小谢尔顿

Young Sheldon S07E10

Part 1 May 14, 2024, 10:20 a.m.

♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少年谢尔顿
《少年谢尔顿》前情提要
Previously on Young Sheldon...
这可不妙
Oh, that ain't good.
康妮·塔克
Connie Tucker,
请你别再跑了
please stop running.
好你只要签一份协议就不用出庭受审
A deal can be made without going to trial.
你认罪付罚金吊销营业执照
You plead guilty, pay a fine, lose your business license,
可能再做些社区服务
maybe some community service,
就可以被判缓刑不用坐牢
probation, but no jail time.
那么...
So...
我去告诉他们你愿意签协议
do I tell them we have a deal?
好吧 -谢天谢地
Okay, fine. - Oh, thank God.
我这么老了还怎么找第三春啊
I'm too old to find somebody new.
梅德福法♥院♥
你好我是康妮·塔克
Hi, I'm Connie Tucker.
我需要找到我的假释官并跟她报到
I'm supposed to be reporting to my probation officer?
你找到她啦请进
You found her. Come on in.
抱歉我有点迟到
Sorry I'm a little late.
今天手脚不是那么利索
Not moving very fast today.
你被捕的时候不是正在逃跑吗
Weren't you arrested running from the police?
身体状况有好有坏嘛
Well, I have my good days.
你的缓刑条款
So the terms of your probation
要求你得做180小时的社区服务
require you to do 180 hours of community service.
而你目前做了...
And you're currently sitting at...
0小时
zero.
此言差矣
Not true.
我有去给老人家朗读东西
I've been reading to the elderly.
在哪里做的呢
Oh. Where at?
餐厅
Chi-Chi's.
我男友忘了带眼镜
My boyfriend forgot his glasses,
所以我读菜单给他听
so I read him the menu.
你觉得这一切是玩笑吗
This is a joke to you.
是这么希望的
Well, I was hoping.
你觉得搞嬉皮笑脸这套能让你刑罚轻一点吗
You think putting on this act is gonna get you a lighter sentence?
套
Act?
哪一套啊
What act?
你看我的鼻子
Look at my nose.
然后呢...
Okay...
你知道我的鼻子有什么本事吗
You know what this nose can do?
它能闻到远在十万八千里外的狗屁
It can smell bull-pucky from two counties over.
你知道它现在闻到什么了吗
And you know what it's smelling right now?
一坨新鲜又巨大的
A big, steamy pile.
那你是想要我做哪种社区服务嘛
What kind of community service are we talking about?
我可不想要去高速旁边
I can't be up there on the interstate
跟那些酒鬼一起捡垃圾
picking up trash with some winos.
那我也还有一些其他选项
Well, there are other options.
你说
Hit me.
去仁人家园怎么样
How about Habitat for Humanity?
帮可怜的人们盖个家
Build some poor soul a home.
龙♥卷♥风♥把我家都卷成渣了
The tornado blew mine to smithereens.
要不送两个好心人来帮我盖新房♥子吧
How about some do-gooder build me a home?
那下一个
Moving on.
你有生化防护服吗
You own a hazmat suit?
什么为什么这么问
What? Why-why?
肝炎诊所的底下有个污水管
There's a sewage pipe under the hepatitis clinic
正等候您光临
with your name on it.
你再想想吧
Let's keep thinking.
我们还有...
Well, we got...
动物收♥容♥所♥ 图书馆教会
animal shelters, libraries, churches...
任何教会都行吗
Ooh. Is that any church?
是啊只要他们愿意为你签工作时数单就行
Yeah. As long as they sign off on your hours.
这话我爱听
Oh, I like where this is heading.
为什么
Why?
虔诚的女基♥督♥教♥徒♥永远乐意为教会服务
A good Christian woman always is eager to serve.
一个开地下赌场的女基♥督♥教♥徒♥吗
A Christian woman who ran a backroom casino?
主原谅了我的罪或许你也应该这么做
Hey, God forgave me, maybe you should, too.
你知道我有权送你去坐牢吗
