尿裤子的尴尬
Max, I can't wait to go home
麦克斯 我迫不及待想回家
and illegally download that documentary about performance art.
非法下♥载那个行为艺术纪录片
And I can't wait to go home and watch
我迫不及待想回家观看
Here comes Honey Boo Boo.
大♥波妹子来了
But first you have to see this.
但你先听听这个
Her name is Marina Abramovic.
她叫阿布拉莫维奇(国际著名行为艺术家)
In the 90's she and her boyfriend did this piece called "Confrontation"
在90年代时 她和男友玩了个"对峙"的游戏
where they just slapped each other's faces for days.
连续几天互扇耳光
Oh yeah?
是吗
My mom and her boyfriend did that too,
我妈妈和她男友也这么做
but they called it, "Who smoked the last cigarette."
但他们称之为"谁抽了最后一根雪茄"游戏
No,really,it was pure art. She's a genius.
不是那样啦 那是纯艺术 她很有才的
How about you and I do a little art right now?
不如咱俩现在做点行为艺术
What are they doing?
她们在干嘛
I think they might be doing a scene from Fifty Shades Of Grey.
我想她们在重现"五十层灰"里的情景
注释：五十层灰:詹姆斯所著怪异性♥爱三部曲的首部
Ah,okay,stop.
好了 停手
Okay.
好
That's for suggesting we make a lip synch video
谁让你提议说咱俩一起拍个
to Call Me Maybe.
打给我的假唱视频
What's up,my man? You look pretty down.
怎么了 伙计 你看起来很抑郁啊
My mother in Korea is working my last nerve.
我在韩国的妈妈要把我逼疯了
My last nerve, you know, Earl?
要把我逼疯了 你知道吗
I don't expect a back and forth here.
我没想到会反复出现这种情况
Uh, Max,do you wanna move in?
麦克斯 你要说几句吗
Han, you can't let your moy keep bullying you.
韩 你不能一直让你妈欺负啊
Stand up to her. You're a 53 year old man.
勇敢地面对她 你都53岁的人了
Max, I am 29.
麦克斯 我29
What?
什么
I am 29.
我才29岁
What do you got, a case of the benjamin buttons?
什么情况 你是返老还童(电影)吗
Caroline,Han says he's 29.
卡洛琳 韩说他才29岁
What?
什么
Han are you sure?
韩 你确定
Yes, what makes you think I'm older?
当然 你们怎么会觉得我很老呢
Well, everything your hair, your clothes,
所有的一切啊 你的发型 衣服
The $5 check you gave me for my birthday.
还有你送我的生日礼物 一张5块钱的支票
Hi,can I help you? Ooh,that sounded so sincere.
你好 有啥要帮忙的吗 听起来真是真诚
Well,when you're in my section, you'll meet the real me.
你若被我服务过 你就知道我是什么意思了
I have one question.
我有一个问题
Do you want live?
你想活命吗
Actually,today,I can go either way.
其实 今天 活不活都行吧
See this?
看到这个了吗
Go aroun the dinner,and have everyone fill it
去餐厅里 让每一个人
with the contents of their purse.
把钱包都放到这个袋子里
And if you do,nobody gets hurt.
照做的话 大家都会没事
Okay,okay,okay,but,uh,I don't know
好的 好的 但我不知道
how much you're gonna collect here.
你能拿到多少
I mean,most of the customers pay with coins
大部分的客户都拿硬币
or fresh tomatoes from their garden.
或他们菜园子里的新鲜西红柿结账的
Uh, Earl, listen up.
厄尔 听着
We're being robbed by that man in the suit,
那个穿大衣的男人要抢劫咱们
And he wants everyone to empty their stuff into this bag.
他要大家都把钱拿出来 放到这个袋子里
Uh, Max,I've been on both sides of this situation.
麦克斯 抢和被抢我都经历过
And the best thing to do is play along.
最好的办法是乖乖合作
Okay, caroline,I'm gonna tell you something,
好的 卡洛琳 我要告诉你一件事
and I don't want you to react.
不要反应过激
I knew you were gonna get pregnant.Damn it!
我就知道你会怀孕的 该死
Alright,fine. We'll get through this together.
好了 咱们会一起度过的
Look, we're being robbed,
听着 咱们遭抢劫了
and that guy in the suit might have a gun.
那个穿大衣的男人可能有枪
No, no just do what I say,and stay calm.
