幸运项链

hi, I'm gonna be your waitress,
你好 我是今晚的服务生
cause my mother drank.
谁让我妈是不争气的酒鬼呢
We need a sec.
稍等一下
Feeling' kinda generous, take two.
姐大方点 等你们两下好了
Then he said to me, "dude, your vagina is weird."
他对我说"妹子 你的阴♥道长得也太奇葩了"
Dude, that's insane.
他也太扯了吧
It is so not weird.
你那里一点都不奇葩啊
Your vagina's awesome.
你的阴♥道棒呆了
Okay, I'm ready.
好了 我可以点餐了
Now I need a sec.
现在换你们等我一下
Well, it's over.
好了 一切玩完了
I can't say it anymore.
那个词我再也不能说了
The vagina's gone mainstream.
阴♥道变成流行词汇了
What's next? A clothing line at Target?
接下来呢 在百货公司推出服装品牌吗
Aw, Max, I'm sorry.
麦克斯 我也替你难过
It's your favorite word.
那可是你最爱的词
And my favorite body part.
那也是我最爱的部位
But now everyone's saying it.
可现在人人都把它挂嘴边
Well, we can pick another word for it.
我们可以换个词来替代它嘛
Something cute, like cookie.
想个可爱点的 比如"小饼干"
Yeah, it sounds like a good idea
是啊 乍听之下还可以
Until you walk past a bunch of girl scouts
但哪天你碰到一群在大街上卖
selling their cookies on the street.
小饼干的女童军就尴尬了
Well, we've gotta pick something,
我们还是得找个新词
cause vagina's everywhere.
毕竟"阴♥道"已经烂大街了'
Where?
哪条街
Previously on 2 broke girls...
《打工姐妹花》前情回顾
This is invitation to metropolitan museum annual gala.
这是大都会博物馆年度晚会的邀请函
We have the invitation. She'll be there.
我们有邀请函 她又会在场
You are talking about us stalking Martha Stewart.
你是说我们去跟踪玛莎·斯图尔特吗
So you want me to taste your cupcake in the ladies' room?
所以你要我在女厕所吃你的小蛋糕吗
What's inappropriate about that?
还有比这更不合时宜的吗
That is our beer batter
这是我们的酒混面粉
maple bacon spring break cupcake.
加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕
Quite tasty.
蛮好吃的
Do you girls have a card?
你们有名片吗
Martha Stewart likes our cupcakes!
玛莎·斯图尔特喜欢我们的小蛋糕
Max, have you seen my phone?
麦克斯 你看见我的手机了吗
I wanna take a picture of this bad tip
我要把这点少得可怜的小费拍下来
and put it on Instagram.
然后放到图片分享网
Getting loose change used to be so depressing,
以前收到这么散的零钱会难过
but now I can share it with strangers.
但是现在我可以跟陌生人分享一下
Let me sum it up.
我来总结一下
Twitter is stupid.
推特已经够蠢了
And Instagram is twitter for people who can't read.
而图片分享网 就是给不识字的人看的推特
Where is my phone?
我的手机在哪儿
I could've sworn I left it right here, next to yours.
我发誓我把它放在你手机旁边了
Oh, I'll just call it.
我打个电话就知道了
Oh, that's not necessary.
没必要吧
I'm sure it'll turn up...
它会自己跑出来的...
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
老娘的"奶"昔招蜂引蝶一流
注释：美国黑人女歌手酷莉丝名曲《奶昔》
and there like it's better than yours
随便一比都比姐们你牛
In my pocket.
在我口袋里
Max, why are you hiding my phone in your apron?
麦克斯 你干嘛把我手机藏在你围裙里
Is that the big question, really?
这不是重点 好吗
cause I think the bigger question is,
我觉得重点是'
Why is your ringtone
你的铃♥音为什么会是
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard?
老娘的"奶"昔招蜂引蝶一流
If you have to ask that,
如果连这你都不知道
You clearly have not seen my milkshake.
那想必你是没看见过我的"奶昔"
Okay, here. I'm busted.
好吧 还给你 被你逮到了
I was checking to see if Martha Stewart called us yet.
我检查玛莎·斯图尔特给我们打电话了没
You checked it again?
你又检查啊
You check it, like, every 15 minutes.
你每15分钟就要看一遍
I know! I am acting like a little bitch.
是啊 我现在就像个没骨气的妞
Max, Martha Stewart has our business card.
麦克斯 玛莎·斯图尔特有我们的名片
She liked our cupcakes. She'll call.