Do you understand I have the power to throw you in jail?
说实话我不知道
To be honest, I did not.
那个东西不放这边
That doesn't go there.
无所谓的
Doesn't matter.
把豆子罐头跟果酱腌菜摆一起吗
Canned beans next to jarred preserves?
谁在乎呢 -我在乎
Who cares? - I care.
没人在乎你在不在乎这件事
Well, no one cares that you care.
我就是人我在乎我在乎这件事啊
I'm someone. And I care that I care.
我也在乎我在乎自己在乎这件事
And I care that I care that I care.
好了够啦
Okay. That's enough.
完事了吗
Are we done?
你在着急什么
What's your hurry?
我要错过电视节目今天的亲子大鉴定单元了
It's paternity test day on Ricki Lake and I'm missing it.
如果大家都更在乎什么东西该放到哪里
If people paid more attention of what belongs where,
或许就不会需要做亲子鉴定了
there'd be no need for paternity tests.
你去吧
Just go.
我来帮忙你
I'll give you a hand.
说实话我对你归类的方式也不是那么满意
Actually, I'm not crazy about how you organize things, either.
我需要你帮我一个忙
I need you to do me a favor.
真是欢迎您大驾光临啊
Hello to you, too.
好好好听我说
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look.
我需要你不问任何问题帮我签一张单子
I need you to sign some forms for me, no questions asked.
是要我签什么东西
What am I signing?
我们说好了不问任何问题
We agreed no questions asked.
考虑到她的犯罪记录我建议你小心为上
Given her criminal past, I'd advice caution.
小饼饼我爱你但闭嘴吧
Moon Pie, I love you, but shut it.
我需要做完社区服务的规定时数
Look, I got to knock out my community service,
他们说我可以去教会做
and they say I can do it at the church.
那太好啦我们绝对欢迎你来
That's great. We'd love to have you.
或者你直接帮我填工作时数表
Or you could just fill out my timesheets
这整件事就成了过眼云烟了简简单单
and we would be done with the whole thing. Easy peasy.
我才不要帮你撒谎那是罪
I'm not lying for you. That's a sin.
别这样我这把年纪了去做180小时
Oh, come on. 180 hours at my age?
谁知道我的命够不够撑到做完呢
Who knows if I've even got that much time left.
那太好啦
Well, then it's a good thing
这样我们就能在最后的时间多多相处
that we're gonna get to spend so much of it together.
你还好吗 -你好啊
Hi. - Hello.
你没听到宝宝在哭吗
Don't you hear the baby crying?
听到了啊
Yeah.
她已经哭一阵子了
She's been at it for a while.
那你为什么不去抱她
And you didn't go pick her up?
不现在还是她午觉时间
Well, no, it's still her naptime.
等她哭累了就会接着睡
She'll cry herself out and go back to sleep.
真是绝了
Unbelievable.
真棒一切都让宝宝说了算
Good idea. Let the baby be in charge.
不其实我本是让我妈说了算
No, actually, I left my mother in charge,
但我以后不会再犯这个错误了
but I won't make that mistake again.
阿曼达我是在训练她自力更生的能力
Amanda, I'm trying to teach her self-reliance,
但你要是想含在嘴里哄着你就去吧
but if you prefer to coddle her, you go right ahead.
抱歉你是在指责我太宝贝我的宝贝吗
I'm sorry, are you accusing me of babying my baby?
我可是她老妈我能感觉到她需不需要我
Because I am her mother and I think I know when she needs me.
你刚才说什么来着
You were saying?
你看
Ha!
你女儿哭了你很高兴吗
You're happy your daughter's crying?
我是高兴你错了
I'm happy you're wrong.
好了我到了
All right, I'm here.
记录我9点半到了
Clock me in for 9:30.
现在都10点15了
It's 10:15.
我来的路上有在祈祷这也得算吧
I prayed on the way in. That counts.
妈 -行
Mom. - Fine.