大♥麻蛋糕

This is it, Max.
麦克斯 成啦
The first private party we've booked in our cupcake shop.
这是我们小店接的第一个私人派对单呢
What? You said it was a private party,
干嘛 你说私人派对啊
And this is a party I keep near my privates.
这是我放在"私"处旁的"派对"
Fine, but they can't smell it on your breath,
随你吧 不过不能让人家闻到酒味
So eat a mint after.
等会吃颗薄荷糖吧
No need. It's peppermint schnapps,
不必 这刚好是薄荷杜松子酒
cause I think ahead.
看我多深谋远虑啊
I think this calls for a "first party" dance.
这值得来一段"首次派对"舞吧
First par tay *
首次派对 **
Who gonna have a first par tay *
谁首次要派对啦 **
We gon' have a first par tay *
我们首次要派对啦 **
That's the exact same dance you did
保护动物协会上次送你
when the humane society sent you free puppy address labels.
狗狗地址条的时候 你不也跳这支舞吗
Address labels *
地址条 **
Who got doggies on an envelope *
谁家信封上有狗狗地址条啊 **
Who got doggies on an envelope *
谁家信封上有狗狗地址条啊 **
I need another sip of this *
我得再喝一口啦 **
Wish I had something stronger *
真希望我有更烈的酒 **
Max, I'm sorry. I can't help it.
麦克斯 不好意思啦 我忍不住嘛
I'm just so excited my genius marketing ideas
想到我天才般的营销策略终于有成效
are finally starting to pay off.
我就兴奋得不得了嘛
Quiet! Quiet!
安静 安静
Quiet! Quiet!
安静 都安静
If you aren't listening,
你们不好好听话
Cupcake Max can't teach you how to decorate.
小蛋糕麦克斯姐姐怎么教你们弄装饰啊
It's weird how sex is so great,
性♥爱如此愉悦
and yet, it makes these.
为何后果令人想哭
Ho ho ho!
呵 呵 呵
Talking to you, Max.
在跟你说呢 麦克斯
I know. What's up, Andy?
我知道 怎么样 安迪
I brought some christmas candy from my shop for the diner.
像圣诞老人一样带糖果来送你们啦
Look, Max, Santa did come.
麦克斯 圣诞老人真的来了[高♥潮]
From just a kiss?
亲个嘴就高♥潮啊
Well, you didn't see what she was doing with her hands.
那是你没看到她的手在底下干嘛了
I taught her that.
那是我教她的
That's my gift to you. Merry christmas.
算我给你的礼物 圣诞快乐啦
Hey, is everything okay with your shop?
对了 你们的小店都还好吧
'Cause the landlord came into my store today
今天你们房东走进我的店
and mentioned you guys hadn't paid your rent.
说你们还没付租金呢
If there's a problem, I'd be more than happy to help.
要是有什么问题 我很乐意帮忙啊
Well, the fact is, we just don't have
其实呢 我们不够...
Don't have a clue why our online payments
我们完全不知道我们的线上转账
just never go through. Technology, right?
怎么没入到他账呢 科技真不靠谱啊
You used to be able to shake the mailman's hand.
想当年我们还能跟邮差先生握握手
Now it's all holograms and lasers.
现在就剩全息影像跟激光了
Grandma's right, those were the days.
老奶奶说得对 当年的确是那样
It was a more honest time.
想当年 人们多诚实啊
Okay. Well, I gotta go.
好啦 我得走了
A kiss for Caroline.
送卡洛琳宝贝一个吻
Oh, that was a new kind of kiss.
哎哟 新吻法耶
I liked it.
我喜欢
Max taught me.
麦克斯教我的
What's with the lies? Just tell him the truth.
你干嘛要撒谎 跟他坦白不行吗
We can't pay our rent, life sucks,
我们付不出租金 生活惨惨戚戚
and you need wine before oral.
要你口♥交得先灌醉你
No need.
不用跟他说
We still have two other private parties set up for this month:
我们这个月还有两个私人派对单呢
the quinceanera for that pregnant girl,
那个怀胎少女的成年礼
and then her baby shower.
与之后她宝宝的迎婴派对
Plus, the holidays are coming,
而且圣诞节也要到了
So we should get our decorations up ASAP,
我们也该尽快弄好把圣诞装饰
or Santa won't know where to find us.