她喜欢我们的小蛋糕 她就会打电话
Look, in my defense, she asked for our card.
我想说的是 是她先开口要的名片
She got us all hot and bothered. And then what?
把我们搞得既兴奋又期待 然后呢
Nothing.
音讯全无
Martha Stewart is a cake tease.
玛莎·斯图尔特敢说不敢做
How dare you!
你好大的胆子
Martha Stewart is not a cake tease.
玛莎·斯图尔特才不是敢说不敢做呢
Nothing worse than a cake tease.
敢说不敢做的人最差劲了
Ask any man.
不信你随便找个男人问问
Yeah, you shower, you powder your sack.
你兴冲冲沐浴更衣 还给蛋蛋擦香香
For what?
不给搞算毛啊
Look, Max, relax. She'll call.
麦克斯 别紧张 她会打给我们的
Everything's gonna work out.
一切都会水到渠成的
I mean, a year ago,
一年以前
we didn't even have a cupcake business.
我们连小蛋糕事业都没有
Look how far we've come.
现在进步了这么多 不爽吗
I haven't come at all,
全怪那个敢说不敢做的人
thanks to the cake tease.
我一点"爽"感都没有
Oh, your cupcake is quite tasty.
你们的小蛋糕真好吃
Do you have a card?
你们有名片吗
Max, that's a good Martha Stewart.
麦克斯 你学她可真像
I know, 'cause I can't get her siren voice out of my head.
我知道 因为我忘不掉她蛊惑人的声音
Wow, Han.
哎哟 小憨憨
You look you were hit by a mardi gras
你就像被一辆狂欢节花车撞完
and a gay pride float.
然后又被一辆男同游♥行彩车撞到
I have just returned from the exciting
我刚从激动人心的
Manhattan restaurant trade show.
曼哈顿餐馆贸易展览归来
Look at all this free swag.
快看这些免♥费的赠品
And I've got stress balls.
我还拿了很多减压球
Well, just go in the back and take care of yourself.
那你去后面好好"自己玩"吧
Listen up, everybody.
各位听着
I have a big announcement.
我有大事宣布
Well, more like a 5'1 annoucement.
哪能多大 顶多一米六
I am changing the diner to state of the art
我要把餐厅改造现代化的餐厅
computer "Power touch" ordering system for food and checks.
点餐和结账采用电脑智慧触控式系统
I am not learning anything new.
我才不学什么新东西呢
I work here because I have no skills.
老娘来这上班 就是因为没啥能力
You don't have to learn it, Max.
这系统不必学 麦克斯
It's very smart machine.
它是台很智能的机器
It will help you.
它会帮你的
That's how it started with machines in The Matrix.
《黑客帝国》里的机器一开始也是那样啊
Next thing you know, the human race was enslaved.
结果很快人类就变成了电脑的奴隶
Been there, done that.
我亲身体验过了
I'm with Max.
我支持麦克斯
We are doing it.
不行也得行
It's important to move the business into the future.
让生意与未来接轨是十分重要的
So get with it, you Luddites.
慢慢习惯吧 卢德分子们
注释：卢德分子: 19世纪对抗工业革命反对机械代替人力的人们
Girls, we got big trouble.
姑娘们 咱们有麻烦啦
If he starts using a new system,
他要是搞了这个新系统
I won't be to use my old system,
我就没办法用以前的系统
where I skim somethig of the top.
也就表示没办法捞油水了
Earl, skimming?
厄尔 捞油水吗
I'm kind of shocked.
我真不敢相信你会这样
I don't do it for me.
我又不是为了自己
You know how once a month you girls
你们俩不是每个月都会
have a really good night in tips?
有个小费满满的夜晚吗
You are welcome.
大恩不言谢 记心里就行
I have been lying awake at night trying to figure out
我那晚整宿睡不着 就是想不明白
how we made that 200 bucks with her skills.
就她那样 我们怎么可能赚200元小费
Hey, girls. Hey, Sophie.
姑娘们 你好啊 苏菲
You know, every time I come here,
我每次来光顾都在惊讶
I'm surprised you're still open.
你们店怎么还没倒闭
Here you go, Sophie.
给 苏菲
Where's the little asian woman
那个每次都给我递菜单的
That always hands me my menu?
小亚洲姑娘哪去了
Asian woman?
亚洲姑娘
You mean Han?
你是说阿憨吗
Sophie, Han's a man.
苏菲 阿憨是男的
If you say so.
你说是就是吧
Is there anything special tonight?