不要叫 按我说的做 保持冷静
I need you to empty your purse into the trash bag.
现在把你的钱拿出来放到这袋子里面
I can't believe this is happening
真不敢相信这种事居然发生了
Just when I saved $2.
我才攒了2美元
Max, I can't die.
麦克斯 我不能死
I certainly can't die in this ugly uniform.
我绝不能穿着这么丑的衣服死去
I mean,it looks good on you.
我是说 你穿着倒是很好看
Are you having a art tack?
你有艺术品位吗
I'm peeing.
我在尿裤子
What do you mean?
你说什么
I'm really freaked out,and I'm peeing.
我被吓坏了 在尿裤子
I can't stop! Just stop, stop!
停不住了 停住 停住
Clench it. Okay.
咬紧牙关 好
No, can't.
不 没办法
Step out from behind the counter.
站到柜台前面来
Sorry, sir, I can't.
抱歉 先生 我不行
Why? Well,um,I'm peeing.
为什么 我在尿尿
Still?
还在呢
Out of the way, girls.
站一边去 姑娘们
I'll take down this
我来搞定...
Get away from him.
离开远点
Miss, you need to get out from behind the counter now
小姐 现在就站到柜台前来
Before I uh,please take her,not me.
不然我就 带走她吧 不要带我
What's happening?
怎么回事
Han, we're being robbed. So sorry
韩 我们遭抢劫了 太抱歉了
Please take erything that is in my manny pack
请把我腰包里的每一分钱都拿出来吧
Would it be possible if I took my prayer beads out?
不过 我可以把佛珠拿出来吗
They've been in my family for hundreds and hundreds of
这是我家传了几百年的
I don't think so, homeboy.
我可不这么想 小子
You're in my house now,bitch.
这是爷的地盘 小贱♥人
Here's what left in the bag.
这些是袋子里剩下的了
Nope, sorry. I don't see your dignity.
抱歉 没找到你的自尊
Max, don't.
麦克斯 别这样
Isn't it enough that I'm wearing dishwasher whites
难道我身上这件 自从狐臭诞生之后
that have been around since the invention of b.O.?
就被穿在身上的洗碗工衬衫还不够吗
Oh, look at that, something ate right through the swiffer,
快看 有什么东西把拖把吃了
and I don't think it was the bleach.
我觉得不是漂白剂
How will you ever live with the shame?
你们怎么能带着这种耻辱活着
Can you believe that is the man who saved us?
你能相信就是这个男人救了我们吗
Yeah, I did not see a gun coming.
是啊 我没看见枪
I saw nunchucks, ninja smoke, maybe some hairpulling,
我看见了双节棍 忍者烟 抓头发
But not a gun.
但就是没枪
Well, good night, ladies.
晚安了 女士们
I thought we all acted very brave tonight
我觉得今晚我们都很勇敢
Well, some of us.
不 我们中的一部分
Oh, yeah, I had a trauma, and I urinated
是啊 我受了惊吓还尿了裤子
Ha, ha! That's hilarious.
这真搞笑啊
Yeah, you might need some counseling.
是 你可能需要咨询服务
I could drop you off at a therapist on the way to my
我能在去"人体盾牌"互助组的路上
I was a human shield support group.
载你到治疗师那
Am I ever gonna live this down?
这件事就不能过去吗
It happened, like, ten minutes ago.
它不过发生在10分钟以前
Okay, let's move on.
好吧 我们就此打住了
Oh, look, someone left a coupon for free movie popcorn.
瞧 有人留下来电影院的免♥费爆米花赠券
Oh, I'd love to escape to a movie after my
我很想逃离这里去看电影 在我...
Well, I'd just love to escape.
我只是想逃离这里
How much are movies now, like 200 bucks?
现在看电影要多少钱 200块吗
Unless you go with me, in which case, it is free.
跟我去的话 就是免♥费
I'll take you tomorrow.
明天我带你去
I've been sneaking into theaters since I was two.
我2岁的时候就偷偷溜进剧院
I crawled into the little mermaid
爬进"海的女儿"的剧院
with a sack full of cheerios
带着一整包麦圈
and a baby bottle full of diet coke.
还有一整瓶婴儿健怡可乐
You know, chestnut, the only thing that got me through that robbery was you.
栗宝 是你支撑我撑过了这场抢劫
I kept thinking, "who will take care of you?"
