不晓得 反正就是超怪
Max, put some of this butter on it.
麦克斯 涂点这些奶油上去
Try and stop me, bitch!
想让我不涂都不行 贱♥人
Here, take half. Thanks!
来 一人一半 谢谢
Yo.
吃得开心吗
Oh, my God, Andy! I totally forgot.
天啊 安迪 我完全忘了
Not about you. I forgot my manners.
不是忘了你的存在 而是忘了我的礼貌
If my Danish governess were here,
如果我的丹麦家庭老师在这里
she would hit me with her wooden spoon.
她一定会拿她的木勺子打我的
I'm so sorry.
非常抱歉
Go, sit. You eat.
来 坐下 你吃
Enjoy the pretzel roll.
好好享受椒盐脆饼卷
It's gone. You snooze, you lose.
没了 先下手为强 后下手遭殃
No, you sit. I'm good.
不 你坐吧 我无所谓
I'll order more food.
我再点多点吃的
No, sit! Sit.
不 你坐 你坐
I'm the bad one.
我才是坏人
This soup is "Duh mazing."
这汤"强赞"啊
Just a word I made up
这词是我瞎编的
for when something's so amazing, you're stunned,
当有事物赞得吓着你时
and all you can say is "Duh."
你只能用一个字来形容 "强"
Duh mazing.
强赞
Yes, I'd like to order anoth
对 我想再点一份...
Yes, I'll hold.
好的 我等着
I think the hold music is just Roger singing.
我觉得等待音乐是罗杰在唱歌
Okay, hang up the phone.
好啦 把电话放下
Go sit and eat. Come on.
去坐下吃吧 来啦
Hurry before Max eats the table.
快点 不然麦克斯连桌子都要吃掉了
No, you eat.
不 你吃
After all, it's our special weekend.
毕竟这是我们的专属周末
I want you to enjoy it.
我想让你过得开心
Well, okay,
好吧
but only because it's a special occasion.
但只因为这次情节特殊
Good!
很好
I'm gonna go take a hot shower.
我去洗个热水澡
Besides, it's always better to make love on an empty stomach.
再说了 向来空腹做♥爱感觉更棒
That must be why there are so many people in India.
怪不得闹饥荒的印度 人会这么多了
Max, I got a favor to ask you.
麦克斯 我有一事相求
Do you think you can go visit your bear friends next door,
你能不能给我们俩一点独处时间
maybe give us some private time?
去隔壁基熊朋友那里待会
It'll be your birthday gift to me.
就当是你送我的生日礼物
It would be my birthday gift to you
当是我送给你的生日礼物
because it's your birthday.
所以是你过生日咯
Yeah, just for, like, two hours.
对啊 两个小时就好
Okay, one hour.
好吧 一小时也行
I'll skip the foreplay,
我略过前戏好了
and that'll be my birthday gift to myself.
那就当是我送给自己的生日礼物吧
Cool, then I'll just go do that, then.
好的 那我这就过去
I mean, Caroline went to all this trouble
我猜卡洛琳费了那么大的劲
to get you a trip for your birthday, I assume.
这次旅行就是想给你庆祝生日吧
I know,
我知道
and I was really looking forward to some birthday sex
我一直期待会有特别的生日爱爱
since we haven't really connected that way
因为自从蛋糕店生意不顺之后
since the shop started giving you guys so much trouble.
我们也情路不顺 没滚过床单了
But the shop's been in trouble for weeks.
但是蛋糕店已经不顺好几周啦
Yeah, so maybe I'll only need, like, a half hour with her.
是啊 或许时间可以缩短到半个小时
I need my book. I'm gonna take a bath instead.
我要拿上书 我要泡个澡
That tub is so amazing.
浴缸太棒了
I'm just gonna soak in it
我要在泡在里面
and blissfully forget all my problems.
幸福到忘掉我所有的难题
As well as some other things.
忘掉的还有别的事情哦
Max is gonna go visit Yogi and Boo Boo next door
麦克斯打算去隔壁拜访瑜伽熊和波波熊
and give us some private time.
好让我们过下二人世界
She can't do that.