不然圣诞老公公会找不到我们哦
Oh, he'll know where to find us.
他才不会找不到呢
We'll be the two evicted girls
我们会是两个被人赶出门
eating fruitcake out of a dumpster.
从垃圾堆里找食物的悲催女
Oh, look, here comes one of the reindeers now.
你看 圣诞老人的其中一只麋鹿来了
You look like a Korean coat rack.
你看起来像个韩国衣帽架
Everybody can stop looking.
大家不用费心找了
We found the grinch.
怪物圣诞怪杰就在这
注释：圣诞怪杰 心胸狭窄易怒 讨厌圣诞节
No wonder it's so angry, it's working for minimum wage.
也难怪她易怒 领着最低工资能不易怒吗
Oh, you're hanging the Christmas decorations.
你在挂圣诞装饰啊
I already put up the mistletoe.
我已经把榭寄生挂好了呢
Where?
你挂哪了
Let's just say it's very well hung.
反正挂得非常好[非常大雕]就是了
Well, all my checks are in,
我的单都交上去了
so I have to run and make a cupcake delivery.
所以我要去外送小蛋糕了
Here, take this and put it in the till.
给 把这些放进小店里的收银机吧
I did a cupcake run last night too.
我昨晚也去外送了
Wait, who orders cupcakes at 2:00 A.M.?
等等 有谁会半夜两点叫小蛋糕啊
Um, my friends.
就我的一些朋友啊
You don't have any friends.
你又没有朋友
I have so many friends.
我朋友超多好吗
Who are your friends?
你朋友都谁啊
Some people I know.
就我认识的一些人啊
Then how come I've never met them?
那我怎么都没见过呢
Well, they don't like you.
因为他们不喜欢你
But they don't know me.
他们又不认识我
They don't like what they've heard about you.
他们听过你的事迹之后不喜欢你
But who would they have heard things from but you?
他们能知道也都是你说出来的事吧
Maybe from my other group of friends.
也可以是从我别群朋友那里听的啊
They don't like you either. Later.
他们也不喜欢你 再见啦
Max, you can turn around.
麦克斯 转过身来
That's right, I followed you.
没错 我跟踪了你
Sorry for following you.
抱歉我跟踪了你
It's just, you have the hair and jacket of a woman.
只是你跟一个女人的发型和外套很像
In a good way.
我是称赞你啦
Did you actually think that was me?
你不会把他认错成是我吧
My beard is much thicker.
我的胡须比他浓密多了
Well, where are we going?
我们到底是要上哪去啊
Why are we in this seedy building
我们干嘛来这个破烂建筑里啊
That smells like marijuana?
这里好浓的大♥麻味
Oh, my God, is this where your mom lives?
天啊 这里是你妈妈住的地方吗
You think my mom lives indoors?
你居然以为我妈住室内啊
Okay, look, for the last few nights,
好啦 最近几晚
my dealer calls me after she sells pot to people,
我的大♥麻贩友人在卖货后会通知我
and then I sell those people the munchies they need.
然后我就趁人抽完肚子饿时来卖零嘴
Max, this is New York. That's illegal!
麦克斯 这里是纽约 那是犯法的
No, giant sodas are illegal.
才没有 大瓶汽水才犯法呢
纽约禁止餐厅卖大杯含糖饮料 减少胖子
This is me selling cupcakes to make our rent.
我这是在卖小蛋糕赚租金
And besides, it's not a big deal.
而且这又没什么大不了的
Pot's legal in Washington, Massachusetts, Colorado, and California.
在华盛顿州 麻省 科罗拉多州 加州 大♥麻可都是合法的呢
Well, thank you for the stoner's summary of the last election,
感谢你的选举过后 毒虫政策精选啊
but we don't live in any of those places,
但我们又不住那些地方
And I do not approve of pot at all.
而我也完全讨厌大♥麻这玩意
It makes people lazy and lethargic,
让人们懒惰又恍惚
and drains all one's ambitions.
还把人的理想志向全吸走
God, you're fun.
天啊 你真"有趣"
Look, on the other side of this door
在这扇门的背后
is money to help us make the $600 more we need for rent.
有着能让我们多付600块租金的机会
It's totally up to you.
