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我会分别跟她们好好谈谈
Well, I'm gonna talk to both of 'em
明确表示不准再给丝丝施洗
and make it real clear there'll be no more baptizing.
此事不得再提
We are done with that.
我有时都忘了你有多幼稚无脑
I forget sometimes what a child you are.
你说这种伤人的话时
You know, when you say hurtful stuff like that,
口气有点像你妈
you sound a little like your mother.
你有种再说一遍
Say that again.
我已经后悔说了第一遍
Kind of wish I never said it the first time.
我♥干♥嘛要张嘴说话
Why do I even talk?
埃文升级了我的电脑 让它变得更智能
Evan upgraded my computer, which made it smarter.
但有个问题
There was one problem--
这破玩意竟然比我还聪明
the darn thing was smarter than me.
将军
Check.
你怎么会在这里
What are you doing here?
你又怎么会在这里
What are you doing here?
我和曼蒂有些小分歧
Mandy and I had a little disagreement.
我给她点空间 冷静一下
I'm giving her some space to cool off.
明智之举 你有时确实招人烦
That seems wise. You can be quite annoying.
你这段时间不是住在宿舍吗 -本来是的
I thought you were staying at your dorm. - I was.
但我室友侵犯了我的坦迪
My roommate violated my Tandy.
坦迪是谁
Who's Tandy?
太变♥态♥了
Oh. That's sick.
我也是这么说他的
That's what I said.
你介意我今晚在这睡吗
Mind if I crash here tonight?
介意
I do.
谁管你 反正我今晚就要在这睡
Yeah, well, I'm crashing here tonight.
好吧
Fine.
我问你个问题
Let me ask you a question.
对一个人的洗礼 能撤回吗
Can you un-baptize somebody?
既然洗礼不过是
Well, since it's a magical ceremony
毫无意义的巫术仪式 那撤回又有何不可呢
that doesn't mean anything, then, sure, why not?
以科学与理性之名 我撤回对你的洗礼
In the name of science and reason, I un-baptize you.
不是指我啊 快放回去
No, not me. Put it back.
哦好
Oh. Okay.
按下撤销快捷键 你被施洗了
Control-Z. You're baptized.
谢了
Thanks.
我说的不是我
And it's not for me.
而是我的女儿
It's for my daughter.
老妈在厨房♥水槽给她施了洗礼
Mom baptized her in the kitchen sink,
而曼蒂妈妈则是在天主教堂给她施洗的
and Mandy's mom did it in a Catholic church.
浸信会与天主教之间的斗争嘛
Sure. Baptists versus Catholics.
双方在十六世纪就为此付出过惨痛代价
Much blood was shed over that in the 1500s.
指英国国教与罗马天主教决裂
她们事先都没有问过我们
They did it without telling us.
真没礼貌 -总之
Rude. - Anyway,
曼蒂准备大发雷霆
Mandy's on a warpath,
但她们不过是想帮忙而已
and all they were trying to do is help.
幸好涉及到的只是个婴儿 而不是台电脑
Well, you're lucky it was just a baby and not a computer.
看起来不坏啊
It don't look broken.
正确用法是"没坏" 也确实没坏
"Doesn't." And it isn't.
"不有"坏
"Ain't."
重点是
Point is,
我室友背着我做这件事
my roommate went behind my back.
至少他是出于好意吧
Did he at least mean well?
当然 他是个好人
Absolutely. He's a nice fella.
那你到底在不爽什么
Then what's your problem?
过来 我给你看
I'll show you.
将军 将死
Check. Checkmate.
电脑赢了
Computer wins.
这还只是新手级别
And it's set to novice level.
我根本看不懂这些是什么
I don't understand a damn thing I'm looking at.
我虽不是律师 但可以说
I'm not a lawyer, but you could make the argument
我孩子被绑♥架♥了两次
that my child was kidnapped, twice.
照理说小乔治会站在我这边
And you'd think Georgie would be on my side,
谁知他竟然根本不生气
but he wasn't even upset.
有时男人就是比较...
Well, you know, sometimes men can be...
愚笨一点
idiots.
愚笨但惹人爱
Lovable idiots.
她们做得太过火了
Look, they crossed the line,
这没什么好辩解的
and there is no defending that.
谢谢你 -要知道
Thank you. - You know,
有时祖父母就是以为
sometimes grandparents just think
自己可以为所欲为
they can do whatever they want.
但他们并不能
And they can't.
没错
That's right.
然而曾祖父母呢
Great-grandparents, on the other hand,
就可以不跟他们计较
well, they get a free pass.
毕竟他们已经半截身子入土了
'Cause they got one foot in the grave.
你嘴巴可以休息一会的
Take a break.
那我该怎么做
So, what am I gonna do?
我和玛丽住在同一屋檐下
I mean, I live with Mary, and...
但我也摆脱不了我妈
I'm stuck with my mother.
这事肯定会有后果
Well, there have to be consequences.
也许你可以先试试暂时不让她们
Maybe you could start by cutting off access to CeeCee
接触丝丝
for a little while.
但那样就没人帮我照看孩子了
Yeah, but then I have no babysitters.
那我们继续想别的办法
Well, let's keep thinking.
除非你们愿意帮我看孩子
Unless you two are volunteering.
再想想吧
Keep thinking.
早上好
Morning.
早上好
Morning.
你有什么事
What do you want?
我给你买♥♥了花
I brought you some flowers.
你不用这么做的
You didn't have to do that.
我来道歉总得有点诚意
I had to do something to apologize.
道什么歉
For?
我...
For...
没有站在你那边
not being on your side?
终于机灵了
Attaboy.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你们今天有安排吗
Y'all got anything going on today?
没什么特别的
Not much.
我打算打个盹
Well, I had a nap on the docket.
你们愿意去市政厅
How do you feel about coming down to City Hall
见证我和小乔治的婚礼吗
to witness me and Georgie getting married?
我们要结婚吗 -闭嘴
We're getting married? - Shh.
那你的爸妈怎么办
What about your parents?
是你说这事会有后果的
Well, you're the one that said there had to be consequences.
我们真的不邀请双方父母吗
So we're really not gonna invite our folks?
你能接受吗
Is that okay?
对我来说 只要有你出席就够了
Mm, I guess the only person I need there is you.
是报复性婚礼耶
Oh. A spite wedding.
我也办过
I had one of those.
闭嘴吧你
Shut up.
我去拿包包
Let me get my purse.
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