我一直在想 "我走了谁来照顾你呢"
Because you n't count on blondie selfish pants
总不能指望那个自私的金发女
who used me as a human shield and then peed herself.
把我当人肉盾牌使 还吓尿了一身
Do not tell chestnut I peed myself.
别跟栗宝说我吓尿了
He's the only one from my circle who still talks to me.
它是我那圈子里唯一还跟我说话的人
As I was saying, chestnut, I would have taken a bullet
我想说啊 栗宝 我是愿意替她挡枪子
for her, but she put herself first,
但她却把我往死神那推
and that's okay. It's fine.
罢了 没事了
Max, I'm surprised you're even affected by this.
麦克斯 我真的很惊讶你居然被这个影响了
I mean, weren't you shot as a baby?
我是说 你打小就挨个子弹吗(shot亦有喝酒的意思)
I feel like you told me that.
我感觉你似乎告诉过我
No, I told you I drank shots as a baby.
不 我说的是我打小就喝酒
My mother hated to drink alone.
我妈讨厌一个人喝酒
Okay,what free movie should we see?
好吧 我们要看哪部免♥费电影
Maybe something with a Fanning in it?
有范宁参演的吗
I'll see anything unless it's in 3 D.
只要3D啥都行
I mean,if something's gonna be flying at my face,
如果有东西在我面前飞
I'd better get a free prime rib out of it.
我就从它身上取块肋骨下来
So what do we do,Max? What do we do?
我们要怎么做 麦克斯 怎么做
Hide in the back alley till the coast is clear,
藏在后巷里 直到道路畅通
and when the door opens, make a break for it?
开门的时候 偷跑进去吗
No,'cause it's not the 1940s.
不 这不是上世纪40年代
We just go right up in the usher's face,
只要直接找到引座员
make an excuse,and then boldly walk with purpose.
找个借口 大胆地走向目的地
Okay,well, just show me how.
好吧 示范给我看看
You can direct me. I've done a lot of plays.
你来指导我 我演过很多剧
I could do my "Eliza Doolittle"
我能做伊莉莎 杜丽图(英国女歌手)
before she was civilized" walk.
学会礼貌之前"的步姿
Hello,governor.
嗨 管理员
Wow,that was just ugly. I wish I hadn't seen it.
太丑了 真希望没看见过
All right, just watch me.
好了 看我怎么做
Walk,walk,walk,hair flip, walk,walk.
走走走 甩头发 走
Walk,walk,walk,hair flip, walk,walk.
走走走 甩头发 走
Good,but easy on the hair
很好 但轻点甩头发
flip,Willow smith.
维罗史密斯(童星 威尔史密斯的女儿)
Oh,hi,girls.
嗨 姑娘们
Oh,I heard what happened.
我听说发生的事了
Max,you got pushed in front of a gun.
麦克斯 你被推到前面挡枪子了
You must be very pissed.
一定气坏了吧(pissed亦指尿尿)
Caroline, oh,what a nice outfit.
卡洛琳 衣服真好看
On a scale of one to ten, you're an eight.
要是给分1到10分 你8分(发音同尿尿)
you're an eight
与Urinate发音相同
Get it? Urinate.
明白吗 吓尿了
How do you even know what happened?
你怎么会知道发生了什么
Oh,well,Oleg told me
我和奥列格
when we were upstairs playing "hide the penis,"
在楼上玩"藏小弟弟"游戏时候他告诉我的
and we laughed so hard, we almost peed ourselves,
我们笑得太厉害了 差点尿自己一身
but we didn't because we're not you.
但我们没有 因为我们不是你
Actually,we're going to a movie.
其实 我们要去看电影
Oh,well, that's nice.
那很好
I hope you're gonna wear your big girl pants.
希望你会穿上大号女童裤
Max. What? It's silly and funny.
麦克斯 怎么了 多好笑啊
She's like a Polish fart cushion.
她就像是波兰屁垫
Look,if it makes you feel any better,
如果让你感觉好点
there can't be any pee jokes left.
再也不说吓尿的笑话了
What are you seeing,
你们去看什么
something rated "pee pee 13"?
“尿尿13次"吗
Fart cushions are funny.
屁垫真搞笑
There's the guy. I'm getting a little nervous.
引座员就在那 我有点紧张
I'm starting to sweat like those people
就像"锁定海外"里的那些人
注释：“锁定海外" 电视节目 真实版的午夜惊魂
on Locked Up Abroad. I don't know why.