今晚有什么特别菜吗
Yes.
有的
Here I am...
特别菜来也
with treats for my sweet.
还带了礼物给我的小甜心
Day glo zebra?
荧光斑马纹
That's my favorite animal.
我最爱斑马了
Oh, and edible underwear!
可食用内衣裤
That's my favorite snack.
那是我最爱的点心呢
Yeah, and they're crotchless, so less carbs.
而且内♥裤无裆 让你少吃点碳水化合物
Oh, and my favorite microwavable lube.
还有我最爱的可微波润滑液
And what's this?
这是什么
Toothbrushes?
牙刷吗
Oh, that's going to hurt you, but okay.
你会疼的吧 不过你喜欢就好
No, I want to leave them at your house,
不 我是想把这些留在你家
Now that you and I are exclusive.
毕竟我们俩现在是专属情人了
Exclusive?
专属情人吗
Wait, hold phone.
等等 我先问清
Are you telling me that you and I
你觉得我们俩还没到
are not exclusive?
专属情人的地步吗
Exclusive?
专属情人吗
Oh, come on.
哎哟 逗死我了
Stop it now. Go on Jay Leno.
要被你逗死了 接着说笑啊
Caroline, did you think Sophie and I were exclusive?
卡洛琳 你觉得我和苏菲到专属对方的地步了吗
Well, you have stopped showing us your penis.
你现在的确是不对我们露鸟了
Exactly!
就是嘛
If that's not exclusive, I don't know what is.
这都不算对你一心一意 那什么才算
Exclusive!
还一心一意呢
Oh, my God.
我要笑死了
Oh, come on, stop it, before I
别逗我了 不然我要...
It happened.
来不及了
I split my spanx.
我的塑身衣笑崩了
Martha Stewart, please.
请接玛莎·斯图尔特
It's Michelle Obama.
我是米歇尔·奥巴马[美国总统夫人]
What's this about?
找她什么事吗
My sheets shrunk and I am pissed.
我的床单洗缩水了 老娘很不爽
Hello?
还在吗
Max, it didn't work when you were Mick Jagger
你假装是米克·贾格尔说
注释：米克·贾格尔，滚石乐团主唱
with a busted muffin tin,
你的松饼托烤坏了 没用
Or Alicia Keys with a wonky shower curtain.
装艾丽西亚·凯斯说浴帘摇摇欲坠也没用
注释：艾丽西亚·凯斯，美国知名女歌手
And it really didn't work when you were Steve jobs
你假装是死而复生的史蒂夫·贾伯斯
注释：史蒂夫·贾伯斯，苹果电脑前首席执行官
back from the dead with thoughts on her panini press.
说要指点她的三明治机 更没人理你
Stop sober dialing Martha Stewart!
别在清醒时 一直打电话骚扰人家了
Who says I'm sober?
谁说我清醒了
Max, give me your phone.
麦克斯 你的手机给我
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
老娘的"奶"昔招蜂引蝶一流
Now give me my phone.
把我的手机换给我
Okay, take it, done.
拿去 行了吧
I'm over her.
我看开了
When is she gonna call me?
她什么时候才会打给我啊
My milkshake would totally bring her to the yard.
我的"奶"昔一定能把她招来的
Max, this isn't you.
麦克斯 这不像你啊
I mean, you're strong.
你是女强人
You're a badass.
女硬汉
You beat H.P.V. with tylenol.
你吃止痛药就能消灭乳突病毒了
注释：H.P.V :某些种类可随性行为入侵人体后引起疣或癌症
And it wasn't even the name brand.
而且你是吃的还是杂牌货
What's wrong with you?
你这是怎么回事
I was a virgin before Martha, okay?
玛莎破了我的处 行了吧
No one ever told me I was good at anything before her.
在她之前 从来没有人夸过我行
And you never forget your first rich white woman.
人生"第一个"大款白女人哪能说忘就忘
With or without Martha Stewart,
无论有没有她的帮忙
We're gonna build our cupcake business
我们都会建立起自己的小蛋糕生意
And be a success, I just know it.
然后飞黄腾达 我看得见那未来
How? How do you know that?
你怎么看得到 你怎么能肯定
I know because you have the talent,
那是因为我知道你有天赋
I have the vision, and because I feel it.
我有洞察力 因为我能感觉到成功在望
I feel it here.
打从心里感觉到
Oh, blegh! Your heart?
恶心啊 还你的心呢
No. My pearls my lucky pearls.
不是啦 是我的幸运珍珠项链
By lucky, do you mean ugly?