她不能这么做
It's their man iversary.
今天可是他们的"基年纪念日"
They need their private time.
他们也需要二人世界
Yes, but you guys
话是没错 但是你们俩
are celebrating a special thing, too.
也有事情要庆祝哦
What? What are we celebrating?
什么 我们要庆祝什么吗
Andy's birthday. Oh, damn it!
安迪的生日啊 讨厌
Now, I went and spoiled all the special sexual things
我不小心破坏了你精心为他准备的
you had planned for him.
特别爱爱惊喜
Damn it, Max!
就是 麦克斯
Now, you did give it all away.
现在被你弄得惊喜全无了
We were gonna do missionary,
我们本来要玩传教士式的
and...
以及...
the other one.
另外一种招式...
Okay.
好啦
Okay, I'm sorry. I forgot.
好啦 对不起 我忘记了
I don't know how. I knew today was your birthday.
我不知怎么忘了 我明明早知道你今天生日
It's tomorrow.
是明天
So yippee!
太好了
She hasn't missed it.
那她还没有错过
All's right with the world.
世间一切太平
出自英国诗人罗伯特.伯朗宁的《Pippa's Song》
I'm gonna go visit the berenstains.
我要去找熊夫夫玩了
This weekend wasn't about my birthday, was it?
这个周末不是特意为我庆祝生日的 对吧
Come on, come on.
快开门 快开门
Get your hand out of his honeypot
把手从他的"蜜罐"里拿开
and get over here.
快过来给老娘开门
I'll be gone in a second,
我马上就走
and then you guys can jump start your sex life again.
然后你们俩就可以再续你们的性♥爱生活啦
What do you mean "Jump start"?
为什么会说"再续"
How could you tell Max that we haven't had sex?
你怎么能告诉麦克斯 我们很久没做了呢
You haven't even discussed that with me.
你都没跟我本人讨论过呢
Come on, aliens.
快开门啊 外星人
If you're ever going to abduct me,
如果你真想绑架我
this would be the time.
现在就是最好的时机
Don't take the attention off the fact
别转移你忘记我生日的
that you forgot my birthday.
这一事实
Oh, God, I wish I was a cartoon,
天啊 我真希望我是卡通人物
so I could run right through this door,
这样我就可以直接穿过这扇门
and leave behind a body shaped hole.
然后留下一个身形的门洞
Oh, hey, Max.
麦克斯
Mind if I hibernate for a minute?
介意我进来"避寒"一下吗
Oh, sure, come on in.
当然不介意 快进来
We were just gonna eat and then dye our chest hair.
我们刚准备吃饭 然后染我们的胸毛
Close that damn door now.
快把这扇该死的门关上
Thanks, it was just getting a little tense in there.
谢谢 那边的气氛刚才有点紧张
She forgot his birthday. Mm, ouch.
她忘记了他的生日 真伤心
Well, he forgot mine once,
他有次也忘记了我的生日
and now it's his ankle tattoo.
就被罚纹我生日在脚踝了
Max, please, I insist.
麦克斯 来 快请坐
You don't have to ask me twice.
我很随和 不必多问
You gonna eat the pretzel roll?
你们要吃椒盐脆饼吗
Andy, I'm sorry about your birthday.
安迪 抱歉忘了你的生日
It just went out of my head.
我脑子愣是没记住
I feel bad.
我很内疚
And I feel sick.
我很想吐
Can you stop swinging the bed?
你能不能别晃这张床了
Sorry, I'm nervous.
抱歉 我紧张嘛
Yeah, you're nervous a lot,
对啊 你就是常常紧张
which is why our other bed isn't moving at all.
所以我们其他的床从来不"动"
No, no, no, no, no, don't go.
别别别 别走啊
Come back. Come back to the sex bed.
过来 快回到性♥爱之床上
Let's get some sex going!
我们现在就开"动"吧
Come on! We can get this bed moving now!
来啊 我们现在就能让这床"大动特动"
See!
看
See?
看见没
Oh, it's your birthday! It's your birthday!
今天是你的生日 今天是你的生日
It's tomorrow.