开始冒汗 不知道为什么
I haven't swallowed a heroin balloon.
我没嗑过海♥洛♥因
Okay,let's go.
好吧 我们走
Pretend we're out of breath.
假装上气不接下气
Out of breath, not out of your mind.
上气不接下气 不是让你头脑发昏
Hey,sorry.
嘿 抱歉
Can we just run back into the theater for a second?
我们能回剧场一下吗
I left my iPhone in there, and the prescription for her anti seizure medication's on it.
我手机落那了 里面有她的抗癫痫药处方
Yeah,which theater were you in?
好的 要进哪个剧场
Theatre five. Went to the 11:15.
第五剧场 11点15开场
Got out at 1:20. A little long.
1点20结束 有点长
Could've cut ten from it.
可以砍掉10分钟的
We'll be back.
一会出来
Wow, your walk with purpose is getting
你的坚定步伐
Almost as impressive as han's "bang, bang,
都快要比上韩的
You're in my house now, bitch!"
这是爷的地盘 小贱♥人"了
I know. What about han?
就是 韩真了不起
Before yesterday, we thought he was 53 and unarmed.
昨天之前我们还以为他53岁手无寸铁
Guess we learn something new about people every day.
看来每天都能发现人新的一面
yeah, like having to learn
是啊 就像我发现
That when you get nervous, I'm disposable.
当你紧张时 我就随用随弃了
That was very uncharacteristic of me.
我平时不是那样的
Hi, um, hallelujah.
哈利路亚
Cool name, by the way.
名字不错
How are you doing today, hallelujah?
过得怎么样 哈利路亚
Bitter.
苦逼
They wouldn't let me put an exclamation point
他们不让在名牌上
On my name tag.
加感叹号
Um, is there any way you could make
能重新做
A fresh batch of popcorn?
一批爆米花吗
I could, but it takes ten minutes,
可以 但要10分钟
And your show starts in two.
而你们的电影2点就开始了
Actually, it takes 3 1/2,
实际上只要3分半
And I can miss a few trailers.
而且错过点预告片没关系
I used to work at a cineplex five.
我以前在五号影城工作
Oh, so now you just know everything about life?
你什么都知道了是吧
Come on, the opening scene sets up
赶紧啊 开场会介绍
Where he gets his superpowers from.
他的超能力从哪来的
Hey, hallelujah here is doing the best he can.
哈利路亚已经尽力了
I mean, based on his name,
虽然从他名字看来
His parents clearly had bigger dreams for him,
他父母显然对他寄予了更大的希望
And it is not his fault you guys showed up two minutes
你们在开场前2分钟才来
Before the show starts.
可不是他的错
Maybe next time, you'll show up ten minutes early
下次早10分钟来
Without the attitude and the fidgety exhaling.
而且别那么牛掰喘粗气的
You think hallelujah doesn't hear that?
你以为哈利路亚会听不见吗
He does. Sorry to be such a problem.
他听见了 抱歉添麻烦了
We'll just take whatever you've got ready.
我们要做好的就行
No, girl. I got you.
不 姐们 我挺你
I'm gonna make you a fresh batch.
这就帮你新做一批
Hallelujah, could I have some fresh too?
哈利路亚 也给我新的好吗
You'll get the burnt ones and like it, nerd.
你就一边吞烧焦的去 呆子
Let's sit down here.
这边坐
Ooh, I'm not sticking to the floor yet.
地板还不粘脚
Fancy theater.
高档影院啊
Oh, hey, guys.
你们好啊
Hope I wasn't too hard on you out there.
在外面对你们没太无情吧
Nice cape.
斗篷不错
Thanks. I had it in my backpack.
谢谢 本来装背包里的
I wasn't sure.
刚不知道该不该穿
You made the right choice.
你的选择是正确的
She likes my cape.
她喜欢我的斗篷
Technically, she likes your sister's cape.
技术上来说是你姐姐的斗篷
Okay, so I don't know anything about these superhero movies.
我一点不懂这些超级英雄电影
It's a remake of a prequel to a sequel?
根据续集重拍的前传
I'm already confused.
我已经困惑了
So there's always a nerdy guy...
一般都是个呆子
And he's either been wronged or bitten
要不蒙冤要不被咬
Or exposed to something toxic.
要不接触了毒素
It gives him superpowers.