是幸运还是丑爆啊
I've worn these every day
自从我被驱逐出我家之后
since I was evicted from my townhouse.
我就天天戴着它
This pearl necklace brings me luck.
这珍珠项链给我带来好运
You
你...
You think your life is lucky?
你觉得你好运吗
This morning you used toilet paper as a coffee filter...
今早你用厕纸当咖啡机滤纸
and then used it as toilet paper.
滤完之后再拿回去当厕纸用
I know this sounds silly to you,
我知道你觉得我白♥痴
But there is something about
但每天我只要一戴上
putting on these pearls every day
我的珍珠项链
that makes me feel strong, confident,
就会觉得自己既坚强又自信
and like anything is possible.
好像一切皆有可能
And as long as I have these lucky
而只要我还有幸运项链的陪...
Oh, no. Oh, no!
不是吧 不是吧
No, no, no, don't freak out.
别别别 别恐慌
Don't freak out. We'll get em.
别恐慌 我们快捡回来
My pearls!
我的珍珠
My lucky pearls!
我的幸运珍珠
Yes, yes, we have identified the problem.
是是是 我们知道有什么麻烦
Just pick them up.
快动手捡起来吧
Looks like somebody found breakfast.
看来有人先行享用早餐啦
No, chestnut!
栗宝 不可以
I'm still using that.
这锅我会继续拿来做哦
Well, nothing's gonna work out now.
现在做什么都是徒劳无功
Here comes the bad luck.
厄运已经降临了
Don't be ridiculous.
说什么傻话
Your luck couldn't get any worse.
你本来就衰到不能再衰了
Or could it?
原来真的一切皆有可能
Okay, Earl.
你看 厄尔
This is the L 520 order system touch pad.
这是L 520点菜系统触控板
Look how simple. See?
你看有多简单 瞧
I'm telling you,
你听我说
I can't figure this tricky little thing out.
我学不会这复杂的玩意
Earl, it's an on/off button.
厄尔 刚才的是开关钮
Oh, slow down.
不会吧
It does both?
那一键还两用啊
Let me just charge this up for you right here.
我先帮把这宝贝充上电吧
This thing has been plugged
这块插线板
more than the Kardashian sisters.
比卡戴珊姐妹被"插"得还满啊
I better check the old wiring in diner first.
我还是先检查一下餐馆这老电路吧
Max, now I feel like everyone's staring
麦克斯 我现在感觉大家都在
at my chest area.
盯着我胸口看
Well, welcome to my life,
欢迎来到我的世界
Every day since I was nine.
我九岁之后就过着这样的生活
That necklace meant something special to me.
那珍珠项链对我有特别意义
Didn't you ever lose anything sentimental
难道你没有失去过你拥有很久
you had for a long time?
感情深厚的事物吗
My mother, but then she found her way back.
我妈啊 不过后来她又自己跑回来了
Look, I am done waiting for Martha to call.
我受够了一直等她回电
I say we go down there with some cupcakes,
不如我们再做点蛋糕去找她
remind her how much she liked them,
提醒她当初她有多喜欢它们
and suggest she puts us on her show.
然后建议她邀请我们上她节目
No, I mean, I can't go without my pearls.
不行 我珍珠都没了怎么去见人啊
And it's more than just the luck.
它不仅仅代表着好运
It's who I was before I lost everything.
还代表着我破产前的身份
You know how I always say,
你知道我说
Hi, I'm Caroline Channing,
你好 我是卡洛琳·钱宁时
and then touch my pearls?
每次都会摸摸珍珠吧
I'm not just introducing myself.
我不只是在自我介绍
I'm reminding myself.
那也是在提醒我自己
Well, let me remind you of something else.
那让我也提醒你另外一件事吧
Yesterday you told me
昨天你告诉我
we were going to rule the world with cupcakes.
我们能靠着小蛋糕征服全世界呢
Yeah, that was the pearls talking.
有珍珠撑腰 说话自然气壮
Okay, well, now I'm talking.
那现在轮到我说了
There is no luck.
幸运是不存在的
There is only work.
努力才是硬道理
And right now, you're working my last nerve.
可你现在只让我想对你使用暴"力"
So I am going down there myself.
所以我打算自己去找她
and if Martha won't help me,
如果她不愿意帮忙
I'ma bust her kneecaps with a rolling pin
我就用擀面棍打爆她膝盖
and then say, "now that's a good thing."
然后说"这样才是一件好事"
It's a good thing.