你决定吧
Should I knock, or not knock?
我该敲门 还是不敲门呢
What's good, Max?
你好吗 麦克斯
Hey, Keefer. This is my friend Caroline.
琦芙 她是我的朋友 卡洛琳
Pleasure, my goddess.
幸会 美丽的女神
Come on in. I just broke out some dank nugs.
进来吧 我刚开了一些高纯麻[鸡块]抽呢
Oh, thanks, but we actually just had some dank nugs.
谢了 我们才刚吃过不久呢
First of all, that's your new nickname,
以后这就是你的绰号了
And, Keefer, I don't want to rush you,
还有 琦芙 我不想催你
but me and dank nugs have to get home.
但是我跟鸡块妹赶着回家
Okay, cool, I'll be right back with the cash.
行 没问题 我马上拿钱过来
Second hand smoke, second hand smoke.
二手烟 二手烟
Second hand nerd, second hand nerd.
二手弱宅 二手弱宅
Here you go,
拿去吧
they were feeling kinda generous.
他们今晚挺大方的
Nice to meet you, nugs.
很高兴见到你啊 鸡块妹
Nice meeting you too.
我也很高兴认识你啊
Peace.
再见啦
There. A hundred bucks.
一看 整整一百块
Oh, my God, Max, that's a hundred dollar bill!
天啊 麦克斯 百元大钞呢
How easy was that?
你看 多轻松啊
And we didn't even have to open the shop.
而且连店面都不需要
I mean, what is the problem with doing this?
我这样卖哪有什么不行嘛
You're right, I overreacted.
你说得对 我反应过激了
We're not selling pot. We're selling cupcakes.
我们又不是卖大♥麻 只是卖小蛋糕而已
We didn't break any laws.
我们又没犯法
There's nothing illegal about it.
完全没有不法之处
Move! Move! Move!
闪边 闪边 闪边
I didn't know! I didn't know!
我不知道 我真不知情啊
Go! Go! Go! Keep going, now!
上上上 快上啊
Police! Go! Go, now!
警察 上啊 快上
Put the meth down! Put the meth down!
放下你手中的冰♥毒 快放下你的冰♥毒
Sup?
你好啊 帅哥
Move! Go! Go! Get him out! Let's go!
走 出来吧 把他揪出来
Bring him out! Go! Go! Go!
快把他给揪出来 出来 出来
I told you not to get involved with drugs!
我都说了让你别跟毒品沾边
I told you!
我早告诉过你了
Shut it, Carol! Shut it!
闭嘴 卡洛 闭嘴
I can't believe that just happened.
我真不敢相信刚才那一切
I know, it's like, "let it go, Carol."
对啊 感觉就是"少废话了 卡洛"
We're done with drugs. I was right.
我们不许再跟毒沾边了 我没说错
And now you know why my friends don't like you.
现在知道为什么我的朋友们都讨厌你了吧
And remember, we do private parties,
别忘了 我们也接私人派对
Wedding parties, birthday parties
婚礼派对 生日派对....
All right, there's a dozen. What's the special occasion?
好了 一打小蛋糕 庆祝什么呢
My cat died.
我的猫死掉了
we also do funerals, divorces...
我们也接丧礼 离婚...
and sad friday nights alone.
孤单周五晚的单也接
Thank you.
谢谢惠顾
Okay, so that's 48 more dollars.
好了 又赚了48块钱
Now, all we need is For 72 more cats to die.
我们只需要... 再有72只猫死就行了
Max, there's no need to kill imaginary cats.
麦克斯 别这样乱咒猫嘛
Let's just send out positive energy,
我们只需多发送正面能量
and the universe will provide.
老天爷就会安排好的
Swing and a miss, universe.
失手了啊 老天爷
Surprise! I was in the neighborhood
给你们惊喜 我刚好来附近
and thought I'd stop by and say hello.
就想着过来打声招呼
Under any other circumstance, I'd say, "never do that again,"
平常呢 我会说"不准你再不请自来"
But today, I'm saying, "how many cupcakes do you want"
但今天特别 所以"你要买多少小蛋糕呢"
And I'm thinking of a number between 10 and 20.
我觉得就来个10到20个吧
I'm kind of trying to watch my waist.