让他有了超能力
He's in love with a pretty girl who his rival tries to kill
他会爱上个漂亮姑娘 所以他的对手会想杀死她
But then won't because they have
但是杀不死
To make another movie.
因为还要拍续集
Also, partial nudity,
还包含部分裸♥露
Product placement, dope explosions,
植入广告 毒品爆发
And a killer score by hans zimmer.
外加汉斯 季默的完美配乐
Okay, your knowledge of these superhero movies
你对这些超级英雄电影的知识
Is kind of turning me on right now.
让我有点小性奋了
Wait. Are you kidding me?
等下 开什么玩笑
The hero has red hair as a child?
他小时候是红发
Um, weird, 'cause when he grows up,
奇怪啊 怎么长大了
He has black hair.
就变黑发了呢
Was there some sort of chemical spill,
是不是有化学品泄漏啊
Which, by the way, wasn't in the original comic book!
顺便说下 原版漫画都没有
What am I, dumb?
当我二逼啊
Okay, come on.
好了
Come on, let's go to another movie.
走吧 我们去看别的电影
What are you talking about?
你说什么呢
Well, you obviously hate this.
你明显讨厌这电影
You're yelling at the screen.
你在对着银幕咆哮呢
Yelling at the screen is the best part of going to the movies,
朝屏幕咆哮是最佳电影体验
and more white people should learn that.
更多白人应该知道这点的
oh, wow, look at that.
快看啊
That car just exploded in front of those two girls,
车在那两个女孩面前爆炸了
And one didn't use the other's body
一个居然没用另一个
To block her from the flying debris.
帮她挡飞来的碎片
Are you ever gonna let this go?
有完没完的
I don't know. I mean, it's kind of a big deal.
不知道 这可是大事
You put my life in danger.
你把我置于险境
Well, I've apologized about it twice.
我都道歉两次了
I don't know how much more I can do.
还要我怎么样
Yeah, I could have died,
我可能送命的
But you apologized twice, so I guess we're good.
但你都道歉两次了 那就没事了
I don't like this movie.
我不喜欢这电影
It's violence against women.
对女性太暴力了
Let's go see that katherine heigl rom com sequel.
我们去看凯瑟琳 海格尔的浪漫喜剧
Talk about violence against women.
你还跟我谈什么对女性的暴力
I am gonna go spend some time with katie heigl.
我去找凯瑟琳 海格尔了
At least she won't make me feel guilty.
起码她不会让我愧疚
See ya.
回见
Enjoy three walking on sunshine montages.
享受三部行走在晴天的剪辑
I don't wanna go to a movie by myself, and you're right.
我不想自己去看电影 你是对的
I'm sorry. I hate the way I acted.
我很抱歉 我讨厌自己的表现
I'm a spoiled rich girl, and I always put myself first,
我是个娇惯的富家女 总是自我优先
And I know that's something you would never do.
而你不会这样的
Shut up.
闭嘴
Max, I think I just saw han.
麦克斯 我好像看见韩了
It is han. What's he doing here?
就是韩 他在这干嘛
Why is he sitting all the way in the back?
他坐在这么后面干嘛
I don't know, maybe he's afraid
不清楚 可能
Of blocking absolutely no one's view.
怕他那个身高挡到别人的视线吧
And who is that guy and girl he's sitting with?
和他一起的男女是谁
Is han in a threesome?
韩是不是玩三人行啊
Does he secretly have game?
他是不是有秘密游戏啊
Please. The only game han has
得了 他唯一的游戏
Is "one, two, buckle my shoe."
只有扣鞋绊儿歌
Wait, he's leaving,
等下 他起身了
And so is the guy he was sitting next to.
他旁边的男人也是
Did han just get more interesting?
韩变得有料了吗
We have to follow him.
跟踪他去
he can blast a wall apart with his thoughts,
他能念力炸掉墙
But he can't get out of handcuffs?
却不能挣脱手铐吗
Even I could get out of handcuffs!
我都能挣脱手铐
Have fun being lied to.
继续被蒙骗吧
You're right. You're always right.
你是对的 总是对的
Are you seeing anyone?
有男朋友吗你
That was hard to watch.
惨不忍睹啊
Why is he going to the bathroom with that stranger?
他为什么跟那个陌生人进了卫生间
Is han also a republican senator?
难道韩也是共和党参议员
Usher.
引座员
Are all men's rooms this depressing?
男厕所都这么沉闷吗
We are such different people.
咱俩还真是两种人
I was just gonna say how nice it is.