家政女皇常说"这是一件好事"
Okay, what if we just send Martha an E mail,
这样吧 我们给她发封电邮如何
so we're not just standing in her office,
这样就不用去到她办公楼
begging some receptionist?
求前台放我们进去了
That won't do anything. Yes, it will.
那样一点屁用都没有 有用的
I craft amazing business E mails.
我超会写商业电邮呢
I went to Wharton.
我可是沃顿高材生呢
Please don't, Max. That's all I have left.
求你嘴下留情 我就剩这点资本了
Max, Caroline, I found something
麦克斯 卡洛琳
at the restaurant trade show
我在餐馆贸易展览里
you might be interested in.
发现了点你们会感兴趣的东西哦
The only restaurant trade I'm interested in
我唯一有兴趣的餐馆贸易
is if we can exchange you for anybody else.
就是看能不能把你以物易物走
You won't be laughing in a minute.
看了你就不会笑我了
Look, it's a cupcake from the new
你看 这是我从最新研发的
state of the art cupcake ATM machine.
自助小蛋糕机买来的小蛋糕
Sprinkles cupcakes plans to be put them everywhere.
人家连锁小蛋糕店打算城里广设这机器
Soon, everyone will be able to just push a button,
很快 大家只需按下按钮
Day or night, and get the cupcake.
无论白天黑夜 随时都能吃到小蛋糕
So, I guess what I'm saying is,
所以我想说的是
You might be screwed.
你们俩可能完了
Delicious...
美味可口
And no attitude.
不用受气
well, more bad luck.
坏运气接踵而至
I thought you were kidding,
我原本以为你在开玩笑
but the machines are taking over.
但机器真的要取代人类了
We can't compete with that.
我们斗不过机器
The business is done. Game over.
我们的生意完蛋了 游戏结束
Man, you are never gonna make it in the future.
天啊 你这种态度怎么在未来混啊
This is where the humans fight.
人类就应该在此时奋起反击
This is where we march down to Martha Stewart
我们就应该在此时 向玛莎·斯图尔特示♥威
and demand a damn blurb,
要求她帮我们大力宣传
So we can compete with the machines...
这样我们才能跟机器斗
Just like in "Terminator 2: rise of the desserts."
就像《终结者2:甜点的觉醒》
注释：《终结者》是一部讲述机器人和人类斗争的科幻电影
Fine. Let's go see Martha.
好吧 我们去找玛莎
She's our only hope.
她是我们唯一的希望了
My lucky necklace is gone.
我的幸运项链没了
We can no longer just wait for magic to happen.
我们不能再坐等奇迹发生
Uh, thank you, by the way,
对了 谢谢你啊
for never telling me that our former plan was magic.
从没告诉我 原本的计划是等天降鸿福
We'll just reintroduce ourselves and our cupcakes to Martha
我们向玛莎重新介绍自己 和我们的小蛋糕
and impress her all over again,
然后让她再次记住我们
Even though I'm wearing a necklace that I hate.
虽然现在的我 戴着一条我讨厌的项链
It's limp, anemic, and lackluster.
这项链没个性 没活力 没光泽
I have an Olsen twin around my neck.
我脖子上戴着的彷佛是奥尔森姐妹
注释：奥尔森姐妹是美国的电视明星和街拍明星特点是衣着随意，脸色苍白
here.
拿着
what are you doing?
你这是干嘛
so Martha will recognize me.
这样玛莎就能认出我了
Hi, excuse me. Two questions.
打扰了 问你两件事
Which floor is Martha Stewart on?
玛莎·斯图尔特的办公室在几楼
And should I lose this necklace?
我应该拿掉这条项链吗
Well, your silence speaks volumes.
好吧 沉默说明一切
Hi, I'm not crazy,
你好 我不是疯子
so you can just tell me the floor number.
你可以把楼层告诉我
Elevator right over there, 15th floor,
15楼 电梯在那边
Martha Stewart living omnimedia.
玛莎·斯图尔特生活媒体公司
Just got a little damp.
有点小失落
Thanks for your help. Feels better.
谢谢你的建议 感觉好多了
smart, getting necklace advice
真聪明 问一个没有脖子的人
from a guy with no neck.
你的脖子该不该戴项链
Wait. Is that
慢着 那不就是...
That's the cupcake machine that han was talking about.
那就是阿憨说的小蛋糕自助机
注释：自助小蛋糕机是真实存在全美目前唯一的一台，位于加州比佛利山庄
Ugh, no!