是明天啦
Okay. Okay.
好吧 好吧
I can do better, see? 471 好戏上场Here we go!
我可以做得更好 你看
Now, here we go!
精彩不断
Wanna see me twerk it?
想看我跳钢管舞吗
If I'd had any food, I would throw up.
如果我有吃东西 一定全吐出来
Okay, yeah, have a seat.
好了 快坐下来吧
Let's have some bread.
吃点面包
Has it really been that long since we had sex?
我们真的有那么久没做♥爱了吗
Sweetie, after that dance,
亲爱的 跳完那段舞
it's hard to believe you've ever had sex.
很难相信会有人愿意跟你做♥爱
It hasn't been that long.
没有那么久啦
The shop opened on the 12th,
蛋糕店是12号开业的
so it's...
所以...
What?
怎么了
No, it's just interesting
没什么 真有意思
you had no problem remembering that date.
开业的日子你倒是能轻易想起来
Let me ask you a question.
那我问你个问题
Where do you think you're going?
你觉得你会走到哪里
What do you mean? I'm here.
这话什么意思 我就在这里啊
No.
不
Where do you think you're going?
你觉得你以后的路会走到哪里
Like, where do you see your life in a year?
比如 你觉得你一年后的生活会如何
Well, pretty soon, Max and I
很快 我和麦克斯
will be out of this rough patch,
将会度过这个难关
and full force with the business,
并全力以赴经营蛋糕店
doing weddings and big events,
承办婚礼和大型宴会
and then Max and I will probably open another store,
然后我和麦克斯可能会开一家分店
get a bigger apartment.
换一间大点的公寓
Okay, and am I in there somewhere?
好 那这里面有我吗
Oh, come on. I was getting to you.
拜托 我刚准备说你呢
Were you?
是吗
When? When were you getting to me?
什么时候 什么时候才会轮到我
After your business is a success?
在你的事业获得成功之后吗
No! Now.
不 现在啊
Come on. Sex time in the sex bed.
来嘛 在性♥爱之床上滚床单
Wanna do it on the floor?
想在地板上"滚"吗
This is so comfortable!
这真是太舒服了
You put a belt on this, you could wear it out.
系个腰带 都可以直接穿出门了
Just don't try that at your in laws' house
千万不要在你亲家的房子这么穿
with a matching turban.
还配上成套的头巾
Dirk, my father worked 40 years in the factory
德克 我父亲在失去一只手臂前
before he lost his arm.
在满是男子汉的工厂里干了40年
He doesn't get "Camp." Okay.
他接受不了娘炮男同 好吧
Now get up here, lady.
快上来 小姑娘
We're having cookies and milk. 515 你们俩太棒了You guys rock.
我们要吃饼干喝牛奶了
I promise I won't stay here all night.
我保证不会整晚待在这里的
Don't wanna get trapped in the middle
我可不想妨碍你们的
of your country bear jamboree.
乡间"熊熊狂欢夜"时光
Please, honey.
拜托 亲爱的
You are perfectly safe in this bed.
你在这张床上很安全
We haven't had sex in a year.
我们一年没做过爱了
Why would you tell her that?
你干嘛告诉她那个
Well, she told us about her friends not having sex.
她告诉我们 她的朋友很久没做啦
I thought it was on the table.
我以为这种事可以公开说啊
But we haven't even discussed that.
但这件事甚至连我们自己都没谈过
Mother ship, make it happen!
外星母舰 让我梦想成真吧
This is the time to abduct me.
此时不绑更待何时啊
Hi. Max, you can come back. Andy left.
麦克斯 你可以回来了 安迪走了
He said he'd find his own way home.
他说他会想办法回家的
He left? Because you're not having sex?
他走了 就因为你们不做♥爱吗
Max, you told the bears we're not having sex?
麦克斯 你居然告诉这对基熊我们不做♥爱
Why would you share that?
你干嘛要分享这种事
Exactly, Caroline.
就是 卡洛琳
And why would you tell Max that,
为什么你要告诉麦克斯
when you never even brought it up in our Gestalt therapy?