我想看着我的腰[照顾体重]呢
Well, you're closer to it than most people.
你的头已经比别人更近腰了
I'm gonna start you with 12 cupcakes.
就先给你来个12个小蛋糕吧
Full price, 'cause you're family.
你算家人 就"原价"招待吧
Oh, my God! The phone ringing
天啊 一边有顾客上门
and a customer at the same time?
一边还有顾客打来
See, Max, it's all happening.
麦克斯 我们的好运到啦
Between the money we just got last night
我们昨晚赚到的钱
and that pregnant girl's Quinceanera / Baby shower,
加怀胎少女的成年礼与迎婴派对
we're gonna make our rent.
绝对能赚到租金啊
Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
麦克斯自制小蛋糕
Oh, hola, Estella.
你好啊 埃斯特拉[西语]
Si, the Quinceanera / Baby shower.
是的 成年礼加迎婴派对
Que?
怎么了
Oh, no. Deported?
不是吧 遣返
Oh, you can't afford it.
哦 是付不起啊
My mal.
我听错了
Well, sorry, it didn't work out. Gracias for calling.
很遗憾未能为你服务 感谢来电
Well, that's disappointing,
这下失望了吧
but we should have seen it coming.
不过我们早该料到有这下场
She couldn't afford condoms either.
她连避孕套都买不起
It's cool.
没事
I'll just call Keefer
我再打给琦芙吧
and try to do a couple more cupcake runs.
帮她多外送几趟就行了
No, that's not cool, that's dangerous.
不许这样 这太冒险了
It'll all work out. You know what?
船到桥头自然直 这样吧
I'm just gonna go over and ask Andy
我这就过去问安迪
if he'll float us some cash till the holiday rush kicks in.
借点钱周转 节日高峰期过后就能还他了
He did offer.
他也说过要借啊
We should put up some Christmas lights,
我们也应该挂上圣诞灯
a menorah for Chanukah, and for Kwanzaa...
犹太光明节的烛台 以及宽扎节的...
注释：宽扎节 非裔美国人节日 12月26号至一月一号
While I'm gone, why don't you wikipedia Kwanzaa?
我去的时候 你搜搜宽扎节摆饰吧
Well... Here's the first eight.
好了 先上八个给你
And how many cupcakes would you like "to go"?
你还想外带多少个小蛋糕走呢
I'm thinking of a number between 40 and 50.
我觉得就来个40到50个吧
How come you never push the food at the diner like this?
你在餐馆的时候怎么不这么推销食物啊
Oh, that's where I know you from.
对哦 我是在那里认识你的啊
Start eating.
快开吃吧
I didn't do it.
我没问他借
It's so not hot. He's my boyfriend.
这样太不性感了 他是我男朋友呢
I mean, it's not like borrowing money from family.
没办法像跟亲人借钱那样自然
You don't sleep with your family.
毕竟我们又不跟自己家人"睡"
Not all families are the same, Caroline.
有些家庭就不是这样呢 卡洛琳
Besides, we're fine. The universe will provide.
而且 我们没事的 老天爷会照顾我们
Well, the universe better provide in,
那老天爷最好是这几秒内
like, a second, 'cause look, there's the landlord.
赶紧照顾我们啊 房东来了
He just went into that Moroccan place.
他已经到斜对面摩洛哥店了
What are we gonna do?
我们该怎么办
Hide! What?
躲啊 什么
Well, I should go.
好了 我该走了
It's too late for that!
想走已经太迟了
Lock the door, hit the lights,
锁门 关灯
and crawl over here, and stay low!
爬过来 蹲下身子
Stay down till we're out of sight.
在他看不见前 不要起身
Ow, it hurts!
膝盖好疼哦
Oh, please. Like this is the first time
拜托 说得像这是
you've been on your knees in the bathroom.
你第一次在厕所里"跪地抬臀"一样
Caroline, you don't have to stay on the ground anymore.
卡洛琳 进来就不用趴地上了啊
I feel like this is where I belong now.
我觉得我现在低等得只配趴地上
Yo, baker girls.
烘焙女孩们
Max, he's in the shop.
麦克斯 他进店了
Okay, go, out the window. Really?
好吧 爬窗吧 你说真的吗
If he can't see us, he can't evict us. 256 快啊Go.