天啊
I was hoping it'd be ugly,
我还希望它会很丑呢
but it's pink and really cute.
但它居然是粉色 而且很可爱
R2 D2It's like a gay R2 D2.
就像一台基佬版的R2 D2
注释：电影《星球大战》里经♥典的机器人角色 R2 D2
Well, a gayer R2 D2.
已经够基了 它更基一筹
Who wouldn't want a cupcake from this?
谁会想吃从这玩意出来的小蛋糕啊
No one.
没人
We have to mess her up. What?
我们要给它点"颜色"看看 什么
Why are you carrying spray paint in your purse?
你怎么会在包里随身带着喷漆呢
For the same reason I carry a tampon.
跟我随身带卫生棉条是一个道理
cause you never know.
以备不时之需嘛
We are not gonna destroy someone else's property.
我们不能破坏人家的东西
Well, we have to do something,
我们必需得做点什么啊
cause it's that machine or us.
我们不搞死它 它就会玩死我们'
Oh, I know.
我知道了
We can open the little door and put a poop in it.
我们可以打开那扇小门 放坨屎进去
Not one of mine. Jeez!
当然不是我的啦 天啊
What am I, a pig?
你把我当成什么了 猪吗
Well, I'm not doing it.
反正我是不干
No, we just get some puppy poop from the street.
不是啦 我们可以从大街上捡点狗屎回来
No!
不要
We are not that desperate.
我们没绝望到那种程度
And I'm out of wetnaps.
而且我的湿巾纸用完了
No, see, we already met Martha.
不是的 我们以前跟玛莎见过面
We're just stopping by to say hi.
现在只是过来跟她问声好
You've already met Martha.
你们以前跟玛莎见过面
You're just stopping by to say hi. Yes.
现在只是过来跟她问声好 对
Martha Stewart asked us for our card.
玛莎·斯图尔特要了我们的名片
Martha Stewart asked you for your card.
玛莎·斯图尔特要了你们的名片
And where should I tell Martha she asked for
那我能问下玛莎在哪里要了你们的名片吗
In the ladies' room.
女厕所
Martha Stewart asked you for your card in the ladies' room.
玛莎·斯图尔特在女厕所要了你们的名片
Okay.
好吧
Don't make it sound like that. It happened.
别说得好像是我们瞎掰的 事实就是如此
We cornered her in the ladies' room and
我们在女厕所堵她 然后...
okay, don't make it sound like that either.
好了 也别说成是这样
We went to a gala on the off chance
我们去晚会上碰运气
that she would be gracious enough
希望玛莎能和蔼地尝一个
to try one of our cupcakes and she did.
我们做的小蛋糕 结果她的确尝了
She was very gracious.
她十分和蔼可亲
Yeah, maybe cornered was the wrong word.
对啊 或许"堵"这个词用得不太对
It's not like we went there to hunt her down.
我们又不是去那里追捕她
it's not like you went there to hunt her down.
你们又不是去那里追捕她
It's not.
真的不是
Okay, I hear your tone.
好吧 我听出你的语气
I see what's going down here.
知道你的把戏是什么了
You think I'm some kind of a problem.
你觉得我们是来找麻烦的
Well, for the record, Martha came on to me.
我要声明一句 是玛莎先撩我的
All right. Okay.
好吧 算了
This is not going as well as we had hoped.
此行不如我们预期般顺利
Don't know how it could without my magic pearls.
没了我的魔法项链 果然一事无成
Okay, look.
好吧 听着
I get that you're not gonna let us up there.
我明白你不会放我们进去
And I don't blame you,
我也不怪你
what, with this one talking about magic.
因为这家伙在扯什么魔法
But just so you know, we are not lying.
但我得澄清 我们没有说谎
It happened.
确有此事
And after we hunted her down
在我们逮到她后
Because, yeah, you got us on that, we did
没错 是你让我们不得不说出实话
Martha told us
玛莎对我们说
she liked our entrepreneurial drive.
她喜欢我们俩白手起家的精神
Well, that does sound like Martha.
这话的确像是玛莎会说的
Okay, I'll send these up. Have a seat.
好吧 我帮你们送上去 先请坐吧
Ahh, thank you so much.
太谢谢你了
And here, uh, please take one,
给 你拿一个试试吧
Just so you can see for yourself
这样你也能亲自验证下
why Martha asked for our card.
为什么玛莎会要我们的名片
Well, I was gonna get a cupcake
好吧 我本来也打算等会
from that cute machine downstairs later.
去楼下机器弄个小蛋糕吃
Oh, don't.