而在我们做格式塔疗时却绝口不提呢
注释：格式塔疗法 要求当事人将其有关的过去与可能的未来带入此刻 然后直接去体验它们
I was planning on addressing it with you this weekend.
我本打算这周末正式跟你说的
You think I'd spend $500 on this room
不然你觉得我花500大洋开这间房
for milk and cookies?
就为了喝牛奶吃饼干吗
I think we're all forgetting
我觉得我们都忘了
how good that soup was.
汤的味道有多棒
Well, I'm sorry if I haven't been feeling very attractive lately.
抱歉我最近觉得自己不太有魅力
I tell you how handsome you are every day.
我可是每天都告诉你 你有多帅哦
Don't you guys look exactly alike?
你们俩不是长得很像吗
Are you okay?
你没事吧
I'm all right.
没事
You wanna get in bed and cuddle for a little while?
你想上床大家抱抱一下吗
No, it's yeah.
不用了...好吧
Come on. Yeah, get in here.
来啦 对啊 来这里
There you go. There you go.
这才对嘛
Oh, good. You're alive.
太好了 你还活着
When I heard you left and walked through the woods,
当我听说你离开 独自穿过树林时
I wondered, "was there anal probing?"
我心想 "会不会被抓去肛♥门探测"
By an alien, not a grifter.
被外星人"探测" 而不是被骗子骗
You texted you wanted to see me?
是你发短信说想见我吗
Well, someone did.
是某人啦
Happy Birthday!
生日快乐
Now, come on, blow.
来 快吹[吹箫]
I don't really feel like doing that.
我不是很想做这事
Welcome to our world.
欢迎来到女人的世界
Andy, I'm so sorry about everything.
安迪 我为发生的一切感到抱歉
It's okay.
没关系
I had a lot of time to think on the bus,
我坐公车的时候 有很多时间思考
and the other bus, and the bus I had to take
因为我要转车 然后转的车坏了
when that bus broke down.
我又得再转一辆车
If it makes you feel any better,
如果能让你感觉好点
I have rope burns all down my back.
我的后背全是绳子擦伤的痕迹呢
Andy, I'm sorry about your birthday.
安迪 抱歉忘了你的生日
We told each other those dates a month ago.
我们是一个月前告诉彼此对方生日的
I wouldn't expect you to remember mine.
我都不指望你会记得我的
May 28th, 19♥87.
19♥87年5月28日
10:30 in the morning.
早上10点30分
10:30 at night, so you're not perfect.
是晚上10点30分 所以你也不完美嘛
Look, you have a really busy life,
你的人生很忙
and you're really ambitious, which I admire,
你也很要强 这点我很敬佩
but I wanna be more than someone you get to eventually.
但我不想做一个要等着你人生里有我的人
And you deserve that.
当然不是这样
It's just I have to put the business first right now
只不过我现在要以事业为先...
And I get that.
我明白
I just I think we should take a break.
我觉得我们该冷静一下
You wanna take a break?
你想冷静一下
Maybe, yeah.
或许 是吧
Are you saying take a break
你真正想说的是不是"分手"
cause you really mean "Break up,"
冷静一下"不过是'
but you're trying to be nice?
你不忍心才这么说
Maybe, yeah.
或许 是吧
I'm sorry if this seems sudden,
抱歉这一切来得这么突然
but I know me,
但我了解自己
and maybe it's better sooner than later.
或许长痛不如短痛
I'm back!
我回来啦
And I brought my bridesmaids!
我还把我的伴娘都带来了
Looks like business is picking up.
看起来生意在好转嘛
It's gonna be hard not to see you.
要不见你 会很难吧
Yeah, it will be.
是啊 的确
I work 10 feet away.
我就在你10英尺外工作
This way, ladies.
这边 姑娘们
We're gonna taste every cupcake they have!
我们要尝遍她们所有的小蛋糕
This is the time to take me!
现在是带我走的最佳时机
快点 最后一次求你了
Come on, final offer!
ET
E.T.?
Alf?
阿福[电视剧外星人]
Christina Ricci?
克里斯蒂娜·里奇