他要是没见到我们 就不能赶走我们
It's a little high. Are you sure?
有点高耶 你确定吗
You've heard "when God closes a door, he opens a window"?
你听过"当上帝关上门 他也开一扇窗"吧
He's running from his landlord.
他当时就是在躲房东
Go.
跳吧
Okay, here goes.
好吧 我跳啦
I love you, Max.
麦克斯 我爱你
What about me? What should I do?
那我呢 我怎么办
Put the money for those cupcakes on the counter.
把小蛋糕的钱放柜台上
Who are you?
你是谁啊
No hablo ingles?
不会说英文
All right, all right, good news.
好了 好消息
I just found $3 in my pocket.
我刚在我口袋发现3块钱
Oh, and a peanut M&M,
还有一颗M&M花生巧克力豆
so we don't have to spend money on dinner.
我们今晚不必花钱吃晚餐啦
Caroline, why are you putting it off?
卡洛琳 别再闪躲了
You know what you have to do.
该干嘛你自己知道
Go over to the couch and put your hands in that crack.
乖乖伸手去掏沙发缝吧
It's every poor girl's rite of passage.
每个穷姑娘都躲不过这件事
What?
怎么了
I think something just licked me.
感觉有东西舔了我一下
I'll just check our purses. Here's yours.
我检查我们的钱包吧 这是你的
Uh, no, no, no. I already checked that.
不用不用 我已经检查过了
There's nothing in mine...
我的钱包里没东西...
Except that baggie of pot
只有一袋大♥麻
that Keefer gave me as a Christmas present.
那是琦芙送我的圣诞礼物
Max, this is not a Christmas present.
麦克斯 这不是什么圣诞礼物
This is a giant, illegal, fat sack of weed.
这是满满一大袋的非法大♥麻
Yeah, with a Rudolph sticker,
对啊 可上面有个麋鹿贴纸
which makes it a Christmas present.
所以这是圣诞礼物啦
See? His nose and his eyes are red.
看见没 他的红鼻子和红眼睛多喜庆
I want this out of my sight. You gotta get rid of it.
我不想看见这玩意 你得让它消失
Well, it's gonna take me
我抽完这满满一袋
at least 45 minutes to smoke all that.
至少得花45分钟呢
Max, I'm serious,
麦克斯 我是说真的
I'm not comfortable with that fat sack of weed.
我看着这满满一袋大♥麻觉得很别扭
Stop saying "fat sack of weed."
别再用"满满一袋"这个词
You're like someone's dad overusing the word awesome.
你就像那种学了潮流词就猛用的中年父亲
I'll just put it up here,
我把它放上面吧
next to the half a Vicodin I was saving for new year's.
放在我留着新年嗑的半颗维柯丁[止痛药]旁边
Oh, no! The pot!
别啊 我的大♥麻
注释：Pot 一字多义 有大♥麻和锅的意思
The pot is in the pot!
我的大♥麻掉进锅里了
It's in the butter I was using to make cupcakes.
掉到我要用来做小蛋糕的那锅黄油里了
Maybe this is the universe's way
也许这是老天爷的旨意
of telling you to stop doing drugs.
让你不要跟毒品沾边
Or is it telling us to sell them?
或是在指引我们拿去卖掉
Max, we are not that desperate.
麦克斯 我们没穷到那个地步
We're not making pot cupcakes.
我们不用做大♥麻小蛋糕的
I'd rather just see what the holidays bring.
我宁愿期待节日会带来什么惊喜
Well, this isn't Bethlehem, it's Brooklyn.
这里不是伯利恒 这里是布鲁克林
注释：伯利恒是耶稣降生地
There's no frankincense and myrrh,
这里既没乳香 也无没药
注释：耶稣出生时 东方三博士送来三样礼物 黄金 乳香 没药
there's only frankenberry and "Myrrh ajuana."
这里只有"屌♥香"和"大♥麻药"
These turned out great!
做出来结果很棒
Good idea, universe.
好主意 啊 老天爷
I knew you smoked weed.
我早就知道你也是麻友了
Oh, my God. I can't believe the smell.
天啊 这味道太难闻了吧
It's like a skunk skunked a skunk.
像臭鼬被另一只臭鼬喷了臭气似地
I know. It's like a port a potty
我明白 就像狂欢会过后的
on the last day of Coachella.