千万别去
I heard someone found something nasty in that...
我听说 "一个小时后"有人会在里面
in about an hour.
发现怪东西呢
Max.
麦克斯
And this is our beer batter
这是我们的酒混面粉
Maple bacon spring break cupcake.
加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕
I can see why Martha ow!
我知道为什么玛莎会...
What the
什么
I cracked my tooth!
我牙齿裂了
What? Oh!
什么
What is that? Is it
什么东西啊 是
Is that glass?
是玻璃吗
No, it's a pearl.
不是 是珍珠
I'm so sorry.
真抱歉
Sorry? You're sorry?
抱歉 抱歉有屁用
I've been wearing invisaligns for 11 months!
我都戴了11个月的透明矫正器了
Well, there goes our big break.
我们生意的大突破就此告终
Never would've happened if I had had my necklace.
如果我的幸运项链在的话 就不会发生这种事了
The one with the lucky pearls
你说的是那条有着幸运珍珠
that broke into the batter and that woman
结果线断珍珠撒 还掉进面粉糊里
just spit into her hand mixed with saliva and blood?
害人家口破血流口水滴的项链吗
That lucky necklace?
是那条幸运项链吧
Yes.
对啊
Might as well face it.
借此面对现实吧
You and I are on our own.
我们俩只能自食其力
And not just because of Martha either.
这不只是因为玛莎的这件事
Because there is no such thing as good luck.
而是因为这世上没有所谓的"好运"
Never seen it.
见都没见过
And all lucky charms are stupid,
所有的幸运物都愚蠢无比
except for the Lucky Charms,
唯一的例外是"幸运物早餐片"
which are magically delicious.
它奇迹般地好吃
Look at it over there.
看那台自助小蛋糕机
Gay R2 D2 just laughing at us.
基佬R2 D2都在笑我们了
You were right, Max.
麦克斯 你之前说得对
You and I are on our own.
我们俩只能自食其力了
We're just a little start up cupcake company
我们只是一家刚起步的小蛋糕店
in a hard, hard world.
在这乱世中求生存
And we gotta take matters into our own hands.
我们得亲自动手 扫除面前障碍
Cover me.
掩护我
Wait, wait, no.
等等 别啊
No, don't do it now.
别现在干啊
The guard is right there. Hey, you!
警卫就在那里呢 喂 你
Stop that!
快住手
What kind of freaks deface a cupcake machine?
怎么会有变态想要乱喷小蛋糕机啊
Run run run.
快跑快跑
Okay, stop, stop, stop. We lost him.
行了 停停停 甩掉他了
You know you only tagged the wall, right?
你知道你没喷到机器 只喷到了墙吧
Yes, I have no luck.
知道啊 我真是倒霉透了
No one has any luck...
世上没人有好运气
with the possible exception of Lindsay
除了林赛·罗韩的律师吧 有她这个回头客
Lohan's lawyer.
林赛·罗韩 美国知名年轻女星曾多次犯事而反复出入监狱
Look, it's Martha!
你看 玛莎在那里
She's getting in that car. Give me the cupcakes.
她要上车了 把小蛋糕递给我
I'm going after her before she talks
我要在那个吃到珍珠的女人
to that lady whose mouth we broke.
告状之前先跟她谈谈
Max, don't jiggle the cupcakes! Don't worry.
麦克斯 别晃坏了小蛋糕 别担心
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
老天啊 上帝啊 耶稣啊
Max, are you all right?
麦克斯 你没事吧
Are you all right?
你还好吧
I'm fine.
我没事
No broken bones,
也没骨折
which is surprising, because when I was kid,
真是奇迹啊 因为我小时候
we couldn't afford milk.
没钱喝牛奶补钙
Actually the only time my mother bought milk
我妈唯一买过一次牛奶
was when my face was on the side of the carton.
还是因为牛奶盒上有我的照片呢[失踪儿童]
Are you sure you're all right?
你确定你真的没事吗
Yeah.
没事啦
I guess there is such a thing as luck.
原来世上真的有幸运这么一件事
And tomorrow night
从明晚开始
when you come in for takeout, Sophie,
当你再次步入餐厅呢 苏菲
All Max has to do is hit this little thing.
麦克斯只需要轻击这个小东西
Well, if I'm allowed to hit little things,
如果我可以这么做的话
You're next.
我一定击爆你这个小东西
Change makes everyone so tense.
改变令大家都紧张兮兮
Kitchen is now closed.
厨房现在关了
I have plans.