我刚想说这地方真棒来着
I don't hear sex sounds,
我没听到嘿咻的声音啊
And he's not on the changing table,
而且他也没在婴儿可调座上啊
So maybe drugs are involved.
说不定与毒品相关
You think han's an asian drug dealer?
你觉得韩是个亚裔毒贩
What's he selling,crystal math?
他要卖啥 魔法数学(数学软件)吗
Oh, look.Han's coming.
瞧 韩来了(coming也指高♥潮了)
Aw, gross! No, no!
天啊 太恶心了 不
I meant he's coming this way.
我是说他走过来了
Hey, you're running.Don't run, it's han.
你在跑 别跑了 那可是韩啊
For him, every step we take is like a 100 meter dash.
对于他来说 咱迈一步都算他百米跑的步子了吧
Sorry, you're the one who doesn't want han to see us.
抱歉 是你不想让韩看到咱的 好吧
I just don't want that kind of relationship with him.
我只是不想跟他成为那种关系
You mean the kind of relationship
你是说那种
Where you see someone you know
在电影院看到认识的人
At the movie theater and say hello?
随手打招呼那种关系吗
Yeah, I definitely don't want that.
是的 我当然不想要那样
Ladies, may I see your tickets, please?
女士们 能给我看下你们的票吗
Tickets? Max, do you
票 麦克斯 你买...
Can I see your tickets, please?
能给我看下你的票吗
I saw you go into another theater.
我看到你进了另一个放映室来着
Caroline?
卡洛琳
Hi, honey.
嗨 亲爱的
Hello?
你好
Honey,I forgot my ticket.
亲爱的 我忘了我的票
He has my ticket.
我的票在他那儿
Han, this nice usher man thinks I snuck
韩 这位"友善"的引座员以为
Into the theater,so just show him the tickets.
我偷溜进剧院 给他看看票
You two are together?
你俩是情侣吗
Yeah, why? Oh, it's nothing.
是啊 怎么了 没事
It's none of my business,
这不关我的事
But he just seems too old for you.
只是他对你来说有点儿太老了
He's 29. What?
他才29 什么
Uh, I'm gonna have to see you
我要看下
And your girlfriend's ticket.
你和你女友的票
Uh, I thought I put the ticket in here.
我记得把那张票放这里了
Tickets. You put two tickets in there, honey.
那两张票 你放了两张票在那儿 亲爱的
Um, okay.
好吧
I cannot find it.Damn.
我找不到了 该死
Sir, you know that sneaking into a theater's
先生 你知道偷溜进剧院
A felony, right?
是重罪的吧 好吗
It is?
是吗
Han, what's that face?
韩 你怎么这种表情
It's the same face I made when I peed
这表情跟我尿...
Oh, honey.
亲爱的
How will I live with the shame?
身负这种耻辱 我要怎么活下去啊
Well, at least your fanny pack
至少你的钱包
Isn't the most embarrassing thing about you anymore.
不再是你最丢人的东西了
Well, well, well,look who it is.
瞧瞧这是谁啊
Hair flip and go.
头发甩甩大步走开小姐
I don't know what you're doing, but it feels weird.
我不知道你在搞啥 但感觉很诡异
Now, look who's walk,walk, walking with purpose
瞧 是谁又这样故意走啊走啊
Away from me again.
远离我啊
What?It wasn't a big deal.
什么 这有啥大不了的
Really? 'cause I went to movie jail with han.
真的吗 因为我跟韩被带去了电影院监狱
Cool. We have a mug shot.
真酷啊 还给我们拍了入档大头照
We're a notorious gangster couple now
现在我们成了电影城
Down at the cineplex.
声名狼藉的恶棍情侣了
That's right,han nie and clyde,
就是这样 韩尼和克莱德夫妇
But you know what,I'm fine.
但知道吗 我很好
I'm thrilled, actually,because you walking away
事实上 我非常高兴 你走了
Gave me one thing.
让我明白一件事
An obstructed view of my sweet, sweet ass?
我时隐时现的漂亮挺翘屁♥股吗
No, the satisfaction of knowing
不 我很满足
That you are just as selfish as me.
终于知道你跟我一样自私
what a selfish thing to say.
你怎么能这么自私的说这种话
you can walk,walk, walk away from me, max,
麦克斯 你可以就那样走啊走啊 丢下我
But you can't walk away from knowing
但是你永远丢不下一个事实
That you split the scene.