公共厕所一样臭
Oh, no, Chestnut's smelling this.
惨了 栗宝在偷吸
I got my horse stoned.
我家小马都成毒虫了
Oh, relax.
别这么紧张
He's just trying to fit in at school.
他只是想打入其他同学的圈子嘛
Do you think the neighbors can smell it?
你觉得邻居会闻到这味吗
Do you think they're gonna call the cops?
他们会不会打给警察举报我们啊
Chill out!
别这么紧张啦
How can someone be this paranoid before they're high?
怎么有人还没能抽嗨 就这么多疑啊[副作用]
Here, taste this.
来 尝尝看
Max, I don't do pot.
麦克斯 我才不碰大♥麻
I tried it a couple times in college.
我大学的时候试过几次
It totally changed my personality.
会害我性格起大变化
Then please have some pot right now.
那求你快吃了这大♥麻小蛋糕吧
Come on, it's business.
这是为了生意好吗
I need you to taste it and tell me how it is,
得有人尝尝 告诉我味道如何啊
cause I can't tell. At this point,
我现在尝不出来 做完这些'
everything I put in my mouth tastes like pot.
味道浓得我吃什么都会像大♥麻
Hey, it's pretty good.
还不错呢
In fact, it's kind of delicious.
其实这味道蛮好吃的呢
We should charge 15 apiece for these.
我们应该收人家15块钱一个
That's $540. That's our rent.
这样能赚540块 刚好交租
A few more bites of that cupcake,
你要是再多吃几口
and that math would've taken two hours longer.
你就得多花两小时才算得出刚才的东西了
Oh, my God! It's the cops!
惨了 条子来了
It's probably that same SWAT team!
估计就是上次那队特警
I told you not to get involved with drugs!
我都说了让你别跟毒品沾边
I told you!
我早告诉过你了
Shut it, Caroline! Shut it!
闭嘴 卡洛琳 闭嘴
Relax, it's Sophie.
别紧张 是苏菲啦
Hi, girls. I got my period.
姑娘们 我月经来了
Yeah, I got killer cramps.
肚子疼得要死
It's like I got a tractor in my uterus.
像我子♥宫里有台拖拉机在乱搅一样
Sophie, we're sorry you're not feeling well.
苏菲 你不舒服我们也很遗憾
Yeah, you know, it's times like these I think God's a bitch.
这种时候总让我觉得 老天爷真贱
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
慢着 慢着
What's that smell?
那是什么味道
Nothing. It's nothing.
没什么 没什么味道
Maui wowie!
是大♥麻啊
Oh, you girls have been holding out on me!
你们这俩小姑娘还对我藏招啦
Oh! All right! Okay!
好啦 爽啊
This is what I'm talking about!
老娘要的就是这个呀
Oh, my God, good bye, killer cramps!
天啊 再见啦 疼死人的肚痛
Hello, pot party!
来吧 大♥麻派对
I am picking up what you are laying down.
老娘要来收成你们种下的"麻"了
I think we found our new product spokesperson.
看来我们找到了我们新的产品代言人了
Here it is.
就是这里
I've been here once before with Keefer.
我跟琦芙来过这里一次
Judah's a really chill guy, kind of a tech genius.
朱达是个很放松的人 有点电脑宅
Think we can probably sell them all here.
我们应该能把货全卖掉
Are you okay?
你没事吧
You haven't spoken the entire way over here,
整条路上你一句话都没说
which is either a side effect of the pot,
只可能是大♥麻的副作用
or my early Christmas present.
或我提早收到了圣诞礼物
No, I'm fine. I feel exactly the same.
我没事啊 感觉跟以前一样
It hasn't changed me at all.
性格也完全没变化啊
Careful with the box,
小心盒子
cause you're smearing the cupcakes.
小蛋糕会糊掉的'
Oh, what does it matter? We're all gonna die.
有啥关系 反正我们都会死
Is this that other personality you were telling me about?
这就是你跟我说的另一个人格吗
No, it's still me. Not that I matter.
我还是我啊 不过我屁都不是
None of us do. We're all gonna die.
所有人都比屁还不如 都是要死的
Oh, crap.
惨了
Hey, Max!
麦克斯
I was so happy that you called.