我还有约
Big plans.
重要的约呢
Sophie, I understand
苏菲 我知道
your relationship with Oleg is complicated,
你跟奥列格的关系很复杂
So let's simplify it.
所以我就简单一问
Are you having sex in our building tonight,
你今晚会在咱楼里做♥爱吗
and do I have to wear earplugs?
我需要先戴好耳塞吗
I will be alone...
今晚我独守空闺
But wear them anyway.
你还是戴着以防万一吧
Hi, um, sorry, we're closed.
您好 抱歉 我们关门了
I do not wish to eat.
我不是来吃东西的
I just got collect call from Oleg.
奥列格打电话让我上门
She said we are closed.
她说关门了
Oh? And who are you?
是吗 你哪位啊
I'm the last person you will see
我是你被人废了双腿之前
before you learn how to walk again.
见到的最后那个人
Stay away from Oleg,
离奥列格远点
Or I'll pull your intestines out through your nose
不然老娘会把你的肠子从鼻孔拉出
and give them to her to wear as new necklace.
然后送给她 当新项链戴
Fine.
行
I will leave.
我走
But only because you have eyes of a python,
但我是给你蟒蛇般煞气的双眼面子
And I have possible U.T.I.
还有我最近貌似尿道感染了
Sophie...
苏菲
Why don't you just admit it, you and Oleg?
你就承认你跟奥列格关系不一般嘛
What?
什么
It's not like I want him.
不是我想要他
It's just that where I come from,
只是我家乡那里的习惯是
You never throw anything away.
我用完了 也绝对不扔
Here you go, ladies.
拿去吧 姑娘们
Enjoy the extra tips from your credit cards,
享受从刷卡的客人身上捞来额外小费吧
because when Han flips that switch,
因为阿憨一旦按下那个改朝换代的按钮
The only tip I can give you is,
我能给你们的小费[小秘诀]
don't wash your hair every day.
就只剩别天天洗头发了
It dries it out.
头发会丧失水分的
Okay. Here comes the future.
好啦 一起迈向未来吧
One, two
一 二
This old building sucks me so hard.
这破楼真♥他♥妈要把我搞死了
Congratulations, ladies.
恭喜你们俩啦
This is your lucky night.
今晚是你们的幸运夜
Speaking of luck,
说到幸运
here are your pearls.
这些是你的珍珠
I found most of them, but I think
我找回了绝大多数
Chestnut ate a few.
但我猜栗宝吃掉了几颗
You can dig for those later yourself.
你之后自己去慢慢"挖掘"吧
Max.
麦克斯
And it won't look the same,
但它是弄回不了原样了
because you have to string them on this cheap ass wire
因为你得自己用这便宜烂线穿上
I got at the hipster bead store...
这是我在嬉皮串珠店买的
Beading off.
店名叫"得以珠之"
We can add this Earl bonus money
我们可以把厄尔给我们的额外收入
to our cupcake business total.
加到小蛋糕生意基金里啊
Yeah, that 150 will really put a dent
加上那150块 咱们离目标
in the 250,000 we need.
又迈进了"一大步"呢
We'll get there, Max.
有志者事竟成嘛
Because you and I have something Martha Stewart and machines don't.
因为我们有着家政女皇跟小蛋糕机都没有的东西
Unpaid bills?
未缴的账单吗
Mushrooms growing on our bathroom rug?
还是浴室门口地毯上长的小蘑菇
No, each other.
我们有着彼此嘛
Aww, a year later you're still
哎哟 都认识一年了
trying to get me to feel things.
你还在想着让我有点人性
Do you wanna know the real reason
你想知道我觉得
I thought this necklace was so lucky?
它是幸运项链的真正原因吗
I was wearing it the day I met you.
遇见你的那天 我就戴着它
So, I'm gonna have some extras.
会有多余的珍珠呢
Do you wanna make one for yourself?
你想给自己也做一个吗
Nah, I've had plenty of pearl necklaces,
不用 我有过很多"珍珠项链"了
注释：珍珠项链:也有性♥爱完，男人射♥精在女性脖子周围的意思
and I find them more sticky than lucky.
我觉得它们是黏腻而不是幸运
Max, ms@MarthaStewartinc.Com
麦克斯 玛莎斯图尔特网寄信来了
Haven't forgotten about you, girls.
我可没忘了你们俩姑娘哦
Martha Stewart.
玛莎·斯图尔特
Just when I thought I was out,
我才以为人生已经无望
She pulls me back in again.
她又重燃我希望之火