是你先离开的
What? I thought you were behind me,
什么 我以为你就跟着我后面啊
And besides, we couldn't both get caught.
况且 要是咱都被逮住了
Who would live to tell the tale
谁来诉诸世界
Of the great caroline channing,the girl
伟大的卡洛琳 钱宁
Who couldn't walk fast enough?
走不快的女孩的传奇呢
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.Don't turn this around.
不不不 别颠倒黑白
Now, I see it,the whole "max" of it all.
现在 我看清楚了 真实的麦克斯
When we got caught,you only thought
当我们被逮住了 你只关心
About saving yourself,
怎么自保
And you weren't defending poor hallelujah.
你不是捍卫可怜的哈利路亚
You just wanted fresh popcorn for yourself.
你只想着自己的现爆爆米花
What can I say?I guess you're on to me.
我还能说啥 你说中了
You said you'd take a bullet for me.
你说你愿意为我堵枪子儿的
You'd never take a bullet for me.
你从来都没堵过
Probably not.No one ever takes a bullet.
也许没有吧 谁能堵枪子儿啊
It's just something people say that they don't mean,
这不过是人们随口说说 不得当真的话
Like, "how was your day?"
就像"今天咋样啊"
Or, "we'll stop if it hurts."
或者"要是痛的话 咱就停下"
Wow, so this is who we are, huh?
这就是真实的我们啊
Two selfish girls who always put ourselves
两个自私的女孩儿 永远把自己
Before everyone else and are willing
放在最前面
To do anything to survive?
为了生存 不论代价
Guess we are.
大概是吧
Man, we're gonna crush the cupcake competition.
姐们 咱要在纸杯蛋糕竞争中突出重围
But, max,even though we're ruthless,
麦克斯 即使我们很残忍
Every now and then,on our own behalf,
但常常 我们会主动
We do put ourselves second,
把自己放居第二位
And I guess that's what makes us best friends.
这才让咱成为好朋友的
I don't think I've ever done that.
我应该从没做过那样的事
Yes, you have.
不 你做过的
You let me stay on your couch
在我无家可归的时候
When I had no place to stay.
你让我睡你的沙发
I guess I did.
我想是的
And I gave you
我给你...
Go ahead.
说啊
Well, there must be something where I didn't put
总有那么一回 我没把自己放第一位吧
myself first.
let me know when you find it.
啥时候找到了 跟我说一声
Sophie,just look at you.
苏菲 瞧瞧你
You couldn't look more scrumptious.
你看起来再可口不过了
Oh,maybe I could
也许我能更可口些
With a little chocolate drizzled on me.
只要在我身上再来点儿巧克力滴
Oh, good,there you are, han.
太好了 你在这啊 韩
I just have one question that I have to ask you.
我刚好有个问题要问问你
What is your favorite musical?
你最喜欢哪部音乐剧
Is it the wiz?
是绿野仙踪吗
Wiz
和Whiz同音
Whiz, max!I found another one, right?
撒尿 麦克斯 我又找到一个和尿尿的笑话
How do you even know about this?
你怎么会知道的
Oh, oleg told me while we were having phone sex.
我俩电话做♥爱的时候奥列格说的
And by phone sex, she means we were using the phone
她说的电话做♥爱是指我们做♥爱的时候
In the sex.
用了电话
Don't worry, han.
别担心 韩
A lot of older men can't control their bladder.
很多老年人都管不住自己的膀胱
I am twenty freaking nine!
我他妈才29岁
Ooh, what?
什么
I'm humiliated, max.
我被羞辱了 麦克斯
Hey, listen to me.
听我说
You didn't sell caroline out.
你没有出卖卡洛琳
A lot of people would have,
很多人都会那么做的
But you just stood there like a man
但你就站在那里 像个男人一样
And peed your pants.
往裤子上撒尿了
That's true.I did.
这是真的 确实
By the way, han,why were you
顺便问下 韩
At the movies in the middle of the day?
中午的时候你干嘛去影院啊
Sometimes people bug me,
有时候人群让我觉得烦扰
And I need some time away.
我得想办法消失一会
You know what, han?
你知道吗 韩
You're cool.
你挺酷的
We're gonna hang sometime.
有空儿咱一起出去厮混
Not now,not in a week,
但不是现在 不是本周内
But in the future.
而是未来某天
Just sayin',I got my eye on you.
告诉你 我开始注意你了