接到你电话 我好高兴啊
And we're so happy you're addicted to marijuana.
你染上大♥麻无法自拔 我们也好高兴
You know it always leads to heroin
抽大♥麻的人后来都会吸海♥洛♥因
Which leads to death. We get it.
之后就会死掉 我们都懂
You're the one not fun stoner.
你是唯一吸完毒还很无趣的人
Hey, guys, the chicks are here with the edibles.
大伙们 卖零嘴的美女们来了
Edibles! We're having a little bit of a celebration.
零嘴 我们在办小庆祝会
Okay, so cupcakes.
我们卖大♥麻小蛋糕
They're 15 apiece, good quality.
15块一个 品质优良
And guys, we have to sell all of them, or tomorrow,
大伙们 我们必须得全部卖掉 不然明天
we'll be eating out of a Dumpster.
我们就得垃圾堆找东西吃了
Does anyone have any uppers?
有人有兴♥奋♥剂给她吃吗
I have to sit down. I mean, life. Ugh!
我得去坐下了 生命啊
I'm so tired of pretending it's all gonna be okay.
我无力再假装一切都会好转了
It's not.
才不会呢
You should get that mole checked out.
你那个痣最好去检查一下吧
I don't feel good about it.
我有不祥的预感
Dude, this chick is freaking me out.
兄弟 这妞好吓人啊
Just take it easy, Dave. We'll just get some food in her.
大卫 别紧张 我们买点吃的就好
I got a buddy on the way with pizza.
我有个兄弟正带着披萨来呢
Guys, I'm sorry about her.
兄弟们 我替她道歉
It's like bringing your mother to a strip club.
带她来 就像是带老妈去脱衣舞厅一样扫兴
Not for me. That'd be like taking my mom to work.
我个人是无所谓 毕竟等于是载她去上班
Strippers, how about their lives?
脱衣舞娘 想想她们的人生
They got no way out.
一入欢场无尽期啊
Can I talk to you, before you start performing
在你为有怪痣的脱衣舞娘唱曲之前
an acoustic ballad about strippers with moles?
我能跟你借一步谈谈吗
What's the point, Max?
有啥好谈的啊 麦克斯
Go, if you're gonna hit me, hit me.
扁吧 你要是要扁我 就扁吧
What is happening with you?
你是怎么了啊
I didn't even know blonde people could be sad.
原来白♥痴金发人群也会伤感的啊
Max, I have to tell you something.
麦克斯 我有话想对你说
Come here. It's a secret. Come here.
靠近点 这是秘密 耳朵靠过来
We're not gonna make it.
我们不会成功的
But you're the one who's always telling me
不都是你总在跟我说
everything's gonna be fine.
一切都会好起来的吗
Yeah, I was lying.
对啊 都是我骗你的
Where's the weed, homeslizzy?
大♥麻在哪啊 你个小淫宅
Perfect timing, Andy.
时间正好啊 安迪
These are the girls who are selling edibles.
这两姑娘是来卖零嘴的
No, that's my girlfriend, Caroline.
不是啊 那是我女朋友 卡洛琳
That sucks for you, dude.
你真悲剧啊 兄弟
What are you doing here?
你在这干嘛
She is really getting the hang of that.
她真是驾轻就熟啊
And around 4:00 A.M.,
大概清晨四点左右
you finally called me from an IHOP in Greenpoint,
你终于从松饼餐厅打来给我
and I came and picked you up.
然后我就去接你回来了
You were covered in syrup, yelling,
你当时满身沾了糖浆 大喊着
The Mayans were right! The Mayans were right!"
玛雅人说得对 玛雅人说得对""
There's my little stoner.
我的小毒虫宝贝呀
Andy, I don't get stoned.
安迪 我才不是毒虫
It was just last night. I know.
我才不是毒虫 昨晚而已 我知道
You told me all about it when you called at 4:00 A.M.
你半夜四点打给我时 都跟我说了
Sorry, and I'm mortified to ask,
对不起啦 我还有件事不敢问
but did you and I have phone sex?
但我是不是跟你电话性♥爱了
That was you and me.
当时电话中的人是我
Stoned Caroline's got game.
毒虫卡洛琳很有市场啊
Hey, Max told me about the rent.
麦克斯跟我说租金的事了
Why didn't you tell me you guys needed help?
你为什么不跟我说你们需要帮忙呢
I guess I just didn't want to have to admit
我只是不想向你 或是对自己
to you or to myself that we're in real trouble.
承认我们的店碰上了大♥麻烦
Plus, being a charity instead of a girlfriend is so not hot.
而且 从女朋友变成欠债人太不性感了
Uh, there is nothing you can do that is not hot.
你无论做什么 都很难不性感
Oh, then whatever you do, do not look at the video
那无论如何 你千万别看那
Max has of me, rolling around in the IHOP parking lot,
麦克斯拍我在松饼餐厅停车场打滚的影片
covered in syrup.
而且我还满身糖浆
I want you to have this.
我想你拿去
Cash it, don't cash it. Do whatever you want,
兑现 不兑现 都随你高兴
but just know that my success doesn't mean anything
我只想你明白 我的成功如果不能与你同享
if I can't share it with you.
那便一文不值
Thank you.
谢谢
Andy, that is so amazing, and I really appreciate it,
安迪 你这么做我真的很感激
but I can't take it.
但这钱我不能拿
Well, it's a win win.
好吧 这还算双赢
At least it got your hand in my pants.
至少拐到你把手放我裤子里了
And remember, if you ever need it, it's there.
记住 你一有需要 它就在这里
I'm talking about my penis.
我是说我的"大雕"
Andy offered to pay our rent, but I said no.
安迪想给我们租金钱 我拒绝了
That is the whitest thing I've ever heard.
这真是我听过最蠢白人的事迹了
It was really sweet of him,
他这么做真的很有心
but I didn't want to take money from a man I'm sleeping with.
但我真的不想从我"睡的"男人那里拿钱
Wait, are you telling me there are women
什么 你是说居然有女人
who don't take money from men they're sleeping with?
不跟她"睡"的男人拿钱吗
What's gonna happen, Max? 465 我也不知道了I don't know.
接下来怎么办呢 麦克斯
But we do have Christmas decorations,
但我们有圣诞节装饰啊
so let's put them up.
一起来摆上装饰吧
Wait a minute.
等等
You're the one pushing Christmas?
居然是你在催我弄圣诞节
Who are you, me?
你是谁啊 我吗
No, I still have my dignity.
才不是你 我的尊严还在呢
Speaking of Christmas, here are the two and a half wise men.
说到圣诞节 东方博士两个半来啦
What's up? Caroline called me last night.
怎么啦 卡洛琳昨晚打给我
Told me that you two couldn't pay your rent,
说你们俩付不起租金
that you were losing the shop.
你们会失去这小店
That girl can talk.
那妞话可多了哦
She called me too, and said you didn't have your rent,
她也打给我了 说你们没钱交租
and also that, for sure, the rising waters of the ocean
她也说了 上升的海水会淹没全世界
will swallow us and kill us all.
也会把所有人类统统淹死
So we put together what we had, and... here.
我们就把身上的钱凑了凑 给
Consider it an early Christmas gift from all three of us...
就当是我们三个提前送的圣诞礼物吧
Even though I gave 350, Earl gave 100,
虽然是我出了350 厄尔出了100
and he gave 50.
他只出了50块
Thank you, but we can't take it.
谢谢你们 但我们不能收啊
Yes, you can. We're family.
当然能收 我们是家人嘛
500 whole dollars?
整整500块啊
Thank you, guys.
谢谢你们了
And we have something special for you.
我们也有特别的礼物送你们
What makes it special?
特别之处在哪啊
The love she puts into 'em, Max.
她放里面的满满爱意啊
You can smell the love all around her.
她满身都闻得到爱意呢
You know, Max, I think we're gonna make it.
麦克斯 我觉得我们会成功的
I like not stoned Caroline.
我喜欢非毒虫版卡洛琳
We're gonna keep you off the drugs.
我们得让你离毒品远点才行
You mean because I'm more positive?
因为我这时候比较乐观正面吗
No, 'cause we may have to sell your urine for
是因为下个月的租进 可能得靠卖你的尿
next month's rent,
很多毒虫随身带着"干净"的尿液 以防警方验尿
and I'm gonna need that pee clean.
所以你绝对不能碰毒啊